California, Approving Engineer'S Report For: Fill & Download for Free

1. From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queueUnknown aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!"Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"2. In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71/ Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes:"I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (his back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California, 13 miles up. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft and the Los Angeles Air Traffic Control Center as we entered the Los Angeles area airspace. Though they didn't really control us, the Center did monitor our movement across their scope.I heard a single-engine Cessna ask for a read-out of its ground speed."90 knots," Center replied.Moments later, a Twin Beech requested the same.“120 knots," Center answered.We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day; as almost instantly an F/A-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout." There was a slight pause, then the response,"525 knots on the ground, Dusty."Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, when I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause...."Aspen 20, I show 1,742 knots."There were no further ground speed inquiries.- - - -In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 600 (flight level 60,000 ft). The incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How exactly do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet?"The pilot (obviously a sled driver) responded, "Center, we were hoping to descend to it." He was cleared immediately....For Reference this is a SR-71 Blackbird3. While taxiing at London Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauder-dale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew,screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?""Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded.Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:Wasn't I married to you once?"4. A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."Edit(1): Adding moreA student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar,ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."!United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got that Fokker in sight."For months after California's Northridge earthquake of 1994, aftershocks rocked the San Fernando Valley and Van Nuys Airport. One morning about three weeks after the initial quake there was a particularly sharp aftershock.Moments later on Van Nuys' ground control frequency: "Uh, four-three-kilo would like to file a pilot report for moderate turbulence on the east taxiway..."Leaving Palo Alto one Friday. A Citabria had just landed:PAO: 85 Uniform, Taxi to position and hold.XX: Position and hold, 85 Uniform.Citabria: Umm, Tower, there's a dead seagull on the right side of the runway near the windsock.PAO: Roger. 85 Uniform, cleared for takeoff. Watch for a dead seagull on the right side of the runway.XX: 85 Uniform, Dead seagull traffic in sight.A little later, the Citabria was downwind when heard:PAO: Citabria 123, cleared to land 30. Caution - there's a buzzard trying to eat the seagull on the runway.Edit(2): Adding few moreController: "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Centre 135.60.(pause)Controller: "USA353 contact Cleveland Centre 135.60!"(pause)Controller: "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!"Pilot: "Centre, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!"Tower: "Hotel Papa Oscar climb four thousand to six thousand and maintain."Pilot: "Hotel Papa Oscar, climbing flight level 100."Tower: "Hotel Papa Oscar, climb to flight level 60 and maintain."Pilot: "But four plus six is ten, isn't it?"Tower: "You should climb, not add up."Tower: "Aircraft on final, go around, there's an aircraft on the runway!"Pilot Trainee: "Roger" (pilot continues approach)Tower: "Aircraft, I said GO AROUND!!!"!Pilot Trainee: "Roger"The trainee doesn't react, lands the aircraft on the numbers, rolls to a twin standing in the middle of the runway, goes around the twin and continues to the taxiway.BB: "Barnburner 123, Request 8300 feet."Bay Approach: "Barnburner 123, say reason for requested altitude."BB: "Because the last 2 times I've been at 8500, I've nearly been run over by some bozo at 8500 feet going the wrong way!"Bay: "That's a good reason. 8300 approved."Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?Pilot: Negativ, Sir. It's only the same pilot.NY Ctr: "Federal Express 235, descend, maintain three one zero, expect lower in ten miles."FedEx 235: "Okay, outta three five for three one oh, FedEx two thirty-five."NY Ctr: "Delta fahv twuntee, climb one ninah zeruh, dat'll be finah..."Delta 520: "Uhh... up to one niner zero, Delta five twenty."NY Ctr: "Al-italia wonna sixxa, you slowa to two-a-fifty, please."Alitalia 16: "HEY! You makea funna Alitalia?!"NY Ctr: "Oh, no! I make-a funna Delta anna FedEx!"From Brad White, June 2007 - One to share, from an uncle who was in the USAF until retiring several years ago. No other attribution unfortunately but here it is. A near miss occurred outside of Dulles International. The conversation went along these lines...Pilot: "DAMN! That was close..."IAD Tower: "Delta 560, what seems to be the problem?"Pilot (catching his breath), "Near miss- was he ever close!"IAD Tower: "Delta 560, how close was it?"Pilot: "Well, I can tell you one thing, it was a white boy flying it."Source: Funny Pilot - ATC Conversations

ANSWERED 10 JUNE 2017 - UPDATED 14 OCTOBER 2019—I have no regrets about joining the military.However, I do regret that I did not stay in the reserves and retire. My professional life conflicted with my reserve commitment, so I got out after 12 years total time (3 years active service). Looking back, I could have stayed in the reserves and made it work with my professional life.Bear with me while I wax a bit about my father.My father was a Sgt Major, 33 years, USMC (1933–1966). When he graduated from High School, he had earned a college scholarship but it didn’t cover room and board. He wanted to be a medical doctor, but it was 1933 and the middle of the Great Depression. Jobs, even part time jobs, were few, so he enlisted. He chose the Marines because there was no waiting list. The other branches had waiting that ranged from 8 months for the Army to 12 months for the Navy).After his first enlistment, the Depression was still going strong, so he shipped over. When Pearl Harbor was bombed, he was an NCO and a committed Marine.After the war, he didn’t want to lose his service time, so he stayed in. Then Korea came. By then, he was a top sergeant with 14 years active service. As I said above, he stayed in and retired an E-9 Sergeant Major in 1966.During his 33 years as a Marine, he fought in a lot of battles—the Caribbean and China campaigns in the 1930’s, and as a Marine Raider on Guadalcanal in WWII. After the Raiders were disbanded, he served in regular Fleet Marine Force (FMF) units for the balance of the war. By the time WWII ended, he had been in four additional campaigns (New Georgia, Tarawa, Guam, and Okinawa). He also fought in the Chosin Reservoir Campaign in Korea.He won 5 Purple Hearts, and many awards for valor. His body was full of scars. He liked to say with typical humor that they were a road map of his military service.I write this about my father’s service because my decision to join the Marines has a history that begins with my father on Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base, California.My father raised our family in base housing on Camp Pendleton. By age 14 he had taught my 2 brothers and me to shoot every hand held weapon in the Marine Corps, and some weapons that were not in service. He also taught us to use the 75mm recoiless rifle (we called it Reckless). In addition, he taught my brothers and me to hike, ride horses, swim, scuba dive, and snow ski (both alpine and cross country). He also taught us survival skills in high mountain winter cold (at Pickle Meadows in the Sierra, and mid-summer desert heat at 29 Palms).(California is an amazing state. In case you didn’t know, the highest and lowest elevations in the Continental U.S. are Mt. Whitney and Death Valley, and they are only 60 miles apart).My father also taught us to love reading and classical music. One of his favorites was Van Loon’s Geography. He had me read this on my 13th birthday and write a book report for him. He was charitable and gave me an A.By age 16, I was determined to be a Marine for life. So at 17, I joined, and my mother gave approval. (There was no war, and she knew there was no stopping me). I had the grades to go to the Naval Academy. Why I didn’t go is a long story. The short version is I was stubborn and knew more than the adults in the room, including my parents.After Boot Camp at MCRD, San Diego, the next phase is infantry training in Camp Pendleton. Back then, it was called ITR-Infantry Training Regiment. After ITR, you went to a regular unit. I went to a Rifle Company in the 1st Marine Division, Camp Pendleton. I felt like I was coming home.As I said, I wanted to be a lifer. But, my company commander said no. “Get out, and go to college,” he said. “If you still want to be a Marine, come back as an officer.”So I got out, went to college, stayed in the Reserves, went to graduate school, earned a PhD, and became a college professor. However, there’s another part of the story.After college, and before Grad School, I volunteered for a tour in Vietnam. I didn’t have to go. They weren’t calling up the Reserves, and as a Reservist, I was draft exempt. I won’t go into this part of the story. Suffice to say, Vietnam is an unforgettable part of my life. I still have flashbacks (helicopters, and loud noises, like engine backfires, take me back), but, basically, I’m ok.Elsewhere on Quora, I’ve written that Vietnam was the wrong war, with the wrong enemy, in the wrong place, and at the wrong time in history. I also said that the U.S. may not have won the Vietnam War, but we didn’t lose the fire fights. Whether they were in the field, the jungle, the air, on the rivers, or the ocean, we won the fights. Indeed, we clobbered them everywhere we fought them, but to win a war, you need more than the ability to fight. You have to have the will. They did. We didn’t. It was their war. It was never our war.Do I regret joining the military? Absolutely not!Semper Fi,JE, PhD, Political Science (Political Theory, Economics, History, Mathematics)“Old Corps, New Corps, Same Corps”

A better equation would be:Where do you work? Is any public transit leaving you off close to the door, or would you have to drive? Can you two carpool together or are you going in different directions each morning? Because if you’re driving, you need to keep the freeway traffic in mind. If there’s only one route in/out, I guarantee you will not be happy campers. Stress like that is killer.Do you have kids and want to avoid paying for private schools? All good school districts have higher RE values. There are no ‘hidden gems’ in this category.Find a good RE agent and get them to start looking in the areas that make your second cut. Get pre-approved for the loan. Do the full paperwork. Get the max you can. When you find something, you must jump on it to muscle past the all-cash offers.Tell the agent you know there will be a bidding war, so you are looking at homes $75–100K under what you were approved for.Remember you will have expenses: property taxes, utilities, insurance, special district assessments, remodels/improvements (whatever figure you have for that, double it. Tripling would be safer).Find out where the area gets its water (it’s important for a number of reasons, not the least of which, we pay 3x our actual water bill for earthquake improvements to the infrastructure, which are sorely needed). Be aware that drainage can be a very big issue with older homes closer in; especially in the hills (in any Bay Area city). J. Long mentions Santa Rosa, which would have been true before the big Oct 2017 wildfires. It’s a great time to buy one of the burnt-out lots, but probably not a SFH there. But a good reminder: fire can be a huge danger. Always check out what’s around any property you’re interested in.It was very common in the 1940’s and earlier to use “soft concrete” for foundations. The stuff is like adobe: you can take a chisel to it and break it apart in chunks. Try really hard to avoid those charming cottages with structural problems that cost a fortune to correct.Whatever compromises you make, it is far better to remodel the interior of a home than to do ANYTHING to the exterior of it. Most cities will make you bring your home to current earthquake-proofing standards if you change the exterior (or add a floor; take my advice and don’t do it). Even the engineering report will set you back several grand. We live halfway up a hill and our neighbor just spent $75K on sinking pilings along the downslope between our properties, in order to do a $70K remodel that bumped the exterior out less than 3′ and built a small enclosed shed (not an in-law) for an office, with electrical (yeah, there was a panel upgrade in there, too - another $3K).Honestly, if I were buying today rather than in 1989: I’d buy a condo. For the same price as my home there’s some great new buildings to choose from. But we don’t have kids, so it’s an easy decision for us.For those who say, “I don’t want to live in any apartment, even if I own it - I’m not sharing a wall with anybody!” - well, you obviously have not lived for four years next to a rental home full of low lifes who dealt drugs. You have no idea how grateful I am for gentrification, LOL.