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To shed light on this ask yourself the following questions....How were your feelings and mistakes handled growing up? Were they forgiven, judged, or punished? Who was hard on you? Were you made to feel ashamed? If you answered yes to any of the above then chances are you have been conditioned to feel this way by your upbringing.Secondly, evaluate the standards by which you’re judging yourself. Are they in line with your own true personal values? Or those of your parents? your friends?, partners? colleagues? Do you need their approval? Are you trying to try to live up to someone else’s expectations or prove your worth to someone else? If you truly believe it is for 'no reason' then this would indicate a desire to impress or accommodate others at the price of your own happiness. This could indicate a need for acceptance, that you are lacking a sense of identity or that you have low self esteem.It sounds to me as if you may be experiencing symptoms of anxiety. The best west way to alleviate these symptoms is to determine the root cause of them - there is almost definitely an event or series of events that you can trace them back to. Seeking some form of counselling will enable you to understand the correlation between your past experiences and your current state of mind. Understanding why you feel this way will rationalise the guilty feelings and you will automatically place less emphasis on them. I personally think you would benefit from discussing your guilt and surrounding issues with a counsellor who practices a 'Person Centred' Approach.This is only my opinion however - I hold no official qualifications in this field so before you act on any of my suggestions i would urge you to consult a medical professional. Hope this helped.

Yes, yes. You should be very worried.Why do you think kids like Tanishq Abraham and Shubham Banerjee do so much at this young age?Not to help or inspire people, no, no!They do all of that so that people like you and me can have things to worry about and can find more ways to doubt our own abilities with the help of something called ‘comparison’.Hand on your heart, does this sound right to you? Do I sound like I am making any sense in the above statement?If you think, the answer is ‘NO’, then Happy, Worry-free Birthday to you! Stay blessed.Here’s some consolation for you, as a birthday gift.I am 28, and I have done NOTHING in my life so far, that I am proud of. So, you are not alone, is what I mean. :)But I have done many things that have made people happy, and me happier.It is not very difficult to do, if you trade ‘comparison’ with ‘self-evaluation and motivation’.You are too old to not know that by now.And too young to think that it is too late for you to know. It isn’t.Just quit worrying, spread happiness and be happy whenever possible.You, just as you are, are a wonderful form of energy anyway! I cannot imagine what all you can do when you start to channelize that energy into accomplishing something great! You could be a powerhouse at the age of 40, who knows! At 22, it is only wise to spend more time in knowing and understanding your circuit better.Happy Birthday! :D

Many of us struggle with this idea known as imposter syndrome:The impostor syndrome is an interesting psychological phenomenon where people feel like they don’t deserve their accomplishments. Internally they feel like a fraud or they worry that one day someone will find out that they are not good enough.No matter how successful they are on the outside or how much external evidence there is of their skills or competence these people are convinced that they don’t deserve the success they have achieved.Studies have found that 70 percent of all people feel like impostors at one time or another. Even though it is very prevalent, no one talks about it! And we have to talk about it:Otherwise people feel incredibly alone. Huge successes have come out and admitted to having bouts of Impostor Syndrome including Meryl Streep, Tina Fey and Denzel Washington.I personally think this issue is important because if we don’t feel we deserve our success it contributes to greater feelings of depression, inadequacy, difficulty in relationships and low self-esteem.Let’s talk about the Impostor Syndrome so you can recognize the signs and take steps to heal.Fixing Your Impostor Syndrome1. Recognize Impostor Syndrome SignsLook at the following statements and answer yes or no:____Do you ever feel you don’t deserve your achievements?____Do you ever worry that people will find out you are secretly not worthy?____After a success, have you dismissed it as luck or timing?____Do you think you have tricked others into thinking you are more successful than you actually are?____Do you think others over-value your success?If you said yes to more than 2 of these you have likely experienced a form of the Impostor Syndrome.2. This is NOT a DefectPauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes coined the term “Impostor Syndrome” after observing many high-achieving women who tended to believe they were not competent, and that they were over-evaluated by others. What’s important to note is that this is not a personality trait. Rather it is a reaction to certain situations. Because of that it can be controlled and addressed.3. Name and TameThe good news is that just recognizing you are feeling impostor syndrome thoughts can help you stop them. So you need to get in the habit of hearing your own self-doubts. If you hear yourself say, “Oh I don’t deserve this” or “It was just luck.” Pause and note that you are having these impostor syndrome thoughts. Then try…4. Keep Success Reminders HandySometimes we forget that we are worth it. If you know you have impostor syndrome tendencies I want you start to gather success reminders. These can be emails from colleagues or friends and family. They can be letters you have received. They can be pictures of times you were proud. It can even be calling a friend who is a great cheerleader.5. Keep a Gratitude JournalNothing grounds you more than writing down what you are grateful for. Writing therapy has proven to be a great remedy for the impostor syndrome. When you are feeling those self-doubts you can pull out a journal and write about the 5 things you are grateful for. You can also write about your proudest moment. This gets those good juices flowing.6. Boost Your ConfidenceThere are ways to boost your internal self-esteem and confidence. Check out our next post on How to Look and Feel Confident.<3 Vanessa