Application 09-10 - Early Childhood Learning: Fill & Download for Free

User-9902358067329070481 has a decent reading list on this: http://sivers.org/bookHere's the excerpt if you don't want to jump to the site.The Personal MBA - by Josh KaufmanISBN: 1591843529 READ: 2011-02-16 RATING: 10/10Wow. A masterpiece. This is now the one “START HERE” book I'll be recommending to everybody interested in business. An amazing overview of everything you need to know. Covers all the basics, minus buzz-words and fluff. Look at my notes for an example, but read the whole book. One of the most inspiring things I've read in years. Want proof? I asked the author to be my coach/mentor afterwards. It's that good.The War of Art - by Steven PressfieldISBN: 0446691437 READ: 2012-01-05 RATING: 9/10Have you experienced a vision of the person you might become, the work you could accomplish, the realized being you were meant to be? Are you a writer who doesn’t write, a painter who doesn’t paint, an entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what “Resistance” is. This book is about that. Read it.Thinking, Fast and Slow - by Daniel KahnemanISBN: 0374275637 READ: 2011-12-08 RATING: 9/10If you liked “Predictably Irrational” or “Stumbling on Happiness” or any of those pop-psychology books, well, this is the Godfather of all of their work. Huge thorough book gives a great overview of much of his work. Read the other quotes on Amazon about it.The Lean Startup - by Eric RiesISBN: 0307887898 READ: 2011-10-23 RATING: 9/10EVERY entrepreneur should read this book! Its methodology is the one I recommend the most. The stuff I preach is like a cute casual intro to the real deal: the Lean Startup methodology. (As an aside: this book is the one that pushed my book out of the #1 slot on Amazon's Entrepreneur charts. Quite an honor.)Power of Full Engagement - by Jim Loehr and Tony SchwartzISBN: 0743226755 READ: 2011-09-03 RATING: 9/10The authors worked with the best athletes and executives for years, and found that the best ones knew how to push themselves, then recuperate, push, recuperate. Take this same approach to your emotional, mental, physical, and even spiritual life, and it's a powerful metaphor. Think of sprints, not marathons. Be fully in whatever you're in, then give time to recuperate. But push futher each time, past your comfort zone, like a good exercise plan.What Got You Here Won't Get You There - by Marshall GoldsmithISBN: 1401301304 READ: 2011-08-22 RATING: 9/10Aimed at already-successful people. The personality traits that brought you to success (personal discipline, saying yes to everything, over-confidence) are the same traits that hold you back from going further! (Where you need to listen to lead, and don't let over-confidence make you over-commit.) Stinging counter-intuitive insights that hit very close to home for me. Great specific suggestions for how to improve.Switch - by Chip Heath and Dan HeathISBN: 0385528752 READ: 2010-05-10 RATING: 9/10Great great great great GREAT psychology book about real ways to make change last - both personal and organizational. So many powerful insights, based on fact not theory. Inspiring counterintuitive stories of huge organizational change against all odds. Highly recommended for everyone.The Investor's Manifesto - by William J. BernsteinISBN: 0470505141 READ: 2009-11-12 RATING: 9/10Absolutely my favorite author and advisor on the subject of investing. Anyone with any money to invest (or already invested) please read this book. Such clear thinking, using only facts, and using numbers not guesses. Modern portfolio theory: use passive indexes of the entire market, no speculation, no stock picking, and avoid the entire fee-sucking financial industry.How We Decide - by Jonah LehrerISBN: 0618620117 READ: 2009-11-10 RATING: 9/10Brilliant book with one clear message: our emotional brain is faster and usually smarter than our logical brain. Our emotions are trained by years of logic and experience, retaining it all for real wisdom. Many decisions are better made by going with the gut feeling. Gets a little too technical with deep brain/neuro/cortex talk, but brings it back to usable points.Influence - by Robert CialdiniISBN: 006124189X READ: 2009-08-15 RATING: 9/10Classic book on the psychology of persuasion. I read it 15 years ago, thought about it ever since, and re-read it now. How to get a 700% improvement in volunteers. How to sell more by doubling your prices. How to make people feel they made a choice, when really you made it for them.The Time Paradox - by Philip Zimbardo and John BoydISBN: 1416541993 READ: 2009-04-03 RATING: 9/10See my in-depth article about this book at sivers.org/timePersonal Development for Smart People - by Steve PavlinaISBN: 1401922759 READ: 2008-12-27 RATING: 9/10A surprisingly great broad and unflourished look at all different aspects of self-improvement. Really great insights from someone who's read them all.Predictably Irrational - by Dan ArielyISBN: 006135323X READ: 2008-08-11 RATING: 9/10My favorite type of book: pointing out and understanding all of the counter-intuitive things people do.The 4-Hour Work Week - by Tim FerrissISBN: 0307353133 READ: 2008-05-15 RATING: 9/10Brilliant reversal of all of the “how to manage all your crap” books. This one tells you how to say “no” to the crap, set expectations on your terms, and be just as effective in a fraction of the time. This is perfect for musicians with other responsibilities (day jobs) that need more free time to actually make music!The Wisdom of Crowds - by James SurowieckiISBN: 0385721706 READ: 2008-04-16 RATING: 9/10Mind-blowing examples of how groups of diverse people acting independently are smarter than any one person in the group. Has huge implications for management, markets, decision-making, and more.The Paradox of Choice - Why More is Less - by Barry SchwartzISBN: 0060005688 READ: 2007-07-11 RATING: 9/10Faced with many options or decisions in your life? This will change the way you look at them. We feel worse when we have too many options.Made to Stick - by Chip Heath and Dan HeathISBN: 1400064287 READ: 2007-03-12 RATING: 9/10Actually analyzing what makes certain ideas or stories more memorable than others! Fascinating. Apply this wisdom to your songs, bio/story, communication with fans, etc.The Innovator's Solution - by Clayton ChristensenISBN: 1578518520 READ: 2006-09-21 RATING: 9/10Required reading for business-owners and investors. Shows how technology improves faster than people's ability to use it, so when someone says a technology is “not good enough”, add “yet” and prepare for disruption.Small is the New Big - by Seth GodinISBN: 1591841267 READ: 2006-09-08 RATING: 9/10My favorite author, by far. I’m a massive fan and disciple. A collection of his short insightful posts from his blog, all thought-provoking and inspiring for anybody marketing anything, even music. (Seth was a CD Baby client and fan.)The Art of Profitability - by Adrian SlywotzkyISBN: 0446692271 READ: 2005-12-02 RATING: 9/1025 different models of profitability presented in examples you can relate to your own business, making you realize profit-sources you’d never thought of before.E-Myth Revisited - by Michael GerberISBN: 0887307280 READ: 2004-02-26 RATING: 9/10Everything needs to be a system. Think of your business as a franchise prototype. You should be able to hand the “how-to” manual to just anyone, to do it as good as you.The Passionate Programmer - by Chad FowlerISBN: 1934356344 READ: 2012-01-15 RATING: 8/10Wonderful book about the art, craft, and passion of being a great computer programmer. Loved the analogies to being a musician: sight-reading, being the worst member of the band, understanding new styles of music, practicing just for improvement, etc.Willpower - by Roy Baumeister and John TierneyISBN: 1594203075 READ: 2011-09-09 RATING: 8/10You have a finite amount of willpower that becomes depleted as you use it. Two traits that consistently predict “positive outcomes” in life: intelligence and self-control. Most major problems, personal and social, center on failure of self-control. When people were asked about their failings, a lack of self-control was at the top of the list. So let's talk about self-control....Poke the Box - by Seth GodinISBN: 1936719002 READ: 2011-03-15 RATING: 8/10Awesome short manifesto about getting into the habit of starting things. Inspiring as hell. Go go go!Hackers & Painters - by Paul GrahamISBN: 1449389554 READ: 2010-08-20 RATING: 8/10A collection of essays from one of the best. Loosely about intelligence, entrepreneurship, programming, and questioning norms. Many brilliant ideas and insights.Confessions of a Public Speaker - by Scott BerkunISBN: 0596801998 READ: 2010-06-28 RATING: 8/10Best book on public speaking. A must-read if you do this at all. Great concrete advice and personal tales.The Talent Code - by Daniel CoyleISBN: 055380684X READ: 2009-08-22 RATING: 8/10A great book showing that deep practice - (struggling in certain targeted ways - operating at the edges of your ability, where you make mistakes - experiences where you're forced to slow down, make errors, and correct them) - is what really makes you improve at anything.Ignore Everybody - by Hugh MacLeodISBN: 159184259X READ: 2009-06-28 RATING: 8/10Brilliant succinct wisdom on creativity from an artist. Seth Godin says, "Hugh harangues and encourages and pushes and won't sit still until you, like him, are unwilling to settle." I highly recommend this to all musicians, artists, and entrepreneurs. Even those that prefer not to read much. :-)What Would Google Do? - by Jeff JarvisISBN: 0061709719 READ: 2009-03-05 RATING: 8/10Great think-piece about lessons learned from Google's approach to things, and how they might approach different industries like airlines, real estate, education, etc.CrowdSourcing - by Jeff HoweISBN: 0307396207 READ: 2008-08-27 RATING: 8/10Great look at a different way of getting a project done: not outsourcing it to a person, but developing a system where thousands of people can contribute a little bit.Meatball Sundae - by Seth GodinISBN: 1591841747 READ: 2007-12-30 RATING: 8/10Instead of asking how to use the new internet tools to support your existing business, ask how you can change your business to take best advantage of the new tools.Execution - by Larry Bossidy and Ram CharanISBN: 0609610570 READ: 2007-02-12 RATING: 8/10Great in-depth look at the dirty discipline of getting things done in a large organization.Getting Things Done - by David AllenISBN: 0142000280 READ: 2005-04-30 RATING: 8/10Classic book with near-cult following. How to manage every last itty bitty tiny thing in your life. Keep your inbox empty.The 48 Laws of Power - by Robert Greene and Joost ElffersISBN: 0140280197 READ: 2003-05-06 RATING: 8/10Warning: some think this book is pure evil. But power exists, so it can only help to understand it better, even if you choose not to wield it.The Power of Habit - by Charles DuhiggISBN: 1400069289 READ: 2012-03-01 RATING: 7/10Great dissection and analysis of what creates habits, and the power of changing just one of three steps in the habit loop.You Are Not So Smart - by David McRaneyISBN: 1592406599 READ: 2011-11-15 RATING: 7/10Great summary of 46 cognitive biases. Much of it covered in other books like Predictably Irrational, but if you haven't read those, this is a great starting book. Otherwise, just a good reminder, and worth reading.Practicing Mind - by Thomas SternerISBN: 0977657205 READ: 2011-05-27 RATING: 7/10Great simple philosophy: Life itself is one long practice session. Everything in life worth achieving requires practice. Practice is not just for artistic or athletic skill, but practicing patience, practicing communication, practicing anything you do in life. The process/practice itself is the real goal, not the outcome.Mindset - by Carol DweckISBN: 0345472322 READ: 2010-11-27 RATING: 7/10Crucial distinction: People in a “fixed” mindset believe that you *are* great or flawed. People in a “growth” mindset believe your greatness (or flaws) are because of your actions. The fixed mindset is very harmful in every area of life (work, art, relationships, business, etc.) We get our initial mindset from our environment. When parents say, “You are great,” instead of ”You did great work,” they accidently create the “fixed” mindset.Start Small, Stay Small - by Rob Walling and Mike TaberISBN: 0615373968 READ: 2010-11-16 RATING: 7/10Great how-to guide about being a micropreneur: an entrepreneur running many small but profitable businesses.Making a Good Brain Great - by Daniel G. AmenISBN: 1400082099 READ: 2010-07-28 RATING: 7/10About the care of the physical brain - the goo in your skull - from a doctor who scans brains and has linked specific behavior to brain chemistry.I Will Teach You To Be Rich - by Ramit SethiISBN: 0761147489 READ: 2010-03-23 RATING: 7/10An amazing book about consumer finance and a healthy approach to managing your money. If you are age 18-35, this is a must-read! My notes are scarce, so get the book. Even if over 35, you might find some good tips on lowering your fees on various services, and a good reminder of good savings practices.Business Stripped Bare - by Richard BransonISBN: 1905264429 READ: 2010-02-17 RATING: 7/10A real and specific description of the inner workings of the Virgin companies. Every entrepreneur, investor, and manager should appreciate this detailed account of practices, philosophies and stories from the core.Talent Is Overrated - by Geoff ColvinISBN: 1591842247 READ: 2009-11-16 RATING: 7/10Talent is not innate - it comes from thousands of hours of deliberate practice: focused improving of your shortcomings. That's it. If you can get past the first 20% of the book that just asks questions, the next 60% is quite good.Never Eat Alone - by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl RazISBN: 0385512058 READ: 2009-07-26 RATING: 7/10A good book that's mostly about networking, but also some general business smarts. Definitely read if you need more work being social.Reality Check - by Guy KawasakiISBN: 1591842239 READ: 2009-03-08 RATING: 7/10Great collection of essays about entrepreneurship from his blog at blog.guykawasaki.comYou, Inc - The Art of Selling Yourself - by Harry BeckwithISBN: 0446578215 READ: 2008-07-26 RATING: 7/10One of my favorite authors, and a massive inspiration for my e-book. This is his newest, but read anything he’s done. It’s all top-notch insights on making life easier by being more considerate, whether you call that marketing or just life.The Ultimate Sales Machine - by Chet HolmesISBN: 1591842158 READ: 2008-06-12 RATING: 7/10After reading E-Myth Revisited, this is the best book I’ve seen on how to turn it into real results, step-by-step. Not ambiguous. Very “do it like this”.The Art of Learning - by Josh WaitzkinISBN: 0743277457 READ: 2008-05-30 RATING: 7/10Chess master becomes Tai Chi master, realizes his real genius is learning, and shares his insights and stories.Here Comes Everybody - by Clay ShirkyISBN: 1594201536 READ: 2008-04-06 RATING: 7/10Like Wikinomics and Crowdsourcing, required reading if interested in harnessing the collective power of people online.Maximum Achievement - by Brian TracyISBN: 0684803313 READ: 2006-11-12 RATING: 7/10A classic self-help book. Exactly what you'd expect. But very good.Linchpin - by Seth GodinISBN: 1591843162 READ: 2010-12-11 RATING: 6/10For someone who has a job at a company, I would call this essential reading with my highest recommendation. Since I haven't had a job since 1992, I couldn't apply many of his great points to my life. Still I loved his reminder of the value of the brilliant workers instead of systemized workers. The opposite of E-Myth (another book reviewed here).Cognitive Surplus - by Clay ShirkyISBN: 1594202532 READ: 2010-12-10 RATING: 6/10I always love Clay Shirky's insights into the internet culture. This is about how all the spare time people are using to add to Wikipedia, create YouTube videos or LOLCats, is previously time they were passively watching TV. Perhaps passive watching was a temporary habit that lasted 80 years, and now we're going back to a more participatory culture?Art and Fear - by David Bayles and Ted OrlandISBN: 0961454733 READ: 2010-11-23 RATING: 6/10For artists and musicians only: beautiful insights into the creative process.Nudge - by Richard Thaler and Cass SunsteinISBN: 014311526X READ: 2010-08-15 RATING: 6/10Introducing the idea of Libertarian Paternalism: influencing people's behavior for their own benefit, without forbidding any options or significantly changing their economic incentives.Being Logical: A Guide to Good Thinking - by D.Q. McInernyISBN: 0812971159 READ: 2010-03-15 RATING: 6/10World getting too fuzzy an unreasonable? Watching too much TV? A good book on logic is a great antidote. I'd never read one before, so I don't know how to compare it to others, but I really loved the clear thinking and deep insights here.Pomodoro Technique Illustrated - by Staffan NötebergISBN: 1934356506 READ: 2010-01-11 RATING: 6/10Pretty cool technique of working in 25-minute chunks. Better to start with a simple article about it, then read the book after if you love it. I do, so far.Pragmatic Thinking and Learning - by Andy HuntISBN: 1934356050 READ: 2009-11-03 RATING: 6/10A great curated collection of facts about how to learn effectively and think clearly. Since it's written by a programmer, it makes many computer analogies that fellow programmers will appreciate. Non-programmers might feel a little left out.Why Smart People Make Big Money Mistakes - Gilovich and BelskyISBN: 0684859386 READ: 2009-10-19 RATING: 6/10My favorite genre of book lately: clear examples of bugs in our brain: where our intuition is wrong. But this one focuses just on money issues. Loss aversion. Sunk cost fallacy. Confirmation bias. Anchoring. Etc. I love this stuff.Outliers: The Story of Success - by Malcolm GladwellISBN: 0316017922 READ: 2009-04-23 RATING: 6/10Deep study of why some people are so much more successful. Often due to circumstances and early opportunities, but really comes down to the fact that it takes about 10,000 hours of hard work to master something.Lucky Or Smart? - by Bo PeabodyISBN: 1439210101 READ: 2009-04-23 RATING: 6/10Tiny book by an incredibly successful serial entrepreneur telling his tales and lessons learned.The Power of Less - by Leo BabutaISBN: 1401309704 READ: 2009-01-21 RATING: 6/10Identify the essential. Eliminate the rest. Set limitations. Become incredibly effective. Written by someone who's been successfully living this way for years.Tribes - by Seth GodinISBN: 1591842336 READ: 2008-11-17 RATING: 6/10Inspiring look at what it takes to organize and mobilize groups of people.How to Talk to Anyone - by Leil LowndesISBN: 007141858X READ: 2008-09-12 RATING: 6/10Wonderful considerate book about conversational people skills.Brain Rules - by John MedinaISBN: 0979777704 READ: 2008-08-26 RATING: 6/10New scientific insights into why our brains work this way, and how to use what we now know to learn or work better.Cut to the Chase - by Stuart LevineISBN: 0385516207 READ: 2008-07-26 RATING: 6/10Tips on more effective communication.The Magic of Thinking Big - by David SchwartzISBN: 0671646788 READ: 2008-07-26 RATING: 6/10A classic self-help book. Exactly what you'd expect. But very good.How to Get Rich - by Felix DennisISBN: 1591842050 READ: 2008-06-18 RATING: 6/10Shockingly honest thoughts from a filthy rich bastard.The Culting of Brands - by Douglas AtkinISBN: 1591840961 READ: 2008-02-08 RATING: 6/10Unique fascinating dissection of cults and why they work. Then how to apply those lessons to marketing your business.Don't Make Me Think - by Steve KrugISBN: 0321344758 READ: 2007-08-08 RATING: 6/10The classic book of web usability. Required reading for anyone who makes websites.Know-How - by Ram Charan with Geri WilliganISBN: 0307341518 READ: 2007-02-12 RATING: 6/10Acquired expertise in big business. Subtitle: 8 Skills That Separate People Who Perform from Those Who Don't.The Art of Project Management - Scott BerkunISBN: 0596007868 READ: 2006-11-19 RATING: 6/10The best book on how to oversee projects to completion.Little Bets - by Peter SimsISBN: 1439170428 READ: 2011-05-10 RATING: 5/10Examples of the fact that much success or creativity comes from trying many things, failing fast, getting feedback, trying more things, and deliberate practice. Stories from Pixar, Chris Rock, Silicon Valley, Frank Gehry.Focus - by Leo BabautaISBN: 1434103072 READ: 2011-01-17 RATING: 5/10Nice short reminder of the importance of solitude and focus. Single-tasking. Only doing your most important things, and let the rest go.The Upside of Irrationality - by Dan ArielyISBN: 0061995037 READ: 2010-07-05 RATING: 5/10First read his amazing book “Predictably Irrational.” But if you read and loved it, then this is a continuation with some more examples - mostly organizational. He also catharticly details his own painful injuries in every chapter.The Profit Zone - by Adrian SlywotzkyISBN: 0812933044 READ: 2009-10-14 RATING: 5/10Dryer but deeper prequel to the great “Art of Profitability” book, also recommended here. Start with that one. Only read this if that one fascinated you.Overachievement - by John EliotISBN: 1591841313 READ: 2009-07-04 RATING: 5/10Performance coach, with a bent towards sports, surgery, and executive performance, gives his thoughts on being a top performer. The key is the "Trusting Mindset": like a squirrel runs across a telephone wire. Just doing it, without thought, because you've trained yourself plenty until that point.The Culture Code - by Clotaire RapailleISBN: 0767920570 READ: 2008-11-01 RATING: 5/10Weird look at how different cultures (mostly Europe versus U.S. in this book) see things differently. Example: British luxury is about detachment whereas U.S. luxury is about rank.Richard Branson - Losing My VirginityISBN: 0812932293 READ: 2008-06-01 RATING: 5/10Autobiography of his life from childhood through 2004. Interesting how he was always over-leveraged and how that drove him forward. Amazing how he negotiated Necker Island from £3 million down to £180k.The Checklist Manifesto - by Atul GawandeISBN: 0312430000 READ: 2011-12-25 RATING: 4/10Like Malcom Gladwell, a book that could and should have been an article, but puffed up with 200 pages of supporting stories, mostly great detailed tales of his surgeon experiences where a checklist would have come in handy. Here's the book in one sentence: You should make checklists for any complex procedures or decisions.Hiring Smart - by Pierre MornellISBN: 1580085148 READ: 2011-08-07 RATING: 4/10Good advice on hiring. No big surprises, but some useful tips.Discover Your Inner Economist - by Tyler CowenISBN: 0452289637 READ: 2009-10-19 RATING: 4/10The book title is misleading. It ends up being mostly the author's recommendations for the transactions of life. When to give to charity, what restaurants to choose, what insurance to buy, etc. He makes a rational case for these, that is often very interesting, but still feels like just his opinion.Causing a Scene - by Charlie ToddISBN: 006170363X READ: 2009-08-18 RATING: 4/10Fun tales from the guy that invented Improv Everywhere. Not really educational as much as just fun, and I'm a huge fan of their “missions”.Enough - by John BogleISBN: 0470398515 READ: 2009-04-23 RATING: 4/10Legendary investor, now 80, looks back with long-view wisdom on investing, living, and giving.How to be a Billionaire - by Martin FridsonISBN: 0471416177 READ: 2009-04-23 RATING: 4/10Biographical look at billionaires from the last 200 years, and lessons learned from how they did it. Some lessons aren't really applicable to the rest of us, like changing government laws to protect your monopoly. But some are.Management of the Absurd - by Richard FarsonISBN: 0684830442 READ: 2009-04-14 RATING: 4/10Counter-intuitive lessons about management. Highly recommended for managers and leaders, but also teachers and parents.The Obsolete Employee - by Michael RusserISBN: 0966248465 READ: 2007-10-01 RATING: 4/10How to run a company without employees, but with a loose network of work-from-home freelance agents. Very instructive, but also good perspective like how until the industrial revolution, there were no employees: everyone was freelance.Secrets of the Millionaire Mind - by T. Harv EckerISBN: 0060763280 READ: 2007-06-12 RATING: 4/10If you suspect that your mindset is holding you back from making more money, read this. Identifies and dissolves the mental baggage we've built up that believes money is evil and those who have it are greedy.One Simple Idea - by Stephen KeyISBN: 0071756159 READ: 2011-04-29 RATING: 3/10Good introduction into the world of licensing your ideas to companies that manufacture products.Hire With Your Head - by Lou AdlerISBN: 0470128356 READ: 2010-12-15 RATING: 3/10Great advice on hiring, but insanely repetitive. Maybe this was an editing mistake - that the exact same points are made over and over and over and over - often with the exact same words, sentences, even paragraphs. But those key points are great.What the Dog Saw - by Malcolm GladwellISBN: 0316075841 READ: 2009-12-05 RATING: 3/10A pretty-good collection of his articles from the past few years. While most are somewhat interesting, it felt a little like surfing the net or TV. Lots of “huh”, but no lasting insights. More entertainment than education.The Great Formula - by Mark JoynerISBN: 0471778230 READ: 2009-06-06 RATING: 3/10Create an irresistable offer. Present it to people who need it. Sell them more afterwards. Lots of examples of this.Program or Be Programmed - by Douglas Rushkoff and Leland PurvisISBN: 1935928155 READ: 2011-07-20 RATING: 2/10Maybe I'm just too immersed in this, but everything said here seems to be the most conventional wisdom - nothing I haven't heard. Shame, because I thought it was going to be about teaching the lay-person the importance of programming.The Four Filters Invention of Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger - by Bud LabitanISBN: 0615241298 READ: 2011-01-21 RATING: 2/10Another overview of the investment approach of Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger.Confessions of a Serial Entrepreneur - by Stuart SkormanISBN: 0787987328 READ: 2010-12-24 RATING: 2/10Personal tales, almost an autobiography, of someone who created a wide range of businesses, both successful and not. Some insights along the way, but not many surprising ones. I'd recommend “How to Get Rich” by Felix Dennis instead, also reviewed on this website.Life Without Lawyers - by Philip K. HowardISBN: 0393065669 READ: 2010-04-24 RATING: 2/10I really liked his TED talk (search ted.com), and this book elaborates on the idea. Makes a good point, but should just be a long article - not a whole book.The Productive Programmer - by Neal FordISBN: 0596519788 READ: 2009-11-01 RATING: 2/10I thought it was going to be more general or philosophical tips, but seemed to be more about IDE-specific tips instead. Then it crashed my Kindle (and stillFounders at Work - by Jessica LivingstonISBN: 1430210788 READ: 2008-02-12 RATING: 2/10Long in-depth interviews with company founders, telling their tales of how they started. Lots of stories with a few usable gems.Conspiracy of the Rich - Robert KiyosakiISBN: 0446559806 READ: 2009-11-24 RATING: 0/10Yet another Rich Dad book shat out for the usual audience of those who don't read. Often so bad it hurts, but with the occasional useful sentence. He always seems to go out of his way to avoid giving any usable info - only generalities. Does he care? Is he trying to write great books? Are these things just machine-generated or something?The Think Big Manifesto - by Michael Port and Mina SamuelsISBN: 0470432373 READ: 2009-05-12 RATING: 0/10One of the few books I've actively disliked. Ever read the introduction to a book? Where they say “what you hold in your hands here is something that could change the world”, and blah blah blah? I kept reading, wondering when the introduction was going to be over. Over halfway through the book, I realized this was it: just broad general encouraging unuseful nothings for the entire book.

(the following is from cooperativeparenting.com)The Impact of Being Raised by a Borderline Personality Disordered ParentThe Challenge: A borderline personality disordered (BPD) individual has a very fragile and unpredictable personality. They may be highly educated and have very successful careers. However, they struggle with interpersonal relationships because they are too fragile to be effective. They are very much like emotional children locked in an adult body, expected to function in adult relationships. When things are going their way, they can be delightful and charming. As soon as they do not get their way, or someone crosses them, they will quickly resort to destructive means to stabilize their fragile sense of self.Coping Mechanisms: The BPD’s greatest fear is to be abandoned and they will do just about anything to avoid the crushing blow of perceived rejection. They must feel they are loved at all times. They will create dependency in their child and will have difficulty seeing their child as separate. Sadly they “split” which means they view others, including their children, as either all good or all bad.They do not allow themselves to acknowledge anything in the “gray” area of life where most of reality exists. For example, if their child loves the other parent, then the BPD parent will over-react and believe they are being rejected by their child. They teach their child that if they want to feel safe then they have to adore them. They make it known in every possible way that “You are for me or you are against me.” If there is more than one child, the BPD parent may even idealize one child and reject the other.Besides splitting, the BPD parent will distort reality to make sense of inner emotions. For example, if the BPD parent and child have a conflict, the BPD parent will remember the conflict in a completely distorted way to protect themselves from feeling responsible. This creates tremendous confusion for the young child. Typically they are too fragile to take responsibility for any relationship problems. If they did, they would quickly spiral into feeling worthless. So instead they will distort the external facts to make sense of their internal experience. They will even go so far as to outright lie to cope with reality.In addition, the BPD parent will confuse their children when they project their own behaviors onto someone else. For example if the BPD parent lies, they will say others are lying to them. Furthermore, the BPD parent can be very impulsive leading to inappropriate rage that may be directed at a frightened child.Early childhood versus Adolescence: When children are very young they are able to demonstrate their love in many wonderful ways. They make homemade cards of adoration, they want to cuddle with you and tell you that you are the best parent in all the world! With time, as they develop and move towards autonomy they are less likely to demonstrate this devotion. The parent-child relationship of adolescence is typically not always a recepical relationship like that of early childhood. As a result, the BPD parent may appear to others to be caring adequately for the children while they are young.However, the BPD parent will completely digress when their child moves into adolescence. A healthy teen will begin detaching and seeing things in their own way. The BPD parent finds adolescence intolerable to their sense of self. As a result, the teen will give in and allow the BPD parent to control them while staying overly attached or they will begin to separate and fight with the BPD parent. These arguments are far worse than the usual parent-child conflict of adolescence because the BPD parent will fight dirty and impulsively, saying the worse possible things to their child. They will threaten to reject their child or threaten to harm themselves, creating tremendous anxiety for the child. When the BPD parent’s fears become triggered they will resort to blame, guilt, shame, verbal abuse and any other form of manipulation to get their way. Some will even resort to physical abuse when they become desperate enough to stabilize their ego.Impact of BPD Parenting: Children raised by a BPD parent are typically highly anxious, hypervigilant, insecure and lack self-confidence. Some become depressed and may even harm themselves in adolescence. They may have academic problems or throw themselves into school and activities to minimize time at home. They learn not to bring friends home. Many of these children become “parentified”, meaning they become adults while still children. They lose their childhood emotionally caring for the fragile adult. Many become passive to avoid the rage and others remain enmeshed never leaving home. Children of BPD adults seem to have the highest risk of becoming alienated from their other parent or extended family. Alienation is a form of emotional abuse costing a child their relationship with a parent. Other relationships must never complete with the BPD parent.(the following is from psychologytoday.com)When Your Mother Has a Borderline PersonalityIf your mother's love was, and still is, toxic, what are your options?What is borderline personality disorder? It's a pattern of intensely hyper-emotional responses, especially to situations that trigger abandonment fears. It's a pattern of demanding, critical and chaotic relationships instead of cooperative communicating. It's a pattern also of misinterpreting situations as hurtful that are in fact benign, with the misinterpretations occuring either while the situation is happening, or in retelling the events later. It also may be a pattern of attractive and highly competent-appearing social functioning at times alternating with periods of intense and inappropriate anger, narcissism, and explicitly hurtful behavior (to themselves or to others).What would you expect to see in a mother (or a dad) with borderline personality features? Alas, you would see widespread domestic violence of the verbal variety. That's because one hallmark of a borderline personality is unpredictable raging.In addition, you would see narcissism, that is, inability to attune to others' needs, including her child's. Instead of attunement to the child's needs, whatever happens would be experienced as 'all about her.'You might alas also see abusive behavior. In fact if it's the man with borderline tendencies, that is, if it's the dad who is difficult, his bpd pattern is likely to be labeled abusive personality.Here's a classic example of a borderline parent in a situation that most dads or moms would react to with an easy hug. Mom and child are walking on the sidewalk. Child falls. Mom erupts in fury. "How could you fall like that here where everyone can see you? You are making me look bad!" The child's concerns would be irrelevant. The mother's reaction to the incident would be all about Mom.I've written several articles about how children do and do not develop borderline personality disorder: The Sleepover: How a Cute Little Girl Develops Borderline Personality Disorder and How an Often-Angry Little Girl Does Not Develop a Borderline Personality Disorder.In response to the second of these earlier articles, which discusses what parents can do when children start raging, several readers wrote in about their childhood experiences with the opposite situation: growing up with a raging mom. This posting draws from their profoundly insightful comments. So does this additional blogpost on the same subject. Lastly, the comments from readers in response to this article have been profoundly enlightening to me. Especially if there is an individual with borderline functioning in your life, be sure to read these insightful contributions.Thank you so much to all of you: Annie, Linda, Alison, Babs, Naomi, Verdi, Kelly, Jose, Elijah, Crawford's Daughter, and the many others including the various folks named Anonymous who have written in to my prior articles and to the comments to this one. Thank you for sharing your stories, for supporting each other, and for suggesting readings on the biological elements of borderline functioning.Please note: When I use the word Mother in this article I intend it to refer to either parent, Mom or Dad.COMMENTThe power dynamic you describe in your article [Help for little girls who do too much anger, which is about how parents can best handle children's anger outbursts] is entirely reversed in the case of an abusive, controlling, manipulative parent who uses rage and fear to control their children, of any age.People who grow up with raging, screaming, physically and emotionally abusive parents become conditioned early in life to totally obey, placate and cater to their domineering parent, or risk emotional or even physical injury to their own self. So it’s like confronting a huge, feral, enraged wild animal to change the power dynamic in such cases.It takes a great deal of sheer courage for a person who has been domineered his or her whole life by a parent who tantrums and rages, blames, and lashes out when angry, to even attempt to leave their presence when they begin raging at you. It took me until my mid-forties to even think about trying it. The first time that I just left the room when my bpd/npd mother started in having a rage-and-criticism fit at me, I felt scared but very empowered.And it does work! I really does. Sometimes it takes a long time and many repetitions, and sometimes the behavior gets worse, even, before it gets better, but it does work. Its the same technique you've described for handling a toddler who is having a tantrum, its just exponentially more difficult to actually have the guts to DO it when the person having the rage-tantrum is one's parent.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERYes, I wholeheartedly agree, both with the applicability of exits to interactions with adults of all types, and to how extremely difficult for a child, even an adult child, to feel internally strong enough to implement the strategy.One person in her 40's that I worked with recently said she still couldn't envision herself using the technique of exiting, of removing herself from the situation, in response to her mother's rages. Even as a grown adult, her fear of her mother's reprisals was still too potent. She still felt tiny and still experienced her mother as all-powerful. Reprisals in her case were now via manipulation by guilt rather than physical or verbal abuse as they'd been in her childhood, but the impact was the same.COMMENTI Have used your “exit strategy” intervention in my own life as well as in my work!I have discovered that the bathroom plays a very important role in a home [with a borderline mother] as children are taught early on that it is a “no disturb zone”, They are also experienced in knowing that it is a place visited numerous times a day by all people so there is no sense of abandonment when that door closes, unlike he front door of a home.So, if during an interaction that is heating up, when a child [young or adult] or a teen who is suffering from a raging or domineering parent, needs “time out” and does not have the ability to “Exit”, a visit to the bathroom can work wonders.The exit-to-the-bathroom can be repeated as often as necessary.In one case [in my clinical practice] the Mom actually got the message!! She said in her tirade “and now you are going to go into the bathroom, RIGHT?” And her daughter didn’t respond. Later in the day when mom was calmer, the daughter, age 11, said simply “I go there when I am scared!” Mom was actually surprised when she thought back just how often her daughter had been going to the bathroom. It was a signal to her to get help.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERI usually recommend "Excuse me, I need a drink of water" as a routine exit comment for adult-to-adult exits. I very much like your bathroom exit excuse however, particularly for situations in which both parties are not in prior agreement on exit routines. It sounds also particularly apt for situations with a power differential like for a child with a raging mother.Thanks so much for this idea!COMMENTYou wrote, "If parents want their child to stop screaming, they’d best stop interacting with screaming as if it were a legitimate mode of communication."So true. Could say the same for many politicians :)RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERAmen. I write about the problem of excessively intense emotions in political discourse in two articles:The Problem With Over-Emotional Political Rhetoric and 8 Ways to Lose Friends ByTalking Politics.COMMENTWonderful article, and great technique!Actually, a really similar technique is often recommended at a support group I belong to for the adult children of personality-disordered, (mostly borderline pd and narcissistic pd) parents.New members of these groups tend to arrive in a state of anxiety, stress, guilt and fear because their bpd mother will call them on the phone and verbally abuse them, rage at them or cry hysterically, for long stretches of time and the adult non-pd child just takes it, having been trained to just endure being abused, from birth.The recommended response at the support group is to gently interrupt/talk over the out-of-control pd parent early on, saying calmly something like, "Mom, I can hear that you are upset but I'm not going to listen to you when you are screaming at me/calling me names/crying/etc. I'm going to hang up the phone now. We can try talking about this again tomorrow when you are calmer."RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERIt can be important therefore to keep in mind that the adult-child’s job is not to teach the parent but rather to protect herself. For that reason, any exit method, provided it is kindly rather than mean, can work.“Sorry Mom. Gotta go now.”“Woops Mom. The kids need me.”In other words, the abusive parent may or may not be willing or able to learn. The key is that in any case your job is exit at the first sign of verbal abuse ahead.COMMENTIn my own personal opinion, the sad reality is that as long as the child is dependent on the parent in any way: either the minor child who is dependent in all ways, or the adult child who is still emotionally dependent (or financially dependent, perhaps): in such cases the technique [of exits] cannot be utilized [by the child] because of the power imbalance.A person can only safely implement this technique (or any power play, really) if he or she has the same power level/ status, or greater power/status than the one who is raging.f I as a small child or teen had dared to walk out of the room while my mother was raging at me, well, she possibly could have been triggered into beating me to death. A small, dependent child has to rely on the "sane" parent to manage a mentally ill spouse, it would be practically suicidal for a small child to attempt a confrontation with a raging, violent, mentally ill parent.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERYou make a very important point. Power differentials definitely do inhibit and can make totally impossible the walk-away option.When the anger comes from the parent, the child may well have no recourse except to hope for potential intervention from third parties, which alas, did not seem to have come to your aid.Interestingly, when a child rages, parents may feel like the power is in the little one's hands. Particularly if they themselves were raised by a raging parent, they may transfer the sense of a powerful other to their child. Then when the child rages the parent flips into feeling small and powerless like the way they had felt as children.As to your having in your 40's begun to be able to experience power in the relationship with your mother, bravo to you. I have seen significantly older people who still are terrified of Mom's capacity to rage.COMMENTWhen my mother was in a violent rage she didn't seem to actually "be there". My own mother “didn't know me” when she was raging at me. Her pupils would dilate to the maximum so her eyes looked like shark eyes and it was like she wasn't seeing me but she just had to scream at me and hit me until she wore herself out. Sometimes she'd use the belt on me and my younger sister and we'd have welts and bruises and sometimes broken skin, but always only under our clothes where it didn't show.Afterwards, momster sometimes would act like nothing at all unusual had happened and would be all perky and cheerful. At other times she'd sob and beg for forgiveness and demand that we hug her, comfort her and tell her we loved her. Honestly, that had to be really crazy, psychotic behavior, right? And it was traumatizing as hell for both us kids.At least she never put us in the hospital, but then we'd learned to adapt: we'd freeze in place and not antagonize her when she was raging, because it seemed that possibly she could go to a place that was even more dangerous and kill us accidentally, perhaps.It was only well into my 40's and having reached a place where I was fairly emotionally detached from my mother that I was able to implement the "just walk away" tactic. She couldn't physically harm me any longer, and I had basically stopped caring whether she was happy with me or not, so I had nothing to lose.Its just damned sad that when one has a moderately to severely personality-disordered parent who is into raging and physical violence, particularly a Cluster B parent, that the child has no option but to become more or less detached from and indifferent to the parent's feelings out of self-preservation. Really sad.COMMENTThank you Dr. Susan for the resolution of handling an angry child. Communication! Got the point on that. After all, both my children, my daughter and my son, were also considered to be easily angry to get me and my wife attentions.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERYes, children rage to get something, to get attention for what they want. At the same time, giving attention in response to GOOD behavior is key.The underlying message in responding to anger with exits MUST be that "I'm glad to talk with you, to give you my full attention. And at the same time I will give you my attention only in response to quiet talking, not to whining, yelling, or anger explosions."Thanks for highlighting this point!COMMENTI was diagnosed with BPD and never showed any signs of it growing up. i had no anger issues whatsoever, in fact..i was quite calm and quiet. i had loving parents, no abandonment issues...so why is it angry children are always associated with BPD? while i realize that frequent/unstable mood swings is one of the diagnostic criteria of BPD i still wonder, what it is that turned me into this angry, overemotional ball of rage that i am today.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERA very important question: What does bring on adult-onset raging?Here’s several possibilities. One, several or all may pertain to your situation.You are partnering with people who only listen to you when you rage.You are partnering with people who act as if your raging is acceptable behavior.Something upsetting happened at some point that continues to boil within you, so any small thing in the present can tip your energies into boiling over. i.e., the trauma reset your amygdala to hyperactive responsivity.You had a parent or other caretaker who modeled bpd behavior.An allergic or other physical reaction keeps your emotions on easy-overload (allergies can impact any part of our bodies, not just skin or runny noses)You are misdiagnosed. Maybe your raging is from a bipolar rather than a bpd phenomenon.COMMENTI have a spouse with BPD. When we first met, she would rage frequently. Fortunately, and after many years of therapy, her rages have calmed down considerably and now rarely even occur.But I don't believe that "walking away" is always the right approach in these situations, especially with my spouse. When I did that, it would just serve to infuriate her further and often led to suicidal ideation or other reckless behavior.Instead, using the PUVAS skill provided much better results: Pay attention, Understand what is being said, Validate the feelings (right or wrong), Assert your position, Shift responsibility where it belongs. The validation is key. Her rages were often a result of not feeling like she'd been heard or understood (and validated). Maybe this approach should be different for a child, but I can say for sure that it works well with adults.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERYou highlight another key point. For walking away to work between two adults, the adults need to discuss it ahead of time and mutually agree on choreography that feels good to them both. You are so right that if one partner "walks out on" the other, that is going to worsen the situation. By contrast, when spouses agree that if either of them begins heating up, they both will turn in opposite directions, separate, cool down, and then re-engage more constructively...that is a strategy that both partners can participate in together.COMMENTI think that the most crucial and relevant factor in dealing effectively with someone who has a problem with emotional regulation is the power dynamic: the way to manage the situation and have it turn out well is highly dependent on the status/power of the two specific individuals involved relative to each other.I think Dr. Heitler's [exit] techniques would work well when the out-of-control raging person is a child, (no power, no status) and the person managing the situation is the parent or other care-giver (who has all the status and all the power in the relationship and is calm, sane, compassionate and empathetic.)I think the PUVAS techniques (and other techniques like DEARMAN) sometimes work well when the out-of-control raging person and the recipient of the rage are both adults who have equal status or power in the relationship: two adults who are friends, lovers, co-workers, spouses.But when the out-of-control person has higher status and/or greater power (physical power, legal power, etc.) than the recipient of the rage, such as when the out-of-control rager is the parent and the recipient of the rage is their child, or when the rager is a much older child who is a bully and the recipient is a smaller, younger child, or the rager is the boss and you are their employee, or the enraged person happens to be someone with a gun who has targeted you for their rage... then you have virtually no options to deal with the situation successfully.When there is an extreme power imbalance and the lower-status individual is the one being raged at, the recipient or target is basically screwed unless they can physically escape or unless someone with equal or greater status to the rager appears and intervenes.That's the only point I want to make; dealing with emotionally charged situations has everything to do with the power or status of the individuals involved in relation to each other. A technique that works within a relationship of equals does not necessarily work in a relationship of unequal power.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERMy fellow PT blogger Loretta Breuning's book I, Mammal reminds us that once we become emotional our mammalian brain takes over. Rage leaves just the mammalian part of our brain working,The underlying mammalian issue when we feel threatened is dominance, ie, who has more power and who will give up and become submissive.That’s why I agree 100% with the idea that for handling someone else's rage the relative power differentials are a vital factor to consider.As to the PUVAS technique, while it may work, to me enables bad behavior. In my rule-book, grownups talk with each other. A spouse should not have to listen to rants. That’s encouraging bad behavior. Angry folks need to learn to calms themselves, think about the concerns that their feelings are alerting them to, and talk with their partner in an adult-to-adult manner about their concerns.By the way, you might want to check my recent posting on Anger is a Stop Sign . It’s also listed on my blog at http://psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict.COMMENTI sympathize. My mother is BPD, and I grew up in similar circumstances. My father was as intimidated as I was, unfortunately and did not help me with her so when I became big enough to confront her, I did, we fought until I left home at 17 to escape her. I went 3,000 miles away.As a child I tried to hide from her as much as possible, or just shrink into a silent ball of fear. After I left I had nothing to do with her for many years. Then I tried having a relationship, this did not work out well of course, sought therapy and my therapist gave me the insight and courage to tell her to buzz off.She's 93 now in a home, writes to me, sometimes I write back, but that's it. She whines about everything, including wanting to see me, but there is no way I am doing that. Every time we make contact I sink into a prolonged depression. Being around her is like drinking poison. My relatives blame me for not having more to do with her, so she has destroyed my family relationships, although that happened long ago when she blamed me for evil things she was doing, as well as my father.Only my grandmother knew what was really happening. She was my friend and ally.RESPONSE FROM DR. HEITLERThanks for sharing your story, and especially for your last sentence."Only my grandmother knew what was really happening. She was my friend and ally."Research suggests that if a child has at least one person who validates that the bpd parent is out of line, validating that the raging is not the child's fault, the child's odds of growing into a normal and emotionally healthy adulthood zoom up.The moral of the story: grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, and teachers--your role is vitally important. If you see a child with a borderline parent, your friendship to that child is hugely leveraged, a potentially great blessing.The following Comment addresses the impacts of family members beyond parents on kids. In this writer's case, alas, the interventions were primarily negative rather than helpful.COMMENTSo first, I'll caveat my comments by mentioning that I am not a parent. My husband and I enjoy the company of our friends' children, and like being aunt and uncle to my brother's step-daughter, but I have little direct experience raising children. Bear that in mind when you read my comment, because it is aimed primarily at teens and adults who are being emotionally and verbally abused by people with BPD. That said, I will touch on my experiences as a child being surrounded by BPD people by the end, which may be helpful to some of the parents posting on here who have young children.Growing up, my extended family flew into rages and were unstable and unpredictable from one moment to the next. Their tongue-lashings could be cruel, and apparently haven't stopped. My uncle called our youngest brother "lazy" several years ago for having the audacity to dual-major in STEM and GIS IT, minor in German, do a bunch of internships and jobs in his difficult field, and graduate later than he should have, in the "screwed" Class of '09, which left him strictly with offers from employers in the food-service sector.Whether on the phone, or in-person, I told them that if they insisted on raging at me, I would not speak to them until they could calm down. I would sometimes phrase this as "I understand you are upset, but I have a right not to be yelled at. I'm going to leave [hang up] until we can have a conversation in a calm and productive manner." 9 times out of 10, this worked. While I am no longer close with my extended family, on the rare occasions when I do have to interact with them and one or the other of them flies into their fits, I use this technique, typically to excellent results.Anyway, I grew up emotionally abused by certain non-primary family members, was sexually assaulted my senior year of college as "payback" for not wanting to date an older male friend whose life consisted of sitting in his mother's basement and crying about how his life was unfair, have been knocked around by an older male bully at nearly every job I've had (at least one, maybe two, had BPD, and another two had NPD), and, since I had no idea what a healthy relationship looked like, between my parents' recent divorce and my relatives' constant bickering and abuse, I dated a revolving door of abusive losers, both male and female, between the ages of 15 and 23, until I met my husband and broke the cycle. This is a lot of abuse and violence for one person to process and deal with, and I have panic attacks secondary to PTSD as a result.While the symptoms of PTSD vary from person to person, one symptom that can dominate for some patients, especially women who've been sexually assaulted or abused, is sudden outbursts of crying, or other losses of emotional control that appear to come out of nowhere. This has happened to me at work, and what I've done is either cry quietly in my private office, cry in the bathroom, or hold in the tears until I was able to get at least a quarter-mile away from the office/office park, at which point, I cried it out until I could cry no more.However, I usually reserve my crying for home, and when I first moved in with my husband,just under 2 months after my 24th birthday, he was confused and bewildered by my sudden emotional outbursts. Some women have been misdiagnosed as BPD, when they're actually abuse victims with PTSD, while other abuse victims are diagnosed as bipolar, and the outbursts of anger/crying are characterized as "mixed-mood states." There is still a stigma against women showing anger in psychiatry, which remains a heavily male-dominated profession and continues to feature very gender-delineated DSM-IV/DSM-V diagnoses. So if your little girl is crying or acting out a lot, but BPD or bipolar doesn't seem to fit, look closer, or "abres los ojos," ("open your eyes") as we say in Spanish. It may be she's a victim of abuse.IN SUM, what are the options for children of raging borderline mothers, dads or other adults?When the parent is the raging one, what are the child’s options? The child usually feels helpless vis a vis the power of parents. They quickly learn to do whatever they need to do to stay safe.These conciliatory habits may continue into adult life. Even when the child has grown into physical adulthood, the childhood terror of others’, and especially of mother’s, anger may persist.Adult children of bpd moms do have options. If s/he can summon up the courage, the adult child can take a role of parent to their bpd mom. As adults they can learn to respond to Mom’s anger with exits. I.e., "I'm glad to talk with you. And at the same time I will give you my attention only in response to quiet talking, not to whining, yelling, or anger explosions."Still, if mom traumatized her children when they were growing up, laying down the law like this may feel close to impossible for the adult child of a bpd.At the same time, nothing succeeds like success. If the now-adult child of the still-raging mom decides to try exits once or twice, with each success the new regime is likely to get easier.Lastly, I would like to re-emphasize the vital role of 3rd person on-lookers.If you see a mom who is raging with a child, do something. Speak up to the mother with borderline personality patterns of parenting. Intervene. Talk to her. Say something, anything, about how the raging is bad both for her and for her her child. Explain that professional help could ease the situation. Call authorities. Talk with the child and explain that Mom rages because of her problems; her anger is not the child’s fault. Do something. ------------(the following is from psychologytoday.com)The Borderline FatherIs Your Dad a Borderline?Fathers with Borderline Personality Disorder (fBPDs) often differ from mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder (mBPDs) in the attachment they have with their children and the nature of the associated abuse. A primary difference between the two is that whereas mBPDs focus on their children as primary attachment objects with associated exaggerated dependency, fBPDs often see their children as secondary attachment objects with less associated dependency.Borderline Mother: Exaggerated dependency on her childrenBorderline Father: Exaggerated dependency on his partnerThis is important because if a Borderline father is more likely to see his partner as a primary (and problematic) attachment object, the consequence is that he may then experience his children as interfering with access to his primary attachment object and hence competitors for her affection.fBPDs and InfantsGestation and childbirth interfere with his partner’s ability to focus on the fBPD.Pregnancy and childbirth can distract the fBPD’s partner in many ways. The fBPD often becomes enraged at the child and the mother of the child because the mother lacks interest, energy, and focus on the fBPD that was there before children. (This is a natural consequence of the demanding nature of early motherhood.) Sadly, as a consequence, this interferes with the fBPD’s attachment to the child even before it is born and intensifies after childbirth.The fBPD experiences abandonment associated with the withdrawal of the mother associated with her taking care of the child. They often complain of sexual abandonment associated with the usual temporary interference with sexual activity associated with pregnancy and childbirth. This gets worse as the infant demands feeding and other care throughout the day and night often leaving the mother too tired to attend to the fBPD.Fathers without BPD are often understanding, and in fact find the mother’s nurturance toward their offspring admirable and attractive. The fBPD finds this threatening and may become enraged at the mother, the child, or both. Under these circumstances, the fBPD may encourage or demand that the spouse neglect the child so that she might attend to his needs.article continues after advertisementfBPD: “Let's go to our favorite restaurant tonight for a nice romantic dinner.”Mom: “What about the baby?”fBPD: “We can get a babysitter.”Mom: “I feel that she is too young to be left with a sitter. She is still breast feeding.”fBPD: “You can pump some milk.”Mom: “I just don’t want someone else feeding her yet.”fBPD: “Maybe having a child was not such a good idea after all.”In this dialogue the fBPD is encouraging the mother to violate her maternal instinct by abandoning the child (briefly) and then punishing her reluctance. He comes to see both the infant and the mother as obstacles to his access to his primary attachment object: the mother. Acting out by the fBPD in the form of adultery is not uncommon under these circumstances. The mother’s attention to the child is seen as an abandonment, thus justifying his seeking affection elsewhere.fBPDs and ToddlersAs the child gets older, the fBPD is more likely to bond to the child. The bond tends to be secondary, however, and focused primarily on the needs of the father, rather than those of the child.fBPD: “How would you like to watch a football game with daddy?”Child: “Don’t you usually watch football with Uncle Tommy?”article continues after advertisementfBPD: “Yes, but Uncle Tommy can’t make it today.”Child: “OK.”.........Later:fBPD: “Where are you going?”Child: “Daddy this boring. I don’t want to watch anymore.”fBPD: “But the game is not over yet.”Child: “I want to play outside.”fBPD: “This is the last time I ask you to spend time with me.”In this example, the secondary nature of the attachment to the child is immediately apparent as he asked to sit in for a preferred attachment object (Uncle Tommy). The child most likely will jump at the chance anyway to have time with the father. In this situation, he fails and is then rejected and made to feel bad about his efforts and hence himself. This often prompts the child to be more solicitous next time, while his or her confidence is diminished by being blamed for not pleasing the fBPD. This then justifies abuse in the form of abandonment, devaluation, or perhaps even physical abuse.fBPDs and ChildrenChild: “Hey dad, I need to confirm you'll be driving me to my game Saturday.”fBPD: “What time does it start?”article continues after advertisementChild: “Same as every week—2 o’clock.”fBPD: “I may be a few minutes late.”Child: “Dad, if I am late, I cannot start.”fBPD: “You are putting pressure on me.”Child: “Dad you knew I had to be there at 2.”fBPD: “You ungrateful little shit. You wouldn’t be in the league if not for me."In this example, the father has put some other opportunity ahead of being at his child’s ballgame. He is embarrassed when the child confronts him on this. His solution is to make himself the victim by making the child feel badly about wanting his father at his ballgame.fBPDs and the Adult ChildWhile the fBPD routinely treats his relationship with his children as a secondary bond, he nonetheless expects the child will have a primary bond with him. This means that he expects that the child will make him first priority when there is a conflict. This may become more apparent as the child enters adolescence or young adulthood.fBPD: “I need a ride to the doctor tomorrow at 10. Can you pick me up?”Child: ”Did you just make this appointment?”fBPD: “No, my friend was supposed to take me but something came up.”Child: “Dad, I have a big interview tomorrow morning, and I cannot reschedule it.”fBPD: “Can’t you just move it up a few hours?”Child: “No dad, it will damage my opportunities.”fBPD: “After all that I do for you I don’t think that I ask too much.”Child: “I am happy to take you to the doctor’s. I just need advance notice.”fBPD: “I may not always have advanced notice.”Child: “But this time you did.”fBPD: “Oh, so I need to make an appointment to get sick.”Child: “You are not sick. This is a routine visit!”fBPD: “Forget it. I will ask your sister.”Here the fBPD was exercising his second option, because his first option, his friend, fell through. He nonetheless expected the child to drop everything and treat the father as primary attachment. When the child does not do so, the fBPD becomes abusive.Like the female sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder, the fBPDs are intolerant of criticism and cannot take responsibility for any error or flaw.fBPD the VictimChild: “Dad when you fininsh emailing, I'd like to speak to you about something.”fBPD: “Go ahead, I’m listening.”Child: “I will wait. I don’t feel like you're listening when you're answering emails.”fBPD: “Emails were OK when you needed money for school, you ungrateful shit.”Child: “I am just trying to have a respectful conversation with you.”fBPD: “You are going to tell me how to be respectful! I wish I never had children.”Here the fBPD responds to criticism with abuse. This is a characteristic pattern of both male and female sufferers. The child is punished for attempting to negotiate a mutually respectful relationship with the parent.The fBPD is wounded by any criticism from anybody. The pain triggers instant rage and the fBPD assumes the posture of victim. This then justifies any and all abuse toward the child, which is generally expressed immediately and without restraint. The child’s “crime” of finding fault with the parent is amplified to a “felony.” The fBPD treats the child as though he or she has launched a vicious attack and responds with full ferocity.Paradoxically, despite the intensity of the instant vitriol that can be triggered by any perceived criticism or slight, these aggressive expressions are transitory.fBPD: “Son, wasn’t there something you wanted to discuss with me?”Child: “That’s OK, I took care of it.”fBPD: “I’m not on the PHONE anymore!”Child: “Dad, I already resolved the issue.”fBPD: “Oh, so now you are going to punish me by not talking to me.”Child: “Dad, it’s not a punishment. I will tell you if you really want to know.”fBPD: “Well I really don’t. I have better things to do than talk to a loser like you.”Here the fBPD expects the child to just ignore the abusive attachment just prior and share openly with the parent. The child is immediately in a dilemma in that he is being asked to share openly with a parent who has recently brutalized him. He is then punished for his natural reaction, hesitation, and then punished again for acquiescing too late.Women are three times more likely than men to be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. This means that there are many more fBPDs than mBPDs, but the men are no less hurtful. Their need to see themselves as infallible compels them to assume the victim role whenever they feel criticized or slighted. They most often react with an abusive attack at the perceived offender.Surviving the Borderline Father:Growing up with one or more parents affected with BPD causes significant damage to the child’s sense of self. Relief can only be achieved by stopping the abuse. This is done by installing consistent boundaries that do not allow for this type of abuse. Once this is achieved, healing of the self can occur by recognizing the damage done by the abuse and recasting the relationship in more realistic terms.The nub of the problem is that if you have been raised by a Borderline mother or father, these behavioral scenes are your normal. First you need to step outside the abusive relationship sufficiently to realize what’s been done to you. After all, children don’t ask for abuse from the people they love the most in this world. Then, psychotherapy can help with objectifying what’s going on, setting good limits, and being the best son or daughter that you choose to be under the circumstances.It’s a fight that’s worth the effort.

DisclaimerWhat I am writing here is based upon limited information gathered from limited sources. Don’t judge it as a public view or something else. I won’t tell you the difference between Mongolia and Inner Mongolia directly, just leave a comment below to share your thoughts and findings.Below is a funny and informative interview between 2 well-known Mongolians and a well-known Inner Mongolian. In the article, Mongolian is specific for ethnic Mongols in Mongolia and Inner Mongolian is specific for ethnic Mongols in Inner Mongolia.Introduction"100 Mongolian elitists" interviewed[1]a well-known pharmacologist&chemist from Inner Mongolia on Mar 20, 2016. The honored guest is Gereltu Borjihan, who is the director of the Institute of Mongolian Medicinal Chemistry, School of Chemistry & Chemical Engineering, Inner Mongolia University with a Ph.D. from the Institute of Industrial Science, University of Tokyo.(Figure 1: Ph.D. Gereltu Borjihan)Nature published his team’s paper about 3AAdRF [2]in 1999, a few years later, his teams synthesized a sulfate exhibiting high anti‐HIV activity and low cytotoxicity.[3]International Journal of Biological Macromolecules published his team’s paper about Cationic curdlan derivatives on Dec 6, 2019.Cationic curdlan derivatives are a class of promising carriers for nucleic acid delivery including short interfering RNA (siRNA).[4]One interviewer is a celebrated People's Artist and poet - B.Lhagvasuren(Cyrillic Mongolian: Бавуугийн Лхагвасүрэн) from Mongolia.(Figure 2: Sadly, B.Lhagvasuren died of cancer on Feb 5, 2019[5])Another interviewer, I think most Mongolian users can recognize him instantly. He is the current Mongolian president, a Badass Judo Expert, and Olympic Gold-Winning Coach. He was a member of the Mongolia Parliament in 2016.Yes, he is Khaltmaagiin Battulga(Cyrillic Mongolian: Халтмаагийн Баттулга).Залуусаа... баяраар BAR-дахгvйБатнасан шиг бакираарай... pic.twitter.com/I9zSmm5ZHE— Battulga Khaltmaa (@BattulgaKh) December 27, 2015I got a copy with Chinese subtitles recently, however, I am neither a native Mongolian-speaking user nor a native English-speaking user, suggestions, criticism or other comments on this translation are appreciated, I will revise it in time. Due to the limitation of times, energy and Knowledge, the only thing I can do is list the main points.The format is Speaker(Timestamp): "Contents".PrefaceB.Lhagvasuren(00:02:31): "The honored guest who is attending our program, who owns the same origin and same ethnic with us, is a well-known scholar from Inner Mongolia - Gereltu Borjihan, I think everyone will benefit a lot from the honored guest we invited."B.Lhagvasuren(00:02:52): "This honored guest’s program is very grand, and why?"B.Lhagvasuren(00:02:55): "(We invited) our member of Mongolia Parliament, our famous politician, dear minister to host this program, I hope (audiences) to understand this is huge respect, let’s start our program"Gereltu Borjihan(00:03:44): "I feel I just gained his degree right now. Why should I say so? Because I know how to do it when I try to research something"Gereltu Borjihan(00:03:54): "so until now I believe I am a real Ph.D."Loving hometownB.Lhagvasuren(00:04:53): "I think you are a man who loves your hometown, Why I say so? The University of Tokyo was willing to offer you excellent payment and position after you graduated in Japan, but you still came back home without hesitation"B.Lhagvasuren(00:05:05): "Your story is widespread here, it’s said that an Inner Mongolian in Japan developed medicines to cure AIDS".Gereltu Borjihan(00:05:33): "People would feel scared when it comes to AIDS at that age, people in 15 years ago know almost nothing about AIDS. So people will say Khaltmaagiin Battulga who gained a Ph.D. from the University of Tokyo developed medicines to cure AIDS."Gereltu Borjihan(00:05:51): "not developed medicines, but synthesized an anti‐HIV chemical compound. Such people at that age are very rare, so the government and country want Khaltmaagiin Battulga to come back home to work."For more details about the anti‐HIV sulfate, please visit here.[6](Figure 3: Kids’ perform at 00:08:01)Visiting BuryatiaGereltu Borjihan(00:09:29): "Last time I visited Buryatia to attend the Traditional Mongolian Medicine Conference. About 95% of participants are Mongols, our Mongolian-speaking Buryats is on the decrease"Gereltu Borjihan(00:09:40): "Buryatia Mongols, Inner Mongolians, and Mongolians communicate with each other via Russian and English while sitting down."Gereltu Borjihan(00:09:48): "Why not use Mongolian language, here is the wine table!"About traditional Mongolian medicinesB.Lhagvasuren(00:09:54): "The discipline you research like Mongolian medicine and pharmacy is useless abroad".Gereltu Borjihan(00:09:59): "Yes."Gereltu Borjihan(00:12:21): "The existence of Traditional Mongolian medicines has been 1000 years when dates back to Xiongnu’s age, around 800 years when dates back to Genghis Khan‘s age."Gereltu Borjihan(00:12:26): "There were thousands of receipts, there were 5000 receipts in Kublai’s age."Gereltu Borjihan(00:16:19): "I was a Chemistry major, not a Mongolian medicine major, not a doctor, But I learned Chemistry, researched pharmacy and then researched medicine."Gereltu Borjihan(00:16:27): "I kill mice and feed mice, use them to do experiments, all of these don’t belong to what a chemist should do. But…"Khaltmaagiin Battulga(00:16:33): "What a biologist should do."Gereltu Borjihan(00:16:36): "What a biologist or a medical scientist should do."Gereltu Borjihan(00:16:36): "Being a scholar doesn’t mean researching whatever I have learned. I should research whatever society needs me."Gereltu Borjihan(00:16:51): "Mongols are looking: what’re Mongol scholars doing? Have they invented anything?Khaltmaagiin Battulga(00:16:56): "But they won’t say you Gereltu Borjihan have done nothing, right? There are only around 10 new medicine approvals every year in China, you are so great since your medicines can obtain approval."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(00:17:29): "How to talk about Mongolian medicine? After I came back to Inner Mongolia, there appeared an argument like are Mongolian medicine drugs? Does it belong to Traditional medicine?"Traditional medicine is defined as "the sum total of knowledge, skills, and practices based on the theories, beliefs, and experiences indigenous to different cultures that are used to maintain health, as well as to prevent, diagnose, improve or treat physical and mental illnesses".[7]Gereltu Borjihan(00:17:45): "Anyone who has studied in Europe will say drugs are something with the known molecules. We should figure out the molecular components."Gereltu Borjihan(00:18:00): "We should elucidate the mechanism."Researchgate, namely "scientific Facebook" has a project "Neurogenesis-Mongolian-Medicine".[8]Lipid-lowering drugsGereltu Borjihan(00:21:37): "Separating the nocuous components, collecting the innocuous components, exacting the active components and throwing away useless components, making it into the 0.2g drug."Gereltu Borjihan(00:21:44): "Take a tablet for one time, and it’s easy to take. It’s similar to western drugs, but it’s new Mongolian medicines."Gereltu Borjihan(00:25:08): "Researchers from all the world are looking for active molecular components, only rare researchers found them. We as Mongols are very lucky, we found the active molecular components from ancestral receipts."Gereltu Borjihan(00:25:17): "These molecular components can lower lipids with benefit to the liver. We have proved it with science."Gereltu Borjihan(00:25:22): "So we have applied for 8 related patents in China and we are applying for patents in America."B.Lhagvasuren(00:25:33): "Is there any scholar in this domain who compete with you?"Gereltu Borjihan(00:25:38): "Many, I think there are at least 5000 herbal medicine scholars."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(00:28:53): "We also have a wish that if only there was a Mongol can be awarded the Nobel Prize."Gereltu Borjihan(00:28:59): "Tu Youyou proved (active components from) traditional Chinese medicine can cure illness for the first time."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(00:29:05): "For the first time?"Gereltu Borjihan(00:29:06): "For the first time, so she was awarded the Nobel Prize. What I am doing to prove that Mongolian medicine can cure illness."Gereltu Borjihan(00:29:14): "So I found the active molecular components from Mongolian medicine, proved their structures and effectiveness, the patents for the new drugs are not only applied in China but also applied in America."Gereltu Borjihan(00:30:11): "It may succeed and it may fail, but my mission to prove Mongolian medicine can cure illness for the first time."Google Patents has included 17 patents from Gereltu Borjihan.[9](Piperonyl pentadiene isobutyramide, or GB-N[10])(Piperic acid or GB-H[11])Education in Bordered Yellow BannerThe Bordered Yellow Banner(Chinese: 镶黄旗) was one of the Eight Banners of the Manchu Qing dynasty military.Gereltu Borjihan(00:32:42): "The poor herders in our Bordered Yellow Banner cultivate most good students. The place in (Inner Mongolia) with most Ph.D. is the Bordered Yellow Banner."Gereltu Borjihan(00:32:53): "What are the Bordered Yellow Banner used for education? Not silver, not golden, just to use wisdom, willpower and Mongols’ prize."Gereltu Borjihan(00:34:45): "A big place with an area to look after children, but no places to read books, without central heating, burning coals to keep ourselves warm."Gereltu Borjihan(00:34:53): "In this way, I dare not to read English in my house for fear of frightening children."Gereltu Borjihan(00:34:59): "When I got up in the morning, I read books under the glow of serval streetlights. Out of energy-saving, only a few streetlights are available."Gereltu Borjihan(00:35:05): "The night was very cold, so I read books under the glow of the streetlights of the Chemical Department’s corridors."Gereltu Borjihan(00:38:39): "It’s hard to remember the English language, the same as the Japanese language."Gereltu Borjihan(00:38:51): "What shall I do, only to labor at these courses, getting accustomed to it gradually and overcoming all the difficulties in the way."Gereltu Borjihan(00:39:01): "I wouldn’t feel tired, thinking it’s not too late even at 22 o'clock"Khaltmaagiin Battulga(00:39:05): "It’s said that you conducted experiments in Japan for 14–16 hours every day, 300 times experiments every day?"Gereltu Borjihan(00:39:16): "200 times. I went out at 8 o'clock in the morning and returned home until 23 o'clock, without times for resting."The Cultural RevolutionHis father died from the cultural revolution, it should be noted huge victims of Inner Mongolia incident included Han Chinese.Gereltu Borjihan(00:46:25): "None of the happiness existed in the 10-years cultural revolution, only hardships, the cultural revolution brought disasters not only for Mongols but also for Han Chinese. It should have been non-existent in our country."I’m a child of pasturing areasGereltu Borjihan(00:56:11): "Here is the industrial base for innovation and creation found by our Bordered Yellow Banner, the research institute for developing new products."Gereltu Borjihan(00:56:11): "Here are the new Mongolian medicines collaborated with traditional Mongolian medicine hospitals."Gereltu Borjihan(00:57:32): "my daughter accepted Han classes, her Mongolian language is not so good, she doesn’t speak the Mongolian language."Gereltu Borjihan(00:57:38): "Due to study in Japan for 8 years, her Japanese level is better than her Chinese level, Chinese level is better than Mongolian level. I wish my daughter to have opportunities to understand Mongol, wish her to master the Mongolian language."B.Lhagvasuren(00:57:38): "married with a Mongol."Gereltu Borjihan(00:57:55): "She can’t speak the Mongolian language despite marrying with a Mongol."Gereltu Borjihan(00:58:43): "Now children are on the decrease, I have seen it yesterday. The villages have very few people with broken schools. Among 100 schools of Bordered Yellow Banner, 80 have closed down. such kinds of Sumu primary school were very common in the past."Gereltu Borjihan(00:59:20): "In the past, there were 4 or 6 or 8 children in a family, but it’s one now."Folks(00:59:31): "We can have two children. The family with 2 daughters can have a third child."Folks(00:59:58): "Now let’s take photos for students from Honggeer and remote guests, Nice to come here to take photos."Gereltu Borjihan(01:00:13): "There are none of the youths in pasturing areas, nobody pasture here, without herders, pasturing areas will disappear. Nomadic culture will disappear, Mongolian-speaking people will become extinct."Gereltu Borjihan(01:00:25): "The people who went to cities speak with the Chinese language, the girls marry Han Chinese, the boys marry Han Chinese. We can’t say it’s incorrect, it’s the freedom of people. Unfortunately, Mongolian-speaking people are on the decrease."Inner Mongolia’s GDP per capita is $10,322 and its PPP per capita is $19,458 via the Calculation Method of the World Bank in 2018. Abundant mineral resources lead to radical urbanization and industrialization, many Mongol herders abandoned old lifestyle and migrated to cities. Inner Mongolia’s total birth rate dropped to 1.07 in 2010. Giving birth to a child is easy, but bring up a child is a big cost in Inner Mongolia.Gereltu Borjihan(01:02:04): "What kinds of Mongols should we become is a big problem"Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:02:04): "Precisely!"Gereltu Borjihan(01:02:12): "It has become a big problem whether our children can speak the Mongolian language. So we are always thinking about how to keep Mongolian culture."Gereltu Borjihan(01:02:30): "I am a child of pasturing areas, I was an orphan at ten after my father passed away, who was a Gereltu Borjihan with a bad memory and a bad brain".Gereltu Borjihan(01:02:41): "I also studied the English language in England and studied the Japanese language in Japan, then gained p.h.D degree at University of Tokyo, I am now a scholar researching chemistry, Mongolian medicine and biology when I came back. I don’t feel inferior to others"Gereltu Borjihan(01:02:52): "Thus, what am I saying? The reason why I am so great is not that I have much wisdom, the people who experienced steppe life learn everything very quickly at the age of studying."Gereltu Borjihan(01:03:08): "The people with Mongol culture are not inflexible, they have an idea to turn impossibilities into possibilities in the rear. So we should feel proud of being a Mongol."It should be noted that Mongols in Mongolia and Inner Mongolia are acknowledged as having a good memory. Ulaanbaatar National team of memory athletes became champions at the World Memory Tour-Macau held on August 23-25 in Macau, China.[12]Improving Mongols’ conditionsB.Lhagvasuren(01:05:15): "Have you considered how to improve the Mongols’ situation?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:05:21): "How is the current situation? It’s a poor situation with smaller and smaller grazing lands, lower and lower price of mutton and making no money on herding sheep."Gereltu Borjihan(01:05:33): "Relying on livestock farming alone is impracticable, so we should develop new products, new products. The new products are not necessarily to be coals and golds in the steppes."Gereltu Borjihan(01:05:48): "The richest places in China are not Inner Mongolia, not Xinjiang, not Tibet. Where are developed? three provinces near Shanghai and Zhejiang, South China is very developed."Gereltu Borjihan(01:06:00): "But there is nothing under the ground in South China. nothing!"Gereltu Borjihan(01:07:01): "Now we are developing livestock farming, Except for manufacturing pasturing products, we are developing other products which are necessary for others."Gereltu Borjihan(01:07:14): "To make products that without Mongols, which will be in short supply. And we can make money, our rich history and culture can be passed down, we can advance together with other nations in the world."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:09:53): "Currently, Mongolia has 3 millions of populations with 60 millions of livestock. Is there any possibility to develop new products from massive livestock and sell them in global markets? Like Kumis, only we Mongols will drink it, others will be unaccustomed to it, and it's not allowed to be taken away from Mongolia."Gereltu Borjihan(01:11:46): "Acid mares milk tablet, making it into acid mares milk tablet is easy to store and transport. We can make it like this, so we can eat it in the car, in the office, but very few Mongols buy it due to the high price, it will be useful for South Chinese when they eat it."B.Lhagvasuren(01:12:20): "Is it Kumis? Is this the real Kumis?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:12:21): "Yes, it's real Kumis."B.Lhagvasuren(01:12:24): "Will polices smell the taste of Kumis when they urge the drivers to stop and do an alcohol test?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:12:27): "yes."B.Lhagvasuren(01:12:29): "Will the drivers be charged with driving under the influence?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:12:30): "No, no."Gereltu Borjihan(01:12:51): "Alcohol has been exacted from Kumis in the process of distillation, this is the wine exacted from Kumis."Gereltu Borjihan(01:12:53): "It's not difficult in terms of technology, the main problems in my view are how to introduce it to customers, how to persuade customers to buy it, and how to sell it. It’s a matter of business, how to conduct market research, how to write stories and how to sell."The patent "Defatted active acid mares milk tablet containing probiotics and preparation method" by Gereltu Borjihan is available on Google Patents.[13]Gereltu Borjihan’s motherGereltu Borjihan(01:17:10): "My mother's hometown is Khorchin, my father passed away in my childhood. My mother had no salaries, herself had no sheep, she had nothing. Among 6 children, the oldest one was under the age of 20, the youngest one was just 3 years old, So how to eat and live? At that point, my mother feed pigs and chicken and lead us to cut grass and make bricks. In this way, she brought us up."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:17:48): "So in that way, did 6 children grow up?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:17:55): "one among six children died early, 5 children graduated from colleges. 3 among 4 sons were university professors."Gereltu Borjihan(01:17:59): "Folks ask my mother, how did you educate your children? My answer is due to the good of Khorchin culture.Gereltu Borjihan(01:17:10): "Folks will say is due to the good of gene, folks always say we are the descendants of Qasar."[14]Qasar was one of Genghis Khan's three full brothers, Hasar's descendant Bolunai led the Horchin Mongols.Gereltu Borjihan(01:18:22): "When we were in our childhood, my mother was always disciplining us, which troubled us frequently, you can’t in this way or in that way. You can't sit like this when you are eating, as a man, you should sit up straight. Bowls should be laid here, the chopsticks should be laid here. Don't walk around before walking, just eating at the table. You should sweep the floors from this side, why should sweep like this. Doing everything needs demand. We were tired of it, when we can leave home to live, my mother was too strict."B.Lhagvasuren(01:20:41): "When I saw your young strong brother wore Bökh costume, did he wrestle? Was Your mother also sturdy?Gereltu Borjihan(01:20:46): "yes!"Gereltu Borjihan(01:20:49): "My father's physique is like mine, I'm the physical weakest person in my family."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:20:55): "so you became a well-known scholar?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:20:57): "My eldest brother can remember others' names and phone numbers exactly after chatting with them. my second eldest brother studies physics but his math was excellent. The Math course in Physics is not a popular course. My second eldest brother attended that course with smiles."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:21:18): "The person who was really scared with that course is sitting here"Gereltu Borjihan(01:21:19): "I never attended that course".Gereltu Borjihan(01:21:32): "My young brother was even greater."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:21:35): "Did he wrestle?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:21:36): "Wrestling, playing football and mahjong, smoking and drinking. He was always playing instead of studying, He only reviewed for 2-3 days before examining, and he became Ph.D. of Tsinghua University."Gereltu Borjihan(01:23:00): "My young brother was diagnosed with chest cancer, never before did I cried out involuntarily like this after hearing it."Gereltu Borjihan(01:23:11): "Why? My young brother was so young and strong, he was handsome than me, It's a pity that he died from cancer."Gereltu Borjihan(01:25:30): "I am always missing my mother, my mother was also an orphan, her mother passed away in her childhood. She became a widow without jobs when she was young."Gereltu Borjihan(01:26:02): "I am a scholar researching pharmacology, tried my best to cure my mother and wanted her to live longer, but all efforts went in vain."Sino-Mongolia relationKhaltmaagiin Battulga(01:27:10): "Sino-Mongolia relations become colorful right now. We had no opportunities to communicate with each other in the 1990s, right?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:27:13): "Yes!"Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:27:15): "The politics were always so cruel, in 1989, I had been to Hohhot and other pasturing areas in Inner Mongolia, leaving me an impression that Inner Mongolia hadn't been developed. Yes, It reminded me of being undeveloped and backward. Then, I came to Inner Mongolia now. The salary in Inner Mongolia is much higher than ours, I feel it gets very fine."Gereltu Borjihan(01:29:10): "Later, I watched the movie 'I love you' in the school."Gereltu Borjihan(01:29:30): "From that movie, I had seen the building with Mongol decorative patterns, the music was very melodious, we sang the revolutionary songs at that age, and the beauty of love, and the freedom of being pregnant due to love despite heroine being so young."Gereltu Borjihan(01:29:52): "At that age, we felt shocked by this, if a girl was pregnant, she would be expelled from the school, the boy who impregnated a girl would be in jail, we were living in that age."Gereltu Borjihan(01:34:47): "Currently, we can speak of Genghis Khan and worship Genghis Khan. We can speak of Mongolia and sing Mongolia song, we can praise Mongolia, the era is advancing."Soviets once forced the Mongolians to forget Genghis Khan.[15]The country was once a satellite state of the Soviet Union. At that time, the Mongolian communists under the influence of Moscow, forbid anyone from even mentioning the name of Genghis Khan, in no less measure because Genghis Khan had burned down, the center of the Slav civilization.Praising Soviet and satellite states of the Soviet Union publicly was not allowed in China after the Sino-Soviet split.Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:35:09): "Currently, we can share our thoughts with each other like you should be this and it's better only in this way, Mongolia should... Do you have something to share (to Mongolia people)?"Gereltu Borjihan(01:36:01): "Our Mongols' (cultural) capital is Ulaanbaatar, Ulaanbaatar in Mongolia., Because it's an independent and self-reliant country, people here do everything by themselves. They make cars, trains and clean rubbish by themselves, as same as making clothing. besides herders and workers, cadres, scholars, and artists are also complete."Gereltu Borjihan(01:36:01): "So no matter where Mongols live, No matter how developed, Mongolia is the inheritance of Mongols."Gereltu Borjihan(01:36:11): "if Mongolia became better, if Ulaanbaatar became better, we will have better fame. So I always wish Mongolia to have a better future. I wish Mongolia to have a good leader fighting for state interests instead of personal interests."Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:37:23): "I really appreciate that you think for us Mongolia, what you have said to us, it's very good, but…"Khaltmaagiin Battulga frowned, corruption scandals are not something new in Mongolian political fields. Former Mongolian president was jailed in 2012,[16] the giant mines in Mongolia are always corruption centers.[17]Khaltmaagiin Battulga(01:47:53): "Do you feel it's a foreign land when you visited Mongolia or Burkhan Khaldun?Gereltu Borjihan(01:47:54): "I won't, I think Inner Mongolians will feel very enthusiastic and glad to visit the real Mongolia, we won't treat it as others' hometown. But what else should I say, nobody likes to hear something like hujaa the first time. This is understandable, after all, not everyone said so."Wolf and deerWhy did the professor say Mongols' (cultural) capital is Ulaanbaatar?Individually, at least in Inner Mongolia, it’s a public view that (Outer/Khalkha)Mongolia persist more nomadic tradition and mindset. In addition, less than 50% of Inner Mongolian can speak the Mongolian language and there are rarely young herders in the steppe. Kublai Khan created an Office for Stimulation of Agriculture. [18]As far back as the Ming dynasty, Altan Khan aimed at developing both agriculture and trade. Altan Khan and his wife Erketü Qatun founded the city of Köke Khota (Hohhot), now the capital of Inner Mongolia, leading to a sedentary lifestyle.To say Inner Mongolian are Confucianized or Sinicized is not correct. The opening paragraph of the Secret History says:[19]There came into the world a blue-gray wolfwhose destiny was Heaven's willHis wife was a fallow deer.They traveled across the inland seaand when they were camped near the source of the Onon Riverin the sight of Mount Burkhan Khalduntheir first son was born, named Batachikan.The masculine attributes represented by the wolf: strength, courage and outgoing power, which is also the mainstream impression toward Mongols on Quora. On the other side, the feminine nature of the deer: Softness, fine sensitivity, and intuition are almost invisible outside, though it’s outstanding in Inner Mongolia.Overall, unfortunately, the wolf and the deer break up the family and live apart due to historical reasons. Some Mongolian will say "I feel close to Turkic people, then Chinese, then Siberian indigenous."[20] But many Inner Mongolian tend to lean towards warm and fine sensitive Siberian indigenous, the Northern peoples of the forests to get rid of poisonous masculine physique from Mongolia.HujaaHujaa is an offensive word for Chinese citizens including Inner Mongolians because Siberian feminine nature and Han civilization’s gentle nature are incompatible with "traditional" Turco-Mongol mighty and aggressive nature. A Mongolian user was attacked by drunk Mongolians who called him Hujaa because lots of Mongolians think men who wear glass looks similar to Han Chinese.[21]The offensive word came from Shanxi Chinese dialect "partner"(Chinese: "伙计"), representing the tricky Shanxi businessmen. "伙计" also means the man and woman involved in extramarital affairs(Chinese: "姘夫姘妇"). Temporary marriage between Mongol women and Shanxi farmers&merchants was common in the past, plus the lascivious corrupt Buddhist priests, leading to the majority of people had sexually transmitted infectious diseases in Mongolia and Inner Mongolia. Below is a racist song from Mongolian rappers.Ironically, the author Big Gee seemed to come to terms with the deer lady these years, he attended the 8th FREESTYLE Hip hop festival in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia on November 24, 2017. The living video is available on Tencent Video with a poor quality.[22]He attended "HonHon duun"(Chinese: "灵声音乐节") in Inner Mongolia on July 27 and 28, 2019. The living video is available on Tencent Video with a nice quality.[23]He visited the Hohhot Miami club in Inner Mongolia on July 2, 2019. The living video is available on Youku Video with a nice quality.[24]If you asked me how he got the artist VISA in China, firstly, he never meddled with politics in China; secondly, he didn’t behave offensive in Inner Mongolia; thirdly, incurable Siberian feminine nature and Han civilization’s gentle nature in Inner Mongolia.Footnotes[1] [Монгол Тулгатны 100 эрхэм] - Боржигон Гэрэлт[2] Synthesis of 3-Acetamido-3-deoxy-(1→5)-α-D-ribofuranan by Ring-Opening Polymerization of 1,4-Anhydro-3-azido-α-D-ribopyranose Derivative[3] Synthesis and anti‐HIV activity of ­6‐amino‐6‐deoxy‐(1→3)‐β‐D‐curdlan sulfate[4] Alkylation enhances biocompatibility and siRNA delivery efficiency of cationic curdlan nanoparticles.[5] ЭМГЭНЭЛ: БАВУУГИЙН ЛХАГВАСҮРЭН (1944-2019)[6] Synthesis and anti‐HIV activity of ­6‐amino‐6‐deoxy‐(1→3)‐β‐D‐curdlan sulfate[7] Traditional Medicine[8] https://www.researchgate.net/project/Neurogenesis-Mongolian-Medicine[9] Google Patents[10] CN104997770A - Liver protection application of piperlonguminine - Google Patents[11] CN103191102B - 胡椒酸的保肝护肝应用 - Google Patents[12] 蒙古团队在国际记忆力 大赛再次夺冠[13] CN100548131C - Defatted active acid mares milk tablet containing probiotics and preparation method - Google Patents[14] Qasar - Wikipedia[15] The worship of Genghis Khan[16] Former Mongolian president jailed, raising fears for mine program[17] Subscribe to read | Financial Times[18] The Mongol Dynasty[19] The Heritage and Youth of Chingis Khan[20] Do Mongolians feel culturally closer to Turkics, Chinese or Siberian indigenous people?[21] Amarsanaa Narmandakh's answer to Do ordinary Mongolians harbor intense hatred toward China, as widely reported in the press?[22] FreeStyle 8 - Big Gee - Hohhot_腾讯视频[23] BIG GEE西乌旗“灵声音乐节”之行_腾讯视频[24] BIG GEE 呼和浩特Miami酒吧