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How can I destroy my ego (self)?
Well, first you will need a complete understanding of what the Ego is. Eckharte Tolle’s book, A New Earth would be a great place to start. Link hereThis is my defininition of the Ego, or my concept of what the Ego is taken from a ton of sources on the subject (if you have read A New Earth or The Power of Now by Tolle you will notice parallels): The self-talk or “chatter” in the mind (sometimes called “monkey mind” or the “unawakened you”) that feels threatened by being alive only temporarily, overwhelmed by infinite possibilities, and out-of-control in a world of random chaos. Out of fear we try to “define” a sense of self that is solid, tangible, cohesive, and organized. In doing so we compare ourselves to others, claim ownership over physical objects, make judgements, and chalk ourselves up to labels and statistics. By attaching a sense of self to things in the material world we set ourselves up to suffer because they can never fill the void or feelings of emptiness. It also blocks us from enjoying the NOW and letting happiness flow through us in the present moment. The ego is the self-talk which engages in the never-ending process of identifying with labels and life-choices: fashion and style, physical appearance, career choice, where you live, whether to have pets and children or not, your personality, habits, favorite activities, people and social circles you associate yourself with, and what role you see yourself playing in society. Happiness comes from within and the ego looks without, so focus on what makes you feel happy on the inside rather than appearing happy to everyone else’s standards. The ego says “I need to define myself in order to feel in control”, “I am male/female”, “this is my body”, “My time is limited which is scary”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m better than others”, “I am jealous”, “I am angry”, “I am a victim of circumstance”, “life is complicated”, “I don’t have enough”, “I will be worthy of love once I get a better job” versus the soul or higher self which says, “life is random and chaotic and that is beautiful”, “we are all one”, “I own nothing and know nothing”, “I am in this body and temporarily and that’s amazing!”, “I am not in competition with anyone”, “I forgive”, “I create my reality”, “life is simple, I am happy”, “I already have everything I need to be happy” and “I simply love”. Don’t let the ego convince you that you are trapped, stuck, or without power. Loss of Ego leads to Enlightenment, in Eckharte Tolle’s words is a “lessening of materiality”.Tolle tells of his experience with what he calls “Ego Death”, which is apparently one of the prerequisites for Enlightenment. He describes going through dark times in his life and points of deep depression. One night as he was lying in bed he thought to himself, “I cannot live with myself anymore”, and then his next thought was, “Well who is the ‘I’ with whom ‘I’ cannot live?”… There was this space, the space between thoughts, that separation that allowed him to be an observer of his mind, and no longer identify with his thoughts.In Buddhism, all suffering is said to have come from Egoic desires. The Ego desires things constantly which keeps it in a perpetual state of wanting more to fill some illusion of a void, rather than being just present with suffering. The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism are truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering [desire], the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering.Through mediation you can learn how to stop attaching to and identifying with desires. By doing so you will end suffering because non-attachment leads to the end of suffering.Some techniques for meditating which you can look into:Noting and LabelingContemplating these three things: impermanence, no-self, suffering“If you meditate deeply upon the impermanence of life, non-attachment will be the inevitable consequence.”You can experience “Ego Death” when you access a ‘flow state’ of concentration, such as when you are so absorbed in a task that you are “one with” the task. This can be something like doing a crossword puzzle or birdwatching, even. Ego Death feels like having no sense of boundaries between where you begin and where you end. Everything around you is part of your consciousness and you realize the “Buddha within”Try not to try too hard to “Destroy your Ego” lol. Trying to take on this task as though you are some martyr who needs to Exercise some Egoic demon out of you is just silly and would be very entertaining for an ordained Monk to watch you try to do.A great quote from Daniel Ingram’s book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: An Unusually Hardcore Dharma book page 52:“There also seems to be something that is frequently called, “the watcher”, that which seems to be observing all this, and perhaps this is really the “I” question. Strangely, the water cannot be found, can it? It seems to sometimes be our eyes, but sometimes not; sometimes it seems to be our body, but sometimes it seems to be watching our body. Isn’t it strange how we are so used to this constant redefinition of ourselves that we never stop to question it? Question it! This odd sense of an undefinable watcher to which all of this is happening yet which is seemingly separate from all that is happening, which sometimes seems in control of “us” yes which sometimes seems at the mercy of reality: what is it really? What’s going on here?One of my teachers wisely said, “If you are observing it, then it isn’t you by definition!” Notice that the whole of reality seems to be observed. The hints don’t get any better than this. Here are three more points of theory that are very useful for insight practices and one’s attempts to understand what is meant by no-self:There are absolutely no sensations that can observe other sensations! (Notice that reality is made entirely of sensations.)There are no special sensations that are uniquely in control of other sensationsThere are no sensations that are fundamentally split off from other sensations occuring at that moment.To begin to unravel this mystery is to begin to awaken. Simply put, reality with a separate watcher is a delusion, and unconditioned reality just as it is, awakening.Quick point here: people can use the truth of no-self to rationalize all sorts of strange behaviors because they misunderstood it as nihilism. “It’s all illusion anyway,” they might say. It absolutely isn’t. All of this can be understood at the level that makes the difference by simple, clear, precise practice, so just keep at it.One more related thing here that is very important: ego is a process of identification, not a thing in and of itself. It is like a bad habit, but it doesn’t exist as something that can be found. This is important, as this bad habit can quickly co-opt the language of egolessness and come up with phrases as absurd as: “I will destroy my ego!” But, not being a thing, it cannot be destroyed, but by understanding our bare experience, our minds, the process of identification can stop. Any thoughts with “I”, “me”, “my” and “mine” in them should be understood to be just thoughts which can come and go. This is not something you can talk yourself out of. You have to perceive things as they are to stop this process.”I hope this all helps somehow!
What percentage of your life have you spent praying, reading the Bible, and going to church?
Less than 0.1% at a guess, I have read bits of the Bible from time to time, mostly to wonder how anyone with half a brain could mistake such obvious myth and allegory for reality. Occasionally I’ll Google something to answer a quiz or crossword question. Inevitably I’ve been in a few churches for ‘hatches, matches and despatches’. I was in a church just a week or two ago, not at a service, but to look at bits of the original structure that were taken from the site of a nearby Roman villa and to learn other snippets of local history.I am 69 now. I gave up totally on Christianity aged about 13. One of their own is responsible for that decision because of the hate and venom he put out during the time I attended his school RE classes.That was hate and venom directed at other denominations but his, and all beliefs other than Christianity. I still cannot imagine why anyone in that classroom could find any excuse for the evil things he said. At least all the Christians in my year should have been able to attend without being insulted but they couldn’t because of the abuse thrown at them. My Catholic friends were up there in the firing line. I won’t repeat the horrible things that teacher said about them because it isn’t true anyway.I called myself an atheist back then. Since, I have read about many different beliefs. Today, I’d say I sit somewhere between neo-pagan and Buddhism. There is no conflict there. People of both beliefs love our planet, and try to care for all its inhabitants, humans, animals and plants.There are some pockets of sense and words of benefit for humanity in the Bible, I’ll admit that much. But, there is no excuse for the level of deliberate ignorance of those who insist on taking every word literally, often flying in the face of every scientific, mathematical and humanitarian advance that the world has made.
What can people start doing now that will help them a lot in about five years?
This is a compilation of the answers for this question, had to do this and prolly will change some 1's life....1. The first and foremost thing I would like to mention is that, turn off your Facebook account. This is crucial in order to maintain your lifestyle. There is a plenty of researches around on the internet that reveal that the Facebook makes people jealous, depressed, isolated and socially tensed. To support this following is the one example reference to it: Get a life!2. Do not be society cautious. This means, you should not be bothered about people opinion. What they think or say about you. Do what you love to do. Do not lean on people's choices. If you would think what people will think if I do this, then I am sorry, but you will make yourself a person who would not be you any more. Just remember, people have to say anyhow, no matter how hard you try to convince them with your choices. They will complain, no matter what.3. Do it today, right now! If you decide to do anything, and then start from today, do not rely on tomorrow. This will help you to keep the momentum up. Once you start anything, do not let it down in the middle. Complete it. No matter how hard it is. Slowly and gradually you will make it happen. Never Quit !4. Live in present: Yes ! This is the moment for you. Live like there is no tomorrow. Do not regret by remembering your past rather learn from mistakes and make sure you do not repeat it. Do not let yourself down by thinking about the future, just set your goals, draw your plans to achieve it and just follow them.5. Do not lie: This seems quite common suggestion, but I am enforcing it because the consequences of telling lie are worse. You can loose your most precious thing if you try to protect it by lying. We all know, it is really hard to tell the truth at some moments, if you find yourself in such a situation where you have to cover it with a lie. Then, make sure you reveal it on another day. Otherwise, truth has to come out sometime, anyway and that time might be too late for you to cover it.6. Learn to accept your mistakes: This is one of the difficult things to do, but remember, once you start doing this, I tell you, you will be the most successful person in your life. Never degrade your critics or friends who tell your mistakes. This is how you will learn, there is not such thing from you realize your mistakes. As I am writing this answer, there might be plenty of grammatical mistakes in my writing as I am not that good in writing. But for me, this seems perfect unless any experienced person come and edit this answer to tell me where I went wrong.7. Learn to say NO! This may sound weird, but this is how it should work. Many people do not care about other person; they just want to get their own things done. No matter what other person has to go through for it. They always take advantage of being so nice. It does not mean that you should not be helpful to the other person. But make sure, you prioritize your tasks carefully.8. Create thrill in your life: Be adventurous, unpredictable, and fearless. Do not cling to one thing. Try to bring taste in your life by trying a variety of things. If you stick to one job or skill and you think this is it, I am happy as there are no more problems now to face then I bet you, it would be great to have for 4 to 5 years but in the long run, you will deeply regret. World is changing rapidly. Learn to face challenges, enjoy them and you will reach on top of your mark. There is a famous saying "beyond fear lies victory”.9. Do not expect anything: This will hurt more than anything else. Try to do things unconditionally. If you help someone in difficult times then do not expect that he/she will help you also. This does not work most of times. As I quoted following lines from gag:"You'll end up real disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you."10. Control your feelings: Last but not the least, learn to have control on your feelings. This will help you to achieve many milestones in your life. Do not get addicted to anything; make sure you know how to get rid of that one. Also, I would like to give a one advice that never makes a promise when you are happy and never make a decision when you are angry. Sometimes, we just get overwhelmed by certain things and loose our patience to attempt certain things which we do not mean to and later, we regret only. Therefore, keep yourself calm and happy all the time.11. If you do anything, do this first one: learn how to work hard and stick with something. Learn how to turn off Facebook and control your addiction to social media. You'll instantly be ahead of a majority of your generation.12. Pick up an athletic hobby that you can do through the years, or your sedentary academic lifestyle will do horrible things to your posture, back, and gut.13. Learn how to deal with interpersonal conflicts. Read Crucial Conversations and practice - it's a life changer (shameless plug: Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition)14. Keep a diary15. Write down the key points of what you did for the day. This may be trivial, but it will show how you spend your day.16. Write down thoughts you have for doing even simple things like buying something. This will show where your money goes.17. At the end of every month do a summary of what you have done, and mark out things you have achieved for the month, or failed to achieve. This includes your income, health, buying items, fixing things.18. Put a value on your time. If you assess your time as being worth $20 an hour then assess everything you do at that rate. So if writing and posting a letter takes half an hour, then it costs $10.19. Give yourself short term goals. Write down what you hope to achieve in the next month. Then assess how well you did it. If you failed then write down why.20. You need to plan your personal life like you would plan a company. Put a value on what you do, who you know, how much you pay for anything, and how much your possessions and actions further your goals.21. Get rid of excess baggage. This covers items you don't need, habits that are distractions, friends who you will not miss, hobbies that absorb your resources.22. Learn how to sell, go out there and sell something, anything. Get used to rejections and you will be unstoppable.23. Talk to 1 stranger everyday. Stranger = opportunity. Opportunity to make new friend, to get new ideas, to get rid of that fear talking to stranger, to start a business venture and much more. Heck yeah, that stranger might be your future soulmate24. Write 20 ideas on anything everyday. Keep digging and you might find gold. When you find gold, make sure you take action25. Be honest to yourself and start living a life true to yourself, not the life others expect of you. Do it NOW. Wherever you are with whatever you have. No excuses.26. Be physically fit NO MATTER WHAT. That you don't have enough time to hit the gym coz you work 14 hours a day should not be an excuse. Focus on your health the way you focus on love or your career. Give up junk food, smoking and other unhealthy habits. And get health insurance.27. Forge valuable relationships - not PR or Facebook friendships - Stay in touch with real friends who care about you and who you care about. Remember, happiness is best shared.28. Keep LEARNING new things. This is one of the most underrated virtues and a prerequisite for mental health. And it doesn't have to be a new language, or a musical instrument, if you don't have the time. New words, games. Ideas, philosophies etc. Reading a random wiki page everyday, solving crossword or Sudoku can be equally refreshing for the brain.29. Laugh for 5 minutes every morning.30. Meditate. Preferably every morning. If you can't do that at least ensure that you quieten your mind for 10 mins during the day. Don't think about anything. Just listen to yourself breathe. And BE. If you want a skill to develop the most worthwhile skill one can develop in life is meditation. Learn about Buddhist meditation, namely insight meditation. You don't have to be Buddhist to learn these practices. If you really want to understand reality and I am not taking about theory like physics but verifiable truths you can see for yourself then learn about Buddhism and the practice of meditation. In this world where there is much stress and suffering, learning meditation will give you an effective means of dealing with these things and helping others to do the same. Hope this helps.31. Waste less time. Life comprises of days and days, of hours. Every minute you waste, costs you a part of your life. Remember that.32. Make it a habit to listen more than you talk. Listen to people that come from different countries and different backgrounds. Learn from them and their experiences.33. Live below your means and invest. Figure out what truly matters to you, and don't waste money on stuff that you don't truly value. Learn to cook. If you can, bike to work or take public transportation. Pay off debt and invest your savings. Invest in yourself. I strongly recommend books written by William J. Bernstein and John C. Boggle. Other good reads include: The Richest Man in Babylon and The Greatest Salesman in The World.34. Tell the people you LOVE that you love them. Soon and often. Life is cruel and can snatch someone so away so quickly.35. Learn from your own and other's mistakes but don't let them bog you down. And don't hold grudges. I heard it said that "Holding a grudge is like drinking a glass of poison and expecting someone else to get sick from it."36. Create Nothing is more satisfying in life than looking at your imaginations come to life. Creativity is essential not only for success but also for inner satisfaction. Some of the happiest moments in my life have been when I have created something out of nothing. Make yourself an idea machine. Think of two to three ideas each day and note them down in a diary. Some of these ideas may give your life a direction which you would not have imagined otherwise.37. Share you can be the most successful person on the earth. But if there is no one to share your happiness, you can never be happy. All of us have some life experiences or learning’s that can help others. But most of us limit those experiences to ourselves.38. Sugar is poison. The point is, staying healthy is actually easy, get sleep, and eat right, exercise mind and body.39. Pay close attention to what you eat for a couple weeks. Photographs with your phone, a notebook, whatever works. Configure an alarm for 30 minutes after a meal to write down how you feel. Write about the quality of your feces (no really). After that, eat stuff that makes you feel good and makes high quality poo ;)40. Confront issues in romantic relationships directly with kindness, and attempt to behave in a way that is beneficial to the group (you and your partner), not yourself. It's difficult when you're angry, and good training. If you know you want something significant in life the partner doesn't (children for example) don't let the issue sit around.41. Time is the most precious thing a man has. Write a daily journal of your activities. Prepare a monthly and an annual report of your time spent.You will see the change in a month.42. Develop a strong friendship with someone new every 3 months. I'm talking best friend level. To do this, tell a girl you love her, she will be like "we should just be friends".43. "How you do one thing, is how you do everything" Do anything with tenacity.44. You should ACT, and NOW. Don't be stuck in thinking and planning. Decide quickly what is your FUTURE PLAN and go into action. Of course you can RECTIFY at any time .45. If you don't have one already, have a dream. Strive everyday to make it happen. Set a goal in life. Stop listening to others and take decisions.Good Luck and God Bless
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