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This answer may contain sensitive images. Click on an image to unblur it.Really? Well, let’s start with:18 USC 922(g)(g)It shall be unlawful for any person—(1) who has been convicted in any court of, a crime punishable by imprisonment for a term exceeding one year;(2) who is a fugitive from justice;(3) who is an unlawful user of or addicted to any controlled substance (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 802));(4) who has been adjudicated as a mental defective or who has been committed to a mental institution;(5) who, being an alien—(A) is illegally or unlawfully in the United States; or(B) except as provided in subsection (y)(2), has been admitted to the United States under a nonimmigrant visa (as that term is defined in section 101(a)(26) of the Immigration and Nationality Act (8 U.S.C. 1101(a)(26)));(6) who has been discharged from the Armed Forces under dishonorable conditions;(7) who, having been a citizen of the United States, has renounced his citizenship;(8) who is subject to a court order that—(A) was issued after a hearing of which such person received actual notice, and at which such person had an opportunity to participate;(B) restrains such person from harassing, stalking, or threatening an intimate partner of such person or child of such intimate partner or person, or engaging in other conduct that would place an intimate partner in reasonable fear of bodily injury to the partner or child; and(C) (i) includes a finding that such person represents a credible threat to the physical safety of such intimate partner or child; or(ii) by its terms explicitly prohibits the use, attempted use, or threatened use of physical force against such intimate partner or child that would reasonably be expected to cause bodily injury; or(9) who has been convicted in any court of a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence,to ship or transport in interstate or foreign commerce, or possess in or affecting commerce, any firearm or ammunition; or to receive any firearm or ammunition which has been shipped or transported in interstate or foreign commerce.This is the Federal “prohibited persons” provision, a cornerstone of Federal firearms law. It describes the various criteria defining a “prohibited person”, and actually prohibits them shipping, transporting, receiving or possessing any firearm in or affecting interstate commerce (and any gun that’s been in an FFL’s hands has, by definition, moved in interstate commerce). Punishment for violating this section of the US Code is laid out in Section 924(a)(2), and prescribes a punishment not to exceed 10 years imprisonment and a fine not to exceed $250,000. 18 U.S. Code § 922 - Unlawful acts, 18 U.S. Code § 924 - Penalties, 18 U.S. Code § 3571 - Sentence of fineThe National Instant Check System or NICS is required to be used by all FFLs transferring a firearm from their possession to anyone who isn’t an FFL or the lawful owner of the firearm giving it to the FFL for purposes of inspection, repair or sale who is now due to reclaim his property. That requirement is paragraph (s) of section 922.NICS conducted about 26 million background checks in 2018 (a few million of those are in furtherance of carry permit laws in some states; most are for purchase of a firearm). From 1998 through 2018 it has issued 1.6 million denials, or about 80 thousand a year. Depending on the specific year those denials can be as high as 120,000. NICS Firearm Checks: Month/Year | Federal Bureau of Investigation, Federal Denials | Federal Bureau of InvestigationThese denials are evidence of a crime; up to 120,000 people in a year tried to buy a firearm with a prohibiting event on their record. The most common reason for denial was for conviction on a felony offense, followed by being a fugitive from justice (active arrest warrant pending), being an unlawful user of marijuana or narcotic drugs (it’s still illegal under Federal law), and misdemeanor domestic violence convictions. These are generally not things you just forget when you belly up to the counter of a gun store, so the general assumption is that 120,000 people are committing a 10-year Federal felony.How many are prosecuted, annually? About 12. Approximately one one-hundredth of one percent of people who intentionally tried to buy a firearm with a legitimate prohibiting event on their Federal record actually see a courtroom for committing this crime. Only about 1% are even given a second look by the FBI/ATF. https://www.gao.gov/assets/700/694290.pdfWhile I wouldn’t expect 100k prosecutions annually, for a number of reasons (false denials are a thing, and it’s plausible that someone might be unaware they are a fugitive from justice or that a particular event in their lives is considered prohibiting), these can be better resolved with dramatic improvement in long-term crime numbers by following up on the denial. If the denial was incorrectly issued, the records can be cleaned up, minimizing the chance this will be a problem in future. If a person was unaware of a prohibiting event or that an event was prohibiting, it could be an honest mistake, “everybody gets one”. But now you’re on notice; you can’t own a firearm, and Feds should follow up with local law enforcement to be sure they don’t (or that the prohibiting event is resolved; being a fugitive from justice can be as simple as a failure to appear warrant for a speeding ticket, not a permanent disqualifier).Now, that’s assuming they’re denied in the first place. The Sutherland Springs church shooting happened because the Air Force JAG forgot to report Devin Kelley’s domestic violence court-martial and bad conduct discharge to NICS, and as a result, his record was clear enough that an Academy Sports outside San Antonio sold him the AR-15 he used in the shooting as well as two other pistols he had on him at the conclusion of the chase. A subsequent audit of all military Judge Advocate General’s Corps dispositions found over 4000 other disqualifying convictions that went unreported to NICS; this represents about 8 years’ worth of the JAG Corps’ total caseload. So Kelley wasn’t an isolated “whoopsie” that fell through the cracks; they weren’t even trying.You want another one? How about…18 USC 922(q)This is the Federal Gun-Free School Zones Act. Passed largely in response to the Stockton Shooting as well as a worrying general rise in violent crime and gang violence correlated with the 1990–91 recession, Congress made it illegal to possess a firearm while in a school zone (basically within 1000 feet of the nearest entrance to a school building), unless the person was a law enforcement officer on duty, was on their own property, was participating in a school-sanctioned event for which the gun was necessary, or if State law made other provisions for licensed firearm carriers. After a round through the courts challenging Congress’s power to make such a law (the initial version relied on the fact that public schools received Federal funds and were therefore Federal facilities, which was rejected by SCOTUS), an amended version using the Commerce Clause to define the prohibited guns was allowed to stand in 1998.Enforcement? Boils down to a few million of these littered on poles next to sidewalks and streets:For 99% of schools, that’s the extent of the means to proactively enforce this law.One guess how many school shooters have seen the sign and gone “oh darn, guess I won’t be committing multiple counts of premeditated murder here, there’s a sign on a post warning of a 5-year Federal prison sentence if I walk past it with a gun”.If you want a “gun free zone”, a real one, this is how you do it:Entry checkpoints with metal detectors and armed security. Ideally, backed up with a few of these guys strategically positioned to be able to quickly get to any of a few nearby checkpoints:They don’t have to be fully kitted out SWAT-style, just visibly present and visibly ready for some put-upon little punk in a trenchcoat planning on taking his frustrations out on his classmates. A would-be shooter can try to shoot his way past a security checkpoint, Matrix-style, but against several officers trained not only to shoot but to work together, that can group and converge in seconds instead of minutes, that shooter’s not getting to the kinds of double-digit casualty counts that make shooters into household names.What’s that I hear? “Too expensive”? “Requires double the current active-duty police force during school hours”? “10,000 public schools needing security retrofits that already can’t afford textbooks”? Valid points, all. But I’ll let you in on a little secret; you’d need all this anyway to actively prevent mass killings at schools. Even without any so-called “assault weapons” in civilian hands. Most events tracked as “mass shootings” by the Gun Violence Archive are committed with handguns, which the Supreme Court ruled are very definitely protected by the 2A regarding their ownership and storage in a ready-to-use state. So you can do whatever you think is in your power to ban scary-looking rifles, and kids intent on killing classmates will break into their parents’ safe for a 9mm with 10-round magazines, and with just two or three magazines he’ll have enough to be all the cable news networks can talk about for days. Even short of that, mass shooters have also brought bombs to school (fortunately for us, to date, they’ve been lousy bombmakers), and in countries with strict gun control, vehicles are the weapon of choice.There is, of course, a less expensive option:Yeah, yeah, get it all out of your system. I’m calling to “arm the teachers”, so naturally I want overworked underpaid educators who routinely engage in fistfights with their own students in many areas of the country to be packing, so instead of simply body-slamming an unruly student they can empty a magazine into him.And why not? Coach Aaron Feis was a security guard when not coaching football at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. He had a Florida carry permit. But as school faculty, he was prohibited to carry a firearm on campus. Had he had the opportunity to shoot back instead of valiantly (and vainly) trying to shield students from the gunfire, some lives might have been saved at the cost of one mentally-deranged recently-expelled former student who had already fallen through every single extant crack in the school, social and criminal justice systems at every level.This story of teachers being willing and able, but prevented by law, from carrying on campus is repeated across every school in the country. You balk at the cost in man-hours and equipment required to “harden the targets” with entry checkpoints; the very least we can do is allow the teachers who are willing and able to maintain proficiency with a firearm to carry that firearm in their own workplace. They have to be there anyway. We’re already paying their salaries to teach our kids. Subsidizing the cost of their carry permits and making an exception to the law can be done at a small fraction of the cost of a single police officer or private security contractor.And besides, teachers own guns. This is not news. People can easily bring weapons into schools. This is not news either. If teachers carrying concealed at school were going to be a problem, it would already be one. A teacher would already have been the perpetrator of a mass shooting, laws or no laws; they’re subjected to even less scrutiny by what little campus security we have than the students.This is classic “blood in the streets” dire prediction mode from gun control advocates, that they roll out any time there’s a proposal to increase the presence of weapons held by trained, licensed law-abiding individuals. It has never come true. Concealed carry, open carry, Constitutional carry; every time one of these laws is proposed, you hear “wild wild west, people gunned down for jaywalking”. Hasn’t happened yet, in fact by most measures concealed carriers are more law-abiding than the police themselves.The ATF, at last report, has a budget of about $1.2 billion, with which it employs about 5,000 total enforcement agents and administrative staff. Those manpower numbers are nearly identical to the numbers from 2000, and the budget increases are easily attributable to COLAs based on inflation in that time. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and ExplosivesThe agency is required by law to audit every FFL’s sales and inventory records annually. It manages a full audit of just 7% of the roughly 135,000 FFLs. It is also required to process and approve NFA forms for the manufacture, sale, purchase and licensure of Title II weapons categories, as well as ordinary FFLs. Last I checked the backlog on this paperwork was about 8 months long.A records retention center in West Virginia houses not only NICS, but the ATF Firearms Tracing Center and a records repository “of last resort” for 4473 forms and inventory logs of gun dealers who have gone out of business without a successor entity to take over the bookkeeping. As of the mid-2010s, that facility was literally bursting at the seams and buckling the rafters under the weight of paper records it is generally prohibited to digitize in any computationally-queryable formatunder the Firearm Owner’s Protection Act, because a searchable database of gun transaction records is a “registry” and the US government is forbidden by law to maintain one. It recently got approval to scan them in as ordinary image files, no OCR or other metadata translation allowed, and searchable only by filename, basically giving them a digital equivalent of the paper file system they were managing. That effort is still ongoing, as they had about 285 million records as of when they got the ability to do this, and receive about two million new sheets of paper every month.So the ATF does not have the people or the funding it requires to do the job with which it is tasked. This causes it to chronically fail to meaningfully enforce the bulk of US firearms law, simply because it does not have the time to devote to a full investigation. Neither, for that matter, does the FBI, who is better-funded, but most of its funding in the 21st Century has been earmarked for counter-terrorism, drug interdiction and financial crimes in partnership with other three-letter agencies. They’re not going to drop all that to go bust Johnny Gangbanger for trucking straw-bought handguns across the Indiana-Illinois border to sell on Chicago’s West Side or in East St Louis. That leaves the matter to State and local law enforcement, where laws for felon-in-possession and for trafficking across state lines either don’t exist or carry much lower penalties (a year or two in jail instead of 10). Most of these charges end up getting dropped in plea-bargain deals for crimes with more public interest like drug possession or burglary.

Statistically, it was the Sherman, so that’s what I believed. I own now 30 books on tanks. Not tank battles, or tank generals, I own those too, but tanks.The first thing that came up was in a lecture or presentation by Nicholas Moran, a historian for a tank multi player tanks combat game. He said a friend of his had challenged him on the Sherman statistics, because unlike other countries, the US had plenty of spares, they were usually advancing, so they could recover damaged tanks rather than leave them DOA on the battlefield, and repair them, with adequate large dedicated repair depots. Since the reliability figures are based on availability (as are combat aircraft reliability) the reliability is what % of tanks out of your total inventory, are combat ready on a given day. That is they start up, everything works, and they can go into action. So if you have 100 tanks Tuesday morning, and 50 died during the day, but 45 were repaired overnight, your availability Wednesday is 95%, even though half your tanks didn’t work at the end of Tuesday. So it stands to reason a country with loads of spares, dedicated repair vehicles, and can recover 3 damaged ranks (which come off your inventory for reliability purposes, you no longer have 100, you have 97) but you can take parts from tank 3, and get 1 and 2 going, which raises the numerator in availability.Formulaically% Availability = (Tanks Combat ready/total tanks in inventory) X 100.So we have 97 tanks Tuesday morning, because 3 were taken off the denominator. ( availability equals tanks that work Wednesday morning divided by total tanks in inventory times 100. So Tuesday morning let’s say I have 97 tanks because 3+were damaged Monday. My availability is tanks that work Wednesday morning divided by 97 times 100. Let’s say 2 break and I can’t get them going, so Wednesday my Availibility would be 95 divided by my new inventory of 97 (because 3 were KIA Monday times 100. BUT of the three KIA I strip tank 3 and get tanks 1 and 2 working, so now my numbers are 97 (my good 95 plus the two I salvaged) divided by 97 inventory ( because I took those 3 KIA off inventory) times 100, or 100%. So being able to recover tanks and fix them in dedicated repair depots plus plenty of spare to fix tanks that just plain old break down gives you really high availability numbers but masks how many tanks actually breakdown every day!!!! That was the substance of the Moran talk, and he’s right, someone needs to deep dive into repair logs to find out on a given day, how many tanks do I have to fix because of breakdowns (because unlike everybody else, I have plenty of spares and dedicated skilled repair depots.)The other piece that dawned on me the other day was this, and I never thought how it skewed reliability numbers until just now.In the US in 1939, there was 1 car for every 4.4 of poulation. So US troops, or most of them, had a rudimentary mechanical knowledge of what were rudimentary engines and transmissions. At 18, I changed water pumps, replaced head gaskets, and replaced a a clutch and throw out bearing and pressure plate. Changed brake pads all the time. You could still work on your own car in the early 70’s, before alll the anti-pollution crap started cluttering engine bays. My Dad was a transmission mechanic when he joined the Marines in 1942. So, many repairs the drivers or soldiers could do. Germany was one car every 37.5 people. ( from my answer on the footnoted question yesterday[1][1][1][1] no self plagiarism). In the UK, 1 in 32 had cars. France, 1 car for every 23.3, Italy, 1 car for every 130 people. (No numbers for USSR but surely worse than Germany, maybe Italy area) Vehicles per Pop numbers are from page 26 of this book[2][2][2][2] )So now, the US has more innate knowledge of the gasoline engine and transmissions than any other armored force. And as any tanker will tell you, Tier 1 support of any vehicle is the crew. In fact, in the Tigerfibel, or Tiger Bible, the crew Manual for a Tiger Tank, about 1/3 is maintenance routines and minor crew fixes.Same for the ShermanBut 1 vehicle for every 4.4 people in the US. Sherman had a crew of 5, and the 1 in 4.4 in the US includes women and children. So my idiot math says odds are two of that five Sherman crew probably own a car, and therefore maintain a car. Certainly at least 1 out of the 5?So that also skews availability numbers, because the crew would fix things overnight and never report the tank had been out of service, even away from depots.I still think the Sherman is most reliable, because of simplified design, parts standardization, so not a lot of unproven technology, and an enthusiastic work force in factories, but somebody needs to deep dive into Archives I don’t have access too in the US, USSR, Germany, UK Japan, and Italy.EDIT ONE: 10–16–2019As usual, whilst looking for something else entirely. A test performed in September-October of various tanks, British and American. It was codenamed “Exercise Dracula”[3][3][3][3] [4][4][4][4]A British observer wrote:“Firstly, a letter from a British observer, a chap named Alec Richardson, presumably of the British Tank Mission. Letter dated 15thOctober 1943, amongst other topics, there’s a section entitled “On Centaur and Cromwell”. I quote:These tanks have made us a laughing stock out here. The Cromwell has had a variety of troubles, and it was mad only sending out only one of each. The Americans are politely indifferent to what happens to them and Waller, the Rolls Royce man with them, is most unhappy and wants them withdrawn as soon as possible. We are undoubtedly the world’s worst salesmen!I strongly advise we send out no more British tanks until they are reliable, and then, when we do, we send out about two trained troops with a first class officer in charge of them.We have lost a lot of prestige over these pool lone derelicts.Finally, and I consider this most important, WE MUST MAKE A FIRST CLASS CRUISER AND LIGHT TANK AT HOME, however long it takes us. The new Cromwell should fill the interim, for, say, the next year or two, but WE MUST REGAIN OUR PRESTIGE.The Americans have been a bit in the doldrums lately with their T.20s, but they will emerge and produce the goods in due course.This is our chance to get ahead of them, but we must redesign, and not be content with botching up an obsolescent typeForgive me for being so didactic, as I feel it’s mainly my fault we haven’t got a good tank now!Whether he felt the sample size was representative or not, in any case he makes no mention of perceived national bias. There is, however, a control case. There is a rather large file in the British archives about an “Exercise Dracula”, in which the British Army, between 04AUG43 and 22SEP43, ran a full squadron of tanks against each other. At least 2x Cromwell III, 3x Cromwell I, 3x Centaur I, 3x M4A2 and 3x M4A4. The final report, marked “Most Secret”, was filed by Major General A.C. Richardson.The first ten days of the exercise was preparation and checking of the vehicles at Bovington. Then, 15AUG to 12SEP were road and cross-country trials round England, returning to Bovington after approximately 2,000 miles. The remainder of the exercise was “intensive road and cross-country running in the vicinity of Bovington”[5][5][5][5]The report is hard to read on the screen, so I’ll include the link, rather than copy it all here.[6][6][6][6]An even more detailed, period copy is also available, 9 pages, link attached.[7][7][7][7]It is important that these various reports be read in their entirety, and not judged on a single table or photo.I have good friend in the UK working on wading through Archives to find the complete report, not the summary mentioned here.Footnotes[1] David Fred's answer to Had Hitler prepared his troops for winter, would he have conquered Russia?[1] David Fred's answer to Had Hitler prepared his troops for winter, would he have conquered Russia?[1] David Fred's answer to Had Hitler prepared his troops for winter, would he have conquered Russia?[1] David Fred's answer to Had Hitler prepared his troops for winter, would he have conquered Russia?[2] Dirty Little Secrets of World War II[2] Dirty Little Secrets of World War II[2] Dirty Little Secrets of World War II[2] Dirty Little Secrets of World War II[3] The Chieftain's Hatch: Exercise Dracula[3] The Chieftain's Hatch: Exercise Dracula[3] The Chieftain's Hatch: Exercise Dracula[3] The Chieftain's Hatch: Exercise Dracula[4] Exercise Dracula Part II: testing between the Centaur, Cromwell & Sherman, by World of Tanks[4] Exercise Dracula Part II: testing between the Centaur, Cromwell & Sherman, by World of Tanks[4] Exercise Dracula Part II: testing between the Centaur, Cromwell & Sherman, by World of Tanks[4] Exercise Dracula Part II: testing between the Centaur, Cromwell & Sherman, by World of Tanks[5] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[5] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[5] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[5] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[6] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[6] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[6] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[6] The Chieftain's Hatch: Testing Brit Cruisers[7] https://worldoftanks.com/dcont/fb/document/cromcentshermmaint.pdf[7] https://worldoftanks.com/dcont/fb/document/cromcentshermmaint.pdf[7] https://worldoftanks.com/dcont/fb/document/cromcentshermmaint.pdf[7] https://worldoftanks.com/dcont/fb/document/cromcentshermmaint.pdf

[Originally drafted on December 23, but I just got around to finishing this answer.]"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face....He's going to do this, do that. Everybody has a plan until they get hit. Then, like a rat, they stop in fear and freeze.”—Former Heavyweight Champ Mike Tyson“The practice of readiness is more about recreation than preparation.”— Former Navy SEAL Eric DavisWhile I do love zombie movies and TV shows, I have never walked through Home Depot taking note of what could be used as weapons if the zombies arrive and suddenly I’m in the stronghold for the last of the uninfected. I don't have a zombie gun or an INCH bag or a SHTF cabin. I doubt I've given them any thought.As it so happens, however, I’m reading this question while actually parked at a Walmart — just down the highway from a middle-of-nowhere prison town, halfway through a cross-country trip — which makes the idea of a dry run (a Supermarket Survival Sweep, if you will[1]) suddenly intriguing. I'm curious to see how this would actually play out. I mean, this place is huge — at least 230,000 square feet by the looks of it— and I haven't been to a Walmart in years. Plus, it can't be that they all stock the same things in the same way (firearms in particular). Nevertheless, I have a plan. It's probably a terrible plan. Still, it’s a plan.Here are the rules:I’m not diving into the weeds. Let's just say it's zero-hour and I have free-range inside for 10 minutes. I'll assume that what's here now would be here, stored as is. Also, the zombies and outbreak will be the Romero/Kirkman standard (rather than one of the other 300-some varieties).I'm not making a list, checking inventory, or other pre-planning. I'll also proceed as if I have none of the assets in my truck, just what I'm carrying on my person at this exact moment — my clothes, wallet, watch, phone and wireless drive, and the shoes on my feet — plus, of course, the dog.The countdown starts once I enter Walmart, and the timer stops once I return to that entrance. And there will be no time-outs. I'll also use a walk-tracking app to record time, distance, path, and speed.Since an actual looting spree would result in my arrest or homicide, I’ll instead briskly walk through the store pawing whatever I would be looting, taking close-up pictures. For things that are secured (i.e., guns, controlled substances, and pricey electronics), I'll pause a reasonable time to simulate a smash and grab.Finally, I’ll limit myself to items and an overall volume that I imagine would fit in my cart(s), or which I could otherwise transport.Let’s begin.OUTSIDE(1) Display by Garden/Plants:Two 96-Gallon Trash Cans.Stock carts with: A Chopping Axe, a Small Sledge (I don’t think they even sell the latter; both useful for “liberating” secured loot), Trimmer Cord (useful for opening doors with slam latches), Nylon Outdoor Couch and Ottoman Covers (waterproof, durable fabric), and a rusty Extendable Branch Trimmer (not pictured).A pallet with Heavy-Duty Webbing.A telescoping pole like the trimmer (and hiking poles) with a hook, plus some FAST rope, tubular webbing, or escape ladder makes for an improvised way to place breaching or rescue gear.The trash cans will hold more than the shopping carts. (In fact, some community response agencies use them to store and distribute kit during disasters. Also, they make for decent rain collection barrels.) The plan is to fill one, then return to some point for the other.FOYER (10:00-9:44 left)(2) Entrance/Shopping Cart:An Extension Cord, Fish Tape, and a Cordless Drill; a Tool Bag containing: a 50-Bit Set, a Multi-Bit Screwdriver, a Folding Hex Key, Pliers and Vise Grips, a File, Utility and Hawkbill Knives, a Multi-Tool, a Jab Saw, a Wire Cutter/Stripper, Aviation Snips, a Tape Measure, a Framing Hammer, and a Stanley FuBar.A handful of Walmart Shopping Bags.Whether intentional or just a matter of sloppiness, I saw at least 8 places where tools and other goodies were left lying around. (This one seems to part of an actual project, however, not just a surreptitious display item.)HEALTH AND BEAUTY SECTION (9:42-8:20 REMAINING)(3) Supplements and Adult/Performance Nutrition Aisles:Salmon/Fish/Krill/Omega-3 Oil (you can't have too much fish oil) and Chia Seeds, a Greens Supplement, Emergen-C (all in a row), and a Multi-Vitamin.Mass Gainer, Protein Powder, and BCAAs (all by less-distinguished brands), 3 flavors of Atkins Shakes, and Ensure; and Boxes of Met-Rx, Atkins, Cliff and Cliff Builders, Kind, and Lara-Brand Bars, plus Power Bar Energy Gels and Cubes.Prune Juice.The variety in protein supplements here is intentional, as mass consumption of the same brand, particularly if it's low quality, can result in "unpleasant" developments. Also, after looking at my food stash, I may be needing the prune juice.(4) Pharmacy/Counter and Adjacent Displays:(Planning for gold in the) Pharmacy Pick-up Orders.First Aid Kits, Wound Care Kits (which, happily, contain Celox, a hemostatic agent), Blister Kit, Rubber Gloves.Antiseptic and Hydrogen Peroixide; and (from a return cart) Pedialyte (an oral electrolyte great for athletes), Benadryl (for the dog especially), and Gold Bond Friction Defense and Moisturizer.And a blood pressure cuff, which (along with a door stop) can be used for an impromptu Air Wedge should you lock your keys in the car and find AAA to be … unresponsive.I estimated it would take 22 seconds to open the half-door and rip the prescriptions off the clips by the armful. The results will be very much a "box of chocolates”; but, out of the 300+ prescription orders, at least 10% minimum should be useful.[2](5) Travel-Size and Soap Aisle:Personal Wipes on the end caps (all the wipes are mine; except the painful antibacterial ones).Travel sizes items (i.e., Toothpaste, Toothbrushes, and Floss (now is not the time to skimp on dental hygiene); Bar Soap; Cotton Pads; Gold Bond Powder, Lip Balm, Vaseline, and Moisturizer (seriously); and Lysol Spray and Clorox Wipes.Pantyhose and Nylons (to, uh, reduce skin chafing).I will hypothetically literally run out of food before I do wipes and toilet paper — and not by accident.DIY SECTIONS (8:18 -7:32 REMAINING)(6) End Caps of Outdoor Improvement Aisle:Assorted Solar-Powered Accent Lights (basically solar powered battery chargers) and boxes of AA, AAA, and 3.7v Li-ion and NiMH Batteries.(7) Tool Aisle:Leather and Mechanix Wear M-Pact Gloves, Large and Small Cans of WD-40, a Gerber Micro-Tool, Leatherman, Hearing and Eye Protection, C-Clamps, Hand Riviter, 18” Bolt Cutters, a Stanley 252-Piece Tool Set, and Nylon Mechanic’s Bags and Carpenter’s Belts.Cordless Dremel Rotary Tool and Kit, B&D 20V Cordless Drill and Project Kit, and a Hyper Tough Corded Angle Grinder and Kit.(On the end cap or back wall) Mini-Duraflame Log, (mislaid) Heavy Duty Plastic Wrap, Long Stick Matches, Auto/Marine Fire Extinguisher, Rubber Door Wedges (a fast way to jam a door), and a Kidde Emergency 2-Story Escape Ladder (it’s easy enough to make your own Etrier, but this is ready-made; though parts certainly could be trimmed to cut weight (ounces = pounds, pounds = pain, etc.)).The mechanic’s bags are some of the most durable yet flexible fabric in the store: Tough enough that I've used them to reinforce old pants when clearing very thorny brush, and made of thicker material than what’s used to make Kong chew toys. The door stoppers can be used for vehicle entry and (duh!) can stop doors from being opened.Also: Why do survivors always stumble right into a moaning hoard? They’re all deaf. “Mawp ...mawp...mawp…MAWP….”AUTO CARE (7:30-6:03 REMAINING)(8) Tire And Lube Shop:● Spare Tire; Car Batteries from the assorted groups; Powermate Portable Inverter Generator.(9) Body, Engine Repair, and RV Aisle:(All in a row) 5W-20/30 Motor Oil, Antifreeze/Coolant, ATS and Drivertrain Fluids, Stop-Leak Products, Silicone and Graphite Lubricants, Refrigerant, Compressed Air, and an Air Filter.Fix-a-Flat, and a Slime Flat Tire Repair Kit.Grey Primer, Spray Tint/Kit, Plastidip, Flex Seal (good for adding grip and eliminating metal-on-metal noise), and Bed Liner Coating.Various Tapes (Duct/Gorilla in assorted colors, plus Rubber and Silicone Tapes), Glues/Epoxies, etc (i.e., Goop; Loctitie Sumo, Quick-Dry, and Epoxy; Rubber Cement; J-B Weld and Stix), and FiberFix.A Camco Marine/RV Water Filter and an Auto/Marine Fire Extinguisher.Bed liner (rubberized polyurethane) is pretty versatile stuff, from protecting fuel cans to lining ponds, to (so it appears) some ... less traditional uses.(10) Travel and Interior Aisle:Recovery Snatch Strap and Recovery Strap, Utility Chain, SmartStraps, Cambuckle and Ratchet Tie Downs, Nite Ize Gear Ties, Bungee Cargo Nets, Shackles, Waterproof Roof Top Cargo Bag, a Grey Tarp, and a 6x4 Rubber Cargo Mat.Here are just a few of the many ways flat webbing and ratchets can be used to lock, secure, hoist, carry, tow, anchor, and self-rescue.(11) Towing and Electronics Aisle:Cobra CB Radio (behind an easily-smashed glass display).Torin Off-Road Jack. (Almost literally a jack of all trades, serving as a jack, winch, spreader, clamper, locker, crusher, and puller. Useful for garage and door entry, as well for as barring doors.)Reese Electric Winch, Deep Socket Set, Maxsa Foldable Traction Mats.Fuse/Repair Kit; Schumacher Multi-Functional Power Station, 500 Watt Power Inverter, Battery Cables, and an Emergency Kit Travel Kit with Extended Jumper Cables.Siphon, 2-Gallon Gas Cans; Big and Small U-locks, and Cable/Receiver Locks; Zip-Ties (note: automotive plastic ties are usually stronger and more useful than the regular ones); and a Half-Shell Motorcycle Helmet and Goggles, and Motorcycle Batteries.SPORTING GOODS (6:00-3:44 REMAINING)(12) Fishing Aisle:(On end cap) 80-Test Fishing Line, Nylon Tackle Bag, and a Casting Net.Fishing Knife, Line Cutter (basically, a seatbelt cutter), Flare Gun, Ray Guard/Walk-N-Wade Guards, L/R Lindy Fish Gloves(!).12-Gallon Plastic Fuel Tank; Large carabiners, S/9 Biners, Snap Hooks/Links, Cam Jams, Metal O-Rings, Cleats, Lashing Tabs, U-Bolts, Marine Waterproofer, and Dock/Anchor/Utility/Rigging Line and 550 (all of which which can be braided into something more useful — see this under-appreciated masterpiece for more fun).What are Lindy fish gloves? Well, they're made with SuperFabric®, which is a multi-layered fabric covered with tiny plasticized resin guard plates, designed to protect against barbed-wire, cuts and stabs, and even snake bites and needle puncture. You’ll also see it on tactical gear and motorcycle apparel, and find it wherever people handle sharp and pointy things.[3](13) Hunting and Shooting Aisle:A Remington 870 shotgun, a .308, a Ruger 10/22 (in the main firearms cabinet).Ammunition for current selection of firearms, plus other popular calibers, 9mm and .223/.556 especially (in a secondary cabinet).1-6x24 Scope and 3-9x32 Scope, CenterPoint 1x25mm and Aimpoint Holographic Optics, Sightmark Night Raider 2.5x50 Night Vision Scope, 60x Spotting Scope, GSM IR-Capable Trail Cam (all in the flat display cabinet), and a Workplace Employee’s First-Aid Cabinet (underneath the cash register).Mounting Accesories, Batteries for Optics, Truglo Shotgun Front Sights, Weapon Light, SOG EOD Multi-Tool, Gerber Hunting Knive, Bowie Knife, and Ammunition Pouches and Cans.The firearms in this Walmart were left in a vertical display cabinet (not secured in a cage and/or with a cable) which is quite smashable. The glass on the counter displays will, to varying degrees, be stronger. The drawer behind the counter, fortunately, is generally much less so. (Estimated time spent smashing the glass and grabbing the loot: 35 seconds. Right now is why I brought along the axe and FUBAR and grabbed those leather gloves.) Each gun did have a tubular trigger lock. While the same brand of locks are sold in-store, and thus might provide a twin key, drilling/cutting the locks will be just as efficient.Side note: I walked right past a Smith’s sharpening kit and a hand-held GPS. It should go without saying that I indeed missed many things: like a collapsable ladder, a flexible inspection camera/endoscope, a pink “Brave” compound bow, a sling case for rifles, a compass, a Nikon Camera with 55–300 mm lenses, the entire hardware aisle….(14) Camping Aisle:8 or 9 Flashlights and Headlamps of varying battery platforms; a Micro-Light (always good to keep a micro on your zipper/chest strap), and Glow Sticks (which can be dropped from distance to illuminate the ground, work underwater, and won't set things on fire).PVC/Nylon Rain Suit, Poncho, Waterproof Pack Cover, and a Ozark Trail 2–1 Hammock/Sleeping Bag15/25/45L Backpacks, a Camelbak-Type Pack and extra Bladder, and a Coleman Rolling Duffle.Bear Grylls/Gerber Parang, Machete, Hand Axe, Fixed-Blade, and Multi-Tool; and an Ozark Trail Folding Shovel.Propane and Butane Fuel, Pocket Survival Stove, Combustible Cubes, and Waterproof Matches.Purifying tablets; Lifestraw-type filter, Cobra 2-Way Radio, Fire Starter, Emergency Blankets (for heat and signaling), “Commando” Saw, Tenacious Tape Repair Patch, and 2 pair of Cascade Mountain telescoping Carbon Fiber Trekking Poles.Mountain House Camping Meals and UST Emergency Rations (50 and 70 total, respectively).Stainless Steel Water Bottles, and collapsible 5-Gallon Water Bag, and as many 7-Gallon Plastic Jerry Cans will fit.The lights cover all battery platforms — AA, AAA, CR2, CR123, CR2032, C and D — particularly since camera (CR) batteries are more likely to be overlooked by looters. Was it hard to find the CR-powered lights among the wall of choices? Nope, just grabbed the most expensive compact models.Incidentally, anyone hoping for a “high-quality” machete will have to settle for what will basically be a giant spatula after more than a few wacks to a human head. Also, the only bats in the store were for t-ball — really just fish bats with delusions of grandeur.(15) Fitness Aisle End Cap:● Gold’s Gym 40-Pound Training Vest (snatched from an already open box; no need for the weights), and a Yoga Mat.I may die wearing a fitness vest for a chest rig, using a yoga mat as a bed roll. :((16) Bike Aisle End Cap:● Inner Tubes (with a 1000 uses).RETURN TO STARTING POINT (3:44-3:35 REMAINING)(17) End Caps and Displays on the Way Back:● FoodSaver Heat Seal Vacuum Rolls; Tea Candles; Dish Soap and Clorox Wipes; and a bag of Dog Food.ELECTRONICS, HOME GOODS, AND CLOTHING (3:33-2:14 REMAINING)(18) Craft Aisle:● A Lockstitch Sewing Awl, Upholstery/Size 18 Hand Needles.(19) Clearance Electronics/Camera Section:● Pocket Juice 20,000 mAh Portable Charger; Parrot Camera Drone, plus Extra Battery; a Compact 50” Pocket Tripod and a Gorillapod (since most of your post-apocalypse long-gun shooting will likely involve non-standard positions).(20) Men’s Wear:● Assorted Clothing in a return cart: Jeans (which, amazingly, might fit), Underwear, Polyblend and Marino Wool Socks, T-shirts, Sweaters, and Performance Pullovers. Also, a nearby Dickie’s Canvas Work Jacket.I'm struck by the range of clothing sizes. It later took me 3 minutes just to find pants remotely in my size. No amount of hemming will make a pair of 48x32 pants wearable for me.(21) Footwear:Interceptor “Tactical” Boots, Rubber Muck Boots, and OP Men’s Water Shoes.Saddle Soap/Leather Lotion (helps condition shoes to be sneaky Pete), and Freesole and Aquaseal (great not just for shoe repair, but also adding a flexible, tear-resistant coating to clothing, nylon especially).Quality boots may be, without exaggeration, the second or third most important bit of kit. What goes on your feet will determine whether blisters, hotspots, athlete’s foot, and/or peripheral neuropathy slow you down. These, however, are not quality — they merely happened to be on the clearance racks, in roughly my size. Of course, there’s no time to try anything on (in which case maybe go a size up).GROCERY (2:03-1:10 REMAINING)(22) End of Kitchen Aisle:Toilet paper (on the end cap), Press-and-Seal, Zip-Lock and Snap Lock Bags, and 3 Mil Contractor Bags.(23) Stock Cart:Peanut Butter and PBfit Powdered Peanut Butter, Iberia and Goya Beans, Goya Cooking Paste, Kraft Mac and Cheese Cups, Quaker Oatmeal, Great Value Chunk Light Tuna, White Rice, and five flavors of Earth’s Best Baby Food.This Walmart was filled with these ready-made, pot-luck emergency pantries. Let's hope the Zompocalypse starts after 7:00 pm.(24) Grocery Aisle End Caps and Displays.Applesauce, Canned Fruits, Instant Soup, and Canned Pumpkin.EVOO, Nut, Sesame, Avocado, and Blended Oils (i.e., liquid fat).Tea, Coco, and Coffee (don't underestimate the value of creature comforts).CHECKOUT (1:08-:38 REMAINING)(25) Impulse Displays:Red Bull and 5-Hour Energy Drinks, 36-Packs of Bottled Water, so-so much Krave Jerky and Summer Sausage, Bulk Mixed Nuts (the delux, peanut-free kind!), Pretzels, M&M's, Bananas, and Doritos.That the cheesy dust of powdered fat is both yummy and really flammable. And bananas can make a gastric-friendly energy paste and treat burns, while the peels can, among other things, be used to filter water.(26) Battery Display:● Batteries of all the various sizes.(27) Checkout Aisle:● Pens; Bic Lighters, Butane Lighters, and Zippos; and a Cartoon of Cigarettes, a Phone Charger, 50 State Atlas, and Trail Mix.I don't smoke; but I've heard enough stories of WWII POWs trading smokes for boots that I'm banking on them making for good currency.FINISH (28 SECONDS REMAINING)(28) Display:● A KayakIt’s here, so why not? It’s potentially useful in my current AO. I’ll drag it with me on the way out.THE PLANThis is not a SHTF shopping list. This was a hyperactive kid on an Easter egg hunt glomming whatever looked pertinent for (1) being not-eaten, and (2) a month-long overland expedition in a developing country. It’s also an example, for better and worse, of how much stuff you can grab in 10 minutes when your eyes lead your brain (and not the other way around) and you limit yourself to 15 or so seconds for the non-priority sections.[4]When traveling in the middle of nowhere, you’ll definitely need food and water (especially where chemically contaminated sources can't be treated just with boiling). You need tools to do basic repairs and the ability to get your vehicle out of most sticky situations. That means the ability to carry extra fuel, a quality air compressor, a puncture repair kit, at least one full-sized spare, a quality jack, a shovel, comms, analog and digital navigation tools, auxiliary power sources for your gadgets, and vehicle recovery gear. You'll also want spare oil and drivetrain fluids, fan belts, filters, bulbs, fuses and a sensible tool kit.It also safer and more enjoyable to drive a vehicle that is free of rattling, shifting, or bouncing gear. Everything has to be lashed, locked, and/or bolted down once you leave pavement least it move around dangerously. You also have to balance the impact of all the extra weight on performance (say, while driving down a hill) with both the flexibility for carrying extra passengers/supplies and overall organization.[5]Depending on your location, hygiene may be particularly pressing. Any disruption in the natural barriers of the body left untreated can become infected by tiny amounts of water, dirt, or even germs and particulates already on the skin.[6] Given how quickly many areas can, in the absence of human intervention, become rat-infested, disease-ridden literal cesspools of waste-water, some level of hazmat protection (i.e., rubber boots, gloves, and clothing) and disinfecting supplies may also be necessary. Similarly, depending on the environment, plastic bags, sheeting, and the like may be essential to keep dirt, dust, sand, smoke, and/or rain from choking and corroding you gear, food, and vehicle.Also, depending on the political or social climate, you might upgrade your vehicle's security. Very dark-tinted windows or screens will prevent anyone from seeing what, or who, is inside. Security cages on the windows and deadbolts on the doors may also be considered. (The drawback to all three: increased conspicuity.) Locks on fuel caps, water, and car batteries may also be handy. Finally, in the absence of a kill-switch, removing something like the fuel pump relay (or replacing it with an inert duplicate), or putting some sort of lock on the steering wheel, may be advisable.[7]Of course, there are other concerns apart from traveling. Always plan your exfil and for Murphy's law first. If, for example, you are traveling and your destination is compromised, the weather takes a turn for the worse — dust storms, fires, blizzards, etc. — or your vehicle breaks down, you'll need tools and materials to turn a place like this into shelter, find a way to breach Walls, or be able to transport/drag your assets to safety.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________[1] I so want this to be a real game show now.[2] ‘Useful’ meaning Analgesics — NSAIDs, corticosteroid anti-inflammatories, and opioids — Psychotherapeutics (e.g., amphetamines, Ambien, and Modafinal), Anti-Infectives, Respiratory Aids (e.g., Albuterol and Epinephrine), and Gastrointestinal Aids. (Pro-Tip: Veterinarians and ambulances aren’t the only “alternate” sources of meds, as most professional and major-collegiate sports teams will store medications on-site.)[3] I'm also awaiting the day the first screen writer realizes there are low-profile literal (anti-)bite suits among the myriad protective garments ( see Miguel Caballero’s Online Store, for example) that exist.[4] And I do mean grabbing, if not shoveling things. Why those exact backpacks? Because they were in a pile. The various optics and firearms? That's what was in the display case. The casting net, helmet, and dog hammock? Because they were on top of other things. Lots of stuff was just … there. Of course, change the store, season, time of day, or even the entrance, and the result no doubt would be somewhat different. (The optimal approach, incidentally, would have been to enter exit through the tire and lube shop, thus nabbing one or two full-size spares and whatever is in the shop on the way out.)[5] When it comes to inventory, it's ideal that all that food, gear, materials, etc. should by stored in way that allows you to, at a glance, visually identify everything and see what's missing (kinda like having an outline of a tool on pegboard). You'll never leave something behind, and restocking becomes almost subconscious. The more you can customize your storage and use available space, the easier that becomes.[6] Similarly, is having a shirt with a high-collar really a big deal? Well — if after a week of rucking in a t-shirt the chafing on your neck from a camelbak or a sling gets infected — yes.[7] In less permissive environments, you also want to tape or use dirt to dun up any shiny or reflective surfaces and other notable features. In some cases, you might want to completely tape over unnecessary light units — dome lights, brake lights, the radio, etc. — if not remove the fuses altogether, to ensure nothing can be accidentally operated. Tinting or diffusing headlights is another possibility, as would be covering those lights and relying on night vision should you have it.