Name Period Biology Date Dogs Excel On Smell Test To Find: Fill & Download for Free

BREAKING LAWS FOR FUN AND PROFITFor 18 years I learned Math, English, History, Science, and a handful of other things. My memory was decent so I got good grades. I got into a decent school. I made friends who were also good at memory and tests.And then I blew up. I kept moving up and up and up and finally I was in one of the best graduate schools in the country and I failed every class the first semester.And then I failed every class the second semester.And finally after another year of that, they threw me out.18 years of learning, I never used a single thing from what I’ve learned. I wanted to see if other people have learned from their years of study. I ask a few questions.When was “The 30 Years War”? We learned it every year. But I can’t even remember as I write this.What’s an integral?What’s the fifth element on the periodic table?What are the names of Hemingway’s novels? Or Fitzgerald’s?Such a simple test. And so basic to everything we learned all through high school, college, whenever.Most people can’t answer any of the above. To be honest, I can’t answer any of the above.I majored in Computer Science. I programmed at least 10,000 hours during my learning time. And I loved it. I dreamed code. I wanted computers to speak to me and love me and solve all of my problems.And then I was thrown out. And then on my first job, I was sent to remedial programming classes to be as good as the WORST programmer at my job,.I’m not saying school is bad.I learned how to get beaten on the playground. I learned how to get rejected by girls I wanted to date and, in my imagination, shower with kisses.I learned how to have teachers not like me and treat me unfairly for reasons I still can’t figure. I learned a lot when my dad hit me for poor grades. I learned how to cheat on tests so I could rise up higher and higher. I learned how to not get caught while the boys (always boys) in front of me, behind me, to my left, and to my right, were all caught.I’m not saying school is bad. Because who am I to judge. It’s good that I learned how to be spit on.HERE ARE THE LAWS I WISH I KNEWAND THEN HOW TO BREAK THEM!Laws are made to be broken. So here are the laws and here’s how I wish I learned to break them:MURPHY’S LAW: “Whatever can go wrong will.”Nobody knows who Murphy is. He’s supposed to be a soldier in a war. Presumably, as per the law, he didn’t survive.I’ve seen this law in business and work many times.You don’t get the promotion you want. A client disappears. An employee doesn’t show up on a critical day so you have to work all night. An investment that was a “sure thing” falls apart, and so on.Solution: Diversify.You can’t do this overnight. But I started aiming for this about ten years ago and built up along the way.Have multiple interests that you pursue (no more than five).If you have a job, always have feelers out for new jobs.Never have one client be more than 10% of your business (this is often hard, because many businesses are built off the back of one big client, but it’s something to aim for).Example: Isaac Asimov would get writer’s block all the time. And yet he wrote 500 books in his life. That’s 2 a month for 25 years. 2 A MONTH!He said, “Whenever I got stuck on one book, I’d work on another project.”The key is: the only way to succeed is to DO. So if you have a diverse amount of projects of ideas you are working on, you can always switch to DO-ing on something else even if you are stuck on one or if one falls apart.I once had an ENORMOUS investment fall apart on me unexpectedly in a matter of days.In the past, I would’ve been very upset. But I just instantly started working on other projects to keep myself going. And because of the failure of the first one, I worked that much harder on the other projects.The results (so far) were one successful business and two books that year and the start of a new podcast.PARKINSON’S LAW - The time it takes to complete a task fills up to the time you are given to complete it.In other words, if you are given a month to do a project, it will take a month.Solution: For every project I have going on I break it down into smaller tasks.For instance, writing a book: I might have ten chapters to write. When working on a podcast: I have tasks like: schedule, research, market, etc. When starting a business I might have: development (product, strategy, service, etc), or client-finding, or employee-hiring.Then break each task and to ten DOs that can be easily done today.Then spend 4 hours doing. When in a rut with one thing, immediately switch to another thing on your tasks or DOs.This way you take the psychological effect of the deadline out of it. If you are constantly DO-ing, you get closer and closer to getting things done. And if you clearly specify the tasks, then new tasks don’t get in the way.Do all the tasks before creating new tasks.I also always challenge myself with a harder deadline. If I have to finish a book in a year, I set a month as a deadline.Never break the chain: DO every day.PARETO’S LAW (the 80/20 Rule): 80% of the value is created by 20% of the people. Or, 80% of what you create takes 20% of your effort .Example: this “law” started from observations in gardening. 20% of the seeds planted create 80% of the flowers that bloom.But everyone who works for a corporation knows that 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people.And every venture investor knows that 80% of the profits come from 20% of the investments.And, as a writer, 80% of profits from books comes from 20% of the books.Or, as a business, 80% of your profits come from 20% of your marketing effort.How to BREAK the law:Three ways:Use the “Expanded Pareto Law”: (Pareto Cubed).If 80% of the value is created by 20% of the work, then 64% of the value is created by 4% of the work (Pareto Squared) and just about 50% of the value is created by 1% of the work (Pareto Cubed).How do you find that 1%?You have to figure out how to measure things. How do you define value? Once you define it, you can measure it.Once you measure it, you only focus on the 20%, or the 4%, or the 1% (depending on how much value you want to create).I know that if I want to write, I have to do it in the morning. Else I won’t write. Or it will be much more difficult.So if I don’t write by end of morning, I give up. It’s over.2. Do other things. You can't EXPAND the law. 100% effort won’t create 800% value.We can only work for so long on any one thing per day.So remember to rest and rejuvenate or work on multiple projects (multiple Paretos) so that you have maximum energy the next day.3. Only focus on the strengths. Yes, you are only getting 80% of value and if you work the rest of the day you will get the other 20% (barely). Be ok with not getting 100% on everything you do.instead, get 80% on one thing and 80% on anotherDefine, Measure, DO, Rejuvenate, Diversify tasks is how you make Pareto’s Law work for you.SCOTT ADAMS’ LAW: Everyone is irrational.I’m calling it Scott’s law because he told it to me. Scott is the creator of “Dilbert” - the cartoon strip syndicated in over 2000 newspapers.Scott’s point is that you can never appeal to people with rational reasons. They buy/vote/like/fear/argue for all irrational reasons.Break the law: It’s pointless to argue with anyone with rational reasons. Even if it’s a friend or spouse or someone you think is smart (often they are the worst).You have to use rules of persuasion if you plan on arguing with people (see any number of books on this).I also always remind myself that I am probably irrational all the time. So I don’t waste my time with opinions that are probably wrong, or with fears of catastrophes that will never happen.It’s easy to convince myself of the worst-case scenario and create anxiety. The only problem is I am almost always wrong, and I move on to the next “worst case scenario”.ALTUCHER’s LAW: There’s always a good reason and a real reason.I’m naming this after myself because I see this every day.If someone gives me a reason for doing something they always give a good, rational reason that is hard to argue with.Example: My daughter wants to go to the library. Reason: to do homework.Great reason. I can’t argue with it.Real reason: Boys are there.Example: An employee says we shouldn’t use a specific tool to get an important project done because it’s too expensive and it’s not the right tool.Real reason: He’s afraid he won’t be able to learn how to use it and it will take a lot of time.There are many examples.Break the law: Any time anyone gives me a reason for anything, I always listen to the good reason, but listen in between the lines for the real reason.Example: If someone writes a bad review of a book of mine, I assume they just didn’t like some opinion I have and this is a way of taking out their anger.And when I find myself giving a rational reason for something, I remind myself “this is probably BS” and I try to figure out the real reason I am saying something.THE LAW OF ANGER - Anger is fear clothed.There’s a lot of anger out there lately. Just turn on your social media feed. Just call up your relatives. Just read the paper.But anger is always fear clothed. I had a business partner angry at me recently. But it turns out his wife had cheated on him and perhaps he was just afraid other partners would betray him.When his life settled down, so did his anger.When I am angry, I try to think of what insecurity I have that might be triggering a fear that is triggering the anger.Like if I’m angry a woman I am in a relationship with is talking to a guy (jealousy), maybe it’s because of insecurities I’ve had since childhood about my looks or my worthiness to members of the opposite sex.Or if I’m angry at a business partner, maybe it’s related to my non-stop fear of always going broke.Break the law: If you smell smoke, look for a fire. If you smell anger, look for the underlying fear.THE HAPPINESS FORMULA: HAPPINESS = REALITY / EXPECTATIONSIt’s hard to change reality. But I can change my expectations in a second.Example: If I’m 200 pounds, It’s hard to lose 50 pounds in a day.But, if I’m 200 pounds I can say, “the important thing is right now to start eating healthy and over time, the body will follow.” And then to be happy with my new course in life.Or if someone has more money than me, I can’t change the amount of money I have in the bank, but yesterday I went bowling. Not every billionaire can go bowling whenever they want. I can!I keep my expectations super low. Not to the point where I am fine being homeless or alone (although I wish I were that brave) but enough that it’s very hard for me to be unhappy.THE 10,000 HOUR RULE: the idea that 10,000 hours of practice will make you one of the best in the world at whatever it is you are practicing.Malcom Gladwell popularized this rule in “Outliers”. He describes how the Beatles got their “10,000 hours” in by playing in strip joints 24 hours a day in Germany for a few years.The Rule is based on research by Anders Ericsson who has studied peak performers in almost every industry from chess to sports to arts to business.Anders wrote his own book, “PEAK” and clarified it a bit more. And after talking to 100s of peak performers myself, I figured out a short cut.First off, Anders clarification. It’s not just “practice”. It’s “deliberate practice”.Deliberate practice is:- find a mentor to teach you the best training methods and provide feedback.get a lot of fast feedback on what you are doing.increasing the level of difficultyRepeatBREAK THE RULE:My shortcut:A) Get pretty good at one or more things. My “Pretty Good Rule” requires about 200 hours of deliberate practice.B) Combine the things you are good at into one thing.C) Now you are the best in the world at the combination.For instance, a pretty good programmer who is also a pretty good businessman can build a HUGE business (all of Silicon Valley).A pretty good writer combined with a pretty good financial understanding can be an excellent financial writer.THE BILL MURRAY LAW: Stand next to the smartest man in the room.Harold Ramis actually said it. He met Bill Murray when he was playing golf and around the ninth hole there was this funny high school dropout selling hot dogs.That was Bill Murray.Harold Ramis stood next to him. And after Caddyshack, Meatballs, Stripes, and Ghostbusters, he proved how important this rule is.A related rule: “You are the average of the five people you spend time with”.They don’t teach this in school. But if you just remember this one rule, your life will be infinitely easier.I think the “five” rule can be extended:Your biology will be the average of the five foods you eat the most.You are the average of the five things you think about the most (so don’t be angry and scared all the time).You are the average of the five things that inspire you the most.You are the average of the five ways you help people the most.I call this the POWER OF FIVE LAWGo to school. Take your tests. Meet friends. Go to parties. Enjoy life. Nothing is wrong with that.But these laws run deep and etch out the map towards our successes and our failures.You can forget when Charlemagne was born but you can’t forget to be the average of the five people around you. You can’t forget that anger is fear clothed. You can’t forget to be ready for the worst case scenarios.These are the rules that the history of the world is made of.And is ultimately the carving that is sculpted out of the block of marble that is you.You might find this helpful too: What are some of the dark lessons that life showed you?

I live in France UK USA but I love india this is typical reply who left the india..Well now days the the Patriotism and citizenship of India is almost non- existent…More and more people get educated from IIT and IIM they want to leave india as soon as possible…There typical reply is that best quality work life balance etc etcI got more freedom I can wear shorts no-one bat a eye to me this is freedom i want ,the currency is more powerful I can travel around the world the world euro/ dollar / Kuwaiti dinar , am financially independent I can do job and pay for living which fullfil..Europe is very safe beautiful , it's a heaven on earth 🌎 it's a like dreamOvercrowding I can't travel across the country it's very devastating it's very uncomfortable it's very smellyAnything is allowed if it’s for religion.Logic and scientific evidence be damned because god must be the answer to everything right? Whether your burn ton of mango woods for havan or cut the thousands of goat for sacrifice for God which is non existent .Then people Write this on quora who praising Europe..Climate - Netherlands is a country with moderately warm summers and cool winters, and typically high humidity. During summer, sun rises at 5:00 AM and sets at 10:00 PM. During winter, sun rises at 9:00 AM and sets at 4:30 PM. It took some time for me to get adjusted to the climate and daylight changes. This was a complete different experience for me, since I was used to the climatic conditions in India where the daylight change is almost constant throughout the year.Greeting everyone with smile - I am not sure if this is followed in other countries as well. In Netherlands, when we make eye contact with strangers they will smile and greet even if we don’t know them.Appointments and Punctuality - Appointment is mandatory for any formalities like opening bank account to visiting doctor. Hospitality and the way they treat customers are unimaginable. When I opened my new bank account in ABN AMRO, a dedicated officer spent around one hour to explain me the end to end process followed in their bank. Government employees are very friendly in nature. It’s much easier and hassle free process to get work done like registering new address and getting BSN in the local municipality (aka Gemeente).Public Transport, Roads and Traffic rules - Rules are followed strictly and traffic monitoring is completely automated. Vehicles will stop until the pedestrians cross the road even if there is no signal. Roads are replaced frequently to ensure the quality and safety for transport. From children to elders, everyone use bicycle to travel to school and office. There is a separate track for bicycles in the road. One interesting fact is that the number of bicycles in NL is more than the entire population of dutch. Public transport in NL uses chip card for payment. No need to pay cash, just swipe in and swipe out. People are well behaved and they stand in a queue to get into bus/train.Medical Care - It is difficult to get Doctor’s appointment for common health problems like fever and cold. Paracetamol is the only medicine that is prescribed for all the minor health issues, which can be bought in any super markets. Patients are treated with high class medical facilities if they are diagnosed with any disease and the expenses are bore by the insurance companies. TB test is mandatory for all the expats travelling to NL since they are more cautious about spreading the disease to the local dutch citizens.Food and Eating habits- Dutch people mostly prefer having vegetable salads and fruits for lunch. Beef and Pork is the next preferred meat here after chicken and they don’t usually eat spicy food. Alcohols are sold in all the super markets. Government gives more importance to agriculture, and NL is the 2nd largest food exporter in the world.GDPR Regulation - This is applicable to the entire European Union which came into effect on May 2018. GDPR ensures data privacy and security. Public and Private organizations in EU cannot share personal data without users consent.Preserving Nature - Government gives more importance to save natural resource. We can find canals in every place. There are more than 10,000 operational windmills in the country. NL government is planning to permit only electric cars by the end of 2030 to reduce pollution…Why do you want to leave India, if you do?I want to settle abroad, because in IndiaYou have to conform to nineteenth century standards before loving someone.People belonging to 198 tribes are ‘habitual offenders’ by birth.A man has to carry his dead wife on his back for 10 km to cremate her.The police are busy searching for MLA's buffaloes.The government believes marital rape doesn't exist.We're the fifth largest economy, and we stand below Bangladesh in many social indices like infant mortality rate, maternal mortality rate, etc.You cannot criticise or make fun of the government.Your live in partner can sue you for rape and ruin yourThere are a lot of reasons why I want to leave India and there are reasons I want to stay as well although I am not going to focus on those here. Even though, there will be some points you might not agree on or criticize me for it, I am completely fine with it as you don’t need to agree with all of them. But these are the things I have felt that make me want to leave India and I am sure there will be many who would agree too: -1) Overcrowding – I live in the city of Mumbai and have been travelling in local trains since past 6 years during my high school, college and now job. Local trains are the lifeline of Mumbai and they are the fastest mode of transport in the city during peak hours compared to the highly congested roads of Mumbai. From 7-11 am, CST down line and 5-10 pm Kalyan / Kasara line (same goes for Western Railway), the trains are extremely crowded. Be it the first class compartment or second class compartment, you will be mashed the entire ride. Unless you live near a station from where the train originates,you can kiss your hopes of getting a seat goodbye. If you catch a fast train instead of a slow one, you better pray to reach your destination in one piece and alive because you would pretty sure be hanging near the door the entire time! I love this city and I can’t leave it for too many reasons. Most of the opportunities for employment and academic related are concentrated here. I have access to major railway terminals, an international airport, high class multi specialty hospitals, state of the art malls and entertainment complexes, etc. There are lot of advantages of living in a city although there are lot of disadvantages primarily being overcrowding. There are no or minimal problems related to that in developed countries. Many would argue that public transit is poor in US when compared to India, but the economy of countries like US has adapted to a driving culture with excellent road infrastructure and low gas prices. I can’t travel by car in India regularly where oil prices are so high and road quality is so low.2) Dirt and Filth – I have been on foreign trips and to those people who haven’t, let me tell you its an eye opening experience. The moment you step off the tarmac and take in the view of the alien land, you can truly see what cleanliness and organization of public infrastructure looks like. The absence of pan-stains on the sides of the train or streets, proper streets for people to walk on without hawkers or bus stands or stray dogs, proper signs and paint marks for speed breakers, speed limits, stop signs, destination boards, etc. just makes you feel why there is no such thing in your country. Millions of people pay taxes and more than that is spent because of which we have a fiscal deficit yet we don’t get the privilege of such basic infrastructure that is the norm there. There are dustbins at regular intervals with special tray for cigarette butts, the garbage is segregated at the source and treated at the end. On the other hand, Deonar dumping ground in Mumbai is way overfilled from its capacity with no segregation and no treatment. Ragpickers get diseases and hurt on a regular basis and fires are frequent that just pollute the already polluted air. I have been diligent with cleanliness –I keep my litter in my bag until I can dispose it off in proper bins, I recycle all the paper and bottles and clothing (which I donate to the needy), I keep food wastage to a minimum, etc. Yet I see people littering, spitting, throwing garbage be it a poor uneducated man or a rich dude in an Audi – Can I change everybody? No.3) Sanitation – I really appreciate PM Modi’s Swacch Bharat Abhiyan and I think it is high time in this country we make each and every person have access to proper clean toilets. As I live in Mumbai, let me tell you the usual scenario. Before we go out anywhere, unless its somebody’s house it is imperative to have bladder check because you never know if you might find a decent toilet or not. Its ironic but a person in emergency would go to a mall made by a private company than use a public toilet. A person would use a toilet in McDonalds (literally everywhere especially near stations) than use one at railway stations. I lived in one of my cousin’s hostel for a short period of time (It was a public university) and the washrooms were downright disgusting. They stank of putrid smell even before entering, commodes were overflowing and water was scare. I just pitied the people who had to use it in emergencies.4) Moral Police & S*x – India is the land of 1.2 billion people. The place where Kamasutra originated. The place where we see porn among idols near various ancient sites and sculptures. Yet, we CANNOT talk, see, hear or even show a remote connection to sex! Sex Education is a joke here. We turn our heads when we see a condom commercial with family. We beat up and mentally torture the kids watching porn rather than teach them. Do you know just to what EXTENT people are dumb about sex? Just read the sexpert column in Mumbai Mirror by Dr. Mahindra Watsa and see the kind of questions out there. I admire Dr.Watsa’s wits and patience to answer such questions with grace and knowledge. I don’t condone any sort of public love making or indecency yet it is shameful to even hold hands or let alone hug a person from the opposite gender in a public place. I could be hugging my very own sister and people would stare at you as if you just committed a sin right there! There are reports that police barged in on couples in hotel rooms and charged them with public indecency!Yes, you heard it right! HOTEL ROOMS, for god’s sake! Is there any place left for 2 lovers in this overcrowded city for some privacy! Are they affecting ANYBODY by being alone in a room where NO ONE can see!5) Traffic rules – We wear helmets to avoid getting caught and pay a bribe. We go way ahead of line when the signal countdown is less than 20 and almost across the road by the time it is less than 10. We change lanes without indicators or use a one way road for our 2 way benefit “ki sab chalta hai”. I was once stuck in an intersection in Chicago and the discipline of the drivers was so awesome that as 2 road conjoined into 1 lane,the traffic would move in a way that one car would move from 1st road then another car from 2nd road then next car from 1st road and so on… It was such a beautiful system yet I could never imagine such thing occurring here. People ram and budge into corners as if saving that extra 2 seconds is going to save a life. I have seen autorickshaw drivers showing hands and legs as indicators as if the purpose for the lights on the vehicles was for aesthetics.6) Corruption & Bureaucracy – This factor has highly come down in India yet it has a long way to go. From getting a passport to getting a big real estate project passed, every stage of India’s administration requires a “karcha-paani” to get things done. The only advantage is it gets things done faster if the bribe is good enough. Otherwise, the duties and responsibilities of people that are obligated to do this work are not only going to delay or permanently rest on the matter but also ask you for more and more as the work increases. This is frustrating, shameful and at times impossible to work with. I understand some government officials are paid less and they should get a salary hike but not at the expense of common public in the form of corruption and biasness. The MPs are demanding more and more salary on top of numerous perks they enjoy and common government servants are struggling with their normal pay.7) Festivals – I am going to get lot of hate for this point and I am sure lots of people admire and enjoy Indian festivals with jest and heart filled joy. Many of the NRIs return to India because they miss the color and atmosphere of festivals abroad. I enjoy them too but most the times they are headaches. Diwali, the festival of lights is to be celebrated with sweets and family. We do that but we do more. People burst firecrackers that last all night with the decibel levels only going louder every year! You can’t drive safely on the roads because slum children use it as their playground and you never know when a sutli bomb might just burst below your car’s fuel tank! The air pollution goes off the charts and many people suffer respiratory problems. Ganesh Chaturthi – People purchase non-biodegradable idols made of PVP and blare loud music of holy songs all day and night! The idols are then submerged in water polluting them. Noise is common during Janmastami, Ambedkar Jayanti and Navratri as well. A person can’t have peace of mind during those days. Students have study leaves during festivals and have exams immediately after and they can’t study. People returning tired from work can’t sleep at night because of loud music. The pandals are set up right in the middle of the roads and traffic goes haywire. The idols are transported from the pandal to a pond or sea kilometers away on roads with slow speeds and crowd of people blocking every inch of space that driving is nightmare. What if there is an ambulance or a fire truck stuck in traffic? Somebody might just die and no one would realize or care.8) Purchasing power – We earn in rupees and spend in dollars! Smartphones costs upwards of 50K, laptops – 70K, Trousers, shirts, T shirts – 1 to 2K, Pants / jeans – 2-3K. A decent 2 BHK apartment in better neighbourhood in Mumbai would cost no less than 2 to 3 crores. A car costs upwards of 4 to 5 lakhs. How many people can boast of an income to sustain a livelihood with such prices? Fresher from good universities start with barely 4 to 4.5 lakhs of income. Even with a 10-15% rate of increase p.a., its going to reach 15 lakhs in 10 years. Can you sustain a family in a metropolitan city? Can you save enough for higher education, marriage (which is again such a big deal here), retirement? People work for hours on end and get paid in peanuts. There is no law or regulation to prevent the number of hours a day a company can milk an employee.9) Slow Internet – One of the frustrating reasons in the digital age is the slow internet speed. It is slowly improving and there are fiber networks being set up and 4G just launched yet the internet is pitifully slow at many places. The mobile data charges are through the roof and yet the quality is shameful.10) Customer Service – The customer service in India is pathetic. Be it big e commerce companies like Flipkart, Snapdeal or telecos like Vodafone, Reliance or even computing companies like Apple. My macbook malfunctioned within days of purchasing and it took innumerable phone calls, visits to service center and 2 months to replace it with a new one. I have relatives and friends in US where they submit a faulty phone or device and it is replaced over the counter with no questions asked and no charges. Amazon USA accepts returns of products upto 30 days after purchasing and even if you have used them because for them customer service is number 1 priority. Although it is not advisable to exploit such good policies.11) Quality of Education – Why do so many middle class Indians go abroad to do their masters? Why do they not study in IIMs or IITs?- Reservations – SC/ST/OBC and god knows what other castes are there that just being born into one of them entitles you admission into premium institutes with low or no grades and other governmental benefits. A general candidate working much harder and having much dire financial traits won’t get into them because his caste is different. Why would somebody want to tolerate this system?- Campus – Have you seen the campuses on some of the foreign institutes? They are just worth the money. The mess and the libraries in campuses across India except for few top institutes are just dirty, dinghy and not worth the money. The hostels are crumbling, the food is stale and unhygienic and libraries don’t have enough books. The labs have outdated equipment, the faculties are sometimes least bothered and budgets are low.- Research – Many students who want to pursue further research into their field or phD find foreign institutes much better in terms of support, faculty, equipment and funding. This encourages them and makes the work easier and more productive.12) Weather – This is not a negative point for India but the weather in lot of foreign countries is lot more pleasant and cool. The temperature never goes to the extent of 40 to 45 degree Celsius as it does here (Summer 2016). If a person prefers colder climates over hot and warmer ones, foreign countries would appeal to them. The temperature in US can go really down in winters and that would be frustrating too but its really a choice between cold & hot.13) Public Service – Have you seen an accident on road and how people gather around, who does no one come forward and help? Or if you see some injustice happening in front of your eyes, would you help or think twice? Some Samaritans do help and take up the mantle and help our society but why are they so few? Why doesn’t everybody help at the first instance? You can’t really blame the people. They are just victims of the “system” in place. The commonplace excuse – “Mein aise sab chakkar mein nahi fasna chahta”. And its true! People are scared to file a complaint in police stations fearing the cops will ask untoward questions. The justice system lags so bad that perpetrator won’t see the bars anytime soon and that too for a short time. Pizza reaches faster than ambulance! Maybe it’s the traffic,maybe it’s the response time, maybe its something else but in the end the victim suffers and dies sometimes. Is there anyone to blame? Nope.In the end, I would just like to say that I am NOT against India or Indian people in any way. These are some of my experiences and facts that I feel make me want to leave India. Its really a personal choice and that shouldn’t make somebody unpatriotic or any less Indian. Migration from India is high and increasing day by day, maybe some of these problems are the reason and maybe they are not. Its high time we fix them and let the country progress towards becoming a developed nation. There have been lot of positive changes in the past 2 years and I hope they continue to do so. Hopefully someday we won’t have any of the problems mentioned above by me! :)Before answering the real question I want to tell you I am a proud Indian who loves her nation like all other Indians.I am doing MS from Germany.let me elaborate why I left India and why I don't regret it.I was a software engineer in one the best IT firms in the world and was working there for more than two years in last two years I was earning well but did not had a single increment. Yes that's right not a single increment while my US counterparts who joined with me got promoted in front of me. Not because i was not deserving but because Indian IT population is cheap labour for the world.Infact none of the people who joined with me got any increment.Indian team members used to work in shifts as we were working with cloud services but there was no such concept for US counterparts. I used to work in odd shifts which either used to start in 6 in morning or used to end in 11 in the evening but US teammates would come to office by 10 am in normal working hours. ( trust me that is dream company for any software engineer)US counterparts would simply get all the public holidays be it thanksgiving ,Christmas etc but we in India had to work even on days like diwali, holi (although we were paid three times of salary that day ). I still remember the day I had to fight with my manager for an off on Rakhi day.I got frustrated within a year , I started looking for options. All my colleagues who joined with me were either studying for Cat or were going to US for MS.I had friends who gave two to three attempts of CAT and GATE but still could not secure the admission ,thanks to reservation system and amount of competition you face to get into IITs and IIMs.I didnt want to waste my two years preparing for Cat.Many friends actually switched to GMAT from CAT. I didn't had money to goto US school as the expenses were very high. I found about Germany that there is no tuition fees there and two to three universities there are actually among top 50 universities in the world.I aimed those three universities and gave necessary exams,GRE and TOEFL.I applied to universities and I got admit from all of them thanks to my good marks in exams and good btech grades. Had i tried to secure admission in India it would have easily taken me one two years. I chose Germany not because India does not have quality education but because I didn't had time and patience to prepare for entrance exam to get into college. Getting into IIM or IIT is way more tough than getting admit from ivy league. (I know people who were rejected by IITs but are in MIT, UCB and Caltech.)So I left India and it's been close to 8-9 months and I am loving it here because of following reasons1. I am in one of the best universities of the world with no tuition fees. I am doing part time in software company for my monthly expenses ( had I been in IIM I would have to spend atleast 15 lakhs plus my living expenses,iits too have huge fees and no part time of course)2. I can travel to any country in Europe with my EU visa, Europe is breath takingly beautiful and clean( India is of course very beautiful but not very clean plus not very secure for a girl to travel alone)3. I get to meet multicultural people in my dorm and university coming from all parts of the world. (I have hungarian ,greek ,pakistani ,palestinian , german ,indonesian,afghani flatmates.and this is not possible in India.There are two Pakistani guys who are my flatmates and we are best friends, in India I could not even dream of having friends across the border because of obvious reasons.)4. Lot less competition to find jobs and lowest unemployment rate( here there is good demand of IT engineers and very few available :) , reverse is the trend in India )5.Great education system , no cramming ,amazing projects and amount of practical knowledge you get is unparallel. (Lot of cramming I had done during my bachelor's and lot less practical knowledge)6.Very low crime rate. I travel anytime I want and nothing has ever happened to me.(you can not think of taking a metro in Delhi at 11 in the night)7.lot less time in getting your office work (here you can activate your bank account, extend your visa, apply for residency permit ,get your semester ticket from four different offices in half day. In India we all have faced inefficiency in government offices at some point or other but yes things are changing now :) and we have long way to go )8.You won't feel pollution in your daily life here.In Delhi and other big cities pollution level is so high that you never know when you will get asthama.9.Law and order well enforced ( people can't get away with crimes.In India we all know fates of celebrities like Salman khan and billionaires like Vijay mallya ,nothing will happen to them )10.0 interference ( people won't interfere in your business ,in India every neighbour and distant relative would worry about my marriage)11 No show off ( people are simple, and don't do things just to please or show off to society.. Whereas we all know how much people in India would spend just on a wedding to maintain their status in society ,some people are so insane that they would even consider taking loan for marriage ceremony alone. )11.I have freedom to wear anything without fear of being judged or teased.So due to these reasons I think leaving India was good decision.Why do many Indians want to leave India to settle abroad? Why is ownership of the country almost non-existent among today's youth?How is the life of Indians who settle abroad (US, UK, Canada, Australia or New Zealand)? What’s their daily life like? Is it better? Is it worth separating from their friends, relatives and country? What do they miss? Do they want to come back?How could I get out of India permanently? I literally wasted my youth just fighting for food, water, and electricity. I mean, are we living in the stone age where man still has to spend most of his time surviving?If this question would’ve been asked a couple of years ago, I may have had a different answer.But truth to be told I do want to leave. Now as I’ve read in many of the answers written by hundreds of people like no opportunity, no career, corruption etc etc. I just want tell a short extended story, so please bear with me if you are actually reading this answer out of the hundreds of answers given by various smart and mature people.The story begins in my school in 10th standard . me along with my two bro like best buddies, let’s call them S and D. So we had lot of fun in 10th and after boards it was time to take our first career move like any other Indian student. It turns out both of them wanted to become a doctor so they opted for Biology in 11th standard and me the aimless wanderer took maths Science (Courtesy of good board marks and xyz relatives advice).Fast forward 2 years later. Both of them got admission in 2 private medical colleges and I got into Computer Engineering.Things went well and we stayed in touch. As they continued their MBBS, two major incidents took place which started changing my views about not leaving the country (because I was so damn patriotic).Incident 1-S was studying MBBS in a college in Madhya Pradesh. All went well and suddenly one day, when he went home for holidays, the police entered his home and detained him for allegedly cheating in the MP PMT exam AKA the Vyapam Scam. He was earlier told that his student status might be in jeopardy due to it, but he never expected cops to be on his door.Now you might think he cheated, he deserved it, and you are only saving him because you are his friend etc etc. Truth to be told, yes I’m his bro, and that’s the reason I know that he did not cheat, fuck moral, that guy doesn’t even have stomach for it. And still if my word is not enough, then his mark sheet speaks for itself, the guy from who, he “cheated” had less marks then him (not just 2–3 marks, the difference was more then 10).The aftermath was worse. All the students (around 1200 of them) were released but their admission cancelled till the case was over. Which took over a year, between this all the murders started happening in the case and it became a media circus, which lead the inclusion of CBI. This lead to further delay of over another year as CBI was short of resources and they had to look into every student.S was shocked, sad, depressed and his condition was getting worse everyday, still that guy had faith in judicial system. Well it failed him, along with all the other students, when supreme court cancelled their admission. The criminal investigation still going on the students.Incident 2D as I mentioned also got admission in a college of Madhya Pradesh for MBBS . (By now you people might have understood we are from Madhya Pradesh). So D is studying in this college, he knew about S and he use to thank god everyday for not placing him in the wrong exam hall in the wrong time. We both always supported S and tried to cheer him up almost everyday.One day D called me and told that a student, one of his classmate died of heart attack. We felt bad until he told us the whole story.He told us that the guy had some problem of chest pain and went to see the doctor in the hospital, where he was told to get admitted in the hospital. As he was a student he had special hospital fee waiver, but the hospital did not admit him as he did not had his Student ID with him at that time. He went to his flat and by the time he decided to come back with his ID, he suffered a heart attack.Now again you can say it was his mistake, but not admitting him in hospital was a sheer negligence and if a medical student can face this , you can only imagine what others might face.Now these two story may not have exact date or exact case, figures etc. But I know for a fact that this happened. The two basic thing i.e.e Medical and Law services, that any person might need at any point of emergency in his life. I’m sorry to say but both of these things in our country are “Bhagwan Bharose”. I’m sure you can’t disagree, because this is not the first story you have seen about corruption or negligence in our country.I’m not saying that our country is bad, or as today’s trends say, I’m not an “anti national”. It’s just that I want to live a simple life with my family and friends. And neither do I want to settle or adjust in thee two basic needs nor do I want to become a crusader to fight against injustice and come out of top(if you think that’s coward or un justified just google these names - Satyendra Dubey, Shanmugam Majunathan and many more).Sharing some of real life incidents which prompted me to take this decision:Case 1:Walking in East kailash at 10:20 PM talking on my phone; two guys on bike hit me on my head with a Rod; I fell, Took my mobile; I was in pain bleeding on Road (Not so profusely); several vehicles passed, nobody stopped. Two guys came talked to me and helped me in standing up; and then said "भाई आप लकी हो, लास्ट टाइम बंदा ऊपर चला गया था इसी रोड पे… "Came back home, broken. I was living with my friends then, all working in MNCs. Went to police station, asked me 100 questions and then.. I didn't hear back anythiOk,now lets be honest for a moment.My background: Indian male in mid 20s graduated from prestigious engineering institute (hope you get it), working in an investment bank in a metropolitan Indian city. Have had couple of short trips to some developed nations in the past.These are the reasons why I want to leave India for a couple years and then come back.Money: Yeah. lets accept it. Single biggest reason, the dollars $$$. I mean, I am drawing a salary in the top 1 percentile among my age group, still I can't think of buying a house in the city I live in. If I take a loan, I'll have to literally shell out a major chunk of my salary in the EMI. On the other hand, an Indian even in an average job working in US can save enough to buy it. We have a weak currency and hence the relative cost of living in Indian cities is comparably higher.Prestige: If you go back 15 years, going or living abroad was not common for an average middle class Indian and hence there was a prestige associated with living abroad. This is the philosophy we have been fed since childhood that living in USA is the "cool" thing to do. Even today, may be subconsciously, we all have a sense of prestige associated with visiting or living abroad, which is why you see the first thing anyone does when he/she visits any foreign country is facebook check-in at the airport and then continuously upload pics.,Better quality work: Be it any field, this is the sad truth that all the better quality jobs in most fields simply don't exist in India. If you want to do some challenging quality work or some cutting edge research, there isn't much opportunity in India. Thankfully, this is changing and we see some better opportunities slowly coming to India also.Experience: This is another big reason. We have been living in India since childhood and now in our youth, we want to experience living in a foreign place which is culturally/socially/economically different. Moreover, if you want to live a non-conventional life, for example if you are LGBT, or if you want to stay unmarried for long etc. then it would be better to live abroad where you have more individualistic freedom and would be better accepted.I can't say about others but for me I'll never want to live permanently in a foreign country. I mean this is the place I belong to and identify myself. My family lives here and I can't spend my entire life as an outsider in a foreign land. So what I wish to do is live in any foreign country for a couple of years (5-6 years max) and then save enough to come back and live a peaceful life here in India. I know many would argue that once you stay abroad for a couple of years, you would not like to come back but I don't know about future and this is what I think now.Regarding the many problems that others have pointed out, ofcourse there are problems but its not like you are living in hell. India is still a very nice place to live in, especially if you earn decent enough. I mean we have been living in India since childhood and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Things are changing and we can all expect to live in an even better India in the future. So I could be wrong but I see these reasons given by others as more of "excuses".A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason.- J.P. MorganYou complain that a guy with lesser marks or more money was given admission to that medical seat which you deserved and you would have loved if the admissions had been purely on merit, fair enough. Now lets go out of India and see what happens elsewhere. Lets talk about US, lets take one of the best universities in US so lets take the example of none other than Harvard Business School. One would have assumed that the admission to the best business school in the world would be based purely on merit. The answer is No.Its a known fact that factors like Nationality/Race/Gender plays a much bigger role. The reservations at these top institutes goes in the name of "diversity benefit". A candidate from, for example, Uganda has a much better chance than a much "better" candidate from India. I would not even point out that the GMAT scores of Indians/Chinese candidates in these schools are much above the class average as then someone would point out that the admissions to these schools is based on a 'holistic' picture and not necessarily on numbers. Still, whatever the criteria you may take for "merit", almost all applicants/students/alumni/admission consultants would agree that the admission process is much much harder for Indians/Chinese especially for Indians. They would rather take a supposedly "lesser" deserving candidate if he/she is from an under-represented minority.Think about it, why should a candidate suffer if he/she is from India, a candidate from Africa/Europe who is getting admitted might be much richer with better exposure and resources. Moreover between a guy and a girl with similar profile, they would obviously admit the girl. However, if you are not from an "under-represented" minority and you do not have stellar stats,its not the end and you may still make it, you know how? if you come from an influential political family or your parents have donated millions to the school. (Jyotiraditya Scindia is a Harvard economics and Stanford MBA alumni)The idea of this comment is not to demean these institutes or complain about their policies. I totally respect them and needless to say almost all candidates admitted to these schools are well deserving. I am just trying to put things into perspective for you. You are living in a bubble if you think the world is fair.Oh absolutelyI wrote this piece over three years ago —And it still holds true.The reason for it isn’t that I don’t love my country. On the contrary, I have been, and still am, astounded by the fact that this country, an eclectic amalgam of various languages and cultures continues to survive and prosper, despite having little in common with most of the others except for a shared history of oppression. I am amazed that a country that has <2% of the world’s areLong before I was an adult, I always thought I would stay in India till my last breath. However, growing up has made me encounter problems which I don't want to face at all.1. Education woes.I am a student of an NIT. The entrance exam was a lot tougher than what is taught here. The quality of education is abysmal. There are hardly any permanent professors in my department. We are taught by some contract faculty who are least interested in teaching.Once, in the third semester, a thermodynamics teacher said this:"Now, since we all know that when pressure is constant, work done by the gas is zero, so the answer here is zero."For a few minutes , we were too bamboozled to believe that she had said this. To our utter amazement, this followed:"In adiabatic process, the change in internal energy is always zero."That class led to a huge disappointment. Most of the major things are taught in a pathetic way, with all the prestigious students losing interest in studies.All we care about are MARKS. And SGPA. It disheartens me so much. It's so depressing to be present in a system where you are judged by your grades and grades come by remembering a few facts in the subjects. No logics.2. CorruptionIt's everywhere. Not just in politics or government sectors.I know a few people around me who completely support the cause of corruption.The reasons given by them are so selfish and amoral that they might make you weep there and then.I get to see it in so many forms and at so many places and there's nothing I can do but feel helpless about it absolutely.In college fests, when you go for a driving license, in order to get your name first in a waiting list at a doctor's, railways, food checking, the infrastructure of the college.Everywhere. It's fucking everywhere.3. Let's say no to PDA.Even if you are found with a person of an opposite gender at a secluded area, the chances of you getting caught by the police for "unethical actions" is pretty high.Forget holding hands or kissing (that's a serious offence) - you can't even walk close.People charge you at the cost of your privacy.Sick and disgusting.4.Security issuesIf a woman wants to be safe (doesn't want to be sexually harassed in any manner) she should :1. Dress "decently" and "properly". Preferably, cover everything possible except the eyes. Oh no, wait! Eyes too. Put on sunglasses.We don't want our menfolk to be aroused.2. Come back home before sunset.3.Shlouldn't date. And shouldn't have any male friends.4. Never travel alone5. Remain silent to all the lewd remarks and make no big issue of the ogling. You're a woman. Deal with it.6. Don't let her pursue higher education because that might make her want to work. What's the need ? Stay at home.If she still gets raped, she has got to be truly characterless. You see, it's never the rapist's fault. Never.Note: If you didn't get it, that's sarcasm above.5. Politics and government.No matter which party you vote for, there would be some amount of electricity cuts, extremely bad roads at certain places, less water supply, poor administration, disorganization, empty promises.No matter what amount of taxes we pay, we won't see their true utilization.6. Overlapping social differences.We have started the Mars mission. But we are still not sorted with the issues on the Earth.Even in the present modern world, we greatly take into account religion, caste, creed, regionalism. Forget inter-religion marriages, the society doesn't even approve of inter-caste marriages !Before falling in love, make sure that your lover is of the same religion.And the same caste, and the same sub-caste and the same sub-sub -caste ! :D7. Pressurized living.With the ever increasing population, increases the competition.Competition so high that it makes you cry. It's worse because it's not even fair.Now read and listen very carefully!No matter what you individual Indian think or crave for the but INDIA IS GOING TO FELL MORE AND MORE..Learn from HITLER , STALIN , MAO , CHINA , GERMANY , JAPAN , this country country destroyed in world war again and again leader raised filled heart of people with Patriotism nationalism they become Major economy power in the WorldThis land Bharat varsha is epic history of ravanna and Rama , even the ravaana was most evil guy in the world he Controlled 9 realams , different planets most powerful , after death of ravanna the Rama said to his brother to learn from ravanna …May be mao , Stalin , Hitler , imperial Japan worst monster dictators but we have to learn..You see in history back in time the Europeans are butchering each other in name of superiority , religion , money , now they achieved everything power economic development , technology.. You see when Germany economy was getting collapse , Hitler raised captured nearby land forced people to develop technology but not in case of india it's same peasent for centuries …When I say diversity is not strength , religion is waste in 21st century , you need better genetic / genomic , wipeout culture And different languages , wipeout 100 crore population of india to have good life , people take it as threat..The problem with Indians is they get very defensive and never really implement solutions for these problems. You can say the lack of credibility in some of the links ive used. But the truth still remains the truth whether you like it or not. Only a coward would run away from it. Usually Indians will get politically correct as people have posted above and brag about the accomplishments of a tiny minority of East Indians. But for a better India we have to accept the reality of us as a people. Political correctness is just a form of cruelty because you can only believe a lie for so long.No matter run as far as you can run .. no one will Stop you … ( how long you can jump over the hardwork of ancestor of Europeans by ditching your ancestor of your own may be didn't worked hard as Europeans)Country is builded by it's people not by someone else… if again this country lost sovereignty to its own people or any foreigner enslaved , killed , starved to death it will solely problem of Indians who never worked for country..remember overpopulation also can kill nation and motherland where mother can't able to feed you.Youu're enslaved by your own mentality , or more you're enslaved by your own moral value , religion , government , prejudice , discrimination …w.eak people will fail get colonised , conquered , face death… never know what will happen…This is dream’ of every 2nd indian who don't like tradition ,ritual , religion , living standard , patriotism , their own ancestor … now days I think..Sacrifice for freedom from British Empire , we thinked that we can have best government which is better than British but eventually it become false , people love to live in USA UK Canada which are British colony And heavily influenced by British culture tradition rituals , so no matter it's bound to happen ..Jhansi , bhagat Singh , many more…This people thinked that we will great if we get rid of British and establish our government but this all things become turn to become worse …When Churchill said this… that Indians are breeding like rabbits which will cost Thier future in mass hunger , starvation everyone get angry but anyone tried to learn from enemy… NOPEAnyone tried to learn from enemy never ever never .. even your god Rama told his brother to learn from his enemy Ravana , did any did this??? NopeDid anyone learn nope.. this is why I admire Chinese , Japanese so much..Eventually people faithfully accept this I don't any problem. Wearing suit , speak English Japanese french , but ask who yourself who you are?..Our country name is Bharat or Bharat federation not India..

Love yourself first. It is even Okay to treat yourself real good with hookers from This SiteDon’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.