Tough Love - The Education Trust: Fill & Download for Free

To answer this, I introduce Swami Vidyanathananda, a monk of the Ramakrishna Mission, also known as Mahan Maharaj.Img Src- IIT KanpurMaharaj renounced the world and joined the Mission, after his post graduation in Mathematics from IIT, and Phd from University of California, Berkeley, USA.So, what happened to his Mathematics after he became an ascetic monk in the mission ?He continues as a professor of Mathematics at the Tata Institute of Fundamental Research, Mumbai. He donates his entire salary.He researches and presents papers in sophisticated Mathematics, that are widely published and respected.He received Shanti Swarup Bhatnagar Award in Mathematical Sciences in 2011, which is a top Science prize.He received the INR 65 Lakh Infosys Prize 2015 for Mathematical Sciences, and donated the entire money towards setting up the Fundamental Science Education Trust in Mumbai, to promote innovative ideas in education and learning Mathematics.So, what’s special ?This freedom to remain in their own uniqueness is the hallmark of monks in the Ramakrishna Mission.I know some monks personally.One Maharaj is so overflowing with love that everyone from devotees to workers affectionately call him as “Amma”. He never leaves anyone without eating- whether sweeper, driver, billionaire- same smile same love. Swami Dharmatmananda Maharaj.One other Maharaj is a very tough taskmaster, next only to Swami Vivekananda. People around skip a beat when he stares for an extra second. He too is full of love but has his own ways of expressing.During an interview with NDTV, Mahan Maharaj said,“I follow no organised religion. If you asked me and one put a gun to my head I would probably say Science”During an interview with TOI, when asked why he chose to be a monk?, Mahan Maharaj laughingly said“Perhaps because I wanted to find the peace to work away at mathematical problems”Although there are strict monastic rules, this freedom of expressing Spirituality in their own uniqueness is the life of a monk in the Ramkrishna Mission.It started from the great Swami Vivekananda Himself and continues. When Sister Nivedita started explaining her views about Ma kali to Swamiji, He encouraged her to continue this way and express Kali in her own unique ways.

“Tough Love” is a term originally used by educator and activist Bill Milliken in his book of the same name.[1]He described it as “I don't care how this makes you feel toward me. You may hate my guts, but I love you, and I am doing this because I love you.”It’s doing what’s right for your child regardless of their feelings.What tough love is NOT:It is not “My way or the highway” authoritarian parenting.It is not physical or emotional abuse.It is not imposing wildly excessive punishments for minor infractions.It is not excessive control or helicopter parenting.Tough love is about setting reasonable expectations and boundaries and applying logical, consistent and natural consequences. You lay out your expectations and you explain what will happen if those are not met.“I need you to wash the dishes before I get home at 4:30, or you will not be allowed to go to Jacob’s house this afternoon.” If you get home at 4:30 and the dishes aren’t washed - and this is the most important part - HE DOES NOT GO TO JACOB’S HOUSE.You don’t shrug your shoulders and say “Well, I guess it’s OK, this time. Go, and you can was the dishes afterwards.”NO! If weren’t going to follow through with the consequence, then don’t threaten it in the first place. Establish something you KNOW you’ll follow through with.It’s not something you do once and call yourself a parenting success. It’s a long-term strategy. Tough love doesn’t work once. It works in small ways all the time. If you screw around for sixteen years and don’t establish boundaries for your child, don’t expect that one instance of standing firm is going to change anything.The bigger the infraction or error, the bigger the consequence. If your teen gets his license revoked for DUI or other major issue, you don’t start driving him everywhere. You make him face the consequences of his choice - he rides the bus, or pays for Uber or doesn’t go anywhere. If he fails a class, you help him sign up for summer school. Tough love is also about not rescuing your child from their own mistakes. If they fail, they fail. There are consequences. Let them experience those consequences, but keep loving them no matter what.The biggest success I have with tough love is that I can trust my children to make good choices in most circumstances. I trust that they know right from wrong and can independently assess most situations and come out on the right side. They’ve learned that actions have consequences.Footnotes[1] Tough love - Wikipedia

Years ago I heard that there was a support group for individuals in a significant relationship with a psychologist. My late husband never let me live that one down, by telling me he needed to find that group. He was teasing, of course.I haven't lived with a psychologist since I am one. But I will try to answer the question based on the effect my career had had on our 31-year long marriage before my husband passed away. (Mind you, he put me through graduate school and was one of my biggest cheerleaders.)I think he would say that being married to a psychologist:Brings an additional depth to your relationship since she doesn't shy away from the more painful or vulnerable emotions.She is an excellent resource to bounce off your life struggles since she is a non-judgmental listener who has had the education and training to pick up subtle nuances.The training part and sensitivity to issues are also a pain in the butt during arguments, since she's good at bringing up points the average person hasn't thought of, making arguments a bit more intense. She's not afraid to call you on shit either.She's a very compassionate person and actually believes that most conflicts could be solved if both parties would commit to talking through problems. So, despite more intense arguments, her motivation is harmony.It sucks to take her to social events if the two of you sit at a table of strangers. Once the group takes turns and shares their occupation and learns hers, the table will go silent for several minutes until some brave soul asks if she is analyzing everyone. Of course not, but her skills will make some people nervous.She is a great parent. She is usually up on the latest research on the best parenting techniques and has the confidence to find the delicate line between grace and tough love when dealing with kid issues.And finally she is a very intimate partner and isn't afraid to share her soul with you, if trust had been built between the two of you.Being married to a psychologist isn't for the insecure or faint of heart, but if you are interested in living a life that is authentic and has integrity then you can find no better match.….I think that's what my late husband would have told you, if asked. :)