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I wrote an "open letter" to San Francisco two days ago when I first heard of this idiotic idea ( http://feastcraft.com/2011/10/12/dear-san-francisco-an-open-letter/ ):Hey, cool to see you’re still around and kicking. Long time no speak. Me? The last year was fun. Since I left you I have moved in with Dallas, whom you might remember from your snide remarks about undereducated and overly self-involved other cities. She’s been good to me, doesn’t charge me an arm and a leg to live and cares for my kid at less than one-fourth the price you hoped to get. Oh, and I don’t get spit on when I drive a car around which makes it easier to, you know, have a kid and a stroller and stuff.But that’s not why I am writing you. You’ve never been a fan of subtle, I give you that, and you rarely made me wonder what you’d do next. You’re predictably off your rocker and I kind of liked that, to be honest.This week I heard something. You are considering raising mandatory tipping in sit-down restaurants to 25 percent, one fourth of the cost of the meal on top of it. So I decided to write you this letter. Let me get right to it, you know me, I am not the kind of guy who beats around the bush or hides his dislikes for things behind some passive-aggressive “will no one think of the children” type of rant.Are you nucking futs? What has happened to you? Do you really think that forcing diners not only to do the evaluation of an employee’s job performance instead of the business owner but also give the equivalent of an hour’s work wages outside of dot.com for ten minutes of work on a $100 tab is a good idea?Tips are an abomination to begin with. They’ve morphed from a small bribe and accepted means of thanking someone for a job well done to the sole source of income for some hospitality employees. They’re convenient, I give you that. Restaurant owners don’t have to bother with paying their employees, doing the job evaluation, or don’t pay for downtimes caused by their own bad business decisions. They’re no longer a way for diners to express gratitude but a means for restaurateurs to keep down labor costs and therefore listed menu prices. A “hidden” 25 percent increase in cost is something unheard of in any other industry, yet you somehow think it’s a great idea for the one area we call “hospitality”.That’s anything but hospitable. It’s idiotic.Here’s an idea. If you absolutely want to force someone via mandate to do something for the betterment of the industry and labor situations in San Francisco… ban tips. Make it mandatory to pay your staff wages commensurate with their experience and value. Force restaurateurs to pay and evaluate their own employees instead of pushing it off onto the customer, to list prices on their menu that show the real cost of parts and labor, and equalize wages between the skilled physical labor in the back of the house and the untrained labor in the front.Make restaurateurs pay for their business decisions instead of telling your diners that Johnny Q Eater has to pay up because Frank Foodslinger had to sit around in an empty restaurant for hours and someone has to reimburse him for that.A while back you mandated the establishment of a health care pool for hospitality workers. That was cool of you. Then you went ahead and made the diner directly bear this burden instead of forcing restaurateurs to work those extra expenses into their business model and adjust prices accordingly. A hidden charge, carried not by the person who makes daily decisions about the business but by the patrons who buy its wares was a stupid idea. It works in every other industry, yet somehow we exempt restaurants from making sound financial decisions.Now you’ve decided that your food service workers in the front of the house don’t make enough money. Which, let’s face it, is a combination of a really bad economy and idiotic decisions made not by diners or workers but by business owners. When have we stopped holding them responsible for their actions?Don’t tell me you can’t change the industry as profoundly as this would change it. Forcing diners to give a specified amount instead of what tips used to be, an appreciation of a job well done, is as much a cut with traditional approaches as this would be. And we’d lay the onus on the ones whose job it is to do that kind of work – the business owner.In closing, San Francisco, I think you’re off your rocker. If you want to change the way hospitality employees are compensated do it right. Force accountability into the income of front of the house members and take a good, hard, look into the back of those places. Already an average waitstaff takes home three times as much for their unskilled labor than a trained worker performing physically hard and dangerous work in the back. Don’t allow business owners to hide behind their diners’ responsibilities anymore. Abolish the idiotic mandatory tip, require business owners to stand behind their business and staff with their own checkbook, and make them bleed for idiotic decisions that lead to empty restaurants instead of forcing the diner to buck up for them and hand out more money.

The states have been different from all countries I've been to so far. I visited NewYork state then went all the way to Oregon. And I had some general impressions on both:1- People are so friendly. In fact, too friendly for someone like me, lol.Everyone chats with you like they've known you for a while. They ask “how are you today?" and answer in length something like “oh not doing my best given the weather but other that it's all good" with a bunch of giggles and smiles.Not to mention, the waiters constantly check on us, asking if we need something.Having been raised in Kuwait, the small chat is usually kept to the very bare minimum. And how are yous are replied to with 2 words no more.Not only that, but Americans also apologize furiously and sincerely for things that look very normal to me. People would apologize deeply that they couldn't help you find something or that they had to do something that caused you a minute inconvenience.I found it sweet but way too deep for interaction between strangers. But that's just a matter of what I'm used to.2- Traffic light for every lane.I had never seen or heard about this before I landed in the US. I would look up and there is 4-5 traffic lights for one street only ! My husband then explained to me that the right or left lanes can sometimes move when the others aren't, hence each has their own traffic light.In Kuwait there is usually one traffic light on each side of the street is all.3- Diversity in products.You can ask my husband how my first visit to target then Walmart went. I was basically like a child in an enormous candy store.There is a huge number of products suitable for everything.I found hair products in huge numbers for each hair type. I found makeup shades with huge ranges. Given that back home, accepting diversity isn't that big of a trend yet, I had to get myself some supplies.4- Doing everything yourself.Call me spoiled, but back home I never fill up my gas tank myself, or carry my luggage into an hotel, or check myself out of a supermarket without interacting with a cashier worker. But in the US, I had to it all myself.However, the most shocking thing I had to do myself is this:We finished eating in a restaurant, so I informed the waitress the I wanted my food for takeaway. So she came, left this carton on the table then walked away:If my husband hadn't explained to me that this is normal there, I would've been pissed at the poor service and laziness. But it was just the norm as I had to do to pack my food into boxes in a couple of places after that.5- Asking for a bag and a straw.Being so environmentally conscious isn't a big thing yet back home, so I was definitely taken by surprise that I have to go out of my way to ask for a bag or a straw for my drink. Most people didn't get bags if they purchased few things and some had their own bags with them.6- Interaction with the waiters.When I went to restaurants with my husband in different countries, I never understood what he was doing. We'd want our cheque but he kept sitting there only to tell me that no one's looking at us yet. So I would just raise a hand and shout “excuse me".Then I came to the US and I realized that service there is all about eye contact.You close the menu, they see that and come pick it up and get your order. You need the cheque, you give them a look and they know that you need something and come right away.Everyone in my family thought that's hilarious. If I kept waiting for a waiter to look at me, I'd spend the night in a restaurant every week over here.And of course, I was not used to tipping at all and forgot to do it all the time.In fact, I had no clue how to tip when paying with a credit card until my husband showed me. You basically write the amount you want to tip on the receipt.I still think that giving 20% of the receipt as a tip is way too much. But I guess I have to follow the norms because the system is very different over there.7-Calories on the menu.Everything on the menu has the calories written next to it. Thank you for ruining my chance to have a guilt-free dessert America ! Lol. I definitely see how it's useful for others though.. just not to someone as obsessive as me.8- Dogs everywhere.I had a vague idea about this… but oh boy, I underestimated the size of it. There were dogs everywhere I went. The supermarkets, airports, houses, elevators and so on.In the few hours I spent in the airport of San Francisco, I've seen more dogs than I see in Kuwait for weeks.9- The bathrooms are shocking.This has been mentioned by most people before for a reason. There is no squirter/ hose/ bidet. You only use toilet paper. I forgot that most of the time and therefore didn't prepare for it so I had to keep wetting tissues before using the toilet.Also, I had no clue how to shower without drains on the floor. Back home, we have a drain in the bathroom. So even if you spilled a ton of water on the floor, you simply push it into the hole with a squeegee in the ground and you're good.So my husband showed me that I have to shut the shower curtains tight- as I don't have any at home. And that I should keep the towel very close to me to dry myself before leaving the shower and so on.10- The houses are modest and not as fancy as I expected.I had always thought that everyone in the US lived in a huge fancy house as shown in hollywood movies.One time I even squabbled with my husband because he wanted to live in a house. I said “ I don't want to have to clean all that much all the time !”. He explained to me again and again that it's not that much bigger than an apartment but I wasn't convinced.And I wasn't the only one. One of the things my family asked me is “does their house (my in-laws) look like the one from home alone?”.But to my surprise, houses can be as small as you want them to be. From the inside, when it's a one-storey house, it looks exactly like an appartment.So basically, they were like apartments sliced up into units, instead of being gathered in a building.It was quite the informative trip for sure.

This may sound odd, but I myself didn’t consider the prospects of benefits of the study. It was my goal to become a psychologist professionally in a variety of fields within the spectrum of psychology.My ideal of psychology had and is always the same, it is a scientific understanding and the knowledge that comes with it of the behavior of the human condition. Although a great deal is associated with and under the umbrella of Mental Health, it is a grievous error to think that all psychology is about that. It is not.If one approached psychology with the sole concept of just being analytical then they are missing the entire scope of psychology. One does not spend a handful of years, get a degree in psychology and deem themselves a reliable psychologist. No, it takes years, multiple degrees, and not just psychology, one needs philosophy, social anthropology, and having masters in human biology and neurology helps tremendously. They are not doctorate degrees, but you learn the same practical information without the mess and fuss. You can still hold doctorate degrees in various psychology fields, philosophy, and social anthropology.It is not the purpose of a psychologist to cut people up or drug them. All we do is seek the truth and guide people who are troubled in more positive options and directions, but it is paramount that it is clear that they are left knowing it is still their choice and their right to free will. We do not have the right to take that from anyone.So, as far as I am concerned, one should not go into psychology on a fancy. One should only go in expecting to get both feet wet and be prepared for a lengthy wade.The benefit comes from the pure experience of knowledge, study, field work, essay writing, having that essay become a thesis which can be shared and worked up into a plausible theory. The thrill of the challenge. Yet one must be prepared to accept that your effort doesn’t pan out, but it doesn’t matter because the effort alone is akin to a pod bursting with seeds of new ideas. It is always a group effort among your class peers, or it should be. Some hotheads think otherwise and are quite selfish. Those types amount to very little post graduate, if indeed they graduate at all.The more one comes to understand and comprehend the human psyche it because easier to accept that we as humans are not infinite in our actions and reactions to given situation. Not only are they quite finite there are only 80 known types of human behavioral habits, tics, tells, and physical body activity that can be read by a highly trained forensic psychologist. The polygraph or use of hypnotic drugs or hypnotism itself is no longer necessary, and all of those have not only proven unreliable, but not one of them can be presented as evidence in a court of law. Where the testimony of a Doctor of Forensic Psychology can. Some criminals might be able to master or control some of these behaviors, but not the entire menu. The psychologist usually loads up the interview with all kinds of mundane and non related topic but cleverly crafted with innuendo to initiate a response.You must always remember that our subconscious responds and reacts faster than our conscious and they are never synced with each other. The closest that happens is while your asleep and when you float up in to the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage of sleep just prior to waking, bits and pieces of jumbled and unsorted clips of what the subconscious picked up that your conscious did not form a little strange bit of ridiculous stories and streams them out for you, thus you dream. They don’t mean a thing. The trick is to learn to embrace dreams and enjoy the entertainment value. But back to evaluating a criminal, they can say what ever they want, but their body language denies that they are telling the truth.“Maybe they are just nervous?” you ask. Oh they can be nervous and that is taken in and accounted for and those behaviors are dismissed after being read and confirmed. As I am trying to explain, it is a specific and extremely unique technique of a proven science.It is nothing new. A few of these techniques have been used by frauds such as fortune tellers, faith healers, spiritualist that commune with the souls of ones who have passed on. Then of course there is the time honored profession of poker players where it rarely has anything to do with the cards in your hand, it is all about how well you can read the other players, and your own confidence to hide your own tells, and skills at playing the bluff. Which of course forces others to pay more attention to the cards in hopes of being dealt a winning hand so they feel safe enough to call the bluff. Problem being is amazing hands are rarely dealt, and you really have no idea what the guy with the largest accumulation of poker chips is holding in his hand. Poker is not a card game, it is a mind game and the cards are only the instruments of the mind game.Psychologists do not interrogate, they carry one pleasant interviews and seemingly mindless chit chat. Then at the end of it all, they take the evidence provided by the prosecution including the timeline and present to the suspect a theory of the events of their actions, and explain that a confession will work much more favorably then allowing the jury decide. You would be surprised how many are eager to cut a deal for some sort of leniency, privilege, or comfort of incarceration.The other benefits of being a psychologist is learning peace of mind because of the knowledge and understand of how things work. Awareness is heightened and one becomes more passionate, compassionate, and more appreciated of life itself. Yet we are trained to remain stoic and neutral within the duty of our profession.So to draw a comparison of what is a good psychologist is and what a bad psychologist is. A good psychologist keeps out of the limelight, high society and celebrity. A bad psychologist does quite the opposite, and yes Dr. Phil I am talking about you and I declare you are most likely the worst example of all. My God! What psychologist with a degree puts on a reality show and humiliates folks with serious issues? Oh sure, they signed a contract and are being paid a stipend to appear. Well that certainly blows the entire oath of confidentiality out of the water doesn’t it?What Dr. Phil does is inhumane, unprofessional, and does so for the purpose of popularity, greed, and opulence. A disgrace to the institute of the science of psychology. Don’t even bother trying to bring him down with a class action law suit because he is protected by the golden laws of entertainment law. Which is carte blanche or carta blanca if you prefer which means basically you have a blank cheque (check in America) to do as you bloody well please. Why? Because it is for the purpose of entertainment only.So if your idea of benefits of psychology is fame and fortune as Dr. Phil turned it into a circus, I personally would not welcome you.Cheers