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I am going through a break-up right now actually. My now-ex decided to call it quits the day after Christmas and 4 days before my birthday. My birthday is today.We got into an argument on Christmas because even though I gave him a small gift to let him know I loved him, despite some of our recent arguments, but he had chosen not to get me anything. It hurt just knowing how much time and energy and money he had spent on a Secret Santa gift for a coworker. I had given him a mini arcade game that he seemed to really enjoy (he is huge into games). He even started to play with it immediately.A common recurring argument we had was just how well he treated others when we were in public, buying my friends food and drinks and sometimes even complete strangers, when it was like pulling tooth and nail to get him to take me out to dinner once in a while.On Christmas, we had gone out for a couple of drinks and ending up arguing in his car outside of my house. I brought up the lack of gift giving and how I wish he would have thought of me as much as he thought of others. I asked him if he wanted to even be in this relationship. And there was silence. I decided to count to three. One. Two. Three. “Well, I guess that answers my question.”I leapt out of the car and briskly walked to my house. He said “Wait!” And followed me. I asked him to please just go home. And this is the moment I knew he no longer cared. Instead of saying something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t get you a gift,” or “I’m sorry you feel hurt,” or “Can we talk about this?” He just asked me, “Can I come in and get my bag?”The day after Christmas, I invited him over to chat. It was to touch base about what had happened. When I asked him again if he wanted to be in this relationship, he said he just couldn’t do it anymore. Basically, he wasn’t willing to put up the fight because I wasn’t worth the fight. He took his Christmas gift and told me even though we are done, he has a birthday gift coming for me.To be honest, I know we had different expectations and he couldn’t give me the things that I wanted from a partner, but I miss him terribly. And I feel very lonely today on my birthday as I write this. I wish he could’ve at least waited to break up with me until after my birthday.UPDATE: Happy New Year, everyone! I really appreciate the support all around during this difficult time. So, my ex didn’t follow up on his promise that he would still give me a birthday gift (that it was “in the mail”) and didn’t even bother to wish me happy birthday. Turns out he is a jerk and a liar. I feel more confident now that he doesn’t deserve me, and I will save my energy for someone who has more respect for me.UPDATE to my Update: Wow! My first Quora answer and I can’t believe the level of support I’ve gotten from so many amazing readers. Thank you for helping with my healing journey. As corny as it may sound, I am really grateful and on days my pain seemed endless, Quora has been so wonderful. Thank you to those who shared your own stories. I very much enjoyed reading them. I hope that 2020 treats us all better and that we may also show more love and kindness to others to make the world a better place.

I found out I was accepted to an Ivy League. I thought I was dreaming when my acceptance flashed on my screen. I had that feeling that many students looking to Ivy Leagues dream of- that contentment; the feeling that everything you’ve ever worked for has culminated at this one place, and you are reaping life’s hard earned rewards at the tender age of seventeen. For the longest time, I thought I would be attending. I had five long months to decide, and I put it off as long as I could.I also received a letter of admission to the University of Texas at Austin, my state’s flagship school (by NO means a low-tier institution, but lesser known outside the Texas area), along with a full tuition merit scholarship from the engineering school and an invitation to interview for a full ride + study abroad stipend through their Plan II Honors Program (liberal arts). The Ivy cost my family, who lay just outside the maximum possible income bracket to qualify for aid, 75k a year. My situation was crazy because, as many upper middle class students can relate, I’d grown up in a top public high school, being prepared for college , surrounded by affluent peers who were equally ambitious and motivated. I had never known any other reality but “work, earn the fruits of your work, and take the reward.” In general, you were viewed as intelligent if you attended a top school; this was an unspoken, but widely prevalent truth, and probably the reason why admission to these top schools mattered so much to my peers (most of them, at least). I went to visit the Ivy, as I had already traveled to UT for numerous camps, events, and the scholarship interview. I am a Texas resident, so everything in the ivy school was comparatively new. The climate, the general vibe of the area, and the community of people were all EXTREMELY different from those of Austin.Finally, it was April 28 and I had to decide. I had tried to rationalize everything, made huge t charts with pros and cons, talked to people who had been in my situation, chosen one or the other school (or comparable schools), talked to adults, talked to kids, and tried to just convince myself that the Ivy would bring me the best opportunities. Finally, I decided that the Ivy was the best place for me. Class sizes were smaller, opportunities were amazing, people were smart, motivated, interesting, and quirky. It was a neat little academic bubble full of people, some of whom would be future Fulbright Scholars, Rhodes Scholars, CEO’s, millionaires, and politicians. UT was a great place, but class sizes were huge, I viewed it as a party school, and pictured myself playing beer pong on weekends, as opposed to having teatime literary discussions with Professor emeritus Toni Morrison. Never mind that UT cost my family 65k less a year. I was convinced that my parents’ financial investment would pay off. I would prove to everyone how much I could do and who I could be.To avoid a cliched and sappy story of self realization (as though this entire post isn’t one), I woke up the morning of May 1, logged onto the Ivy applicant portal, and hit “I do NOT accept.” I never looked back.If you ever catch yourself thinking that there is ANYTHING that can make you successful rather than your own internal drive, intelligence, curiosity, and work ethic, you are wrong. Yes, to an extent, your surroundings do matter. That is why such renowned higher institutions such as Ivies exist. They are life-changers for people who grow up in low income families, and are the bastions of success for those who are diamonds in the rough. To these folks I’d say, especially since the financial aid is generous, these schools are worth the price tag. However, if you ever feel like you have to buy your way to success, which is what I , and many people like me, have undoubtedly felt, then it is probably not the right decision for you. I have highly educated parents who have contributed to who I am, who have provided a comfortable environment in which I can succeed and get good grades. I do not need a comfortable safe haven like the Ivy to provide me with an academic environment in which I can succeed in.In short, I chose UT because I was happier there. I would be going for almost no cost, I made tons of friends there, and over all, Austin was just much better for my overall well being than the very polarized Ivy environment. At the Ivy, I met people who were extremely bright and had just not been given the right circumstances to shine to their fullest. I also met trust fund babies whose achievements were a result of Mom and Dad’s hard earned money. Of course, there was a wide spectrum in between. But there were other reasons. Many Ivy grads turned to banking, consulting and finance- even those with engineering degrees. There was this sense of money, payoff, and name recognition mattering more than content. Of course, there were notable exceptions. One person I met at the Ivy, from the Playwright’s Guild, was kind enough to lend me his help in making my college decision, as he had made a similar one earlier. I felt bad about forgoing the warmth and kindness of certain people on the campus and its wealth of opportunities. But I reminded myself that, there are kind people everywhere. And if you work hard enough anywhere, opportunity will come knocking.YOU, not your college, creates the magic. UT Austin provided the opportunities I needed, the money, and the environment. If anything, going to a large institution will teach me how to be proactive and look for my own opportunities. I know that my intelligence is not some metric that can be ascribed to a certain school. My life was spent working towards academic success, or what I viewed as academic success, but I never paused to think about my own well being and my eventual life outcome. Sometimes when I try to rationalize it, I say- “there will never be a point at UT Austin when I complain that the school is too easy and that I have exhausted all the opportunities.” That is near impossible, as the school is challenging and filled with activities. There was no real advantage in attending Ivies, besides instant name recognition and veneration from certain types of people.Don’t view your school as something that’ll catapult you to success- because ultimately, that can be done by you and only you.

I just finished the season. To me, it was just a letdown from the Avatar franchise. It wasn’t bad if you look at it in terms of all animated shows, but it started feeling kind of like a hokey anime.It started off pretty strong, and the conflict between the Water Tribes was an interesting enough premise. A lot of people have gripes with Korra being manipulated, etc. Tbh I kind of understand her position because she’s a brash, headstrong teen and a lot of brash, headstrong teens exist (I was one), but they aren’t the Avatar, so their decisions don’t impact the whole world, lol. She relies a lot on other people (read: Tenzin, Jinora, Tonraq . . . ) to help get her out of situations she created and I feel like it’s a realistic depiction of how teens interact with the world, thinking they know best. It also introduced Varrick and Zhu Li and gave Bolin some screen time. I enjoy all these characters.UnalaqUnalaq was introduced as a deeply spiritual man with unique abilities. At first, he seemed like a theocracy-driven dude who truly wanted to unite the tribes. Okay, understandable. And then all of a sudden they pulled the “he wants to merge with the Dark Spirit and take over the world” thing. His whole backstory and premise was not well fleshed out at all, especially compared to someone like Amon (Noatak), whose horrifying experiences with bending caused him to try and eliminate bending with those same (ironically) horrifying means. How does a super spiritual guy turn into a monster— don’t you need some kind of moral foundation to gain those powers? Why would an otherwise spiritual man so deeply hate Tonraq, his brother? A lot of very inconsistent, confusing stuff made him a very unsympathetic, cartoony villain.Spirit stuff/loreI’ve always been a fan of the “evil is a point of view”, morally relative undertone of Avatar. Even Sozin was shown to be a normal kid living in a prosperous nation whose ambitions and environment tainted him. Azula was ultimately a deeply damaged, misguided child. Amon was a deeply vengeful yet pained human being in his own right. The villains of the franchise, in my opinion, drive the plot and make you think. Avatar’s uniqueness stems in part from the unique approach to morality, influenced by Eastern ways of thinking. And then they pulled the absolute good and evil type approach, which is a dime a dozen.Raava and Vaatu kind of works, and I get it. You need both dark and light to maintain balance. I enjoyed the Wan episodes and the animation was nice. But my problem (kind of discussed above with Unalaq) was the cartoony villain “bad just to be bad” approach they took with this spirit stuff. If you need both light and dark, then why was the focus suddenly on completely “getting rid” of the dark spirit? Where was the humanness; the heart behind Unalaq besides a cackling evil nuisance?This lack of nuance behind the villain made Vaatu and Unalaq look like props set up for Korra to win. There was no weight. She doesn’t grow as a person by fighting this evil monster because she has one objective: fight and kill, and it’s unequivocally the right thing to do. In fact, that’s what Korra thinks the Avatar should do all the time — fight. And unlike the other villains, who made her a more compassionate, introspective and resilient person, Vaatu just served to show her that no matter how reckless she is, she can power up and destroy anyone because hey- she’s the Avatar.There was more epic ways to bring in the story of the spirits which keep this moral relativism intact, but they kind of lost it somewhere along the way.AnimationI read that Studio Pierrot took over animation for this season. It became very static and weird. I felt like I was watching some stop motion stuff. Their conversations are super static and facial expressions were not well defined, and the lack of smoothness really distracted me from falling in love with the story. (Studio Mir, original on the left. Studio Pierrot on the right.)Plot contrivancesI didn’t like how Korra got her bending back at the end of Season 1 (some weird, “at your lowest point you get the greatest change” stuff . . . yeah whatever). But understandable because it was only supposed to be one season long before Nick renewed or something. But this season, especially the end, was weird. Korra was defeated by Unalaq and then suddenly her “energy” made her some huge giant. She was about to lose again and then Jinora descended and saved her. It felt very “pull-stuff-out-of-the-hat” and disjointed. Personally I prefer more character and ideology focused problems which minimize the “overpowered wow factor” unless visual spectacle is absolutely necessary. The original Avatar did a good job of this because those who were powerful were given good reasons why they were so powerful, and the main characters failed time and time again usually because of their own shortcomings, which gave them weight and character growth. But here, it really felt like they were just pulling stuff left and right so Korra couldn’t lose, and accompanying it with epic music (which to its credit was still beautiful). It felt like a really bad shonen anime.