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PDF Editor FAQ

In Arizona, is it possible to be forced into a cancer treatment against my wishes?

Not unless you are a minor or someone has been given power of attorney over you and is your medical proxy (perhaps if a court has determined that you are incapable of making such decisions, such as for certain psychiatric patients or persons with dementia).

What does it feel like to have a child/spouse/sibling who is a soldier in an active war zone? How do people deal with the anxiety or communicate in such a situation?

I think I should preface my answer by saying that it really is different for everyone.My husband was in the Marine Corps when I married him over 20 years ago. After he got out of the Marines, he joined the Army National Guard. I'm going to leave off his deployment to Somalia way back in the 90s except to say that communication was via letter. (You know those handwritten pieces of paper that require a stamp and lots of time to go anywhere.)I am a pretty independent woman. I know how to take care of finances, cars, do minor repairs around the house, and can handle military paperwork and bureaucracy with finesse. This certainly makes deployments easier. By the time my husband deployed to Iraq, I had already heard about his experience in Somalia, gone through a year-long local activation, and dealt with an 18 month activation for a stateside, but different state, mission. He volunteered for all of them with my blessing. I had been chair of the Family Readiness Group before he volunteered to go out of state attached to a different unit.Then it happened. That conversation."Hey, the Cav unit out of Vegas is deploying to Iraq. They asked me if I wanted to go, what do you think?""Well, what would you be doing?""Convoy security""Well, what do you think about it? ""I think I should go do this because it's important to do my part. I'm just worried about you two. That's really the only reason I have not to go.""Go. We can manage, we will make it work out. "So he went. He deployed to Iraq in 06. What is it like? It's hard. Especially at first. I didn't have my best friend around all the time. I worried about protecting my daughter from hearing nasty things about soldiers. I once moved tables at a restaurant because the two older ladies sitting next to us were making lots of comments about stupid, murderous, soldiers.You get used to a new normal. We mostly communicated via Yahoo IM. See, he traveled all over Iraq and he would get to an outpost somewhere and send me a message and we would chat for as long as we had time. (I am so very thankful for all those IT personnel that made this possible, including Jon Davis) I had it on my phone and my boss let me put it on my computer at work, so it meant that we could have a conversation at any time. It was truly a sanity saver. The rear det (the detachment back here at home) was great during this deployment and did a great job of keeping in touch. I volunteered to be the FSG volunteer for our state since we had several families here. This allowed me to keep in touch with other Arizona families and in close contact with the rear det.We didn't do too many calls. It was just too difficult for him (and expensive to use his cell) so we saved them for special dates. And for this:"Hey, I'm OK but...."That call was for an IED that resulted in a destroyed MRAP, a Purple Heart, and some lingering TBI - although he was back on the road in less than a week.It is hard to have your best friend away but I think we did pretty good. I took care of everything here, including buying a house, while he was deployed. We trust each other so we didn't have any issues with that, although some people do.He survived. He came home. And a year later, the same unit was asking him if he wanted to go to Afghanistan. So we had a similar conversation and he mentioned that he had never been to Afghanistan...and I once again said yes. He transferred to that unit in order to go and got prepared - in addition to his training, this means wills, Power of Attorneys, and a mountain of paperwork.Once again we lived for IM and since he was on a small PRT, I sent a lot of care packages. There were also a lot more phone calls that began with "I'm OK but..."They were in Mehtar Lam and were very close when the Taliban assassinated several officials. He called to let me know that it might make the news. It did.There were other incidents but this post is already long enough as it is and I'm not done yet.At home, we continue on with our lives. I went to work, our daughter went to school. I told her teachers that her dad was deployed in case it became an issue at school. I counted on my friends and family when I needed help. I also set aside 930-10 pm as my time to cry if I needed to, if the day had just been too much. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't but I always knew that it was my time to be sad/mad/and whatever else I needed to feel.I am a firm believer in that you shouldn't spend your life worrying about things that you can't control. I approach deployments like that. There is nothing I can do here that will change what is or isn't happening to him there. Of course, there was plenty that he didn't elaborate on. Things that happened that I am only recently finding out. It's ok though, if I had known all the times that they had been engaged or ambushed, I would have worried a lot more.When you are going through it, you think you're doing great. You don't cry or get upset very often. You take care of everything. You hold your tongue when people say stupid things. You are grateful for the prayers of friends. You say your own prayers. You just deal with what happens one day at a time.But... you don't realize how much latent stress you carry with you. You get used to it and it's not until he steps off that plane and it all drains away that you know how much stress was hidden away.I love my husband very much and even though we've been through a lot. I wouldn't change a thing. Well, maybe that year when he first got out of the Marine Corps and grew his hair long - it just wasn't a good look for him.We still laugh, and love, and really what else matters.

Why are gay rights expanding so quickly?

I'd say the following:The voting demographic is getting younger. People under 60 are more likely to not see gay rights as an issue. Gay people to them are no different than black people-they are citizens that deserve freedom and protection like any other minority.People are more likely to know someone who is gay. Compared to, say the 70's and 80's, gay people are coming out more, so more people know a gay person. And they probably love that person, and cannot imagine how making their lives more miserable through government fiat helps anyone.The public is more secular. Surveys have shown that the younger you are, the more likely it is you don't attend any religious services or claim to be a religious person. Take the religious angle away, and there is no reason why a gay person should be stigmatized any more than anyone else.The Civil Rights and women's movements broke the logjam. The arguments against gay rights lost their power once blacks and women were successful, because they sounded just like the arguments that were made before the Civil Rights battles were won. People began to realize that social conservatives were dead wrong with blacks and women, so they reasoned that they are also dead wrong on this issue, and are tuning out the arguments.Social conservatives went too far. Gay marriage was not something most people really agreed on all that long ago, even some gay people didn't see it as a priority. But the backlash from social conservatives against even the most innocuous protections, such as not getting fired from your job or being denied housing struck most people, including religious people, as mean spirited and indefensible. Adn most people simply couldn't see why a gay couple couldn't visit each other in the hospital or inherit property if that was what they wanted. You may not agree with gay marriage, but to say a person should be fired for being gay, or cannot serve in the military, or cannot find housing because they are gay, or cannot choose who their heirs or power of attorney should be just sounds wrong to people, and social conservatives at one time tried to make a case that this behavior towards gays was acceptable (Arizona tried to do this not too long ago). Once people percieved anti-gay conservatives as being unreasonable in this regard, the concept of legalizing gay marriage wasn't too far behind in acceptance.People are sick of social issues like this being a thing. I know I am, and I'm a practicing Christian, so I know people who aren't religious are over all the hectoring and finger waving. People simply just don't care anymore what their neighbor chooses to do, and caring about it just takes up too much time and energy, something most people simply don't have. I think there is a feeling among most people that there are bigger problems that we as a country should be expending energy on, and whether or not two adults can live together is not heading the list. Compared to people losing their jobs, their homes, two gay people deciding to live together just isn't high on the "I give a damn about that" list.

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