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PDF Editor FAQ
What is the procedure to get married without parents' consent?
It depends greatly on which country and culture you live in. For me all I have to do is ask the girl and fill in some paper work, no parents involved.
When allowing for a collateral in a therapy session, would you ever allow a minor to participate as collateral without minor's parent's consent?
I did it, once. Only once.I’d been seeing Brian for a few weeks. He was 26, a lawyer. No major issues — he was trying to figure out what to do with his life now that he was a new Member of the Bar. It was the classical battle of youth — altruism vs. avarice. His parents, both lawyers, were pushing the avarice part. “Son, if you make your mark now, get on a partner track as soon as possible, put aside a fat nest egg, then you’ll be a lot more use to pro bono defendants or all the various causes. You can really do both!”Brian pointed out that both parents had taken the “success track,” and at this late date still hadn’t gotten around to the altruism department. They argued, listing all their charitable contributions.My impression was that Brian, who liked to say “Obama started as a poor community organizer,” really wanted to get on the altruism track.One day when I went to get him in the waiting room he was sitting with a thin, well-dressed woman. “David,” he said, “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Carol. I want her to sit in on our session today.”I said OK, asked if he’d come in while Carol filled out some forms I used for therapy collaterals — the usual stuff — and then when she was finished, to come knock on the door. He and I talked for a few minutes about what he hoped to achieve by having Carol join in. She knocked, I brought her in, asked if she had any questions about the forms, and hit the high points in about 60 seconds.About halfway into the session, Carol said something that began with “I’m going to be 18 next month.” I have no recollection of the rest. I remember deciding not to freak out, to finish the session and write it up carefully, acknowledging my mistake in such a way that it was clear she came to no harm.Just before ending, I said to Carol “By the way, I didn’t realize you weren’t quite 18. Technically should have gotten parental consent before having you in. Do you think your parents would object to you coming with Brian?”Carol said “no, its only my mom, and she knew I was coming with Brian today, no problem.” From there it was easy to get the mom to sign on, after the fact.I don’t remember how many times Carol came after that. I do remember the relationship ended amicably.I never made the mistake of not checking a client’s age again, no matter how old they looked.
British Culture: What things can you do in the UK that you cannot in the USA?
Here are a few nobody has mentioned yet:Expect to own a front-loading washing machine, which you can pick up second hand for as little as £20, and not have seen a top-loading washing machine since the 1960s.Not have air conditioning, because if you did have it you would only need it for two weeks a year and it isn't worth the bother.Marry at 16 (with parental consent in England and Wales, without it in Scotland). There are restrictions which say that a person in authority, such as a teacher, cannot have sex with a person who is under their authority and is 16 or 17 unless they marry them first, but other than that the age of sexual consent is 17 in Northern Ireland and 16 everywhere else. You can own your own flat and live wholly independently from the age of 16, although if you are under 17 and deemed to be in moral danger (i.e. a prostitute or addict) you can be sent back to your parents or into care until you turn 17. At 18 you are fully adult and can do absolutely everything except drive a heavy goods vehicle or own a business which sells alcohol, for which you have to be 21. It used to be that you had to be 21 to be an MP or town councillor and iirc 27 to be a magistrate, but now you can do those at 18 too. For some purposes the voting age is as low as 16.Live in a country (Scotland) where the leaders of the three largest political parties are all women and two of them are lesbians, and nobody thinks this odd.Live in a country where the poet laureate, the most popular and iconic sports presenter and several of the most popular stand up comics are all lesbians and nobody thinks this odd.Live in a country where one of the most significant artists and political pundits (Grayson Perry) is a large, butch, straight man who routinely dresses (in public, while giving his weighty political opinions) as an over-made-up six-year-old girl in a frilly frock, and even the right-wing press only grouches that he's probably not a real transvestite like popular novelist, comedian and political pundit Eddie Izzard, but just showing off.Live in a country where the music reviewer of one of the most right wing papers (The Daily Mail) is a passionate Lady Gaga fan, and the book reviewer is fond of science fiction and comic gay romances.Live in a country where the main right-wing party is passionately in favour of LGBT rights and sending aid to the Third World, and every major party is opposed to the death penalty and in favour of welfare and the NHS - although they have different ideas on how best to fund and run them.Live in a country where the main dispute between left and right is over state versus commercial ownership of major services and resources.Be sure that you will get to vote if you are entitled to do so. The government periodically sends a form to every household which you fill in to say who lives at that address and is eligible to vote (any changes can also be made online). A few weeks before an election everybody who is entitled to vote is sent a cardboard ticket with their name and address on it, which they take along to the local polling station where they are crossed off a list. That we know of, we get about 20 fraudulent votes out of a population of 65 million.Live in a country where your welfare payments are yours to do what you want with, and not given to you as food stamps or paid directly to your landlord. I can see the arguments on both sides, especially if the recipient is a gambling or drug addict or has serious learning difficulties, but the fundamental difference is that the US seems to treat welfare like charity, which is in the control of the giver, whereas we see it as a payment from a state-owned insurance firm - the British welfare state is even called National Insurance. If we are entitled to a payout from that state insurance system we don't expect it to tell us what to do with the money, any more than we expect our car insurer to tell us that our insurance payment can only be spent on a new car, if we chose to have it paid in cash.Not be given special consideration at university or let off your academic work just because you are good at some sport, unless sport is actually what you are studying - and especially not be let off from a rape charge because you're good at some sport. In fact, if you're famous you're more likely to be charged for minor offences, or even falsely set up for an offence, because the press pays so well for scandal that it may be worth some con artist's time to invent some.Edit: Plus, also, live in a country where almost nobody has heard of Ayn Rand, far less read her, and rightish-wing newspaper The Daily Telegraph felt obliged to explain her to its readership as "An unpleasant Russian-American fruitcake".But perhaps the most important of all is this. If we elect a Prime Minister, and he or she turns out to be very bad at it, they can be heaved out on the grounds of incompetence. We don't have to impeach them: all that's required is a successful vote of "no confidence" to be passed in Parliament, in order to force a new general election.
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