2015-2016 Curling Flyer & Registration Sheet: Fill & Download for Free

If you are a member of my team and leave your machine unlocked, even for a few minutes, you'll come back to find that someone has taken advantage of the situation. There have been plenty of the simple changes, pony wallpapers, rival school wallpapers, start menu moved, screenshot of the desktop as desktop, mouse buttons swapped. But some of the more fun changes include:There is a developer who is very vocal about his love for VI, I sent out a meeting invite from his outlook to the team in which he would discuss the merits of emacs as the best editor ever.Once I scheduled a meeting inviting the whole team over for a pool party at the senders house.I installed a script on a timer that would open and close the CD tray at random intervals.I installed the "cloud to butt" chrome extension on one machine. The replaces the word cloud with the word butt on all the web pages you visit. This makes the imdb page for Cloud Atlas seem like a very different movie. The similar xkcd extension has been installed on unprotected machines as well.Inspired by the extension above I wrote two others, which have graced the machines of various teammates. The first translates words on the web pages you visit into phrases that would be used by Tom Haverford from the TV show Parks and Recreation. The second makes simple grammar substitutions, replacing regardless with irregardless, your with you're, swapping their there and they're and a dozen other replacements. The chrome extensions are particularly insidious because if you are signed in to your google account the extensions will propagate to your other authenticated instances. Thus the extensions follow you home.There is a particular coworker who is wrapped up in a running joke about John Stamos. I am working on a chrome extension for him that will replace images on the webpages he visits with images of John Stamos. I just need to do a little cleanup and I'll have it ready for the next time he leaves his machine unattended.Mac coworkers are not exempt (should work on any *nix system) - I recently came across an apple workstation left unguarded. I pulled up a bash window and ran the following command: "curl -s http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/2701/pg2701.txt |say &". This command reads the entirety of Moby Dick through the victims speakers or headphones. For extra cruelty start the command twice just a split second apart for an annoying echo effect.Update: April Fool's 2015It was a good April Fool's this year. I had a few pranks fall through, but the successful ones included:I stuck a post-it on my bosses door before he got in that said,"Michael, Please see me immediately." With an illegible signature.I brought in a box of Krispy Kreme donuts and left it in the team room. But instead of donuts the box contained broccoli.I put bowls in two other common areas with a mix of M&M's and Skittles.I glued a quarter to the sidewalk outside my window, but by the time I got back to my office someone had already grabbed it. I guess it pranked them hours later when it was cemented to the inside of their pocket.I printed a sign and hung it on the bathroom mirror that said, "Mirror out of order, do not use."Our desktops have a usb slot on the motherboard that not many people know about. I plugged a wireless keyboard into a coworkers machine and caused mischief.I set out breakfast for the kids before I left for work. I put a couple drops of food coloring in the bottom of a bowl and then poured cereal over the top. When they got up and poured the milk it magically changed color in their bowls.I washed out an empty jar of mayo and filled it with vanilla yogurt. I then brought it to the morning meeting and proceeded to eat it with a spoon.I had my wife call and leave voicemails on the work phones of two coworkers who regularly take calls. These coworkers often field calls from physicians, they regularly have to make calls to these same doctors, occasionally to a cell phone. The first prank call was from a Dr. Lyons office with a return phone number of the zoo. The other might not fit the criteria of the original question, but I monitored it pretty closely so that it didn't get out of hand. I had my wife pretend to be the wife of some random physician. The call went something like this, "Hi (name of my female coworker), I found your number on my husbands cell phone. I've suspected for a while that he might be cheating on me, but I never could bring myself to accept it. (Ramble on for a minute) Are you with him right now at some cheap motel? (Her voice breaking with emotion) Fine you can just keep him!" The prank was the highlight of her day. She spent the first hour telling everyone about the poor crazy lady who called her, then after figuring out the prank she spent the rest of the day retelling the story to everyone she came across.Update: April Fool's 2016While a coworker was in a meeting I took all her photos off her wall and scanned them. That night I photoshopped in the head of another coworker over the heads of everyone in the photos. She was out of office the day before April Fools so I had ample time to swap out the real photos with my improved ones.I created a fake linked in profile for a guy with job titles like "Cat Herder" and a MD in "Feline Psychology". I friended everyone I could find from work.I bought a three pack of little devices that make strange noises at random times. I hid them in various offices. I'll include the link below. Note, they're very quiet which makes them worthless in a noisy space, but quite hard to find in a quiet office.I found an old photo frame and filled it with cute kittens and placed it on the desk of the new guy on the team. He's now the crazy cat lady.I brought in a wireless router and powered it on but didn't connect it to the network. I then named the access point "Dealing coke in RM 2030". I then went to 2030 and put a bottle of coke on the guys desk and walked out without explanation.A guy on the team is a big fan of Archer so I got an extra large pair of women's panties and attached a photo of Pam with a note that said, "I'll always remember that night behind the motel dumpster. Love Pam." I placed these items in his desk drawer.Two guys were joining our team from other departments and it just so happened that April 1st was their start date. I hauled a coffee table into my office and set up a monitor and keyboard for each of them and collected their nameplates from their current spaces and labeled their new workspaces.I brought in a bluetooth speaker and hid it in various places and made it play noises throughout the day.I put animal crackers in a dog treats box and walked around all afternoon munching on them.I printed out the following flyer and tacked it up on the board in break rooms throughout the company. You'll notice my name is not Randall and that wasn't my phone number.A couple that fell throughThere is a room in our hallway that no one in our group has access to. Once every few months people that we don't know come and work in there. It's kinda strange. I was going to cut off a six inch corner of one of my tarps and put fake blood on it and leave it sticking out from under the door. My wife thought it crossed the line, I mostly just didn't want to cut up one of my tarps.I was going to set up a complete picnic lunch in the lobby and just leave it untouched all day. But it seemed like a lot of work for little payout.Update Oct 2016I’ve had a prank in the back of my mind for a while but it would never work on April Fools, my boss would see through it immediately. A few weeks ago said boss made a little joke making us think that he had taken a job at another company. I decided it was time to spring my prank as retaliation. There about a dozen of us on the team and I got almost everyone to commit to call in sick on the same day. The excuses started out benign but as it got closer to the start of business they got more and more absurd. Then we all just showed up and went about our day as usual.The chrome extensions can be found here, enjoy:Grammar Nazi TranslatorTom Haverford TranslatorCloud To Butt Plusxkcd substitutionsAnnoy-a-tronAmazon.com: ANNOY-A-TRON Prankster Pack: Toys & Games