Dear Friend, Thank You For Your Interest In The Adult Education: Fill & Download for Free

I am 18, and my fiance is 19. By the time we are 19 and 20 our first child will be born. Both of us have good paying jobs (well above minimum wage). We are moved out. He owns a car. We pay our bills on time, and he is going to college with no debt. Even though we are relatively stable for our age, there are many many obstacles that we are facing to bring our baby into the world. We have to find a bigger house to rent (cheap one bedroom apartment won't cut it), we have to find insurance that will cover my pregnancy (birth is extremely expensive), among many other things. My fiance is in school full time and works full time. I also work a full time job. Being younger and facing parenthood is hard. Really hard. And I am considered a legal adult!Pregnancy is an amazing experience but that also is very difficult. My job is demanding, I am on my feet throughout my entire shift. I get very tired and feel sick, but because of my age and inexperience I can't easily get a job that is less physically demanding.Your body goes through a lot as it grows a new human being. Are you ready to experience the nausea, painful gas, muscles stretching, and changes to the youthful body you have now? The troubled sleep, food aversions, and mood swings?If you are unable to go to college, are you willing to work hard at crummy jobs and earn money to provide for your child? Even if you do get a job, who will watch the baby while you work? How will you pay for expensive child care? Will you have a stable, loving partner to support you? How will you live once your baby is born? How will you buy diapers and formula? Are you willing to give up school and carefree fun with friends?Right now I imagine you go to school, have homework, and spend free time with your friends or doing activities you enjoy. At this age you would likely not even be old enough to get a job once your baby was born. So your time would be spent with a tiny human relying on you completely for all of it's needs to be met. Someone else would have to provide for you both financially. Is that something you're willing to put your family through?My baby was not planned. My fiance and I were quite upset when we found out that we were pregnant. Unplanned pregnancy happens, and I believe parenthood or adoption are the best options in those cases. After the shock wore off we became extremely happy and are looking forward to being parents. However, actively planning a pregnancy when you are 14-15 is not at all a good idea, even if children can be wonderful. The desire to have children comes naturally to many people. Its a biological response as your body matures. I also wanted children all through my childhood and adolescence.But, you have to check your impulses with your brain. Compare parenthood now with parenthood later on in life, with an education, a career, a home, and a committed partner. It might not seem like it now, but waiting to have a baby will absolutely be worth it and you'll be glad that you took your time and had the space to grow up. Your future child will thank you, too.P.S., If there is something missing in your life, please understand that your child may not fulfill whatever you are lacking. Once a baby is born, he/she becomes the parents entire lives. A child is not a babydoll that can be put down once you are bored. A child is a lifelong commitment that requires constant care, patience, discipline, and love. The majority of your attention will be spent raising a baby. Their needs are very demanding. If you are experiencing depression or sadness or feel unloved, please find a professional to speak with and resolve your issues before subjecting a helpless child to them.**Update after giving birth: I still 100% stand by this. Having a child is having a piece of your heart leave your body and be vulnerable to the world. It is life changing, hard, and full of sacrifice. It is also wonderful and the best thing to ever happen to me.***Update over a year after writing this: Wow! I have not been on Quora for a long time (busy at home raising a little boy). This answer blew up in the best way. I never expected to have so many upvotes and comments! My family is doing very well. My husband and I very happily celebrated our 1 year anniversary in March. Our son is an absolute joy. We love him dearly and have no regrets. Life isn't always perfect but we feel very privileged to be so settled and content. Thank you all for your support and interest in our lives!

I don't want to write my heart out, but I just want to share this with all of you as it has really left a deep impact on my mind, and want your opinion on this topic.About Me:— I am one of those high end prostitutes in Delhi and I work as one because I do not come from a rich family, I don't have my father and I am not that educated as well that can me land a decent paying job. I work as a call centre employee in the daylight, and in the night I make big bucks. If being sexy is ranked on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd definitely be a 8.5+ and that's why I am so successful.I mostly deal in high paying clients, but most of them are of real sick mentality. Many of them are adults of age 50+, some are of the age of about 25–30, many want to lose their virginities, some want group sex. All of them either have a very good and stable job, or run a family business and so money is not a problem for me.Most of the men want weird and sickening roleplays from me. They want the roleplay where they are raping me, they want a roleplay where I am their real life daughter, they do a roleplay where I am their student, where they are my uncles. They have fantasy for all of them they ask me to be and it really creeps me out, how can a father think that about his daughter, a teacher about his student, a uncle about his daughter, a man raping someone. In most of thear sessions they are very violent. They beat and spank me, tie me, hit me with sticks and other BDSM stuff.I mean how can they even think of doing this about with their daughter or students. All this started to make me think, all men are the same. They all are creepy and molesters, rapists and of wicked mindsets. They just want to punish and dominate a woman. They really never ever want just sex, they want to destroy us women. They want to treat us like slaves, and treat us like their toys.They earn hell lot but they bargain like cheapskate, before and after the act as well. There was this one man who was my regular client, who used to imagine me as my daughter in law, and used to boast how he fucked her while she was still living with them but never say anything due to family values.There was this another man , who used to have very rough sessions with me and used to tell me that when he will get married, he will do much worse to his wife(all those movies that exist).But about 3 months back, I met a man who changed my mindset a lot. He called me and we fixed the meeting. He did not bargain whatsoever, and got ready to pay me for the entire night and asked me to come his place. I got ready and went there.He opened the door and let me in. He was really nervous and when we sat on the sofa, he broke down.He started crying like anything and I was unable to figure out why was he doing so. I tried to comfort him, but all of it in vain as he was still crying. I tried to kiss him, but he just pushed me away saying he doesn't want to have sex with me today, but just needed a companion for the night.I was extremely confused of what was he saying and said that today, his girlfriend from the past 7 years broke up with him on the phone while he was in office. She insulted him pretty bad and cursed him, said a lot of swear words and abused him a lot.He somehow passed the day at the office but was completely broken from within and that was pretty evident on his face. His friends were not there that time nor his family, and he needed someone to listen to him. Just listen to him and nothing else.Sometimes later he finally stopped crying and apologized for such a behavior. He finally was able to speak now and asked if I would eat something. We went out and had a nice dinner. Till now he didn't even touch me. His eyes weren't after any girls in the town, he didn't have lust in his eyes, he was seeing and treating me with all the respect in the world and I couldn't do anything but admire him.We later went back to his house and I got to know more about his girlfriend. How he loved her more than his life, how he had planned to marry her, informed me about their past, told some pretty interesting stories, how he never touched her without her wish, they never had coitus. How she cheated on him a few times, but he still forgived her every single time and accepted her every time.Entire time he was just holding my hand, crying occasionally and speaking all that he wanted to speak.This all went for quite a while, and I didn't realise when did I fell asleep. In the morning when I woke up, I found myself in the bedroom, with a blanket on me and he was nowhere to be found in the bedroom. I went out and found him sleeping on the sofa, hugging a photo frame of him and her tightly to his chest, tear drop marks all over his cheeks and his pillow soaked in tears. I really felt very bad for him and I really was touched by the character of this man who had so much respect even for a girl like me who slept with others for money.This is where I made on the biggest mistake of my life, I fell for him. I fell for him at that moment.Now I started spending time with him as I knew he needed me. He too loved to spend time with me. Slowly he was getting over his girlfriend, started living his life to the full again. We used to talk and talk a lot both on phone and in personal. Chats converted into texts, texts into video calls. We went to shopping together, clubs together, restraunts and explored places together. He made me quit my habit of smoking, made me join a gym for keeping myself fit, we started going there together.After meeting him, I left my prostitute job as he requested me to do so. He has started taking care of a part of my financial expense and things were good until two days back when he he confessed his love for me.I also love him, but I don't find myself worthy for a guy like him. I don't think my past is good for a guy like him, the job I went through. Although he says that whatever I did was in past was left long back and he doesn't even remember it, but I still am not sure about it.Yes, I love him and would love to have him in my life, but am I the girl who will be a suitable match for a guy like him.Please guys help me, I am extremely confused and don't know what to do.Edit:—First of all thankyou everyone for the humongous love and support you gave me.It was really very kind of you all for your kind words, and suggestions.We have finally made our decision.We are going to be together. I was really worried about what the society will think about him when they will come to know about me.I talked to him about the same and he replied “ Dear, this society exploited you in the first place and here you are caring for the society”.“ Maybe they will mock us for the first few months, make fun of us humiliate us, but we have to spend the lives together, not with them”.They are like guests in the wedding “ they will come, they will eat, they will try to find out flaws and will crictisize a lot”.But at the end of the day we won't even be knowing most of them.So stop worrying about this damn society and worry about our future together.He has requested for the change of his job location from Delhi to either Bangalore or Hyderabad.We are going to start a new life.Thank you all.

Something about me first: I am a 29-year-old scientist, traveled around quite a bit in the world (so exposed to different cultures for a quite a long time). I believe every individual (irrespective of personality) is different and unique (not special). So it would be wrong to generalize but here is my feeling:Right from childhood, I felt I was different. had shut myself for most of my childhood and people have told me (till today, until this moment) that I am more “mature” than my age. But it did not help me to express my thoughts or feelings or most importantly my struggles.Even at this age, even talking with adults, I have felt constantly misunderstood. It frustrates me a lot. It frustrates me, even more, realising that I can go into their shoes but they can not into mine (No, I am not trying to be arrogant and pompous here. Please do not misunderstand me). Also, I do not consider myself “special”, I am just human like others, maybe I consider myself different in a way that I do not fit in.I love human beings but I hate (not literally) it at the same time. We (humans) take pride that we are “intelligent” but I think we are foolish and selfish (Don't get me wrong here, I believe Jesus and Buddha and every great person was selfish. However their definition of selfish was very different - being happy by helping and caring about the world). I really want to take a “vacation” from humans and ideally, I just want to die in a black hole right now. At least I will experience something unique. My problem with humans (us) is that we try to find a shortcut, which is usually not morally correct. We look for an “easy solution”, we paint everything with one color. We point figures at others, rather than saying, “it is more complicated than that”. We expect things from others which we do not want to reciprocate. We mourn for a person after death and cry like a kid but will not appreciate when the person is alive. Our agenda is mostly limited to what affect us rather than seeing a big picture. We do not take a step back and say “hang on, what are we doing? Why are we doing what we are doing? Where are we leading to?” We just live like a headless chicken.I have core values (everyone deserves to be loved, cared and understood-UNCONDITIONALLY), the material world is just bullsh* for me. And I will die for my core values rather than living a life just superficially. Without my core values, I am nobody, at all. I am very honest. I want to hear things honestly because if someone pretends, I just know it (walking lie/pretend detector most of the times). I constantly look for things which makes me a better human. Being better human is more important to me than being a scientist. Though without my work and research, I can not imagine my life.It is extremely difficult to live as an INFJ, because I am walking paradox, struggling every moment I breathe with contradictions. If I start writing on this more it will be thousand page long, and one of my best friend (who abandoned me saying “you are not normal. Behave like a normal person”) has complained that I write “too long messages”. I never left in that friendship and I will never do and I will stand by to my this friend, others and everyone who matters to me, no matter what they give me in return. I will sacrifice all I have for people whom I care and love, except it conflicts with my values.Verbally expressing my thoughts is extremely difficult for me. I am klutz as well, always bumping into glasses and problems with stairs. I am constantly in touch with everyone but myself! It is like an autonomous mode!My mind perceives the world and people in a very different way: it is like you have eyes which perceive only infrared light, the world will be very different. So is my mind. The way my mind perceive the world is different than if we take “average” of human mind in this world. It is very frustrating because I do not fit in.I have dark-side (no surprise Hitler and Osama bin Laden were INFJs and so did Gandhi and Mandela btw) and this includes hurting someone permanently or manipulate things/people in a very bad way. And I am very thankful to my parents and Buddhism that I am not a misguided person. I have understood, the only solution to happiness and growth is care, love, and compassion, even if someone is a bad person in our eyes. Hatred and animosity (even at a subconscious level which most of the people actually do not realize) are not going to get us anywhere. I also believe Hitler or Bin Laden was a collective failure of us-humans. We have learned nothing from our mistakes (else terrorism would not have been a major issue today).Education- rationality coupled with love and compassion is I think the way to go ahead.If I have to say somebody has “class” then it does not depend on how much money that person has, or how beautiful that person is, or how that person impresses other people. It only depends on the fact, what core values that a person has and how that person sticks to it even in the worst situation or the most adverse situation in the life.Finding a life partner is extremely difficult because of plenty of reasons.I try to break the shackles of society. Questioning everything including (first and foremost) myself. It makes me sad, extremely sad, imagining, dark people, homosexuals, colonized world, women, all of them were discriminated. I really wish that tendency of discrimination against whatever does not “fit in” will eventually be gone.I like the metaphor and abstract things. Most of my friends and people really do not get me (or even realize what I wanted to convey), because I usually talk in a “metaphoric sense”. I avoid direct talking because direct communication really limits the things that I want to express. I feel languages do not have the right words that I can choose to express myself. And yes, I can be extremely honest in saying things without wrapping around it in a nice way, but that happens only with people I deeply care. And I do try my best to wrap around in a nice way but we never know which word triggers whom when. But from (subtle) reaction of others, I obviously adapt. Besides, I have always given freedom to dear ones that they can be nastily honest with me and I really do not mind. However, hiding things in the name of honesty or taking extreme stands is something I can not withstand. All in all, “direct language” comes from deep care, beyond the imagination of the others. But most of the time, I avoid direct talking.At the end, again, I just want to die because I feel so misunderstood, and if you come to me and tell me “open up” it is not gonna happen (there are people who have told me out of care and I really do appreciate them) because it takes a lot for me to trust anyone and even if I trust until I get those “vibes” (which happens extremely rarely), I will not open up. I am lucky to have one friend who is also INFJ and only that person tries best not to judge and is able to go in my shoes. I am also very lucky to have friends who do not completely get me but they accept me the way I am!! I think I am very very lucky. I have no problem people judging me, but please judge me for who I am (not for the projection of personality that you have created in your mind about me by attempting to fit me in by looking around).I have a very different notion of love. For me, love is universal. It does not have to be “non-platonic”. I can live under “one roof” with a person that I love, without having non-platonic stuff.I constantly look to hear the experience of a life of other humans and learn from it, it fascinates me. An idea of meeting strangers fascinates because I can learn something new, a new way to look at things and deep down I have hope somebody might get me - someday.I can not join a random group of people for “beers” to talk about the weather or which celebrity is doing what. If I am forced to, I do not end up being silent but I speak less, observe more unless a topic is meaningful. I absorb the emotions of strangers, people walking on the street, people who have not spoken a single word to me. I feel for them, I feel their sadness or happiness, I feel responsible for any sort of misery I observe (thinking what efforts do I put) and feel guilty and think about what can I do to improve the situation. And I try whatever is in my hand. All of these is very exhausting. Hence I need plenty of time alone while feeling I should meet more strangers!I daydream and daydream and daydream….. If an “average” person enters my mind then the person will for sure go crazy (I am not saying this with any sort of demeaning way or I also do not have any iota of intentions to underestimate the potential of the human mind).Love, love and peace, peace.H.EDIT: I thank everyone who has up-voted this answer. I was shaken to the ground since this one particular friend abandoned me saying “behave normally, you are not normal”. As I said earlier, I question myself first, and it is very hard to take because very very few people I have put my trust and tried to open up. I do not blame my friend, as I said, I never left in the friendship (which is the easiest solution to feel “better”) and I will never do because I care, with a pure heart and I believe I have no right to judge my friend.Edit 2: Since I can not reply to comments anonymously, I will reply here.Tyce Bruursema I was tested by professionals, not online. Here are the points:I 25 points E 6 pointsN 13 points S 9 pointsF 11 points T 11 pointsJ 13 points P 4 pointsSo I am at borderline for INFJ and INTJ but they asked me to write F in case of a tie. I also think that I am more feeler ;) ;).Michael Brajevich Really really thankful to you. Obviously, as you know I have spent quite some time thinking about what you said and it helped me a lot! I really needed that objective third person’s view. I am still thinking about the last sentence you wrote, in the sense, how am I going towards that blessing and what is it.Suddhi Li Thank you for your compliment and nice wishes. :) :) I wish you the same. I agree with you it is poignantly written, but I let it come out the way it did. Also, I am an optimistic person, I really am. :) :)Edit 3: I thank again all who have upvoted the answer. :) :)Something to share with fellow INFJs:I do not have to describe to you how it feels to be in this world but what helped me recently is therapy (Psychologist and Psychiatrist). If you find the right one. At least it helped me let things out because I do not have a habit of really sharing my absorbed emotions with anyone. We hold enough secrets about people which we will never let it out but at least we can let out our emotions and thoughts. Our point of view on things. Also, things are so abstract and fuzzy in my mind (I guess you, people, as well) and it helps to make it a bit of concrete. Writing also helps but I start daydreaming rather writing.Despite being aware of the fact that this dear friend has misunderstood my words and wishes nothing but ill of me, hatred and animosity, aggression continuously for more than three months, I did not doorslam my friend due to my utopian world which says everybody needs to be cared, loved and understood unconditionally. Despite the person tried to screw (passively as well as actively) my professional and personal life, I cared. Despite I was perfectly in position to get back very hard, personally and professionally, I did not exercise my power. And I suffered, at least initially thinking how come somebody has so much of ill-will? And despite all this, I cared! Truly and genuinely. In the end, today after one year, I feel much more in a superior position. It is a nice feeling. And it proves I follow my utopian world. Please do not doorslam people easily. Do not give up. I know we suffer at the end of the day by caring so much but it is worth it for everybody.The few things which I realised with help of a psychologist (the person is not a fan of MBTI but it is so interesting that the therapist more or less ends up saying what they say about INFJ): “I have a habit of rationalizing emotions. My utopian world is what makes me who I am, without it I will be void. Human themselves are contradictory, however, I am extremely aware of paradoxes within me. On the top of it, I can look at myself from third person’s point of view and my ability to walk into people’s shoes makes screws me up because then life and decisions are not black and white. What do I do in certain complex cases? Do I go ahead with my own interest(to preserve myself) or suffer understanding others? If I go with my own interest, it is against my utopian world, and if I walk in other's shoes, many times in life I end up suffering.” And that is pretty much our lives I believe. :) :)To non-INFJs, Few points:(At least for me) The best honor INFJ can give you is tell you something very personal. This is the ultimate honor and it means INFJ will go to the end of the world to do favors to you, to care for you, to make you laugh and stand by you no matter what. Your INFJ might sound blunt at the times but it will probably out of care. Deep care. And yes, do check what is the utopian world your INFJ is living into. It must not be like evil people I mentioned in point 8 above. INFJs take up some causes and dedicate their lives and I can see that why they do so. It is basically the world makes them who they are (like everyone else). Personal experiences. As long as you know your INFJ has a beautiful utopian world, try to clarify things which you do not like. I personally do not mind that at all! In fact, I appreciate as long as they do not bullsh** or tries to deceive me because mostly I just know it (that it is bullsh**)!I personally have a habit of praising/appreciating people on their back more than on their face. Though I frequently praise/appreciate people on their face more than they deserve but much more on their back.In around 10 sessions I had with my psychologist, two times the person cried. An extremely professional competent person. This speaks volume of my inner world, which honestly I have not shown to anybody completely and trying to show to the therapist.I do not go around and show what favors I do to people. At times, you will not even realise it unless someday some random person comes to you and says this is thanks to your friend.I have thousands of flaws like any other human being. Please do not consider INFJ is someone outside of earth, flawless. But as I said earlier multiple times, our mind functions very differently and if you put efforts to actually understand it, I promise that, you will find a person who is gonna stand next to you even though the entire world is against you, you will find that point of view and stands on topics so different and your intellectual as well emotional needs will never be disappointed. There is no free lunch in this world! ;) ;)Physical distance does not affect how close I feel to a person, in fact, it kind of increases my feeling. Though I do not actively stay in touch via social media but they are always-always in my mind! Wondering and worrying and caring about them in my daydreams (and by actions when possible)!I wish people do not carry their giant ego with them. For me, the point of life is to care, to love and to grow.I fail to understand why most people go by words or actions rather than intentions. Certain words or actions might be offensive to somebody and have an exactly opposite impact on somebody else. I believe it is only intentions that matter and for that one needs to have the ability to walk into other’s shoes.User-12998351530716738148 I completely understand what you meant by this burden comment. In fact, I believe if we start discussing here, a majority of people will call us crazy nuts! :P :P I also agree the majority of the answers are not from science fiction but people feeling so deeply. Furthermore, I think, for male INFJ which is the rarest personality type, by default we are marginalised. I say marginalised because there are not enough of us so that we impact enough on “average”. However, the worst feeling is to live feeling misunderstood because for me I sense it as there is not harmony. And that is what happened with this particular friend, despite giving fu** damn and going out of my ways to give damn, at the end I was misunderstood. Happens. Perks of being INFJ. :D :D but we both know what are the upsides. :) :)Debanka Chanda I am happy that you found worth sharing. :) :) Yeah, the world is a small place, maybe we will meet one day. I will keep your name in my mind. Obviously, until that day, I will not reveal my identity. ;) ;)Monali Banerjee I am happy that you felt you are not alone in the world to feel like this! :) :)@Michael: Somehow Quora could not find you while typing @ so could not tag you. Hopefully, you will read this blog again and stumble upon my reply. I am so happy that you really liked the monologue. :) :) :) :) My sincere thanks to you for your kind words. :) :) I also feel like the same i.e. knowing more people who resonate with me, just not to feel alien in this world. One of the reasons I am a bit messed up is that I have imbibed many cultures in me while traveling which leads to very peculiar stands in most of the topic. One of the difficulties for point 10 in the main text which I have not elaborated at all. But it is okay for me, I am trying to accept things as it is. :) :) Again thank you very much for your encouraging words. Meant to me. :) :)Saad Khan Yousafzai Thank you for your kind words and I am glad we got connected on this platform. Stay strong, and enjoy life. I wish you the best. :) :) I agree with you about “life would be easier for us” I think about it every day!!!!:/ :/ Everyday I feel like what I am doing here on this planet. I just at times do not feel like that I belong here in the sense, I feel so misunderstood! But I guess that is how it goes! :P :P :) :)Ugnius Kerulis Violet Rae Jake funkenhauser I thank you all that you found this worth sharing. :) :) I wish you the best.I so do feel like I want to reveal my identity but at the same time, I do not feel like :/ :/