English For Speakers Of Other Languages. Dropout Study Report (Final: Fill & Download for Free

Wow! What a question and equally interesting answers and comments! Multitude of issues and topics intertwined together! For example, marriage, girls, Brahmins, caste, tribe, reservations etc.Be forewarned this is going to be a really long ass answer as the question absolutely warrants it, in my opinion. So only go ahead if you have some time to spare or just bookmark it and come back to it later at your own convenience.First off, I don't know with what intention the question has been asked really. Is this some guy actually trying to know if he has a chance with some Brahmin girl he likes or has it been asked purely from an academic interest by an Indian or an international observer to gauge the direction in which Indian society is headed.The generalisation SC/ST is too broad. There are thousands of castes within the Scheduled Castes and hundreds of tribes within the Scheduled Tribes. I am not even sure if SC and ST should be clubbed together for a personal topic like marriage since, they are fundamentally different and are clubbed together only for legal purposes under the constitution.Some castes and tribes have progressed better than their counterparts in certain regions and there’s seemingly no difference between them and other people in these regions anymore, it can even be argued if such differences existed even initially, at the first place, when the schedules were created at the time of independence. There was an educated elite even then, within these communities, but of course, they were a tiny minority.So, are Brahmin girls ready to marry SC/ST guys? Maybe yes, maybe no. Depends on the guy, depends on the girl. Whether to marry at all or not in itself is such a highly personal choice, and whom to marry is a personal choice of another level altogether.I also don't like the objectification of Brahmin girls here as if they are some sort of a commodity. But, at the same time, I understand what the question is alluding to. Basically, are people ready to look beyond caste differences when it comes to marriage? I would again say it depends. People with similar values tend to be together, and people with dissimilar values tend to fall apart sooner or later.Some of the criticisms of this question are quite legitimate. Like, seriously, why are people generally so desperate for approval and validation? Is your life destroyed and devoid of meaning if some Brahmin or other girl/guy refuses to marry you? Have some self-respect. Get meaning and purpose in your life beyond these things, maybe in your career, maybe in some passion and see how magically people would want to be associated with you, because that’s what’s attractive, not some caste/tribe.Now, I guess, I have to mention that I actually belong to a Scheduled Tribe, the Pardhans, a tribe closely related to the Gonds. We were traditional musicians and bards to the Gond tribe, keeping their family history and traditions alive through oral and musical tradition. There are also legends that we actually were Prime Ministers back when the Gonds kings were in power in Central India. In Maharashtra, we are mostly concentrated in the eastern, Vidarbha region. Intermarriages have been happening since the royal kings’ times and who knows even before that. Rani Durgavati, the Rajput queen married to the Gond king of Gondwana, is just one of the most famous examples. Adivasis have never acknowledged Brahmin or any other mainstream caste Hindu dominance.Although, I can’t personally claim any royal lineage, I have had people in my extended family/relatives with many such examples going both ways. In fact, a few dating back to my parents’ and grandparents’ generation. My mom’s aunt, who was an octogenarian and passed away a few years ago was Brahmin. Conversely, one of my aunts married a Brahmin man in the early 90′s. Another incident is more recent, my cousin and his wife who is a Brahmin, they got married in the mid 2000’s. All these are love marriages, obviously, and admittedly they did not take place without opposition or backlash but anger fades as time passes by.One thing to be noted here is there were certain qualities and values coupled with attraction which brought all these people together. My mom’s aunt, about whom, I admittedly know very little took the step because she loved her husband’s (a government employee) simplicity and values.My aunt, whose husband is Brahmin, was actually an incredibly beautiful young lady in her youth along with being a state level player in a sport and her husband was really very poor at the time (compared to his Adivasi father in law who was a government officer) but, they have done excellently for themselves over the years personally, professionally, financially, in every way.By the way, another aunt of mine married an Orthodox Christian man (he is a wonderful person, really) from Kerala back in the early 90’s, happily married all these years.Yeah guys, there can be good looking people amongst tribal communities too as there can be poor Brahmins too, the stereotyping needs to stop, I have seen all kinds people in all communities, in my family there are people who look like Persians and then there are people who have somewhat African features (beautiful in their own unique way, in my opinion) and most look typically Indian. If only I had a dollar every time I have been told,”But, you don’t look like you belong to ST category”. I don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult. In my mind, I am like,“Oh, but I am from ST category, 100% pure Adivasi from both mom and dad’s side.” Along with genetics, looks are largely a matter of standard of living which affects nutrition, environment, hygiene contributing to ‘good looks’, which again are a highly subjective matter and it truly lies in the eyes of the beholder. Actually, genes mutate faster than we previously expected and express themselves in varying ways depending upon the context. There’s an entire field of research regarding this which is called, ‘Epigenetics’, go read about it. Some people on here speak about genetics as though they have never been to school at all, it’s very basic Class 8 biology.The third example, that of my cousin and his Brahmin wife, well, the guy is just intellectually gifted, born genius types (merit really has no caste/tribe guys, a genius can be born in any caste/tribe, many people in my family are examples of this, it’s nature and nurture both, I have noticeably seen some incredibly intellectually gifted guys/girls amongst the SC’s too), stood in the merit list all throughout his academic life, went to IIT in the mid-90’s. Went off to the US during the dot com boom in the late 90’s and settled there along with his wife, both their kids are US citizens now obviously. How they met and got married is total, typical masala Bollywood stuff of the 90’s. They were neighbours and hence, childhood friends which grew into love later on.Another cousin of mine (female) married a Kshatriya guy in the mid-2000’s. They are happily married since then. He is a businessman and my cousin is an engineer and has obtained her Ph.D in the last few years. Another cousin (male), NIT grad, married outside the tribe a decade ago, they are both happily settled in North America now.Beyond my relatives, I know of examples of family friends, a lady from our tribe (good looking and educated) married a Brahmin man back in the early 90’s, again they are very happily married. One more girl from our tribe (again, she is very pretty) married a Teli man (OBC in Maharashtra, Marathi people will understand) about a decade ago, they are happy in their marriage too, the girl’s father told us that her in-laws are very good people and that she is happy. Very recently, I got to know, through the internet that a girl of our tribe from Chattisgarh (NIT-IIM grad) is very successful in her career, settled in the US for her career and then married an American man. God bless her, she is an inspiration for me too. So you see, things are even going international now.Then there are other marriages in the family, be it in any generation, which are arranged and within the tribe. Not because people are forced to do so, but because they choose to do so. Marriage as I said, is a highly personal choice, and one can’t tell people whom to marry either ways. We can’t possibly hold Brahmins or any other community in contempt just because they choose to marry in their own community. It’s an individual, personal choice after all. There used to be opposition and backlash for love marriages back in the day, but now, it’s increasingly more acceptable. Although, we are really lucky that everyone in this part of the country is sophisticated enough to settle issues amicably, peacefully. Unlike, what I hear in states like Haryana, honour killings and all. The opposition and backlash here was just mostly verbal in nature, but people do come around eventually.So, what do we see here? What are the common denominators? This has all been possible through a combination of qualities and values, such as intelligence, good looks, hard work, attitude, and I think, most importantly, high levels of education and urbanisation.Many people on here talk about how the Brahmins have a rigid lifestyle etc. and that’s indeed true but then I have also found them to be incredibly broad minded people who accept change and adapt to changing times (at least, in Maharashtra) and we as a community, I think, are no different either, we are the same, liberal, broad minded and receptive to changing times and I think, that's where the chord struck! Similar progressive values!All the people I talked about, the men who have Brahmin wives, were of impeccable character and intelligence, who’d never lie, cheat or did not have addictions such as smoking, drinking etc. They all had great integrity and an upright character. Sure, there are differences like, we are quite fond of meat and the Brahmins obviously are vegetarians (not without exceptions these days, haha :-D and also traditionally like Saraswat Brahmins, for example, who eat fish. See? Even Brahmins can’t be generalised as a homogenous group!) but then such differences are tiny and can be/are tolerated and people adjust to each other without imposing their beliefs onto one another. Marriage is about accepting each other and loving each other unconditionally, after all.Maybe it helps that the tribals weren’t/aren’t stigmatised and have never been considered impure, Adivasis themselves don’t have any stigma associated with their identity and have never acknowledged external hegemony over them, in fact, it’s a matter of pride to be an indigenous Indian, which probably makes things easier, I don’t deny. Probably, the fact that there were Adivasi kings in Central India and cities like Nagpur, Chandrapur etc. were actually founded by Adivasis helps, I don’t deny that either. This backdrop, rich historical background, heritage certainly helps in building a self-esteem and aids upward mobility.At least in urban areas, we have admittedly become totally assimilated into the mainstream society and there’s a growing middle class that has become highly Hinduised/Sanskritised, so much so that the only thing that remains tribal in us is our surname. Otherwise, we are like any other typical Indian Hindu Marathi middle class family. Whether that is fortunate or unfortunate is an ongoing debate in my mind, since, there are aspects to the Adivasi culture which were very progressive and should have been preserved.(For example, rich traditions in music, dance, poetry, language, astronomy, even technological breakthroughs like complex irrigation systems built by the king of Chanda/Chandrapur, equal status given to women, overall egalitarian nature of society, absence of caste or untouchability in these societies etc. All this information is freely available on the internet, if only people would care to read.)But then, there are aspects to that culture, which in my personal opinion, should have been and has been (my family/ relatives and the countless families forming the urban Adivasi middle class are a testament to that) done away with. For example, superstitious beliefs, over indulgence in organic alcohol, lack of scientific thinking and beliefs etc.I think people in Maharashtra are generally very broad minded too, probably because of the reformist saints (Sant Tukaram, Dnyaneshwar, Eknath, Ramdas Swami etc. and countless others because of which Maharashtra is called ‘Land of Saints’) and their social reform movements in the medieval period because of which society here is liberal, broad minded and progressive. Even later, Shahu Maharaj, Mahatma Phule, Dr. Ambedkar etc. all being Maharashtrians has had a trickle down effect on the culture here compared to northern states especially, I think. So, there you go, there are can be variations to answers to this question statewise too! Just can’t generalise, there can be no single answer to this question for entire India! What a diverse country we have, seriously!There is so much rigidity in mindsets that I see in other people, as is evident from some of the answers here too, especially in people of UP. Sorry to point out guys, but seriously, I have never seen a more caste conscious people elsewhere although some of my good friends are from UP too.Now the underbelly, the constant harassment and belittling we have to face because of this reservation system related problems, and how conveniently everyone reduces every problem, whether it be caste based discrimination or inter-caste marriage to reservation. Seriously, it’s shameful! Educated people ought to know better! Just run a google search over how the majority of the ST’s are living! If nothing, watch the movie ‘Newton’ starring Rajkumar Rao, it was India’s official entry to the Oscars that year. Just look at what the plight of people is like.It was only after the advent of the internet that I came to know of this ‘Incompetent category people’ stereotype. Because, until then, I was aware of only the exact opposite. As mentioned before, I have so many cousins who went to IIT/NIT and settled abroad, one of my uncles was actually a gold medallist in medical college and is now one of the most sough after cardiologists. I know how my father got himself out of poverty and was actually the most competent, talented and honest officer in his office and how all other caste people were so blatantly corrupt and incompetent. In fact, the most corrupt official was a Brahmin, who had no fear of anyone because he had political connections. Sorry to point this out guys, I know majority of you guys are awesome. But, I just wanna drive home the fact that there are all kinds of people in all communities and stereotyping doesn't help at all.I know how much I have worked hard, how much we struggled as a family financially and otherwise too, I know how I would refrain and make excuses to keep my friends away and not let them visit our house despite being the top student in class, because our house was small and in a not so good locality, we know how much my sister was bullied in her teenage by her Brahmin female friends group in their elite school, and yet we were always taught to look at everyone humanely, to be grateful for what we have. Growing up we were always taught to give our absolute best in whatever we do, owing to which I was an excellent student throughout school and made it to an NIT. We were taught that it’s ‘bad manners’ to ask people about their caste and to speak or proclaim it publicly. But then, it was absolutely mind boggling for me to find out how, come teenage, everyone started asserting their caste identity with a sense of superiority and started shoving it in other peoples’ faces everywhere, even on social media. Proud assertions, Facebook pages and groups like ‘Proud to be Brahmin’, ‘Proud to be Rajput’, ‘Nagpur Brahmins’ etc. In my first year of college, I couldn't scroll down my Facebook newsfeed without every alternate post being an anti-reservation post where the category guys must be shown as villains.Now, I had enough fortitude to face it all and I also had enough examples in my family for me to refute all negative stereotypes in my mind immediately, a psychological firewall of sorts. But imagine the plight of some poor guy who doesn't have these examples in front of him. He browses the internet, Quora , Facebook, everywhere and sees his community being demonised everywhere. What happens to this young, impressionable mind? He is actually gonna start believing he is incompetent even before he gets a chance to explore and manifest his potential! He’ll start internalising all the negative attributes that are being thrown at him. There's an official term for this in psychology and behavioural science called ‘Stereotype Threat’, go read about it. Studies have actually been conducted on this, how it affects academic performance adversely creating a vicious cycle. This is the exact kind of thing which actually defeats the very purpose reservation!Owing to Indian cyberspace being mostly dominated by upper castes, it’s very easy for vulnerable people to get drowned under a negative impression of themselves and it can have even fatal consequences. Even this has been officially researched upon, just google ‘caste dynamics or caste in Indian cyberspace’ or some such thing. Everything is available on the internet. You just gotta open up your mind to an opposing point of view, have some empathy. There's so much ignorance or just plain arrogance and ego on here regarding these topics. It can be total torture!It’s for this reason people don’t come out in the open and proclaim that they belong to certain categories. My cousins, for example, never speak about caste/tribe/reservation at all. For them, it’s a clear no go zone. Successful category people seldom show off their caste/tribes. That’s why the general impression is such that category people are incompetent. Only negative examples in categories are highlighted, positive examples don’t get highlighted since they won’t come forward themselves solidifying this negative impression.Now there are top writers on Quora, who owe their fame to writing about cutoffs of categories at IIM’s. Stupid people don’t realise, some of their bosses that they report to on a daily basis, working at the top most companies might be SC/ST. How do I know this? I personally know some of these hotshot SC/ST guys who work at some of the top most firms world over!And then there’s this stereotype of reservation not reaching the actual ones who need it! It is absolutely reaching the actual needy ones! How do you think I am writing this treatise in such fluent English when none of my parents are English speakers, and my first language was Marathi until class 10! I did not go to any fancy CBSE, ICSE, IB school. Went to a government aided school with Marathi as my first language, not because I wasn't intelligent enough to study at CBSE schools, but because my parents could not afford sending both their kids to English medium school. So I took the hit for my elder sister who was deemed more deserving as she was a far better student than me back then. You want to compare cutoffs? First of all tell me how many ST kids study at DPS RK Puram and Don Bosco, then talk to me! Reservation is meant for proportional representation and in this aspect, I think, it’s working a 100%! You can argue against a system all you like, but please use cogent, logical arguments. Don’t resort to cheap character assassination tactics.Oh, and the stereotype of SC/ST people not joining the army or there being no reservations in the army! LOL! ROFL! Entire regiments in the army are borne out of caste affiliations! Rajput Regiment, Jat Regiment, Dogra Regiment etc. The Supreme Court enquired the army about this and response was along the lines of, “Caste affiliations end up being huge morale booster in battle!”. LOL.Just google it! The level of ignorance people have on here! Amazing! There are SC/ST regiments too. Mahar Regiment, Naga Regiment etc. There were SC’s in British Indian army too, Dr. Ambedkar’s dad is an example. Bhima Koregaon controversy is primarily rooted in this, in fact.Caste is a reality of the social structure, the social fabric of the subcontinent, which as a logical extension makes certain people prone to discrimination, warranting safeguards such as caste based reservations.The tribals have always had a martial tradition. How do you think they formed their own organised kingdoms in the medieval period? Even now, (I hate to do this Rajdeep Sardesai style Saraswat pride gimmick, but what option have my fellow quorans left me with?) don’t forget, among all the Jawans martyred in Uri attacks, two were from the same community as mine. It’s an insult to these martyrs’ supreme sacrifice for the nation, if the entire community they belonged to is being vilified. SHAME! Similar is the case with some of the Pulwama martyrs who obviously belong to ST category, young Indians insulting the supreme sacrifice of their soldiers! SHAME! These are just well known instances, there are countless such instances wherein SC/ST people have laid down their lives for the country not just now, but even during the independence struggle. Google about tribal rebellions against the British.Oh and the stereotype of SC/ST students not doing well once inside IIT/NIT. When I graduated from an NIT, the highest package was 39 LPA. Only two students got this package. Guess what, both were females (another stereotype busted here, that girls can’t do well in STEM fields) and guess what, one of these two girls was SC. I know another SC senior girl who went to IIT and then later MS in Switzerland, I know so many such examples of SC/ST guys/girls pursuing MS abroad from top universities and working in top companies abroad. One of my ST friends was selected in campus placements for a French investment bank. I have already delineated about some of my relatives’/cousins’ careers.I don’t deny there are underperformers/dropouts from SC/ST categories, but must we paint all with the same brush? I have seen Brahmin guys dropping out too, owing to immense pressure and personal problems. Should I conclude all Brahmins are like that? Should I conclude all Brahmins are unscrupulous/corrupt because my dad’s Brahmin boss was corrupt? Because Vijay Mallya, Lalit Modi are corrupt? Should I conclude all Brahmin girls are mean bullies because my sister was bullied by them when she was in High School?Moral of the Story: Do not generalise or stereotype. There are all kinds of people in all communities in every way. Generalisations are for intellectually lazy people, who don’t want to make the effort to look into details, find the root cause/source of the problem and pay attention to nuances. Truth is always nuanced, always in the middle, never in the extremes. Bell curve! LOL!As for me, I am in my 20’s, happy and busy with my career after graduating from NIT, play my guitar, like to cook, have never had drinks or cigarettes etc.(not saying people who do are wrong, but just stating a personal preference) but don’t actually believe in the institution of marriage, so unfortunately won’t be looking for girls to marry, Brahmin or otherwise.Lol. My very first teenage phase girlfriend was Brahmin though, she was very sweet, we have still kept in touch as friends. Second one, non-Brahmin upper caste girl, but she soon went abroad after college, so that’s that. I have never sought exclusively upper caste girlfriends guys, it just happens so that my social circle has always been like that. In the future, if I change my mind about marriage, I’ll be very happy to settle down with someone from my community in the arranged marriage way. But, I’ll leave that to the future I guess, love or arranged marriage, you have to work on your marriage, that’s for sure.God, I have never thought, written, about caste so much! The things this kind of a quora ecosystem can make you do!There’s another answer on here to the same question, probably from someone as the same community as mine, and that answer actually galvanised me to write this. So, thank you, friend.Final note: We will overcome all these challenges as a nation soon guys, it's just a matter of time. We shall overcome. Jai Hind.