Cdl Medical Self Certification Form: Fill & Download for Free

Direct copy from DPS Texas:Apply for a CDLTo apply for a Texas CDL or CLP, an individual must:Apply in-person at any driver license office and complete the appropriate application.Present documents to verify identity.Different documents are required if an individual is a U.S. citizen or has lawful presence.Individuals may be required to present more than one document to verify identity, and the information on all documents must match each other.Additional documentation may be required to verify conflicting information such as incomplete names or date of birth.Present documents to verify Texas residency.Present evidence of a Social Security Number (a CDL cannot be issued to individuals who do not have a Social Security Number).Meet the self-certification of medical status Depending on the type of certification, an individual may need to present a medical examiners certificate.Meet the nonresident commercial requirements (in some states this is also referred to as "non-domicile commercial resident") if they are from a foreign jurisdiction other than Canada or Mexico.Present proof of Texas vehicle registration and liability insurance on all vehicles registered in the individual's name.Complete the Supplement Application Texas Commercial Driver License Certifications and Record of CDL Examination. (CDL-1)Consent to be photographed, fingerprinted and provide your signature.Pass the vision test.Pass the knowledge tests for the appropriate driver license including endorsements.Knowledge exams must be taken in order:Texas Commercial RulesGeneral KnowledgeCombination (Class A Only)Air Brake (If applicable)EndorsementsPay the required fee with a credit card, cash, money order or a non-temporary check.Provide a commercial motor vehicle (CMV) for the driving test. The CMV must be representative of the type of license in which the individual is applying for.Driving tests may be scheduled onlineSkills TestVehicle Inspection TestBasic Vehicle Control TestRoad TestApplicant must present a valid driver license and valid (unexpired) CLP (if required) prior to taking the Skills TestNot every driver license office is able to accommodate a CDL road testFor more info, pls go to dps.texas.gov.

Are you thinking about becoming a professional truck driver? You probably asked yourself: how much can I make as a trucker? Or will my trucker salary sustain my family? Will my pay be measly or is it possible to earn $100K a year driving trucks? What will road life be like…is it worth it?What you earn on the road depends on many factors, and this comprehensive guide analyzes what you can make as truck driver in North America and how you can increase your income. It will even tell you about other circumstances, like where you live and what you can do to get the highest possible wage over the long term.Although you might not be able to make $100,000/year off the bat, but given the truck driver demand, and with experience, specialization, CDL training and the right company, you can make $80,000+ on a trucker salary.Source: GlassdoorSummary of ReportMedian annual salary of truck drivers = $43,680 ($21 per hour) in 2018 (an increase of $2,500 approx. from 2014)The top 10% of truck drivers made more than $65,260 per year in 2018Trucker’s income is affected by CDL, experience, the state you work in, or the company you work forTo increase a driver’s wage – get into specialized work or obtain endorsements to have an advantage over other candidatesThe best jobs in truck driving are the ones that take you out on the open road. There are plenty of opportunities, so it means there is something for most everyone who wants to be a trucker.Drivers with Class A commercial drivers licenses (CDL) and experience in over the road (OTR) driving heavy or tractor-trailer trucks tend to get the better positions. Once you get the experience on the road the possibilities for a well-paid driving career open up wide like the highway ahead of you.The future need is projected to be for an additional 404,000 OTR truck drivers, over the next ten years, to account for the growth of the trucking business and to replace current workers who leave the industry.According to American Trucking Associations (ATA), freight volume has increased but the truck-load market cannot add capacity due to a shortage of drivers. As a result, there was a deficit of 51,000 drivers in the U.S. in 2017, an increase of 15,000 from 2016.A career in trucking is in high demand, and this guide will explain how you can earn more than the median income, how they calculate truck driver pay, and the different options you can choose to find the well-paid career path that becomes a fulfilling lifestyle for you.Truck Driver SalaryLet’s start out by taking a look at the fundamental industry statistics. According to The Bureau of Labor Statistics, the government agency that publishes employment figures, the 2018median heavy and tractor-trailer truck driver pay was $43,680 per year or $21.00 per hour among 1,958,800 drivers.The lowest 10% of the drivers made less than $28,160 a year, however, the highest 10% of the truckers earned more than $65,260 per year.And Glassdoor.com shows truck driver salaries average base pay of $59, 544 based on 4,512 across the United States (as at April 2020). See the following image:Source: http://Glassdoor.comAt Indeed.com, (as at April 2020) they show a similar trucker compensation as Glassdoor.Source: Job Search | IndeedIn both images above, there is a significant variance between the upper and lower salaries among drivers, which is a result of experience, education/training, specialization, location and the company that you’re employed at.New vs. Experienced DriversHow much you earn as a truck driver is determined by how much experience you have at the wheel of a truck, whether you have a CDL, if you work for yourself or not, specialized work, and much more.Obviously as a new driver you will start at the bottom of the pay scale. If you go through a trucking company to get your training and licensing you will most likely get paid a flat rate weekly. Most companies average around 500 weekly for the time that you’re in training.Once you are on your own, most companies will pay within the range of 27-40 cents a mile. Your best bet to make more money as a new driver is to find a smaller trucking company to work for – they tend to start in the .35 cent range.With a bigger “training” company you can expect to make in the $38,000 to $40,000 a year range. With a good smaller company you can expect $42,000 to $44,000 a year range. Don’t forget, those numbers may seem small, most companies do have sliding pay scales where after a year or six months your pay rate goes up, most companies have it at a 2 cent raise. After that the raises usually go yearly up to a certain number of years, most usually three years.Here’s a table we put together to compare current truck driver jobs in the market using Job Search | Indeed (as at November 7, 2018). The top paying jobs typically require at least 1.5 – 2 years experience, such as working for Walmart Transportation or Sherwin Williams (paint company).WalmartJobTruck DriverQualificationsCDL A, 2 yrs CDL A experienceYearly Salary$86,000Sherwin WilliamsJobClass A CDL DriverQualificationsCDL A, 2 yrs CDL A experience, LTL and/or OTR, Hazardous Materials and Tanker endorsementsYearly Salary$80,000Shaker Transport Inc.JobTruck DriverQualificationsCDL A, 2 yrs CDL A experienceYearly Salary.50 per mile ($65K approx)*Arkansas Best FreightJobCity DriverQualificationsCDL A (with doubles/triples, tanker & HAZMAT endorsements), 1 yr tractor/trailer experienceYearly Salary$45,000 avg*CostcoJobTractor Trailer Truck DriverQualificationsCDL AYearly Salary$63,000 avg**RyderJobCDL-A Dedicated Truck DriverQualificationsCDL A, 1 yr experienceYearly Salary$45,000 avg*UPSJobFull-Time Road DriverQualificationsCDL A (HAZMAT, Twin Trailer, & Tanker endorsements)Yearly Salary.7042 per mile ($91K)*UPSJobCity DriverQualificationsCDL A (HAZMAT, Twin Trailer, & Tanker endorsements)Yearly Salary$24/hr ($50K)UPSJobDelivery DriverQualificationsCDL B (up to 3.5 metric tons), Package-handling principle, Proficiency in IT environmentYearly Salary$23/hr ($48K)**Hoovestol Inc. (U.S. mail contractor)JobClass A DriverQualificationsCDL A, 1.5 yrs tractor/trailer experienceYearly Salary$29/hr ($60K)***Using 2,500 miles/week **http://Glassdoor.com dataJobQualificationsYearly SalaryHourly Pay for CDL Holders vs. NonDo you need a CDL to have a great driving job? Well, the short answer is yes.The problem with driving jobs that you can do with a private driver’s license is that employers expect that almost every other employee has a private license and can do the job too. That means that there is no difference between non-CDL drivers and workers in other service positions.Having your CDL gives you an edge over someone who doesn’t – an employer will almost always select a truck driver that has their Commercial Driver’s License over someone without.Non CDLCDLNew Truck Driver$8-$12 per hour$17 - $19 per hourExperienced$8-$12 per hour$19 - $50+ per hourInterested in getting CDL training?How Truckers Earn a LivingThe Over the Road Income ModelThe transportation industry treats professional truck driving as piecework.Where most non-salary employees earn their income by the hour, truckers do it by the mile.You will see pay listed as “cost per mile” or CPM, which is the rate that you earn behind the wheel. The CPM and the number of miles you can drive in a day determine your earning potential of your OTR job.Speed limits, negotiating city streets and time at the loading dock, waiting to load or unload; you have very definite limits to your income. State and Federal regulations that regulate interstate trucking also place strict limits on how many hours you work.In reality, with waiting times and heavy traffic, you will most likely find that a realistic distance that you can cover in a day is around 450 miles.Other Payments that Round Up the Salary PackageIf you are earning based on CPM and you have an employer that values your work, you will likely get other types of payments to make up for the fact that business requires you to wait or cut your day short on many occasions. Examples of this include:Performance bonuses of as much as $0.05 CPM paid monthly or quarterlyReferral bonuses of $2,000 per hire or moreHiring bonuses of $6,000 or morePayment for time spent waiting due to operational stops or delaysAttractive medical, dental and other insurance packagesDo Some States & Cities Pay More than Others?The income potential for trucking careers is remarkably uniform throughout the United States. However, there is some variation in the average earnings that heavy and tractor-trailer truck drivers earn across the United States that does not seem to be related to the cost of living.For those who want the career and to maximize the income potential, it could be a very sensible option to consider applying for positions in a region or transportation hub that has a lower cost of living and higher earning potential.Highest Income Potential by StateSource: BLSTop 6 Paying States for Truck DriversAlaskaHourly Mean Wage$28.77Annual Mean Wage$59,840North DakotaHourly Mean Wage$25.96Annual Mean Wage$53,990New YorkHourly Mean Wage$25.58Annual Mean Wage$53,210District of ColumbiaHourly Mean Wage$25.58Annual Mean Wage$53,200WyomingHourly Mean Wage$25.29Annual Mean Wage$52,600Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2019Hourly Mean WageAnnual Mean WageTop Paying Cities for Truck DriversBarnstable Town, MAHourly Mean Wage$30.14Annual Mean Wage$62,680Lewiston, ID-WAHourly Mean Wage$29.45Annual Mean Wage$61,260Anchorage, AKHourly Mean Wage$29.40Annual Mean Wage$61,160Fairbanks, AKHourly Mean Wage$29.24Annual Mean Wage$60,820Bismarck, NDHourly Mean Wage$28.20Annual Mean Wage$58,650Cheyenne, WYHourly Mean Wage$27.86Annual Mean Wage$57,940La Crosse-Onalaska, WI-MNHourly Mean Wage$27.64Annual Mean Wage$57,500Enid, OKHourly Mean Wage$27.38Annual Mean Wage$56,940Santa Rosa, CAHourly Mean Wage$26.74Annual Mean Wage$55,620Danville, ILHourly Mean Wage$26.45Annual Mean Wage$55,010Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2019Hourly Mean WageAnnual Mean WageTruck Drivers Salaries ComparisonWe put together a table that compares different trucking jobs in the industry, and their median wage and reported high income.As you can see the compensation between job functions in trucking varies.LTL Line-Haul TruckerMedian Pay$48,000Reported High Income$72,000OTR Freight TruckerMedian Pay$48,000Reported High Income$62,000Intermodal TruckerMedian Pay$48,000Reported High Income$72,000Flatbed Tractor Trailer DriversMedian Pay$48,000Reported High Income$72,000Dry Bulk Grain HaulerMedian Pay$54,000Reported High Income$120,000Refrigerator Trailer DriversMedian Pay$52,000Reported High Income$80,000Liquid Bulk HazmatMedian Pay$54,000Reported High Income$120,000Heavy Equipment TransporterMedian Pay$60,000Reported High Income$150,000Car Transport DriverMedian Pay$73,000Reported High Income$120,000Ice Road TruckingMedian Pay$40,000Reported High Income$210,000Dump Truck Or Cement TruckMedian Pay$38,000Reported High Income$60,000Grocery Services DeliveryMedian Pay$38,000Reported High Income$80,000Local Trucking - Straight TruckMedian Pay$41,000Reported High Income$53,000Ways to Maximize a Trucker’s EarningsExperience and the determination to find the right position counts for much in the search for a well-paid OTR driving position.The following positions are examples of some of the jobs that are available to drivers with current certifications and years of experience behind the wheel.Specialized Trucking Jobs with Higher PayLine Haul and Intermodal Driving PositionsAccording to http://Glassdoor.com line haul drivers can earn as much as $80,000 per year.Line haul truckers move LTL freight between terminals, which may be more than 1,000 miles apart. Intermodal drivers do the same on shorter routes, earn similar pay but get home nightly and take weekends off.Hazmat EndorsementDrivers with the right endorsements can earn extra income transporting hazardous materials.These might be bulk liquids such as fuel for gas stations or industrial chemicals. You can typically earn a few cents to a few dollars more per mile over a regular type of load, depending on the type of material you’re hauling.Tank EndorsementIf you have your Tank endorsement, you can drive a truck designed to transport liquid in a tank that is temporarily or permanently attached to the chassis or the vehicle.You can also transport any liquefied gaseous material in a permanent tank that requires placards.Over Sized LoadsMoving over sized loads on heavy equipment transport trailers that accommodate cargoes of over 80,000 pounds. According to one truck driver on Yahoo Answers:“I started hauling “specialized” which is basically all your oversized loads, that is when I seen my bank account start adding up. $140,000 the first year. But I did work my butt off, 5 weeks out and 2 days home.”Ice Road TruckingFor the adventurous and experienced driver who enjoys cold weather, ice road trucking can be a seasonal occupation that brings in more income than any other.According to AOL Jobs, specialized ice road truck drivers can make up to $250,000 for working only two months of the year.These high-salaried ice truckers make deliveries such as food, fuel, supplies and equipment to oil and mine workers in Canada and Alaska.These truckers drive on frozen waterways to make these deliveries, making this job extremely dangerous. As much as these high-paying jobs are appealing, these opportunities are rare and only enjoyed by a select few.Owner Operator Truck DriverOwning your own transportation business can be lucrative, especially if you keep your expenses in check such as fuel and trucking gear, provide stellar customer service, and focus on growing your business.An independent trucker’s earnings can be significantly more compared to an employee, for example, a 500 mile a day average in a given year, can earn you about $156,000 (cpm $1.25) as an owner vs. $81,000 (cpm .65 cents) as an employee.Check out other high-paying trucking positions.Small vs. Large Company – Difference in PayIn both large companies and small, you will have to deal with similar amounts of paperwork and with managers and other workers who interact with you on a daily basis. While you may feel more anonymous in a big corporation you still get noticed for you behavior, attitude, and performance; people skills make all of the differences in both cases.Truck drivers are on the outside and engage with clients and vendors more than other employees would. You will be on the road in a vehicle that might have a logo the size of a billboard on its side. So people skills are an essential tool in the truck driver’s toolkit, regardless of whether you’re in the largest corporation or a family-run startup.Small CompaniesCPMs of $0.35 – $0.50 are typical for employees, OTEMore access to senior management or ownersMore intimate connection to the businessMore flexibility in job descriptionsThe chance to take the initiative and contribute a winning ideaSmall Company ConsSmall businesses owners may be less than crystal clear on the legal status of their drivers. If any employer wants to hire you as a “contractor”, make sure that you get professional advice on what that means specifically, and whether it is the right choice for you.Again, contractors and self-employed drivers carry the entire burden of taxes. In return, they need a much higher CPM than employees just to break even. If you get an offer like $0.40 per mile as a contractor, run!Large CompaniesEmployee CPMs of $0.23 – $0.60 are widely documented, OTELow CPMs tend to apply to inexperienced driversLikely to have more diverse driving positions availableYou may have a path to managementRelocate to a region of your choiceLarge Company ConsThere are some large trucking companies that hire and train drivers straight off the street. They are notorious for having very high driver turnover rates. They assume that the cost of training and the risks of operating heavy vehicles with inexperienced drivers is just a trade-off, a calculation that works out well for them.There is a real difference at the end of the scale that hires easy and pays cheap. Some companies have developed a reputation for hiring anyone who might qualify for training, conduct the training in-house and send underpaid and inexperienced drivers out on the road alone.Check out our review of the best truck companies to work for.ConclusionIf you want to become a professional truck driver, start out by getting the best possible training and earning your CDL. Then find a fair and decent employer that will get you on the road gaining the OTR experience that will be the basis for your long-term career. It is likely that you will find out whether trucking is the way of life for you at this point.There will be plenty of truck-driving jobs available in the next decade as the industry expands and existing staff turns over. Use this to your advantage to choose the route that gives you a lifestyle you enjoy and an income you can call a career. If it is the right career for you and you have the determination to stick with it until you succeed, you can be part of the elite.Once you have two to five years’ experience, seek that position that pays well, and you enjoy doing. Alternatively, start thinking about finding a specialized driving job, becoming an owner/driver and perhaps teaming up with a partner to make the best income while you have the adventure of a lifetime living and working on the road.A truck DRIVER can rarely make $100k USD in a year, but it happens occasionally.A truck OWNER who also drives the truck can absolutely make that much, depending on good freight, good maintenance, and good dispatch.If you’re asking “who will pay me that much?” The answer is NOBODY. How can you EARN that much? Find a carrier that will pay you a percentage of the profit you bring down to the truck. Then run the wheels off it, keep the left door shut, and take 10 hour breaks and not 12 hour breaks.

Short answer, or long story? I'll go ahead and aim for the middle. As a teeny weeny child til and throughout my late teenage years, I was constantly picked on by all my peers; whether work, school, or play. One day while at a new job working as a pizza maker I was offered a brew which I declined as I know alcoholism does not agree with my family tree. Not long after, a co-worker lit up a fat doobie and I was pressured into taking a puff or five. I felt a brand new world, once never experienced before; a world of no regard, a world of association, a world that bloomed of confidence, and healed my woes. Since that was so wonderful, I took that brew to experience the mindset that had in store for me. I was awoken, and spent my senior year plus the next… well… spent the rest of my life primarily focused on being high, drunk, or educating myself about various substances and intoxicants, many times through experience. Throughout this journey into experiencing the many walks of life out there, I pretty much stayed quite stagnant in the pursuit of any kind of successful career path. I also, rather than opening new horizons was caught in an unseen downward spiral. I took many undesirable and shameful actions in order to continue my journey to rock bottom. Some of the worst things I did, was robbing my parents ATM of about a grand a week (doctors dont quite keep tabs on all the money to their name, or so I thought), I had also took advantage of my grandmother who suffered from debilitating dementia, by snatching a few blank checks and writing them for cash to myself, a total of 3g. Some of the most desperate things I've done include pawning most my valuables for pennies, scowering the University campus at night stealing any and everything that headed to the pawn shop shelves, breaking into a friends apt while he was asleep to steal his gaming system… to pawn, and maybe donating blood. One of the most regretful things I did to finance this “research", was when I cashed in every single savings bond my grandfather had purchased me, which he did on each of my birthdays, I'd have a good chunk of change right now if I wouldnt have done that. I was caught and suffered consequences for most of the more significant wrong doings, such as the ones victimizing my own family. I also had my very fair share of legal issues due to my substance compulsion; 7 DUI's (yes.. 7, however due to some unseen force of nature or perhaps.. gift, my last name is so difficult to spell, many of those DUI's never followed me therefore, allowing me to stack up that ginormous stat, 1 in a different state I never showed back up in court for, and 1 was pretty recent sadly). I had about 4 public intox charges that I can recall, I've had 1 pretty bs possession charge, I've had 1 pretty fabricated DV charge that was dropped, and for my grand finale I have had 2 assault on officer charges, one was initially dropped pretty easily while, the other I was facing a felony five year sentence for but luck was in my cards as the prosecutor messed up the paperwork and I was instead just given the accompanied DUI. Consequently I have served around 7 weeks in various jails or mental health treatment centers throughout my life. In this time frame, freedoms were far from the only privledge lost, I lost or damaged strong friendships. I lost all trust, respect, and support from family including a sister who still to this day will not speak to me. I lost every decent opportunity to maybe set a new foot forward that ever came my way, such as a few educational opportunities, job promotions or just plain jobs in general, I once was gifted the opportunity to embrace a new trade while being guided through on the job training, I lost that too. Throughout my life, I have had my EMT-IV (ambulance) license, I have held a CDL, I was even eligible to test for my private pilots license at one time, and I threw them all away, for mishaps that occurred throughout my years “chasing that dragon". I assume you may ask, if I ever tried to stop my lifestyle, and if you have the answer would be yes. I actually have visited 7 different rehabs and treatment centers throughout this time, the first one in Albany NY, the others were in Colorado Springs CO, Mantachie MS, Pierre SD, and then a handful in my hometown of Memphis Tennessee. I even have seriously and effortedly tried, to no avail, to put a permanent stop to my series of blunderfucks. As I am definitely too big a pussy to put a barrell to my head, I went ahead and at the suggestion of an AOL chat room compadre, filled two 24oz glasses up with a very green sweet nectar, also known as Anti Freeze and promptly throw them down the hatch but, considering that was around 2003 and I am currently telling you about it, no it did not accomplish the task which it was set out to do. Nope, it did not, but in its course running through my organs, it made me feel very very tipsy, so much so that my boss called my mother to come pick my drunk ass up. My entire family would not buy my story of anti freeze ingestion, so after a brief first fight with my father, I called 911 and off to The Med I was whisked. In conclusion to that episode of my so called crazy life, alcohol crazy as it sounds saved my life. Prior to my two fresh beverages for courage I drunk a six pack with a chaser of rum and oddly enough alcohol slows down the impact of anti freeze poisoning, so instead of an early exit as I had dreamed for, I spent the next 30 days in The Med with kidney failure on a dialysis machine until the doctors tried an approach initiated by my father, which returned the functioning in my kidneys. Dont worry, I got an awesome consolation prize and spent the next two weeks in a hospital mental health facility. So, before moving on I'd like to illustrate some of the experiences the life I was living bought me, you know… other than the aforementioned. Well, I was pleasantly surprised enough to have a gun pointed at my temple on I believe two occasions by two pretty credible threats; a mental health sufferer who wanted to “die today, but not go alone", and a common hoodrat. I had had the pleasure of being assaulted and robbed, I have gotten to experience the joys of the project which included bagging up drugs while polishing AK47 rounds. Oh, on a more serious note, I've had my freedom spared by a very kind hearted prostitute once who vouched to two officers that she was in fact driving my car when they approached me at a Schenectady NY gas station. I spent the next three days and nights thanking her, one hit of the crack stem at a time and no, there was no intercourse; but we did build a fort out of pillows in her hotel room, and I even pissed on her pimps couch one drunken night, he did not take lightly to that. I've climbed buildings with delusional thoughts racing through my mind while on a bad hit of acid, trying to convince myself to trip over the edge. Get this, I ever got married to the very first girl I was intimate with, although the relationship was hell from the beginning, my over influenced perception led me to pursue at least 3 other relationships while legally binded to my lack of ability to love, half black/quarter indian/quarter white, fully cra cra wife. Speaking of that time period, I used my position as a licensed medical profession in full, to gain access to patients medications; that was the downfall of those entrusted and privileged responsibilities. I had a relationship with a freshly barely legal 18yo when I was 25, all she wanted to do was pleasure me with her mouth, all I wanted to do was steal her parents pain meds, and get drunk alongside, and pass out in the backyard, with her father. I had a awesome little Ford Ranger stolen from me one day, I was cruising through the neighborhood my green M+M (lortab 10′s) dealer lived in one day and took a pit stop at some drinks shack in that same neighborhood; woke up the next day with a broken rib, a contusion on my head, black eye, and a few small cuts, but no truck insight. I ran for help, I knocked on every door on that street but noone answered, so next thing I know I was being pulled out of some random vehicle by the Memphis PD, cuffed, and tagged. That was a charge I forgot to mention, an eventually dropped criminal trespass. I'll continue on to the next chapter after this crazy adventure or two quick mentions; I was kicked out of my parents home for admitting to having a pretty consistent cocaine habit at a point. I lived the next several weeks with a very supportive buddy, and my coke dealers gf, his gf's mother, his gf's mother's bf, and his gf's four children's, in a one room shotgun home while learning the ropes of the street from him. He even introduced me to a gang party, unfortunately the gang was not the one I had told people I associated with and unfortunately I was pretty loose due to a bit of blow and liquid courage when I boldly told the Vice Lord to fix his crooked hat, to represent the more respectful Gangsta Disciples. As you can imagine, we were exited swiftly, by a bit of pistol strapped angry Vice Lords. I also want to mention another felony charge I beat, that occurred with maybe my fourth DUI, when all I can recall is I was very amped up for a new years eve party with a bottle of liquor in hand, when the next thing I remember is I was waking up to wetted pants locked in a jail cell. That felony was supposedly for evading arrest, but my quick talking lawyer sold them out of that notion in exchange for a week in the penal farm, some community service, and an ignition interlock on my vehicle. Moving along here, and with more summary mode than detailed as I have let this medium sized story grow too large, but do understand that I have taken a pretty good amount of “perscribed” adderall this evening. So after all the conflicts with my substance abuse, and at the time my experiences with every drug other than heroin and meth, one fateful evening I caught my last DUI. I ran into another vehicle this time, and was locked away in Memphis's infamous 201. I got on my knees and begged God for mercy, and pleaded with him to help me stop living my life in this manner after all, I could have easily killed an innocent person, which there is no coming back from. The day after my beat down parents bonded me out, I was struck in jaw dropping awe while I witnessed an amazing performance by my beloved 2009 Memphis Tigers scrape out of a deep hole against a nobody and heart fully effort a check mark in the win column. When I arrived home I busted out the trusty internet and invested many long days researching and studying sports ethics. I then converted these principals into my own life and man, the successes started pouring in life a amazon rain shower. I dived into furthering my education and repairing my previous D average GPA, I was asked to help a friend coach a little league to as an assistant, and I began formulating my future which at the time was to implement these very same principals into my own treatment so folks would have an option, other than flawed and misguided, antiqued messages found in 12 step groups like AA. So I jumped my GPA up to a 3.5, I formulated my treatment ideas and instilled the important lessons into the minds of my little league team as a trail. Our team, was a last minute thrown together formation of stragglers, and we were picked to finish where we began, dead last. On our last game of that season's playoff, our team walked away not only deemed as the most entertaining, considering we drew in crowds so large they had to add an extra bleacher st each event, but we were honored to place 3rd. That was some pretty damning evidence in my mind that the ideals laid out in my plan had merit, for I know nothing about baseball, my friend taught the skill and I padded the mind into a team of believers and achievers. I researched and started school at a institute dubbed one of the top five best in the nation for its addiction sciences degree. Fast forwarding through the many dropped math classes, I found myself kicked off financal aid, yet another failure. I then came home an studied substance abuse counseling at a Theological institute in my local community. At this place, and possibly many others in my life, my path for being on this earth was illuminated to me. After a peer mock counseling session which was observed and critiqued by a world renown, authored, counselor, he did something he has never ever done throughout his time guided young minds in his specialty; that day he told everyone good job and to go on home, but he asked me to stay after class. I did not know what to expect, in my mind my session was pretty to the point and quiet as I was actually very nervous. He looked me in the eye, placed a hand on my shoulder, and confidently told me that I have a gift. He told me I must finish the class, because he saw something in me, that he has not seen in anyone else, a natural ability. He told me it is detrimental that I earn my counseling certification as there were many lives out there that I could save. Unfortunately for him, our old school black professor was so racist, I had to drop out because I've heard a bit too much daily minutes after minutes about how my kind, “the white man" have held blacks down. The institute did not ever get back in touch with me about my complaint, that's the modern days South for ya. So from then on I pretty much have floated through life, working dead end jobs, marrying into a dead end marriage, and wishing on a shooting star that something will eventually fall into place to help my gifts toward this society come together someday, all throughout sober. I wont lie, I hit one snag abruptly a year ago to date. My wife an I had fallen into some struggles and had separated, I went into a depression fueled drive off the deep end. I started drinking again, snorting prescription meds, contemplating suicide, and taking wrong turns at every crossing. This lead to my most recent and last legal run in. I had just acquired a few autographs of the Memphis football, and current Chicago bears Anthony Miller. On my way to deliver one to a friend in a neighbouring county I filled the absent time with what I do best of course. Popping prescribed benzodiazepines while choking them down with a nice refreshing high alcohol containing frosty beverage. I'll tell ya what, after 15 clonopin and maybe 34 tall boys my day got a lot shorter. After delivering the autograph, I woke up… again incarcerated after having unconsciously wrecked my car. I was facing 5yrs in prison but luck swung my way and I escaped with 30 days in the Tipton jail. Skipping ahead cause I need to run to work, it is currently to the date, 1yr later and I've been sober about the last 35% of it. I've aas also acquired to bs jobs I can walk to, and more importantly I've been getting signs left and right from the heavens above to pursue my choosen path. Really odd and clear signs that are a bit beyond coincide. That is where I am today, I am trapped in a dull existence due to my own circumstances, while eagerly scratching at the opportunity to make everyone proud of me. I have a addiction pysch I've seen for 18 some years, he helped me kick opioids more than once with bupenorphine, and I saw him Tuesday and eagerly pressed him for some adderall to help me hold the motivation I needed to earn my God granted potential that I can offer the world. He obliged and as I left his office, I promised my good doctor buddy, that I love as family, I will make him proud one day. The next day, as I skimmed an article put out by the local media about several docs nabbed for illegal opioid practices, his name was front and center, my 82yo psychiatrist who dedicated his entire life to helping others stand tall and find happiness through success rather then dwell in failure. He dedicated SO much into saving complete strangers, that rather then retiring to his beach home he continued practicing into his geriatric prime. Now I must make good on that promise, because his arrest has ripped my heart open allowing nothing but deep hurt and compassion for my doctor Richard Farmer. What a way to be honored for God send like improvements in the world around you, rather than a deserved statue in his honor, bars in his face. I'm doing it for him and te message God has painted to me alike, and all those in my life who never gave up on me even as I was cutting my own wrists hoping the life would bleed out of me.Oh yeah and the moral of the story is I would not change a single thing. It all had a larger meaning, as most paths do. Some people realize it and take ahold of the reigns accepting responsibility while others dwell in it and place the blame on everyone besides themselves. So yes as you have clearly led, I 100% destroyed my life through years of ongoing substance abuse, but at the same time I've learned so many self induced valuable and concrete lessons, that the question remains, did I ruin my life or did I realize what my life was intended to be through the long course of ruin?Sorry so long.