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10 Hacks for an Indian Grad Student in the US:Develop Research SkillsThe reason why everyone’s on their phone all the time is because everything - from buying a kitchen appliance to watching a movie - is literally at the palm of one’s hands. If you unfortunately don’t spend hours on Google/Amazon comparing prices, you will feel like you are missing out on deals. This attitude weakens over time.Get a good phone. You’ll be on it a lot. And about phone plans…This was long ago in 2013 and I had been using a Samsung model that didn’t support 3G well and I adjusted (typical Indian) for 4 months until Dec 2013 when I got my first iPhone. Couldn’t use Google Maps, had to rely on Wifi, BIG Pain. You NEED a phone that doesn’t hang & can give you 4G/LTE cause you will be on it A LOT.Try a family plan. I spent my 1st year paying $80 per month for phone services partly because I didn’t know anyone else (to be taken into their plan) and also since I didn’t know about Boost Mobile & Cricket - closest thing to the concept of prepaid that we have in India.Hair modelingThis is especially for Indian girls with long, thick hair. Prohibitive cost of a good haircut ($70 & more without tip) urged me to become a hair model for a salon. Every 6–8 weeks you get a new do & you need to be okay with whatever the hair stylist wants to do and looking edgy & fashionable (boohoo!), but they’re usually great at their job anyway. For more, check out FREE Salon Services! Volunteers Needed - SalonApprentice.com. Seriously, Indian hair is hot commodity here!Goodwill is not the worstTakes time and a lot of searching but thrift stores - most basic one being Goodwill - are not a bad idea if you aren’t in a position to spend money on clothes but you also need a change of wardrobe. Doesn’t exist as a concept in India but it’s a thing worth exploring here. Additional research can lead you to thrift stores that pay YOU for your donations. Buffalo Exchange & Crossroads buy clothes but yeah, there’s a set criteria.Amtrak for moving suppliesIf you need to move cross country/coast to coast and don’t drive, transport your belongings using Amtrak Freight services. Unbelievably reasonable compared to FedEX, USPS air whatever else.Live with a host familyYou get an actual intercultural experience, less rent + responsibility and they’ll respect your privacy.Hang out at the public library!Lots of information and seminars on things like how to get a drivers license, rental insurance etc and once you are out of school - printing services.Try talking to people outside your universityThat’s real America. You won’t see economic diversity as much if you are in a private university. Talking to everyday people will make you more grateful and appreciative of the real humans in America (not your elitist professors & privileged classmates).Mindset & Self CareToday Indians take more risks but our attitude needs to keep up with it. Don’t ever fear making mistakes and how that would make you look. EMBRACE everything. Honestly, the ideals of whichever religion you follow - beyond the dos & don’ts - will go a long way in giving you that strength. Much more than calling family/friends on Skype every other day.Skills like sewing, repair, plumbingLong shot but learning stuff like this from your neighborhood tailor, cobbler, plumber for a minimum fee even will go a long, long, long way here. $45/hr is what a plumber charges here so….Do check out my podcast Aliens with Visas that discusses the internal journey of student immigrants in America. Lots of helpful resources - releasing March 8th!

Black/Latino Upper Class is differentMy upbringing wasn’t quite the Huxtables, I’m an only child and my mother married..a lot but there was more money in her circles than her brother and sisters so I had a very similar life of expectations, resources and positive reinforcement and very little corporal punishment. It’s more of what you don’t do or what your doing/strategies are replaced by.Standards & PracticesWhen I started to answer this, I was initially thinking about manners and things and I was just going to shoot off an answer then I started thinking deeply about what my experience has been dealing with Black and Latino people, coming from where I do, and from where some of them do. It;’s markedly different but has been so generally for at least 1–3 generations metastasizing into the current ones so that some things seem natural and other Black and Latino folk seem not less than or just poorer than me…but different. Here’s something weird—-they point it out before I do. For years I didn’t completely understand that I’d been privileged in a higher class, didn’t grow up in poverty, will probably never be poor.My great grandparents, on my mother’s side were not Black, entirely. While I hate the disgusting concept of divisional racialized disillusioning, my great grandfather was full Narragansett Indian and my great grandmother was only 1/8 Black. My grandmother looked like a light skinned Black woman because of her father’s skin tone, not because she was Black. She grew up Upper Class in Providence, Rhode Island. Some of the signals, that I wasn’t completely cognizant of what she was relaying were that on her 16th birthday, she got a grand piano as a surprise gift. She and her bestie—-Shirley Bolden—-were coming home from school and when they turned the corner saw the piano being hoisted by workmen several stories up to the parlor in the brownstone that she lived with her six brothers, parents and sister.Another Upper Class signal was that of 6 children the girls were encouraged to go to school all the way through high school so she graduated in 1928, unusual then. Owning the brownstone, the piano gift, her extremely patrician manners (one has supper Monday through Saturdays and dinner on Sundays; the table was always set, she spoke a very proper English and read prodigiously (five books a week) until she died) were all signals she was relating to me but were lost in the Blackness-culture lens I lumped her into as a child/teen.Even more interestingly, my grandmother practiced the “paper bag” test on my family members. her preference for my mother and I having to do with lighter skin tone. Though my grandfather was really dark skin, she admonished her children, especially her darker daughter and her children to not breed with other dark people. As a teenager I remember my grandmother lamenting my two cousins, Renee and David and what would their lives be like, that they had no real futures, lowered expectations because of their extremely dark skin tones. Now, here’s a further kicker—-all the ones she pointed out who were “too dark to succeed” didn’t advance educationally, financially, etc. beyond high school, lower Middle Class.While now I can see that my grandmother’s judgment was a mess and half, she was also relaying a truth about America, race, Black people and prosperity. There is a racial theory that darker people face harsher discrimination and racism because of it and I’ve watched this play out when I was aware of what I was looking at. Conversely I’ve had co-workers, darker, at a non-profit point out that when myself and a social worker were hired the African Executive Director was acting out his “light” fetish….which I then saw play out in his preferential treatment towards the worst assistants who were corrupt, drug addicts, sexual predators—-but lighter in skin tone.This colorism had several generational effects:EducationMy mother went to college after her older sister, who did so for a job training told her about it, my mother went to a BA and beyond, therefore it was never a question of IF I would go to college but WHEN. Though I left high school (in favor of my GED because I would’ve had to do another half semester after walking graduation due to one year spent at a high school in New Jersey and the rest in NY) it was never a question of whether I would complete high school. If I had known about a GED years before, I would’ve left high school by 16.My parents actually met while they were both attending neighboring colleges.This seems “normal” but not among Black people. Unfortunately, Middle to Upper class standards and practices and therefore effects are not as common in Black (and Latino) households, or as bluntly recognized. Therefore I’m unusual to the statistical breakdown of African Americans by class.40% in Generational Poverty (they will never “change” or evolve past a household limit of $18k to $36k a year for a family of four);then there’s Situational Poverty (fluctuating due to school, divorce, child support issues but with eventually move to the next level);then there’s Middle/Upper Class for Black/Latino People—30% to 25%, respectively. This is the Middle Class and Higher levels who have incomes over $36k a year, college level educations, careers and will replicate this into their children with effort or ease, to millionaires.(There’s also a micro 10th of a percentage marked as the Transcendent Class within Black/Latinos where you have your Michael Jordan’s, Oprah Winfrey’s Spike Lee’s, Jennifer Lopez, Slim Peru, Ricky Martin, Robert F. Smith, Reginald & Loida Lewis, Robert Johnson, Sheila Johnson, etc.) .Communities, Clubs, Colleges, Associations and Children AssociationsThere’s Boule, Jack & Jill (for children), HBCUs, the Black families that live yearly on Martha’s Vineyard and/or vacation there. There’s a whole other world of Black people which I got to experience slivers of—-—-also 10 of the wealthiest neighborhoods for African Americans:There is a lot of discretion to Black wealth as a group/community or we also tend to integrate within other communities. Therefore we don’t stand out, we blend, fold in.Secret MoneyWhen my mother created wealth, we’d been vacationing monthly at a timeshare in Pennsylvania from NY. We liked it and began house hunting up there and were immediately, based upon my mother’s bank account, directed to the secure/gated community where celebrities and the Upper Class live. Because I’d grown up going to country clubs and such it wasn’t a lot, or extra, to me, to have a home in a secure community where you could walk to your on-site country club but when I brought home classmates from college, my mother had initial discussions with me about not talking about money at school, preparing schoolmates who visited, not telling them my passcodes to get past the front gate armed guards. You never talked about specifics—-cash, annuities, trusts, lawyers, etc..Furnishings/LodgingsMy mother also furnished the house from all over the world, some of the more extravagant pieces including a white leather couch from Italy that was $5000 and a specially cut smoked glass dining room table.At 9 I remember we lived in a fully carpeted 3 bedroom duplex in a high rise that overlooked the ocean, again with expensive furnishings—-my mother had a good eye for decoration but it was definitely more than my relative's apartments/homes.I’ve had a king sized bed since I was 9 (the first one was round!) and my own bedroom since….forever.ClothingYou shop for things that work for you. My mother was short, 5′2, so she had a seamstress work on a lot of the skirt/pants suits she bought to accommodate her and it was always a given that I would wear expensive but understated suits and have them done over by an atelier before wearing them. I had my first white tuxedo at 16 for a film premiere my mother produced at Lincoln Center. The one juvenile fashion concession she allowed me was I got to have a red bow tie, cummerbund, and red leather shoes.I was admonished to sparingly wear/buy synthetic fabrics (the joke was they are the Ugly Sisters: Polly & Esther, and their vicious cousin, Rayon.) It has been an experience in my adulthood buying suits because I grew up being taken to a tailor by my stepfather, the chef, and fitted for suits because that’s all he wore. He and my mother also had matching mink coats for the winter. Up until a few years ago, I can’t remember my mother not having a mink or fur coat.My mother and stepfather, husband # 5—-a ne’er do well, Mike, that she bought for companionship—- routinely had big beautiful cars that they could (and sometimes couldn’t) afford. Later my mother bought herself a brand new car off the showroom floor, for cash, a mistake yes, even the salesman said so, but she said she wanted the experience, having worked all of her life to just drop cash on what she wanted. Flat out.Food/RestaurantsMy mother could cook. One of my stepfather’s, Terry, was a professional chef. They rarely did cook though preferring high end restaurants.One time he blew my mind when I said I wanted Chinese food for lunch and he went into the kitchen and from scratch made shrimp fried rice. Shrimp fried rice! He would routinely bring home dozens of steaks—-no, steaks—-porterhouse 2–3 inch thick.He would bring home 10–20 a week and put them in the freezer with bags of shrimp and lobster and when I got home from school, I would defrost one and grill it up and have it with a salad. I was 12.It never dawned on me, in the beautiful duplex, my toes on wall to wall carpeting, that my parents combined salaries propelled us into the Upper Class.However, When I would go to my cousins, I was forbidden by my parents from eating:Chitlins2. Spam3. Hog maws, Pigs feet, Pigs ears, Head cheese, tripe4. Kool Aid5. Powdered Milk, Government CheeseGoing to my cousins was like an Adventure in Poverty Land because there were so many things I had to excuse myself from or ask what it was…and then excuse myself from.I deeply offended my uncle’s wife when I visited them with my young cousins for the summer, watched their kids get cereal with powdered milk and politely went into the refrigerator and got the real thing. I calmly explained later that I wasn’t allowed to drink or eat “unreal food”.Interestingly enough, my mother was a bit of a Francophile from studying French in college so she adored :Cervelle de veau au beurre noir: Sautéed calf’s brain with brown butter, lemon, and capers, served with mashed potatoes, carrots, and baby bok choy. You use the old-school French cooking methods of Auguste Escoffier. It was my mother’s favorite. My mother raved about going to French restaurants when she was a teenager with friends and went on to informally study French in college—-as a child I remember books, music, movies in French around the house, constantly. I took it in high school and have an ear for it and it read it better than I speak it because of her interests.And further interestingly enough, my grandmother liked neck bones, having discovered them living in Harlem when she married my grandfather.But my grandmother would have her maid, Agnes, prepare them like once a month. So maybe a couple of times a year now I actually make them with collard greens as a homage, comfort food, but insanely I combine it, elevate it, in a blond roux recipe that I got from Emeril Legasse.I can’t remember not going to restaurants and ordering from large menus. My mother not only broke the divorce news to me but let me choose “sides” at Bobby Van’s near Wall Street—-I remember it was big, huge leather seats, the menu as big as me, I was 11. We’d converted to Islam with my biological father, Robert and my mother turned to the waiter and said she was having spare ribs, what would I be having? The message was implied. I had the ribs.My other stepfather, Jesse, told me over dinner, at a beautiful place in New Jersey, of seafood, that I should be grateful that I had a mother who let me order from the menu. I was 15. My mother and I both looked at him. I think that was when we both realized he was poor and would always be poor. She then gave me her rule on relationships: Always fuck up, never fuck down.RelationshipsAlways fuck up, never fuck down.I’m not sure there’s much else to say there.Some of these standards are yes, the same as they would be in White Upper Class but because the majority of Black/Latino people are not Upper Class, you stand out when you layer these in, a few dozen soft rules and expectations. Manners, etiquette, knowing what things are, traveling to different places; a professor I worked for in Buffalo, said that it was obvious when she first saw me. sophomore year, that I was from “a dollar extra”.I was planning on going on a cruise with a guy and we were looking at the web page on the phone and I said oh the penthouse suite was something like $1500 for 8 days. And he was like—-oh, you’re like that?I guess he was looking in steerage?That was when I realized despite his education, he’d come from poverty and had a poverty mindset—-that and other things. He mentioned once didn’t I remember what it was like growing up, hanging out on the stoop, everyone drinking beers?I was like—-ummm, no. We had a terrace. Or a porch.As Black Upper Class, we enjoy and know about all of the same things there’s just more omission of the things that Black people normalize or others expect were a part of my upbringing.I went with a student Thanksgiving a few years ago to visit his aunt in the projects in East Harlem. It was exactly like it had been described in a textbook I was using for a social/educational project. 10-foot high concrete walls/ceilings, dark elevators, pissy stairwells, broken mailboxes, loud music.I was like WOW, this is the projects!Then I realized how that sounded in my head. Then I had to really think about it—-I had been in the projects a decade before that to a party. I’ve never lived in the projects—-maybe my cousins have, ok, some definitely have, but I don’t know if I’d ever been there for an extended period of time.Money/Welfare/Housing CourtI’ve always had money. Or money was coming in a few days. I’ve always worked, had savings, stocks, a small business. I can’t imagine just having ONE job and ONE paycheck.Ok, the figure of a family of four living on $18k a year? Or $36k a year?What the holy fuck????!!!My bare, cut to the bone, minimum I’m going to school full time and life will suck on this budget for the year, the minimum salary is $40-50k. I can scrape by on that. I’m single, no kids yet, no legal spouse (just squishy slam buddies :) !! ).Ok, funny Welfare stories—-wow, are there such things?Anywho in 2009 the non-profit I was working for laid off like half the staff. I knew it was coming because I knew someone in HR so I immediately take the package offered, it was April 2nd, I was going to quit and start at Columbia University June 1st. So now I’m sitting at home staring at the wall, the professor I was going to start working with postpones and won’t be in residence until August—-so now I also have the whole summer off.My mother calls from her home in Charlotte, having researched this mass country laying offs, and says that if I go to the NY Social Services office, I can get this whole package from the Stimulus Act, as a displaced worker.Am I really displaced? I was sitting at home day-trading online, taking long meandering walks, sleeping late, reading, perfecting a roast pork recipe, watching cable. I mean, I’m starting Columbia in a few months…“Shut up! Go to the Welfare office,” she shouts.I finally go in late July. They tell me all these things I can get but I’m like I’ll start back to work in a few weeks, I’m good. They force Food Stamps on me. IF I come back and fill out another set of forms. I walk back—-50 blocks, a couple of weeks later (it was good summer exercise), and because of the whole Stimulus Package, I get $350 in Food Stamps. I went to Gristedes and bought lobsters and t-bone steaks for Labor Day. I started work the next week.A few months later, it comes out that the apartment I’ve been subletting for two years is part of an elaborate Social Services resident scam. My mother, again prolific, on the internet and survival, tells me that I have to go into court “But you can’t act like you have any sense. You’re going to have to nigger it up the first time you appear. Yell, curse, be confused, demand help. If you go in calm, they’ll kick you out.”I do so.Sure enough, they bend over backward to not displace me, accommodate me, and the subsequent appearances the once vicious building attorney is crushed by the judge.It seems that there was a precedence of not kicking out poor people from this scam and they were assisted. If you were educated, of a higher class, you were kicked out, first, the assumption being you could relocate faster. The building lawyer actually said to me that as a student-teacher I wouldn’t “understand” all the legal stuff in Housing Court.I (having been a financial analyst and securities litigation paralegal for over a decade prior with multiple degrees) nodded politely.I often nod politely when I haven’t spoken at length or presented my resume when people from a lower class (or White) racialize me due to skin color.Some of this also illustrates how I’m lumped in with the poor, underclass based upon race, often when it doesn’t apply. Ironically as long as I don’t open my mouth, a poverty-based mentality, education level, social class level is immediately projected/thrust upon me.Here’s a bonus that occurs in Upper Class/Racial identity.I speak with the language and voice of the Master.I have a friend who suggests that within the Black/Latino consciousness, there’s often a little White man who controls, admonishes, oppresses people of color, who rests inside of their head. Hegemony.We’ve further posited and experimented with the idea, particularly when I casually speak to attendants, in stores, to cashiers, city employees of color, that their attention and bearing will change. It does. My proper English and clear, concise grammar is associated with the “Master” and those who don’t consider themselves or oppress themselves or kneel to the little White man in their heads, often mitigate themselves to it.You’re thinking that doesn’t happen. From public to schools, to adults and children, to even jail, to police, to professionals of color. Depending on their social upbringing, if you sound and present levels higher, quite a few people will capitulate because that is the hegemonic training. Trippy, huh?It also works to threaten some Black and Latino people. Sometimes I’m just strolling through life being handsome and happy and there are those who assume that because I am, or where I am from historically, in my home training, parental upbringing, that I’m less concerned and active in social justice, activism, that I can go hide back in privilege and money, lots of stuff.Social class is very messy when you layer in race. Some of the animosity in person or online is called Class Spite because no one is ready to accept that my parents worked hard, I do, and most importantly they taught me to stop working hard and start working smart.What that has meant is that when I wanted more money/allowance, my mother helped me create a business and had me sign a contract with her for $5 for start-up money. At 14 she gave me a Tax ID Number for my birthday and then by 22 she was advising me how to co-opt a college club’s Presidency so that I could experiment with the SUNY system’s money and contacts. Ironically, created the aptitude of networking, from doing this one of the offshoots was that 7 months after I was done at SUNY undergrad I applied for a job with a commercial real estate firm and I was able to get on the phone with the President and VP of the university and have them call/email recommendations for me because they’d pulled me onto a student committee years previous. The job started at $46k, which is a lot for a Black man now and that was over 10 years ago and I was 26.My parents having entrepreneurial businesses, contacts, etc. taught me how to actualize Access/Opportunity—-which is really one of the main barriers in work/income for Black and Latino people in America and fuels most of the Racial Wealth Gap. To that point, the Gap, I’ve only tangentially experienced it though I can say and see now that my mother's attempts to replicate her parents’ 30+ year marriage by marrying men with the goal of longevity and not the co-goal of social/financial increase for the family always (except for Terry, the chef, I think they were both ambitious, socially and financially.)But the only other increasing social class/socio-economic force was my biological father, Robert—-I remember him constantly using his American Express card—-I was 10 years old—-which is how I came to understand and have them explain the difference between a bank/debit card and credit card to me so early so that I had Mastercard/Visa credit cards, a credit line, and bank card by 18 while making $1000 a week in retail.And they also explicitly taught me to hold and perceive myself differently than how people who are “down to earth”, which I’ve never understood. I also don’t understand Class Spite when people say they want more money—-wanting to be the thing you’re spiteful about. Odd.How has this affected/effected me now that I have an educated lens to understand the comparative differences?I feel different. Sadly, I can feel racially, race, (though I see, know, believe and mock it as a social construct) socially—-like when I’m at work-school (Columbia) and I’m asked to do something because I “present well”. Now yes, some of that is training, elocution, I dress well enough. I wear contacts and glasses but I also speak a near-perfect grammatical English, unless I’m playing around with people or trying to be less formal. Therefore, and this is important, people, pointedly White people, treat me better. They often speak to me with closer to parity, a parallel psyche, across a plane rather than down to me and then trust me to represent them well.Myself and another upper-class Black man were chosen to do the presentations to the Fulbright Scholars (judges, lawyers, business people, politicians) about, ironically, the state of education and poverty in America. But the choosing of us was very deliberate to both subliminally illustrate the fact of possible achievement of minorities who are standing there as doctoral candidates presenting/teaching and also to sort of encourage that we definitely know what and where we speak because we straddle two worlds—-though on campus we’re going to be circumspect about it.So you say, okay, that’s a one-off and has to do with teaching and ability.And then he and I are sent as part of an educational partnership outreach to the Latino GED/TASC program to teach classes, pull them into the fold and then my class is opened to Phoenix House remanded young people and when they won’t come 30 blocks, I’m released/tasked and paid to go them. A lot of that and it happens to me more and more—-I’m like a Black education consulting ambassador who speaks understands two worlds so I’m often sent to elementary schools, middle schools, high schools with huge problems and issues—-but there’s a comfort and confidence that I can work stuff out.In my lived life, every day Kyle, human concerns, I notice a benefit of teh doubt based upon my social class presentation. I also notice poverty more in minorities and I notice how White people ignore it because I too can access ignoring it, just not as easily. I notice a self consciousness in my own successes and an inability to talk and share with all Black and Latino who I am, what I’m doing, what I’m creating because I first have to evaluate their social class as to whether they’ll accept, be interested or threatened by my accomplishments, resume, CV, tastes, etc..I often have to be thoughtful to how I speak or advise peers, adults, not in a teaching setting because I know all of the structural issues, social cues, hidden rules of social class, modalities, manners, corporate markers and mores, that they may not. So I can’t say to everyone who is job hunting I can give you a recommendation, go talk to Bob such and such at such and such because one, I know how my professional reputation is built and therefore attached to the candidate and two, more glaringly sometimes I can evaluate the candidate as ambitious but unschooled in the social class mores and values they would need, that I might possess but never recognized as be explicitly taught, that would be insulting or too extensive for me to relay. I often give books…but too many minorities don’t read. SO I give books like a stone in a well and I listen for water at the bottom. I hear it 50%/50%.Does this mean I’m more comfortable with one, White people or two, people who are Middle Class or higher more than I am with poor people?Yes, because poverty contains dysfunctional mentalities and structural choices to obviate the pain of poverty. Because I don’t suffer from the pain of poverty, I’m not always looking for those pain obviators (alcohol,unsafe sex, drugs, dysfunctional relationships, children I can’t afford to validate manhood, etc.)I also, from a different class, have a longer range vision of myself, consequences, etc..Here’s how that’s played out in 2 ways:Unsafe SexI've been offered a lot of sex, I’ve been offered a lot of sex that might be from what we would consider “poor people”. I’m more thoughtful and resourced so I’ve had condoms since I was a child and understood them and had a frank sexual education from my parents. And, I think of sex, recreational, that might even with protection involve risk, as an impediment not to just me, or to possibly my ability to take care of my parents but also to my coming children and grandchildren.I don’t fuck raw or bareback because my children will need me a Black man to be not simply mentally sane but as physically strong/healthy for as long as possible to mentor them. I look at my body, knowing all of teh other health risks I have to be conscious of, as also a vessel that must be viable for legacying my DNA, the next generations.My caveat in much the line of my mother’s savage ones is: “One fuck (person and metaphorically) is not worth my immune system.”I’ve taught safe sex and STI information for years and thereAs a whole racial boondoggle (the CDC expects that 50% of non-hetero Black/Latino men will be HIV+ before they're 50 years old,; that well over a third from the ages to 18 to 50 are; and that there are neighborhoods here in NYC of concentrated HIV and gonorrhea infections based upon race)—-makes me hyper-conscious of someone’s zip code, my zipper and being thoughtful about zipperless fucks.Drugs/AddictionI used to joke that I’ve never done drugs because one day I might want to be a senator (but I did opt for get appointed to my local Community Board, not only for civic interests and sense of responsibility but also because it was a networking and bonus to my CV AND as a further incentive for Columbia University to accept me, which they did, and it generated notice and the Borough President and Mayor invited me to be the rep on the Board and on Columbia Board—-creating all kinds of conflict of interests. But I chose to go for that non-paying appointment because I understood it’s broader value and access. Again, a Networking and Access mindset, strategic planning, things I’ve been deliberately trained in that now that I teach I can see as soft skill sets.)My drug reticence has been from family addictions I’ve seen and the impediments it has created for them. To be starkly aware that there are only so many impediments I can overcome, after being designated Black and sexuality non-hetero, in this world, is something I’ve had conscious, deliberate, planning strategic discussions with my parents and mentors about.But that abstinence has also booned my Work/Income ability in that I piss clean like a cat and that’s given me entree into law firms, financial firms security firms where I saw that urine testing, even just for marijuana becoming a way to not just eliminate those who partake but pointedly so many who partake, who are minorities. To that end, just clean piss because of social class enforcement to be able to move has meant I tend to earn a lot more money and I’m legally considered a non-liability in sensitive jobs/projects.In ConclusionYes, it is a lot to think about and consider, constantly. I uniquely move through multiple Class sets throughout my day/personal and professional life. What I’m often struck by is the solidification that occurs which prevents lower classes from moving to higher classes (where ostensibly the “more” money they want is at.) I see this glaringly because I teach and write so I’m often absorbing data and then looking for correlates and realizing how much of it has been around me, permeating my life, all along. A lot of the above observations come from a decade of teaching and then meticulously going back over my life with a Social Class microscope and seeing: “Oh, that’s what that is in comparison to such and such.” or “Oh, that’s why they or I were uncomfortable or confused.”Wealth and class occur positively, hopefully over time to live a good, fulfilling life and usually has the effect of giving to others (consider the company you may work for is owned by a person or a family or started by one-—their wealth of ability and resources has provided a system that is available for an exchange medium with you.)Poverty makes people more desperate and dangerous than having more because when you have extra, you don’t want to risk it over foolishness or simple greed.A lot of things I was on the edges of or from the inside of, are in this book. Our Kind Of People. It’s a great to read to see how people, including the 7 richest Black families in America (that you never hear about publicly) operated to maintain wealth and dignity in spite of slavery, Jim Crow, Civil Rights—-when they were above, apart from, or isolated away from those oppressive systems.Not all of us who are brown in complexion grew up in poverty or were oppressed the same by systemic racism.#KylePhoenix#TheKylePhoenixShow

( I googled it )The Significance of DreamsSleep is a biological necessity and an integral component of our daily routine. Whether one remembers or not, dreams do appear in specific phases of sleep of every person. An extensive research by Dr. Edwin Dismond, an eminent american dream scientist, has shown that a normal healthy person experiences about 5 to 6 dreams per course of sleep. On an average, these dreams last for about 20 minutes. Dreams, in his view, are essential for maintaining mental health.Dreams are called 'Swapna' in Sanskrit language. The literal meaning of the word conveys "seeing (experiencing) that as real which is not experienced in the real (perceivable) world." Dreams have been the focus of curiosity and enquiry since the beginning of human civilization.Haphazard or vague dreams are experienced during the 'subconscious' (Swapna Nidra) or 'disturbed' sleep due to sickness, stress, etc. Such dreams are often shortlived, perplexing and meaningless. In a state of deep sleep (sushupti) dreams either do not appear or they appear with sharp impressions and are of longer duration. The dreams which are clearer and longer attract attention of the dreamer and he is curious to know the cause and implication of such dreams.Click Here to Buy Astrology & Religious ProductsThe Hindu scriptures are the most ancient source on supernatural faculties of human mind. The subject of dreams has been discussed in detail in Atharva veda, Brahma sutra, Katha, Chhandyoga, Brihadaranyak, Prasna and other Upanishads, besides Agni Purana and Matsya Purana among others. The genesis of dreams is elucidated in the 'Brahma Sutra' (3/2) as "the result of transition of mind from the conscious to the unconscious state, or from a state of cognition to that of subtler impulses of mental activity."The Indian Rishis of yore had given greater importance to spiritual elevation, rather than materialistic opulence, and realised high realms of spirituality and enlightenment, which gave them premonition of the future, experience of the past, including the past lives, and clairvoyance. Several Purana were written by them on the basis of insight acquired through dreams. Maharishi Valmiki had written the 'Ramayan' describing the life of Lord Shri Rama in detail much before the latter's incarnation. The "Bhavishya Purana' and the 'Kalika Purana' highlight the future events hundreds of thousands of years ahead.The Hindu shastras contain deeper knowledge of the relation between the soul (Jiva), the mind, and the omnipresent consciousness (Brahman), and describe dreams as the expressions and mode of subtle linkage between them. The shastras affirm the soul as 'Trikaldarshi' (clairvoyant which can experience the past, present and the future with equal ease. The Upanishada state that when the mind gets active linkage with the soul, it can experience the world beyond the limits of time and space, supernatural realizations of future and divine inspirations through dreams.Click Here to Get Kaalsarap and Manglik Dosha ReportIn Brihadaranyak Upanishad (4/3/9) Rishi Yagyavalka tells Raja Janak that "The soul can move beyond the periphery of this world. It can express itself in this gross physical world, in the invisible (extrasensory) world beyond, and also in the junction state. The junction state is the state of dream in which the individual self can experience either or both the worlds."In Kathopanishad (2/1/4) Yama Deva tells Nachiketa that "which sees the dreams like the visions of an awakened state is the omnipresent soul."In Prashnopanishad (4/5), in reply to the question 'what is that who sees the dream?" posed by Muni gargya, Rishi Pipplada replies that "The soul experiences its limitless existence in the dreams. It sees what it (individual consciousness) has already seen (in awakened state. Listens which it has already listened. It also experiences what has been seen and not seen, listened and not listened, experienced and not experienced, real and unreal, it sees all."The scriptures further point out that the type and quality of dreams depends on one's intrinsic nature, tendencies and indications, and that by controlling and purifying his inner thought one can control the nature of his dreams. Maharishi Vedavyas mentions in Brahma Sutra (3/2) that "the dreams of a serene and intuitive mind are capable of forecasting the major events of future."The serene state of mind in deep sleep during Brahma Muhurta (early dawn) is regarded the most peaceful, free from the disturbances of the conscious and subconscious states, and naturally conditioned for experiences of dreams. Because of their faith in the ancient wisdom, people in India often believe the dreams in Brahma Muhurta as indicative of what is likely to be experienced in near future.The ancient Indian science of medicine (Ayurveda) also recognises the role of dreams in understanding the cause and nature of diseases. The Sushruta Samhita by Acharya Sushruti, a surgeon of yore, describes the relation of dreams with Tridoshas (the three vital elements - Vata, Pitta and Kapha) which control the internal and external functions and conditions of the body, and discusses the modes of treatment under dream based therapy.The individuals wind and movement in space in their dreams. Those with imbalance of pitta have dreams of fire, light and heat. The dreams of those having kapha imbalance experience the scenes associated with water, ponds, rivers, sea, etc., in their dreams. The book emphasises that the implications of dreams may vary according to the nature of psychology of the dreamer and these should not be generalised without taking into account the possible subconscious effect of the surroundings or the external conditions.Some of the notable dreams about future in recorded history are as follows. Few people might know that the great maratha King chattrapati Shivaji, had once seen a hidden treasure in dream. The very next day he searched the spot seen in his dream, quietly dug it up with the help of his close associates, and did find a stock of wealth as depicted in the dream.Before the birth of Lord Buddha, his mother Rani Maya had experienced a mysterious dream. She narrated it to her husband. King Shuddhodhana as "An elephant with six teeth and body mightier than iron, whiter than silver and snow, brighter than the light of the Sun and Moon, had entered in her womb in dream."The erudite astrologers invited to explain the implications of this unusual dream deciphered it as a symbolic indication of the birth of an extraordinary and enlightened child who, because of his divine generosity and sacrifice, will be honoured as the king of all kings. He will be a nomad said who will win over all desires and renounce all attachments, which proved correct.Similarly, when prince Vardhaman was in his mother's womb, the latter saw a sequel of celestial dreams with unprecedented experiences. The wisemen of the court had interpreted these as arrival of a divine soul, the reflections of whose past births were depicted rhetorically in those mysterious dreams. The child indeed proved to be exceptional and became Mahavir Swami the 24th Tirthankara of Jainism.The dreams of Tipu Sultan, king of Mysore, were very significant and he was often amazed by the intimations of future events given by his dreams.The American President Abraham Lincoln had dreamt one night that he is hearing loud cries in the white House. He is moving around to find out from where this lamenting noise is coming and why? The dream continued. Then he saw a corpse wrapped in white cloth in a nearby room. A large number of people had gathered around the body and were weeping in grief.In the dream he asked one guard about who had died? "President Lincoln", he replied, "Someone had assassinated him by bullets." Next day, the President discussed his dream with some of his friends. Everyone just laughed at the dream. But unfortunately, the dream proved true just after a short span of four days when President Lincoln was shot dead by an actor on the stage, while he was watching a play in the Ford Theatre.Edgar Allen, Mozart, Einstein and many other scientists, writers and poets have acknowledged the supernatural help and guidance received by them through dreams which contributed significantly to their extraordinary accomplishments. Citing his experiences, Einstein has acknowledged that many a time when he slept after deep engrossment and mental struggle in solving some complicated facts of mathematical equations, he found some unknown super-conscious power in the dream who showed him simplified solution procedure. These flashes of guidance enabled him solve the difficult problems with ease soon after he woke up. He also reiterated that there is a deep secret hidden in the mystery of dreams which the scientists are unable to decipher.It is said about Swami Ramtirtha that whenever he would be tired after working hard on an intractable problem in mathematics he would get the solution in his dream few hours after he fell asleep the same day.The popular stories cited in "Betal Pacchisi" are based on the experiences of King Vikramaditya or Ujjayini in a subconscious state of dreams.The Western Approach to dreams:In the early days of western civilization, people in some countries believed that during the state of sleep the soul traverses in a new world out of the body. So strong was the conviction that waking up someone from sleep was regarded risky because of the apprehension that his soul may not have returned to his body before its scheduled time and so waking him up during the period may cause his untimely death.The Greek Philosopher Aristotle was of the view that dreams could sometimes prove to be an excellent medium of knowing further and deeper across the unconscious layers of mind. Explaining the dream process he said that "when the external excitement and the agility of the conscious mind diminishes and the mental power (consciousness) moves introvert, it can bring immense knowledge from the depths of inner self. This is what gets expressed in the serene dreams of steady and peaceful sleep."Plato's views on dreams were different from those of Aristotle in the sense that though he gave importance to the possibilities of divine origin of dreams, he also accepted the role of inner instincts and suppressed desires in some dreams. In "The Republic" Plato writes" "Apparently moral and modest gentlemen may also possess hidden instincts of immorality and wild tendencies, which might be expressed in the state of sleep." This view of plato was highlighted and emphasised by the noted western psychologist Sigmund Freud 2300 years later.During the early stage of modern scientific development and the industrial revolution, the ancient philosophy of life and the science of spirituality were hidden in the smog of misconceptions and deformed notions of religious practices in the aftermath of the medieval era. The early enthusiasm of scientific achievements in this materialistic and perceptible world of nature, coupled with the ignorance, superstitions and unscientific interpretations in the domain of consciousness, had led to the virtual disbelief in the existence of the soul.However, the trend of scientific thinking changed towards early 20th century with the rising need of experimenting with the subtler and subtler particles of matter, deciphering the structure and function of the human brain and unfolding the human mind.Sigmund Freud is regarded as the first among the western psychologist who studied the effect of bodily, mental and emotional conditions on dreams. After extensive analysis of authentic information of nearly 3000 dreams, Freud explained the psychological implications of these dreams in his book 'Theory of Dreams'. He concluded that the suppressed emotions, unfulfilled (sexual) desires, and aspirations in personal and professional life, etc., trigger reactions in the conscious and unconscious domains of mind, which are expressed and artificially materialise in the imaginary world of dreams.Freiud's view held sway for a considerable period. His hypothesis was first criticised and proved to be incomplete by the eminent thinker and psychologist Carl Gustav Jung. In his notable work "Memories, Dreams and Reflections", Jung expounded his principle of Universal Pattern of Collective Consciousness', and said that although the aspirations, emotions and the reactions to ups and downs of daily life bear substantial impact on dreams, the latter could not be confined to such reflections alone.He defined dreams as "expressions of the 'communications' of the individual consciousness with one or more of the infinite impulses of the cosmic consciousness. In his view, deciphering of dreams may give us some, though indirect, idea of linkage of the individual consciousness with the omnipresent para consciousness. Jung thus affirmed the possibility and reality of premonition and extrasensory experiences through dreams.One of the objections to Freud's Theory of Dreams was that it could not explain the dreams seen by blind men. Freud himself across with dreams that were inexplicable by his Theory. In his latter book " Interpretation of Dreams" Freud accepted that dreams may sometimes reflect something beyond the reach of the aspirations and imaginations of 'physical' mind.Modern psychologists initially analysed dreams in terms of mental and bodily conditions. For instance, thirst during sleep might be expressed as a dream associated with river or water spring. If one felt suffocation in dream or felt as though someone is holding his throat tight and putting pressure on his chest, then the dreamer is quite likely to suffer from cough or some lung related disorder. A possible disorder of digestive system or the intestines might be indicated by the dream of rotten or uncooked food stuff in dreams.The research at mac Fee dream Research Institute, USA, on correlating people's mode of living, eating habits, psychological make up, character and purity of thoughts with specific kinds of dream, has concluded that the dreams of the people who are used to oily, spicy and non-vegetarian food and intoxicating substances like liquor, wine, etc, are usually dull and hazy, and often comprise of some dreadful experience. Those who followed austere mode of living and whose minds were relatively free from negative instincts of hatred, anger, jealousy, sensual passions, etc., were, on the contrary, found to enjoy good sleep and had meaningful dreams.The statistical analysis of dream reports of 30,000 persons belonging to different age group and socioeconomic background from Mexico, Australia and Nigeria by Dr. Kelvin Hall, a reputed psychologist and dream science expert of U.S.A., has shown that the artificial life-styles and passions of negative tendencies, on an average, account for 2 out of 3 dreams as horrifying or obscene. Those having instability of mind or stress of ambition, often see 7 to 8 vague dreams per night during their disturbed sleep. His survey further showed that saintly people, on an average, experience one dream in rather peaceful sleep and their dreams are usually clear, long and meaningful. The dreams of spiritually elevated people are soothing and premonitive.The dream research conducted by the psychologists and physiologists of the West in 20th century has affirmed the hypothesis of the vital role of the unconscious mind and its hidden connection with one's inner self. However, this revelation constitutes only a small fraction of the immense knowledge already deciphered by the Indian Rishis and Yogis of yore and incorporated in the Hindu Shastras.The best way to benefit from the dreams is to purify our mind by inculcating piety in thought and action. Pure and saintly minds are more likely to be charged by the spiritual force of the soul. When such a mind gets linked with soul even for a little time, our dreams at that moment would reflect the glimpses of our divine origin.Implication of Various DreamsThe implications of some commonly seen dreams compiled from different sources are as follows:Favourable DreamsDream seenBenefic resultClear SkyIncrease in fameMango treeBirth of childDishonourFreedom from worriesOwn DeathIncrease of longevityFlourishing cropGain of wealthSee dead bodyFreedom from illnessConstruction of buildingGain, prosperityElephant, cow, peacock, camelGain, prosperityClimb upProsperityCemeteryIncrease in honourBlack snakeState honourRiver GangesHappy eventsFortPromotionRide a horsePromotionLizardSudden gainRun out of fearRelief from problemsPalanquinFulfilment of desireStarsFulfilment of desireSwordVictory over enemiesGod/GoddessHappy eventMaking bedsymbol of gain/better healthWealth/jewelsHappiness from childrenDust risingGo on tripOut lemonRelief from borrow/illness.CourtVictory in caseEat sweetsIncrease in honourGreen forestHappinessFail in examinationSuccessReceive letterHappy newsFlying flagVictoryPlate full of eatablesHappinessCopper coinGain of wealthTalk with doctor/VaidyaRelief from illnessCook foodHappy newsTurn rosary (mala jap)Good luckGo on straight roadSuccessSee open doorSuccess in new enterpriseTo fly crow awayRelief from on going problemFinding a pomegranatesubstantial gainWhite cloudsChance of promotionThick dark cloudsSuccessful meeting with bossWatching a mirrorProgress in love affairDreams With malefic implicationsDream seenMalefic resultSee fireillness connected with bileLift fireProblemsOwn marriageTroubleComing of guestSudden problemSee darknessUnhappinessStormProblem in voyageOwlIllness or sorrowSelf hung upside downDishonourCut off headworry/problemBitten by dogFear from enemyFall from horseProblem/lossTheifLose of wealthPickpocketLose of wealthSee a broomLoseSeeing a pigMonetary lossSeeing a cageSufferingPulling a wire/ ropeSign of tensionDesertAdversitySee a falling starAn ill omenSelf drowningAnn ill omenFall of walllose of wealthSee tapworrySee oneself nakadFace difficultiesFall from heightLoseSee a gunProblemSee catFight with othersGiving speechAltercationThrow letterAn ill omenSee a crowAn ill omenSee door lockedStopping of projectPlate without foodAn ill omenWalk on rough roadProblemSeeing a buffaloRisking a troubleSeeing a hefty oxLoss in agricultureSeeing untidy halfpossibility of monetary lossSeeing a land slideOutbreak of epidemicLaughingWorries in futureEating watermelonSymbol of sorrowWearing over tight shoesQuarrel with partnerFalling sickDistress/painSeeing the dance of an old and black lady, or a naked fakir dancing and looking at oneself, or a person with black clothes and holding an iron rod in hand, is indicative of death.Fructification of dream resultThe night consists of four prahars (3 hr. duration each). A dream seen in the first prahar does not produce any result. That seen in second prahar fructifies in 8 months time. A dream seen in the third prahar fructifies in three months time. A dream seen in fourth prahar gives result in a month's time. A dream seen a little before Sun rise fructifies within 10-15 days, if the person does not go to sleep again. The result of benefic dreams gets reduced by telling it to others.Click Here to Get Pitra Dosha ReportPalliative measuresAccording to Shastras if a person sees a bad dream and goes to sleep again, then its result does not fructify. To ward off the effect of very malefic dream, the person should worship Pipal tree, recite Mahamrityunjaya Mantra, Shri Vishnu Sahastranam Stotra, Gajendra Stotra or Durga Saptasati, followed by havan, feeding of brahman and giving dan according to one's resources.