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“The Scorpion and the Fox - A Survivor’s Tale!”So this is it, everything I’ve learned in the five years since I walked out on my BPD Queen with the engagement ring still in my pocket…‘… Disclaimer: The following material was written for individuals trying to recover from a relationship that had toxic consequences for them, and is not intended as a support resourse for Borderlines or anyone with BPD traits.I do however send my apologies and empathy to the milder variants; the ones who actually seek help; and the ones who warn their romantic partners in time to defend themselves! But from all accounts you are the minority!Nothing I write here should be construed as meaning there is no hope for you and you should give in and/or end it all. You should not! You should get treatment, warn any future partner and work together every day to ensure a far happier ending to your own story…Cluster B Personality Disorders:Borderline Personality Disorder is part of the Cluster B Spectrum and is often described as a mixture of disorders with varying blends and degrees of severity making it hard to pinpint exactly and a nightmare to treat.Definition: Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior. They include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.For me I now view it as one Narc Spectrum with Mild to Severe versions where each Cluster B variant (Borderline/Histrionic/Antisocial/ Narcissist) can appear singularly or as a hybrid on any part of the spectrum from Mild to Severe. A Sweet Shop “Pick and Mix” if you will.More men seem to fall into the Narcissism/Antisocial area and more women into the Borderline/Histrionic area but there are no set rules. There are a multitude of variations of Borderline as well as several sub-types of Narcissism as well. Histrionics are drama queens usually prone to sexualised attention-seeking behaviours, an overt symptom of Borderline or Narcissism rather than a disorder unto itself.Antisocials include Sociopaths and Psychopaths and number approx. 1 in 25 people, souless shells with absolutely no conscience whatsoever. Required Reading: The Sociopath Next Door: Martha Stout: 8601300480657: Amazon.com: BooksGood overview of Narcs and Antisocials in this video:A Narcopath as I have come to understand it is someone suffering from two or more of the disorders, usually a mix of Antisocial and Narcissism. But up to 60% of Cluster B’s are comorbid/comorbiding: relating to or denoting a medical condition that co-occurs with another. The more disorders in the mix, the more seductive and dangerous the Cluster B will be and the harder your escape and road to recovery will be.My Top-Tip: Don’t spend months or years as I did trying to figure out which one your ex-partner was. Read the following articles to get a better understanding of what you’re dealing with:1.) The Non-Narc’s Guide to “Cluster B” for Recovering Abuse Survivors - Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed2.) Is She NPD, BPD, Histrionic or a Psychopath? -3.) THERE MUST BE A PONY IN HERE, SOMEWHERE4.) Co-occurring Disorders5.) Clinical Characteristics of Comorbid Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Patients With Borderline Personality Disorder.6.) Questioning the coherence of histrionic personality disorder: borderline and hysterical personality subtypes in adults and adolescents.7.) Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified8.) Helping family members & loved-ones9.) DATING HARLEY QUINN10.) Techniques That Stop High Conflict BehaviorArticle Summary: “You think if you nail down exactly which disorder it is then you’ll be able to sleep soundly at night. But it’s a fool’s mission, you’re kidding yourself, because most personality disorders are an overlap. They’re two or more of those disorders and the ratio can change depending on their mood. Trying to nail down a Cluster B’s condition is like trying to nail jello to the wall. There will always be that one time that doesn’t fit the pattern and it can send you slowly nuts. (Alpha Reboot)Borderline Personality Disorder: Is believed to occur due to neglect and/or sexual abuse suffered by the BPD as a child, resulting in the emotional development of the child being halted at a young age and unhealthy coping behaviours being formed which leave the borderline struggling to maintain relationships, in particular romantic/intimate relationships in adulthood. There seems to be a genetic component as well, and debate is ongoing as to whether someone needs to have both: a.) the genetic predisposition, b.) suffered trauma via neglect and/or sexual abuse to trigger the BPD disorder.BPD sufferers essentially grow up to be emotional toddlers in the physical bodies of adults… who will make adult decisions based on a 3–5 year olds understanding of consequences, responsibility and morality.Borderline Personality Disorder Information and SupportBorderline Personality DisorderBorderline Personality Disorder Demystified |What Is a ‘Quiet’ Borderline? - Borderline Personality DisorderEmotional Toddlers: Narcissists, Borderlines and Psychopaths, Part 1Emotional Toddlers: Narcissists, Borderlines and Psychopaths, Part 2The Myth vs. Reality Series!Borderline Personality is NOT the same as Bipolar Disorder!Borderline is not the “Good” Cluster B disorder, as many apologists would have you believe. There are no good Personality disorders.Borderlines can appear in several forms: Lower-Functioning/Conventional, Higher-Functioning/Invisible, or Combination (a mixture of both styles)There also appears to be a milder version generally known as Quiet Borderlines who project/rage internally rather than externally and often find themselves victims of Narcissists themselves. There is ongoing debate as to whether these are as dangerous as the Classic Borderline: 5 year update based on personal experience with a work colleague: They are just as dangerous as the classic Borderline!Anywhere from 25% up to 60% are Co-Morbid, blended with another disorder, thats why there is so much confusion online.Borderlines are only victims until they enter intimate relationships then in most cases they become the abuser and should be treated as such.The Phase 1 Lovebomb/Idealization phase with a Borderline is arguably the most intense of all the Cluster B Idealizations which makes the borderline the most dangerous predator of them all. This is especially intense if Histrionic is included in the mix.Each disorder may have different internal dynamics but for their victim it always results in some version of the Narcissist Abuse Cycle (Idealize/Devalue/Discard/Replace/Hoover).Recovery for their victims takes years and affects them for life which is why Cluster B’s especially Borderlines must be labelled and treated with such extreme caution, to protect the general population.A Cluster B with Histrionic in the mix is the hardest of all to recover from as they have the most powerful allure/sexual magnetism which is intoxicating to men and impossible to forget.A Borderline is easier to spot as they engage in Splitting (Black/White thinking).Borderlines are often referred to as failed/underdeveloped Narcissists, though ironically they have even more weapons of torment in their toolkit: e.g. Splitting is a trait of Borderlines, not Narcissists.Borderlines can ONLY be judged from their actions, NEVER their words!Regardless of what you may have read or heard elsewhere, Borderlines do not"get better" with age, unless they've entered into (and stuck with) core trauma focused recovery work. The longer these core issues go untreated/unresolved, the more entrenched they are, and the deeper and more habituated the one's defenses and acting-out behaviors become. I have read and seen personally how the acting out behaviors can mellow with age to be replaced by Paranoia and Jealousy. Age can't heal the borderline disordered personality, but hard inner work can.Untreated Cluster B’s are the closest thing to the Vampires we see in our popular fiction. They don’t feed on Blood. They do feed on their victims souls and on a particular form of energy called “Proximate energy”. 6 Types of Energy Vampires That Emotionally Exhaust You ⋆ LonerWolf?Borderlines and Narcissists attract each other like magnets. In most cases the Borderline will eventually tear the Narcissist apart, so you can imagine what that means for a relatively normal, loving human being.Cluster B apologists will usually try to reframe victims stories as a normal relationship that went bad and the victim is just a bitter ex.Cluster B apologists will usually try to minimise victims stories by arguing that the bad ones are a minority and that each case is different. The reality is there are clear, measurable and quantifiable patterns of abuse which are consistent with the Narc abuse cycle and concur with the majority of survivors stories.Cluster B apologists will always ask for statistics. This is a ruse. BPD is the most complex of all the Personality disorders, one most trained councillors dont even want to deal with. There are few reliable statistics. Therefore examining this disorder is best done by reading Victim and Survivor accounts to look for patterns which once again are consistent with the Narc abuse cycle and concur with the majority of survivors stories.Cluster B apologists will argue that only highly trained professionals are qualified to diagnose a Cluster B. The reality is that >90% of Cluster B’s will never step foot in a councillors office. The partner of a Cluster B is therefore the most qualified person to diagnose the condition, having been put through the Narc Abuse Cycle.Types of Borderline:There are three core Archetypes:Lower-Functioning/ConventionalHigher-Functioning/InvisibleCombination (a mixture of both styles)Subcategories of People with BPDSubtypes of borderline personality disorder patients: a cluster-analytic approachThese manifest in four BPD subtypes:ImpulsivePetulantDiscouragedSelf-DestructiveWhat are the 4 main BPD subtypes: how do they differ from one another?These can be further characterised into four Abuse Styles:The WitchThe QueenThe WaifThe HermitTHERE MUST BE A PONY IN HERE, SOMEWHEREAll Borderlines try to control you. The Witch controls with intimidation and abuse. The Queen controls by making you feel inferior and defective. The Waif controls by shaming and guilting you. The Hermit controls by making you responsible for her survival, and inhibiting your freedom.You'll be attracted to aspects in the Borderline, that are missing in yourself. If you're a fixer/rescuer, you'll be drawn to the fragile/vulnerable facets of The Waif. If you're meek/passive and afraid to assert yourself, you'll be drawn to The Witch. If you lack empowerment, and have discomfort/shyness around others because you feel unworthy, you'll admire The Queen. If your nature is outgoing/gregarious, but your family of origin didn't share this characteristic, or saw their world as a dangerous/scary place, you could find yourself inhibited (and limited) by The Hermit.Each of these abuse styles can overlap depending on the current supply needs of the Borderline! - note: This was pointed out to me by a recovering Borderline!CRITICAL PUBLIC WARNING: Even a short relationship with a Borderline can cause permanent damage to their victims emotional and spiritual well-being.Object Constancy: “the glue that holds relationships together!”Whole Object Relations (WOR): This is the capacity to see oneself and other people as simultaneously having both liked and disliked traits. Without WOR, you can only flip between seeing yourself amd other people as all-good or all-bad.Object Constancy (OC): This is the ability to maintain your positive emotional connection to both yourself and other people despite being frustrated, hurt, angry, or disappointed by them.Abuse and OC: If you have Object Constancy you are less likely to abuse those you claim to love. Without Object Constancy during a fight, all your positive history is lost, as is your desire to stay connected in the future.Cheating and OC: A second part of Object Constancy involves the ability to maintain your positive connection to a liked other person when the person is no longer physically present. This ability to stay connected despite the physical absence of the loved one diminishes the likelihood of cheating on your mate.Original Article here: Elinor Greenberg's answer to From what I read, people can be on the lower, middle, and top end of the narcissist spectrum. At what point on this sliding scale does it become a disorder where individuals engage in what most of us have experienced?Please see here for another excellent article:Michael Gera's answer to What causes borderline personality disorder (emotionally unstable personality disorder)?Article Sample: It is important to note that BPD causes fragmentation of memory including, lack of object constancy, lack of whole object relations, “emotional amnesia” as well as outright False Memories (things that never quite happened, but feel as true to Borderlines as anything else). This peculiar problem with memory means that Borderlines only remember others based on their last encounter and continuously color the entire relationship based on each last encounter (i.e. they cannot link the past with the present. Because of the lack of object constancy, they can only live in the present).Books:https://www.amazon.com/Hate-You-Dont-Leave-Understanding-Personalityebook/dp/B0046ECFIG/ref=pd_sim_351_4_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0046ECFIG&pd_rd_r=173357c3-c836-11e8-83ba35492fd40af5&pd_rd_w=jl9Mc&pd_rd_wg=dZ5sr&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=56838e6b-66d4-41e0-a762743f1a1a628a&pf_rd_r=N4FMFGZERQCAFRXQX5GB&pf_rd_s=desktop-dpsims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=N4FMFGZERQCAFRXQX5GBhttps://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality-ebook/dp/B004DNXGFQ/ref=pd_sim_351_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B004DNXGFQ&pd_rd_r=173357c3-c836-11e8-83ba-35492fd40af5&pd_rd_w=jl9Mc&pd_rd_wg=dZ5sr&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=56838e6b-66d4-41e0-a762743f1a1a628a&pf_rd_r=N4FMFGZERQCAFRXQX5GB&pf_rd_s=desktop-dpsims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=N4FMFGZERQCAFRXQX5GBUnderstanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship - Kindle edition by Christine Ann Lawson. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.My Story: My ex was Primarily a Borderline Queen, blended with Covert Narcissist and Histrionic… who behaved literally but perhaps not consciously as an emotional Vampire…I identified her as Borderline through something they do called splitting when they (Personality) flip in an instant from loving you to hating you or vice versa.I could physically see it happening in my ex where her green eyes would flicker and the person I loved was gone and the eyes staring back at me were full of malevolence. It was so shocking I even started researching possession.Example of BPD Splitting/Projection:Traits of BPD-Defense Mechanism of ProjectionCase Study: The Narcissist Abuse CycleShould you find yourself in a relationship withone here’s what to expect::7 psychological phrases to know if you're dating a narcissistStage 1 Idealization phase: In this honeymoon phase your Borderline mirrors everything you've always wanted/needed to believe about yourself. You can expect sophisticated Psychological techniques like Lovebombing, Attribute Mining, Mirroring, Future Projection and intense sex that disable all the logical and emotional defences of their victims.Beware of Toxic AffectionHow a Borderline Relationship EvolvesWomen On The Spectrum of BPD-Did She Really Love Me?Relationship Stages with a Narcissist or Borderline and TriangulationAttribute Mining is the most insidious tactic they use and something most people don’t even know about. It’s where your BPD/Narc looks for things you’d like to believe about yourself (Career/Looks etc.) and builds that up massively inside you making you feel so good about yourself that you feel like you’re in a movie or a dream. It gives them a massive amount of emotional power over their victims and you can see this being used in cults etc. There is no defence against this except realising when something is too good to be true, and there is no cure when the BPD/Narc drops the act and moves you to the opposite extreme in stage 2.Simple Real life example: My ex knew I loved hiking and told me repeatedly she would go to mass and pray to meet a man who would take her hillwalking and hiking. Note: she had never been hiking in her life but the knight in shining armour- “I’ve been waiting for you all my life” tactic is a very powerful weapon in neutralising their victims defences.Stage 2 Devaluation phase where their intense self hatred is Projected onto their victims and all their victims deepest and most private insecurities, uncovered during the lovebombing phase are then amplifed 100 fold in a campaign to destroy you from the inside out. A key tactic will be boundary violations where the BPD/Narc will push against your boundaries again and again in an attempt to break you down.In addition to Projection the victim will be regularly subjected to one or more of: Pathological Lying, Cheating, Rejection, Magical Thinking, Transference, Gaslighting, Splicing, and the horrific “Splitting” which totally destabilises the victims sense of grounding, self esteem and self worth.Splitting, Splicing and Projection in BPD PersonalitiesThe victim goes from being loved completely by their dream partner to a drip feed starvation diet. Once a day/week/month you get a flashback of the Idealization dream phase and the victim ends up desperately trying to find ways to bring it back. Anyone who knows how human psychology works knows keeping someone on an emotional drip feed ends up completely addicting the victim to whatever supply is being offered. This tactic plays right into the BPD/Narcs playbook of breaking down their Victims emotionally and spiritually.People often stay in abusive relationships because of something called 'trauma bonding' — here are the signs it's happening to youEnd Result: They leave their victim unsure of what is real and what is not… (Councillors call it “The Fog”, a mixture of Stockhom Syndrome and Cognitive Dissonance) (FOG is an acronym for Fear Obligation and Guilt, which is how personality disordered individuals manipulate others), and you’ll be conditioned to accept things you would never in a million years accept if you were thinking clearly, and your friends and family will be scratching their heads in amazement.Helping family members & loved-onesCRITICAL PUBLIC WARNING: In this phase you are facing more than just emotional abuse. You are being targetted with a prolonged, deliberate and all out Spiritual attack which will ultimately change your Soul. I would go so far as to call it an Emotional/Spiritual Rape. Whether you eventually recover or not you will never return to the person you were before. This Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD or Complex-PTSD is akin to soldiers coming back from a war. It’s that SERIOUS!Why Narcissistic Abuse is so Damaging - Let Me Reach with Kim SaeedI Miss Me....And I Want Me BackNB: Be very careful with your Phone, Email, Facebook, PC, Bank Account information as the BPD/Narc will have no qualms about going into your private stuff. There are simply NO Boundaries that they will respect.Simple Real life example: chip chip chip away… My ex (BPD Queen) started off with the usual banter and teasing of a normal relationship but it didn’t stop there. Gradually every single thing I liked about myself, every possession, my family, my very thoughts were devalued, mocked and ridiculed. I would get the constant devaluation tactic of “Oh isn’t he so handsome, Isn’t he so mature, Isn’t he so well off… but we have true love so thats ok!”. Chip Chip Chip!Simple Gaslighting Example: In our house I used to clean the kitchen, sweep the living room floor and clean out the fire 6 out of 7 days as I’m a clean freak. My BPD started pretending she was doing it more than me and swearing on her parents lives she was telling the truth. I got so confused I put up a chart in the kitchen to tick off, only to find her sneaking in and filling it out when she thought I wasn’t looking. Wow!There's a name for the tactic manipulative people use in relationships to make you feel like you're going crazyNote: The term “Gaslighting” comes from the 1944 movie Gaslight.Stage 3 is the Discard phase where the Narc will start pushing you away even more (everything from Triangulation to RIP to disappearing acts) and will either leave you or push you into leaving them.In the final stages of a BPD relationship you can expect Redundant Interaction Phenomenon (RIP). RIP is when they keep stating the exact same wounding things to you over and over, as if you need more nails driven into that coffin! You might hear, "I'm not attracted to you-I don't love you anymore-I wish it could've worked between us," or far far worse… Every time your Borderline says this stuff, it feels like they're pounding a stake through your heart,Simple Real life example: Towards the end my ex would disappear three out of 4 weekends apparantly going home to see her family in the country while I was left in Dublin looking after our house and our AirBnB guests. Right at the end I knew we were done for and I moved an acquaintance of mine into our spare room. It only lasted a month as I now realise I did it subconsciously to expose her and she didn’t disapoint, using the BPD/Narc tool of Triangulation to maximum effect, making me feel like I was an unwelcome stranger in my own home. When she became sexually overt towards our new housemate I decided to pack my things and go, with her cruel warning of “You’ll Regret It!” ringing in my ears.She then engaged in all the usual BPD nonsense you can read in countless horror stories on the internet: Pretending I assaulted her, Cancelling my bank cards, Trying to Steal my deposit so I would be homeless even though I left her in our house out of kindness, a house I had fought hard to get in the first place.Triangulation: Creating some form of drama or chaos, with the Narcissist in the middle, generally involving two rivals, and manipulating them into a conflict with each other. This either done for the entertainment of the Narcissist or as a way to deflect blame/accountability from themselves.Stage 4: Here's what happens when you break up with a narcissistIf you finally get the strength to leave before you’re truly broken as I did a whole new horror unfolds as in the stage 4 Replace phase they replace you with a new target/victim before you’ve even packed your bags… They’re literally sleeping with someone new within hours as they can’t bear to be alone as it means they would have to self-reflect, something a BPD/Narc just won’t do. If covert BPD/Narc they may wipe all trace of your existence. If comorbid you can expect a mixture of the two tactics.Here’s a good article I read which seems to be more typical:“One of the most painful aspects of having loved a Borderline, is that after the affair's over, they appear to move on with their life as if you never mattered to them, and your nose is rubbed in it! Facebook or Instagram postings about their new partners or activities make it seem as if you've been obliterated from their memory and wiped off the face of the earth. If you're unlucky enough to see them out in public, they're acting flirty and jubilant (as if this break-up hasn't impacted them at all), while you're still licking your wounds, wondering how the hell you're gonna get through each day without him or her. This issue is two-fold; first, the Borderline has been dissociating from difficult feelings since they were very young (they're masterful at it)--and two, regardless of who left whom, they need to find immediate sources of ego gratification to soothe their emptiness and self-loathing--which you're not allowed to see, any more than when you were with them!This is their defense mechanism; it's not about You, so try not to personalize it”. However in reality we’re only human and it will hit you like a freight Train when you see how fast there’re in bed with someone new… when only hours before you were planning your future, family and life together.Simple Real life example: Borderlines have a rather shocking ability to do an instant emotional reboot, similar to turning off your pc and rebooting it clean to start fresh. For a non Cluster B the closest example is when you are casually dating someone with no emotional connection. Once you breakup you can start dating again almost immediately. Borderlines are able to do with any kind of relationship including marraige. I saw this in a microcosm when my BPD Queen ran over her family dog Molly. I got one phone call with a voice mail immediately after where my ex was very upset. When I saw her after work a few hours later she has wiped all trace of the event and refused to discuss it with me ever.SHELL-SHOCKED! Clearing the Fallout from a Borderline Break-upBut it doesn’t end there. Sooner rather than later their new fantasy relationship unravel’s and then you can expect the following:Hoovering (The challenge of sucking you back in when their craving for distraction from empty feelings erupts).Dosing (Telling you everything they think you want to hear, which presents as a mini version of the phase 1 lovebombing stage)7 Types of Hoovers and How to Powerfully Respond - Let Me Reach with Kim SaeedNote these have nothing to do with saving the relationship and everything to do with the high energy levels (Proximate Energy) generated in a Trauma Bonded relationship which they desperately miss feeding off and can’t get from their new supply. An emotionally healthy person can handle things when the honeymoon phase of a relationship ends, by either ending the relationship or allowing it to develop into something deeper. A Cluster B can’t and has to derive that same energy from positive (Cheating) or negative (Drama) sources. This is why we label them emotional Vampires as its the only description that accurately describes their behaviour.Why Does My Partner Blow Hot & Cold?Fuel Filled ThoughtsI had a year of hoovering and dosing before my BPD/Narc realised I had finally set a boundary she couldn't break (Get help or stay away), and once she realised she wasn’t going to get any more narcissistic supply from me she stopped trying.Simple Real life example: My BPD/Narc came back hoovering and dosing several times over the first year of our breakup, pretending she really loved me and wanted to fix things but I was getting BPD/Narc councilling and my councillor predicted everything my BPD would do to hoover me back! Instead I tested my ex with small things like asking if she had gone for councilling as we had both agreed to do and if so giving her 5 minutes to text me the councillors name, as well as checking her online dating profiles only to find her online the same mornings she was pretending she wanted to make everything right again. Epic Fail each and every time time! Be especially careful at Christmas as they get swept up in the festive romantic energy and will try to hoover you back. If you take the bait you’ll be back to square one by February!Borderline Relationship Analysis:Anyone reading this who hasn’t experienced the BPD/Narcissist abuse cycle or the Fog must be thinking are you mad, weak or stupid beyond words for putting up with this and allowing this to happen.The truth is Falling in Love with a Borderline in the Phase 1 (Idealization) stage gives you all the dreamlike intensity of a First Love, a Twin Flame and a Hollywood Movie all rolled into one. It is physically, emotionally and spiritually intoxicating.The BPD/Narc can also be quite normal or neutral 50% of the time/ your dream partner 25% of the time and your worst nightmare 25% of the time. If they were monsters all the time it would be much easier to leave them, but they’re not!In my time with my BPD Queen, I laughed more loudly and loved more deeply than I ever had before. She mirrored me so exactly that even the way we laughed the same. This type of lovebombing and attribute mining leaves victims investing so much of themselves that you simply cannot imagine a life without them, which is why we stay in a Borderline relationship long after we realise our partner is toxic, and struggle for years to heal and move on afterwards.CRITICAL PUBLIC WARNING: The Primary target of Borderlines and other Cluster B’s will be people who have their own deep insecurities and have worked hard to overcome them. Weaker Personalities have little to offer them. Secure confident people have strong boundaries and will quickly drop them like a hot rock. So they quickly learn to identify victims who appear strong on the outside but actually soft on the inside (Relatively speaking). Be warned when they’re done with you they will have identified all your primary insecurities and amplified them 100 fold.I was at my strongest (or so I thought) when I met my BPD/Narc but there is simply no defence for those who dont know about these disorders, except realising when something is too good to be true.The red flags are always there right from the beginning but unless you have very strong boundaries and are aware of manipulative behaviours you’ll end up walking off the BPD cliff so keep in mind:Watch out for Red Flags, more than one, time to run!Realistically though everyone suffers from some of these… and some Red Flags can appear on the surface fairly innocent like my ex who was in her thirties but had never been in a long term relationship. The key here is to be aware of the red flags in the initial Phase 1 Idealization stage, and as they start piling up find the strength to run for the hills before the lovebombing has addicted you to the Narc/BPD.The "Red Flags of a Narcissist" Series - Thrive After AbuseHow much of this trainwreck is on me? / Why did this happen to me?“The most dangerous element you share with a Borderline, is poor self-worth. If you truly liked and respected yourself, you wouldn't be involved with a damaged, self-sabotaging individual who's toxic and hurtful to you.”Contrary to popular belief, you are not attracted to someone who's like your opposite sex parent (boys to their mothers, girls to their fathers). You're attracted to someone who's like the parent (of either gender) with whom you had the most difficulties or issues!Please check out the following podcast and try to read the three books below before you enter back into another serious relationship!Whitney Cummings - Find Your Calm - Tribe of MentorsAmazon.com: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: 20th Anniversary Edition (Audible Audio Edition): Harville Hendrix Ph.D., Jack Garrett, Macmillan Audio: Bookshttps://www.amazon.com/Passion-Trap-Right-Unbalanced-Relationship-ebook/dp/B003HGGI2S/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1527854686&sr=1-1&keywords=the+passion+traphttps://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1522786289&sr=1-1&keywords=marshall+rosenberg“It's crucial to understand that the partner or friend of a BPD individual is typically core-damaged in precisely the same ways a Borderline is. They share the same vibrational frequency since childhood, because they're core traumatized in the same ways. This is what initially magnitizes them to each other, and keeps them trying to 'get it right' with one another, against all odds.”Splitting, Splicing and Projection in BPD PersonalitiesThose old sayings, that water seeks its own level, and birds of a feather flock together are really true. We are in fact, magnitized to individuals who precisely match our own level of emotional development.And Someone who is truly emotionally available, doesn't remain involved with somebody who is not.Can you help your BPD Partner?Simple Answer: If the Borderline is not in treatment you must withdraw. It’s a Zero Sum game I’m afraid! One you can’t win and never could!But if they accept they need help then Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, pioneered by Marsha Linehan seems to be the one most recognised as getting the best results.. It focuses on the helpful skill sets of Mindfulness, Interpersonal Relationships, Emotional Regulation and Distress Tolerance.However trying to help a Borderline/Narc/Narcopath who’s in denial is 100% futile and you will fail utterly, as everything that should be a strength (Empathy, Compassion, Compromise, Forgiveness, unconditional Love) become weaknesses the Narc will use against you!Simple Real Life Example: I remember telling my Borderline I was leaving the relationship unless we started agreeing to certain boundaries. I spent an entire evening with her going through Anthony Robbins relationship guide and coming up with very reasonable action steps to saving our relationship and getting us back to the “Good Times”. She lasted 1 day and then decided it didn’t suit her… I lasted another few months before finally calling time on the most destructive and painful experience of my life.Couples councilling only serves the BPD/Narc as they are expert manipulators and will only make you seem like the crazy one and they will learn even more ways to hurt you. They will also quit going as soon as the Doc/ therapist starts to catch on to the behaviors.Why Couples Counseling Rarely Works with Narcissistic and Borderline WomenNB: Regular councillors are completely ill equipped to deal with Cluster B’s. Look for ones trained in Narcissist abuse.If they won’t get help by themselves, for themselves then you must leave and implement FULL no contact. (No Exceptions.. no leaving one email address unblocked just in case… change your number, do whatever it takes to avoid the Hoovering/Dosing that will add so much to your breakup anguish and pain.The “"No Contact” rule is CRITICALLY important for the victims survival but extremely difficult to implement as the victim has been conned into believing their toxic fake relationship was something so unique and special like a Twin Flame and is worth fighting for to the bitter end!Why No Contact is So Hard After an Abusive Relationship with a Narcissist, Borderline or PsychopathAnd the stories I read from people who were unlucky enough to have kids with one of them are truly truly heartbreaking. All they can hope for is to go Grey Rock (No Reaction), employ extreme modified contact and record every interaction for future court and police visits. When The Devil's The DefendantCustody Battles, Bowel Movements and Other Markers of Narcissistic, Borderline and Psychopathic ParentsLegal Support Service: Been There Got outBook: Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship - Kindle edition by Christine Ann Lawson. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.Remember: Cluster B’s never marry for better or worse.They only marry for better!Can your BPD Partner control their behaviour?I’ve read many posts where the Narcs/Bpd’s pretend they can’t control their actions and deserve empathy as a result. In my experience I have found they can control their impulses they just choose not to. My ex was able to behave like a normal girl when around her own family or mine even over extended periods but when she didn’t have to be on her guard she was only too happy to let herself go and disgrace both herself and me in the process. There was no (BPD) Splitting on weekends away with her family or mine, no acts of (NPD) cruelty, and no throwing herself (Histrionically) at every man in the room when her own siblings or mine were present. Which leads to the question of:RespectThis could be a key factor and one that I haven’t seen researched. The grim reality is that it’s possible to love someone and not respect them. I faced this myself when several years ago I dated a codependent and turned over a period of years from a doting boyfriend into a complete asshole. She couldn’t operate independently and though I loved her I couldn’t respect her. I found that I had turned into a “Walking on Eggshells” Narc myself. I knew this wasn’t the real me and I forced the relationship to end to save both her and myself.But with my BPD/Narc ex I was the complete opposite: devoted, loyal and loving!Which leads me to the question does your choice of partner actually contribute or even cause Narcissistic Abuse? And is Narcissist/BPD abuse more likely to happen only with people the Narc/BPD deem less than them in looks/career/Social Status? Do they realise subconsciously their condition means they can’t attract or maintain a relationship with someone on their looks/Career/Social Status “Level” so they choose a target below them in some area and later become resentful with their choice and so begins the Narc Abuse Cycle?Or does it happen regardless? E.g. If I was tall dark and handsome with a top job would I have faced the BPD onslaught from my ex anyway?Recovery:Firstly some difficult but necessary words of wisdom from Will Smith:Surviving a Break-up when Your Partner has Borderline Personality”There are certain very complex dynamics at work in a BPD breakup that can make this experience literally traumatic. These breakups are often described as a complete blindside with no possibility of closure.Much of the healing for men after a BPD breakup involves understanding the negative aspects of their partner’s behavior. But in order for a man to heal from the longing to get back those good feelings it is very important that he understand the profound effects her positive behavior had on him as well”.nicolamethodforhighconflict.com/ex-girlfriend-bpd-good-timesPerhaps the main reason I take such a harsh view of the Cluster B’s is because they just click their fingers and start again, while their victims enter of world of PTSD or complex PTSD where they spend years trying to:a.) Understand and Process the horror of what happened to them with no hope of ever getting closure,b.) Try desperately to forgive themselves for allowing this to happen,c.) Swim round and round in circles because you still love the narc with all your heart and even though you know he/she was the most dishonest, disloyal and deceitful person to ever come into your life.d.) Try to regain some portion of who they were before they had their souls and hearts sucked dry.e.) In a bizarre twist victims often experience aspects of their BPD/Narcs toxic shame even though the abuser feels none whatsoever and remains always the victim.f.) The very worst thing about having loved a Borderline, is that when the relationship's over, you haven't just lost them--you've lost yourself. It's impossible to hold onto You, when you're involved with a borderline or Narcissist disordered individual.Top Recovery Tips:Therapy is a must if you’ve been put through the Narc Abuse Cycle.No Contact is a must if you are to start recovery!Meditation will be a HUGE help in holding yourself together especially during those first few months. Any form will do but my favourite are nature based meditations eg: Magical Meditations - Celtic WhispersYou may get support from your family but just as likely you will not as they have become Flying Monkeys: People, including friends, family, coworkers, and their children that the BPD/Narc has conned into believing that they are the victim in whatever situation that they have created, when in fact they are really the perpetrator. Release the Flying Monkeys!Join Support Groups like: Thrive After Abuse and Home - Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed and SHELL-SHOCKED! Clearing the Fallout from a Borderline Break-up and Helping family members & loved-ones, DATING HARLEY QUINN, and https://fromsurviving2thriving.com/, and Overcoming Narcissism and Abuse in Relationships to Create the Life You Want, Shrink4Men, and Techniques That Stop High Conflict BehaviorTry not to go past 6–12 months on Narc forums etc. or you can get bogged down and it will impede your recovery. This will be difficult as not only is it the last link to what you thought was your Twin Flame/Soul Mate, but it’s also your last link to the old you that is gone and for better or worse won’t be coming back. Nevertheless you must set a closing date or risk analysis paralysis!Remember most BPD/Narcs live their lives in complete denial destroying victim after victim after victim. The ones that appear on forums are the minority who become self aware and may be getting help, or they may just have run out of Narc Supply where they live and need to feed. Many will engage in “Blameshifting” and will try to revictimise you pretending that the bad ones are the minority, and that you’re just a bitter ex. Stand your ground as we victims are finally starting to spread the word about these spiritual and emotional rapists. But don’t forget to give all respect and empathy to the ones who realise the horror of what they do and try to change. They are truly admirable.The best thing you can do is to live your life as fully as you can. I have heard a new relationship with a non Cluster B can start dismantling the psychic Trauma Bonds they hold over you.And Never get involved with someone who has more problems than you! :)Conclusion:My last text to my Borderline Queen was Rhett Butlers final line:"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" from Gone with the Wind…I told her I’d exhausted myself in every way possible trying to help her and love her and that it was now up to herself to find her own healing, and if she does she can find her way back to me.But don’t worry I won’t be holding my breath because:Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship! John Lennon was unfortunately very wrong in this regard.You cannot change or fix someone else. You can only change yourself!You can never help someone who doesn't want to be helped!You are their partner, not their therapist!It will always be someone else's fault!They don't change! (Only a very small minority!)My last word and this is for all the Cluster B’s out there:“Decent, honest, kind, loving, supportive, and loyal people are NOT responsible for all your pain!So either get help and warn your partner so they have a chance to defend themselves or STAY AWAY from Romantic Relationships!”

15 Tips for Setting Up WordPress Like a Pro1. Complete basic information about your blogYour blog’s got a name, right? Probably a tagline too?Fill those in right away…Navigate to Settings > GeneralAt the top of the page, you’ll see an area for the Site Title and Tagline. These may already be populated using the information you entered during setup. If they are and you’re happy with them, move on to the next section. If they’re empty or you want to change them, go ahead and do that.WordPress General SettingsMost WordPress themes display the title and tagline on your site, usually in the top left corner (as you look at the screen). The Site Title nearly always contains a link pointing to your homepage.The third area, WordPress Address (URL) is the address of your site.Google treats Home and Home as different sites, so be sure to choose the one you like, and use that one whenever you mention your site (email signatures, outreach emails, links from other sites pointing to your pages).The choice between using www and non-www is down to personal preference. Neither gives advantage over the other when it comes to ranking high in search engines. Loren Baker explains more in his article on Search Engine Journal: Canonicalization & SEO : Should I use WWW or not?2. Install a theme that suits the purpose of your blogWordPress comes packaged with three default themes. Upon installation, the latest theme, Twenty Seventeen activates.Default WordPress ThemesFor some people, one of the default themes is good enough.For many more, the first thing they do is look around for a more suitable alternative – one that suits their style, taste, and goals.If you’re blogging for business, a premium theme could be a better option than a free one.They usually contain more features, offer 24/7 support and they’re designed by professional designers and coded by professional coders.This gives you a great looking blog for a fraction of the cost of hiring a professional web designer.There is a chance of coming across a site that looks exactly like yours, but that could happen with a free theme too.Due to the size of the web, the chances of this happening are small. And perhaps a risk worth taking for a great looking site.If you go down the premium route, expect to pay $40 – $150 to get started (you may also need to buy a framework, like the one I mostly use: Genesis).Recommended premium WordPress theme shopsStudioPressWooThemesElegant Themes3. Change the Permalink StructureThe permalink is the web address assigned to every post and page you publish (the URL).The default WordPress permalink doesn’t prevent the indexing or ranking of pages. It’s just a bit, well, ugly and uninformative.This is what it looks like: HomeThe structure of the URL gives away no information about the content of the page. You can’t tell if it’s about baking or scuba diving.It’s not a complete disaster.In the search results, Google shows the title tag and either the meta description or some content from the page. So people will have an idea what your page is about.Changing the permalink structure is simple and provides a much-improved user experience.WARNING!!If not correctly managed, changing the permalink structure on an established site can result in a massive loss of traffic. To prevent this, all URLs should be configured to redirect users to the new URLs.This is usually done using 301 or 302 redirects.It can be done manually through cPanel or a .htaccess file, or by using a plugin (like Redirection).Please research the topic before changing the permalink structure on an established site.If your site is brand new, you can go ahead and change the permalink structure without worrying about losing traffic.How to change WordPress permalinks:Log in as an AdministratorFrom the menu on the left-hand side of the screen, click on Settings then PermalinksTick the radio button next to your preferred format (as you click through the various options, the information in the Custom Structure text box changes)When you’re happy, click on Save ChangesWordPress permalinks post nameThe example above uses the postname (post title) for the permalink. The example below uses the category/postname format for the permalink.WordPress permalinks using category post name structure4. Delete the default contentHave you ever seen the ‘Hello world!’ post on a brand new WordPress site?Just in case you haven’t, this is what it looks like:Hello World!It’s the default post and should be moved to the trash straight away.Trash Default PostSo to the default comment:Default CommentTrash Default CommentAnd finally, get rid of the default sample page:Default Sample PageTrash Default Page5. Install a backup pluginImagine losing your site after you’ve spent the whole weekend adding great content, uploading images and making it look amazing.You’d be devastated, right?Imagine losing a week’s, a month’s or even a whole year’s worth of work because you failed to create a backup.Boy, that would tough. It would be hard to start again if that happened.Luckily, there are services and plugins to help you avoid this terrible situation.VaultPressI’ve used the free plugins to create backups but, in my experience, if you’re not very technical, they are a nightmare to use if something when something goes wrong with your site.Last time I used one of the free backup plugins they typically had two options for managing the database backup file: 1) emailing it to a nominated address or 2) storing it on the server.Which is fine. At least you know where it is.But how do you get it back into WordPress?You can’t FTP it.You have to go in through cPanel, phpMyAdmin and then upload it. You’ll find instructions here.It looks easy ‘on paper’, but when you see the phpMyAdmin screen, the process becomes more daunting.A push-button solution is better. One that guides you through the setup, backup and restore process in easy-to-understand steps.That’s what you get with VaultPress. A backup plugin I’ve used for a couple of years now.The basic plan costs an easily affordable $5 per month.It’s ideal for anyone who doesn’t want to get involved with the technical stuff and wants to sleep easily at night knowing their blog is in good hands.Before installing a backup plugin, check with your hosting company as they may provide a backup as part of the service.Alternative backup plugins and servicesblogVaultBackUpBuddyBackWPupBackUpWordPressUpdraftPlusDuplicatorWP-DB-Backup6. Install an SEO pluginWordPress has no built-in SEO settings, so you must install a dedicated plugin.At least two do an excellent job.The first is All-In-One SEO, which dominated the space for a very long time.All In One SEO Pack WordPress PlugnDownload linkThen there’s WordPress SEO, which is currently more popular than any similar plugin.WordPress SEO by YoastDownload linkWhich should you choose?WordPress SEO, in my opinion, is the best plugin of the two.It has more features and gives you more control over settings on a site-wide and page-by-page basis, but it is quite hard to setup if you don’t understand the terminology.All In One SEO is better suited to people who have little or no knowledge of SEO and want to use a plugin ‘out of the box’.What do other people think?Both plugins currently run on over one million WordPress sites.In terms of 5-star ratings, WordPress SEO is the clear winner.WordPress SEO Plugin RatingsAll In One SEO Pack RatingsA post on the Elegant Themes blog takes an in-depth look at both plugins.So, which should you choose?Answer – The one you prefer using.If you’re new to SEO, start with All In One SEO Pack (you can always move over to WordPress SEO later, and import the settings from All In One). If you know your way around custom title tags, noindexing and noodping, choose WordPress SEO as you’ll prefer the tighter control.7. Install a caching pluginWordPress is renowned for being slow. For this reason many WordPress users install a caching plugin.It’s hard to explain without using technical terms and jargon…WordPress uses a language called PHP to build pages. It stores all the data such as images, content, links etc in a database.Whenever somebody requests a page from your site, WordPress builds it. Every time.Sometimes, this takes a few seconds and depends upon a number of factors such as the configuration of the server, its location in relation to the site visitor and the number of requests WordPress makes to the database at that time.It all happens very quickly, but sometimes it’s not quick enough for the average internet user. And if your pages don’t load in super-quick time, you may lose a potential customer.A caching plugin bypasses the calls to the database and creates HTML versions of your pages, stores them on the server and displays them to the visitor when requested. This cuts down the load time and improves the user experience.Just like the SEO plugins mentioned earlier, there’s a couple of really popular caching plugins which have been around for years. If you don’t know how these things work, it’s best sticking with the tried and tested over the new and unexplored.The two most popular caching plugins are:WP Super CacheWP Super CacheDownload linkW3 Total CacheW3 Total CacheDownload linkBoth plugins do an excellent job but the settings and terminology could confuse you if you’re not totally into server settings and suchlike. If this is you (and I include myself here), the default settings should be good enough.8. Delete the admin userThe default WordPress username is admin. Most hackers know this.They also know the average user doesn’t understand the need to switch to an alternative.Using software and sometimes multiple computers, hackers find your login page and try to gain access to your site using the admin username and a variety of dictionary words for the password.To better protect your site, delete the admin user and assign all posts accredited to admin (if you have any) to a different user.Then, delete the admin user.Here’s how you do it:Step 1 – Create a new user accountIn the left-side menu navigate to Users and click on Add New.You will see a screen like this:Add New WordPress UserNow follow these 4 steps:Think of a username and enter it into the username field. The username cannot be changed.Enter the email address for the user. WordPress uses the email address to send password reminders and contact the user (one email address per user).Enter a new password.Change Subscriber to Administrator so the new account has full control.Next, delete the admin user and switch posts to the new accountNow you have created the new account, log out of WordPress and log back in using the new details.Navigate to the Users screen via the left side menu.If you only have two users the list looks something like this:New WordPress UserTo find the delete button, hover your mouse under the username. As you do this, a couple of links show up.Delete AdminClick on the Delete link to remove the admin account.The option to switch all posts appears on the next screen.As we want to re-assign the posts, click the radio button next to that option and use the pull-down menu to choose the account to which you want to assign the posts.Confirm User DeletionNow hit the Confirm Deletion button and the account is gone, with all posts assigned to the new user.About passwordsA Lifehacker post from 2011 makes the argument for using common phrases as passwords instead of “complete gibberish”, as they take longer to crack.The point of the article is that a phrase like “this is fun” (including spaces) is more difficult to guess than ‘dictionary word’ or a password made up of a group of letters and numbers, and it’s easier to remember.It sounds crazy, but according to How Secure Is My Password?, which tests the strength of a password, it’s true.To find out how secure your password is, type it into the site and watch the data change.In the WordPress scenario, the hacker typically knows the username (admin), the URL of the login page (if WordPress is installed in the root directory), so all that’s left is the password.Here are the results of a few passwords I tested.t1m3tabl3 – 7 hourswimfsiltc*** – 178 yearsiutla164*!” – 1,000 yearsi!love!winter – 7,000 yearsi love winter (spaces included) – 24,000 yearsAs you can see, simple phrases take a heck of time to guess using a desktop PC and software.We’re never going to need a password for 24,000 years. At the other end of the scale, using a password that takes just seven hours to crack is very risky.If you’re struggling to think of a password, try using a password generator tool like this one.9. Activate the Akismet plugin(NB You only need Akismet if you use posts on your site, which you will if you’re blogging. If you only use pages, you needn’t worry about this plugin, as the comment system is inactive.)Akismet is a free plugin bundled with WordPress. It protects your site from comment spam through a quite successful filtering process.It doesn’t stop every spam comment, but it stops most of them.In default mode, WordPress comments stay open forever. You can choose to switch them off or close them after a set amount of days after publication.Navigate to Settings > Discussion to make changes.To disable comments, untick the box next to ‘Allow people to post comments on new articles’.Disable WordPress CommentsTo close comments after a set number of days, tick the box ‘Automatically close comments on articles older than’ and change the number of days accordingly.Close WordPress CommentsTo put this into perspective, I recently closed comments on a client’s site which received 1500 spam comments a day (when I got to it, there were 28,000!). He never changed the default settings so his site was open to spam comments on every single post, some of which were a few years old.Activate Akismet from inside WordPress and follow the on-screen instructions.Activate AkismetActivate Akistmet AccountTo get it working you need an API key.Akismet API KeyClicking the blue button takes you to the Akismet site, where you must register for the API key.Get Akismet APIRegister AkismetIf you already have a WordPress.com: Create a Free Website or Blog account, click the link and log in with those credentials. If you don’t already have a WordPress.com: Create a Free Website or Blog account, create one and log in.Eventually you reach the Select a Plan page. Make your choice.Akismet Choose a PlanThe next screen asks for your payment details. Akismet is free for personal use (move the payment slider) on unlimited non-commercial sites.Akismet Payment DetailsAkismet API KeyNow you have the API key, head back to your site and copy and paste it into the API key field.Use Akismet API KeyIn case you’re wondering where all the comments come from, I’ll tell you…spammers and software.They’re typically looking for backlinks. So they send out endless comments knowing a percentage of them will be approved and published on the target sites.10. Install Google AnalyticsGoogle Analytics is the industry standard for tracking website visitors. Of course it shows you how many people visit your site, but it gives you a whole load of other information too.Here are a few examples:How long people stay on your siteHow many pages they visitWhich pages they land onWhich pages they leave byThe keywords people use to find your site (this data is usually very limited because Google doesn’t share it if the person searching is logged into their Google account at time of the search)The devices people use including desktops/laptops/mobile devicesTheir geographic locationIf you use AdSense on your site, you can link Analytics to AdSense to see which pages generate revenueIf you use PPC you can link Analytics to AdWords to track how visitors clicking your ads engage with your siteTrack conversionsThe number of people active on your site in real-timeThere are two stages to adding Google Analytics to your site. First, if you don’t already have one, you must create a Google account.Go to Analytics Tools & Solutions for Your Business - Google AnalyticsIf you already have a Google account, click on Sign in.If you don’t have a Google account, click on Create an account.Create Google Analytics AccountWhichever of the two links you click on, you see this page:Create Google AccountEnter your Google login information or click on Create an account. If you are creating an account, complete the online form, which currently looks like this:Create Google Account FormOnce you have created your account, or if you already have one, log into Google.You will see a page like the one below, to create your Google Analytics account, click on Sign up.Sign Up Google AnalyticsOn the next screen you enter information about your site and your location. Complete each section of the form, and untick any of the sharing boxes you disagree with, then click on Get Tracking ID to get your code.New Analytics accountYou will see a screen asking to you agree to the terms of service. If you are not in the United States, change the country option to match your own, then click on I Accept.Agree TermsNow, copy the tracking code (highlighted red on this screenshot) by clicking in the box on your browser. Use Ctrl + C or whichever shortcut you prefer, to copy and paste (Ctrl + V) it into your website.Tracking CodeOnce you have the tracking code you must place it in your site. Google recommends placing the code in the header section, which sounds scarier than it is.Some themes have special areas for Analytics and other scripts.Check yours, if you don’t see one, try using a dedicated plugin like Insert Headers and Footers, which you can download here – or through your site.When you have the plugin installed and activated, navigate to the options page: Settings > Insert Headers and Footers and place the tracking code in the area under Scripts in Header.If it’s correctly set up, it will look like this:Insert Headers and FootersHit save and you’re done.It can take up to 24 hours for Google to start showing data, so don’t worry if you don’t see anything straight away.If you want to use a plugin to handle this, check out Google Analytics for WordPress.11. Add a contact formYou need a contact form so people can get in touch with you.There are a few options to choose from.My favourite is Contact Form 7 because it’s simple and easy to use.Contact Form 7The default form is good enough to get started. And it’s fairly easy to create your own forms by adding extra fields.To create a contact page:Create a new pageCopy the shortcode created by Contact Form 7Paste it into your new pageWrite a few words encouraging people to contact you and when they should expect to hear from youHit publishYou now have a contact page.The default form looks like this.Contact Form 7 Default FormThe styling comes from the Twenty Fourteen theme (one of the default themes). So, it will look different on your site if you use a different theme.Download link12. Install essential pluginsNow you’ve done all the hard work and got everything setup, it’s time to have some ‘fun’ with plugins.Plugins add extra additional functionality to a WordPress site. Without them your site will function, but the user experience will fall a long way short of what’s expected from modern blogs and websites.For example, there’s no contact form in a default WordPress installation. You need a plugin for that (see above). There’s no social sharing buttons either.Everybody has their own list of essential plugins. If you Google that phrase you’ll find all sorts of lists featuring all sorts of plugins.Essential WordPress PluginsVery often you’ll see the staples: SEO, contact forms, share buttons, sitemaps.Once you get past those, try taking a smarter approach and consider the purpose of your site. When you know that, you can track down the plugins to add the functionality you need.For example, photographers will want to display their work in a professional manner, so the NextGen Gallery plugin is an option. They may also want to use a plugin for sharing photos on Pinterest.Anyone selling digital products such as eBooks might want to install an e-commerce or payment plugin.And if you want to add a membership area for paying subscribers, you will need a plugin for that too.As you can see, plugins are essential, but don’t go overboard. Avoid anything gimmicky and stick to the ones you need. Some plugins use a lot of server resources, which impacts the performance of your site.The ones you must install help your pages rank on Google (WordPress SEO), improve loading time (WP Cache), catch spam comments (Akismet) and help people get in touch with you (Contact Form 7)13. Tighten up securityOnce hackers find your site, they’ll make it a target and try to gain access through the login page, out of date plugins/themes and other vulnerable areas.Why is the login page such an easy target? Because most people don’t change the default username from admin to something more difficult to guess.This is a big mistake.But you’d only know it’s a problem if you spent time looking into WordPress security issues or came across a story somewhere.Aside from the admin user issue, there are other things to think about.Take a look at this video.Introduction to Falcon Engine by Wordfence from Mark Maunder on Vimeo.Once you’ve done that, install a security plugin such as iThemes Security, Wordfence or Sucuri.14. Create legal pagesIt’s good to have some legal information on your site – privacy policy, terms of use, terms and conditions.You are best using pages (not posts) to create these for reasons explained here.What goes into these documents depends upon the nature of your site and your geographic location. There are plenty of sites offering legal documentation so a quick search should give you something.In some cases you may have to see a lawyer to have documents drawn up specifically for your site. Before doing that, visit SEQ Legal, which offers a ton of documents you may be able to use.15. Block or allow search enginesFinally, now you’ve set up your blog, do you want the search engines to read it straight away or do you want to add some content first?It’s your choice.The default installation of WordPress allows search engines to reach and index your posts and pages. You can block search engines reading your content until the site is ready, here’s how to do it:Navigate to Settings > Privacy > and click Ask search engines not to index this site.A word of caution – don’t forget to change this when you’re ready for search engines to index your content!

Yes. Tel a vision is what a television is all about: mind control. Here is documentation to support your belief that television is a waste of time and the most intensive form of conditioning ever created. You sound very intelligent so I will provide you with proof to support your theory. Some of the research below is from the book – Brainwashing: How The British Use The Media for Mass Psychological Warfare by L. Wolfe and my friend Alex Ansury.Mass Mind Control Through Network Television: Are Your Thoughts Your Own?Why do countless American people go along with the War on Iraq? Why do so many people call for a police state control grid? A major component to a full understanding of why this kind of governmental and corporate corruption is to discover the modern science of mind control and social engineering. It's baffling to merely glance at the stacks of documentation that this world government isn't being constructed for the greater good of humanity. Although there are a growing number of people waking up the reality of our growing transparent soft cage, there seems to be just enough citizens who are choosing to remain asleep. Worse yet, there are even those who were at least partially awake at one time but found it necessary to return to the slumber of dreamland.This is no accident; this is a carefully crafted design. The drive to dumb down the populations of planet earth is a classic art that existed before the United States did. One component to understanding and deciphering the systems of control is to become a student of the magicians of influence and propaganda. In order to defeat our enemies (or dictators), its imperative that we understand how they think and what they believe in.Schooling plays a big role in programming the population, but the most potent and prevalent educational tools are the mass media. These are devised to reach a large audience via the broadcasting of information through natural means (spoken or written language, posters) or technological ones (radio, television, cinema, the Internet). With time, the elite has come to control all the important mass media outlets and are now able to dictate their contents.The trick is easy. All the elite need to do is repeat the same simplistic lies in all the media and the population will believe them without a doubt. This is how lies acquire an irresistible aura of credibility. A specialist of mass brainwashing, L. Wolfe, explains it further:“As Tavistock’s researchers showed, it was important that the victims of mass brainwashing not be aware that their environment was being controlled; there should thus be a vast number of sources for information, whose messages could be varied slightly, so as to mask the sense of external control.”Wolfe specified that the contents had to be entertaining and leave the impression that the person always had the choice between various messages and sources. Therefore, the same repetitive information remains hidden behind different and appealing guises.TavistockAround 1920, theTavistock Institute became the center for the study of human behavior, mind control, propaganda, and social manipulation. Created in London, it spread overseas with the financial help of the Rockefeller Foundation. Its influence increased when it combined the study of anthropology, economy, organizations, politics, psychology, psychoanalysis, psychiatry, and sociology. For example, Tavistock organized social phenomena such as the hippie counterculture and the use of mind-altering drugs. Its primary objectives were and still remain the organization of cultural changes through the imposition of chaos and the occult manipulation of special groups. With a 2012 budget of around 6 billion USD, it is now made up of 10 institutions, 400 subsidiary companies, and 3,000 study groups. In secret, Tavistock guides powerful multinationals such as the Rand Corp. (media, politics, commerce, health, education, defense), the Mitre Corp. (defense, revenue, national security), the Stanford and Hudson Institutes,After 90 years of research, Tavistock’s main discovery concerns child sexuality. This has a great influence on the development of personality. Early sex stimulation produces adults whose emotional development is similar to that of a neurotic child. Their second discovery is related to stress. Tavistock researchers found out that people under controlled stress became more infantile and gave up strongly held beliefs undergroup pressure to conform to popular opinion. That explains why the mass media insist so much on sex, violence, and fear-inducing messages. We are being turned into scared, submissive children who try to evade the stress of daily life through emotional masturbation – television, radio, CDs, DVDs, movies, andvideo games.TelevisionWesterners spend four plus hours a day, the equivalent of two months a year, or nine years in a lifetime, being hypnotized by a television screen without being conscious of the effects this activity has on them. They have nearly stopped interacting with friends, neighbors, community, and even family. Their free time is spent in imaginary relationships with fictitious characters on the screen.A few US statistics will show us the extent of the phenomenon: 99 % of households own at least one TV; there are 2.24 TVs per family; the television remains open 7 hours a day; 66 % eat in front of their television sets. The addiction starts right after birth, since 30% of kids who are 0 to 1 year old and 47 % of the 5 to 8 year-olds have televisions in their rooms. A typical US child spends 3.5 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with a parent, but 1680 minutes per week in front of TV. Is this why television is called the “one-eyed babysitter”? By the time they are 65, most people have seen 2,000,000 TV ads. This phenomenon is becoming global.The entire population of earth has become addicted to television. If one decides to quit the TV habit, they experience psychological withdrawal symptoms that can be as severe as those related to drug or alcohol abuse. There is a direct relationship between child obesity – which is severe for 11% of 6 to 17 year olds in US – and advertisements, since the most popular types of commercials are related to junk food. A study counted more than 200 junk food ads during four hours of cartoons on Saturday morning television in the US. When compared with radio listening, television is more impactful because there are pictures. The more there are to accompany a special news report, the more tangible it will seem and the lesser the chance of people questioning its accuracy. Media expert Hal Becker once said:“I know the secret of making the average American believe anything I want him to. Just let me control television… You put something on the television and it becomes reality. If the world outside the TV set contradicts the images, people start trying to change the world to make it like the TV set images.”How is it that the elite have been so successful in achieving full control of television programming? Through the assistance of government. Politicians vote and impose laws that favor large TV stations over smaller ones and make it difficult for independent ideas to reach the airwaves. Better yet, most countries have their own sanitized State television stations.Mass Hypnosis and Mass ViolenceTavistock hastened to study the effects of television on human behavior as early as the 1940’s. Its researchers discovered that 30 seconds after one starts watching TV, the brain automatically begins to produce alpha waves, a modified state of consciousness. The viewer goes into a trance-like mode, a type of light hypnosis. All their attention becomes concentrated on the screen, while the rest of their environment is ignored. In this semi-conscious state, they become highly susceptible to the messages contained in the programs, especially the commercials, which are created especially for that purpose.Television started becoming popular in the fifties, and the elite have now accumulated more than 60 years of experience spread over three generations of viewers. The results are staggering. People are no longer logical, as their opinions and ideas come directly from television. The images validate what they hear. This filter of tele-opinions gets automatically superimposed over their daily reality, and have become passive members of a plugged-in society, and can no longer think, talk, or write logically. For them, images and knowledge are synonymous.In Europe, violence on television is as critical as in America. Specialized stations such as Baby TV and Baby First broadcast programs for babies 24/7. When toddlers are one year old, they are already watching at least one hour of television a day. Statistics from 1988 showed that during one week of TV watching, viewers witness 670 murders, 15 rapes, 848 fights, 419 shootings or explosions, 11 armed robberies, 8 suicides, 32 hostage takings, 27 torture scenes, 9 defenestrations, 13 strangulations, and 11 war scenes. Nowadays, these types of events are not reserved to late hours. For example, Quebec’s popular TQS station presented the movie Terminator at 6:30 pm – just in time for kids.And it’s Getting Worse!Ever heard of Silent Sound Spread Spectrum or SSSS? It is a secret Pentagon psychotronic technology that has been operational since 1990. In 1991, it was used during the first Gulf War to manipulate Iraqi troops into surrendering en masse. Like compliant children, 200,000 men came out of their desert bunkers and fell to their knees before approaching US troops.The SSSS is now available in your neighborhood – free of charge. It is carried to your brain with the use of several technologies, including chemtrails, cell towers and high definition digital television (HD-TV). In this way, the elite is aiming for total mind control to insure the compliance of its sheeple. Now you know why the government was so enthusiastic about letting us get digital converter boxes for a cheap price, becaue they want us to have access to high-quality television images.Big Brother goes even further with digital streaming video that allows any person with a personal computer linked to the Internet to access and watch popular television programs. This is available for free through companies such as Hulu. In this way, computer monitors and HD-TV screens broadcast SSSS and combine it with subliminally-pulsed images to bring about specific emotions and physical responses to all listeners or a selected type of DNA (Blacks, Orientals, women, etc.). If the elite has a sample of a person’s DNA, it can even target selected individuals. Experimentation has shown that it is effective – with varying levels of efficiency – with about 85% of the population, while the remaining 15% seem to be immune to such mind control attempts.What Should We Do?What should we do now that we know? Well, truth is useless if we do not change our actions.Number one: throw out the television. Even without this new mind-control technology, the television has always been a “box of lies.” Watching TV lowers one’s intelligence, and many statistics are there to prove it. Forget the “good educational shows” that are simply there to misinform you.Number two: limit the time you spend in front of the computer and on the internet, and never watch TV shows from the Internet.Number three: avoid other sources of do not use cell phones (whether ‘smart’ or not). Basically, it is like putting your head in the microwave oven and pushing the ‘ON’ button. It is difficult to avoid chemtrails, but living a TV-free and cellphone-free life is possible – you get so much more time to read, think (for yourself), meditate, exercise, cook, and keep good company.The elite have hijacked our brains with their technology, but we still have our free will. We can choose to use it or not to use it. Which one will you choose?When people think about mind control, they usually think in terms of the classic "conspiracy theory" that refers to Project MkUltra. This program is a proven example of 'overt mind control.' The project had grown out of an earlier secret program, known as Bluebird that was officially formed to counter Soviet advances in brainwashing. In reality the CIA had other objectives. An earlier aim was to study methods 'through which control of an individual may be attained'. The emphasis of experimentation was 'narco-hypnosis', the blending of mind altering drugs with carefully hypnotic programming.A crack CIA team was formed that could travel, at a moments notice, to anywhere in the world. Their task was to test the new interrogation techniques, and ensure that victims would not remember being interrogated and programmed. All manner of narcotics, from marijuana to LSD, heroin and sodium pentathol (the so called 'truth drug') were regularly used.Despite poor initial results, CIA-sponsored mind control program flourished. On 13 April 1953, the super-secret project MK-ULTRA was born. Its scope was broader than ever before, and only those in the top echelon of the CIA were privy to it. Official CIA documents describe MK-ULTRA as an 'umbrella project' with 149 'sub-projects'. Many of these sub-projects dealt with testing illegal drugs for potential field use. Others dealt with electronics. One explored the possibility of activating 'the human organism by remote control'. Throughout, it remained a major goal to brainwash individuals to become couriers and spies without their knowledge.When it was formed in 1947, the CIA was forbidden to have any domestic police or internal security powers. In short, it was authorized only to operate 'overseas'. From the very start MK-ULTRA staff broke this Congressional stipulation and began testing on unwitting American citizens.Precisely how extensive illegal testing became will never be known. Richard Helms, CIA Director and chief architect of the program, ordered the destruction of all MK-ULTRA records shortly before leaving office in 1973. Despite these precautions some documents were misfiled and came to light in the late 1970's. They laid bare the spy agency's cynicism. Despite the widespread knowledge of MK Ultra and the civil lawsuits that followed, this form of behavior modification is not the most expansive. The real dangers are the types of thought control that are 'covert' and not the subject of several dozen Hollywood movies like "Clockwork Orange" and Mel Gibson's "Conspiracy Theory."Our founding fathers faced enormous challenges in the formation of this country and its bill of rights. One challenge was laying down the groundwork or a free society without knowing what kind of technological advances would be made. Who would have guessed in those times that we needed an article in the bill of rights that specifically prohibits the government and it's associates from engaged in mind control or thought control. The closest item that promises our protection from the government is the 4th Article in The Bill of Rights which states, "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized." Like many are now beginning to note, the US Constitution and its Bill of Rights are merely given lip service by our supposedly elected officials.One of the most common examples of mind control in our so-called free and civilized society is the advent and usage of the television set. This isn't to say that all things on TV are geared towards brainwashing you. They're not. But most of the programming on television today is run and programming by the largest media corporations that have interests in defense contracts, such as Westinghouse (CBS), and General Electric (NBC). This makes perfect sense when you see how slanted and warped the news is today. Examining the conflicts of interest is merely glancing at the issue, although to understand the multiple ways that lies become truth, we need to examine the techniques of brain washing that the networks are employing.Radio isn't any different in its ability to brainwash a population into submission. Sixty-seven years ago, six million Americans became unwitting subjects in an experiment in psychological warfare. It was the night before Halloween, 1938. At 8 p.m. CST, the Mercury Radio on the Air began broadcasting Orson Welles' radio adaptation of H. G. Wells' War of the Worlds. As is now well known, the story was presented as if it were breaking news, with bulletins so realistic that an estimated one million people believed the world was actually under attack by Martians. Of that number, thousands succumbed to outright panic, not waiting to hear Welles' explanation at the end of the program that it had all been a Halloween prank, but fleeing into the night to escape the alien invaders.According to researcher Mack White ( Mack White), "Psychologist Hadley Cantril conducted a study of the effects of the broadcast and published his findings in a book, The Invasion from Mars: A Study in the Psychology of Panic. This study explored the power of broadcast media, particularly as it relates to the suggestibility of human beings under the influence of fear. Cantril was affiliated with Princeton University's Radio Research Project, which was funded in 1937 by the Rockefeller Foundation. Also affiliated with the Project was Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) member and Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS) executive Frank Stanton, whose network had broadcast the program. Stanton would later go on to head the news division of CBS, and in time would become president of the network, as well as chairman of the board of the RAND Corporation, the influential think tank which has done groundbreaking research on, among other things, mass brainwashing. Two years later, with Rockefeller Foundation money, Cantril established the Office of Public Opinion Research (OPOR), also at Princeton. Among the studies conducted by the OPOR was an analysis of the effectiveness of "psycho-political operations" (propaganda, in plain English) of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), the forerunner of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). Then, during World War II, Cantril and Rockefeller money assisted CFR member and CBS reporter Edward R. Murrow in setting up the Princeton Listening Center, the purpose of which was to study Nazi radio propaganda with the object of applying Nazi techniques to OSS propaganda. Out of this project came a new government agency, the Foreign Broadcast Intelligence Service (FBIS). The FBIS eventually became the United States Information Agency (USIA), which is the propaganda arm of the National Security Council. Thus, by the end of the 1940s, the basic research had been done and the propaganda apparatus of the national security state had been set up--just in time for the Dawn of Television."Experiments conducted by researcher Herbert Krugman reveal that when a person watches television, brain activity switches from the left to the right hemisphere. The left hemisphere is the seat of logical thought. Here, information is broken down into its component parts and critically analyzed. The right brain, however, treats incoming data uncritically, processing information in wholes, leading to emotional, rather than logical responses. The shift from left to right brain activity also causes the release of endorphins, the body's own natural opiates--thus, it is possible to become physically addicted to watching television, a hypothesis borne out by numerous studies which have shown that very few people are able to kick the television habit. It's no longer an overstatement to note that the youth today that are raised and taught through network television are intellectually dead by their early teens.The dumbing down of humanity is represented by another shift which occurs in the brain when we watch television. Activity in the higher brain regions (such as the neo-cortex) is diminished, while activity in the lower brain regions (such as the limbic system) increases. The latter, commonly referred to as the reptile brain, is associated with more primitive mental functions, such as the "fight or flight" response. The reptile brain is unable to distinguish between reality and the simulated reality of television. To the reptile brain, if it looks real, it is real. Thus, though we know on a conscious level it is "only a film," on a conscious level we do not--the heart beats faster, for instance, while we watch a suspenseful scene. Similarly, we know the commercial is trying to manipulate us, but on an unconscious level the commercial nonetheless succeeds in, say, making us feel inadequate until we buy whatever thing is being advertised--and the effect is all the more powerful because it is unconscious, operating on the deepest level of human response. The reptile brain makes it possible for us to survive as biological beings, but it also leaves us vulnerable to the manipulations of television programmers. This is where the manipulators use our own emotions as strings to control us. The distortions and directions we are being moved to are taking place in the subconscious, often undetected.Propaganda techniques were first codified and applied in a scientific manner by journalist Walter Lippman and psychologist Edward Bernays (nephew of Sigmund Freud) early in the 20th century. During World War I, Lippman and Bernays were hired by then United States President, Woodrow Wilson, to participate in the Creel Commission, the mission of which was to sway popular opinion in favor of entering the war, on the side of Britain. Edward Bernays said in his 1928 book Propaganda that, "The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country."The Creel Commission provided themes for speeches by "four-minute men" at public functions, and also encouraged censorship of the American press. The Commission was so unpopular that after the war, Congress closed it down without providing funding to organize and archive its papers. The war propaganda campaign of Lippman and Bernays produced within six months such an intense anti-German hysteria as to permanently impress American business (and Adolf Hitler, among others) with the potential of large-scale propaganda to control public opinion. Bernays coined the terms "group mind" and "engineering consent", important concepts in practical propaganda work. The current public relations industry is a direct outgrowth of Lippman's and Bernays' work and is still used extensively by the United States government. For the first half of the 20th century Betrays and Lip man ran a very successful public relations firm. World War II saw continued use of propaganda as a weapon of war, both by Hitler's propagandist Joseph Gobbles and the British Political Warfare Executive, as well as the United States Office of War Information.Turn on your local newscast. You have a few minutes of blue-collar crime, hardly any white collar crime, a few minutes of sports, misc. chit chat, random political jibber-jabber, and a look at the weather that no one is forecasting correctly. Is that what happened in your town? And we're supposed to own the airwaves! The mainstream media openly supports the interests of the prison industrial complex. The stories focus on minority criminal groups, and exploit the real threat to appear much more dangerous than they are. Think about the growing per capita number of prisoners in the country. Then remember that this is happening at the same time that our prison boom began. The police on our streets have created criminals. The focus is to keep us in a state of fear, that way the elitists can attack any group they want to without fear of consequence. This is why the media is continuing to craft the timeless art of dehumanization.The techniques are increasing in their sophistication over time as the mind scientists that serve the empire continue to discover scientific breakthroughs as to how the human brain functions, learns, retains information, and behaves. The most effective brainwashing techniques are used on the most successful propaganda networks. Examine the music bed that lies low during the fright night scope of the second. It's spooky. I wonder if we are supposed to be thinking with our minds or getting ready for stunt. Observe the graphics with the music. They're glitzy and flashing. Like the monkey that is attracted to shiny objects, it's our monkey hand that controls to remote often stops the search for entertainment when the proper amount of glamour catches their attention. Most importantly, notice the repetition behind the lies that the politicians and their corporate media groupies tell us. You see, the unimaginable fallacies are created as 'truth' not because it's logical or provable, but because of the broken record technique. No matter how ridiculous the lie, it's repeated often enough that the brain doesn't know the difference between reality and nursery rhymes. This technique is under estimated in its ability to allow the puppeteers to hypnotize millions of people. Instead of "Fair and balanced" it's "We say it enough times, and you believe it."It's a tragic day when the state can monopolize on the enslaving and imprisonment of a population. Hollywood will continue to frighten us with films on the mafia, gangsters, and the corrupt blue collar criminal whose stupidity and greed get them caught. In the end, our minds are already pre conditioned to accept living in a police state economy and society because we read it in the paper, saw it praised on the news and talk shows, or saw it in a movie. There are several movies planned right now that support the official story of 911 and a few movies that glamorize the War on IRAQ. According to David L Robb, Author of Operation Hollywood, "Hollywood and the Pentagon have a long history of making movies together. It's a tradition that stretches back to the early days of silent films, and extends right up until the present day. It's been a collaboration that works well for both sides. Hollywood producers get what they want - access to billions of dollars worth of military hardware and equipment - tanks, jet fighters, nuclear submarines and aircraft carriers - and the military gets what it wants - films that portray the military in a positive light; films that help the services in their recruiting efforts. The Pentagon is not merely a passive supporter of films, however. If the Pentagon doesn't like a script, it will usually suggest script changes that will allow the film to receive the military's support and approval. Sometimes these proposed changes are minor. But sometimes the changes are dramatic. Sometimes they change dialogue. Sometimes they change characters. Sometimes they even change history." They create something coined 'disinfotainment'. They mix disinformation with entertainment and call it disinfotainment.Unadulterated Violence is now accepted on regular TV. Killing in the name of the mother government is praised, that is unless the violence is committed in self defense to protect someone from the system. Sharp shooters, bombers, and assassin are worshipped if they are fighting for the system, are in the military, or are associated with groups that control the masses locally, such as the local police department. I don't condone violence, however it's hypocritical to support one form of homicide when it favors the elite, and condemn another when it's done to protect your land, freedom, or loved ones. This odd reality transfers itself into the shady world of video games that are stepped in plots and tasks to kill as much as the player can. The players are getting younger and younger with 7 out of 10 children playing games with a 'Mature' rating. Recently I was browsing the PC video game selection at a very large electronics store. I was appalled to see nearly 50 different games in which the setting of the game is IRAQ and the goal is to kill as many insurgents as possible and fulfill the mission. Children today are being indoctrinated through their favorite games and law enforcement programs to be the button pushes of the weapons of mass destruction for tomorrow's world.Is it any wonder why there are two house bills and a senate bill (with more on the way), which are giant steps in dismantling free speech of the general public. These bills together would kill (PEG) cable access centers where the public still owns the airwaves. It's the programming created locally, without censorship or commercial gain. Their income is derived from franchises within the local cities and a small percentage cable subscriber frees. This is a corporate takeover because this is centralizing communication by removing the locally based programming and moving the audience to the more official, nationalistic, and sensational programs that promotes violence, uniformity, and slavery over peach, diversity and freedom. Cable access features free speech and information with perspectives neglected by mainstream television. It also features a free flow programming system with fresh programs being aired by new producers on a rotating basis. This keeps the content and information creative and locally based while network TV is rigid with regular time slots and repetitive programming.The blocks of programming that are universally accepted parallel the shift to craft our entire lives towards the factory's bell and the illusion of time. This is the creation of the hive mind. The hive mind is result of massive brainwashing to the general public. Everyone shares the same thoughts, goals, knowledge and understanding. A hive mind society gears itself towards conformity and ignores diversity while masqueraded as the road to utopia in mainstream television. Network programming, weather it's the news or drama, is geared towards artificially creating your world and reality. With the proper amount of entertainment and sensationalism, we may even be living our lives through the television set. Many anchors and actors are beautiful and research shows that attractive people are usually perceived as trust worthy. While the real news rolls quickly by on the bottom of your screen, the anchor is selling you on the idea of having your very own police state hell hole right here in your local jurisdiction, or how 2 sports opposing teams chased around on a court for 2 hours in attempt to score points means something to you. No education, no information, SPIN. Today the media represents a tool of brainwashing and indoctrination that is utilized on behalf of the owners interests.Since the 1996 Telco act, television and radio stations all across the nation were bought out by major international media outlets. Clear Channel and Infinity are the two largest corporations in radio today. This has centralized the distribution of information and has threatened our free society ever since. The media drums to the heartbeat of its owners, whose interests are not of the general public. Instead they are interested in their other financial endeavors like defense contracting, oil business, political parties, prison industry. The conflicts of interest are monumental with the deregulation of the corporations. The lines are now blurred between one network's coverage of the war and the other.Once we come to the conclusion that the media is intentionally deceiving us, we can apply the principles of problem-reaction-solution. This formula takes a problem by either creating it or allowing it to happen and presenting that to the population. It could be terrorism, molestation, extra terrestrials. These topics create fear and no one in their right mind would support terrorism or crime. It's therefore OK to blast the television, the papers, and radio with 'the problem.' The natural reaction from the people is a request for more control to ensure more safety. Most let their fear and emotional side control their decisions and usually translated into something like, "The government needs more power over our lives to make us safer and freer from tyranny. I believe what the media tells me so I will support whatever decisions they make." Today's mainstream corporate news program discourages dissent of the war and paints activists with a negative brush that hints of treason. At the same time, the so-called journalists are cogs in a much larger machine who know that if they report a story that paints the government in a dark light, is likely to remain on 'the wire' and off the front page.The most disturbing thing about spending a single hour examining network cable news and modern Hollywood films are the reoccurring themes in the backdrop. The central ideas of countless "investigative reports" or "Friday night special" features are about a threat of some type over the horizon. The end of the world as we know it is being sold. If the news isn't feeding it to you, then the History Channel or Discover Channel are either talking about the crusades, asteroids, UFOs, earthquakes, terrorism, or exposes about serial killers. They are crafted a message that our world is unstable, and the threat is always an invisible and dangerous one that only our military can fix. When you record and log all the messages, you end up with a script, a screen write produced through the movie studios of Hollywood hell.I am not alone in noting this observation. Local and network news are designing their editorials about despair and fear because the owners, producers, and editors now understand that fear sells. The end result are the desired ratings, delivered like expected. The masters of modern spin understand that we like to be terrified. Just look at the success in the action/suspense/terror genres that have plopped onto the conveyor belt and packaged for our glee consumption. When the editors in charge found out that simply plastering a terror alert chart didn't scare the people the same way it used to, they began to kick up the campaign of terror a few notches with new and creative ways to sell the police state.When you get to the other side of the terror alerts of all shapes and sizes, you find another nightmare masquerading as the savior. The 'Ministry of Truth' will protect you. The mother government is here to rescue you and squash this brown terrorist bug, this gray alien, this avian bird flu, and every other nightmare that the nightly news brought you. The finest public relations specialists take the science of worshipping our kings down to a frame by frame level. George W. Bush is pictured in numerous poises with a hallo around his head. In other pictures, he stands tall with dozens of American flags blowing in the wind behind him. A more blasphemous display features him speaking in front of the cross of Jesus Christ. The message send couldn't be more clearly presented. Our current leaders are of the messiah status and only through them, will we reach the gates of safety. The lie that has been accepted by so many as truth is that this is a religious war. Numerous prime time programs are telling the story of the crusades (without the horrors) to synch our vibrations up to something out of the 13th Century, instead of the 21st Century. If the America people accept the fact that the crusades are here, that George Bush reports directly to god, and that revelations are here, then they have won the war for our minds.The loudspeaker whispers, "All our problems are by accident, never design." Across the room the system's minion snorts, "If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear." It's that plot that says Middle Eastern terrorists from an Afghan cave are the reason beyond our little, "War on terror." Related messages in the script demonize young minority males and suggest harsh punishments for crimes they commit. They don't come out overtly and state their racist agenda. They come at you from the side by airing the same crime news repetitively, usually when it's committed by the minority group. The networks love the fact that the TV sets the norms in society and today, and hence politically opinion. Who would imagine that in the United States of America, both candidates of both parties in the 2004 election would be members of the Skull and Bones society at Yale University? Out of 290 million Americans, this is the best we could come up with?It is the decision of the owners to influence producers, editors, and others involved to paint to brush to fit the objective, which is the bottom line. If Sports is what the people want, then they get it, usually in large doses. Multi-media sports (or spectator sports) is just an escape from our own existence. It's like gambling, or drug addiction. It provides that buffer zone of rooting for something with other people that we've been told is good. People's fantasies also lead them to fixating on sports. Its simulated masculinity, in an age where there's a push to change us from men to robots. It's human nature to resist and fight that which is suppressing us. The sociologists and psychologists in areas of influence know this. Spectator sports prove the outlet internationally for what has been stripped away from us. We've lost the right to rebel and change our government through warfare if necessary. Today the bulk of our nation's population today doesn't know what's really going on with the fall of the American dollar and the plans for the transfer of American wealth to other countries. However, most can tell you who the top basketball or football players are. A lot of fans wish they were the stars, out there on the stage, the court, and the drag strip. Either you're "numero uno" in center stage or you're nothing. End of story.What I never understood when I was in high school was why my peers and friends would act naïve or ignorant in a "Wayne's World" or "Beavis and Butthead" kind of way. What I've learned since then is that the numerous programs that are pimping themselves of as 'entertainment' are actually demo graphed to the lowest common denominator. This is especially true with disc jockeys in Radio today. The reason our airwaves are saturated with jokes and content centered on fart jokes, private parts, borderline racism, and general trash talk is because it is selling. In the meantime, large numbers of our children, young adults, and older audiences are mimicking what they see and hear because the current 'norm' is selling this behavior as cool or 'chic.' When the conditioned is so intense that these forms of content are considered the norm, anything else seems either bizarre or uninteresting to the average American's attention span that is decreasing by the day. Hypothetically, if a producer on a network did get away from a feature story exposing government corruption at the highest levels, chances are the large impact necessary wouldn't be realized because the average viewer's brain has already been conditioned to seek out certain types of disinfotainment.The media has created the picture perfect society that could exist if we only did things their way, (their interests/government interest). It tells us what happiness is and what it is not and same for love, hate or anything else they can implant into our sub consciousness. We can become the perfect slave to the system through indoctrination given through network TV. Over time the messages are becoming increasingly racist, violent, and dishonest. But the programming began decades ago and few have the eyes to see it for what it has become. We live in a world where the populations give their minds away to the official version of the event, where utopia is right around the corner when big brother is riding shotgun. It's a world where Hollywood can make you believe anything, even that you are free. It's a world in which the prosecutor and the judge sit on the same side of the bench. The most obvious reason that our minds are being controlled on a massive scale psychologically, is become our culture has been conditioned incriminatingly to a TV, a radio, or a paper. We are given the world reality through a screen, some ink, or radio waves. The truth is hiding in plain site. The indoctrination through these mediums warns us that views other than those presented by them are unimportant and too be condemned. This Administration and media monopoly has a carefully crafted dehumanization program to anyone that dissents the official version of events.Some people are wrong about 5% of the time. Some are wrong most of the time. I wish I was wrong all the time. A lot of people deal with theseintense realities, by asking me rhetorically, "What is the solution, smart guy?" Remember, it's the viewers, the consumers and all the other little votes called dollars that helped this oligarchy system lay its concrete foundation in our backyards. We must recognize the truth about why the system is flawed and enslaving us if we wish to beat it. The most important solution to fighting this type of brainwashing and mind control is to start with ourselves and our own awakening in the smaller things. In this case, it's brainwashing but after awhile we break Outside the Box and begin venturing outside the system and into unknown terrain. Fighting with people and forcing them to understand 'our truth' is not a solution. If our collective free will created this nightmare, than only our collective free will change it. The battle begins in the heart and mind of the beholder, and then extends outward from there, only to those open to the information.If you choose to travel the road to the truth, then you must be prepared for the obstacles that await you. You may be condemned or criticized by your family, your friends, your lovers, or your co-workers. This is their programming that began at birth that is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. You're going to have to be stronger than that. You must realize that there is a reality that exists outside of this controlled artificial system. Like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade, he took that 'leap of faith' over the bridgeless canyon in an attempt to get to the other side. Like Neo in the Matrix, he took the red pill from Morpheus in his attempt to cross over to his real self. Once you wake up, it's as if a hypnotist came along and snapped his fingers. You wake up and say to yourself, "Oh my god. I can see it now. Why did it take me so long to wake up?!" For some of you it can be a major shock. Like anything else, take this information and knowledge in stages. If it took a lifetime for them to mold your reality for you, then you know that it may take longer than a day to fully awaken. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.The choice is up to you.