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How did you lose your best friend?

I first met her at a wild day-drinking party when we were still in middle school, she was nearly incoherent and had wandered into a park nearby. Instantly she trusted me, holding my hand as I led her back to the house. I was intrigued by her, a slender blonde with a pixie haircut and bohemian style. She was a year or so younger, but she was very precocious and had a depth to her emotions that fascinated me. Her name was Mikaelah.Through high school, we were close friends. We fancied ourselves as magical beings, taking trips into the mountains to perform secret “ceremonies;” mostly it was in the vain hope of making the boy she loved fall in love with her. We were the bad girls who smoked cigarettes, lit insence and candles, and wore horrific amounts of eye makeup. Under all that angst, we actually laughed and played with absolute abandon when our peers weren’t around. There were no secrets between us, and I knew about her medical diagnoses including manic depression quite early on- but I did not fully understand it at that age.When she was 16, she underwent her first hospitalization following a suicide attempt. In the months following, her appearance changed. She gained weight and lost more confidence. The insecurity and isolation of adolescence and the crisp indifference of the real world alienated us right after I graduated. I went away to school in another country and we didn’t communicate for a few years.After completing my schooling, I moved back home and began my teaching career. My dear friend and I reconnected as though no time had passed. She was far more intense then than ever before, demanding my presence and continual contact. If I didn’t return a call, she would come find me at my house and we would fight. It was so much fun when she was happy, but it was absolutely draining when she was down or angry with me. She decided she wanted to go off to school like I had done, and wanted to apply to a prestigious art university a few states away. The application was overwhelming to her and I stepped in to help. It was exciting for both of us, although more and more our relationship was strained and confused by her erratic behavior. We built her portfolio, I wrote her reference, and we waited together for the results.It should be noted that her doctors had overloaded her with medications at this point. She had gained more weight and her completion; which I had always envied as a teenager, was suddenly ravaged by acne. It was a side effect of the drugs. She had become extremely promiscuous, frighteningly so, and I often tried to lecture her. Everything was in excess- from shopping to drinking to emotional outbursts. She seemed to be living in a dream I couldn’t fathom and didn’t have the wherewithal to refuse.It wasn’t long after we submitted the application that she received her acceptance letter, and she packed her bags to move across the country. I was happy for her, but (admittedly) very absorbed in my new career. After the first few weeks, her calls became less frequent. She tried to call me a few times after the first month, I was busy with work and never responded.It was the start of the school year. Within 2 months, she wrote me a long goodbye message on my Myspace page. She said she wished I would have been there for her as her friend and that she needed me. I didn’t receive it until after I found out she killed herself. I never said goodbye. I never will. That’s how I lost my best friend.

What was that pivotal moment in your life when you knew life would never be the same?

July 22, 2011That July day, while searching for financing for people with bad or no credit, we stumbled across a company, Alliance Credit Relief, with offices in Florida, New York and California. They checked out with the Better Bussiness Bureau with an A- rating. They had only been around about a year, with two negative complaints that had been successfully closed. I must have searched Google for hours, only encountering positive reviews. I took a chance, filled out a brief contact form and clicked submit. With no responses over the next 5 days, I continued to search, make phone calls and submit loan applications that were rejected almost immediately.With no aid in sight, my husband returned to work 3 weeks early after his hip replacement surgery, unable to take anything stronger than ibuprofen due to 2 hour commute each way and a previous addiction to tramadol. On his 4th day back to work, I got an excited phone call from him- Alliance Credit Relief contacted him, letting us know we had been approved for a $10,000 loan, payed out once our paperwork was completed and notarized.I was literally speechless, crying. Our nightmare was almost over and we might just make it out of Shoma alive. My husband forwarded me the paperwork and I got to work collecting the necessary information and paperwork. Our contact, Diane called several times, detailing how the process worked, when we could expect the funds to be transferred and to see if we had any questions. The next morning, my husband went to a notary, completed the paperwork and faxed everything to Diane. She confirmed receiving our forms, assuring us funds would be transferred by the end of the week.Smith Farm, Lake Worth, Florida (Smith Farm and homes for sale.)In the meantime, knowing that our loan had been approved, our agent found our next home in a gated community known as Smith Farm in Lake Worth. She, herself, had lived for 10 years in the community and was where most of real estate transactions occurred. The house had been empty for almost two years due to a foreclosure and the homeowner's association were willing to rent the house, despite our rocky tenant history.It was beautiful, on a cul-de-sac with a backyard that bordered on a shallow pond. Inside needed some cosmetic work, and the layout was a bit unusual- but the Tiffany style light fixtures compensated for everything. There had been no reported crimes in over two years. We submitted our application, provided one month's rent as a deposit and began arranging for a moving company to move the largest pieces. To save money, we would do the rest. Having only been in the townhome or less than 3 months, most of the boxes and packing supplies were in the garage.Not even 24 hours later, our agent had the lease. We signed and initialed everywhere. Because of our history, they asked for first, last and a security deposit, payable one week before moving in. It was a done deal or so we thought.The same day the lease was filed, we received a call from Diane. We were still scheduled to receive the funds Friday, but there was one issue that had to be settled. The guarantor of our loan was requesting funds for background checks, processing fees and the first month's loan payment. They requested the funds be wired to corporate headquarters in New York via Western Union. It seemed a bit unusual, but after talking to Diane, who assured us this was standard operating policy, we wired the funds as instructed. An hour later, we received confirmation of the transfer and when the funds would available- tomorrow.That night had to have been the best night's in months. We had a new home in a safe community and a small nest egg against future repairs or mishaps. The next morning, hoppng online, I was a little concerned that the funds were not there, but went about setting up utility transfers and enrolling our son in preschool. Later that day, I received a flurry of texts and messages from my husband to call him immediately. Diane had called, the funds could not be released until the following Wednesday due to a backlog of paperwork. I tried for over 3 hours to reach Diane or any other human, but could never speak to a live voice- only voicemail.Just by the end of the day my husband called again. Everything was ok, things like this happen all the time. But, he had had to transfer more funds via Western Union, to the same account as before. They wanted the first 3 or 4 monthly payments, which would be posted to the account, giving us a few months payment free. The only available funds was the rent payment where we were currently living, but we could replace those once we got the loan in 5 days.6939 Dawntree Ct. Lake Worth, FloridaIt was at this stage, that I realized something was very very wrong, but I kept it to myself. After months of hardship, my husband seemed relaxed and excited about our future. Several times a day, I sent emails, test faxes and called Diane only getting her voicemail. The night before we were to receive the money, would be the last time I would sleep through the night for years. The next morning, we checked our bank account- no funds. We waited a few hours checked again- no funds. We called Wells Fargo to see if a transfer was in processing. No and they had never heard of Alliance Credit Relief. My husband began calling every number related to the company, only this time, there was no voice mail. Just silence.Feeling the panic building, I went downstairs to the dreaded first floor office, booted up the computer and began searching for contact information we might have missed. On a whim, I checked in again on the BBB site and it was there I saw what lead to hours of shock, horror and uncontrollable sobbing.In the two weeks since I had first researched the company, there were dozens of heartbreaking complaints from others like ourselves who had been scammed out of all their life savings. Their stories were the same as our as- only the names were different. I remember screaming for my husband, who hobbled downstairs unable to comprehend what I was saying. Looking at the screen, he realized we had fallen prey to a master scam. His face lost all color and tears fell as he whispered “Oh my God, there's no money- we have lost everything”.Devastated, I ran out the front door into the street, trying to breathe. My son was hysterical- why are mommy & daddy scared and crying? My only thought was, the money in the bank is gone, we cannot pay rent for the place we are in, let alone to another place. I do not remember much of the next several hours. I do remember screaming over and over again, “ what are we going to do- you have to fix this”!. The remaining deposit on the new place was due in just days, and there was no way for us to get the deposit back. We were seriously days away from becoming homeless.We started reaching out to family and friends, none of whom were willing to help us. Many did not return our calls. I spoke with our agent who was trying to work out a solution to get into the Lake Worth house. Every call, text, email was met with rejection. That was until the agent called again. Both she and the agent representing Smith Farms were willing to put their commissions towards the remaining deposit. That left us 24 hours to raise $1800.The next call I received can only be considered a gift from God. My mother's best friend was going to gift us $1000 to end this nightmare once and for all. At that moment she became more than a family friend, she become my mom until the day she died two years ago. Admonished at our amazing luck I headed upstairs to overhear the most heartbreaking conversation between my husband and Grandpa Dave, the man he called his father and friend. In tears, he outlined what had happened and begged to borrow $800 under any terms and conditions. I had never heard him sound so low, defeated and scared. And the answer was no.A few hours later, Grandpa Dave called, saying he had a friend, who would take out a cash advance from his credit card the next morning. We could settle the terms of repayment later. Exhausted, we collapsed in bed, after trying endlessly to reach Diane or anyone at the loan company. For several hours, then days, we waited for Grandpa Dave to return our messages. He called a week later, like nothing had happened, chatting away about future fishing trips. To this day, I have yet to forgive him for demeaning and hurting my husband so deeply.In the meantime, our agent scrambled to buy us time to get the remaining deposit money. Two days later, the fates decided we had suffered enough and a work acquaintance of my husband's reached out and said “how much do you need and where should we meet up”? I literally almost fainted from the shock and instant release of fear and suffering. As simple as that, someone saw we desperately needed help and stepped up. Our families and closest friends offered nothing.First picture taken at our Lake Worth homeThat afternoon, we dropped off the remaining deposit money before any more mishaps crossed our paths. By the end of the week, we began moving our possessions ourselves, with the paid assistance of a few day laborers hanging out in front of the local Home Depot. Some pieces that were too heavy or could not be maneuvered down the narrow staircase, we left behind.To make this a fresh start, we spent the night at a hotel, swimming, walking to the beach, shedding months of pent-up anger, frustrations, sadness and fear. We no longer had to worry about the sounds of gunfire in the night or being attacked while taking out the trash. But we would deal with financial complications for years. Unfortunately, we had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. Multiple movings, lost deposits, thousands in medical expenses as well as the loss of our meager savings left us no other choice.In the months to follow, I spent hours calling, emailing, faxing Diane and the non-existent company she “worked” for. Only once, after we had settled into our new home, was I able to successfully contact her. To the bitter end, she claimed our application was still in processing, just waiting for a few last pieces of paperwork. I began sobbing hysterically, screaming over and over “where was the money and how could you do this to people already at rock bottom. “ She never said a word and didn't hang up. She put me on speaker phone, as I could hear the laughter and comments from fellow co-workers / scammers.We contacted the police, FBI and state attorney general seeking options to catch the scammers, before they could destroy other families. It was in the early days of the Western Union scams and the only advice we were given- don't make the same mistake twice. Give up any lost fantasies of recovering your money. By the time the recipient walked out the doors of Western Union your money was gone. An interesting observation. Every now and then I google certain names and companies. About a year ago, a small investment company in Pennsylvania, with a manager known as Diane began racking up numbers of fraud complaints with the BBB.Our story was just one of thousands. Many lost so much, their jobs, families and lives, unable to deal with the shame and consequences of being victimized. We considered ourselves relatively intelligent people. I have a PhD and my husband a MBA. We thought we did our research and that this was a legitimate solution to our financial woes. Our degrees and common sense did not prevent us from being victimized. Our desperation made us easy and willing participants.It is only due to the kindness of mere strangers that we did not end up.on the streets or worse. We still deal with the consequences of those desperate choices almost ten years later. But perhaps the greatest lessons for ourselves and our son, is the importance of reaching out to those in need, friends, family members even total strangers. Many teeter constantly on the brink of financial ruin, a flat tire, illness or temporary job loss can be catastrophic. We help whenever and wherever we see a need. Bottles of water for the homeless on hot summer days, blankets in the winter. We have anonymously paid utility bills or assisted in the payment of mortgages. Sometimes the only help we can provide is a hug or just to listen. When we hit rock bottom, we needed help. Our families looked the other way, while two almost strangers gave what they had with no strings attached.

My mother has saved up to 5 lakhs for my wedding and has been saving for 10 years. She didn't tell anyone until last night and perhaps this won’t be mentioned in the books. What shall we do?

My Dad works in a PSU Bank and this is what he suggests:The amount: 5 lakhNeed to worry: a big NO!!First there is no need for you to panic.Disclaimer: If others are thinking that by depositing cash in different PAN accounts, they can convert all their black to white then they are wrong!! I-T department is tracking every cash transaction (It is quite easy to monitor millions of accounts with simple algorithms to detect suspicious activity, ask any mathematician it has been achieved before). They will be caught sooner or later!!It is sad to see that some people are unwilling to pay income tax but they want their government to provide them metros, airports, world class infrastructure, 24x7 electricity and other comforts but they won’t pay income tax but still blame the government for even a pothole in their locality. Income Tax evaders are a disgrace to the nation, they have no authority to call themselves an Indian.Now the Solution:Requirements:Two different individual's Bank accounts with their PAN:It could be your account and your mom's. Or any of your family members whom you can trust (so that they should return your savings).If your Mother doesn’t have a Bank account or PAN, its the best shubh muhurat to apply for both. (Even an application number of PAN request form is accepted by the banks further detail in FAQ).Wait for few days for the rush at banks to reduce: (only if its possible, if not then you can go for exchange but expect long queues at banks)Since the window for exchange for currency is open till 30th December. So don't worry.Only the deposits above 2.5 lakh will be under scrutiny and housewives will not be questioned for the said amount: Make the best use of this option, divide your 5 lakh in to 2.5L and 2.5L and deposit in two different bank accounts along with the declaration form and PAN.Since each deposit does not exceed 2.5L limit: So no need to worry at all, get the new denomination of 2000Rs and 500Rs as per need and enjoy the beauty of Mangalyan and Lal Kila :).FAQs:Q. Can I deposit 2.5L and 2.5L in two different bank accounts of same individual?Ans. Big NO!! Since the individual is same, he/she will have the same PAN and I-T department will get to know about 5L in total deposits with same PAN, so the individual will be under I-T scrutiny.Q. My mother doesn’t have a bank account?Ans. Then please open a Savings bank account as early as possible by submitting the KYC (Know your Customer) documents at any bank of your choice. Your bank account should be operational within maximum two working days.(KYC: Passport, Driving Licence, Aadhar Card, Voter ID, NERAGA Card, PAN Card - Any one document towards proof of identity and proof of address (either permanent or current) - KYC Documents Individuals - SBI Corporate Website)Q. I don’t have PAN? If I apply now, will I get a PAN within 30th December deadline?Ans. Again no need to panic. Apply for new PAN at ( Online Application for New PAN (Form 49A) - Tax Information Network ).Q. What if I don't want to apply for PAN, but still want to deposit till 2.5L limit?Ans. As suggested, you can deposit any amount less than 50k (without PAN) per day. If the the total deposit exceeds 2.5L between 10th November to 30th December, it will be under I-T scrutiny.Q. What will happen if I deposit more than 2.5L?Ans. If you deposit more than 2.5L at once (for which PAN is mandatory) or more than 2.5L in total between 10th November to 30th December, with the help of your PAN the ITR (Income Tax Return) for the financial year 2015-16 filed by you will be verified with respect to your income declaration and deposit. If any wrong doing is found only then you will face a 200% penalty refer footnote [1]. If your income declaration in the ITR 2015-16 is in sync with your deposits then you need not worry.Q. What about large families with every member holding bank accounts? (as asked by Vishal Panchal)Ans. An individual can deposit up to 2.5L per PAN, so a family of four (4 bank accounts and PANs) can deposit up to 10L without I-T scrutiny (considering 2.5L deposit per person). Larger families will be able to deposit more overall but per person 2.5L safely will remain the same.Q. What about farmers, housewives and small shop owners who have no idea about PAN, how can they get PAN in such a short time?Ans. All the non-PAN card holder can fill Form 60 in place of PAN while depositing above 50k. All the farmers have to fill Form 61 (Form 61 is for agricultural land owners or agricultural income deposit). But even with Form 60/61 any deposit above 2.5L shall be under scrutiny of I-T department. Form 60/61 can be obtained from your bank, for more refer footnote [3].Q. What will happen if I get caught (unable to prove legitimate source of deposit exceeding 2.5L)?Ans. "This would be treated as a case of tax evasion and the tax amount plus a penalty of 200 per cent of the tax payable would be levied as per the Section 270(A) of the Income Tax Act," as said by Revenue Secretary Hasmukh Adhia. Refer footnote [1] for more.PAN card is mandatory for any Bank transaction of Rs. 50,000/- and above, footnote [2].When you complete all the application requirements of PAN, after you submit your application you will receive an Acknowledgement Number. You can show the PAN Acknowledgement Number to your bank while depositing the cash, they will accept it. And your 2.5L deposit will not be under I-T scrutiny.But mind you if the deposit is above 2.5L per PAN between 10th November to 30th December then be ready for 200% penalty, only if you are unable to prove legitimate source of the deposit. And banks won’t accept 2.5L without PAN. With the help of PAN, your entire financial history is known to the I-T department, so you can’t escape the Law.Note: If you have any other FAQ please comment, I will update.Please be a part of the biggest economic revolution of our times.Apologies for any errors.Edit 1: Removed PMJDY as the deposit limit is 1Lakh, which won’t solve the problem of OP as suggested by Anmol Vashisht and Max Ikon, Added more FAQ as suggested by User-9688952714430590054.Edit 2: Corrected wrong choice of word, all thanks to Anuj Kalbalia.The government gave black money hoarders time till 30th of September, 2016 to declare undisclosed income but they ignored it. They are nothing but a criminal in my view and a DISGRACE. Don’t worry they will pay for their Karma in one way or another.Footnotes:[1] Penalty on Mismatch: Deposits above Rs 2.5 lakh to face tax[2] Starting today, PAN card must for all transactions above[3] Form 60/ 61: Procedure for submitting this Form in place of PAN

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