Durango High Early College: Fill & Download for Free

A few good stories.Two men came in for an oil change. When they get out, a large-ish bag of white powder fell on the ground. As they made their way to the lobby, my manager stopped them, holding up the bag, with a minor quizzical scowl on his face.“You…need to get more organized!” He said firmly.The driver sheepishly said thanks, and took his bag of hard drugs .The other good one was the man in a late 90′s Chevy Malibu who rounded the corner to get an emissions test. A brake pad fell out of his caliper and onto the ground, so we picked it up and told him. He said “Okay”, put the pad in his pocket, and sat in the lobby.The two older women who came in for an emissions test in the Firebird where the entire, and I mean the whole interior save for the seats and steering wheel was literally covered in a glaze of old soda, with some gelatinous afterbirth matter overflowing from the cup holders.The older lady who urinated heavily on her seat right before she came in and didn't have the common courtesy to tell us.The two older women who came in for an oil change in the worst 1995 Pontiac Grand Am in the universe. Everything was broken, and the car ran, but just barely. When we attempted to refill the oil, I was covered in a shower of it, since the dipstick/fill tube combo was completely disintegrated. No oil would go in at all. I got around it by filling it up through the drain plug hole. When they left, I told them they definitely needed some new parts, but with some dedication the car was definitely salvageable. They asked me what parts they should get. “At least one of each,” I joked.The Mother-daughter team in the Durango that went 17k on the same oil. I let them know that they dodged a bullet and the engine was still doing good after the oil change. I implored them to come back on time, and sure enough, next year and 17k later…The man who went nearly 20k on the same oil in a Jeep Grand Cherokee. He knew he was over the mileage, and asked us to flush and change oil, and get an emissions test. We did that, and as the test ran on the dyno, the jeep smoked the place out. The man looked surprised. “Well,” I said, “it's probably gonna do that from now on. “The strange lady in the van. She pulled around the back (cars exited via the front doors at our shop) and so I took my little clipboard out to greet her and take her service order.She looked up at me suddenly as if I were a crazy bear running at her, and without looking, she threw it in reverse and drove full speed into the brick enclosure around our dumpster. The bricks fell and the steel door did too. She got the hell out of there. The owner was miffed but nobody ever got her plate, so nothing was done.The Meth couple. A man and woman in a dilapidated late ’80s Buick Century apparently were having some trouble with the radiator, and the woman came our way to borrow a bucket to refill the leaking cooling system- at least, that is what I eventually figured out from her.She started to ask for a bucket halfway across the parking lot in a normal voice and continued to ask for a bucket for and twirl around in circles as she talked for about two minutes straight…“…andIneedtoborrowabucketbutithastobeabucketthatisgoodforwaterIseeabucketthereIdontknowthereisssomestuffinthatbucketIwouldn’twanttogetanydirtinthewaterIdontknowI’llberightback”The man in the car then came over and asked for the bucket in a totally normal voice. I filled up a few empty antifreeze bottles with water and let him have them.He added the water, and that's when things really got moving.The woman, who was going into full tweak at that moment, gets in the drivers seat and cranks it up and pulls into our front lot and does a 34-point reversing turn. The gas pedal is being held all the way to the floor the entire time, speed only being modulated by the brakes.At first, all I can forsee perhaps is that car coming right into the shop and killing us all, and then I notice that the rear wheel of the car on one side is slamming back and forth in the wheelwell, the trailing arm having separated from the vehicle, being held up off the ground only by the parking brake cable. Yep. We are all gonna die.But somehow she got out of our front lot and waited for the light to change so she could pull out, engine still screaming and smoke pouring out of the hood, as she bounced up and down in the drivers seat, banging her head on the roof of the car repeatedly.Now some sad tales;The husband and wife that added several gallons of coolant to their oil because they didn't read the cap first before dumping it in there. That took hours to drain.And the defeated male. The very saddest one. Changed his oil on his Maxima, but actually ended up draining his transmission and double filling his oil. Of course, the trans instantly began slipping, he had to rev the piss out of it to limp back to his house. We filled the trans back up, and drained the oil back to a sensible level. When we restarted it, a plume of bluish smoked constantly wafted from deep within the valley of the motor. “Well, it's probably gonna do that from now on.” I reported with respect.His wife looked at him and made a face of discontent and rage so subtle that it would have been missed had I been paying less attention. Such a nice young couple, too. As they left I told my co-workers, “see that guy?” when they get into that car, he is going to be told he is forbidden to touch any mechanical thing for the rest of his days.”Then my Boss swallowed a handful of pills, his face turned beet red, he started jabbering some nonsensical language, and retired to the office to furiously masturbate. I yelled at him to shut the door first if he was going to do that shit on the clock. No, he was not fired, and I've a lot more crazy stories about that heavily damaged human that perhaps one day I will write down.EDIT: More stories as requestedThis damaged human, we will call him “Ron” would stop at nothing to get a sale or upsell. He would make things up, if it meant more cash in the drawer.We once replaced a serpentine belt on a car, and didn’t have the right one. So, he picked up one slightly smaller, put it in the MICROWAVE, and stretched that thing on there.While doing that, he went on and on to the female customer about some woman he met on the internet. He even asked the customer how much she weighed.For breakfast one morning, he ate a turkey sandwich and drank five 5-hour energy drinks. While talking to the assistant manager, he turned around and started throwing up in the bushes. When he was finished, he went back to the AM and tried to resume the conversation. “NO! You aren’t talking to me right now!” the AM yelled and stormed off.Ron’s stepdaughter was 15 and got knocked up by her boyfriend, a guy in his early 30’s with only one ear that worked at the Wendy’s across the street. He denied being the one who did it, so Ron said “well, if that little fucker is born missing an ear, I’ll curb stomp you!”He once tried to have his cheating wife “roughed up” by some paid thugs. But I guess he started running his mouth at them, and they beat him up instead, breaking one of his ribs.His car was a marvel of insanity. It was an old Japanese compact, where all the control levers had broken off inside, so he nailed jewelers screwdrivers into the holes. The passenger floorboard was stacked up to the seat with empty cigarette boxes. He ran 80w90 gear oil in the engine because it leaked and burned so much.Every morning, he’d pull money out the drawer and send a tech to the gas station to get a bag of ice and a case of beer. He kept an extra trash can and would fill it with ice and beer. You were encouraged to drink with him, just not to tell anybody.We had another manager in training we called “notebook” since he was always taking notes, but you never saw him do anything else. Seemed nice enough, very professional, some college. One day he was gone, and we found out he was finally arrested for molesting children.A different manager, was also fired, caught in the office with his pants around his ankles, looking at shemale pornography on the shop computer. The DM walked in on him after noticing his car there way too late.He told him “You are out of here! Take the chair and keyboard with you when you leave! DAMNIT!!”Yet another occaision, two co-workers decided to get high after work. One was a experienced drug user, the other had recently been rehabed and clean for a while. The clean one overdosed while the other guy was okay.He left him, comatose in the office, and wrote him a note that said “call me and I’ll tell you how to get out of the store.”He never did. Instead, the guy’s girlfriend came looking for him, and the fire department had to break into the shop to get him to the hospital. He survived, but the shop was now short two people, so I had to sub there.That manager then told me a very very long story of how he left his wife to be with his own grown daughter, carrying on a mock relationship with her for months until one of them came to their senses.The fast lube industry is full of some of the craziest people I have ever met. There must be something in the oil.

In October 2010, Steve Jobs sent an email to Phil Schiller with the subject line "Top 100 - A."Its contents: an itinerary for a top secret meeting – called the Top 100 – to be held early the next year, in 2011.The Top 100 is a big deal at Apple.In 2011, Fortune's Adam Lashinsky described what the Top 100 is, and how the meeting works:There is a small group at Apple that most certainly has met Steve Jobs. It's called the Top 100, and every year or so Jobs gathers these select few for an intense three-day strategy session at a proverbially secure, undisclosed location. Everything about this Top 100 meeting is shrouded in secrecy, starting with its very existence. Those tapped to attend are encouraged not to put the meeting on their calendars. Discussing their participation is a no-no, even internally. Attendees aren't allowed to drive themselves to the gathering. Instead they ride buses that depart from Apple's Cupertino, Calif., headquarters to places like the sumptuous Chaminade Resort & Spa in Santa Cruz, Calif., which satisfies two Jobs requirements: good food and no golf course. Apple goes so far as to have the meeting rooms swept for electronic bugs to stymie snooping competitors.The Top 100 meeting is an important managerial tool for Jobs. He and his chief lieutenants use it to inform a supremely influential group about where Apple is headed. The elaborately staged event also gives Jobs an opportunity to share his grand vision with Apple's next generation of leaders. The Top 100 meeting is part strategic offsite, part legacy-building exercise.Jobs generally kicks things off personally. Each session is as well crafted as the public product debuts for which the CEO is so famous. For presenters the career stakes are high, and the pressure is nerve-racking. "The Top 100 was a horrifying experience for 10 or so people," recalls one former vice president, who took the stage some years ago. "For the other 90 it's the best few days of their life." Jobs sometimes uses the occasion to unveil important initiatives. "I was at a Top 100 when Steve showed us the iPod," says Mike Janes, who worked at Apple from 1998 to 2003 and remains close to Apple executives. "Apart from a tiny group, no one knew anything about it."To be selected for the Top 100 is to be anointed by Jobs, an honor not necessarily based on rank. Jobs referred to the group, but not the conclave, in an interview several years ago with Fortune. "My job is to work with sort of the Top 100 people," he said. "That doesn't mean they're all vice presidents. Some of them are just key individual contributors. So when a good idea comes … part of my job is to move it around [and] … get ideas moving among that group of 100 people." Privately Jobs has spoken even more strongly about the Top 100's importance. "If he had to recreate the company, these are the 100 people he'd bring along" is how one former Apple executive describes Jobs' characterization.Though its name isn't to be uttered, the blessed nature of the gathering creates a caste system at Apple. Inclusion is by no means permanent. According to Jobs' whims, attendees can be bumped from one year to the next, and being kicked out of this exclusive club is humiliating. For those left behind in Cupertino, chattering begins as soon the chosen few have departed. "We'd tongue-and-cheek have a Bottom 100 lunch after we were done preparing the people who'd left," recalls one nonparticipant. Says another: "We weren't supposed to know where they were. But we all knew."The email is now public due to an on-going lawsuit between Apple and Samsung.Given how secretive these meetings were and that 2011 was Steve Jobs' last year at Apple, the email is a fascinating historical document.EMAIL:POWERED BY GENIUSFrom: Steve JobsDate: October 24, 2010 6:12:41 PM PDTTo: ETSubject: Top 100 - AHere's my current cut. Steve1. 2011 Strategy - SJ- who are we?- headcount, average age, ...- VP count, senior promotions in last year- percent new membership at this meeting- what do we do?- pie chart of units/product line and revenues/product line- same charts with tablets + phones merged together- Post PC era- Apple is the first company to get here- Post PC products now 66% of our revenues- iPad outsold Mac within 6 months- Post PC era = more mobile (smaller, thinner, lighter) + communications + apps + cloud services- 2011: Holy War with Google- all the ways we will compete with them- primary reason for this Top 100 meeting - you will hear about what we're doing in each presentation- 2011: Year of the Cloud- we invented Digital Hub concept- PC as hub for all your digital assets - contacts, calendars, bookmarks, photos, music, videos - digital hub (center of our universe) is moving from PC to cloud- PC now just another client alongside iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, ...- Apple is in danger of hanging on to old paradigm too long (innovator's dilemma)- Google and Microsoft are further along on the technology, but haven't quite figured it out yet - tie all of our products together, so we further lock customers into our ecosystem- 2015: new campus2. State of the Company - Peter & Tim- FY2010 recap- FY2011 plan- where is our business - geo analysis (NA, Euro, Japan, Asia, possibly break out china) (present on map)- key milestones, trends & future goals- comparisons with Google, Samsung, HTC, Motorola & RIM3. iPhone - Joz & Bob- 2011 Strategy:- "plus" iPhone 4 with better antenna, processor, camera & software to stay ahead of competitors until mid 2012- have LTE version in mid-2012- create low cost iPhone model based on iPod touch to replace 3GS- Business & competitive update- show Droid and RIM ads- Verizon iPhone- schedule, marketing, ...- iPhone 5 hardware- H4 performance- new antenna design, etc- new camera- schedule- CONFIDENTIAL- cost goal- show model (and/or renderings) - Jony4. iPad - Bob, Jony, Dan Riccio, Michael Tchao ,Randy Ubillos, Xander Soren, Roger Rosner - 2011 Strategy: ship iPad 2 with amazing hardware and software before our competitors even catch up with our current model- Business & competitive update - Michael- Apps, corporate adoption, ...- show Samsung, HP(?) anf iPad ads- 2011 Product Roadmap - Bob, Dan & Jony- iPad 2- new ID, H4, UMTS + Verizon in one model, cameras, ... - EVT units & cases- HDMI dongle (use for projection of demos below?)- iPad 3- display, H4T- DEMOS:- Photo Booth (Michael?)- iMovie (Randy)- GarageBand (Xander)- text book authoring system (Roger)- working display for iPad 3 (during break)----------5. iOS - Scott, Joz- Strategy: catch up to Android where we are behind (notifications, tethering, speech, ...) and leapfrog them (Siri, ...)- Timeline of iOS releases from first until Telluride, including Verizon- Jasper tent poles- Durango tent poles (without MobileMe)- Telluride tent poles (with "catch up" and "leapfrog" notations on each one)- DEMOS:- Jasper: AirPlay to AppleTV - video from iPad, photos from iPhone, ??- Durango: ?? (without MobileMe features)- Telluride: Siri, ?6. MobileMe - Cue, SJ, Roger Rosner- Strategy: catch up to Google cloud services and leapfrog them (Photo Stream, cloud storage) - Android- deeply integrates Google cloud services- way ahead of Apple in cloud services for contacts, calendars, mail- 2011- Apple's year of the cloud- tie all of our products together- make Apple ecosystem even more sticky- Free MobileMe for iPhone 4, iPad and new iPod touch- Jasper- Sign up with Apple ID, Find My iPhone- Durango- Find My Friends, Calendar, Contacts, Bookmarks, Photo Stream- April- iWork cloud storage- Telluride- cloud storage for third party apps- iOS backup- new iDisk for Mac- Growth- projected growth, cost/user- plan to scale to 100 million users- transition plan for paid members- what about email?- DEMOS:- Find My Friends- Calendar- Photo Stream- iWork cloud storage (Roger Rosner)7. Mac - David Moody, Bob, Craig Federigi, Randy Ubilos & ? - Hardware roadmap- Lion plan- Mac App Store- Final Cut Pro DEMO (Randy & ?)8. Apple TV 2 - David Moody, Jeff Robbin- Strategy: stay in the living room game and make a great "must have" accessory for iOS devices- sales so far, projections for this holiday season- add content:- NBC, CBS, Viacom, HBO, ...- TV subscription?- where do we go from here?- apps, browser, magic wand?----------9. Stores Update - Eddy, Patrice- Music- Strategy: Leap even further ahead of Google in music- Beatles- iTunes in the cloud- App Store- Strategy: Leap even further ahead of Google in discovering great new iOS apps10. iAds Update - Andy Miller11. Retail Update - Ron JohnsonSource: This Email Reveals Steve Jobs' Secret PlansLook also: The Best 10 Emails sent by Steve Jobs10) To Apple executives about preventing a rival service from being compatible with the iPod"We need to make sure that when Music Match launches their download music store they cannot use iPod. Is this going to be an issue?"9) To an eager college journalist who was dumbfounded that Apple's media relations team hadn't replied to her"Please leave us alone."8) To NewsCorp (NWS) executive James Murdoch, who oversees HarperCollins -- anAmazon (AMZN, Tech30) rival that was trying to raise the prices of ebooks"Throw in with Apple and see if we can all make a go of this to create a real mainstream e-books market at $12.99 and $14.99."Related: See Apple's new Steve Jobs in action7) To Apple's HR chief after learning that Google (GOOG) had fired a recruiter who was poaching Apple employees -- something the companies had conspired not to do" :-) "6) To Palm CEO Ed Colligan after the company refused to reverse its decision to poach an Apple employee"I'm sure you realize the asymmetry in the financial resources of our respective companies. My advice is to take a look at our patent portfolio before you make a final decision here."5) To an advertiser who told Jobs he was being a "jerk" about mobile ads"You are a super salesperson, by the way."4) A bullet in an email outlining Apple's 2011 strategy"2011: Holy War with Google"Related: Steve Jobs' last gift3) To a Mac owner whose computer got wet and was having no luck with Apple Care replacing his laptop"This is what happens when your MacBook Pro sustains water damage. They are pro machines and they don't like water. It sounds like you're just looking for someone to get mad at other than yourself."2) To the makers of the app iPodRip, which Apple threatened with a lawsuit"Change your apps name. Not that big of a deal."1) Response to an iPhone 4 owner who was a victim of "Antennagate""Just avoid holding it that way."Source: 10 best Steve Jobs emails