Behavior Contract: Fill & Download for Free

As a teacher at a private religious school, there are certain things that I just can't say on Quora.For example, if I were to:Be skeptical about certain Christian beliefs, ethics, and moralsTalk about a specific student, even without identifying detailsReveal liberal views on intimacy and LGBT identitiesCriticize anything about my workplace, supervisors, or fellow teachersOtherwise ruin my character as a role model for childrenI would run the risk of losing my job. I like my job.There's a very small chance that a student, their parents, or a school administrator will someday discover my writing on Quora. If I were to write something that violates the strict moral/spiritual/behavioral contract I signed when hired, I could easily be fired.If, let's say, I disagreed with making people sign such a contract, even that I couldn't say on Quora.

I don’t.That said, some students make my job almost infinitely more challenging. These students disrupt my classroom, treat me with incredible rudeness, and are generally difficult to manage.But it’s really important not to engage in that behavior emotionally. It’s hard not to sometimes (believe me!) but you should never do this. The minute that kid gets under your skin, you’ve lost the battle.I find that the best strategy for dealing with “disruptors” is to go Darth Vader on them. Essentially:Respond with unflappable calmness tinged with a tiny bit of mystery.Set clear guidelines for behavior with pre-determined outcomes for failure to comply.Make sure those outcomes include involving parents, coaches, administrators, counselors, and most importantly MORE time in your classroom, not less. You don’t want that kid to think you want them gone…you want that kid to think if they fool around they get to spend even more time with you because you love it.Otherwise, mostly ignore the child when behavior is bad and praise when it is good.I’ve had dozens of students try to run my classroom over the years - these are usually the students other teachers say they “hate”. In the end, these students usually say they hate me, but mostly because for 40 weeks I end up saying things like “I find your behavior…unacceptable” and “Please desist and be seated” in my best, calm, unflappable voice.They find it maddening, but their attempts to undermine me and the process are wasted energy. Some eventually give up, but others try all year.My favorite example of this one was a 10th grade chemistry student who seemed nearly incapable of behaving in an appropriate way. Within a month he had a behavior contract which involved me emailing mom and counselor and administrator every time his behavior was outside of the guidelines. This happened nearly daily, so the list of emails grew enormous. He swore at me, told me how stupid I was, sang or yelled at the top of his lungs, etc. Anything to get a rise out of me. And all year I said the same thing: “Your behavior is in violation of your contract. If you do not stop immediately, I’ll be forced to write you another referral.”40 weeks of this. No change in behavior. He failed both semesters and I figured that he was one of those students who “got away”. Nothing I tried worked.The next year he shows up on day 1 of Physics. He sits down and I start my opening lesson. Within 10 minutes he is up to his old tricks. Luckily I knew he was on my list and already had printed out a behavior contract. As he is disrupting my room I quietly walk to my desk, take the contract, and put it on his desk. I lower my voice as deep and soft as it will go so my fellow Wolverine James Earl Jones softly intones from the depths of my core, “Welcome back.”He loses it. Flips his desk, gets up and, as he goes to leave, says “I fucking quit! I just can’t win with this guy!”He never returned, and I feel some sadness about it. I wonder sometimes if I couldn’t do more to help him. But while he never learned much science from me, I hope he learned that being disruptive like that doesn’t always get you what you want. If he did, then I accomplished something.Disruptive kids are like “War Games”: the only way to win is not to play.

Why does rude behavior come into it? Did you swap therapists because one of you was rude to the other?Basically, a behavioral contract in psychotherapy simply and clearly lays out expectations and responsibilities. For example, a contract might be not to attempt suicide but instead to phone the therapist or go to emergency care. Another contract might involve showing up for appointments on time or cancelling at least 24 hours in advance. Someone who has trouble sticking to their medication plan might be asked to make a contract to take all their meds as prescribed, not skipping any and not taking anything that wasn’t prescribed.A behavioral contract is simply a formal statement of what you need to do for the therapy to progress. It’s a way of showing that therapy and psychiatric treatment isn’t something that the clinician does to the patient/client, but a cooperative venture, and it spells out your side of it. The clinician’s side is to provide ethical, appropriate treatment within the boundaries you have discussed together.There is no shame in being asked to make a contract with your clinician. Especially if it’s written down, it’s a way to make sure that everyone is on the same page about what may and may not be done within the therapeutic relationship.