Boris Johnson: Fill & Download for Free

Boris Johnson? - The New Prime Minister of the UK?The guy who once said and I quote[1] :Voting Tory (his party), will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances to have a BMW M3.This guy - who looks like Draco Malfoy’s fat stunt double on LSD - a specimen Tesla would have agreed to test electric currents on?The guy who cheer-led the biggest disaster in British History - Brexit?[2]The guy who was caught lying to British people over 37 times?[3]The guy who was caught red handed cheating his wife?[4]The guy who called Russian President Putin - Dobby, the house Elf?[5]The guy who called the European Union - badly designed underwear?[6]The guy who has been sexist, homophobic and racist all his public life?[7]The guy who won a poetry competition writing about Turkish President Erdogan fornicating a goat?[8]The guy who actually is the great-grandson of Ali Kemal, the last interior minister of the Ottoman Empire - who was exiled to Britain?[9]What do I think of Boris the Turk - the New Prime Minister of UK?Well, being the great-grandson of the former subjects of the British Empire myself - who’s been brought up on first hand accounts of the crushing, painful and humiliating British Imperialism - I’d like to repeat the words of an old fellow from Delhi, who died penniless in debt, thanks to the British, refusing to release his small pension:डरे क्यूँ मेरा क़ातिल क्या रहेगा उसकी गरदन पर,वो ख़ूँ जो चश्म ए तर से उम्र भर यूँ दमबदम निकले|हज़ारों ख्वाहिशें ऐसी के हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले,बहुत निकले मेरे अरमान लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले|Substandard Translation:Why should my killer be afraid of consequences oh dear?My blood will flow through my tears - for the rest of my years.A thousand wishes, a thousand desires, each worth dying for,Many got fulfilled to my heart’s content, the heart wants frikkin’ more.May god save the Queen - may god bless United Kingdom.Cheers and peace.Footnotes[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2019/07/23/boris-johnson-britains-incoming-prime-minister-his-own-colorful-words/?utm_term=.e0427dcdf721[2] Boris Johnson becomes PM with promise of Brexit by 31 October[3] 37 lies, gaffes and scandals that make Boris Johnson unfit to be Prime Minister[4] Cheating Boris Johnson Splits With Wife[5] All the insulting things Boris Johnson has said about foreign countries[6] Knickers to Cameron! Boris Johnson says EU is absolutely PANTS[7] Bumboys, hot totty and piccaninnies: Boris Johnson's long record of sexist, homophobic and racist comments[8] Boris Johnson wins 'most offensive Erdoğan poem' competition[9] Turks welcome 'Ottoman grandson' Boris Johnson as British leader

Here’s the amazing thing:He is still PM. He heads Government. He has a number of powers and duties related to that.But. He has no majority. Even counting the rather fragile pact with the DUP, he has alienated and kicked out enough people that there is now a somewhat stable majority in Parliament against him. This means he cannot get legislation through. This means he cannot even set the agenda in the way most Governments can. This means he cannot even get a general election to get him out of the fix.He is not “finished”. He is trapped.He will stay PM for as long as this is useful to the opposition, or until he resigns.Somewhere, someone sits and watches this unfold, and when he grows up, this will be the basis for a revival of Blackadder.

I think yes: if you look at photos of Boris Johnson when he was younger, there is no messy hair.I did love the description of him in one of the British newspapers the other day: “Johnson was dressed immaculately for his speech - not a hair in place.”