Answer Packet In A Divorce Without Children: Fill & Download for Free

The discovery was unnerving and heart wrenching; followed closely by disbelief, anger and hostility. Betrayal gouges ones faith in love.Later, relief arrives.Catching her cheating was bittersweet, which might sound odd. Bitter on the front side. One decides what to do afterward. It’s a fork in the road and a choice you live with. Bitter, yes. The sweet comes days, weeks, months even years later.When your gut tells you something is wrong, trust it. When you sniff a cheater, don’t pretend the smell doesn’t stink. Denial is a powerful air freshener.One might not have absolute proof of the affair and may not need it. Each relationship has a differing level of proof. Suspicion is not proof. Guilt keeps us from making false accusations. Trust keeps emotions in control. Thinking back, denial was always mixed in. Denial’s a boozy cocktail, dulling the pains of suspicion. Denial allows one to pull the wool over one’s own eyes. Be careful, there is a balance. No one is easier to fool than yourself. I hoped it wasn’t true.Hope is a poor strategy.Prepare for heart-wrenching anger and disbelief at discovery of proof. Prepare to be played and feeling like a fool. The path towards truth is exhausting, excruciating and all uphill.Yes, I found out.She had, and I discovered, a previous affair when we were quite young. I forgave it using my last dose of youthful exuberance.A few years later I strongly suspected another. My radar was on full alert. She got brazen and slipped up. Cost her dearly. Millions. That’s real $$. The truth? She had serial affairs during the 22 years of marriage with several men.“It’s never a lie, until the truth is discovered.” —Johnny Lee WyomingCue scene.Wife: (puts down phone, smiling and finishing her makeup): “Honey, I’m heading to Jenny’s house. Girls night out. I’ll be home late. Might stay at Jenny’s.”JLW: (thinking damn near out loud “Again? Dressed like that?”) “Oh, ok. I’ll be here. Text later. I love you.”Wife: (pecks JLW’s cheek in passing) “Love ya.”Seven heel clicks. Door closes. Car starts and pulls away. She picks up her phone and dials. She can’t wait to see him.OK, call me sexist if you want, after 22 years of marriage a man knows what his spouse would and wouldn’t wear to a wide range of events. Her story and wardrobe certainly didn’t match, not even close. I’m thinking joggers and plimsolls. She’s wearing a knit dress and her best Valentino Garavani’s.Opened a bottle of Riesling. Inspected the glass. After a sniff and a sip, finally hear knocks of denial. D-e-n-i-a-l.Later, around midnight, checked for her texts. Nothing. Rolled over. 2:00AM, no word. The next morning, 7:43AM, chimes a text, “Sorry, we got smashed. Best for me to stay at Jenny’s.”Alarm bells rang in the distance. I muted them and pulled the wool back over my eyes.Silently wondering who the fuck is Jenny? I’m taking accounts: Never ever heard of Jenny, never met her. In the totality of the marriage she’s never been out unannounced overnight, dressed like that. Wasted again? This is all unprecedented.Over the weeks new patterns emerge: Last minute appointments made and canceled. Usual events are missed. Cash- exclusively- is being spent. She comes home late, smashed and sleeps on the couch. There was always perceptible space between us. Mentally, she was detached. She wouldn’t answer simple questions. Her consciousness of guilt must have been overwhelming.Wail of sirens. Reminded me of London’s ambulances. Something had to change.Winter had packed up, said his goodbyes and was gone. Days later, Spring arrived, wiped her feet on the doormat and came in. Obligatory thunderstorm in the distance.The time had come. This must be faced. Emotions were torrid.Time came and made my accusations, presented my proof, though circumstantial. She was silent, smirked and denied, denied, denied. Her guise was convincing. She reassured me and kissed my cheeks, one by one. She looked me right in the eyes, unwavering. My own senses came partially to her aide, dressed as doubt. Didn’t want it to be true. The inner conflict was unbearable. Through the conversation caught myself covering my ears, shaking my head no. Covered my mouth, still shaking no. Closed my eyes many times.Classic Denial.She texts him and says, “need to be careful, he knows something.”Days drag. The patterns continued. Late again, last minute cancellations, taking calls outside. Finally, allowed myself to realize the truth of the matter and decided to catch her. No more Denial.Time came to mentally discard the wool. The light of truth hurt my eyes.She had to work at hiding the affairs. She struggled a few times a week producing a believable alibi, or at least one I’d hopefully accept. I’m sure it was hard work.I’d joke: “Going to gym, I mean Jim, again?”The gym/Jim question works better spoken. You see the intent in writing. She always said yes.Suspicious and finally accustomed to the light, when she’d get home, I’d check her gym/Jim bag. Clothes smelled fresh from the laundry, everything folded, socks paired. She always came home showered. Guilt rinse, I’ll suppose.The anger started building. Thoughts scattered. Doubt was back. Doubt is a mother fucker. Doubt kept reminding me how much it hurts to be falsely accused. Wasn’t sure whose side my emotions were on, especially that asshole Doubt. Raged filled my inside. I finally told Doubt to shut the fuck up.Odd patterns continued. I’ll save the details of many and slide you one: She is tied to her handset, her phone. She constantly checked it, kept it tucked away or held ever-so-close. Always went outside for a call or texting.Notice it’s locked. Her phone is locked.Cue theme of Mission Impossible.Plan: Get the phone. Get into that phone. It’s my best proof.Truth. Yearn to know the truth. Or maybe not. The fictional character Jules Winnfield said, “If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.”Scary questions, yes. Prepared for scary answers? Maybe. What if Jules Winnfield is right?Did a bit of research and found a method to crack the phone. Observed her unlock code pattern for three days. Stayed calm, aloof and emotionally neutral. I’d look from the corner of my eye or across the room and followed the shape of the pattern with a pen on the grocery list. Always tried to stay calm. Heart pounding. Picked off the first digit in minutes: 1. Seemingly four to go. Three days later, repeatable success.Her Grandmother’s DOB. Match.Couldn’t raise suspicions now. My inner voice was howling.A Friday evening over a glass of Malbec, sparkles glinting off the pool, whimsically asked my young son, “What’s Mum’s phone code?” Disinterested, he told the code. It matched my code. Aghast! I had it.Funny, looking back. Kid had the keys to the city.Knowing the code, put on imaginary gauntlets and donned imaginary body armor. Picked up an imaginary sword and hoisted a fantastically thick shield. Imagined clanking down the hall. Off to battle. Off with her head.She was in the other room and oddly—for the first time in days— without her phone. Clanked to the phone wearing my imaginary armor and lifted my imaginary face guard. Stared at the handset. It stared back.Doubt teased me and failed. Manly instinct took over.Seconds to do the deed and might get caught.Off went imaginary gauntlets.Fuck it. Gambled and tested the code.Dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-BINGO! Phone unlocked. Nervously fumbled getting it to re-lock, nearly getting caught. My head beaded sweat.Heard her coming down the stairs. Washed my hands, for no apparent reason. She swiped the phone off the counter and headed outside. Was sure she’d seen my hands shaking.Felt immense pressure and salvation at the same time. The last time my body reacted that way was in 2nd grade. I’d been in a fight with Largus Ruffian and lost. The shaking, the humility; hands, legs and lips shaking.What if she changes the code? What if she knows I know the code? Have less hope and even less time. Hope is not a viable strategy.Next problem: Need the actual phone. Went for a drive to think. Manual transmission helps heal many things. Drove 87 Southbound towards San Antonio.Car accelerates, tail lights fade into a Spring rain.The predictable pattern continued: Lame-yet-plausible excuses, Mum comes home late drunk then passes out with her phone under a breast. What next?She’s snoring on the couch. The phone is 1/3 in plain sight.No more Medieval Knight, far too loud.My heart was beating 180 yet nerves calm.Think Indiana Jones. Raiders of the Lost Ark. The switch scene.Decision: Go fast and get out, risking abrupt noise or creep in and risk being caught by being slow? Like Indiana Jones, did a bit of both. She rolled at the last second and there it was. Plucked it from her and whooshed out.Had the phone! She’s dead asleep, snoring. The handset weighed heavy with secrets. Jules Winnfield came into mind.Made my way downstairs and hid in a closet. It was pitch black and was staring at the screensaver, hands frozen. Slid down to the floor.Stared at picture of our family- minus me.Took a huge breath. Tapped the code. Phone unlocked. Time for scary answers.The handset glowed with a golden light, toppled me into an endless emotional abyss, weightless, falling for hours.Every app held a new surprise. Texts from names of men I didn’t know, one in particular with a photo in the contact. Jim? Worse? It’s from the Jenny-evening-girls-night-out and she’s thanking some guy for a great time—again! Endless banter, and yes, the sex is good, she’s a basic needs type gal. Sex three times a week. More texts, pages and pages and pages…salacious as you might imagine. Three months worth.All of her friends knew, especially the women I don’t like. Missed clue, yet expected. Seems affairs have a peanut gallery, fanning the flames with encouragement. No risk, so why not? Cat-fished a few of her friends, they confirmed the BF.Live vicariously, let your friend burn.Spent the entire night taking pictures of her phone with mine—literally screenshots. Every email, every text, every picture, every ride-share record, every bank statement, every cash transaction. Searched “hidden” and voila, a new trove of treasure. Social media accounts, tinder profiles, more sexually explicit pictures shared. Details, every last one. Judged the men. Judged her.Got pictures of every text she sent me explaining her whereabouts. The headings are time and date stamped. It was easy putting together a matrix of where she actually was versus where she told me she was. Easy as pie.The phone went dead. 0% power. Everything I needed in hand.Tossed the phone on the kitchen counter, feeling no guilt, then semi-sulked to the marital bedroom. Took a Xanax. Didn’t sleep the rest of the night.My emotions swirled and my body stank. Took a shower and cried on the inside. Died in a way; a slow death. The betrayal was like a garrote.Before dawn left her and the house, driving towards town and went into a waking cafe. Over service pleasantries, quiche and a macchiatto, searched for a divorce attorney. Left my wedding ring on the table.Made an appointment, consulted for a few hours and found two useful pieces of information:Local divorce law required adultery to be proven by demonstrating an adulterous disposition and the opportunity for sexual intercourse. (penile insertion into vagina) Further, the paramour(s) must be named.If I can prove adultery, and divorce her, she is not entitled alimony.Had solid evidence for number 1. Number 2 came into play later.Back home, she woke with a splitting headache and without her electronic companion, her link to a fantasy world. She might have known I had it. Can’t imagine she’d suspect I was able to see the truth.Gave the new found attorney $8,000 USD to start my case. We went through the process in the coming weeks. Personally filed the case with the County clerk.Two days later, she was served. I hear through others she was completely shocked.Informed her I have damning evidence, absolute proof. She denied, denied, denied. She threatened a counter suit. It came a week later.In her divorce counter suit, she asked for $2,500 USD a week in alimony.Once her attorney received my entire discovery packet including the contents of her phone, the name, address and personal info of the paramours and all of the other lies, she withdrew her alimony request. She wanted to settle.The sweet started to sink in.Alimony would have been: (2,500 x 52 weeks) x 20 years =$2,600,000 USD. Two million, six hundred thousand.Nine months later, the divorce was final. Felt so good to be the victorious Plaintiff. Have not spoken to her since.It’s been awhile now. My adult children are ashamed of their Mum. I’ve moved on and enjoy the company of a wonderful woman. Life couldn’t be better. Got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.Still have $2,600,000 to spend on taking care of my new self. Maybe I’ll get the Porsche I’ve always wanted. Maybe the license plate will read: heralimny.Late edit: Most versions of alimony were already taken as vanity plates. Good for the people who were able to get them!Discovering her affairs was bitter. I was tested.In the end, sweet indeed.JLW

Legal ramifications? Not really. There’s a few things that can happen but in America’s family courts they very rarely get upset with the mom. She is allowed to lie and use any excuse she can think of to rationalize her bad behavior, the judge usually accepts them, tells her bad mom don’t do it again, and that’s it. A slap on the wrist in legal terms.But morally you will have a lot to answer too. The child is half this man, and there better be some good reasons. The mother in our case never told my husband about his potential child. Raised her with another man who sued to get off the birth certificate. We found out about the child when she was already 7, by a letter from the state. She came to us with over $10k in debt. We owed the mother back support for the time she withheld the child and also had to pay back the state for benefits paid. Nothing is more unfair to not only miss out on that time with your child but also to be made to paid for it.Add to that the immature and malicious mindset of the mom, and you have a toxic situation waiting to explode. It changed our entire lives, we are never the same again. A child has been irreparably harmed, her mother chose to tell her that her bio father abandoned her in the hospital. Please don’t do this to your own flesh and blood. The healthiest and safest life for a child, statistically speaking, is with shared parenting time. Fathers are far more invested and involved in their children’s lives when they are allowed to parent them equally. This has amazing benefits for the child’s life.The statistics on fatherlessness will make anyone’s blood boil. It becomes a societal issue here as these hurt children grow up to hurt others. Don’t be a part of that cycle. Minus abusive parents, assuming both are fit at first, they should agree to joint custody, as close to shared parenting time as they can work out, with no child support ordered. If he’s participating equally in the burdens and time of child rearing there is no need to support, he pays his own bills, you pay yours.So legally speaking, sadly, you have no obligation to inform a man about his obligations and responsibilities.But anytime that you file for government benefits, they will open a child support case They are required to make the father pay for his own offspring before the tax payers do.Here are two choices:Reveal his name to department of human services. They will attempt to locate him and send him the packet we got from Department of Justice child support division.Tell them you have no clue who the father could be. They’ll ask for potential suitors or who you slept with in the timeline of conception. Remain quiet. Legally you can do this- morally corrupt but that’s your cross to bear.With option 3a, you have opens the figurative can of worms. Once they reach him, he has 30 days to submit to a DNA test or simply accept he’s the father. Depending on how long it took the state to reach him, he will have a sum of back support owing. He has to immediately submit financials and start paying as well. Legally he is the father by assumed paternity and his only way out is if the child is not his. Then they do charge you for the DNA test. But I’ve never seen a mom actually be made to pay this. Then they proceed to the next guy until they find the father.Assuming you don’t hinder things by refusing a dna test, once both are done it’s 30–60 days of sitting on a tightrope waiting. He is legally obligated to pay child support at this time. They’ll have already sent garnishment letters to his boss. If he works in a small company sometimes he’s left explaining why he’s not a deadbeat. People rarely believe men when they tell them he had no idea he had a kid. She didn’t even tell him she was pregnant!!Now, he can and should file for parenting time and custody. He will probably fight for every other weekend and possibly reunification therapy. That’s for the best, having a qualified expert help assist the process. He is now your co-parent. The choice is all on you how you want to present this to the child and the world.Our birth mom decided she couldn’t deal with the “shame” (her words) of revealing she’d cheated on the original father and misled him to believe he was the only dad. She wanted it to remain that truth- he was the jerk who ran off on them, and that my husband would be content never telling anyone he was the actual father. He could be “uncle dad” (her words again).Then she had remarried also, so she wanted her current husband to be “dad”. The child had known him since was 4, nearly 3 years by then, and we didn’t want to sever thaT bond. We were fine with her still calling him dad. Who cares? More love is good. But the mother had seriously messed up mind set. Really she just wanted the child support and My husband to go away. She didn’t realize that once she filed for benefits it would mean possibly co-parenting. I mean, I don’t know how she couldn’t know that, but she acted like my husband was just some cash cow who donated sperm. She was upset he wanted to parent. Then that he won parenting time. Then that the child had the gall to enjoy spending time here. That was her biggest issue. That the child began to love dad, bonus mom, and her two sisters here.Just be careful here. This child is a life form all their own. There’s grandmas and aunts and uncles out there who will all be affected. Half siblings. Women like me who simply married a man and had babies. Only later to discover there was an older sister to my children living out in the world we didn’t know about. Missing out on all her first 7 years of firsts is still the hardest pill to swallow!!!For more on our story, you can read this answer, Amberle DeVore's answer to Men who have received a negative paternity test after the child was born. What's your story?STATISTICS - Just a few....63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 % of all children who show behavior disorder she has to have. come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Control)80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)Father Factor in Education - Fatherless children are twice as likersly for starteto drop out of school.Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse - Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.Father Factor in Crime - A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parentFather Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]79.6% of custodial mothers receive a support award29.9% of custodial fathers receive a support award.46.9% of non-custodial mothers totally default on support.26.9% of non-custodial fathers totally default on support.20.0% of non-custodial mothers pay support at some level61.0% of non-custodial fathers pay support at some level66.2% of single custodial mothers work less than full time.10.2% of single custodial fathers work less than full time.7.0% of single custodial mothers work more than 44 hours weekly.24.5% of single custodial fathers work more that 44 hours weekly.46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance.20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistanceCensus Fatherhood Statistics64.3 million: Estimated number of fathers across the nation26.5 million: Number of fathers who are part of married-couple families with their own children under the age of 18.Among these fathers -22 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old (among married-couple family households only).2 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.2.5 million: Number of single fathers, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 18 percent are men.Among these fathers -8 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old.42 percent are divorced, 38 percent have never married, 16 percent are separated and 4 percent are widowed. (The percentages of those divorced and never married are not significantly different from one another.)16 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.27 percent have an annual family income of $50,000 or more.85 percent: Among the 30.2 million fathers living with children younger than 18, the percentage who lived with their biological children only.11 percent lived with step-children4 percent with adopted children< 1 percent with foster childrenRecent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. This brief provides ten key lessons from several important early responsible fatherhood initiatives that were developed and implemented during the 1990s and early 2000s. Formal evaluations of these earlier fatherhood efforts have been completed making this an opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs’ successes andchallenges.While the following statistics are formidable, the Responsible Fatherhood research literature generally supports the claim that a loving and nurturing father improves outcomes for children, families and communities.Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father’s home.Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.From 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable.There is no question that children who grow up in fatherless homes have a much greater risk of major challenges in life than those who grow up with a father at home. These statistics are alarming and should give any father pause.Incarceration Rates. "Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families...those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant." (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration." Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.)Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source:What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? - see link below)Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? - see link below)High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? - see link below)Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56 (1991)Juvenile Detention Rates. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? - see link below)Confused Identities. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press, 1984).Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed "greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households." (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, "Household Family Structure and Children's Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children," Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995).Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990).Delinquency. Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services, April 1994).Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O'Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993

A jury trial or a trial by jury, is a lawful proceedings in which a jury makes a decision on the finding of facts. It is distinguished from a bench trial in which a judge or panel of judges makes all decisions.Jury trials are used in a significant share of serious criminal cases in many but not all common law judicial systems. The majority of common law jurisdictions in Asia (such as Singapore, Pakistan, India and Malaysia) have abolished jury trials on the grounds that the juries were susceptible to bias. Juries have also been incorporated into the legal systems of many civil law countries for criminal cases. United States makes routine use of jury trials in a wide variety of cases.The case which led to the abolition of Jury trials in India was the trial of Kawas Manekshaw Nanavati, a Commander in Indian Navy, under section 302, for murder of Prem Ahuja, his wife's lover. Commander K. M. Nanavati was declared not guilty by a jury trial, but the Sessions Judge who had tried the case found the “not guilty” verdict as perverse to the evidence and referred it to the Bombay High Court. A three judge bench consisting of Justices K. Subbarao, S. K. Das and Raghubar Dayal (bench presided by Justice Subbarao) dismissed the verdict and ordered a retrial of the case as a bench trial.This was not the last jury trial in India. West Bengal had jury trial as late as 1973. Jury trials were abolished in most Indian Courts by the 1973 Code of Criminal Procedure, except for Parsis who still have a jury trial for Matrimonial Disputes.But the Nanavati trial received unprecedented media coverage and inspired several books and movies such as the 1973 movie Achanak, and the 2016 movie Rustom. This trial also help establish the reputation of late Ram Jethmalani as a great lawyer in Criminal cases.Background of Case:K. M. Nanavati, a Parsi, was a Commander with the Indian Navy and had settled down in Bombay with Sylvia, his English born wife and their children, .two sons and a daughter.With Nanavati frequently away on assignments for long periods of time, Sylvia fell in love with Prem Bhagwan Ahuja, a Sindhi businessman and friend of the Nanavatis.In her testimony in the court Prem's sister Mamie Ahuja stated that Prem had agreed to marry Sylvia, provided she divorced her husband.Mamie Ahuja's testimony was, however, contradicted by the letters written by Sylvia (admitted as Sylvia's testimony), where she expressed her desire to divorce Nanavati and marry Prem, but she doubted his intentions. In a letter she wrote, “ Last night when you spoke of marrying me and various other girls, something inside me snapped and I knew I could not bear the thought of your loving someone else”.On November 1, Nanavati returned home from one of his assignments and found Sylvia aloof and distant, he questioned her. Sylvia confessed her affair with Prem Ahuja. Nanavati dropped his family at a movie theatre for a show he had promised to take them to, but excused himself and headed straight to confront Prem Ahuja.When Sylvia was asked in the court, why she went to the theatre, leaving her agitated husband behind, she answered, “ I was upset myself and I did not think clearly then. I was not indifferent to my husband killing himself. It is difficult to explain such things to children, so I went to the cinema”.Nanavati went to the naval base, collected his pistol on a false pretext from the stores along with six bullets, completing his official duties and proceeded to Prem Ahuja's office. On not finding him there, he went to Ahuja's flat and found him there.There was a verbal confrontation between the two men. According to Nanavati's account related in the court, he had asked Ahuja whether the latter intended to marry Sylvia and accept their their children. After Prem replied in the negative, three shots were fired and Prem Ahuja dropped dead.Nanavati headed straight to confess to the Provost Marshal of the Western Naval Command and on his advice turned himself over to the Deputy Commissioner of Police.Jury TrialThe crux of the case was whether Nanavati shot Ahuja in the “heat of the moment” or whether it was a premeditated murder. In the former scenario Nanavati would have been charged for culpable homicide not amounting to murder, we with a maximum punishment of 10 years.In the latter scenario (ie premeditated murder), Nanavati would be charged with murder, with the sentence being death or life sentence.Nanavati pleaded not guilty and his defence team (cream of the legal profession in Bombay at that time were Parsis we A They still dominate the profession and are very respected for their legal acumen), and his legal team argued it as a culpable homicide, while the prosecution argued that it was premeditated murder.The jury 8 to 1 found Nanavati not guilty under section 302. Mr. Ratilal Bhaichand Mehta, the Sessions Judge, who tried the case considered the verdict perverse and referred the case to the Bombay High Court.The prosecution argued that the trial judge had not properly directed the jury to the legal points involved.The onus of proving that it was an accident and not premeditated murder was on NanavatiWas Sylvia's confession grave provocation for Nanavati or any specific incident in Ahuja's bed room or both?The judge wrongly told the jury that the provocation can also come from a third personThe jury was not instructed that Nanavati's defence had to be proved to the extent that there is no reasonable doubt in the mind of a reasonable person.The court accepted the arguments, dismissed the jury's verdict and the case was freshly heard in the High Court. It was claimed that jury had been influenced by the media and was open to being misled.It was this trial which led to the abolition of Jury trial ultimately.During the trial in the High Court, the defence put their version of the incident. When Nanavati met Prem Ahuja at the latter's bedroom, Prem had just come out of the bath dressed only in a white towel; an angry Nanavati swore at Prem and proceeded to ask him if he intended to marry Sylvia and look after his children. Prem replied, “ Will I marry every woman I sleep with?, which further enraged Nanavati. Seeing Nanavati going for the gun, enclosed in a brown packet, Prem too went for it and in the ensuing scuffle, Prem's hand caused the gun to go off and instantly killed himProsecution VersionThe towel that Ahuja was wearing was intact on his body and had neither loosened nor fallen off. In case of a scuffle it is highly improbable that the towel would stay intact.After Sylvia's confession, a calm and collected Nanavati dropped his family to the theatre, drove to the naval base and according to log had procured the gun and the rounds under a false pretext. This indicated that the provocation was neither grave nor sudden and that Nanavati had the murder planned. Ahuja's servant had testified that four shots were fired in quick succession and the entire incident was over under a minute to occur, thus ruling out scuffle. Nanavati had walked out of the flat without explaining to Mamie Ahuja, present in another room in the flat, that it was an accident. He then unloaded the gun and went first to the Provost Marshal and then to the police to confess his crime, thus ruling out being dazed. The deputy commissioner of police testified that Nanavati confessed that he had shot dead Ahuja and even corrected the misspelling of his name in the police court.The High Court agreed with the prosecution's argument that the murder was premeditated and sentenced Nanavati to life imprisonment for culpable homicide amounting to murder. On 24 November 1961, the Supreme Court upheld the conviction.Nanavati had worked as Defence Attache to V. K. Krishna Menon while the latter was High Commissioner of India in UK. He had also grown close to the Nehru during that period.Nanavati's trial had put the Paris, a very influential community in Bombay and the Sindhis against each other.Nanavati spent 3 years in prison. It was feared that a pardon for him could elicit an angry reaction from the Sindhi community to which the Ahujas belonged. At this time the Government received an application for pardon from Bhai Pratap, a Sindhi businessman who had been convicted of misusing an important licence. Bhai Pratap was also a freedom fighter. The government was inclined to pardon Bhai Pratap. Finally an application to pardon Nanavati was obtained from Mamie Ahuja. She gave her assent for his pardon in writing. Mrs Vijayalakshmi Pandit, then Governor of Maharashtra on the same day.After his release from prison the Nanavati, his wife Sylvia and their three children emigrated to Canada and settled in Toronto. Nanavati died on 24 July 2003.How is Ram Jethmalani connected with this trial? Mamie Ahuja knew that her brother had been killed in a premeditated murder had retained Ram Jethmalani, to see that prosecution does not become lax in its efforts to secure conviction for premeditated murder.It was Ram Jethmalani who brought the fact that towel on Prem Ahuja's body had not come-off or even loosened in the scuffle. This effectively killed the scuffle story. And Ram Jethmalani got a big boost to his reputation as a lawyer for criminal trials.Why did I write a very detailed answer to the question. I was motivated to set the record straight after reading an answer where Nehru was criticised for doing away the jury trial.