The Little Book: Fill & Download for Free

Hi there,When people react in front of me or at me (which doesn’t happen often), I tend to give them at once my heart’s inquisitive attention of “Oh dear, what’s going on with him/her?” It is my heart’s attention not my mind’s nor my ego’s.That is, I instantly acknowledge in my heart that it is not about me but about them. Re-action is an acting on something. Hence, their unexpected reaction is in fact an outer expression of what they are dealing with of their own personal issue, and I feel compassion. Naturally, I can’t then take it personally. My heart’s ‘little brain’ had already instructed my mind that all is well, that I am okay and safe, that this is not my problem, and my ego to back off.Of course, it’s not easy always with Mr Ego interfering, but you will come to be that serene person with practicing the above, and adopting regular meditation and/or Energy work to keep you grounded in who you are at all time. These tools help you acquire and maintain Inner Peace, and when you have that, outer circumstances affect you very little or none at all.Have you read Conversation with God Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch? Are you acquainted with The Work of Byron Katie? I highly recommend these.To Peace and Love.

Know that shy/outgoing are just traits. You might be shy today to go to a party but you might be really outgoing when it comes to having a dinner with your family tomorrow.There are two basic strategies for any behavior change.A. Act your way into a new way of thinking.B. Think your way into a new way of acting.Many people realize that one works better for them than the other. If you already know which, then pick that. If not, do a little bit of both.To give examples for the shyness situation:A. Act your way into a new way of thinking.1. Force yourself to make eye contact with people you see during the day on the bus , cafe, work, restaurant, side walk etc. This builds your muscle to be able to look at people without feeling intimidated.2. Notice people : Play some form of people watching: Notice their clothes, shoes, do they look good, what color they wear. If you like people watching then you might even extend it towards making a quick assesment of what's their ethnicity, background, how they feel right now etc.3. Take up some classes where you would be required to speak. Personally, I enjoy improv comedy and even public speaking through toastmasters but see what works for you. It might be drama, debate, book club speeches or distributing posters for a cause you care. Getting those minutes of playing a role where people expect you to speak, will reduce the stress levels.4. Gradually increase your social exposure in other settings: Maybe start with attending more parties than you would normally, then going out with acquaintances rather than friends and then going to gatherings where you are a complete stranger.Two important thing for all the above activities:1. Pace yourself: For instance, if you were to walk into a bar by yourself on Friday, you are likely to experience a lot of anxiety (and be hit upon by all kinds of weird dudes), the experience might suck and your confidence might actually go down. So, pace yourself properly.2. Observe yourself mentally and physically: Constantly observe how you feel in those situations. What thoughts come into your head: Everyone is having a great time, I am a loser, this is not for me etc.How do you feel in your body: does your stomach have butterflies, do you get a headache, do you perspire, is there pain in any part of the body etc.Later on, reflect and challenge those notions.Mental: Is it really true that "everyone" was having a great time. Maybe there were few people who looked bored or anxious. You could use "The Work" of Byron Katie.For body sensations: You can use techniques like EFT or simply try to relax those parts of the body consciously through deep breathing.B. Think your way into a new way of acting.This is what a lot of the mental attitude side goes.Things like:1. Imagine you were the host at the party.2. Imagine you were a rockstar and everyone wanted to know you.3. What if this wasn't a room of strangers but that of your kindergarten friends whom you obviously cannot recognize today and don't remember too much about.4. Imagine you are 10 years older and have overcome your shyness completely. How would you now behave.5. Imagine you will never meet any of those people again so that your impressions today don't matter. Just have a good time.Eventually, all those situations are possible and you are likely to feel less pressure and shyness in them.So, use your imagination to put your mind at ease and then act the way you would normally.You could experiment with techniques around challenging one's beliefs (Morty Lefkoe), visualizations, NLP etc.One thing that I know personally helps is to start practicing some form of meditation/mindfulness exercises - even simple ones like focusing attention on the breath for 5 minutes.Closing:In general, for most people, it's easier to think differently first (you do it privately in your head and there is no loss of money/fame) and then act differently.However, the results are a lot faster if you take the route of action. Of course, there is more time & practical resources involved.All the best and notice that you weren't shy in posting the question or reading the answer. :-D

Try Byron Katie’s “The Work” -The Work of Byron Katie2. Find ways to have a peaceful mind -Here’s a book that has helped me a lot to learn to let go of what my mind is saying about negative situations - ‘Coming to Wholeness’ by Connirae Andreas.It gives a way to move from the mental thoughts about the problem - to the sensations in the body - and how to work toward releasing them.I can get lost in the body sensations and forget about what my mind was fussing over - but that is only easy for little problems!