Discount Tire Application: Fill & Download for Free

“Girls…your mom gets the Big Boob Discount.”Yep, I said it. To my daughters. Ages 11 and 8 at the time, as I recall.For those of you not in the know, women that have large breasts and aren’t overly fat get discounts and free stuff. Like, all the time. The more attractive the female, the more free stuff you get. Don’t believe me?The old adage is that women get ripped off by mechanics. The theory of the Big Boob Discount supersedes that. Several years back, I stopped into the local tire dealership to inquire about getting 4 new tires on the minivan; I compared some prices and picked out what I thought would be a good set and said I’d be back the next day, Saturday, to get the tires on. Well, scheduling got mixed up, so my Warrior Princess brought the van in; the manager gave her all 4 tires at cost and threw in the tire pressure monitors for free.My Warrior Princess wears a 34DD.That was the first time that I really started wondering about things. I was already aware that large breasts obviously lead to extra benefits. There’s the obvious items, such as getting more drinks bought for you at bars, getting asked out to dinner more often, being the highest paid dancer at the strip club. But, after that day, I began monitoring things and remembering random things she’d told me, like the man at the gas station just buying her gas for her. No strings attached, just told the cashier, “I got hers as well.”It wasn’t too long after that day that I told my wife my theory. She didn’t believe me at first, but then I pointed out that she had just paid $20 to have our front and backyard landscaped by a crew of landscapers…and she was wearing a tight tank top when they came to the door.We have an ice cream man that comes through the neighborhood. One day she took the kids there and got ice cream, dressed in her schoolteacher clothes; two days later, she wore the tight tank top and received the ice cream “on the house.” That’s about as close to science as I can come with the theory of the Big Boob Discount.Over time, it’s become the running joke with us. No, it’s not universal by any means, it’s a bit of a crap shoot. I know the presence of Big Hairy Garrett completely negates the Big Boob Discount. I know men are far more willing to give the Discount than women, but I have noticed that young women often give the Discount. The Discount is most applicable in industries where there’s wiggle room for negotiation, or employees are allowed to give out their discount. In those cases, I will frequently make sure to have my Warrior Princess do the actual purchase.Most of the time, the Discount comes out in very subtle ways, but it’s very noticeable when you actively look for it. “The guy at Arby’s threw in a couple milkshakes for free,” she told me one day, when she bought food for a family of four…the obvious meaning of two milkshakes not being lost on me. “The girl gave me free Starbucks today!” “Aww, the nice guy at the car wash detailed the van for free!”So, the day that I accidentally said, in front of our girls, “Wait, you used the Big Boob Discount…to get free gravel?” (Yeah, she got 10 tons of gravel delivered to our house…for free), my oldest said, “What’s ‘the Big Boob Discount’”, and I had to explain.I did explain, in detail, that it’s wrong. We shouldn’t live in a world where the existence of large, fleshy orbs leads to a cost savings and a better quality of life…but, sadly, we do live in this world. I told them not to depend on it, to still make the best of their lives that they can…but they may very well notice this in the future, and they shouldn’t be surprised when they witness it, or experience it.(for the record, I have no idea if there’s a Big Dick Discount or some other corollary…nor could I know, if you get what I’m saying, and sadly, you probably do….)*** EDIT ***I’ve had a couple remarks now thrown my way that I’d like to clarify:No, my wife does NOT get everything in life for free or for a discount; the Big Boob Discount is not universalNo, I will not post pictures of my wife in a skimpy tank top…seriously, what is wrong with you people???Yes, it was inappropriate to discuss with my girls; however, they’d already heard me say “Big Boob Discount,” the cat was kinda outta the bag at that point, and I make it a point not to lie or hide things from my girls. As far as telling me that this Answer is inappropriate…please re-read the Question.If you feel that I’m being sexist, I have to point out that you may be right, but not in the way you think. This is not even remotely sexist towards women; it’s not negative or derogatory towards women in any way. Now, if I was saying that women SHOULD get discounts for having big boobs, you can hang that label on me, but, quite the opposite, I don’t think that people should get discounts and free things simply because of things like looks or fame or anything of the sort. Does that mean I’m going to turn away free milkshakes? Oh, screw that, I’m gonna slurp up that shake.

As a professional MUA, there are tons of things that I get tired of hearing. That being said, the one thing I am absolutely tired of hearing is ‘there are no rules in makeup.’The application of makeup is an art form unto itself, so I understand why people say this; however, if you are a professional makeup artist there are most definitely ‘rules,’ and these rules we live by keep us employed across the board. We are taught how to apply makeup for different mediums, and if we deviate from these rules, we will not work, period. We have to understand and be able to execute proper application for film and television, photography, stage/theater, SFX, etc. etc. Using the ‘there are no rules in makeup’ is never an excuse for a poor, poor application.I’m tired of being asked to do cut creases, wacky looking Instagram highlighting and contouring, Instagram Dip Brows with so much highlighter around the brows that they end up looking like dead eyebrow chalk outlines.Bridal Work: Won’t do it anymore; simply do not have the temperament. Tired of Brides agreeing to the application at the trial and signing off on the FC only to want to change everything the day of the wedding. Sorry, NO, and No.Tired of hearing about, in my opinion, ridiculous Instagram Champagne Pop highlighting and how it will look fabulous when hit with flash. Yeah…uh, NO.Tired of dealing with Bridesmaids that believe that just because they watch YouTube videos they know what is going to work and not work when captured digitally. Oh, and I was also tired of getting asked if I could do just one more person’s eye makeup for free.Tired of being asked to stay throughout the ceremony and reception for touch-ups and the Bride expecting that I do so for free…Uh, NO.Being asked to airbrush and expecting not to have to pay additional for that service and/or asking for a discount. Ugh.

Truck tires, specifically on tractor trailer vehicles are very expensive. Much of the expense is in constructing the casing prior to the application of the tread section. This section is not suposed to come off.Since every mile they transport has a cost associated with it, many owner operator and trucking companies purchase re-tread tires at a discount. These are good tires with worn tread, where the tread section is removed and replaced, or re treaded. This is done not by the manufacturer of the tire in the most optimum conditons, but by other secondary market companies. The durability of these tires is not always equal to original, as they are not subjected to the same rigorous testing and benefits of mass production and incremental improvement. There was actually a great Dirty Jobs segment on this on the Discovery Channel.While the tire is made in layers, they should not separate under normal wear and tear. Occasionally there is a manufacturing flaw that affects individual tires or even entire production runs, that enables a tire to fail.Here's where it all comes apart. Have you heard the phrase 18 wheeler? The typical motor vehicle driver has a light four wheel vehicle and most only notice a tire is flat or damaged once it has been driven in disrepair long enough to come apart. With an 18 wheeled vehicle with over 10 times the mass holding it stable, there is little chance of feeling a failure in the 16 wheels that are not on the front of the vehicle. Many of the wheels are doubled so an inner wheel is hard to see, especially if you are driving at the time. They tend to get driven to catastrophic failure.Now add in a trailer system that is not owned or serviced by the trucking company like with sea freight container transports, the abusive weight compounded with the occasional clipped curb, road debris causing punctures side wall pinches or tears, and finally the monotonous isolation that the cab provides for the driver, and through in other ambient noises like weather traffic and road noise- you have a.perfect storm for tires to be driven until they deflate and are slapped against the pavement like a jack hammer until they over heat and come apart.Beyond that, it actually happens to cars, trucks, boat trailers, etc. Just drive on a flat tire until either the rim cuts through the sidewall releasing the tread and outer casing, or the heat generated by the resistance from a flat tire cases it to come unbonded, or a puncture allows water to enter the steel belt layer causing corrosion and the disintegration of that section of the belt layer between the layers of casing causing and outer layer to come off like a scab.On that note... time for breakfast.