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Disclaimer: People who speak and understand Punjabi will be able to relate to it more easily.I was in Amritsar last month to visit the Golden Temple with my family. One day I went to the nearby market to shop for some stuff all by myself. As I entered the suit shop, I saw two guys standing there. They looked at me and started whispering something to each other.As I was busy selecting and rejecting suit pieces, I heard one of them say this –“Ae teri pharjaayi ae. Dekhin kinni sohni ae.”(She is your sister-in-law. Look, she is so beautiful.)”To this, the other guy said –“Oh jaa oye. Meri pharjaayi te ghar baitthi ae. Ae teri pharjaayi ae.”(My sister-in-law is back home. She is your sister-in-law)Of course, being a Punjabi, I was able to understand each and everything but I kept quiet. I bought two suits, and when I was about to leave, I turned to them and said –“Veer ji, twadda jija Dilli baithha ae. Gall karawaan?”(Brother, your brother-in-law is in Delhi. Shall I make you two talk to him?) :DThey almost had a jaw drop when they heard me say that. While leaving, I told them that I could understand and speak Punjabi well. We all had a good laugh.

X Æ A-12What in the quadratic formula kinda name is that?Sounds like the name of an android not a baby boy.If you haven't heard, Elon Musk and Claire Boucher, better known as her stage name “Grimes” have recently had their first child together.An adorable baby boy. So pure. So innocent.When someone on Twitter asked on Monday what they named their son, Musk tweeted, "X Æ A-12 Musk."Musk is known for posting jokes and memes on Twitter, and it wouldn't be much of a surprise if the baby's name is a joke (obviously comedy gold).But eventually Grimes posted on Twitter explaining its meaning, and wow…just…wow…They named their son after an algebraic variable, a letter in ELVEN spelling, and a military aircraft?This is hilarious.No, seriously let's just take a moment to appreciate this.This baby will go his entire childhood with a name that sounds like a refrigerator model.Imagine how weird it's gonna be when the teacher asks the children what their names mean and everyone else is just like “giver of life” and “bearer of kindness” and you get this kid who's stand up like “My parents’ favourite military aircraft!”And that's assuming he's proud of it.Imagine the teasing.Teacher writing a sum on the board: Alright now who can find X?*Random student raises hand*Teacher: Yes, Kevin.Kevin *points at X Æ A-12*: There it is!!*Whole class bursts into laughter*I can already see kids making airplane gestures as they walk past him in the hallways giggling.Or children greeting him in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice like in Terminator: Good morning, prototype X Æ A-12, I am the Cyberdyne Systems Model 101, otherwise known as the T-800.”Oh, the horror.Any bully’s work will be wonderfully cut out for them.Personally I lose respect for parents when they name their children anything that will get the child bullied.I hope for X Æ A-12’s sake, he's homeschooled.Love Z

“If aliens came to fight our planet would all countries put aside their differences to join forces to fight them?”If aliens came to fight our planet we would not stand a chance in hell.People usually envision aliens attacking our planet like in Independence Day the movie, with huge ships bombarding cities, and small fliers engaging our military.Like this oneAnd this one.While in reality, it would probably be something like this:An alien spaceship (whatever it’s going to look like) hovers somewhere in space, some 15 light-minutes away from the Earth. Its crew are veterans, conquerors who have bested hundreds of worlds. This tiny ball of life stands absolutely no chance, and preparations have finished for the attack.Alien Ensign: “Okay sir, we can proceed to use our high-capacity laser beams to systematically target population centers and military bases. Rotation of the planet has been accounted for and firing can begin.”Alien Captain: “Very good. Proceed.”(15 minutes later)AE: “Sir, the first shots are landing and hitting targets as planned. With the energy pulses consisting of photon bursts, they have absolutely no technology capable of predicting where the next strike will be.”AC: “Very good. Proceed.”(A few hours later)AE: “Sir, we appear to be picking up periodic radio waves coming from the planet, directing at us. Our science equipment is analyzing the signal, and it appear… sir, it appears they are trying to get a signal inside of our computers, possibly in an attempt to destabilize the system.”AC: “But our computers have not communicated in radio waves for centuries.”AE: “They… don’t seem to realize that, sir.”AC: “And even if they did, we run a 5 petaquad conversion security system here. Are they seriously trying to override that with their primitive pre-quantum age technology?”AE: “They appear to be more stubborn than smart, Sir.”(Several hours later)AE: “Sir, we are detecting several projectiles breaking loose of the planet’s sphere of influence, on a general trajectory for our location. Scans indicate that they are containing devices made to harness the reduction of uranium in order to fuse hydrogen, which would create significant amounts of heat and radiation.”AC: “What? Why wasn’t I informed of this before!? Evasive maneuvers!”AE: “Erm, sir? The projectiles actually won’t reach us out here for another year or so.”AC: “…”AE: “They seem to use a propulsion system known as “rockets”, sir. It’s horribly inefficient, working by pushing matter at a high velocity one way in order to accelerate in the other. They do not seem to have graviton-technology or even quantum propulsors yet.”AC: “…”AE: “I should probably mention that, since they do not have quantum technology, our shield would be completely impervious to this type of attack anyway.”AC: “I am going to take a nap. Wake me up when their planet is gone.”AE: “Sweet dreams, sir. Ah, sir? If you’ll forgive my asking, why are we attacking a civilization so hilariously below our technology level that they haven’t even unlocked interstellar travel yet?”AC: “Our intelligence service got fed up with reading examples of how ignorant their species can be, so they convinced the supreme leader to wipe out the planet and let them listen to somewhere interesting.”