Rockford Ill Gardening For Food And Fun: Fill & Download for Free

10 Ways To Promote Healthy Eating you can encourage someone I care about to eat healthier.A national accentuation on adolescence stoutness has provoked many parent gatherings to search out approaches to advance good dieting. From work of-affection interests, for example, a school garden to the unpretentious consideration of solid choices at school occasions, guardians are settling on keen sustenance decisions fun and instructive."Guardians are a basic and willing power to enhancing youngsters' wellbeing," as per a report from Action for Healthy Kids, a national philanthropic association that advances better nourishment and more physical movement in schools. While educators can show kids about sustenance and nourishment, guardians can put what kids realize in the classroom vigorously at home and at school.Here are a few plans to kick off your parent association's adhering to a good diet program:Plant a vegetable garden. It appears glaringly evident, yet a few guardians expect it will be excessively work concentrated. Truly, a garden requires arranging, support, and close correspondence with the school organization and custodial staff. In any case, it pays off in the assortment of learning exercises it makes, says Michele Israel, who drove a cultivating activity at P.S. 107 John W. Kimball Learning Center in Brooklyn, N.Y., in 2008-09. Despite the fact that the school has no green space, understudies delighted in crisp kale, treasure potatoes, peas, and different vegetables developed in raised beds. "It's not only a garden," Israel says. "It's an entire report in the source of sustenance."Take a field outing to a ranch or an agriculturist's market. Numerous agriculturists are excited to impart their energy and job to understudies. A rancher's market can be a learning enterprise and a scrounger chase.Hold a nourishment pyramid potluck. Host a family lunch meeting or supper with all the nutrition classes spoke to. Ask each review or class to bring something speaking to an alternate segment of the nourishment pyramid. Test understudies and their folks to think of imaginative, bright, and sound offerings utilizing as a part of season sustenances when conceivable.Transform solid snacks into a learning knowledge. At Maria Montessori Magnet School in Rockford, Ill., parent amass individuals helped the school secure an allow for crisp, healthy tidbits. Instructors purchase in-season foods grown from the ground. Children help set up the nourishments in the classroom and afterward get the opportunity to test them. Guardians assist in the classroom.Commend fall with a collect celebration. A school celebration doesn't need to spin around garbage sustenance and a mile-long treat table. Move the subject to a festival of privately reaped create and exhibit how top notch and adaptable things like apples and pumpkins can be.Support an instructive manikin appear. Scour nearby assets for age-suitable programming with a wholesome topic. At Avery Elementary in Canton, Ga., understudies delighted in a manikin indicate called "Give Peas a Chance." Each tyke additionally got a formula book. "It was an adorable, exciting learning knowledge," says PTA president Pamela Pfitzner. "My children returned home and were extremely amped up for it."Urge children to keep sustenance logs. Some parent bunches buy sustenance and exercise diaries for understudies. Consider offering diaries to other relatives, influencing the nourishment to log idea an entire family movement. The way toward figuring calories consumed and calories devoured can serve as a math lesson.Host a nourishment night for guardians, with exercises for kids. Eating admirably enables youngsters to improve the situation in school. Hold an instructive class for guardians on how nourishment decisions influence learning. Plan recreations and artworks for kids that instruct about sound sustenance decisions. Round out the occasion with a solid dinner.Begin an after-school cooking club. Enroll a neighborhood gourmet expert, culinary understudy, or parent to show understudies fundamental cooking aptitudes. Youngsters will probably eat solid sustenances if the introduction is inviting and in the event that they play a part in planning.Offer solid options at occasions. Children cherish pizza night, yet urge them to attempt pizza with vegetable fixings and an entire wheat hull. Take a stab at giving children a chance to top their own pizza. At Clairemont Elementary in Decatur, Ga., a natively constructed cloister lentil soup is served at the PTA's mark occasion, a communitywide craftsman commercial center. The veggie lover soup is served nearby bacon corn chowder and an economically arranged chicken noodle soup, filling in as a solid alternative accessible for everybody.Your adhering to a good diet program doesn't need to be confounded or costly. Nor does your message need to be that it's never OK to appreciate a treat. By settling on solid nourishment decisions a piece of your programming, you'll enable understudies to make eating great a propensity that comes as normally as brushing their teeth.

For the sake of brevity, only select genres and sub-genres have been chosen. Many have been ignored. But my apologies. It’s still rather long. I just couldn’t help myself.So, that being said…Alphabetically by genre:BLUESBlues Rock: This guy is popular. He’s sad, but frenetic at times. He draws you in with his endearing, maudlin despondence only to shock you with a pop of energy that’ll get you shakin’ in your boots. Rub him the wrong way and he’ll stab you.Chicago Blues: He’s a bit wild. Bluesy and depressed, but if he feels like it, he’ll stab you. He’s lived a tough life on the streets but still has the energy and positivity to keep going. He drinks red bull and coffee, with a touch of whiskey-sour and Hennessy mixed in. See? I told you he was wild.Delta Blues; He’s a bit more laid back than Chicago Blues. He doesn’t really care what’s going on in the world outside of his immediate view. Oh he’ll stab you, but only if you’re within 8 inches of him and he doesn’t have to put down his Les Paul or get out of his rocking chair.Detroit Blues: This guy’s a bit wilder than Chicago Blues. He won’t only stab you. He’ll stab you and shoot you at the same time; all without putting out his cigar. He’s broken-hearted but he expresses it with a bit more angst and violent tendencies.East Coast Blues: This chick is smooth. She’s energetic, but balanced. She’ll split the crack on a nutshank and then field-holler at the axe-gang in the local barrelhouse, jive a jug band juke joint and then crapshoot a dill pickle; if anyone knew what that meant. I sure don’t. And she might stab you.Gospel: This chick is mild-mannered, sweet, kind, giving, compassionate and completely reverent. She volunteers all her time to help the needy. She lives in poverty but is grateful for life itself. If you cross her, she won’t stab you. She’ll turn the other cheek. Then Outlaw Country will stab you.Jump Blues: This guy is a rebel. He takes what once was and turns it into what will be. He shakes things up, turns them on their heads and gets you thinking differently about the world. He’s a super nice guy, but when he’s hittin’ the smack he might stab you. Oh yeah, he likes to hit the smack.Kansas City Blues: This guy likes to party. Or rather he “lives” to party. But unlike Jump Blues, he also parties to live - literally. He needs multiple opioids and illicit narcotics to stay awake, alert, and alive without going into hypertensive withdrawal shock. If you have drugs and he needs drugs; he’ll stab you.New Orleans Blues: This guy is music incarnate. He walks to the tempo of his favorite songs. He breathes to the tempo of your favorite songs. He speaks only in song lyrics and the tone of his voice is angelic and soothing. He hangs out at Louis Armstrong Park only to share his love of music with others; though if you bump into him while he’s in a music-trance, he might stab you.Soul Blues: This lady is classy through-and-through. She has a charisma that’ll have you melting in the palm of her hand within minutes. She’s smooth, articulate, debonair and brilliant. She dresses better than everyone else and only eats rice and crab cakes. But if you mention her ex, she’ll stab you.St. Louis Blues: This guy is street-smart, but life-dumb. He knows how things work, but can’t seem to get by with more than nothing to show for it for longer than a day or two. He’s constantly throwing away any money he scrapes together. He rarely showers but intensely enjoys watching Bones reruns through the window of the TV store on the corner of N. 11th Street and Cole. If he could afford a knife, he’d stab you.Swamp Blues: This guy wrestles gators. To the death. Seriously. He loves it. And he’s surprisingly good at it. He harbors no ill will toward them. He just rationalizes killing them before they kill him. He built his own shanty-shack down on the bayou and lives off of gator meat and donkey milk. He doesn’t have a cell phone and would give you the shirt off his back; if he had a shirt on his back. But if you steal from him, he’ll stab you.Texas Blues: Fast talkin’, slick-dealin’, boot-poundin’, buckle-shinin’, cowboy. He has a natural swagger even when he’s standing still. He drives a white, pearlized Cadillac Eldorado with steer horns on the front (obviously) and only eats 96 ounce T-bones with steak fries so big that each fry is an actual full, complete potato. He’s best friends with everyone but if you cross him, he’ll stab you.West-Coast Blues: This guy’s more of a loner. He’s shaken off the city-life for a more pensive, brooding solitary existence. He’s still morose and sad, but he loves sharing stories of “the old days” and letting you know “where he’s been” and “what he’s done”. Many of his stories involve stabbings.Zydeco: This guy is the wild card. You literally never know what he’s going to do. He might paint your fence or steal your baby. Who knows? Some people love him. Some find him annoying as hell. He once drew a line all the way from Connecticut to Oregon with a highlighter. He wears fish. Given the right scenario he’ll stab someone; possibly even himself.COUNTRYBluegrass: This guy is as friendly as they come. No hard feelings or chips on his shoulder. He just lays back and lets the trouble roll off him. He chews on a straw-stalk and wears overalls with no shirt (obviously). His face is entirely expressionless and he’s rarely seen not on the porch.Country Pop: This guy is a diva. He wears stainless steel cowboy boots, leather pants (with chaps), leather shirts (with chaps), and a fifty-gallon leather hat (with chaps). His belt buckle is shinier than his boots and his fur coat is more real than his stories. He’s chauffeured around in a limousine and only stops at Popeye’s drive-thrus. Yeah, he’s kind of a dick.Country Rock: This guy is almost as much of a diva as Country Pop, but he’s a bit more grounded and likeable. He wears fewer chaps and more denim. He makes his own fried chicken but uses a stolen recipe. He’s relatively hairless and enjoys hitting golf balls off the roof of the parking deck near his house. He’s kind of a dick too.Cowpunk: This guy………..well………shit I don’t know.Honky-Tonk: This guy is scrawny but scrappy. Don’t underestimate him. His slight frame and kind demeanor often mask his intense inner-longing and pain. If he wants something, he’ll get it; but only after many years of pining for it and staring distantly toward the horizon. He’s frequently drunk and speaks sort of off-key. No idea why.Jug Band: This guy is kind, but somewhat dumb. He’s a sweetheart, don’t get me wrong; but his heart is much bigger than his brain. He once gave his sister a peanut. He only speaks dandelion and his stare can literally kill a pigeon. He can’t count much higher than 1.Mountain: This guy is a high plains drifter. He’s independent but loves to party if the mood strikes him. He loves recounting the righteousness of a simple life around a campfire. His Chevy Silverado has 3,845,000 miles on it. He knows the medicinal value of every plant and herb. He once lived an entire year in a hollow tree eating only sap and bark.Neotraditional Country: This chick loves the old days. She wishes she’d been born 50 years earlier. She’s an old soul in a young and beautiful body. Her smile will stop a train and her eyes can light up a stadium. She looks as good in an evening gown as she does in jeans and a tank top; but she always wears Skechers.Outlaw Country: This guy is swarthy to say the least. Don’t trust him. He’s bearded and braided and tattooed. He only drinks Jack Daniels and leaded gasoline. Don’t trust him. He’ll steal your something or kill your somebody. He’s been in and out of prison his entire life. I mean literally since birth. He was born in a prison. Don’t trust him. His only morals are those that serve his immediate purpose. He protects Gospel and Traditional Country with his life. He hates Country Pop and Country Rock and would love to see them shot in the street. In fact, he might shoot them in the street.Traditional Country: This woman is all class and sadness. She’s as hopeful as she is forlorn. She’s often seen wandering the streets of Laredo alone at midnight in an old, tattered wedding dress. She’s lived a tough life and has the scars to prove it. She once hooked up with Outlaw Country and now they’re somewhat inseparable. She’s the one Neotraditional Country looks up to and aspires to be. She’s seen every episode of The Rockford Files and knows them by heart.Western: This guy is all about being alone. Much like Mountain, he’s happy to share stories and chat around the campfire, but come daybreak….he’s gone. He’s sometimes seen walking alongside Honky-Tonk. They might be seen sitting at a bar together but you’ll never see their faces; only their shadowy silhouettes. Then when you come back from the bathroom…they’re gone.ELECTRONICAAcid Breaks: This girl is so damn weird. She’s always either doing some new drug that’s not even been named yet, or she’s reciting some ancient Sumerian play that no one’s ever heard before. Her shoes never match and her pants have more holes than fabric. She doesn’t have a cell phone either.Aggrotech: This guy likes to break stuff. But in a very limited way. He always uses the exact same technique. Scream, head back, fist punch. That’s it. Then a lot of stuff breaks. His screams are kinda scary but his hair betrays a certain image-consciousness that he’d rather you not be aware of. Grrrrrrrr….Ambient: This girl is an introvert. She’s sexy as hell, but you’d never know it under her thick hoodie and sweat pants. She wears thick dark eyeliner and black lipstick. She has no piercings (that you can see…) and her favorite food is Weetabix. She once sold a box of hair to Jug Band.Coldwave: This chick is introverted like Ambient, but in a meaner way. She’s a bit more deviant. She’s a voyeur, but only when no one can see her. She’d just as soon spit in your face as look at you, but you’re somehow drawn to her toxic sexuality. She’ll lure you in with her droning voice then punch you right in the balls.Dubstep: This guy is missing lots of teeth. He pulled them himself. He’s constantly putting pencils up his nose and kicking concrete with his bare feet. His eyes are always red from the pepper spray he uses as eyedrops. He drinks goat’s milk and ground-up carriage bolts. His lip is pierced approximately forty-three and a half times. He loves staring at people until they either run screaming or wet themselves.House: The offspring of Disco; this girl loves to dance. She lives for playing Jenga and always brings an extra pair of flip-flops. You know. Just in case. Her conversations are pretty repetitive and boring but if you feel like just letting loose and not having to think, she’s fun to hang out with.Techno: A bit more intense than House, this guy LOVES to dance. He’s somewhat sexy and appealing to look at. Though he rarely changes his style or choreography, he’s always moving; even when sitting still or driving. Just picture Will Ferrell from A Night at the Roxbury. Yeah. He’s that guy.Trance: This guy is mysterious. You can’t quite figure out his ethnicity or his gender or his sexual orientation or his age or his height or his weight. He wears shadows as clothing. Like that spot in the corner of your eye, he moves whenever you try to focus on him. It’s dizzying to the point of losing one’s orientation and/or balance. Don’t let him drive. Let Techno drive.Trip Hop: This girl is the bomb. She parties hard and always catches you off guard. She’ll invite you out to a rave then when you show up it’ll be her uncle’s funeral and she’ll be like, “Gotcha!!” Expect the unexpected with her. Though mostly harmless, she lives for “changing it up” while simultaneously “keeping it real”.FOLKAmerican Roots: This guy is a Civil War reenactor. He plays the mandolin and makes his own shoes. He wears a Tricorne hat and goes to church on Saturdays. He’s Amish, Puritan, Catholic, Protestant, Baptist and Methodist. He makes one HELL of a mustard potato salad.Folk Pop: This guy wants to be American Roots, but doesn’t have the balls or the integrity to really do it. He desires popularity too much. He’s cool and likable. He’s fun to be around in groups, but if you get him one-on-one he’ll depress the shit out of you. Beware.Folk Rock: This guy is a bit more energetic than American Roots or Folk Pop. He still desires the popularity and is relatively image conscious, but at times he’ll let loose a little more and be himself; which includes eating corn on the cob with scissors. He’s political, but only within the popular group of outcasts. He conforms to the non-conformist movement.Jam: This guy is always drunk and/or high. He’s usually looking up at something. He begins every conversation as if you’ve already been talking to him for an hour. He loves to throw things up in the air and watch them fall. He’s never used a chair in his life. Once you get him chatting, be ready for a conversation marathon.JAZZAcid Jazz: This guy hangs out with Acid Breaks. They share drug and casserole recipes. And also acid. He wears a scarf indoors and has those flip-up sunglasses. Just when you think he’s making sense, he’ll step on your toe or fall asleep or something. His favorite movie is Zardoz.Bebop: This guy’s the real deal. He’s integrity to the max. He keeps every promise and is always there to help you move. He brings his own beer to the beach and lets you break when you play pool. He has nothing to prove. He’s confident almost to the point of arrogance, but he stops JUST shy of it so that he remains ultra-likable.Big Band: This guy has something to prove. He’s always in your face yelling and drawing attention to himself. He likes things loud and busy and fast-paced. He wears a cape and rides a surfboard that he’s converted into a skateboard. LOOK AT HIM!!!!!Jazz Funk: This guy is fun. His jokes are the best and you’ve honestly never heard them before. He always knows “a guy” for whatever problem or need you happen to have. Like Bebop, he’s always there to help you move. He’s the one throwing stuff into the truck while Bebop does the arranging and stacking.Jazz Metal: This guy overlaps friend-groups. He’s friends with Jazz Funk and Bebop, but he’s also friends with Mathcore, Progressive Metal and Progressive Rock. He won’t be pigeonholed or typecast. He’s weird, don’t get me wrong, but he just doesn’t “fit in” to any singular group.Latin Jazz: This girl is complex. Her moralities and political ideologies aren’t quite aligned with any popular ones, but they all make complete sense. She’s smart and good at everything she tries to do. She’s athletic but also enjoys a good night of crashing on the couch and watching Orange Is The New Black.Lounge Jazz: Sometimes nicknamed “Lounge Pop”, this guy is one of the lucky ones who happens to be a little cooler than his contemporaries. He sets trends and styles by simply doing stuff that others don’t do. He invented the ascot, tomato soup and vaping.Ragtime: This guy is frenetic, but carries himself well. He bounces from job to job but somehow never burns bridges. He has friends all over town and has influenced many people who don’t even know him. He’s successfully mediated disagreements between Acid Jazz and Romantic Classical.Smooth Jazz: This guy is a tool. I mean….. he thinks he’s so cool but he’s actually pretty lame. He sits in yoga class all day and then goes home and listens to his cassette tape of ocean sounds while playing in his sand garden. He collects gemstones and crystals. Yes, he makes jewelry out of them and insists they have mystical powers. He believes in dragons but only the nice ones.Traditional Jazz: This guy is more akin to Acid Jazz than to Big Band. He has nothing to prove and just loves life and lives it to the fullest. He knows what he wants, which is usually Animal Fries from In and Out Burger.Vocal Jazz: This woman is a true diva; but in the good way. She deserves the praise and attention that’s lathered on her by others. She only wears Bvlgari and Yves Saint Laurent – and she deserves it. She’s helped mold the lives of too many to count. There should be a statue of her somewhere. There probably is.METALAvant-Garde Metal: Weird guy this one. He whines a lot and wants you to pay attention to him. He thinks he’s really creative; and he is creative, just not really. He’s more creative than the average slob but less creative than actual creative people. He drinks purple drink and hates Craisins.Black Metal: This guy is dark and brooding. He’s not so much concerned with what you think about him as he is with how much he hates everything. He wears all black. Even his underwear. He drives a motorcycle that’s always on fire. He only listens to white noise.Classic Metal: This fella is an old soul who’s fed up with the frivolity of today’s youth. He wants things complex, but not frilly. He takes himself somewhat seriously and has influenced many of the younger “kids” that he ostensibly despises. He installs air conditioners for a living. He drives a Ford King Ranch pickup. He shops exclusively at Ace Hardware.Death Metal: This dude is pretty hardcore; though not as hardcore as Hardcore. He melts bumpers every morning and bathes in yak urine. He speaks eighteen languages but talks in such a low register that it’s only perceptible to carrion beetles and blow-fly larvae. His boots are always covered in mud for some reason. His trench coat just barely scrapes the ground as he walks and it leaves a trail of blood in its wake… for some reason.Doom Metal: This guy shows up before Death Metal and warns you that he’s coming. He’s the harbinger of impending gloom and despair. He plays the bagpipes (rather well) and speaks only in Gaelic. He eats 0.5 meals a day and spends approximately 7.54 hours in his basement staring at rotting floorboards and mildew. He’s an interior designer.Emo Metal: This guy is usually a whiny jerk. His angst can be appealing at times but he mostly just complains about his mommy even though he’s 28 years old. He’s allergic to belts and still believes in Santa. He has a collection of participation trophies and a t-shirt that says, “Look at me DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!”Folk Metal: This guy’s fun. He dresses like a pirate most of the time. Yeah, the Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp type - not the realistic, scurvy-ridden, mud-matted, halitosis-bearing type. He enjoys midnight walks on the beach, is a Sagittarius and can’t stand people who don’t pull all the way up at drive-thrus. He never uses his turning signal.Funk Metal: This guy’s fun too. But a little more unpredictable than Folk Metal. He might bring a lion to work one day and then take eight weeks off to get an ultra-pedicure. He’s a copier repairman by trade and is on a bowling league that took second in the county finals last month. He gets laid a lot.Garage Punk: This kid is angry. I say “kid” because he’s of a teenage mentality even though he’s 37. He’s predictably angry and sloppy with his appearance and presentation. He always forgets to take the trash out on trash day and never rakes his lawn. He spits on babies.Goth Metal: She’s super-hot, but super-scary too. Her eye makeup literally blinds the weak-minded. She’s about 5’-2” but her personality feels 7’-3.5”. Her voice can be heard for about a mile. She always has resting bitch face but she smells amazing. She never goes to the beach. She never eats out. She’s seen every episode of Saved By The Bell and knows them all by heart.Glam Metal: This guy/girl LOVES to be looked at. He/she is rather androgynous and loves walking the gender line. His/her hair is beautiful and healthy looking. His/her makeup is on fleek. He/she has dated Goth Metal, Glam Punk, Big Band and Vocal Jazz. Vocal Jazz still borrows his/her shoes from time to time.Hardcore: Angry dude. Kinda dumb too. And angry. And ugly. And angry.Industrial Metal: This guy does everything. He fixes cars. He heals animals. He grows vegetables. He uses solar power. He only eats his own hair and sleeps 15 minutes a day. He’s an ace in biology, tennis, astrophysics, Uno, Angry Birds 2 and retroviral engineering. He’s rather antisocial since he’s so focused on everything else.Mathcore: This guy’s really smart, but not very cool. He’s rather emotionless and more robotic in his mannerisms. He’s a Structural Engineer and a member of MENSA. He’s still single at 56 and doesn’t have very many friends due to his inability to socially connect with other humans. Dude collects coins.Nu Metal: This kid emulates Thrash Metal and Classic Metal but he’s a bit more polished and clean. His jeans are intentionally ripped and his hair is intentionally messed up. He drives a Prius and only drinks Crystal Pepsi. He prefers Rob Zombie’s Halloween to the original.Progressive Metal: This guy’s a genius. An Architect by trade, he’s the most attractive, the smartest, the coolest, the most liked, the most loved, the most talented, the most athletic, the most brilliantly amazing human ever conceived. Everyone wants to be him. The only reason anyone wouldn’t like him is due to envy or jealousy. He’s the most-best-ultimate person that could ever be. Ever.…Ever.Neoclassical Metal: This guy’s pretty full of himself. He loves to be watched and revels in attention. He hangs out with Big Band and Avant-Garde Metal. He’s been seen with Emo Metal but only backstage or in a dimly lit nightclub. He puts himself on a pedestal and thinks others are beneath him. He only respects Progressive Metal because he doesn’t want to look like a jerk to anyone else. Plus he’s jealous of how awesome Progressive Metal is.Proto-Punk: This guy’s dirty.Post-Metal: This woman is striking at first, but then once you get to know her she’s kind of boring. She draws you in with what appears to be something new and different, but then disappoints you by expressing the same ideas that everyone else does (except Progressive Metal ‘cause he’s awesome.) She wears expensive clothes but doesn’t bathe much.Sludge Metal: This guy’s dirty too. He hangs out with Proto-Punk and gets into trouble a lot. He doesn’t brush his teeth.Speed Metal: She talks super-fast and doesn’t give you a chance to interject a single syllable. She’ll change subjects twelve times in one sentence and skip from the beginning of a story to the very end without explaining the middle. Most people have trouble keeping up with her (except Progressive Metal ‘cause he’s awesome.) She only eats pasta but can render fat from a ham bone better than most grandmoms.Symphonic Metal: This woman is captivating to say the least. She’s full and complex (both physically and mentally). She can talk to anyone about most things and can hold her own in an angst contest with Hardcore. She dated Progressive Metal once. She still talks about it. ‘Cause he’s awesome.Technical Death Metal: Mathcore’s twin brother. This guy is a little angrier than Mathcore but just as robotic and efficient in everyday life. He’s also in MENSA and collects coins. He sometimes thinks he’s as cool as Progressive Metal but everyone knows that’s simply not true.Thrash Metal: This guy’s jeans are ripped by wear; not be design. He sublimates his angst into creative outlets that happen to make him pretty popular. He’s kinda dirty and trashy, but that’s part of his natural appeal. He’s not as grimy as Sludge Metal or Proto-Punk, so you won’t mind standing within 5 feet of him.ORCHESTRALBroadway: This guy is flamboyant and an emotional extrovert. He’s not afraid to be himself everywhere he goes; regardless of whatever backlash he might receive. He wears enormous feathered hats and carries a mini-poodle under each arm. His Twitter handle is “Oklahoma!TheKingAndIAChorusLineTheMusicManRentTheLionKingPhantomOfTheOperaWestSideStoryHairSweetCharityMissSaigonAnnieGetYourGunAnythingGoesCats” Yeah. It’s a long one.Classical: This woman is rather brooding but highly intellectual. She’s analytical in every aspect of life but is equally emotional in her reactions to and interactions with others. She’s a lawyer by trade but enjoys frequenting Renaissance Festivals in her spare time. She’s on FetLife as much as she’s on Pinterest.New Age: This guy hangs out with Smooth Jazz. ‘Nuff said.Orchestral Pop: This fella is pretty popular; or at least he WAS back in the day. He’s not really updated his Art-Deco style and thinks he’s still as much the talk of the town as he used to be. He’s blissfully ignorant of the ignorance of others.POPAdult Contemporary: She’s older and a bit out of touch with what the cool kids like these days. She’s never really partied hard but is completely happy with her tame, vanilla lifestyle. She drives a Kia and works for the IRS. She enjoys cooking and thinks Paprika is exciting!Beat Pop: This guy has been a huge influence on a lot of people. They might not admit it or even be aware of it, but his overall style has bled into the very fabric of humanity and the zeitgeist is forever shaped by his existence. Even Progressive Metal admits to being influenced by this guy (though he’s way better at everything and much MUCH cooler. ‘Cause he’s awesome.) Beat Pop lives comfortably on an island in the Bahamas and doesn’t have to answer to anyone.Bubblegum Pop: This girl is forever sixteen. She’s a bouncy, beach-blanket bimbo who’s as happy at a party as she is at another party. She wears a sixty’s era bikini all the time. She’s a model spokeswoman for Banana Boat. She’s never frowned in her life.Disco: This guy is stylish. House’s father. He’s gotta strut. His hair is perfect. His clothes are perfect. His attitude is…..rather annoying. But he likes to party. He’ll always steal the show no matter the situation. He bags groceries at Shop Rite.Doo-Wop: This guy’s a greaser. Stereotypical. He has a cigarette behind his ear and a pack rolled up in his short sleeve white t-shirt. His jeans are 4 inches too short and his shoes are almost as shiny as his hair. He’s a Jet all the way. Yes. He sometimes hangs out with Broadway.Emo Pop: This girl is somewhat confused. She’s not sure if she loves attention or hates it. She’s friends with Emo Metal and Country Pop, but can’t figure out why they like her. She loves being seen but hates being seen. Don’t look at her LOOK AT HER!!!Synthpop: This guy’s hair is outrageous. He’s pretty unskilled at everything whatsoever. He tried to build a stair once. Tried. For some reason he’s likable. Maybe it’s because he shows up to help you move; even though he just stands there and lets Bebop and Jazz Funk do all the work.R&BAlternative Hip-Hop: This girl is pretty cool. She’s slightly more creative and outgoing than Urban Contemporary, but not quite as proud of her “assets”. She keeps things “turnt up” while still maintaining an air of social consciousness.Blue-Eyed Soul: This guy is as soulful as his counterpart Traditional Soul, but gets a bad rap ‘cause he’s white. Some say he’s guilty of cultural appropriation. Some say it shouldn’t matter what race he is. He’s sort of accepted by those who are friends with Traditional Soul but he also runs in the same circles as Adult Contemporary.Funk: This guy is a comedian. He’s always “on”. He can make an insurance seminar fun. When he, Funk Metal and Jazz Funk get together they’ll have you rolling. You won’t know what to expect. He wears his clothes mostly inside out for religious reasons. He works for a moving company so it’s okay that he doesn’t show up to help you move. He needs time off.Neo-Soul: This girl is a young upstart. She thinks she can grab the attention that Traditional Soul has been grabbing for decades; and she might be right. She’s got what it takes, she just happens to be young. She married well so she’s got money to burn. She’ll make herself a star. I’m sure of it. So is she.New Jack Swing: This guy is old, but still cool. He’s seen some popularity resurrection lately. He was a big influence on Urban Contemporary and Alternative Hip-Hop. They respect him and give him the props he deserves. He helped bring them up while they were struggling to survive on the mean streets of….wherever they grew up. He’s 65 and still cool.Rap: This guy is a badass. He’s pretty full of himself though. He always has to throw his name out everywhere he goes. He talks about himself in the third person all the time. It’s pretty annoying. He can be pretty smart at times, but he’s usually pretty dull and/or emotionally confrontational.Traditional Soul: This woman is the original Diva. Well…..second only to Vocal Jazz. She worked for what she’s got and she can express herself beautifully. There’s some pain and heartbreak in her story, Some blues; but not enough to make her stab you.Urban Contemporary: This bitch is badass. Sometimes more badass than Rap. She’s not afraid to flaunt her femininity and strength simultaneously. She’s proud of her body and her mind. She’s got something to say, and she’ll say it. She lives in a townhouse off Route 9 and goes to Bingo with her aunt on Thursdays.REGGAEDancehall: A bit more minimalist than Roots, he prefers things to be prepackaged for him. He automated the rolling line at the family cigar factory. He only eats fast food and shops at Amazon. He has his groceries delivered to his house and pays someone to mow his lawn. He prefers technology to elbow grease. He owns eight Roombas.Dub: This guy is just a carbon copy of his elders. He really doesn’t think much on his own. What Roots did, he does. It’s almost like he spends his life playing “Roots says”. He’s run the family business for a while now and kept it pretty solid. He sometimes skims off the top. Shshshshsh….Ragga: This chick hangs out with Dub and Dancehall and pretty much does what they do.Roots: This guy is the grandfather of a pretty close-knit family. They all sort of envy him and try to emulate him as much as possible; even though he never cuts his toenails. He started the family cigar-rolling business and kept it going for a while before passing the torch to Dancehall. He lives on a diet of Tecate and Calamari. He never leaves the beach.Ska: This kid added a bit of flare to what his grandpa created. His clothes are a little more flashy and he’s more popular with those his age. He respects Roots, but wants to build on what he created. He marketed the family business pretty well back in the late nineties. It saw a slight surge in business but it’s somewhat stagnated over the past couple of decades. It’ll pick up and keep growing though. It has good roots.ROCKAlternative Rock: This guy thinks he’s “different”. He wants to be as cool as Classic Rock but he wants to do it HIS way. He thinks he shouldn’t be confined by the way Classic Rock did things. He can make things better. Much like Dancehall is to Roots; he wants to change the family business. But his family business is making cardboard boxes - things that pretty much pervade society and are encountered by everyone at some point in their lives.Classic Rock: He started the family cardboard box business. He’s been wrapped around people’s memories for decades. People put their hearts and souls into his boxes. Then Jazz Funk and Bebop throw them on the truck while Synthpop watches. Even Roots’ cigars are sometimes packed up in Classic Rock’s boxes. He’s pretty influential and all-encompassing.College Rock: This guy just wants to get laid. He acts all emotional and “deep” just so the girls will like him. He spouts poetry and beautiful sounding words while playing beer pong. Then the next morning it’s “see ya later” without even a fried-egg breakfast. Yeah, he wears those Hilfiger shirts with the single horizontal stripe across the chest. Jerk.Dark Wave: This guy is morbid and sad. In fact, just writing about him makes me sad. So I’ll stop.Grunge: This guy is not concerned with what people think. He doesn’t want to be in the public eye; except when he wants attention and praise for not wanting attention and praise and not being concerned with what people think or wanting to be in the public eye. He’s as depressed as Dark Wave, but in a more relatable way. He also hates Craisins.Hard Rock: This girl is pretty cool. She helped a lot of youngsters find their way. Even College Rock; (until he strayed from the one true path. Jerk.) Even Progressive Metal can thank her for a little bit of help. (Though he’s still the most awesome. ‘Cause he’s awesome.) This girl can fix cars, build houses, make clothes, raise livestock, design bridges, fly airplanes, and drink an entire bottle of maple syrup in one gulp. That’s right.Heartland Rock: This guy is proud of his country. He admits that there’s been sadness in its history, but he’s proud as hell to be here. He sometimes speaks out politically but mostly just tells stories of “the way it used to be” or “how it should be”. He drives a ’67 Ford Mustang that was union-made in Normal, Illinois. He drinks Coca-Cola Classic and hates Commies.New Wave: This guy’s hair is almost as cool as Synthpop’s. He’s a bit more emotionally invested in his everyday life though. He cleans septic systems for a living. His nights are spent trawling the internet for deviant porn. He sometimes catfishes Millennials. He’s a weirdo.Post-Grunge: This guy is a hack. Plain and simple. He tried to be as depressed and emotionally stirring as Grunge but didn’t want to fully invest in it. He ended up being as formulaic as he was the first time; whatever that means. See? Even his description is confusing and meaningless.Progressive Rock: This guy is almost as awesome as Progressive Metal. He just lacks a little “oomph”. He’s as talented and attractive and skilled at everything, but he just doesn’t do it with as much emphasis or gusto as Progressive Metal. He’s been around longer, but he’s not grown stale. Progressive Metal tips his hat to very few people. (‘Cause he’s so awesome.) Progressive Rock is one of them.Rockabilly: This guy is a joke. He tries to be like Doo-Wop but he just ends up being the laughing stock of wherever he happens to be. He tries to hang out with Big Band but just can’t keep up. He should really stop trying. His day job is at a collectible model car kiosk in the mall. He shouldn’t quit that job.Soft Rock: She hangs out with Adult Contemporary from time to time. She sometimes crosses paths with Hard Rock but they maintain a healthy distance between them for the most part. She’s cool, just not AS cool as Hard Rock. Like Progressive Rock is to Progressive Metal; such is Soft Rock to Hard Rock. Sorry for the SAT style description. Mathcore would get it.Southern Rock: This guy is pure diesel and chicken-wire. He owns one pair of jeans that he’s worn every day since 1972. He repairs the soles of his own boots. He’ll beat the shit out of anybody that pisses him off and he’ll sleep with anybody that’ll have him. He sometimes hangs out with Outlaw Country and Swamp Blues. Yes, he’ll stab you.