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Why am I here? What am I meant to do? What is my purpose?These are few of the thousands of thoughts that buzz in our heads as we grow up and become more curious about what’s out there.What I learned over the last five years since realizing I have to do something about my life are these:Sitting and pondering, even deciding what we want to be doing does not help; we have to be out there and try it out for ourselves to confirm that we actually like or hate what we thought we want.It’s easy to give yourselves excuses (no money, too young/too old, no time, etc) Unless you really set your mind to it, you will almost always give up halfway. I have done so many things half-heartedly, including those that I thought I could do rather easily. BUT, those that I stuck with and excelled in were those that I didn’t think I could do and really challenged me (e.g. joining the Dragonboat team when my weight was at my peak with no experience in running and weightlifting to eventually shedding 18kg off).Everyone has their own level of tolerance and breaking limits. One may be able to tolerate a stagnant/stable/routine lifestyle (perhaps not even liking it) for years because they are resistant to change, but others may crave for autonomy/challenges/opportunities to break free whenever they can.Go with the flow. I had a difficult time understanding this as most part of my teenage and young adult life, I was over-controlling and constantly wanted certainty. Yet, the only certainty in life in uncertainties. As life progresses and unexpected stuffs happening to us (e.g. loss of loved ones without having to say our last goodbyes, handling losing when you fought so hard, heartbreaks, health concerns, etc), we begin to understand what it means to seize the day and go with the flow at the same time. There is only so much that is under our control; what we cannot control, we have to let go, but it does not mean we give up trying for what we want.Don’t complain and don’t criticize, not even silently to yourself. Complaining is addictive, but it is also boring. Over time, we get tired of repeating the same story, and even more frustrated cuz we weren’t going anywhere with complaints. Instead of complaining, or even critisizing yourself, think about how you can get out of this situation. Quora has provided so many answers to you; have you started trying /experimenting them out yet, or are you just scrolling through to find the answer you think you want?You may think, I don’t know what to do with my life, or what I should do, or where am I headed, what are my strengths, what am I good or talented at, how can I get rich, how can I contribute? The real deal is to go out and start doing it.What do you enjoy doing? What do you want to learn or be good at? What do you want to try doing or being?Write the list and tackle them one by one; don’t stay at home reading articles or scrolling feeds; actually go out and sign up for what you said interests you.You have all, if not most of the time in the world to find your answers out for yourself. The adults have lesser time or energy to experiment, perhaps because they are caught up with work, deadlines, bills, children, commitments, fear and so on, but that does not mean they are not asking the same question as you.There is no hard and fast rule to when we should know who we are or what we are meant to do, but if you don’t try, you will never find out.Other ref: ‘Discover, Debunk& Develop You in 30 Days’ e-Book + worksheets.

There’s too much to tell, so a lot of my story has been omitted. But I wish I had more details of yours because it's hard to gauge similarity otherwise.As a little girl, I was very interested in the color pink and girly things like dresses. My mother used to mock me for it, so much that I felt horrible and changed myself. I insisted to people that I wanted to be a boy, and acted as tough and boyish as I could. The interesting part is that this seems to have become part of my real personality. I feel disdain for girls who are very interested in makeup and clothing. So that's one way I believe it shaped my personality. This part, I don't really mind so much. At this time, I do think worrying about makeup is silly. I dislike pink. These interests have been replaced by cooler ones.One of my brothers had trouble with bedwetting and was prone to crying. She used to make fun of him, instead of comforting him, supporting him, and enforcing proper hygiene. His nickname was "Crybaby" in Taiwanese. She wouldn't change our clothing enough, and would spend weeks in between bathing us. I was made fun of constantly in school for smelling bad. I was also never taught to bathe myself or brush my teeth the way I’d imagine normal parents would teach it. I picked it up on my own, but pathetically late. However, I went to a first grade parent-teacher conference, and after it ended she slapped me in the face for embarrassing her and told me that the teacher had been looking at my dirty sleeves. I'd often get slaps like this for things I had no idea would be offensive to her. I think she started slapping me in the face since my infancy.I also have such trouble with my theory of mind that I never really realized most of the things she did were not okay until I was about 21. My mother used fear and lies, and psychological gaslighting. My mom and dad were always fighting, and she told me things that no parent had any business telling children; my dad was always painted in a horrible light, accused of being abusive, said to hate me for being a girl (she claimed that he had wanted a boy for his first kid). I used to believe everything my mother said, because I was always around her and my dad was always working. Other things I remember being told were that a presidential candidate would come after me and kill me if he or she ever found out I was voting for someone else in an election (my third grade class was learning about U.S. elections). My mom also made odd, frequent threats to kill me for things I had no understanding of. I remember her telling me that she'd kill me if she ever found out I had a boyfriend, when I was five. She also told me that if I ever married a black guy, she would come after me and kill me. I was still around five at the time. I believed everything she told me.I actually confronted my dad about the alleged boy preference, and he reassured me that he loved all his children equally. I told him that I didn't believe him. It's one of my biggest regrets. My dad did things like staying in my room until I fell asleep to keep the monsters away, which my mom would never have done, but at the time, they meant nothing to me because my mom would enforce the belief that he was everything bad in the world.I think what really drove my mother into desperate vindictiveness was my father's eventual suicide. I was twelve at the time. She initially said to us that it was a heart attack. She became more and more hostile toward me for the next few days. Then, she suddenly screamed at me that it was a suicide and that it was my fault. I have two younger brothers; one didn't find out it was a suicide until about eight years later, but at the same time she accused me she had also told the other one that it was my fault. I used to be very close to that brother, and things have never been the same between us. My worst memory is of him yelling at me too, telling me that the suicide was my fault. There was no more physical abuse because so many people were paying attention to my family, but the degradation and verbal abuse got much worse, though more sly. Family friends insisted that we get family therapy, but I have never been able to communicate verbally very well. The bullying gave me a lot of rage, and I acted out because I had no outlet and no way to word it coherently. I couldn't communicate with therapists. Many therapists and other people told me the suicide was not my fault, but it seemed to me like they were just paying lip service to a societal taboo against blaming children for death. I was prescribed a medication (not sure what it was), and my mom administered it to me. She would never follow the instructions for what I was supposed to get, and instead gave me too much at times, and stopped them at other times. She instructed me never to tell the doctors, and I somehow still had enough trust in her to listen. They affected me, though, and made me very sick, in addition to behaving oddly and aggressively. I would feel crippling painful pressure in my eyeballs, lactate (as a young teen!) lose my color vision for minutes at a time, black out, pass out for days, and feel lightheaded and nauseous all the time. My thyroid function all but stopped. I did report some of these symptoms, so the doctors changed my meds all the time. Nothing helped, because I still wasn’t telling them about what my mom was doing. I wasn’t able to go to school enough because I was passed out for such long periods of time, so I was charged with truancy, and later put in special education after talking to school counselors. This didn’t work out because I was STILL passed out too often and always isolating myself. A social worker would often come to visit me and take me on outings, but I didn’t interact with anyone else. This lasted for years. My mom applied for Social Security Disability insurance for me and got herself appointed as the payee. She used the money to pay the bills, and did not work. I would have periods of time when I felt better, and would try to find a job myself. It was hard because I had no social skills. She found out about this and screamed at me that I was worthless, incompetent and unemployable. She seemed terrified, though, so I wonder if she was just afraid that she would be found out for possible felony fraud. I did find a job through an arrangement she helped make; that one was okay because it was under-the-table. At this time I knew enough about what she was doing, because she told me that if I ever told anyone about it, she would go to jail. One of my brothers had also earned a full ride at MIT; she told me that if questions about her finances were raised, he would lose that. Though I know today that this was a completely empty threat, I believed this lie at the time too. I still loved him a lot, and this held more weight than the thought of my mother going to jail.My mom used my situation to milk a lot of sympathy from people around us. Many things she said about me to doctors were completely false, and she would often go into monologues about how hard it was to be a single mother and a widow. I don't doubt that, but it could be pretty theatrical sometimes.Finally, after I was a legal adult, I asked the psychiatrist I was seeing to not share my health information with my mom, as soon as I found out it was an option. I began to trust this one, and he seemed to believe in me. I could see a pattern in what was happening, and similarities between my dad and myself. I knew that I was in severe danger of making the same choice he had. The doctor told me some things that began to quiet some of my self-hatred. He told me that in a suicide situation such as my family’s a parent will often pick a child to use as a scapegoat. I was not the one bad kid; if what I was saying was true, I was targeted and treated differently. To this doctor I also seemed to have nothing but major depression; I started taking antidepressants and was able to give honest feedback about what I was taking for the first time. My thyroid function came back completely, which is considered a small medical miracle because it almost never happens to anyone… but my problems had been induced by medication abuse. The other horrible side effects disappeared too. The doctor wrote a letter of support to state that I was competent as a payee for the disability money, and I told my mom I was moving out after a very candid confrontation. She was livid, but after I demanded that she give me copies of my dad’s suicide notes (I threatened to get them directly from the police report otherwise), she did, on the condition that I leave (which she wanted, suddenly when the content of the suicide notes came into question). From those, I finally laid to rest the fear that I was responsible for my dad’s death. I went to community college, because that was my only option. I had been in special education for years because I missed so much school. I focused on finishing school, working, and getting off the SSDI and becoming self-sufficient.My first calculus class made me fall in love with math, and it unexpectedly reminded me of my dad. When I was little, he had explained the mathematical concept of infinity to me, in a lot of depth. I have heard that he loved mathematics as a student. Many of my classmates were having trouble with it, but my professor’s explanations just triggered some very deeply-buried memories, and all I felt for infinity was a strange recognition. Of course you can’t do arithmetic on it like that; it’s not a number! Yes, you can make those rectangles infinitely thinner. Of course you can’t find an interval on that line that can’t be cut even more! I started to remember my dad. I started to properly grieve for him, without anger, for the first time. I could see what a tragedy his death had been, and grieve for the life he had led with three children tying him to my mom, and how taking the high road by refusing to stoop to my mom’s level had earned my hatred because I couldn’t understand. I sometimes wonder how alone he must have felt.A philosophy class I took changed my life. It covered the basic principles of truth, validity, cogency, and strength in arguments. I learned about logical fallacies. For the first time in my life I felt I had some way of determining what was true, or what statements should be taken seriously. I finally felt safer from lies and manipulation. Philosophical logic was my gateway to mathematical logic. Proofs are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I am now a math major.I think I have become a workaholic. After being oppressed to that degree, accomplishments feel good to me like temporary self-indulgence never will. This is probably why I have never been tempted by drinking and drugs. It's hard, though, because I do have learning disabilities, and I have found that special education does not care to teach anything if there is no parent to advocate. I did not have a high-school education; just elementary-school-level independent worksheets thrown at me to fulfill minimum state requirements.I have heard that kids will take after their parents, no matter how much they hate them and reject them. It terrifies me whenever I think I might be adopting my mother's worst qualities. It makes me very introspective, and very critical of myself. I am always thinking about how I can be a better, more honorable person. I am afraid to have a boyfriend or have kids one day, and I keep pushing away boyfriend prospects because I am afraid I might have abusive tendencies. I still have resentment and rage issues and am trying to work on those first before I make any sort of serious commitment to any other person. I have noticed that I used to have an abnormal need for attention and sympathy, but I think it has corrected itself.As for my family, I don’t really want to keep in touch with any of them again. I communicate with my mom over e-mail, but only when absolutely necessary. I have panic attacks when I see e-mails from her, or think about her too much, and I make sure she cannot find out where I live. I don’t hold anything against my brothers, and I recognize that my mom is doing to any memory of me what she used to do to my dad. I don’t care. Getting away from her, and from that, was absolutely worth losing the rest of my family. The only thing I want to go back for are my dogs. My mom neglects them, doesn’t bathe them, forgets to feed them, and never changes their water. One of them used to stay with me constantly and perform all the duties of a therapy dog without any training. She is a spoiled, untrained brat, but she loved me. I think she knew on some level what I was going through—living with humans, dogs have evolved to have a lot of humanlike empathy. I plan to take my dogs in as soon as I can. But this dog is old; I am afraid that she may die before I can get completely back on my feet. I would be heartbroken if this happened, and it gives me a strong sense of urgency for making progress. Today I am planning to go to my mom's house, hoping she won't be around at the time that I pick, to make sure the dogs are okay. After I manage to keep the dogs with me, I will likely never contact my family again. I have found a few very good friends, and I love them more than I will ever be able to love even my brothers now. I judge most people (especially women) very harshly, though, especially those whom I think make excuses for themselves or spend too much time telling people (with apparent contradictions in the way they act) about what kind of a person they are. I don't ever believe what anyone tells me explicitly about themselves, and I suspend judgment until I know them well enough to see patterns of behavior, but it seems few people ever measure up to my expectations of decency. I need to work more on openmindedness, but it's hard right now because I can't shake my contempt.My conclusion is, if you have anything good left in you after dealing with a horrible parent, you might try to nurture it. Especially if you are disgusted with your parent.

I follow these 5 guidelines to make sure I practice self-love and self-care everyday. I actually created a self-care checklist worksheet that I print out every week to make sure I l dedicate time to self-love. Here’s my tips and facts about self-care, but if you’re interested in downloading my free self-care routine worksheets you can visit my post here.After a tornado of thoughts, feelings, and research, I’ve decided to start a daily self-care checklist to harness my energy into a positive direction. Over time, I’ve updated and revised my daily self-care strategies, though it wasn’t until recently that I referred to it as such. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been interested in health and fitness, and have tried many different routines in order to keep myself on a healthy path. Over the past few years, my interest in health has broadened past physical to encompass total mind, body and spiritual health. As my focus changed, my self-care activities transformed as well. I’d like to share with you my daily self-care routine, as well as some free self-care worksheets I created for you to begin a daily routine. Below is a list of the 5 self-care strategies included in the worksheets.AffirmationsPositive affirmations are short phrases used to set an intention, direction, and focus. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably noticed that I share a daily affirmation poll. I do this for a couple of reasons. The first is to hold myself accountable. Whether followers participate in the poll or not, I want people to expect an affirmation from me every(week)day. The next reason is to physically write down the positive affirmation. I do so because you’re 42% more likely to reach goals when you write them down. I encourage you to use my template, Evernote app, or a journal to increase your success. Lastly, I want to inspire others to center their day around one of the intentions. The success of your day relies heavily on your mindset of it.MovementLike I said, I’ve been interested in health and fitness since I can remember. We all know there are physical benefits to exercise, and that you should do it for at least 30 minutes a day. I experience a noticeable drop in my mood, confidence, and energy level when I don’t move my body on a daily basis. I use the word movement instead of exercise because I personally think it’s more important to do meaningful movement than to stress over whether or not you have time to go to the gym. Meaningful movement can mean going for a walk, actively cleaning your house, doing yoga, or taking the stairs at work. The idea is to be purposeful and mindful of keeping an active body, which sparks an active mind.MindfulnessI feel like mindfulness has gone mainstream, which causes some to roll their eyes when they hear the word, but it’s honestly created the most change in my life. I incorporate mindfulness daily in several ways. One is literally being mindful. Mindful of the words I say, the food I eat, alone time I have, and clothes I wear. I learn new and benefits of mindfulness and new techniques by listening to a podcast called The Mindful Kind. Another way is through meditation. I use to practice meditation every day, but now it’s once a week or so to keep my mind and spirit energized. Finally, I practice gratitude. Throughout the day, and again before bed, I acknowledge the things I’m grateful for, and why I’m grateful for them. I recently watched a Marie Forelo’s video about gratitude where she discusses the importance of writing deep notes on gratitude. Dive into what you’re thankful for, and you’ll realize the plenty of positivity you already possess.Brain PowerI purposefully learn at LEAST one new thing a day. This is easy to get lazy with, so be aware of your tendencies. It’s more than learning that Kylie named her baby Stormi and more about learning useful information that helps you grow. A simple way I do this is by signing up for e-newsletters from TheSkimm, and following many news sources on social media so my timelines are filled with useful information. That leads me into my second part of brain power. I give my brain a break from constant noise by unplugging from the internet at least once a day. I’m currently reading a book called Deep Work that discussed the value of doing uninterrupted work in order to reach your full learning potential. I turn my phone on silent, or on airplane mode and keep it out of sight while I give full attention to the task at hand. Whether you decide to do the routine or not, at least try to unplug a few times per day. I can guarantee you’ll have deeper conversations, more productive work days, and make healthier food decisions.SleepI’ll keep this simple. Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep a day. Some days that’ll include a nap, but the goal is to rack up 8 hours in total. I remember working 65 hour weeks in Los Angeles and using half of my lunch hour to work out or take a nap in my car. You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.The overall goal is to focus time each day on taking care of #1, aka, you. Whether you’re a mom, CEO, student, retiree, and/or a working woman; you need daily self-care. It’s vital in so many ways, and will likely make you a better mom, boss, studier, worker, etc. Also, I understand giving yourself a break and use the weekends as a time to just live without the list running through my head. I’ve created two free self-care worksheets for you to choose from. One template covers Monday-Friday for those like myself who need a break on the weekend. The other is a 7-day checklist; this list is good for those who are just starting self-care rituals or who tend to fall off when habits are broken. Download and print out the self-care worksheet of your liking as a daily reminder to take care of #1, and let me know how it works for you! I’d love your feedback on whether or not the templates helped.