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AtlantaI am a 40-year New Yorker used to Manhattan's walk around exotic creature filled streets, riding the A train from the Bronx into Brooklyn through every ethnic barrio known to man, a city with ten thousand things to do and the best being eating at Rosie O'Gradies 11th avenue Diner where the waitresses sing Broadway songs and dance in the aisles. NYC is exotic what with entertainment laden story book night clubs and Irish bars begging more life experiences, hanging out with the NYPD at McSorelys and with the NYU academic types in Washington Square, having a beer at the Chelsea Place music and dance club riffing with the high achieving business and technology types along with the IBM, FBI, Secrete Serve, Network TV and Hollywood celebes. Or dancing the Two Step at the Texas Cafe in Tribeca and most of all enjoying the diversity world problem solving ideas found in Greenwich Village espresso cafes where very creative people - writers and producers assemble and writ large the acting and singing ganja scene.I was getting out of high tax New York, the cold and snowy winters were getting to me as I got too old to shovel five feet of snow, so I was moving south. Even though Atlanta was the most civilized part of Dixie and considered the New York of the south, I still heard a lot of bad things about Atlanta. My perception of Atlanta was that of a progressive city surrounded by a very conservative Tea Party confederate oriented Georgia. I found myself moving to warm and inexpensive rural Atlanta area for retirement and picked a new house in a development in Monroe, Walton County, a small town 40 miles on the outskirts of the Atlanta metro area. I quickly learned after I moved here, "the war ain't over, the confederacy ain't dead and the south would rise again." Between their Confederate flags, white Christian Right churches, hating all us Yankees and our demented values of personal freedom and appreciation for 'Live and Let Live' diversity, it could be a nice place.There wasn't much going on in the 1970s - 1980s south . . . still a backward, segregated, Bible Belt, ultra conservative bigoted region. Then there is Atlanta, a more progressive southern region that was working on joining the modern world. DEC had invested in Atlanta a Customer Support Center and was sending its northern big city sales and customer service teams to Atlanta for educational classes held out on the 285 perimeter. We would search out things to do in a southern city that was still segregated with limited night life options. We tried the Underground, it was shabby and unsafe, roamed downtown Atlanta and found little around. It was definitely not - a thousand things to do - New York City. In many ways Atlanta in the 80s was not too terribly different from what it is today. There was Marta, massive freeways, big league sports, the Arts Center and the world's busiest airport. Downtown was more of a business center, but most of the downtown and Midtown skylines were under construction. Lenox and Phipps were the premier shopping districts. Neighborhoods like Virginia Highland were fully gentrified (and pricey!), and the suburbs were growing like mushrooms. In 1982 one of our close friends moved "way out there" to Peachtree Corners in 1982 and now that's considered close in. You find yourself drinking a lot and you’re growing a pretty sarcastic beard, which weirds out all your friends because you can't actually grow a full beard. You have not a care in the world. The illusion has been shattered. Atlanta is not New York, LA, Chicago, DC, San Francisco, Miami, Austin, Portland, or even Cleveland. It’s a sexier Nashville with seemingly better people.Unlike other Southern cities like New Orleans, Savannah, or Charleston, Atlanta became an urban center relatively late, during the railroad boom rather than as a port city during the colonial era. From Civil War to Civil Rights, Atlanta has a very rich history, in two regards especially: it is the only American city to be burned to the ground during an act of war and then rising from the ashes (hence its symbol, the phoenix), and it was the birthplace and headquarters of Martin Luther King, Jr. during the Civil Rights Movement as well as the swiftest Southern city to integrate and abandon Jim Crow laws.This is the initial shock that Atlanta not only doesn’t suck, but is basically a magical land of mystical wonder, freaks, brilliant people, chicken biscuits, and butt-naked booty clubs that are somehow socially acceptable (and encouraged). Traffic is horrible and like playing Tetris with cars, and every day you lose people to accidents. People in Atlanta are into "Bling" and pretend to have more money than they do, and that’s mostly because they blew it all living above their means until they realized they could have played it smart and lived a less-ridiculous lifestyleAtlanta, compared to most cities in the South, is way ahead philosophically, but way behind major cities like NYC, Chicago and Boston. It will never have the mass transit, restaurants, diversity and sophisticated civilization of the north. It's still a southern city with lots of confederate baggage and I don't think that will ever change. There is a lot of corruption in the city, bad neighborhoods, Aids, crime, drugs, gun violence, and lousy education.Georgia is extremely slow! There isn't much to do out here, seriously. Everything is so far away. You MUST have a car if you want to get around because there are literally no trains out here, except maybe in the city. Taxis are very hard to find if you’re not in the city itself.Atlanta has long summers, usually around mid to high 80s, there are days in the 90s too. Politics in Atlanta is Democratic, outside its the confederacy and hard Christian right ultra conservative Republican - kinda like the black vs. white thing.Atlanta gets referred to frequently as Black Hollywood. It is, like Los Angeles and New York, a city in which no small number of celebrities feel it is important to maintain a presence. It was then - circa early 1980s - that we happened upon a black strip club called Foxy Lady. It was rough, it was one of those kind of motorcycle clubs, but I fell in love with strip right then, was just amazed at the atmosphere. It was the first time I ever experienced strip down here in the South. I didn't know you could get naked like that. They can, indeed, get nakeder down here than they can in many places. Strippers can be fully nude in Atlanta. They don't just get naked here, they get asshole-naked. You could tell me to get naked standing in this room and I might do it. Then you'd tell me to bend over? Nope. Like I said, the girls were rough in there and I wondered: What if you had some real pretty girls in the club? What the hell could happen then? We tried a new place called Magic City which opened in 1985 with a single dancer. But a single dancer with, as they say it, with a perfect balloon butt. Then they hired a woman named Indigo. She brought one of the first big butts in Atlanta. Just a big round perfect butt. You could bounce a quarter off of it." But no one had yet thought up the kind of butts that you find in the strip clubs of Atlanta now, the anatomically impossible, fantastical, warped, unlicensed-plastic-surgeon-designed asses that have blown the minds of people for many years. Alas, butts are just one ingredient that made Magic City into what it is today.In the 1980s, I have pleasantly been in Atlanta dozens of times for business meeting and product line training every year and gotten to know the city well. We bad boys happened upon a black strip club called Foxy Lady. It was rough, it was kind of like one of rough neck leather jacketed motorcycle clubs found in Manhattan, and a strip club too. A very raunchy strip club. I fell in love with the place right then, was just amazed at the atmosphere. It was the first time I ever experienced strip joint here in the South. I didn't know you could get naked like that. I mean nasty, totally, but hole bare ass naked. They can, indeed, get nakeder down here because they are much dirtier than New York. I never thought there could be such a place. They don't just get naked here. They get asshole-naked.You could tell me to get naked standing in this room and I might do it. Then you'd tell me to bend over with lip stick on? Nope. In fact . . . "Fuck You!" Like I said, the girls were rough in there and I wondered: What if you had some real pretty girls in the club? What the hell could happen then? We tried a new place called Magic City which opened in 1985 with a single dancer. But a single dancer with, as they say it, with a perfect balloon butt. Then they hired a woman named Indigo. She brought one of the first big butts in Atlanta. Just a big round voluptuous perfect butt. You could bounce a quarter off of it." But no one had yet thought up the kind of butts that you find in the strip clubs of Atlanta now, the anatomically impossible, fantastical, warped, unlicensed-plastic-surgeon-designed asses that have blown the minds of people for many years. Alas, big black butts are just one ingredient that made Magic City into what it is today.While I was in Atlanta during my countless business meetings, I drove around and found the region is growing, I saw literally thousands of new housing developments and commercial stuff going up. Atlanta gets referred to frequently as Black Hollywood. It is, like Los Angeles and New York, a city in which no small number of celebrities feel it is important to maintain a presence. Atlanta is not perfect, it is way ahead of most southern cities, but is way behind to major cities like NYC, Chicago and Boston. It will never have the clubs, mass transit, restaurants, diversity and civilization of the north. It's still a southern city with lots of confederate baggage and I don't think that will ever change.Endless sprawl is everywhere. City planners did not think at all when the area was booming. They will allow 100 homes to be built in a lot that is really suited for 70 homes, and the new subdivisions have one way in and one way out without stop lights. The place is an unorganized discombobulated mess. No side walks to accommodate joggers or walkers driving is a task only someone born here would think this place is A gem. If you are black and you think this is a paradise for blacks. WRONG get that out of you're head. But I do think that over all many blacks are better off in the south. In fact I will say that blacks better define the south these days. Politics in Atlanta is Democratic, outside it’s the confederacy and hard Christian right ultra conservative Republican - kinda like the black vs. white thing. If you get too far away from Atlanta, you enter real redneck territory. I stopped once in a Race Track in Jefferson, GA which just 30 to 45 minutes north of ATL. I heard two men talking about our president saying, "if that Nigger walked in here right now I'd kill em!" Dealing with people in Jefferson was like experiencing a Jerry Springer episode first hand.Atlanta is a nice, but a very uneven city. It's not a 'walk around' town because there are no sidewalks, street cafes, or neighborhood shopping off the street, the traffic is horrendous and there are few street crossing. In midtown, you could be driving down Peachtree, in awe of the beautiful downtown buildings, but take a wrong turn and on the very next street run into blocks of boarded up buildings with two black men sitting on the back of a Cadillac passing a joint greeting you. The gap between rich and poor here is very noticeable. Atlanta gets particularly hairy if you venture off the beaten path; you'll notice that there is suddenly a liquor store on every corner, people on foot everywhere you look, and even the gas stations look poorly maintained. I use 'uneven' to describe Atlanta because not two miles from this part of town I just mentioned is a gated community, a well paved street, and a few large and expensive houses. It seems like the poor sectors are fairly well hidden, but it's easy to notice the wealthy communities.House Hunting in the Atlanta AreaDuring the 1990s my wife and I traveled to Atlanta many times hunting for housing. As we drove south, the weather got hotter and hotter. When we pulled off for gas in Winchester, Virginia, the local drivers were extremely rude. If they tried these “it’s my road” in New York City, they would be run over by a truck. They really had terrible road manners, and I bet there were many local accidents. Another stop we made for gas was in a very rural area in Virginia. When I tried to pay for my gas, I could barely understand the older white lady who was behind the counter. She was very nice, smiled and laughed generously, but she suffered from an enormous southern accent and used words unknown to a northerner. There was nothing in this area but farms, so I imagine she grew up in these mountains in a farm family, worked hard all her life, and took this job on the interstate to help out at home. Later on, when we made out last stop in Georgia for gas, I could not understand what the young white teenager behind the counter was saying. He spoke so slowly and in a drawl filled with words I could not understand that it was difficult to pay for my coffee and get change. I gave up asking him to repeat what he said and counted my change carefully. He stood there talking this baffling southern drawl to other people around him. They all spoke in this strange language and I could not understand a thing they said. I thought, we were in a large town close to Atlanta and people would have to speak better English. I wondered how they could get by in school or mingle with society when they could not speak standard English. How could they relate to television and movies? Doesn’t the school system teach these kids how to talk? Then I thought, maybe everyone in this community, including the teachers, talks this way. This is the south!We start every day at the quick trip to buy a newspaper and take a drive to learn the Dekalb area. I find it is 100% black. Whenever I see a new housing development - and they are all over, literally hundreds of them - I stop in and look at the models. There are new housing developments on every road, especially near the Panola Road area. Brown Mills road and Covington Highway are loaded with developments of new homes. The highways are loaded with signs pointing the way to models in the low 100s, middle 100s, and upper 100s. Most of the houses are two story types, but there are plenty of ranch styles too. All homes had two car garages, two and one half baths, central air and heat, sodded and landscaped lots, curbs and cement drive ways, and buried utilities. There was no question that you get a lot more for your dollar in the Atlanta housing market. I found most of the houses to be extremely well built. They had open floor plans covered with rugs, tray bedroom ceilings, large kitchens lined with excellent wood cabinets, master baths with large tubs, dressing rooms, walk-in closets, showers and separate toilets. What you saw is what you got, there were few options in these models. They were already loaded with standard features. Options included nine-foot ceilings and wooden floors. Although I wasn’t crazy about many of the floor plans, I did like several colonials and all the ranches I saw. These were all in the $120 to $140 thousand dollar price range. Then I found some upscale developments that were in the $180 and up price range. These homes were beautiful and rich looking and three times better than my house. They contained 9 foot ceilings, 42 inch kitchen furniture-grade cabinets, brick fronts, hardwood floors, ceramic tile foyers and kitchens, and exquisite luxury designs with much more room. I would buy one of these in a second. After I visited Snellville and looked around, I was asking myself, when do we move?We drive out to Gwinnett county to Snellville which is still a majority white area, but is well integrated with about 30 per cent Blacks. The area looks like our Orange County area, but it is more developed. Here, congestion and traffic would be my concern. Interstate 78 runs through Snellville and it has every kind of store, mall, and restaurant known to man. It is a much more modern and developed area that Orange County and I liked it. The area was full of new real estate developments and some were close to the retail centers. Snellville is well integrated and the Whites were not running. Most of the people living here were immigrants from the North, especially New York. There was nothing old about Snellville. It was the personification of the New South and would be my pick if Bettie and I moved to Atlanta.Comparing Real Estate Markets - Atlanta vs. Orange CountyIn Orange County, New York, it costs about $100 a square foot to build a house. It only costs $80 a square foot in near-bye Pennsylvania - or less, while in Atlanta it costs around $30 a square foot to be a production house. Because there is no snow, Atlanta does not have four foot deep cement footings, or 2 x 10s joists and rafters. Mexicans build the homes and do an expert job for far less money than the union wages in New York.Taxes, government fees and labor laws add at least 20 per cent to real estate development in New York. The average cost of a house in Orange County is now over $175 thousand. Less than that will get you a used small bi-level older house in Scotchtown with anywhere from five to seven thousand dollars of local property taxes. The only houses getting built now are two-story colonials that start at $200 thousand. Similar houses in Atlanta are much cheaper. If you go to Rockland County, which is only thirty-miles away but closer to Manhattan, the average house is over $300 hundred thousand dollars. It is hard to compare apples to apples, because New York is so different from Atlanta. New York is an older area that has millions of rich people who live in wealthy neighborhoods filled with custom houses. The average person in orange county lives in a bi-level ranch or a small two story homes. But in Atlanta, average people can afford the two story colonials typically found in the well-to-do neighborhoods of the North.Considering all that, I find that the homes in the Atlanta area, compared to Orange County, are half as expensive with a fifth of the taxes. If I sold my house and cleared a $100 thousand out of it, that amount would buy a $225 thousand dollar house in Atlanta with 1/5 the taxes. And the Atlanta house would be better built. Why better, Mexicans build houses in Atlanta and they do a better job than the union people in New York plus the inspections are tougher and demand higher quality.Meeting Southern PeopleEvery time I am in the Atlanta area, I speak with many different people. Just going to Wal*Mart or the Home Depot was going to give me an opportunity to meet new people. When I was looking at new homes, I met some interesting people who were the hostesses in the model homes. They were fore-rightly honest and we talked about Atlanta’s racial make-up., which is to say, Atlanta is basically segregated, but not by law as years before, but by people living with their own kind, as they said. As a New Yorker, I found that disgusting. Own kind? I don’t measure people by race but by class and values. But Atlanta does have redeeming values. It’s called youthful enthusiasm and opportunity for Black people and had become an area full of the beautiful people.One young lady was at the Brayson home models in Snellville. Her name was Susan and she was born and bred in Atlanta. She said her grandfather is a bigot who hates Blacks and loves the Old South that represented slavery. Her father, on the other hand, was not a bigot, she said, but prejudiced. He stereotyped Blacks, thinking they were all dirty, but had a lot respect for many Black people he knew. He did not love the Old South and was embarrassed by it. Susan was a Christian and said she was so ashamed by her grandfather and father and prayed for their deliverance every day. She envied people like me who lived in a multi-cultural world. But she was afraid of the North and New York in particular. Susan considered everything ‘up North’ to be too big, too fast, and too dangerous. And of course, New York City was like a mysterious and foreign land. Susan was like so many Southern people I met. They had a great fear of New York City, but wanted to talk to me about what it was like. It was similar to the phenomena of “Tell me about your experiences in combat.”Barbara, another hostess I met in a model home on Covington Highway in a Black section, was born in Atlanta. Barbara is White, in fact she went to Farrington, Morgan’s school, when the area was White, about twenty years ago. She told me to look in Snellville and when I asked if she told me that because I am White and we were now in a Black area, she said yes. That opened the door to a frank discussion about race in Atlanta. I asked her why all the whites moved out when the middle and upper class blacks started to move into Dekalb County. She simply said “this is the South.” We talked about southern bigotry. Barbara said it was changing, but there were still many of the old timers around who believed in segregation. These people flew the Confederate flag and sent their kids to private school. She said that these Confederates lived much farther out in rural areas and do not bother the Black residents of the Atlanta area. However, they do still have their Ku Klux Klan meetings to intimidate and harass the progress of Blacks in the Old South. Only a few Confederates still lived in the immediate Atlanta area. Barbara was awed and enchanted by New York City even though she feared and hated it.To her, New York City represented everything exciting and immoral, it was forbidden fruit and that was what made it enticingly desirable. She talked about religiously watching NBC’s morning show and reveling in the scenes of people being interviewed in Rockefeller Center. Barbara was in love with Mat Lauer, the host of the morning show. Like many Southerners, Barbara had no idea that New York State was a mountain state. That it contained the Great Lakes, St. Lawrence Seaway, Finger Lakes, Lake Champlain and the Hudson and Delaware Rivers She thought all of New York was like Manhattan.Looking at New Houses, around Atlanta, all the neighborhoods are black, and there are no (very few) white people. After living in New York where all kinds of people are mixed and living in the same neighborhoods, Atlanta seems strange and disconnected from the real world. Or maybe there are not enough white people to go around and integrate all the many hundreds of black neighborhoods. But there was no question that you get a lot more for your dollar in the Atlanta housing market and I found most of the houses to be extremely well built. They had open floor plans covered with rugs, tray bedroom ceilings, large kitchens lined with excellent wood cabinets, master baths with large tubs, dressing rooms, walk-in closets, showers and separate toilets.Comparing Real Estate Markets - Atlanta vs. Orange County. In Orange County, New York, it costs about $100 a square foot to build a house. It only costs $80 a square foot in near-bye Pennsylvania - or less, while in Atlanta it costs around $30 a square foot to be a production house. Because there is no snow, Atlanta does not have four foot deep cement footings, or 2 x 10s joists and rafters. Mexicans build the homes and do an expert job for far less money than the union wages in New York where taxes, government fees and labor laws add at least 20 per cent to real estate development. The average cost of a house in Orange County is now over $175 thousand. Less than that will get you a used small bi-level older house in Scotchtown with anywhere from five to seven thousand dollars in local property taxes.I came back to New York feeling strongly that I could like to move to Atlanta because it is cheap and warm. And many blacks are finding Atlanta an opportunistic environment too, so many are moving there, including most of Bettie’s family. Atlanta is cheaper but its culture is very different from New York’s. I would have to put up with white southerners who are very opinionated and socially reclusive, still live in the segregated past and worship the confederacy and I would have to stay away from them! Atlanta is such a different culture and we would have to start over again to establish the recognition and reputation we enjoyed in New York but I think it would be impossible to achieve the same success in Atlanta. As White Southerners say, being from the North is bad enough, but being from New York is unforgivable. Bettie is against it, but if I pushed the issue, maybe she would agree to a move. I will look around in Pennsylvania to see what is offered there. Looking long-range, I think New York with its taxes is too expensive for Bettie and me to live in. Right now, we pay enough taxes to pay for a house payment in Atlanta.Moving to the Atlanta RegionThen I found myself moving to warm and inexpensive Atlanta for retirement where my perception was that of a progressive city surrounded by a very conservative Tea Party confederate oriented Georgia. I quickly learned after I moved here, "the war ain't over, the confederacy ain't dead and the south would rise again." Between their Confederate flags, white Christian Right churches, hating all us Yankees and our demented values of personal freedom and appreciation for 'Live and Let Live' diversity, it could be a nice place. Atlanta, compared to most cities in the South, is way ahead philosophically, but way behind major cities like NYC, Chicago and Boston. It will never have the clubs, mass transit, restaurants, diversity and sophisticated civilization of the north. It's still a southern city with lots of confederate baggage and I don't think that will ever change. There is a lot of corruption, bad neighborhoods, Aids, crime, drugs, gun violence, and lousy education.I found the people to be nice and southern hospitality is alive and well – on the surface. Underneath there is a southern culture that loves itself, fears the outside world and modernity, hold Yankees in loathing (especially New Yorkers) and loves fast food. There are lots of very obese people. The church is where people socialize; they are not used to the diversity of races, religions, ethnic types and different ideals and hang with people like themselves. Remnants of the old south are still around. I would say it’s all about two things, the reverence for the Confederacy and twisted believe systems around the Civil War – it had nothing to do with slavery they say and evangelism still runs the show here. Being a Christian conservative is square one to being elected.I live in a beautiful new development in Walton Cnty of ranch style homes and paid $200K with taxes of $900 for mine. This house would coast more than 500K in upstate NY with taxes of about 15K to 18K per year. But my development has a nerve wracking HOA - we don’t have them up north, and they worry about “Bling” here - grass and hedges and how many cars in your driveway. In my neighborhood in upstate NY people gathered for block parties and constantly visited each other as kids played in the street. It’s not like that in the south where people don’t intercourse socially – unless it’s in church.Living in Atlanta is a mixed bag. It's all about how loads of homeless people, a bar, gun / pawn shop is on every corner, along with pay by the month motels and used car lots with questionable titles is typically what you find within the I-285 perimeter which is also filled with modern skyscrapers, corporate headquarters, world class hotels and convention centers. I wonder, is it a southern thing that so many people seem to be very materialistic and attracted to appearances (how you look, what you drive, how big your house is, etc.). Atlantic traffic is fast, heavy and loaded with trucks, and I'd like to be able to let my kids outside to play without being constantly scared they will get squished by a car.I think Atlanta tingles with bling, crime and unnecessary racial sensitivity. At 60 percent, Atlanta is predominately a black city, the south side being black while the north side being white with Buckhead where the Governor and many celebrities live alongside Decatur my favorite section of town, which is the closest thing to Mayberry you'll ever find. In fact, articles have been written describing Decatur as "Mayberry Meets Berkeley." No particular area is completely wonderful nor completely safe. But in general, there are a lot of great places to live, both inside and outside the I-285 perimeter. Atlanta is, after all, a teeming 5 million population metropolis the same as New York City or Los Angeles. You gotta have a car. There is no way to walk to where you got to be and even though the MARTA rail and bus serves small parts of the city well, everything is spread out.So, how does Atlanta stack up overall? There are ten things about Atlanta that stand out. Horrible traffic and crime and schools got to be number one, two and three. Building a new world class Braves stadium with no parking is number four with "What the Hell were they thinking." Atlanta being an amazingly diverse place for being in the 'Deep Bible Belt' very judgmental South' is number five. The greasy spoon Varsity is number six, and is not only the world’s largest drive-in restaurant, but it’s also arguably Atlanta’s most famous "Greasiest" burger restaurant too. It's a bit divey, a bit touristy, and a definite fixture of Atlanta history. The Varsity is the real deal . . . a drive-in with car-side service in the old style. They also have indoor counter service and lots of seating. Most days, the restaurant claims to go through an estimated two miles of hot dogs, 2,500 pounds of potatoes and 300 gallons of chili. In ONE DAY. Those figures are still relatively slow compared to Georgia Tech game days, when The Varsity is visited by an estimated 30,000 people. Another fun fact? The Varsity’s been around longer than the famous Atlanta novel, “Gone With The Wind.” It's got to be on your 'Bucket List.' Actually, I love this place! A trip to Atlanta wouldn't be complete without a stop at The Varsity for chili dogs, onion rings and an orange frosty. So, whenever I am in Atlanta, whatever time of day it happens to be, we will stop at the Varsity and have something, like hamburgers or chili slaw dogs. I like them with their crunchy and somewhat greasy onion rings. This is stick-to your ribs (and roof of your mouth) comfort food. Ironically they have a sign that states they use a healthy oil . . . I suppose that's what lends the lite flavor to their very-good fries. Yes, you can find better food, better service, better location ... however it wouldn't be THE VARSITY, and as such just wouldn't be what this place is. As I said: this is the real deal. You will get hooked . . . I have been back a dozen times.Tonight the crew and I are hanging at the Lazy Lounge in Five Points. They have Mexican food so hot you could remove dried paint from your driveway. I tried some of their chili and it took me four beers to put the flames out. My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted a wicked Hershey mist and four people behind me said “Oh my God.” The server seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. It was then that we happened upon a black strip club called Foxy Lady. It was rough, it was like one of those rough motorcycle clubs found in NYC and I fell in love with the place right then. It was the first time I ever experienced a strip club down here in the South. I didn't know you could get naked like that. They don't just get naked here, they get asshole-naked. You could tell me to get naked standing in this room and I might do it. Then you'd tell me to bend over? Nope. Like I said, the girls were rough in there and I wondered: What if you had some real pretty girls in the club? What the hell could happen then?As long as we are talking down and dirty, the Clermont Lounge has to be number seven.This was a "thing' everyone in Atlanta has to do and is really worth writing long about. Located at the end of the dingy Clermont hotel with its rusty and deplorable look, there is the Clermont Lounge with the most eclectic crowd you can find in Atlanta. Big belly red necks mix with worn out COPs and shifty business types, black street hustlers and decrepit cowboy truck drivers. It's Atlanta's claim to fame for outrageous characters. There is a $10 cover that opens the door for experiences you will never forget. My first time there I walked down some seedy stairs behind an old hotel. Then you pass shifty retired prison guards security and walk into one of the lost circles of hell. The place was packed and smelled like an ashtray, the "club" is tiny and dirty, the broken down "bar" is a conglomeration of duck tape on top of the torn vinyl tiles. To the left there's a big stage where everyone is dancing and then in the back there are tables where the dancers that work there are mingling with guests. To the right when you walk in there's a (the one) big circular bar - and in the middle of that bar one dancer is on stage (rotating every few minutes) all night. It ranges - some young some old - all different shapes and sizes. All great people watching! There was a bandanna covered white haired Dixieland band playing while skinny wrinkled strippers were onstage dancing to the drums and wailing saxophone. We watched one dominatrix stripper spank the hands of tippers with a crop, the lady must have been in her 60's wearing a weird costumery boo peep peak tits and pussy getup.Definitely no place for prudes, so if you're expecting to find a fine wine no cussing smoke-free environment and you don't enjoy a raunchy grab ass good time, then this isn't for you. The qualities of this establishment is not the aging dancers, but how the uptight folks deal with each other. You watch them squirm. People-watching is key when visiting the Clermont, so keep your eyes open, and keep your narrow minds in the car. Laughter and conversation is good. Be entertained. Grab some wrinkled ass. The dancers will love you for it! This was the start of a fantastic evening of drinks / shots / naked ugly dancing women / more shots and breathing second hand smoke and finally getting drunk. I got to motorboat some breasts and spank them, so I'm not complaining. So let me tell you, If you are looking for a ritzy, classy night on the town, this is not the place for you. If you're looking to let loose, down some cheap drinks, and sing along to country classics, then head on down! The club is jammed packed, Extremely hot, nasty, jammed pack, did I mention hot?! Yes sir, this is not your typical strip joint. This is an Atlanta institution where people rarely go for anything except to say they have been to the Clermont and make new friends with the deplorables. The crowd consists of people who would probably never hang out together in their daytime everyday lives, but somehow this rowdy atmosphere is the perfect catalyst for coming out in rare form. You'll find all walks of life visiting this establishment - people you would never expect. So you shouldn't feel out of place. It's loud music and trashy white 'Adult Fun,' where aged strippers go to get the last strip in before death becomes them.The ladies are very unique looking, not your typical sweet young thing sexy dancers with big boobs with hot hooches. These old dancers are fun and sweet as pie . . . maybe not as sweet as your grandma, but nice! There's the old lady who uses a handheld light-up rainbow ball thingy to flash you her 'camel toe.' Then there's the lady who attaches sparklers to her nipples. There's also the young chick who dances to 90s pop rock, causing me to get all weirdly nostalgic. My favorite dancer had glow-in-the-dark panties that were slowly being eaten by her giant ass as she moved back and forth on the top of the bar. And, of course, there's the infamous Blonde'. She is the icon, the crème de le crème of Claremont Lounge, has been working here since they opened. I think she may have been one of the construction workers or maybe formed out of the rubble. She is a hustler but I can't resist, getting her to crush a beer can between her boobs for $5.00. That kind of entertainment pays for itself!I ended up sitting on the side of the bar where the dancers enter the "stage" and I really got to know them pretty well over the course of the evening. Here's the thing: everyone goes to this place because of the quirkiness of it, but sitting there while nursing my drink (s) it's pretty obvious that these women take their craft seriously. The girls are, to their credit, incredible - I suppose it is not easy to get up there and display to the world your wrinkled goodies - and they do show you all the goodies - roast beef and all . . . frankly they were great. The crowd is very mixed and this humid, seedy, smoke filled dive bar, fat bottom girl strip club can definitely be an "attraction" for bachelor parties and anyone who just likes to people watch for a good show. Apparently this is also a Celebrity attraction place.You are likely to run into someone famous here. The whole place was packed out with T-shirted big-bellied red necks, leather jacketed motorcycle gangs (no colors allowed) and business people in suits.Oh and I forgot the name of the dancer I met right away. She was from upstate New York Ithaca and her silicon filled tits were amazing. Most of the dancers are WAY past their prime. These are women you don't dream to have sex with but rather have a great time with kidding around. There was one who had the tits of a 20 year old and the saggy ass of the 60-whatever years she was. The "strippers" do their gig on top of the main bar. To say it’s a freak show is an understatement. These are ladies who look pretty rough around the edges and some are easily in their 70's. There is one blonde lady who looks exactly like Baby Jane and dresses like a German Beer hag. So she lifts her skirt if you give her money, and it’s hilarious if you are Steven Spielberg looking for a intercellular creature, but disturbing if you have a soul. Not a place for the faint of heart. I did see lots of breasts and pussy and meet cool weird people - all my type. I also questioned the legality of what was going on around me more than once.I will tell you, as an ex Navy man, the Clermont is much like a one night stand in Bangkok or Karachi. A night at the Clermont Lounge will change your life. For a prude it can become painful. As for me, I was trying to put it out of my mind and concentrate on other topics: Pulled teeth. Prostate exams. But nothing was going to change the reality: I was on a collusion course with destiny. Destiny was a fat women who was funny as hell who sat squirming and squealing on your lap and I liked her. Then there was Ruby and Porsha and the woman who sets her nipples on fire. The Clermont is not so much a strip club as a super divey basement bar with crazy people having fun with body-positive dancing women.This place is the real deal. There a side show performance featuring hooks, snails, and a performer who would only accept tips if they were taped to her body. I was also impressed by the strippers being so nice. They walk around and say hi. This is literally the least intimidating strip club ever. Between the nice older strippers not working hard for tips, to the super nice bartender, and the cheap drinks, it’s really a great hang out for people that love being out of the ordinary. It was fun and very odd and hot. This is a place you visit to cut loose and make memories. Just remember Ginger is my true love so if you see her tell her Jerry L recommended a lap dance from her. I sipped some Purple Thunders (which I'm sure is a mixture of purple Kool-Aid powder and Everclear), and we danced ourselves silly after we spent all our cash on the dancers and jukebox. The second hand smoke was awful and so was the bathroom, but the hilarious conversations with strangers and watching Blondie's infamous beer can trick made up for that. This place is the best dive bar and strip club imaginable. The women are from all ages of life and looks and they know it but don't be a jerk about it. No one likes people like that. This is a business, and they mean business so treat the ladies nicely, pay your cover charge, and enjoy the show. The best time to show up is around nine in order to get a spot at the bar. And going to Clermont Lounge for the first time is like losing your virginity all over again. It's awkward. It's dirty. It's sort of life-changing. But no matter how bad or how good your experience is, you want to do it again to see what's in store for your second rodeo. I can also see Clermont as an excellent venue for sales team building or acquiring a new blood brother or sister. Or contracting Hepatitis. Holy $hit, I need to go to church next Sunday but I am going back to the Clermont ASAP! . . . P.S. BTW ask for Barbie, the really hot big ass blonde with great tattoos! Tell her Jerry L sent you!The excellent reviews from native Atlantans that sparkle with love and friendliness is number nine. Couple that with "Hollywood mentality" of "rappers" and folks hanging around trying to "get discovered," mega church wannabe superstars, and those nasty liberal New York attitudes disparaging native faith based Christian values. All real Georgians wish that the folks from California, New Orleans and New York would go home so we could have their beautiful city back to the nice right wing conservative white place it was, but alas it was not to be. ALL of Georgia is backward now, and Atlanta is rightfully known as a "diamond in a pig's ass." Now it's just a bunch of over-bloated Ugly New Yorkian liberal messiness.Atlanta gets less 2 inches of snow per year, not per hour. There is still genuine southern hospitality. One can buy a nice house in the burbs for $250k, the public schools outside the city are fair to very, very good and suburban neighborhoods, by and large, are safe from violent crime. One thing that you just cannot ever get over is how green and lush this city of 5,000,000 people is. It is truly beautiful. Traffic is only a real problem if you choose to live in the suburbs and your work is downtown or on the other side of the city in a different suburb. Downside: Atlanta itself is a high crime city and it's mostly black on black crime. I lived and worked in New York city for thirty years and have never lived in a place like Atlanta where people are murdered EVERY DAY and robbery and home break ins are never ending. It's ridiculous, they don't just rob but they have to shoot you and most killings are by these ugly scary looking black thugs under the age of 25. The politicians are hopelessly corrupt and inept. Some areas are VERY southern, but much of the Metro area is a blend of transferees from around the USA. And finally number ten is the directions one gets when driving around. There are more than 40 Peachtree streets, they call them lanes, circles, west east, south or northern streets all having the name.