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Have you ever heard of ‘little Hercules’ ?His father made him body build from an early age. His father regulated his diet, ate pizza in front of him and forced him to watch to build his ‘discipline’ and made him go to the gym every single day. The MOMENT his father was found out to be hitting his mother and went to jail? Little Hercules stopped bodybuilding and went on to live a normal life and actually enjoy things.Now, why am I telling you this? You’re playing against human nature. You think that you know what’s best for your daughter and you’re only doing what’s best for her. But what is going to happen is the exact opposite of your intent.Now you can say: ‘you don’t know that’ until you are blue in the face. History is FILLED with people who lived quiet, oppressed and under the thumb of overbearing parents.Ivan the Terrible was a quiet and meek boy whose parents were of the previous regime. Constantly under the thumb of the new rulers of Russia, always keeping to himself, always being smothered with adult expectations and rules.You want to know what happened the MOMENT he got a little freedom? Killed every last person in that castle.Howard Hughes was a quiet and mousy boy whose mother smothered him with attention and whose father forced stern and unfair expectations. He ended up being one of the most toxic businessmen and movie makers in history and the only businesses of his that succeeded were ones where he had literally NO say in the day to day.Donald Trump had a stern father and a mother who always smothered him with attention much like Howard Hughes. You know what Donald spent his years being? A bully, a narcissist, and much like Howard Hughes , the only things he touches that succeed are those of which he has no say.What is going to happen with your daughter is the following: She will find the stern work ethic you put in front of her to be intolerable, and she will rebel against it. Maybe in middle school, maybe in high school, maybe in college. You want her to become a doctor? Lawyer? Engineer? There are plenty of things one may become, but it is up to the individual to decide that and the parents can only guide them.Children are like water, when you try to force them into your palm, they will slip out and flow someplace else. No matter how swift your hands are.I urge you to change the way you conduct yourself as a parent, as your parenting type is incredibly toxic and counter-productive to a healthy person’s development.Here’s one thing you can do differently: Make your girl go to a dang tutor, don’t DAMN her for the B but don’t throw her a party either. ‘Hmmmm, not bad but I think you need to see a tutor.’ If you try to force anything to rise up with negativity, that person has LIMITS to how far they will rise and eventually the person will resent the process altogether.

My ex-husband’s sister-in-law is a high school graduate who cannot read. I wish I were kidding, but she finished high school and couldn’t figure out basic spelling. I remember taking her with me and our mother-in-law to a cemetery near their home where I thought I may have relatives. She asked me what names to look for. I said that the surnames I expected to find were going to be Beckworth, Ashworth, Perkins, and Buxton. She kept stopping me from looking at the headstones in a less random order to ask if she had found one… none of the names she was showing me were even close to the four names I mentioned and didn’t even start with the correct first letter. I eventually had to explain that what she was looking for was a last name that started with either an A, B, or P so that she would call me over less often. I have no idea how, with that level of illiteracy, she got to graduate from high school. If she were my child, I would likely be attempting to file a suit against the school board. And sure, you can question why her parents didn’t know and fix the problem themselves, but if the school was passing her, why would they question it?My daughter wound up behind after third grade because her teacher ignored her and passed her with high level grades. I thought she was doing fine until she was failing nearly every class when the first report cards went out in fourth grade. Because she was failing classes, we knew something was wrong and had her tested. She was still reading at a second grade level because she was well behaved in class and her third grade teacher ignored her for the class trouble makers. Now she’s a senior and has been in honors English since Freshman year.

There is a popular practice of using soil from the land of sex workers to prepare Durga Idols in Kolkata. From idol makers to priests visit the brothel during Durga Puja to seek the sacred soil. These women are otherwise, subjected to inhumane treatment and shunned from society throughout the year. But during Navratri, they are considered auspicious. Hypocrisy at its peak!A woman’s symbolic value increases as she gives birth to a child. But the same woman is prohibited from lightening her parents’ funeral pyre.You cannot have consensual pre-marital sex but sex with the stranger you marry is perfectly okay. In India, there’s no such thing called as marital rape. A husband has the supremacy over his wife’s body. Consent is not a requirement.Men can have multiple affairs and physical intimacy before marriage but he wants a virgin wife. Virginity is a report card that assesses the character of a girl. We consider a girl virgin only if her hymen is intact. A girl is pure only if, in the morning after the first night, the bedsheet has red spots – coloured from the blood that flourished from ‘pure’ vagina of the bride. If there isn’t blood, she isn’t a virgin. Frankly nauseating!We worship female deities but we don’t allow menstruation women to enter the temple. Dumbstruck!Also, we worship the maximum number of female deities in the world but also ranked as one of the most dangerous place for women.Marriages are said to be made in heaven but two strangers unify based on class, caste and religion. That’s the parameter of a healthy marriage in the eyes of most of our society. Is there a space for honesty, trust, and emotional intimacy? I wonder.Our society want our men to be independent and self-reliant. Yet, dowry is justified by calling it bridal gifts. You see, dowry is an unequal transaction. It is no way related to the bride’s price but rather the groom’s price.Indians would rather happily spend all their hard-earned money on a daughter’s wedding than on her education. What is of great significance is to fill the stomach of hundreds of hungry inquisitive guest and welcome their numbskull criticism. Wedding, in India, is a monetary affair. This might sound like a treacherous hullabaloo for others.Peace and love,Anamika