Wherever You Are, We: Fill & Download for Free

In the summer of 2003 I had a serious car accident. I'd passed my test only 3 weeks prior. According to the Police investigation, the car was doing 60mph when it lost control and it went broadside into a 4x4 which was doing 50mph. The collision made a Nissan X-Trail shaped impression in the passenger side of my little Peugeot 106 and the impact twisted the passenger seat—in which was sat one of my best friends—almost 90 degrees.We had just fuelled up for a drive to our nearest city when our vehicles collided on a country road, mine thrown over a bank and coming to rest in a field. The hot exhaust pipe pierced the petrol tank and highly flammable fuel was leaking everywhere. It must have been particularly difficult for the rescuers when using the Jaws of Life to cut us both out.The local Air Ambulance was on staff changeover at the time so a nearby RAF Search and Rescue Sea King and a Police helicopter were dispatched to transport us both individually. We were both in a critical condition at this time and were airlifted to hospital as fast as possible.The medical professionals were waiting for us when we arrived and rushed us through to ITU. I don't remember any of this, it’s just what I've been told. When the assessment started I was doing one thing which meant I had a chance of survival so was Blue Lighted to a specialist hospital—with one free bed—about an hour away. My friend, however, was too badly injured and was pronounced dead a number of hours later.Mum had the difficult task of breaking this to me shortly after we both burst into tears upon my recognition of her some weeks thereafter. The consultants had warned my parents to prepare for their son as being unable to walk, talk, or even identify them again and had been advised to withhold any details about my friend until I had asked.Mum and I spent several days following this in an oscillating state of anxiety, pain, fear, and confusion. I would often drift in and out of the room, essentially undergoing a reset and would have to be reminded of where I was and what had happened each time I regained consciousness. It must have been so hard for Mum.Once inside the specialist hospital, I was plugged into a life support machine which is where I stayed, unconscious, for six weeks. Obviously, your question is going to receive different answers as everyone has had different experiences which are true to themselves, but I remember two things from being in a coma:1) The moment the medical professionals had to usher my parents out of the room due to the fact they thought they were going to lose me, I remember looking down on myself. There were several people working around my bed but it was completely peaceful where I was. I think I recall someone using the word, "bliss", in a previous answer and I can't think of a better word to describe it. Time became an irrelevant concept — it just didn't matter anymore. There was no pressure from anything; no obligation to be anywhere or do anything. I was one-step removed from everyday reality, just observing. I remember to my left was the most pure and nourishing white light coming from a window…I later learned that I had been given some of the most powerful drugs known to the NHS to shrink my vital organs as my brain was swelling to a dangerous degree. I am still unsure whether this contributed to the hallucinations I experienced but I feel that is a somewhat trivial thing to concern yourself with following such an experience. You become aware of the fragility of life. The beauty in simplicity. The appreciation of silence. The appreciation of space. The appreciation of relationships. The deeper connectedness.That which you once considered important becomes embarrassingly insignificant and that which you once took for granted become greatly treasured.Of course, this didn't come straight away. I got severely depressed sometime after being discharged from hospital. Nothing mattered anymore. I bounced off the walls of the house with absolutely no absolutely interest in doing anything anymore. It got to a point whereby Mum stepped in and, after gaining my consent, contacted a Neuro-Linguistic Programmer.Some weeks later, whilst sat in the room with the therapist, we established that I was blaming myself for my friend's death and, together, we relived the thoughts and emotions I had associated with the event. We thoroughly revisted the event and collected the thoughts of blame into one place—assigning a colour and a shape to them—which then travelled down my arm and out of my body. I have, of course, simplified it for the purpose of answering the question. I remember walking out of that building, looking up at the sky, and being able to breathe for the first time in a long time.Self-development and working on myself has since become an essential form of entertainment. I get so much satisfaction out of managing my condition and do so very competently. I now live as mindfully as possible and meditate regularly.I understand that everyone is different but, at our core, we do share some fundamental similarities. Whilst being careful not to adopt a dogmatic approach to such a singular activity, I would encourage others—whether they have been through a stressful event or not—to try a similar thing. I find that mindfulness meditation has been so effective at connecting with and grounding myself that it'd be selfish of me not to share.By sitting with yourself and your thoughts you find out who you really are as opposed to settling for who the world thinks you should be.This journey all begins by setting aside some time each day to be by yourself, sitting and watching your own breath; it really was as straightforward, and as challenging, as that.2) Whilst in a coma I also remember my brother sitting in the corner of the room in tears. This was particularly notable due to the fact he isn't usually one to show his emotions. At this time, I had been unconscious for four to five weeks and had been transferred to ITU; my eyes would sometimes open, but behind them, “I” was nowhere to be seen.I was still on life support at this time as my brain wasn't even working enough to instruct my body to breathe. It's interesting to think that something must have been online—however temporarily—for me to remember the event of my brother crying, though…I am still in recovery 12-and-a-half years later (as of the original edit dated 30 Nov 2015) and experience an unreliable short-term memory; an emotional memory that more than makes up for this lack of cognitive function; balance issues; a poor gait; intense physical pain that often occurs in my hip, knee, and foot; emotional lability; delayed cognition and, more notably, a high level of fatigue. I find I can't deal with too much stimulus post head injury and often crave silence and simplicity.Regardless of all of this, I do feel lucky to have been that close to death and lived to tell the tale.There are many things I have lost from going through the above experience but also a great many I have gained. If my friend was here now he would very likely welcome the attitude. He was a true one-of-a-kind always on the hunt for adventure, be that with cars, motorbikes, the ladies, dodgy electronics or even the occasional recreational substance. If there was something going on, he would often have an involvement. He was great fun to be around.Depression does creep up on me from time to time and I occasionally get overwhelmed to the point whereby I feel as if there is a universe of thought inside my head which I have been forced to navigate around in a beaten-up old spaceship that's running low on fuel, but I am learning these are the moments whereby I need to stop and listen to myself. These are the moments whereby I need to stop sludging through whatever it is I'm wrestling with and get in touch with who I am again. Not my thoughts; not my emotions; but with myself.These are the moments whereby I need to stop and identify whether I am being swept away in the flow of someone else's life and, if so, what I need to do to correct it.These are the moments whereby I need to cultivate a growth mindset rather than continue wallowing in a fixed one. Switch from a problem-focus to a solution-focus.I have always had a tendency to value my independence but my head injury and subsequent disabilities seem to have ramped this up somewhat. I work hard to keep my vibration high and thrive on doing as much by myself as possible. My parents themselves have said that I am like I have always been but “turned up to 11.”This has been especially difficult for me, I have noticed, in long-term relationships. I give everything I have to life and work tirelessly to keep on top of myself and rectify my shortcomings. After a few months of diluting this focus and sharing these energies with someone else—by the time I realise that we are vibrating at very different frequencies and have been expending a lot of unnecessary energy explaining ourselves and largely misunderstanding where each other are coming from—I see my life stretching out before me on a set of rails that are leading further away from where I need to be. My subconscious has been wrestling with this knowledge for a lot longer than I am consciously aware but I am far too exhausted from battling with myself to do anything about it. I become a passenger in my own life, as it were, both figuratively and literally.I do now feel I have been through the above lessons enough times to have established what works for me and I am now confident in moving forwards with these learnings, a little stronger and, I would like to think, wiser.The most important relationship, I have come to realise, is the one we have with ourselves. There is no better use of our time and energy than finding out who we really are and then “organising and executing around our priorities” as Steven R. Covey puts it in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.The whole premise of my life, I have discovered, is to leave people a little better than they were when I found them. I use the skills I have gained as a result of managing my experience to engage with others—particularly those who are in circumstances that people would usually shy away from. I truly listen to people both mindfully and non-judgementally, walking with them through whatever situations they may be facing and helping them to realise the strength and ability that already exists within. I have built up some very nourishing relationships over the years as a result.I do need to look after myself to ensure I can continue with this work, though. My auntie, who is somewhat of an oracle when it comes to juggling the human condition, once stressed the need for me to look after myself during a video call. “It's important not to just look after the world,” she said, “but to look after yourself in the world.”I do consider myself privileged to have had an out-of-body experience at such a young age. It fundamentally changes you. I am now completely comfortable, for example, being in my own company and living my own truth, whatever that is and wherever that takes me. I am now completely comfortable stepping back and observing rather than forcing myself to keep up with the status quo. I have worked hard to give my days structure and now know exactly what works for me.We have all been programmed to head towards ideals set by others and fail to realise that, in the process of doing so, we may be getting further away from our own. When was the last time you stopped to consider this? When was the last time you stopped to think about what you genuinely wanted from life as opposed to that which is fed to you by the status quo?There is so much to absorb if we slow down and pay attention but we are only interested in pushing our realities away; only interested in doing whatever we can to keep up and pacify the monkey that is chattering away in our heads; only interested in continuing to gather these layers of thought that build up in our minds preventing us from connecting with our true selves. We pull out our phones, turn on the TV, open a book, put on the headphones—anything to avoid having to sit with ourselves. But this is exactly where we will find our answers.We continually want for more even though we never find ourselves satisfied. Doesn’t that in itself tell you something?The Zen philosopher Alan Watts put it beautifully when he said those who think all the time have nothing to think about except thoughts so they lose touch with reality and live in a world of illusion.Just for a second, stop whatever you're doing and get comfortable. A zazen cushion works particularly well for this. But if you haven’t got one, simply sit on the floor, the edge of the sofa, or the chair you are currently on.Now notice your breathing. Really watch it. There is nothing else for you to do. Watch your breath as it comes in and again as it goes out. Don't think about anything else but the breath. Be aware of your lungs filling; the oxygen in your blood being refreshed; the cells in your body coming alive. Count to yourself as you inhale and again as you exhale if that makes it easier.Thoughts will arise but no one thought or emotion is any better than the next with this practice. The key thing here is to spend time sitting with whatever is there and breathing into it instead of feeling as if you need to distract yourself from it. The benefit of this practice may then evolve into focusing on how we deal with these interruptions. You are more than what you are thinking right now. You are more than what you are feeling right now. At your deepest level, you are the one that is aware of it all…Keep sitting and breathing until you clear yourself of adjectives, nouns, verbs, and anything else which separates you from your direct experience.Sit with these thoughts; these emotions; these desires. Observe as they change at the drop of a hat. I’m hungry! I'm tired! I'm bored! This hurts! Observe as they try to pull you this way and that. Get up! Why are you wasting your time sitting here when you could be up doing something?!Keep sitting until you become deeply aware these words that are flying around are only labels to describe the quality of your experience.Sit and observe as your mind sits there orchestrating the quality of your life. Recognise and acknowledge these thoughts as merely thoughts before returning your focus back to the breath. Do this time and time again.You are more than what you’re thinking and are more than what you’re feeling. You are the vast intellect that lies behind all of this. You are pure consciousness: the intellect of the universe.This really is the most beautifully simple exercise that, with some commitment, can yield the most wonderful results. Sometimes sitting will be hard and at other times it will be easy. Sometimes it will be scary and uncomfortable, sometimes it will be blissful and relaxing. Remain open to whatever arises and simply return your attention to the breath. Do it time and time again.Remember, you are more than your thoughts. You are more than your emotions. You are more than your sadness. You are more than your fears. You are more than your anxieties and more than your depression. The very nature of feeling these feelings suggests that you are not present.With practice and patience, you may find your mind beginning to rest, just like ripples upon a lake. It really is the most wonderful feeling.In a modern translation of the Majjhima Nikāya (Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha), breathing practice is written as follows —Find a place where you are alone. Train yourself in the following way: When you breathe in, experience breathing in. When you breathe out, be fully conscious that you are breathing out. If you cherish and practice this, it will bear great fruit. Whatever you are doing and wherever you are, you will find steadiness, calm, and concentration if you become conscious of your breathing.It's important to understand that your mind will wander when you start doing this, but you're not doing anything wrong. It's what our minds are designed to do. It is one of the reasons we, as a race, have managed to put man on the moon. It is one of the reasons we, as a race, can engineer magnificent bridges and dams in an effort to improve our human experience. It is one of the reasons we, as a race, can start vaccinating people from scratch a matter of months after discovering a new virus.It becomes far more important how we react to these thoughts, these desires, these emotions. Your wandering mind is not the problem. Your addiction to it, is.If visualisation helps, you may wish to start the exercise by imagining yourself sat on the banks of a river watching your thoughts come and go with the flow of water, or as clouds drifting in the sky overhead. Just focus on breathing in, and breathing out. Again, you are not your thoughts. You are not your feelings. You are, in fact, the vast awareness behind it all. You are the consciousness of the universe.To quote the Zen practitioner, Steve Hagen:“There is nothing to prove, nothing to figure out, nothing to get, nothing to understand. When we finally stop explaining everything to ourselves, we may discover that in silence, complete understanding is already there.”Now, I sure as hell don’t claim to have all the answers but what I do know is that my life has improved in ways I couldn't have possibly imagined since seriously committing myself to the above process. So much so, in fact, I’ve written this with a view to it becoming part of someone else’s roadmap to inner healing.Through this practice, I realised that whatever I believed, whatever I was thinking—whatever story I was telling myself—was the root cause of all my suffering. Whatever I was thinking separated me from, and closed me off to, how I experienced the world. That little voice in my head, however necessary it may have been to engage with day-to-day life was, in fact, preventing me from engaging with day-to-day life.After some commitment, I realised a great freedom. I remember sitting on the zafu one day and the brackets of my mind just falling away. Whatever limitations were keeping me held to the impression I was separate from everything else just disappeared; they ceased to exist. My shoulders dropped, my head rolled back, and I started laughing. To this day, it is one of the most profound things I’ve experienced.I began paying attention to things differently. I began paying attention to things as they were as opposed to what they appeared to be having passed through my mind’s filter. I became aware of the beauty in everything, from the limitless expanse of the sky to the microscopic details of a tree.In that brief moment on the zafu, I discovered true, lasting contentment. I discovered true, lasting peace. I became aware that everything is connected on a level that I still haven’t found the right words to describe, even after all these years. I discovered absolute love. I discovered absolute compassion. I discovered absolute truth. I truly believe I transcended myself and, in the process, realised I already had all the answers I had been looking for. The truth is already within you and it is silent. You are already spiritually perfect.This practice does require that you revisit it over and over with a certain openness and curiosity rather than simply sitting to force an outcome, but with practice and patience, you may well be thankful that you reached this point in your internetting. Or perhaps you won't. Who am I to tell you? At the end of the day, I'm just another idiot airing their opinion on the internet.

Today, there are over 23,000 KFC outlets in over 140 countries and territories around the world. Yet, it wasn't always that way.Colonel Harland Sanders started selling chicken dishes at a service station at age 40, after many attempted ventures and setbacks in life.He was shortly involved in a shootout with a competitor who wasn't happy about a new sign directing traffic to Sanders: the rival killed a person standing near the Colonel, going to prison for murder (and eliminating any competition).Four years later, his restaurant burnt down, together with the adjacent motel he owned. Sanders built and ran a new one until world war two forced him to shut down.After the war, he decided to franchise his restaurant. His recipe was rejected 1,009 times before anyone accepted it.In the meantime, a new interstate appeared near the booming restaurant, forcing the Colonel to shut down operations: his $105 monthly Social Security cheque was his only income.Instead of giving up, he focused on expanding his franchising operations.Finally, Colonel Sanders hit it big.By 1963 at age 73, he had over 600 restaurants across the US and Canada. KFC became international, and Sanders sold the company in 1965 for $2 million ($10m in today's money) and a salary for life.KFC now has over 23,000 outlets worldwide. In 2013, KFC's revenue was more than $23 billion.Now, let's compare that to rapper and businessman 50 Cent.Curtis James Jackson III was born in New York City in 1975 (the year Colonel Sanders cashed out from his business).His mum died in a fire when he was 8, and he was arrested at 19 for a drug-related crime.When he started rapping under the moniker of 50 Cent, his first album got shelved by Columbia records instead of being released.In 2000, he was involved in a shooting that left him with bad injuries.After recovering, he recorded several low-budget mixtapes which came to the attention of Dr Dre and Eminem's label. His debut album, Get Rich or Die Tryin' sold 9 million copies.After several successful records, he branched out into business: he promoted and invested in Vitaminwater, a partnership that reportedly netted him $100 million when the company sold to Coca-Cola in 2007.In 2016, he filed for bankruptcy after getting sued by both business and personal connections. The Bankruptcy Court ordered 50 to pay his creditors $23 million over five years, but he paid it off after only months.He will release a new album, Street King Immortal, in 2020.Everyone's journey is different and coloured with wins and challenges.If you feel like you're behind on your journey, it's likely because you are comparing yourself to the very few young successes who seem to have it all early on.Plus, we rarely see the full picture.According to a 2009 Sports Illustrated article, 35% of National Football League (NFL) players are either bankrupt or are under financial stress within two years of retirement, and an estimated 60% of National Basketball Association (NBA) players go bankrupt within five years after leaving their sport.Many rappers, pop stars, and athletes who find early success end up bankrupt (not to mention either dead or in prison). Think 50 Cent, Mike Tyson, Toni Braxton, T-Pain [here's a reference list] who had financial trouble, Nipsey Hussle who got shot, or Gucci Mane who went to prison (in rap, this would be a long list).We all have our path and journey, and early success comes with its challenges.Even Dan Bilzerian, who designed his lavish lifestyle in his 30s (full of travels, women, and celebrities) after becoming a multi-millionaire, has his challenges: in various interviews, he recounts who he has adapted to success and pleasure. He doesn't even feel "normal" experiences.We all have our wins and our challenges.If you feel behind, it's likely for three reasons: tackle them, and you can accelerate your journey.#1. You are focusing on the wrong things.When you compare yourself with someone who is ten steps ahead of you on your success journey, it's tempting to want to do the same things that they're doing. However, this often means skipping a few steps and spreading yourself thin instead of creating a solid base.For example, many entrepreneurs start a new business by opening every single social media account – they see their "hero" be everywhere, and think that so should they. The reality is: they don't have the same resources, support, and even awareness to spread their resources so thin. They are comparing their current level 3 entrepreneurial self with their level 8 idol.Trying to do "everything" is comfortable: when you are busy, your conscience is clean even when you don't get the results you deserve. It's not your fault. It's just the way it is.If you want to shortcut your journey to your goals, stop focusing on everything, and start concentrating on what will get you disproportionate results: leverage your strengths, and use other people's skills and knowledge to get to your goals faster.A great tool to know what to work on (and what to ignore) is the "hourly rate". Give a dollar value to your time and use it as a filter.All you have to do is divide your next monetary goal by the number of hours x days you want to work in a year. You can also use my free calculator here.Knowing the value of your time will help you sift through all the things you could do and choose what will generate the value to get the results you desire.#2. You are looking at other people's highlight reel.It's easy to look at other people and only see the good things going for them. That's all we have available, particularly through social media.Also, every win in life and business brings new challenges: you may not be able to see and appreciate them from your point of view. Yet.When you look at other people's achievements and forget the invisible struggles, it's unfair on yourself: you are ignoring your current wins and accomplishments and hiding other people's challenges and obstacles.Instead, appreciate where you are, knowing that with new opportunities, you will also receive new challenges. A great practice is to journal every morning, and write down three things you are grateful for: not only it will cultivate a sense of abundance, but it will also give you more awareness about your real starting point.So you can appreciate wherever you are at, and grow from there.#3. You are letting others define success.When you compare yourself to others, you keep track of what's in front of you. Instead of being present and under your control, you wish you were many steps ahead and feel paralysed.Comparing yourself to others keeps you stuck in a game of "catching up" and "not being good enough", continually comparing yourself to someone else, instead of creating your own game.It distracts you from what you want to create and focuses you on what other people have done and what society tells you you should want. Caught up in the vortex, we never take the time to step back and define our destination.To make sure that you create your definition of success, take a couple of hours off, and go to a quiet place, such as a quirky cafe, a park, or somewhere in the countryside. Then, think about the people that inspire you the most, both around you and online. What aspect do you admire specifically, and why?This way, you can create your perfect photomontage, bringing together the aspects of life you value and want to replicate. It will be a good start to define success in your way.Whenever you feel "too late" or "behind" on your journey, remember that it is YOUR journey. You won't be Colonel Sanders, and you won't be 50 Cent. So make sure it's the right journey for you, and then check that you're not falling trap of the three obstacles: that way, you can enjoy the process AND get to your next destination faster.(So you can set a new destination).– Matt

Original Question:What on Quora gets on your nerves.My Answer:Before I start, please note that wherever you see the words "you" or "your” in the below answer, it is not directed any particular person. And yes, it's another marathon size answer. Feel free to scroll on by if I'm boring you.1) First and foremost on my current list of complaints are the outside links Quora has added to "provide context," for the topics we follow. I HATE them. I do not come to Quora looking for news, the latest on fashion, or to read about pop culture and celebrities. I would LOVE a way to be able to opt OUT.I really can't see how filling our feeds with material we can read everywhere else on the internet, literally, is going to help Quora maintain their stated goal of "Growing and sharing the world's knowlege." Especially with regards to the total fluff pieces that I keep muting. (Which, by the way automatically downvotes them.) Unfortunately, it seems you have to repeatedly mute the same sources over and over again until they eventually stop appearing, and you have to do it for every single source.Please Quora, I am by far not the only who despises this new addition. I'd be willing to wager that if you asked the community at large, you'd find the majority of active users would say the same thing I have.2) The outrageously ubiquitous questions that asked anonymously for no good reasons. My guess is that 98% of the content now posted anonymously is done by users who don't use it as per stated Quora's quidelines. And the lion's share are leading questions or outright attacks on select demographics, such as atheists, feminists, black people, Jewish people, Muslims, and women in general.3) The whole personality cult that so many Trump supporters are completely immersed in, and their pals, the Russian trolls. They get angry when you say anything in answer to their questions that don't amount pure adulation of Trump. Then they either flip out or run away when presented with actual facts about their idol and are quick to blame anyone except him. Which is par for the course since they are, after all, essentially emulating their hero. I've even see questions "suggesting" that no-one except Americans should be allowed to say anything that doesn't praise The Donald, as well as ones wanting laws instituted that would criminalize even any negative speech or press about him, even from other Americans.Folks, you're thinking like fascists when you do that. Trump is neither a king nor an emperor. He's an elected (with, it seems pretty clear to me, more than a little help from Russia) public official that's trying to run your country like a family mob boss and a massive family business. With, I might add, your money in the form of taxes. But the US is, whether you like it or not, a secular democracy.Really people, learn your own constitution. And while your at it, read the full text of your Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion laws. If you pay attention and truly understand what these documents say, you wouldn't be trying to stop other people from criticizing or even insulting Trump. And you would know that:Freedom of Religion:Your country's Freedom of Religion laws - just like the ones in my country (Canada) - protect everyone, including those of different faiths, agnostics, atheists, women, LGBT+ people and people of every colour and ethnicity. They clearly state that no religion will be favoured over another in the eyes of the law. So if you're someone who thinks your religious beliefs and your supposed god(s) "laws" - god(s) that you can't produce, or even provide empirical, verifiable evidence in favour of their existence; evidence that can be tested by neutral third parties - should be the laws of your country, then you're wrong. Flat out wrong. That's what a theocracy looks like, not a democracy.If, for example, you're one of the people who's still working in any capacity at all, and to any degree, trying to outlaw abortion for whatever reason, you are seeking to force women who get pregnant and who - for any number of reasons that are absolutely none of your business - into gestational slavery. As well as forcing these women to risk the many known dangers of prenancy of birth, upto and including death.As for religious arguments against same sex marriage, the answer is really simple. Don't be in one. And no, Frank and Jim's marriage in no way affects the "sanctity" of your heterosexual marriage. Marriage has been around far, far longer than any religion still being practiced anywhere in the world today. Once again, your country is a secular nation. Grow up and mind your own business. And stop equating women with breeding livestock.Freedom of Speech:When you are censored on a private website like Quora, for example, your Freedom of Speech rights are NOT being violated in any way whatsoever. The moment you write anything on Quora, you are subject to their Terms of Service and agree to follow their rules. It doesn't matter if you haven't read them. It's the same at any other online forum. Just by using them, you agree to follow whatever rules they decide on. It's just like being a guest in someone's home... Their house, their rules.You are, of course, free to say whatever you want about anyone or anything. But remember:you are not guaranteed a platform or an audience. If you want to argue with someone's answer and they've disabled comments, or blocked & muted you after you left your comment and they delete it, your rights are still NOT being violated. Freedom of speech laws exist to protect people from government persecution, not from any consequences of something that offends others, or violates their privacy and/or safety.write your own answers and let the readers decide. Report answers for being factually inaccurate if, and only if, your are 100% certain and can back it up with credible, unbiased source links.4) Kids and even young adults - and sadly even some adults, who really aren't ready to be on a site like Quora. I mean really:We can't read your crush's mind.We can't give you an a valid medical diagnosis of ANY kind, nevermind recommend a valid treatment.No, the girls and women on Quora don't want pictures of your penis.No you cannot fall in love with someone just by looking at their profile picture and reading their answers.No it is not women's fault if you can't find any of them willing to date you, or have sex with you, or marry you.No, we women do not share a hive mind.And no, Quora is NOT a dating site.I close by saying that I agree with others who think the abuse of the anonymous feature is, as I said in the beginning of this answer, out of control. Just having the feature is like putting out a homecoming beacon for trolls. And the changes earlier in 2017 have, in my opinion, only resulted in attracting larger and larger numbers of them.p.s. I wonder how many typos I missed this time… Ah well, it's the drawback of using my phone.