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PDF Editor FAQ

Shouldn't AA meeting attendance be a secret?

AA meetings do not take or keep “attendance” logs. In the early days AA groups kept detailed rosters of members but that hasn’t been the case since the 1960’s. Individuals sentenced to attend recovery meetings as a result of a DWI are required to get signatures on a “court card” verifying attendance but since their arrest is in the public record and meeting directories are available on line anonymity is not implied or expected.

What are the good and bad points of Alcoholics Anonymous?

I’ve been around the program since 2012. I only really got serious in 2015.The Good-It’s free. Walk into a meeting, get a cup of coffee, and sit down. If you’re drunk please keep your mouth shut if called on, but otherwise, it’s an open space for alcoholics(and in some cases addicts depending on the area.) to try and get well.The literature is extremely specific, particularly the Big Book. Unlike NA the AA book was written well and really isn’t open for interpretation beyond people who don’t pay attention to when it was written.It works great for some people. I’m not so sure in my case, but I consider it a vital adjunct to the therapy I’m enrolled in for mental health issues.It allows someone who’s bottomed out to start networking. This is extremely important in early recovery. Even relative newbies like me can help guys and gals out with resources for housing, finding a job, available social services, etc. Most will happily do so.Due to how open it is I can drop into any town and immediately have the start of a support group. That’s a big plus for me and was extremely important during my Traveler days.The courts will often drop alcohol charges in exchange for some meetings.The Bad-Big Book thumpers. In general and in two specific instances.The first will insist that AA is the only way to sobriety and happiness. That’s blatantly bullshit, goes directly against the book they’re quoting and is generally a terrible idea. At one point I had someone argue with me that my intensive outpatient course(3 hours a day, 4 days a week, enrolled voluntarily) was useless.The second will insist mental illness will go away if you work the steps. It doesn’t. Mine started 11 years before I picked up my first drink, it didn’t go away when I was working with sponsees during my first significant period of sobriety, and it’s still there now. These same people will often tell you that they’re proudly off their medications. That’s their choice, those around me will tell you how bad things are when I’m not on my medication… for both me and those around me.Involvement with the courts is a double-edged sword, it also means there are plenty of people with no interest in getting sober but who love throwing their problems in front of the group until they go back to it. On my first court card, I just slipped in, kept my mouth shut, and grabbed my card and left. I don’t think a single person in the room ever knew my name.The inclusiveness and general attitude of forgiveness often means you’ll be dealing with some rather irritating personalities on a regular basis.There will always be that guy somewhere in the group who loudly proclaims “I call my Higher Power Jesus Christ and I’m not afraid to say it!” during their share. Always. This guy will be there. In my experience, once you get off the West Coast this dude will be in every meeting unfailingly.I have no objection to a person’s religion but dude… we’re in the US, it’s a Christian majority nation, you’re not persecuted and that’s not a particularly brave statement. If you really want to mix Christianity and recovery there is a Power to Choose meeting or twelve in basically every town in America. And they will absolutely give me crap or try to convert me once they realize I’m a pagan so that’s more of a personal issue of mine than a real issue with the program itself.Everyone’s take on “bad” will vary. I tend to be a realist about the matter and realize that many of my objections are the same as those I find outside the rooms.The Ugly-Predators.13th stepping is rampant in some groups. I’m not going to say I’ve never approached a woman in early recovery, but generally, our sobriety dates were within a month or so of each other. I didn’t have five years of sobriety and find myself hitting on the woman still in withdrawals.This actually goes both ways as far as genders are concerned.I’m not really afraid to call out anyone on that kind of crap which definitely leaves a sour taste in some people’s mouths.I’ve been in groups where the old-timers will shut that crap down immediately, which is something I’m quite fond of seeing. In others, the old-timers are the predators.Self-policing depends on the group and its make-up. I’ve seen people become unwelcome for this behavior but largely it goes on a bit in most groups I’ve been a part of to some extent.In other cases, we have actual predators and not just opportunistic assholes. I can recall one gentleman(of the aforementioned “Christ is my higher power” stripe) who was consistently hanging around with single mothers and giving gifts to their children.I had a hunch about it and checked the Megan’s Law list for the town. The gentleman in question had been charged twenty years previously with two counts of violent sexual assault on a minor under the age of ten. As an entrenched old-timer he’s still there, but myself and a few of the younger guys in the program made damn sure every single mother walking in the door knew what was going on.I can forgive a lot, but a violent predator still displaying grooming behavior? Absolutely not. In those days when I was still younger and angrier, I’d have killed him if I found him alone and enjoyed the free commissary while serving my sentence with a smile. God may forgive that sort of thing, I don’t.The TakeawayIt’s a group of people following a set of spiritual principles. Every group is different. Everyone has their own take on the program. There are assholes, there are cliques, it’s just human nature in microcosm. The only real difference is that many people have a bit more self-awareness than you find in the outside world.It’s worth a shot. If you’re dual-diagnosis it won’t replace proper psychiatric care and therapy but it’s a useful adjunct and you’ll most likely feel much less alone.I’m still fresh in this time around but I attended groups until I found one I liked and I’m there at least six days a week.

How common is infidelity among AA participants?

I don't think that infidelity in AA is any more common than it is within normal society. In fact people who are TRULY working the AA program and trying to repair relationships are going to hopefully be truer to their spouse. Recovery is about not doing damage to others and to your self.But, remember, I said those who are TRULY working the 12-Steps. There are people the court and probation departments SEND to AA. They are there to merely get their court card signed and they have intention of working the program. They just want the heat off of themselves. So they will sit there and scam the other newcomers looking for tail.

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