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I had already selected the new car, which was on the lot, and made the handshake deal with the actual salesguy. I was happy! Then came the ritual of shutting you in a room with the slick asshole whose job is to sell you a bunch of other junk to tack many extra thousands onto the price. I made it clear, politely at first, that I was NOT having ANY of it.But the add-on guy persisted, each extra a bigger scam than the last. Rust-proofing for 2500 (No), smoked glass for a thousand (NO!!!) , Scotch-guard for 900 dollars (NOOO!!!!) — on and on. Really shameless, fraudulent junk that no teenage first buyer should fall for, and I was far from a newbie at this. I told him to just cut the bullshit, that I was NOT going to buy anything else but the car, and that if he wasted one more minute on this routine I was walking out, no sale. I think that was when he proposed the special rubber tire treatment, and…I was GONE.The dealership sent me a survey asking about the experience, and I told them exactly why they lost the sale. and I named names.

Surveys…People don’t like to fill them out.People don’t see what’s in it for them.People leave halfway through, not wanting to waste more time…Sigh…Getting people to fill out and complete your survey can be quite a hassle.Some surveys even have a response rate as low as 10%!Think about all the time and effort lost…What if there was a way to get all the responses you need as fast as possible?What if there were 5 ways?Not every tip might be applicable to your case, but using them liberally will improve your response rates with 30 to 55%!1. Disguise your survey as a quizThe word “survey” often has a bad connotation, especially in people’s inboxes. One effective method to get them to fill out your survey is to disguise it as a quiz. We’ve seen that “take our quiz” has double the open rate of “take our survey”.Ask five or six quiz questions and add a rating question with a text box at the end. People won’t mind, they won’t even notice it. Allow them to voice their compliments or concerns. Dissatisfied customers whose complaints are taken care of are more likely to remain loyal, and even become advocates, as those that are ‘just’ customers. Filter out people who give long positive answers and get in touch with them. They make great brand ambassadors!2. Limit the number of surveysThere’s definitely something like too many surveys.People WILL grow tired (survey fatigue exists, people!) or even frustrated if you sent them surveys on a regular basis. Our rule of thumb is the following table:Depending on the strength of your relationship with the respondent, you can have more surveys. If you stick to this, you can expect a more stable response rate each time you send out a survey.3. The ideal survey lengthHow long is too long? Generally, surveys that have more than 15 questions are considered “too long” and your completion rate will start to drop. In our experience, you can get anything you need from your respondent in maximum 10 questions if you don’t have a prior commitment. Shorten your survey as much as possible and remove all unnecessary questions. A nice workaround if you need more than 10 questions is doubling your sample size and splitting your questions over those samples. For example, if you have 20 questions, double your subset from, let’s say 200 people to 400 and ask 10 questions to each set.4. How to find your demographicSome surveys require responses of certain demographics. It’s important to identify what those demographics are and focus only on these people, so you don’t waste time and effort on respondents who don’t match. If the survey topic is important or relevant to the recipient, response rate raises between 12 and 14 percent. Make sure you segment and target your database to achieve this. Use Clearbit Sheets, prospect.io or similar tools which allow you to analyze your database and automatically determine attributes such as gender and industry.5. The respondent’s experienceMany researchers get caught in the trap of making questionnaire administration easy for the organization, but completely overlook the needs and experience of the respondent. They forget that for some people this might be their first ever contact with your brand. Seize the opportunity and leave an impression. Turn your questionnaire into an immersive experience:Questions should be framed in such a way that they attract attention from your audience. Don’t be a bore and avoid jargon.Use the Helping Norm, which motivates individuals to help others in need. Using sentences such as “it would really help us out” can result in an increase in response rate up to 18 percent.The questions should be short, concise and have a clear purposeBe positive. This does not mean: “be nice and happy all the time.” It means stay away from hidden or subtle accusations and negative statements.

Perhaps they have given up already.If someone makes an out-of-the-world pseudoscientific statement once, you can respond to it by pointing out what is wrong with it. Perhaps they might learn from the mistake, correct it and not repeat it. Perhaps they might even apologize.But what if a person or a group keeps spewing pseudoscience and questionable medical information over and over? What if they keep repeating such stuff with no shame or remorse and, instead of suffering from it, they see that their political power only rises? The people countering pseudoscience might tire well before them!Countering pseudoscience from the current ruling party of India is like trying to stop water from a firehose. Incessant and unstoppable. Count yourself lucky if you hear only one statement a week!The latest statement comes from Ashwini Choubey, the union minister of state for health.[1][1][1][1] He said thatSeveral medicines, including those used to treat cancer, are prepared using cow urine. The centre is also working on this under the Ayushman Bharat YojanaSad in itself, but the article lists similar statements from other party members beforePragya Thakur, an MP, claimed that cow urine along with Ayurvedic herbs, cured her cancer.She also claimed that rubbing a cow in a certain way can control blood pressure.Uttarakhand Chief Minister Trivendra Singh Rawat became the latest in a long list of luminaries to claim that cow is the only animal that exhales oxygenHe also claimed that being near cows can cure tuberculosisYes, there is so much pseudoscience being generated that there is enough to curate a cow-related section!And these people will keep doing it because they face zero political backlash for it. These are politicians sitting at the highest levels in the country and they remain there with no repercussions after saying such idiocy. Or, shall I say that they are staying there precisely because they say such things? The cow remains a Kamadhenu when it comes to votes. A lot of people will vote for anything cow-related, while the rest will turn a blind eye to cow-related violence, wasteful spending and pseudoscience.Before you comment with “studies” showing the efficacy of cow urine, please check the quality of the studies properly first. If you Google randomly, you might come up with articles like “Efficacy of cow urine therapy on various cancer patients in Mandasur district, India — a survey” from “International journal of green pharmacy” (OMG international!).[2][2][2][2] But before you feel too good about your find, read what is inside it. You will find glorious stuff like this:INTRODUCTIONIn cow blood, there is pran shakti (Life Force). Cow urine is cow’s blood that is filtered by kidney. Kidneys filter blood. Whatever elements are present in blood are present in cow urine also. Cow, as Kamdhenu is the provider of all happiness ‘Matrah Sarva Bhutanam, Gavah Sarv Sukh Prada’. Meaning ‘Cow being mother of all living entities gives all pleasures to everyone’.[1]Cow is a mobile dispensary. It is the treasure of medicines. The cow urine therapy is capable of curing several curable and incurable diseases. The holy texts, such as Atharva Veda, Charak Samhita, Rajni Ghuntu, Vridhabhagabhatt, Amritasagar, Bhavprakash and Sushrut Samhita, contain beautiful description about these things. Cow Urine Treatment and Research Center has conducted a lot of research in the past few years and reached at the conclusion that it is capable of curing diabetes, blood pressure, asthma, psoriasis, eczema, heart attack, blockage in arteries, fits, cancer, AIDS, piles, prostrate, arthritis, migraine, thyroid, ulcer, acidity, constipation, gynecological problems, ear and nose problems, abortion and several other diseases.Yeah, that is the introduction to a supposedly peer-reviewed article. If I had written a research article with one bullshit reference in the first two paragraphs, I would have got an editorial rejection in ten minutes. Reading this, I am surprised that they haven't found the solution to immortality in cow urine already. Who are these plant-enthusiasts writing and peer-reviewing such crap?If you throw such a reference at a serious cancer researcher, I will not be held responsible for any bodily harm that ensues to you.I am sure the minister will not care. They might actually go ahead with marketing panaceas made out of cow urine. After all, unlike those evil “allopathists” out to drink your blood, they don't need any medical trials to sell such woo. What better way to mask your inability to bring real medical aid to people than fool the poor and illiterate with quackery? After all, the rich people will find ways to go to real doctors. It's all right if a few of the poorest keep dying if the rest keep voting religiously.And if you do care, please demands accountability from your politicians. Or the very least, stop whitewashing and performing intellectual gymnastics to reinterpret their statements. They are doing real harm to India and Indians, and if you keep turning a blind eye, you share the responsibility.Further reading: Cow Excreta as Medicine: Insult to Humanity | NirmuktaPS: My answers against pseudoscience and pseudomedicine are aggregated here.Footnotes[1] After Pragya Thakur, Union Minister Ashwini Choubey Sees Cure For Cancer In Cow Urine[1] After Pragya Thakur, Union Minister Ashwini Choubey Sees Cure For Cancer In Cow Urine[1] After Pragya Thakur, Union Minister Ashwini Choubey Sees Cure For Cancer In Cow Urine[1] After Pragya Thakur, Union Minister Ashwini Choubey Sees Cure For Cancer In Cow Urine[2] Efficacy of cow urine therapy on various cancer patients in Mandsaur District, India - A survey[2] Efficacy of cow urine therapy on various cancer patients in Mandsaur District, India - A survey[2] Efficacy of cow urine therapy on various cancer patients in Mandsaur District, India - A survey[2] Efficacy of cow urine therapy on various cancer patients in Mandsaur District, India - A survey