Inow Hoover: Fill & Download for Free

Oh that stingsif i maygo no contactwhy are you leaving the door open?if thirty years has passed i would have to ask you why have you not moved on? Im not sure what to say but research what no contact means.if you have been threatened document and take to authorities.then ild say if you even inow what hoovering is as a term then anyone who reads your question is going to ask you why are you playing into the hoover?they are getting supplyits very simplemaking it clear means utilizing healthy boundariesif an ex or a flying monkey from thirty years ago was harrassing me um yeah that would be a problemif you think he is delusionalas you are correct by stating he is delusional and its been 30 years - why are you messing with the bull when you know your going to get the horns?????

if i may:Not makes but madepast un healed traumaignorancecodependencylack of boundariespredisposition of dating, marrying, living or being raised by a narc. Even having a narc boss or colleaguewhen you lack the knowledge or insight that their are many flavors of cluster b types and just because you identify an overt for example does not mean a covert/sociopath may come along and you let your guard down because in your mind you only have the template of an overt. So study the traits, the spectrum and sub chategories. Narsoles come in many shapes , ages, sizes genders, ethnicities and religions. Give them time and space , true colors are always revealed in time and when you start identifying the “off” bag of tricks of cluster b bullshittery. It becomes easier to recognize when you do some researchyou have not wholistically healed or are balanced in all areas of your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual self.Poor self-esteem or a false negative narrative that says this is the best i am ever going to get, i have walled up and accepted the abuse and ill just accept crumbs because change is too muchtrauma bondscognitive dissonancespiritual abuseptsd might be present or stockholmesfear in all of its incarnationsthe cycles of abusenot getting the right help, ei a doctor or therapist that is not well educated on cluster b’sLonelinessnot forgiving or nurturing your injurred inner childlack of good parenting growing up , toxic home environments, past drug use and substance abuseyou are looking for “something” and a beautiful or handsome person appears to show up out of nowhere and becomes everything you wanted or needed (beware the wizard of oz behind the curtain phenominom)rushing in way too quickly after initially meeting or sex to engagemen and marriage in a very very short amount of time. Red flag red flag red flag!!!!!enabling the set up - silent treatment, stone walling or future faking … once you allow these tactics to take hold you drank the kool aide and narcy has you right where he or she wants you. You walked into the bear trap. Only way out now is to naw that leg off so to speakaccepting hoovers or not going full contacti would like to finish with those of us that saw things were off or saw the first red flags due to our kindness, forgiving nature, hope, blind faith, maybe even bad self esteem we gave them an inch and they took a mile. If your intuition says hey thats not right it is ok to question, to probe, to ask to see their phone or just flat out say no give me a minute i inow what i saw i know what i heard and no lying or gas lighting distraction or deflection. Get the truth. If you let one lie go your going to allow more lies go and they got you right by the short n curlies because they tested you and they found out how to further control you

the silent treatment. ………Knowing you are being punished but not sure why.• you ask why its going on then gas lit• happens again so you address it…. You are told different excuses …. Im so busy, my family, my job, driving to and from work, you dont understand, you try to problrm solve or find solutions you start playing mr/mrs fix it• happens again …. Boy you sure have trust issues…. Why do you always start fights? [apogizes even though your pretty positive your not starting a fight you are trying to make sense of the withdrawing] … nex “do you inow out of all my exes you are the only one that does this]•?• you apologize because you arent sure what the skinny is but if you just throw out an apology maybe they are just stressed and an apology will tame the anger , rage and let them know you love them and yes ill apologize because for some reason i get the sense you are mad at something i did?!… the nex devalues you and then gets out the whip…. You know all i ever hear from you is your sorry your sorry maybe you dont get how pathetic you are being if you wouldnt start fights you wouldnt have to apologize and your apology means nothing because you keep doing it and im tired of you saying it.Now by this time im so full of cognitive dissonance and embarrassment i think im really pathetic that i am this apparantly bad at relationships•withdrawl is the only option left to preserve the lions roar and not make any more mistakes• nex shifts gears and is now calling, texting (but) usually at times when he knows im at spin class or driving home from work or on fridays when its colleagues social night out leaving this message here on my cellphone was the final kicker of the s.t. :….. “how come you never call. Just because you call or text and i dont answer you back doesnt mean i am not thinking about you. Now you dont even call me … I dont understand …you say i dont call or text you but you dont try to call me or text me. What is going on with you?See i am trying but you are always now at the gym or with your friends. I call and your not there…. Hope you had a good time….(said sarcastically and made to illicit guilt, shame and more cognitive dissonance or gas lighting) it was the worst whiplash i can remember. Nothing i did was right. I felt like a limpnoodlei swear five years of this was the errosion of sanity, logic, it was sadistic, it was calculated, it was planned, it was control, manipulation, it caused years of the push - pull , i felt like anything i said didnt say or do was going to turn into a cul de sac arguement and ild pick up the phone and ask my friends /family does your spouse ever do this to you? Of course not so you have no compass, you have no one in your circle that can explain to you this is npd abuse.No one has answers and you feel like you are disconnecting with reality because this has never happened to you before and if you are as fucked in the head as they make you out to be well then why are you with me? the nex doesnt ever explain why he stays if i am this rotten ……Why are we going on five years of this?i remember before the final discard wanting to record my conversations and i had a note pad. (True story) i would keep a note pad with facts, data, patterns, times and come backs so when the jedi mind games or linguistic gymnastics would start i could just refer to my cheat sheets to keep the conversation in the right lane at all times.This always ended in more frustration. It never ever worked. I was always shredded and evisceratedThe arguements became more blame games, the nex could think three steps ahead and do circles i swear as if he had a white board to refer never mind my little pad of paper.i knew this was off i knew this was not normal and i felt ultimately if he can disprove of even my cheat sheets no he was not off , it means that i must be the one wearing the crazy pants.never in my life will i allow someone to do this to me again . Anyone that disrespect my thoughts, feelings and maneuvers meto question my own reality and poo poo the abuse needs to go.abuse can take many forms and when it happens over long periods of time your abuser is masterfully playing you like a puppeteer. Any person who ever tells you a npd is just a sick disordered individual with an illness and they are just products of their pathology /environment so dont resent them or be angry or blame themnoooo … mic drop.!!!!!!do i believe cluster b’s are akin to having color blindness ? Yes i do …..do i think they are ill? Yes. Wether they all awake or aware …. No not all but i can promise you this in their heart of hearts they know they are off and they know they are abusing you because they test you groom you love bomb you and know your strengths and weaknesses and they take all of that and will do a dine n dash or hit n run.i dont care if any therapist or specialist says give them empathy and give them a pass because they are sick. No. Forcing me to forgive my abuser is for me to come to grips with not for you to push because you did not go through what i went through. I will forgive on my terms and it wont be without a jaundiced eye.this idea i have been reading as of late on quora that abuse victims have to tread lightly because npds are the victim or have a condition is ludicrous absolute victim shaming.Get your ass kicked and then say well you really honestly are diagnosable under the dsm five so for your healing just give them a light pass because thats the right thing to do yeah no the right thing to do is to sayyou premiditated you controlled you manipulated you shamed concored controlled concealed convinced gas lit lied ommitted repeated false narratives so explain to me how that level of malignancy deserves a pass ? Pass for whom? Why are you minimizing abuse victims trauma and experiences by saying their cluster b bullshittery trumps your own abuse experience? You cant heal if you dont accept your role and theres in the interfacingthis is why its still ok to perpetuate falsehoods sbout abusewhy nurses still get punched in the face and your head nurse asks you what could you have done differently to upset the patientthis is why men abuse women in politics, the eorkplace, sexual violence, spiritual abuse the list gors on snd on ad nauseumim sick of reading allegedly supportive narc abuse supporters victim shamans on here and telling victims that your healing journey starts when you have compassion for their illnessesum no ill challenge that by saying your healing journey is blooming when you no longer hate or love them. When they just become part of the past you wont repeat and youll utilize good boundaries and keep focussing on your health and wellness as well as goalsyou look at your nex or abuser with apathy and a sort of bland numbness with no real extreme feelings of missing/loving them/ wanting thembackto even not hating them …. you just kind of see them as a vague sort of apparation. You just hand over the rest of their lives up to godor whatever your faith isyou just let it go from there because your not a judge or a jury you were a participant. But the ones telling you to make peace with their illness is very similar to how we got duped in the first place. We saw red flags or things that were off and we became their greatest ( supply) and enablers … we fell preyyou fallprey when you are open wide for the hoover you fall prey when the covert puts on the victim maskyou fall prey when they test you , and they were successfuland you didnt walk at firstyou fall prey when you react to flying monkeys you fall prey when you think you havent prayed hard enough or been to the right couples therapist you fall prey when you choose walking on egg shells instead of walking out the doorso i call bullshit tonightno im not personally willing to go round that psychotic burning dumpster fire.It will be so healing for you when there is no loving them or even not hating them …. you just kind of see them as a vague sort of apparation. You just hand over the rest of their lives up to godor whatever your faith isyou just let it go from there because your not a judge or a jury you were a participant. But the ones telling you to make peace with their illness is very similar to how we got duped in the first place. We saw red flags or things that were off and we became their greatest ( supply) and enablers … we fell preyyou fallprey when you are open wide for the hooveryou fallprey when the covert puts on the victim maskyou fall prey when they test you , and they were successfuland you didnt walk at firstyou fall prey when you react to flying monkeysyou fall prey when you think you havent prayed hard enough or been to the right couples therapistyou fall prey when you choose walking on egg shells instead of walking out the doorso i call bullshit tonightno im not personally willing to go round that psychotic burning dumpster fire.