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“7583 seconds,” my dad said to three-year old me, kicking the car into gear.I ran the numbers through my head, scrunching up my face as I quickly broke the number into pieces. The computation only took a couple moments. “2 hours, 6 minutes, and 23 seconds,” I replied proudly.My dad thought for a while, then said, “Good!”“Another one!” I begged, bouncing in my car seat.“Okay. Uh.. 5162 seconds.”This one was a bit trickier, but I was still confident. “1 hour, 26 minutes, and 2 seconds!”“Nice!” my dad told me. I beamed at his praise.As years have gone by, my expertise in these time-related calculations has faded away. Algebra and geometry and combinatorics have invaded the areas of my brain that used to be designated for mental math. But I'll always treasure the open-mouthed gazes I would earn with just a simple bit of memorization.Additionally, when I was a toddler I could put my feet in my mouth, but now I can only do that figuratively.

Updated 4/2 as Desiree Marietta somehow reminded me that I forgot to include the pork & chicken..I used think that Chinese eat weird stuff. Then I got introduced to some food in Japan. Here were a few things that I had trouble swallowing, even with the help of lots of alcohol…Shirako (白子・fish sperm sack) - AKA by the fancy names of “milt or soft roe”, Shirako usually comes from cod or monkfish. It’s the only one on this list that I’ve yet to try. Per James Melbourne, it’s supposed to be creamy and delicious… I’ve no doubt about the “creamy” part… ;)Basashi (馬刺し・raw horse meat) - Originated in Kyushu during the battle for Kumamoto Castle in 1877 when samurais were under siege in the castle for 53 days. With no food left, they resorted to eating raw horse meat so it became a Kyushu delicacy. It’s now pretty common throughout Japan. How would I describe it? One word, “chewy”.Butazashi (豚刺し・pork sashimi) - Yup, raw pork. Your Japanese friend will urge you to try it because it’s very safe… but you’ll want to vomit just at the thought of eating this. I managed to chew a small piece… And the taste? It tasted like uncooked pork.Torisashi (鳥刺し・ chicken sashimi) - That’s right, raw chicken… In recent years, restaurants serving Jitori (地鳥 / regional chicken) from certain prefectures like Miyazaki or Kagoshima have become all the rage. And Torisashi is a staple in these places. It had a crunchy texture. But what about salmonella, you might ask? Oh, your Japanese host will reassure you that they don’t exist in “Japanese chicken”… Heck, they must be right because I’m still around posting this ;) ;)Nankotsu Kurokoshou Itame (軟骨黒胡椒炒め・stir fry black pepper chicken cartilage) - The only cooked dish on this list, it had a soft/crunchy texture. After one or two pieces, you’re ready to move onto the next dish… It’s a late night drinking food (and hopefully you’re already pretty drunk by then.)Koi no arai (鯉の洗い・carp sashimi) - The carp is sliced up and “washed” in ice water to lock in a “crunchy” texture. Popular in Kyoto, it is served in the summer as a cooling food. It definitely had what the Japanese call 泥臭い (dorokusai / mud stench.) I don’t think I managed more than three slices before calling it quits. BTW, while carp is considered a garbage fish in the US, it is a prized fish in Asia.Nama rebaa (生レバー・raw pork/beef liver) - A friend took me to one of those narrow, back alleys in Shinjuku and told me I had to try it because it’s sooo good… I knew it would be fresh and safe, but that was not the point. I got queasy just looking at it. Not wanting to be a bad sport, I stared at it for a long while then put it in my mouth and chewed. Then I washed it down with lots of shochu. It was definitely “crunchy”…Kobukuro sashi (子袋刺し・raw pork uterus) - Yup, you read that correctly! The same guy who had me eat the raw liver introduced me to this in the same joint. I was starting to question my choice in friends... You sprinkle some shichimi (七味・7 flavor chili pepper) on it and wash it down with lots and lots of shochu, or at least I did! And what does it taste like you might ask? One word - “crunchy”. Starting to see a pattern here with these food?Buta no Kougan zashi (豚の睾丸刺し・raw pig testicle) - Yes, I’m admitting here to my fellow Quorans that I actually ate this. Remember, by this point I’d already had the raw liver and uterus - so what’s one more right? Same friend, same joint, lots of Shochu AND, yes, it was “crunchy”!!! But hey, I lived to talk about it, right?And once you know that these delicacies exist, you will start to realize that they’re offered in way too many Izakayas… which means that Japanese are eating them!And you thought the Chinese eat weird stuff - the majority of them would not touch any of the above.BTW, if you’ve made it to the end without vomiting, give yourself a medal. I almost didn’t while recalling some of these events…

I cannot solve complex calculus problems, I cannot comprehend the many laws of physics, I cannot write heartfelt, poignant poetry. I cannot smack home runs, I cannot swim for several miles, I cannot sink 10 free throws in a row. I cannot bake delicious chocolate cakes, I cannot impeccably play an instrument, I cannot paint masterpieces.I cannot take beautiful, scenic photographs, I cannot sing by any figment of the imagination, I cannot dance normally without falling down. I cannot ski without being overcome with an intense fear of hitting a tree, I cannot bike downhill at a pace which my mom and brother do not deem incredibly slow. I cannot speak more than one language fluently. I cannot name all 195 countries (let alone their capitals). I cannot correctly decide what goes in compost and what goes in recycling.However…I can wield a flyswatter with tenacity, expertise, and deftness unmatched by anyone I know.Boom. Ivy Leagues, here I come.