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What is one thing you just don't understand?

Why hundreds and thousands of young people enroll in low-ranking schools and get themselves into six-figure student loan debt, without doing the bare minimum research?Several years ago during a trip to Disneyland in Orlando, I received an email from a for-profit law school in Florida.Back then, I just obtained my LSAT score and sent out my application to selected national law schools. Ever since the score was released, dozens of for-profit and bottom-ranked law school started spamming me with their promotional emails, detailing their perks and urging me to enroll.As I was resting in the Disneyland resort, this email from the Florida for-profit law school caught my attention.The Admissions told me that had I enrolled, I would be offered full scholarship plus stipend, and on top of all, a new MacBook Air laptop!Such an offer was unheard of, so I became curious and Googled this law school.The first thing that came out of my Google search was notable alumni of this law school, and the most notable alum was a porn star.Personally, I do NOT look down upon the practitioners in the sex industry. In fact, I happened to know people who engaged in shooting porn videos in exchange for tuition. However, it was hilarious to find that the most distinguished alum of a law school was a porn star!My friends urged me to reply the email, telling them that I would be coming to visit their school and requesting reimbursement for my flight tickets to and from Florida.I genuinely wondered if anyone in the world would be foolish enough to get enticed by this email. So I looked up this school on Law School Transparency. It turned out this school had shocking stats.Bar passage rate: 42%Employment rate: 37%Current class size: 180Seriously? They successfully tricked 180 students into enrolling? What kind of people would fall into a trap like this?It turned out that not only can such an offer bait hundreds of people into enrolling, but many people out there are willing to pay the full tuition to attend.In 2017, a very interesting case went to trial — Alaburda v. Thomas Jefferson School of Law.The class action lawsuit was filed by Anna Alaburda, who graduated top of her class from Thomas Jefferson School of Law in 2008 and passed the California bar on the first attempt. In spite of everything, she was unable to find gainful legal employment. After racking up more than $150,000 in student loan debts, she sued her alma mater, alleging that the law school had committed fraud by publishing deceptive employment statistics and salary data in order to bait new students into enrolling.Anna Alaburda sought $92,192 in lost income and $32,475 in reimbursement of tuition and fees. However, the unsympathetic jury returned a verdict for Thomas Jefferson School of Law. Alaburda would not get a cent out of this lawsuit.[1]Anna Alaburda was not the only one who sued their alma mater.In 2017, Charlotte Law School was forced to close permanently after being revoked accreditation by the American Bar Association. The closing of Charlotte Law School left hundreds of current and former students in despair. There were students who were admitted and enrolled, but didn't graduate. There were students who completed the degree but couldn't pass the bar exam. There were students who managed to pass the bar exam but unable to find decent employment because they had obtained a degree from Charlotte Law School.[2]These students filed state and federal lawsuits against Charlotte Law School, alleging that the school hid its problems from students and deceived students into taking on enormous debt to attend a school which closed halfway through their program.None of the lawsuits yielded to favorable results. By the end of the day, these students didn't get their tuition refunded, they were still struggling in heavy debts, and their career prospect still remained bleak.To say that “these students deserved it” might be too harsh.However, I couldn't understand why they would be willing to take out enormous loans to get a degree from a low-ranked school in the first place.The news reports described these students as “aspiring lawyers”. But lawyers excel at due diligence and take minimal risks.If they didn't bother to type the name of the school into Google before enrolling, I had no sympathy. To say they weren't cut out for lawyers would be an understatement. After all, they all had college degree, and we are not talking about complicated due diligence here, but simply a Google search. How hard is that?If they enrolled in these schools after doing their research, I still harbored no sympathy. It was a huge risk to throw in six-figure tuition into a school where the employment rate was less than 50%. What were they expecting in the first place?Don't get me wrong. I know there are great lawyers who graduated from these law schools, and they excel at their jobs. To invest in a degree from one of these schools is a risky gamble, but there are always winners, even though very few. These people are exceptions rather than the rule.I never regret my choice to attend law school. Given another chance, I'd choose the same path. That said, had I not been offered a generous scholarship from any of the nationally top-ranked law schools, I wouldn't have invested a huge sum of money and three years of my life into an unmarketable degree.While it's true that education is a valuable experience, it is definitely a form of investment. There are a thousand better ways to spend money than handing them to a bottom law school, so it really confuses me why there are still people falling into this trap.Footnotes[1] The Anna Alaburda Aftermath: The Self-Righteous Celebration And Thomas Jefferson School Of Law’s Empty Victory[2] For-Profit Charlotte School of Law Closes

What has Biden’s government done so far, after taking office?

Presidency of Joe Biden - WikipediaDomestic policyBiden signs his first bill as president, H.R. 335.On January 22, 2021, Biden signed his first bill.[18] Biden signed H.R. 335 into law providing an exception to a restriction on appointing a Secretary of Defense who, within the past seven years, had been on active duty in the armed forces.[19] The signing of H.R. 335 made it possible for Gen. Lloyd Austin to serve as Biden's Secretary of Defense. Austin was confirmed by both the Senate and the House that same day, making Austin the first African American Defense Secretary.[20][18]COVID-19 policyMain article: COVID-19 policy of the Joe Biden administrationOn January 20, 2021, his first day as president, Biden implemented a federal mask mandate, requiring the use of masks and social distancing in all federal buildings, on federal lands, and by federal employees and contractors.[21][22][23] Biden also signed an executive order that stopped the United States' withdrawal from the WHO making Dr. Anthony Fauci the head of the delegation to the WHO.[22] On January 21, the administration released a 200-page document titled "National Strategy for the COVID-19 Response and Pandemic Preparedness."[24][25] On his second day in office, Biden invoked the Defense Production Act to speed up the vaccination process and ensure the availability of glass vials, syringes, and other vaccine supplies at the federal level.[26][27] In justifying his use of the act, Biden said, "And when I say wartime, people kind of look at me like 'wartime?' Well, as I said last night, 400,000 Americans have died. That's more than have died in all of World War II. 400,000. This is a wartime undertaking."[28] On January 21, 2021, Biden signed 10 executive orders pertaining to the COVID-19 pandemic.[29] In order to meet his vaccination goal of 100 million shots in his first 100 days in office, Biden signed an executive order increasing needed supplies.[30][31] Biden signed an order on January 21, 2021 that directed FEMA to offer full reimbursements to states for the cost of using their own National Guard personnel and emergency supplies such as Personal Protective Equipment in schools.[30][32] On January 24, 2021, Biden reinstated a travel ban imposed by previous President Trump on Brazil, United Kingdom, Ireland, South Africa and 26 other European countries.[33][34][35] The travel ban prevents non-U.S. Citizens living in the prospective countries from entering the United States.[36] Biden implemented a face mask requirement on nearly all forms of public transportation and inside of transportation hubs; previously, the CDC had recommended that such a policy be enacted but it was blocked by the Trump administration, under which the CDC issued strong, albeit non-binding recommendations for mask use in these settings.[37]Economic policySee also: Economic policy of the Joe Biden administrationOn January 22, 2021, Biden signed an executive order that removed schedule F, overturning a number of Trump's policies that limited the collective bargaining power of federal unions.[38][39][40] Biden's executive order also promotes a $15 minimum wage for federal workers and repeals three executive orders signed by Trump that made the employee discipline process stricter and restricted union representatives' access to office space. As well as promoting a $15 minimum wage, Biden's executive order increases the amount of money going to the families of children who are missing meals because of school closures due to the pandemic by 15%.[41] The repealing of Trump's three executive orders comes as the orders were used to transfer civil servants and career scientists and replace them with employees friendly to the Trump administration.[42]American Rescue PlanMain article: American Rescue PlanPresident Biden meets with Vice President Kamala Harris, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, and other officials to receive an economic briefing and discuss the American Rescue Plan, January 29, 2021On January 14, 2021, Biden revealed a $1.9 trillion COVID-19 strategy titled the American Rescue Plan.[43] The plan includes $1 trillion in direct aid, including $1,400 per-person checks for working Americans, and will provide for direct housing and nutrition assistance, expanding access to safe and reliable childcare and affordable healthcare, increasing the minimum wage, extending unemployment insurance, and giving families with kids and childless workers an emergency boost this year.[44][45] It will also expand the eligibility of these checks to adult dependents who have been left out of previous rounds of relief.[44][45][43] The plan additionally includes $440 billion in community support, providing $350 billion of community support to first responders while the rest goes to grants for small businesses and transit agencies; $400 billion for a national vaccination plan and school reopenings; and $10 billion for information technology, modernizing federal cybersecurity infrastructure.[43][45] In her first press briefing, Jen Psaki, the Biden Administration's press secretary, said that the plan was likely to change.[46]The plan says that the Defense Production Act will be used to safeguard the production of more pandemic supplies in the U.S.[44] Enacting the Defense Production Act will allow President Biden to direct the manufacturing of critical goods, ensuring the availability of glass vials, syringes, and other supplies. The plan allows partners of states to create vaccine centers in stadiums, convention centers and pharmacies.[26] In the plan, the federal government will identify communities that have been hit hardest by COVID-19, and ensure that the vaccine does not reach them at an unfair pace.[45][44][26] In addition, the plan will launch a national campaign to educate Americans about the vaccine and COVID-19, targeting misinformation related to the pandemic.[26] Vaccines will also be freely available to all citizens regardless of immigration status in the plan.[44] Also in Biden's plan, he will issue a national testing strategy that attempts to mitigate the spread of COVID-19 by increasing laboratory capacity and expanding testing. The plan will also create a new program that develops new treatments for COVID-19.[44][43][45][26]Domestic manufacturingBiden signed an executive order intended to support domestic manufacturers by increasing a federal preference for purchasing goods made wholly or partly in the United States. Using the broad term "Made in America laws", the executive order's stated goal is to strengthen "all statutes, regulations, rules, and Executive Orders relating to Federal financial assistance awards or Federal procurement, including those that refer to 'Buy America' or 'Buy American.'"[47][48]TradeThe Wall Street Journal reported that instead of negotiating access to Chinese markets for large American financial-service firms and pharmaceutical companies, the Biden administration may focus on trade policies that boost exports or domestic jobs. U.S. trade representative nominee Katherine Tai said the administration wants a "worker-centered trade policy".[49][50] U.S. secretary of commerce nominee Gina Raimondo said she planned to aggressively enforce trade rules to combat unfair practices by China.[51]Environmental policySee also: Environmental policy of the Joe Biden administrationOn January 20, 2021, Biden signed an executive order rejoining the United States to the Paris Agreement.[52][53] With the United States rejoining the agreement, countries responsible for two thirds of the global greenhouse gas emission will make pledges of becoming carbon neutral, while without United States it is only half.[54] On the same day, Biden also cancelled the construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline, an extension of the Keystone Pipeline, by signing an executive order. The pipeline was heavily criticized by environmental and Native American activists and groups.[55][56] As a result of the executive order, TC Energy was forced to eliminate over 1,000 construction jobs in both Canada and the United States.[57][58] This order also directed agencies to review and reverse more than 100 actions made by President Donald Trump on the environment.[22] On January 21, 2020, the Biden administration issued a 60-day ban on oil and gas leases and permits on federal land and waters.[59] On January 27, 2021, Biden signed a number of executive orders aimed at combating climate change.[60] In an attempt to encourage U.S. membership to the Kigali Amendment, an international agreement aimed to reduce the production of Hydrofluorocarbon's, Biden's executive order directed the State Department to submit the Kigali Amendment to the Senate.[61][62]Electoral reformSee also: Electoral and ethical policy of the Joe Biden administrationIn response to what Biden describes as the growing influence of special interests and gerrymandering in elections, he has pledged to seek electoral reforms.[63]Ethics reformThe Biden administration pledged to pass government ethics reform.[63]Immigration policySee also: Immigration policy of the Joe Biden administrationPresidential Proclamation 10141 – Ending Discriminatory Bans on Entry to the United StatesOn January 20, 2021, Biden halted the construction of the United States-Mexico barrier[22] and ended the National Emergency Concerning the Southern Border of the United States that was declared in February 2018.[23] Biden issued a proclamation that ended the Trump travel ban imposed by Donald Trump on predominantly Muslim countries in January 2017.[22][23] Biden also reaffirmed protections to DACA recipients.[64] The same day, Biden sent a memorandum to the Department of State reinstating Deferred Enforced Departure (DED) for Liberians.[65][66]On January 20, 2021, the Biden administration issued a moratorium on deporations from the Department of Homeland Security for the first 100 days of Biden's Presidency.[67] On January 22, 2021, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton sued the Biden administration for violating Biden's written pledge to cooperatively work with the State of Texas.[68] A federal judge in Texas subsequently issued a temporary restraining order barring the Biden administration from enforcing its moratorium, citing the lack of "any concrete, reasonable justification for a 100-day pause on deportations".[69]On January 21, 2021, Biden proposed a bill that, if passed, would replace the word "alien" with "noncitizen" in United States immigration law.[70][71] The following day, Biden had a call with Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador. On the call, Biden and López Obrador spoke about immigration, where Biden spoke of reducing immigration from Mexico to the United States by targeting what Biden deemed as root causes.[72] According to an Associated Press report, López Obrador noted that Biden pledged $4 billion to "help development in Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala — nations whose hardships have spawned tides of migration through Mexico toward the United States."[73]On January 23, Biden proposed an immigration bill.[74] As proposed, the bill would give a path to citizenship to 11 million immigrants living in the United States without a permanent legal status.[74] The bill would also make it easier for certain foreign workers to stay in the U.S.[75][76] Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin called the bill, "aspirational", and the bill is widely expected not to pass in both houses of congress without significant revision.[74][75][76]Infrastructure policySee also: Infrastructure policy of the Joe Biden administrationThe Biden administration aims for massive spending on the nation's infrastructure on the order of $2 trillion.[77]Social policyMain article: Social policy of the Joe Biden administrationPresident Biden signs executive orders expanding the Affordable Care Act and revoking Trump administration health policies, January 28, 2021During his early days in office, Biden focused on "advancing equity, civil rights, racial justice and equal opportunity." According to The New York Times, Biden's early actions in office focused on racial equity more than any president since Lyndon B. Johnson, who passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964.[78] On January 25, 2021, Biden signed an executive order that lifted the ban on transgender military service members.[79] This reversed a memorandum imposed by the previous President, Donald Trump.[80]The Biden administration is seeking to put Harriet Tubman on the twenty dollar bill.[81][82] This decision comes after Steven Mnuchin blocked the Obama administration's decision to put Tubman on the bill.[83] White House press secretary Jen Psaki said that it was important that United States money and notes reflect the "history and diversity" of the United States and putting Tubman on the twenty-dollar bill would reflect that.[84]On January 26, Biden directed the Department of Justice to reduce their usage of private prisons and ordered the attorney general to not renew contracts with private prisons, citing the need to "reduce profit-based incentives" for the incarceration of racial minorities.[85] GEO Group considered the policy "a solution in search of a problem." David Fathi, the director of the National Prison Project of the American Civil Liberties Union, stated that the executive order did not fully end America's usage of private prisons.[86][87]Foreign policyMain article: Foreign policy of the Joe Biden administrationSee also: Antony Blinken § Foreign policyPresident Biden speaks with NATO Secretary General Jens StoltenbergBiden has said the U.S. needs to "get tough" on China and build "a united front of U.S. allies and partners to confront China’s abusive behaviors and human rights violations."[88]Biden nominated Antony Blinken to serve as Secretary of State who took office on January 26, 2021.[89][90] During his nomination hearing, Blinken stated that previous optimistic approaches to China were flawed,[91] and that Biden's predecessor, Donald Trump, "was right in taking a tougher approach to China", but that he "disagree[s] very much with the way [Trump] went about it in a number of areas."[90] He endorsed former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo's report that China is committing a genocide against Uyghur Muslims.[90]The administration will make tackling global climate change a priority for U.S. national security and foreign policy.[92] Immediately after becoming president, Biden rejoined the Paris Climate Accord.Biden ordered a halt in the arms sales to Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates which the Trump administration had previously agreed to.[93] Two years after Jamal Khashoggi's assassination, Avril Haines, the Director of National Intelligence under Biden’s administration, announced that the intelligence report into the case against Saudi Arabia's government will be declassified. It was reported that Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman would be blamed for the murder, as was concluded by the CIA.[94]On February 1, 2021, Biden condemned the Myanmar coup d'état and called for the release of detained officials. Biden also threatened to impose sanctions on coup perpetrators, saying in a statement that the United States would initiate "an immediate review of our sanction laws and authorities, followed by appropriate action." [95][96]Nominees and appointments of the Biden cabinetFurther information: Cabinet of Joe Biden and Political appointments by Joe BidenThe Biden CabinetOfficeNameTermPresidentJoe Biden2021–presentVice PresidentKamala Harris2021–presentSecretary of StateAntony Blinken2021–presentSecretary of the TreasuryJanet Yellen2021–presentSecretary of DefenseLloyd Austin2021–presentAttorney GeneralMerrick Garland*2021–Secretary of the InteriorDeb Haaland*2021–Secretary of AgricultureTom Vilsack*2021–Secretary of CommerceGina Raimondo*2021–Secretary of LaborMarty Walsh*2021–Secretary of Health and Human ServicesXavier Becerra*2021–Secretary of Housing and Urban DevelopmentMarcia Fudge*2021–Secretary of TransportationPete Buttigieg*2021–Secretary of EnergyJennifer Granholm*2021–Secretary of EducationMiguel Cardona*2021–Secretary of Veterans AffairsDenis McDonough*2021–Secretary of Homeland SecurityAlejandro Mayorkas*2021–Administrator of the Environmental Protection AgencyMichael S. Regan*2021–Director of the Office of Management and BudgetNeera Tanden*2021–Director of National IntelligenceAvril Haines2021–presentUnited States Trade RepresentativeKatherine Tai*2021–Ambassador to the United NationsLinda Thomas-Greenfield*2021–Chair of the Council of Economic AdvisersCecilia Rouse*2021–Administrator of the Small Business AdministrationIsabel Guzman*2021–Director of the Office of Science and Technology PolicyEric Lander*2021–Chief of StaffRon Klain2021–present*Pending Senate confirmation

What is it that nobody tells you about having children?

If you don't have a good relationship with your spouse or partner, then having kids won't save your marriage. In fact, it may have the opposite effect. You might end up divorced sooner.As any single mom knows, now you have kids and your ex has all the time in the world to pick up where he left off in his single life (prior to marrying you). He can sleep in, stay up late, be as messy in his own place as he wants, date or as much or as little as he wants, sleep around every night, basically divorce never breaks even if you share joint custody. Why?Because the guy has to pay one fixed support amount and whatever you negotiate (in the guy’s mind) is the “all-inclusive, lifetime monthly amount” that he is by law only required to pay for 18 years and that's it. The laws of your state set the max pymt based on his salary and since that wasn't near enough to raise two sons, my divorce attorney encouraged me to have lunches to work out my own deal for more if he was willing to give me more. We did and he did for several years. Until the oil industry laid him off. Then he made less and naturally wanted to pay less. Then he got a Senior Consultant job paying more than $100K a year and he still pleaded poverty?Me? I got the two boys for the rest of my life. Every waking hour, every single day and every weekend. He paid support. He just started dating and suddenly it was hard squeezing in an every other weekend required visitation that my decree said he’d pick them up by 4 or 5pm Fri and keep them till 4 or 5pm Sun night and every other Wed weekday nights for a dinner pickup only. That never happened.If somebody called my BBA college educated, Sigma Chi frat ex-hubby for a weekend golf outing, a hunting trip or a boys’ reunion college football game? Well, He cancelled.If his girl whined and wanted to go out Sat night. Stuck again. He'd take them Fri and then Sat AM, he’d dump them back on me. Never mind my personal weekend plans. I was their mom first and a single woman trying to find my own grownup life again. I wanted to find some companionship, personal interests outside of work, and try to pick up the pieces too. But that didn't happen.If the Boys got sick while they were with him? Well he wouldn't know what to do and all the money for Meds and doctor visits? Oh, that's mom’s dept (not his job to pay).Know what the repetitive line was from him constantly? Take it out of the child support. That's it. If a meteor fell out of the sky and blew up our house, he would be well so sorry you and the boys are inconvenienced. You need temp shelter and food? Take it out of the child support.Anything monumental happen like flu bugs or mom gets a raging fever? Too bad. Divorced moms suck it up and have to drive with raging 104 degree flu fever to drop the kids to daycare, a sitter or school anyway. They cook when they are sick, they do laundry, they change diapers or fix lunches, whatever. Like the TV commercial that speaks the truth, Mom's don't take sick days with Kids (ever).So if you marry….wait a few years and make sure it sticks before having kids. If you find yourself divorced, get a good friend, family member or hire help if you can afford to hire help. I can't. I don't have money for things like dating or sitters. So I devote my time to the boys. Maybe in 5–7 years when I'm 65, then I can start dating again.Men like to think child support covers every school expense, every ER trauma, every project expense, car fender bender, every lost or stolen clothing, heck even braces or glasses or new retainers. They think one monthly tiny check can cover all the food your growing little monsters will ever eat (better own a farm with a healthy side of cattle for all the meat you’ll be feeding them).Yes I know I'm 50% responsible for their expenses but I currently shell out way more than that to care for these boys. I am supposed to get reimbursed 50% of all doctor copays, prescription drugs (and my oldest son does take 1 drug we are trying to ween him off of), ER visits, clinic or doctor office visits, lab tests, etc. I'm still holding my breath on every getting any of that back.When he lost his job short-term, I felt bad and picked up the family health insurance pymts too. Those were his sole expense to pay as non-custodial parent.Then I lost my own long term oil career due to global staff reorg at age 50 when the boys were 6 and 8. He found an over $100K oil consultant job.Suddenly my child support had to pay rent, food, clothing and benefits too..I had to sell my 15 year old home cause I couldn't find work and blew through the small 4 month severance and guess what—years later, I still am saddled with paying their health benefits on my fixed income at age 54.He moved an 18 years younger girl into his apt after I left him for his DWI’s and later his diagnosed bi-polar illness that he refused to keep taking Meds for. He says he never yells at his new wife or treats her badly—yeah right. I’ll bet. He was known when he was a VP in a gas company for once hurling a telephone against a wall in a conference room team meeting when he got angry at a work colleague. Did he get fired? Heck no. The boss and owner was his best buddy friend and he was a Senior Exec VP and though he would have temp anger Mgmt issues (like Charlie Sheen), he was brilliant, a smart, successful businessman and a huge, likeable extrovert that everybody wanted him to be the President of that company so the owner could just be CEO. It was a tight knit small independent natural gas company and he made millions for them so they overlooked his occasional hot temper outbursts.He married the live-in girlfriend a year ago. She's got a great job and he does too. Her parents are dead now so he’s mostly all the family here she’s got. Best deal for him ever. She is friendly, outgoing, fun to be around, great figure and doesn't want kids (his sons or her own) ever. The perfect wife. She does her thing. He does his.Me? I'm renting now forever. No money to date or even take myself out to dinner or for a drink. The boys are with me 24/7. Now the almost 15 year old watches the 12 year old but where would I go? Out alone? What guy wants to date a single 54 year old still nice looking mom but with two teens and who has to take multiple small jobs to even bring in only tiny amounts of side income to supplement support that my ex voluntarily decided to cut by $1,000 a month because his bar pals (who don't know any better) told him he was way overpaying. What do they know?They don't know our financial situation. They don't know he owes the IRS more than $20K for years after we divorced that he was self-employed but hadn't yet incorporated to form a company to pay less taxes. He got a new car. He bought his new wife a new car. They bought land to build their dream home at the beach on.Me? I will stay in our dumpy two bedroom early 1960’s apt until my rent escalates so much that my fixed income prices our family out of a home.Then I will look for govt housing to perhaps get us a rent-controlled apt while I send out hundreds more resumes that blow past recruiters hiring millenials rather than Baby Boomers who should be grandparents or retired by now. I am 54, a college educated BBA business major with an oldest son with an IQ of 140 but ADHD kid who is very engineering minded. My younger son—equally smart but more outgoing and less of an introvert than his older, more reclusive, computer-tech brother.I know I know. I should have never married a 10 year’s older guy whose parents were married more than 35 years before his mom left his dad when he was out of college and married to his first (ex) wife. I was wife 2. He's on wife 3 and says he will stay with her forever. (Unless she dumps him one day)…People think 54 year olds shouldn't have teens under age 15 or older dads that are turning 65 with 18 year younger wives. We didn't plan it that way. We went through 10 years of infertility tests to determine his low sperm. We used artificial means to get me pregnant twice. He was over the moon to be their dad. He fed them round the clock trading shifts with me when they were infants and assisted the doc to even help deliver both of them. He coached their soccer, basketball teams and watched their swim meets, Boy Scout functions and went to almost all school events when I twisted his arm as divorced parents to show up. He tried. But not taking Meds and getting DWI’s and bailing him out of jail was no fun for me.He even wouldn't sign the divorce papers till I cashed in my oil retirement money to hand over $10K to the IRS just so they’d agree to an Installment Plan to pay the other $10K he owed them.His parting gift? I got the house in the divorce and he got the IRS to put a tax lien on my house while his credit didn't take even a ding in the least. I had to get that lien removed through considerable effort prior to selling the house in Sept 2013.So be careful. I wouldn't trade my sons for all the world. When I get stir crazy, I go to the cheap $4.32 matinee movies alone. I escape to the mall just to run around alone or get my hair cut or highlighted blond just to feel like a real woman again. I rent DVD movies, make popcorn at home, curl up in bed and watch action adventures or romantic movies that let me escape to a better place.I haven't dated or had sex in over 5 years. I still want to. I still want a boyfriend, a home, a normal family life with a house for my sons and a loving friend, mentor, step/father or just some one there for them and me. I don't want to grow old alone or be an empty nester when they graduate high school but who am I kidding? Who will help them with their college housing? I can't. Maybe they’ll go into the military or a good woman will find them who has a good job and still love them while they struggle for their own jobs and better education. I hope so.For now, it's all on me. I never signed up for single parenthood but that's where I am.Oh and my ex—he just texted me. Losing his oil consulting job tomorrow and his new young wife loses her 14 year oil job Dec 2.So they are moving out of our big city more than 1.5 hours one way away from me and the boys to a small coastal town.My child support? Well she has no obligation legally to pay it even though the military is hiring her to do a civilian job for them. So our support might dry up even faster.So my options? Well if I don't get a miracle job that pays a real salary again (I used to earn $72K, drove a BMW new roadster and had healthy oil benefits and retirement pension $), then I might end up having to move in with my own elderly 90+ year old widowed mom out of state.Great! Now I get 3 children to take care of instead of 2. And I'm the baby of the family too. One older sister caring for a hubby only 5 years younger than my mom and he's dying too. It sucks to have a small family and be on your own as a single mom without tons of resources.I'm a college educated Baby Boomer living in the 4th largest city in the US and still can't find a better job to tide me over until I'm 66 or 70 and my sons are graduated. And by then, well social security will be belly up and I'll really be wishing I had a hubby about then too.Be careful 20 and 30 somethings..Life is great now. Just see how it is with kiddos to support when you are 40 and 50 with a family and your boss tells you they are laying you off and you still have kids to get through Elem school.Never in a million years did I think my life would take the 360 degree turn it did.I really and truly love my kids but it's been pretty brutal for them on this roller coaster ride through life too. I am no role model and neither is their dad. They got the short end of life’s stick.They try not to hold it against me either but some days my oldest teen sons reminds me that I'm an awful mom for not having a job to get us out of this place. I try not to take it personally. I keep going to church, praying a lot, and try to work to change our future.I am just fortunate I am a strong, tough woman. Many would crack and start doing drugs or sleeping around or totally ignore their kids cause they couldn't cope.I'm different. Life is a highway and there are good and bad turns on it but you just keep going and eventually you will get where you want to be—I hope.

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