Blue Canoe Apartments: Fill & Download for Free

Hahaha-yes we do; “dumb jarheads.” We also rag on the Navy, “Chairforce,” and what’s the other one? “The Boy Scouts of America!” No wait, that's not it… Oh yes, the “Coastguard!”-sorry. However, let me provide a disclaimer: If a person has never “served,” then it behooves them not to think that they can call any of the service branches colorful names; we are a dysfunctional family and we respect our own, regardless of what shit we sling, and frankly, most of us remember a time when another saved our asses-you don't.The Navy: How do I even start? The Navy is like your stupid older brother; good dude with a lot of money, yet dumb as a stop sign. He is a party animal who will fight as needed, but also kinda booksmart (when not drunk.) The thing is though, he also wears skinny jeans and a “man purse” off-duty …and worse, a white uniform to battle: the damn Navy. They are all pretty much gay, but not totally: sporting all the charisma of “fabulousness,”and the bravery (and liver) of a typical jock. With regards to “warrior” fashion-sense though, they are nitwits. However, outside their atrocious clothes, that's your dude for partying and, like I said, they are not bad brawlers either.Chairforce; our delicate pretty sister who does not believe in war, (…nor hunting, nor gardening, nor making their own bed in the morning.) Basically, anything involving dirt, or the potential of breaking a fingernail, consists of “sub-standard living conditions.” They love “Whole foods” and “Starbucks”: “cage-free” eggs and ”Trenta” unsweetened green teas. They probably have no idea what the pointy, dusty, weird-shaped metal “sticks” in the “armory” are there for-I think they have an armory. But, they can kill video games …becuz, we are shmarter: thing is, they are so good at video games that they get a uniform and call “gaming” “deployment.”Then there's “America's sweetheart.”-The Few, The Dumb, The Marines: Imagine having a sibling you are older than, but not by much, you love this kid, but good God he's a moron. If Johnny Knoxville was in the military and brave …and loved unnecessarily heavy, heavy-metal music, he definitely would be a marine.They are not booksmart either, like the regular Navy, even though they can definitely fight. They don't care about deplorable conditions; in fact, that is their claim to fame - everything terrible is tougher: Tougher is better: Marines are better, Oorah!!! Go figure - take a couple of brave buffoons and convince them that using old crap and living in sucky conditions is an ultimate honor; that banging chests together for motivation and rushing off head-first into every altercation in sight (for less pay and no bonuses) is even better, and you got our siblings the “Jarheads.” You can identify them by the chip on their shoulder, and if they cant help smiling when you call them “devil-dawg.”The coast guard: To be honest, the above image is just there for politeness - we’re still trying to figure out if the Coastguard actually exists, and what they do apart from show up for free food at “Applebee's” on veterans day. Yet, every now and then some drunk gets a DUI on a boat from dudes that looked like UPS package-handlers in blue overalls. The drunk I know, claims that a heavily-armored canoe patrols the creek in his backyard which, he found out, is considered international waters. Its intriguing, but then again, the same drunk has also told me about spotting mermaids and pirates so who knows. So yea, the coast-guard are not even really a sibling per se; they are more like the weird neighbor kid that you've only ever seen in the window (… and Applebee's on vets day.)The Army: The largest and most esteemed branch of the United States military, full of strong men and women who fight for this country and refrain from questionable behavior. The US Army is the shining-star sibling. Operating with dignity and poise; comforting our Chairforce when fireworks go off; convincing our Marines to read a book every once in a while; giving the Navy our old camouflage uniforms so that they don't dirty their white clothes while they drink; all while trying to find the Coastguard. The army represents responsibility and steadfastness and is a huge credit to the nation.Footnote: This piece was written based on true facts, and without bias to any of the Armed Services.Again, if you are a not a veteran or active, or ever swore to defend this country, then Airforce, Navy, Marines, Army, Coastguard - that's all you are allowed to say … or get stomped.

Its very simplea) They are all part of the British Armed Forcesb) The Royal Air Force operate 9 to 5 Tuesdays to Thursdays (cant let operations interfere with the weekend), they were blue-grey uniforms, usually look pretty scruffy and all have slicked back hair, they are the proud operators of a magnificent fleet of Tiger Moth Biplanes that they polish twice a year (whether it needs it or not)c) The Royal Navy are the custodians of Her Britannic Majesties finest War Canoes, they will go anywhere in the world apart from wet bits deeper than 12 feet, wear dark blue suits that are soooo 1960’s with the flares, and all have accents like piratesd) The Army is a fine upstanding bunch of cheerful chappies who wear a rather fetching and on trend camouflage ensemble, they spend their time enjoying camping under the stars and practice twice a day with their longbowsClear?

When I was 19, I went on a drug rehab canoe trip in Florida with 12 other guys I'd never met before in my life. We canoed 320 miles in 30 days and ended up in the Gulf of Mexico.During the trip, we had a 3 day solo event. Each of us was given a tent and a small ration of food, and we spent 3 days by ourselves, separated from each other, no one in sight.During those 3 days, I came to the deep realization that nothing in my life was going to change unless I made it change. I was having a lot of issues with my parents. I was socially awkward and extraordinarily self-conscious. I used drugs to cope and in all honesty I had every intention of using again the moment I got home.But those 3 days really showed me something about myself and the rest of us here on earth trying to figure ourselves out. I realized that I was in complete control of my reality, and anything I was struggling with was my own doing.As soon as I got back, I wanted to begin anew. I made a few mistakes—the first day I returned back to college, I hopped in my buddy's car and we immediately got high. But after a few weeks I knew that I was going to fall down the same path if I didn't stop myself.I'll never forget that night. Seven of my best friends and I, all at one apartment. They'd just bought a vaporizer and were going to try it out for the first time. I have nothing against weed, but the way I was smoking wasn't recreational—I was high every day, non stop.They invited me into the next room to smoke with them, and I remember sitting there waiting for the vape to get passed to me, feeling this monumental conflict within myself. I wanted to get high, but I didn't want to keep walking down the same path.Furious, I bolted out of the room. I was angry because I felt like I was denying myself my escape. I was upset because I felt like I was somehow offending my friends. And I was worried of what they would think. They of course called after me, "Come on, Cole! Just one hit!" I closed the door.I had just recently taken an interested in lyrical writing and rap, so I went to my backpack, grabbed my iPod and my notebook, and pulled up an instrumental my friend had sent me a few days prior. It was called White Flower.At my friend's kitchen table, I proceeded to write this:White FlowerBorn alone, I’ve got an ear for the notesbut I keep it clear, so I know which direction to gowhen I grow old.What? I guess I’m just an old soul.Lost on a road, trying to find my way home.See it’s the times, that I read the signstelling me I’ll be fine, that I cry.I wish I could tell the other guys and maybe save a life.But man, it just ain’t right.Can’t give away the secret to life,unless they see inside.It’s in the mindthat takes the time to bea flower in the concrete.See the secrets in the treesYeah, I hear them speak.I let the breeze blow me away.Take a trip to a safer place.Somewhere it doesn’t rain.When I paint, I use the colors others disregard.So many things I want to say man, but where to start?Yeah it’s hard but it’s the struggle that we’re meant to face.Just because your late, doesn’t mean you’ll never get to change.I escape into ivory keys.Play Sonatas inbetween her knees;been playin’ since I was 3.So watchu think that means?Gettin’ you to scream is pretty easy with fingers like these.She's saying PLEASE but it's my time to leave her place tonight.I tell her twice, she wants to fight.Thank God for moonlight.I need the bright vibes; they help me stay alive –and when it’s gettin’ tight, yeah they open up my mind.I keep to myself, but it’s hard for me to keep a secret.Do you believe it?It’s up for you to see it.If you speak it then you feel it;you deal it around.It’s like a flower in the groundit’s energetically loud.Look at what I found – it’s a drug.When I blow it out it’s in clouds.It isn’t Bud. It’s love.And you can’t have enough.Oh, you want a blunt?Here man, take a puff.But when you’re feelin’ roughyou’re gonna need the stronger stuff.You want a rush?I’ve got the perfect thing for you.Live your life as if you’ve got something to prove.And when you lose?That’s when you’ll say you’re abused;Pay your dues. Here’s a clue:You get to choose whether you win or lose.It’s up to You.These blue skies got me thinkin’ bout the other side.I wonder what it’s like.This is why I like to write.And all the other guys I find just want a couple billsto buy a couple pills.Hah – just got a double kill.It’s like you’re scared man.Life isn’t fair and you’ve got a plan –stay as far away as you can.How’s life in the sand?You’re slowin’ down you need a hand?I’ve got a planbut you’re gonna need to trust me Man.We ain’t about to crash, we’re landing in the safest place.Within a couple days, you’ll think you heard amazing grace.It isn’t fake, all it takes is just a little faith.It’s like I’m blazin’ thru the days, but I’m bout to fly away.----Over the next year, I proceeded to write and record an entire mixtape called "Writer's Block." I've been sober ever since.