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***Opinion piece — personal experience only, no statistics implied***As an immigrant who came here as a teenager (late middle school) in the late 90s, here are a few “odd” customs that seem obvious to every “true born” American but plain odd to me as a naturalized one (note that odd does not equate to wrong, just something that didn’t seem very obvious to me; this is in no way intended to bash or offend, merely a reflection of my own culture shock when I first came and things I had to adjust to mentally as normal, regular or accepted):Eating popcorn is strongly associated with a movie going experience — must be a marketing propaganda working very effectively. Admittedly, I’ve too come to associate the taste of popcorn with the movies (or some performing art event even if it’s not the movies)People go to the “ball park” for recreation — i.e. to watch baseball games. It was an odd choice for me. I grew up going to the theater. I have found again and again going to the symphony, for example, that the median age is well above 60 — yet this is something that seemed very normal to do where I am from in Eastern Europe for families.Hot dogs and beer — this goes hand in hand with the ball park — this is apparently a nearly religious level, untouchable experience / tradition that cannot be broken or challengedSuperbowl — every February, everyone glues themselves to TV screens at the bars or at home (which must be a party occasion) to watch this very American version of football, a sport unknown elsewhere. People bet money on winning teams, and commercial brands everywhere shell out top dollar to attract highest level television audiences for a whole year for this most watched televised event of the year (exceeding audiences for the Olympics when they air)National days of just about anything — there is a national ice cream day and a national sibling day, for example. These aren’t official holidays but yet great opportunities for marketing (someone call Hallmark). And they seem to grow, with new ones added every year. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that we’ll soon have national days every single day, with multiple occasions, and you’ll have to pick whether to celebrate your sibling or, say, a cat day (perhaps get your sibling to hold your cat for a photo?)Christmas cards / photos and gift exchange frenzy. People go out of their way to mail you a photo of themselves and their pet / new child etc., even if you are completely unrelated to them (and probably don’t care all that much, let’s be very honest). People take decorating their house and yard (if any) for holiday occasion very seriously. Lights are taken down and trees removed immediately following the New Year, sometimes even before. Christmas music heard sometimes a month in advance of the holiday in many commercial dwelling spaces such as restaurants and shopping malls.Offices and cubicles decorated with a lot of personal paraphernalia such as photos of babiesPeople dressing their petsPeople name wild animals, e.g. someone has a pet fish / tarantula named Jack or there is a lion named John at the zooPink and blue. I had no idea before, - -I suppose, it’s another aftermath of a highly successful marketing phenomenon I refer to as “Disney culture” — but my own culture shock was the realization that there is a fairly acknowledged concept of gendered colors. I still prefer dark colors personally, e.g. dark green / brown, but find it tricky to shop for such colors at a minimum for girls (adult styles are much more neutral). It doesn’t end with clothes — bicycles, gear, everything MUST be pink, or somehow your child is no longer considered girly. Very odd.Bathing suits /bikinis on little girls — in the old world, all the little kids just ran around the beach bare, and there was no distinction in swimwear for girls vs. boys until adolescenceBoy-only and girl-only schools (vs. coed), there is even a YMCA and a different YWCA (and of course a JCC). ***nowadays, the gender / religious affiliation are not required to join***This one is strictly in comparison with the former USSR, but I found it odd that the schoolchildren would not stand up to greet their teachers upon entering - this was a sign of respect in the old country. Also, no uniforms and everyone wears something different daily, and it’s considered nearly unsanitary to appear wearing the same outfit 2 days in a rowReciting the pledge of allegiance to the Flag in public school dailySchool busesSpeaking in second person when discussing arbitrary situations, i.e., “You can’t just cross the street without a crosswalk, that would be jaywalking”. (More natural would have been a passive third person, i.e. “One oughtn’t…”Thanksgiving and Christmas are public holidays, but there is freedom of religion and separation of church and state (presumably). (Who or what are we giving thanks to?)JournalingIn middle school, I found it odd to have assignments on freeform writing on topics such as “What am I grateful for today”. I was used to much more either analytical writing pieces on literature or hard science.CheerleadingNerds, jocks, bulliesFraternities and sororities, initiation ritualsOnly having about 6 subjects a year in school, and classes would repeat daily. (In comparison, in Eastern Europe, even middle school curriculum would consist of about 22 courses, which would be offered about twice a week with the exception of mathematics, which was 6 hours a week in my class with intensive physics and mathematics focus)Lack of cursiveToilets — the facilities — are called bathrooms or restrooms; the actual basin is the toilet here.People sit on public toiletsNo permanent circus arts except in Las Vegas, “the entertainment capital”; traveling troupes are much more common, with visiting tours in big citiesNo global musical scene, with the exception of other English speaking countries. No one would know popular Italian, French or Russian artists unless they happen to be hobbyists or in the tradeDriving is allowed at 16 and even 15 with a parentGiant backyards, stairs inside houses, basements and attics, multiple bathrooms in a single family homeThe existence and appeal of suburbiaPeople caring about politicians’ personal lives, family etc. No one in the old country cared or often knew even the names of a politician’s spouse, much less care about someone’s lifestyle behind closed doors. That said, seeing / hearing a politician speak on the radio or TV was a daily occurrence where I was from, but here it’s only on a few select stations.Media / TV stations change from city to cityGun laws — another untouchable, near riot-worthy topicFreedom of speech taken to every level right or wrongHighway country and lack of central transitStates have nearly independent authority on everythingDriver licenses are much more ubiquitous than passportsLandscaping (ie the requirement to trim the bushes on your property)Political correctness (which nearly repeals the aforementioned freedom of speech)Obvious instructions existing solely for legal reasons, i.e. instructions on hair dryers stating “not for internal use”Existence of a return policy on most purchased items. Receipts given for everything (or offered)Lack of public telephones, especially since the widespread use of mobile phones, even at international hubs such as airports, where they still exist but sparinglyCollect calls and toll phone numbers. There is an 800- number for everything.State capitals may not coincide with a culturally or socially popular city. E.g., the capital city of the state of California is Sacramento, not San Francisco or Los Angeles, possibly its best known cities. New York City is not the capital of New York State.Tips for customary service, such as restaurants, on top of the listed menu priceBargaining at retail is typically unusual, unless you are at a place like a “flea market”. The label price tag is the final non-negotiable price. Sales prices are determined by the retailer / owner. The exception to this is things that are sold person to person, such as a car, where a lot of back and forth negotiating may happen; and real property where there is a whole complicated system of offering and counter-offering that’s fairly expected. Business negotiations of course are a whole other concept too.Grocery store baggers, shopping carts, spaces for shopping carts, escalators for shopping carts (the latter I've only seen in Seattle)Size and prevalence of (painted/designated) parking lotsThe sheer variety of flavors of everything; probably 17 different brands or names for the same (or similar) thing, yogurt that comes in colors and flavors, many different kinds of marinara sauce etc. Free markets, at its bestWeddings are planned for a year, sometimes years. People stay engaged for years.Baby showers (i.e. throwing a party in anticipation of a not-yet-born baby, largely to collect gifts / well wishes and celebrate with close friends and family)Planning one’s own funeral or discussing funeral plans with one’s relatives, buying a future burial plot of land for oneself or a loved oneHalloweenHallmark cards, birthday cakes for adults (complete with birthday cake candles), packaged gifts for adults (wrapping paper and all)Pension plans can be / frequently are invested in the volatile stock market. Government pension (social security) paid around age 80 if you were born after 1980, while the median life span is around 69–72Asking one’s age or income, or even a price paid on a house is considered taboo, but asking where someone is from is commonplace (at least in my experience as a person with a noticeable “foreign” accent)Strangers smile at you for no apparent reason other than to appear friendlyFormal invitations are sent to even closest family members for formal occasions (e.g. weddings, anniversaries, graduations)It is impolite to come to someone’s house without a formal invitation in advance, even for neighbors, close friends or family. At the same time, people often show up completely empty handed to a party or dinnerNo slippers / bathrobes worn in the house, usually full outfits and even shoes (this one I’m unsure about still). Pants / shorts worn as sleepwear. Pajamas / undergarments worn outside at school dorms in cafeterias, sometimes even out and about by teenagersSmoking bans in most indoor spacesPornography is legal (and highly lucrative)“Pot” (marijuana) is legal in numerous states(This gem might be unique to Seattle) People coming to the planetarium to get high, not to, say, learn about the planetsGraduating from high school is a very big deal and a pride factor for manyDisneyland as a must visit destinationThe concept of “projects” (low income housing buildings, sections, or whole neighborhoods — modern day “ghettoes”)Widespread homelessness and begging in the large cities, abandoned looking, urine infested subway stations in major central hubs of large cities (where they even exist)Traffic lights are different for pedestrians than for drivers, and the sequence is red back to green, skipping yellow on the change from redRoad signs are labeled with words, not assumed to be understoodThe mall is a favorite pastime (literally, way to pass time) for kids / families — besides the ball park, of coursePhotographing or videotaping live human birth, handing out ultrasound film to family members (or posting it to social media) ahead of a birth, and having the father heavily involved in the birthing process including cutting the umbilical cord (in the old country, men would have been strictly forbidden from the room, if nothing else, for sanitary reasons)Spelling words one letter at a time and spelling contests (called spelling bees), which reward correct writing. However, no dictation tests are givenTests are scored based on multiple choices. Open ended exams are highly uncommon (except in advanced placement courses in high school — considered college level and earned for college credit), and verbal exams or proofs are nearly nonexistentKids are taught to do “whatever makes them happy”, with little regard for consequence or poor choices. Learning from mistakes is considered a great merit.College students are considered and called colloquially college “kids”. They may remain on their parents’ health insurance up until age 26 as a dependent. Legal age / being of adult age is considered 21, but age to give consensus to a romantic relationship ranges from 16–18 by state. However, persons age 18 (considered to have reached adulthood in most places around the world) are able to leave the home to go to college, though most will continue to depend on the parents for support for many more years — but it’s customary to separate from the parents to go to college or as a sign of having gained independence. Alcohol consumption is restricted until age 21, even in the presence of parents, and parents can get in a lot of trouble for allowing it. In the meantime, college drinking / binge parties and overdosing are commonplace.Sports team jersey merchandiseTardiness at school gets you detention (requirement to stay after school, but not to make up class; simply as a punishment / lockdown for the infraction). Multiple such detentions can grant you suspension, which, ironically, keeps you out of schoolHomerooms — schoolchildren gather in a room 15–30 minutes before class starts. That’s it, they gather for order and roll call. There is no lecture, instruction, or class.At school, there are class times just to “study” called “study hall” with no instructionHigh school proms (formal dances), with all of the hoopla and the surrounding social pressures; sweet 16’s; graduating at the end of elementary school, middle school, etc., the tradition of throwing caps in the air at graduation.People loudly cheering in stadiums at performances, speech acceptances, etc., especially if it’s someone they know personallyA formal wedding ceremony is required to legalize a marriage license in many states, ie it’s not sufficient to have a marriage certificate issued by a city / state official. A ceremony may involve saying vows, witnesses, and it’s not just a formality but an actual requirement.In courts of law (including for example the naturalization ceremony, or a jury duty), you are required to take an oath to tell the truth that ends with “so help me god”Jury duty: anyone 18 and older who is a citizen is required to participate in the randomly selected civic jury duty, which is to say, to sit in on a trial if required. It is a great honor and a way to participate in the system.Politicians openly accept campaign donations; mud slinging to berate opponents running for office is widely acceptedMilitary draft is not mandatory, and people are paid to serve in the militarySitting on the floor / carpetPutting food plates on the floor (such as in an auditorium)Standing seats in concertsNo feral animals seen on the streetsPeople cannot understand the metric systemPeople set aside savings, buy investments, buy expensive vacations, but claim they have no disposable money (i.e. no cash) — this took a long time to comprehend in social situations. Cash in general, in large sums (let’s say above $100) is suspicious. You’ll be questioned (literally or figuratively) for either money laundering or simply assumed to be filthy rich because you have a $100 bill. At the same time, people sell vehicles for cash everyday. Something somewhere is still missing in that one.People will warn you about reporting you for things like speeding, and then go ahead and do it — right in front of youHonkingMany topics are considered taboo because of possibility of lawsuit for slander or offense (see “political correctness”) or worse. The legal system is full of precedents that set forth a new norm, erring on the side of caution and sometimes absurdity around the degree of the fear of risk. While Americans on average are considered a generous people, with many offering help to charity through monetary contributions, gestures of actual, physical help can be met with suspicion and as a threat. One bus driver refused to help an old lady, clearly struggling, come up some steep steps — something most Europeans would have done without thinking. When I directly asked him, why, he said, “Lady, I don’t want to be sued for improper touching.”Airline staff will not help with bags, likely due to liabilityEvery kind of insurance: car insurance, home insurance, disability insurance, even life insurance (for when you’re… dead)Mass produced food is the only known variant. There is no concept of truly fresh produce, dairy, meat or freshly baked bread unless you are lucky enough to be close to a farmFoods I hadn’t seen or heard of previously: peanut butter, donuts, salsa. Pairings of bread with everything but butter: i.e. jam, and said peanut butter. Peanut butter and jelly is a staple. Salads are “dressed” with a variety of mixtures. (We only had the concept of sour cream, mayonnaise or oil as a dressing.)Obsessions with diets: low-fat, low-carb, Atkins, lactose free, gluten free, etc. At the same time, everything or nearly everything is overstuffed with preservatives, chemicals, and hormones for longevityAllergies to everything: food allergies, drug allergies. People knowing what allergies they have. Runny nose usually indicates allergy, not necessarily a cold (apparently)The idea of raw milk scares most people. How _did_ all those other humans survive this whole time?Mushrooms have a funny connotation, not the marinated kind your grandma made. Nobody goes berry picking unless you’re on a special farm and it’s a tourist activity.Soups taste like gravy and aren’t purely liquidSauce or condiments are paired with everything, and meats and cheeses are sandwiched in buns. Hot dogs must be on buns, or else you’re having a frank / sausage (which apparently are different, somehow)People frown on eating organs of poultry etc. That stuff is fed to the pigs.Tea is considered a British or oriental tradition. There are tea places but many cafes will only offer generic tea bag options or none at all, but high selections of coffeeChain restaurants, malls, department stores, specialty stores that look identical. Every suburban town has the same or nearly identical setup inside a mallPlastic and paper packaging is literally on everything. Nutrition labels are required on most packaged foods.The size of grocery storesAvailability of out of season fresh fruit year round (imported)Ice cream is a very underwhelning grocery store item available year-round in all sizes and flavors (but tasting overly sweet for European taste)Companies are religious about customer service. Companies go out of business for claims of poor customer service.A Chinatown in every large cityPeople recycle, and compost organic garbage / yard wasteThese expressions have specific connotations / associations: “going for a coffee” — usually a formal meeting such as with a business acquaintance, to get to know them or gather information, whether or not coffee is involved; “going out” = either dating someone (romantically) or going to a party or social gathering, depending on context in the way it is used; “going up”/ inviting someone up: an invitation for romantic contact at the end of a datePrevalence of cursing as accepted lexicon on TV (censored or not) as well as in comedy, while nudity is tabooHumor aimed at one’s family and parents in standup comedy, humor about farting. Acceptance of public farting in general, when you're an adult, particularly in gatherings of males in watching football or similar activitiesLaughter and choppy diction in local news anchor delivery (would be grounds to be fired in the old country)People smile on their state issued IDGangsta rap culture / subculturePrevalence of Spanish language TV and options (to accommodate huge and rapidly growing Hispanic immigrant and descendant population)Salesmen that come to your house, the whole home shopping business, and telemarketingMeasuring cities by blocksBuilt-in closetsJoint bath and toilet roomThere are probably many, many more that merely can’t come to the mind at the moment.

A major reason: identity politics and political correctness gone too far.At least here in deep-blue Seattle, a city I love, the amount of guilt-penance being dished out by schools and in media is starting to overflow beyond the bounds of common sense. And I think educators are largely unaware that with heavy-handed approaches to discussing inclusion and diversity (which too often manifests in the opposite: exclusion and sameness of thought) they risk unintentionally minting new conservatives. Of the teens I know, many are starting to question the far left’s central dogma.What’s the dogma? It’s that “Oppression and/or access-denied-by-others fully explains all observed social outcome discrepancies.”And this dogma, mind you, cannot be openly challenged without risking major social and academic repercussion. Teens who might want to introduce or explore additional discrepancy-explainers, such as personal responsibility, culture, parental involvement, expectations and agency will feel silenced. To diversity directors and administrators I want to shout that it need not be mutually exclusive: discrepancies can and nearly always have multiple explainers, and it doesn’t take away from any majority explainer to acknowledge that other forces are at work. But some of these possible alternate explainers are uncomfortable to voice and explore, certainly for young preteens and teens.This “silencing” not being simpatico with the typical teen desire to process thoughts and express and assert independence, “the rest of the story” gets sublimated, and many once-liberal students retreat to online venues to process what they feel intuitively must be the “rest of the story.”Very unfortunately, and not just for the student but for those of us who want to mint more allies in seeing social progress — the conservative blogosphere is also teeming with an ample share of racist, xenophobic, homophobic, hateful memes, and conspiracy-theory-promoting jerks. So by silencing the second half of the conversation about personal agency in school or polite company — whether it’s #MeToo or women in STEM or disparities in academic achievement between the races, it’s actually pushing the discussion and exploration elsewhere, and that elsewhere has equally little nuance, but in the other direction. (I do not consider Dr. Peterson one, but he is portrayed that way by a lot of dishonest people.)In 2019 America — and not just in schools — across politics, news, media, social media, and entertainment — we are allowed to digitally opt into the worldviews we agree with and opt out of the ones which challenge our worldview. I wish I could express just how counter-productive and misguided I think these last ten years or so of confrontational, guilt-oriented, unitary-explainer-only “discussion” has been to the very important and vital goals of an inclusive, socially-aware, helpful and respectful civil society. When shutting down or minimizing, or unfairly characterizing discussion about things like agency and choice, it more often than not mints more conservatives.We have eradicated nuance, but we tell ourselves we’re open to all viewpoints and datapoints. We regularly invite “conversations about X,” but too often are only truly open to discussing oppression-oriented explainers. We way overemphasize inalterable identity attributes. Too often, what follows “Speaking as a…” is given far more validity than the overall data itself. This preamble erects an unassailable defense, where any challenge to the assertion which immediately follows it is interpreted as an “invalidating” personal insult.I really wish we could return to the universalist, ally-building approach where Martin Luther King urged us all to judge not people by the color of their skin but the content of their character. But today’s most “progressive” [sic] left will only allow one’s inalterable identity attributes (e.g., gender, race, sexual preference, and religion in the case of one or two specific religions) to be front and foremost.Further, since teens aren’t generally socially permitted to say out loud some very uncomfortable, messy notions they might still want to process (examples below*), there’s zero openness to these messy thoughts being aired, and very little truly sincere discussion actually exists about controversial issues, though administrators will assure you sincere debate exists. To many of them, this means a heavy emphasis on oppression/lack-of-access-based-explainers, but very little consideration of volition-based explainers for any inequities in society.Worse, kids who are wearing the invisible “oppressor” t-shirt look around and see all kinds of other kids getting celebrated for bringing their whole person to school, and lots of extra-mile work being done to open doors. But generally, a “you’ll be just fine, believe me” attitude is what you’ll receive if you dare raise any of your own offense or hurt feelings, leading immediately to a feeling of unfairness.For example, let’s say we observe a social injustice — a discrepancy of some kind (e.g., female/male pay gap, female representation in STEM, income inequality between races, academic achievement gap between races or sexes, etc.) I can assure you that schools will rightly devote extensive, ample exploration about what kinds of oppression and/or lack of access contributed to the problem, and how students can help work in their communities to right it. OK, that’s fantastic, it’s important, and needed. I applaud that it happens. And I engage in such conversations in work and social settings. I have such conversations at home with our kids.But notably absent from these discussions are any exploration of factors involving personal volition, personal responsibility, work, choice, and cultural norms or values which might also help explain, which might invite all to become partners in addressing it, and which also take just a little of the focused burden off the unnamed but very-obvious-who-we’re-talking-about “oppressors” in the room.The furor over the Damore memo (“Google’s Ideological Echo Chamber”) is a case in point — if you actually read it, it’s saying women too have agency, and several psychological studies do actually show that women and men differ biologically on several dimensions, including personal interest[1]. The Damore memo is also repeatedly stating that “on average” does not mean “all,” and that differences abound. But he was summarily fired, and the memo mischaracterized. It is worth asking whether this type of atmosphere for ideas which challenge is equally welcoming.Though I’ve only had second-hand observation, in speaking with some teens in an open-ended way, I’d have to say that the “Oppression explains virtually all observed discrepancies in outcomes” is a fairly consistent lens through which all social issues are presented and explored at school (or at least the sentiment outcome desired), and anyone who raises other points which may in any way challenge the hegemony of this worldview can be quickly portrayed as racist, misogynistic, insensitive, or otherwise hateful, with little adult intervention, defense, or scaffolding.Particularly for the millions of white male kids coming of age after around 9/11, it can grow tiring — and it is far different from the aspirational, we-can-all-win, we’re all on the same team style-vision instilled in those of us raised with Martin Luther King style “content of their character” mores, vision, and goals which were common when I came of age in the 70’s and 80’s. What would you do after years of this type of discussion? Try to keep your chin up? Remember that you’ve got integrity and will do the right thing anyway? In discussions, you’ll play along. You’ll sit on those uncomfortable ideas which round out the story, and perhaps not bring your full self and very valid opinions to school discussion.Sadly, in today’s world, you’re either the oppressed or the oppressor, and worse, you don’t even get to choose the side; the t-shirts have already been printed and handed out, the very moment the discussion was framed through an inalterable-identity way.Speaking of diversity, doesn’t political diversity make us stronger too?It’d be very surprising to me if any of my kids’ schools (fine schools academically, but each handling social justice with very different degrees of nuance and resultant quality) have ever had a single right-of-center general assembly speaker who might actually introduce ideas from a conservative lens. But I do know they’ve each had several left-of-center speakers who explore racism, misogyny and other victim-centric approaches, who make it amply clear where the problem lies, even if it’s couched in terms of “we all need to work on this oppression”. For those of you parents with teens; ask them if they’ve ever heard of, or been assigned reading of Thomas Sowell. Unlikely.If you’re a white male, especially one of privilege, there’s no question who’s got the target on their back, even if you have been (and would have continued to be) a solid ally. In the current academic paradigm, you’re generally made to feel as either the oppressed or the oppressor, and that’s a shame — this heavy-handed approach is alienating potential allies.If you know in your heart that you’re not an oppressor, after a few years of this in junior high and high school, it’d be natural for many teens to hop off the rails of ostensibly “open” dialogue into their respective online echo chambers, and technology is only too happy to oblige with a simple “follow” or “unfollow.”—-It all starts out well enough.For the first several grades, childhood can be full of optimism, celebration of individuality and largely well-executed “you can do anything” opportunity messaging. Of course we ought to treat people the way we wish to be treated. Of course we ought to give those who haven’t had as much opportunity a leg-up. Of course it’s offensive and inaccurate to make broad-brush statements about a person simply because of their race, gender, religion, sexual preference, physical traits or what-have-you. These common-sense principles all line up with the Golden Rule. It is an upbeat, inspirational message that lets people know that they can be the sum of their actions and choices. Awesome. We’re all on the same page.But for kids born in the late 90’s through today, the messaging they’ve heard beginning around ten started to change dramatically. If you’re a white kid of privilege, especially if you’re male, you hear all kinds of reasons why you’re in the doghouse. After years of being raised with the common sense guidelines of treating others the way you wish to be treated, you start hearing the clear and often oddly proud proclamations treating your identity group and therefore you with negative prejudgment. (Hey, heard or read many good things about “white males” or “whiteness” lately? You’re ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. How are you hearing that? When you run across Buzzfeed’s “37 Things White People Ruined in 2017,” or any one of dozens of such articles from The Root, Salon, or Vox what’s your reaction likely to be?)The implicit message devolves to “Hey sure, it’s very important for you to continue to treat people solely based on their actions and words and never their inalterable attributes because that would be unfair and offensive, but when others don’t do the same for you, well, they’re doing the right thing for them, and that’s OK because you’re in this particular identity group, even though you too didn’t choose it for yourself. Look. You’ll be fine; I’ll get my tiny violin.”Believe me, that screaming hypocrisy is not lost on many young teens.Eventually, as kids grow into adolescence, many kids who are breezily lumped into identity groups to say something negative or claim currency or name as historical oppressors or abusers-in-waiting might rationally begin to consider the notion that maybe they don’t actually bear personal responsibility for slavery, that maybe they’re not all born Harvey Weinstein wannbe’s, that maybe the burritos they enjoy aren’t harmful “cultural appropriation”, and that maybe Martin Luther King Jr. was right after all when he said that we should not judge people by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. The heavy-handed approach of an overly progressive left is alienating potential allies.Related, the progressive left has become a real downer, hasn’t it? Who wants to indulge in that all day? We’re ruining our planet, we’re oppressing everyone, we’re to blame for everything. It’s simply loaded on too thick for many budding teens. It decidedly lacks a positive vision of equal or greater weight to counterbalance the many negative themes. Why? Because perhaps unification is not the goal — only a little more thought will reveal that unification is in fact not possible with identity politics. These concepts — unification and identity politics — are antithetical.If all outcome discrepancies are fully explained by oppression and lack of access, it makes it much more justifiable — even mandatory — to compel redistribution of any outsize gains or achievements by government fiat. So there is a natural partnership between this exclusive-explainer model and the philosophical underpinnings of socialism. They reinforce each other.Quick, who are today’s heroes? Are they socialist? Do they argue about victimhood, real or perceived slights, or penance owed? When you think of young visionaries like Elon Musk and building rockets and electric cars and changing the world, do you immediately think of the progressive left, socialism, and redress politics? Or do you think about individual responsibility, the benefits of capitalism, can-do optimism and a potentially bright future? Futuristic companies — those planning for the 2030’s — need to have some big picture optimism and big, hairy, audacious goals. So too do teens. Young boys, especially, are constantly told in the larger social awareness movement what not to do and how not to behave, and other groups are visibly celebrated and encouraged. But the positive role models are being gradually chipped away from their lives.Sadly, an optimistic, expansive and hopeful message isn’t really being delivered by the progressive left these days. It used to be, but those days are gone for now. It’s all too often a guilt-driven, schoolmarmish, you’re-to-blame because-of-your-identity-group-but-only-for-certain-groups, the-pie-is-fixed, everything-sucks kind of redress-oriented message.The right is now generally more likely to defend freedom of expression, open debate, and accountability on an individual level, and the progressive left is arguably in some cases more authoritarian and too quick to focus on unalterable attributes of an individual, broadly their “identity group”, to assign collective judgment and/or demand action.Schools like to feel they are embracing a healthy dialogue on touchy subjects like sexual assault, misogyny and sexism, racism, income inequality, and many more topics, but the discussion tends to allow only for an oppression-style explainer. That is, the debate rarely allows for challenging data or perspectives from the right — e.g., the rapid rise of fatherless homes, cultural norms which “define success down” or chide high achievers for “acting white,” the data that suggests that some of the pay-gap between women and men is driven by which fields are typically chosen by individuals, etc. Since the social and sometimes academic cost are just too high for raising it, most perspectives which might challenge the “oppression/racism/sexism/etc is the only explainer for discrepancies” (and guess who’s the perpetrator in all cases) model are left to online chat rooms, rarely the school itself. The in-class discussion is incomplete, and only able to process the oppression part of the model — meaning: oppressor: bad, and don’t try to inject any notion of personal responsibility, or you’ll be shredded.And so, for many young teens coming of age, the “victimhood as currency” approach is a turnoff. Queue another Ben Shapiro follower.I hope the pendulum may someday swing back to the beautiful, optimistic and inclusive dream of MLK, and there’s some hope that it will.Even the erudite and often thoughtful left-leaning opinion sites are starting to question the value of identity politics:Also see: Why are there so many people now openly hostile toward “Social Justice Warriors”?Recommended: Mark Lilla’s The Once and Future LiberalIf any of the above rings true for you or a teen in your life, I’d be honored with an upvote; there are far too many intelligent and well-meaning friends on the left who don’t think this is an issue.[EDIT: 1,000+ upvotes. Thank you to the many students who have chimed in on the comments section, voicing agreement. You hearten me. Do not turn away from social progress and judging people by the content of their character. Keep hope alive.]—*Examples of such uncomfortable notions that cannot and must not be expressed or explored at school, lest you be a social or even academic pariah: “Doesn’t level of parental involvement radically affect student outcome, and isn’t the unmarried rate in certain communities much lower than other communities? By that logic, is racism really the only explainer for why black citizens are incarcerated at such a higher rate than other ethnic groups, or is there anything cultural that may also be at foot which holds back achievement?” “What’s behind the fatherless crisis in some minority communities?” “Does personal choice enter into the reason why there’s an 80/20 male:female ratio of EE/CS majors, or is it all oppression or lack of access? Are we saying the oppression and lack of access is the sole explainer for the choice of major one makes when attending college? I look around and see plenty of access that my female peers have to technology from grade school on up, just as I do, and I can count literally hundreds of systemic efforts to encourage more female STEM participation. Is the discrepancy still exclusively explained by oppression or is there some element of choice here? Are the gender imbalances in the education, medical and Human Resources fields similarly explained by oppression, or would you say choice is a big part of the equation?”Do NOT misrepresent my viewpoint. I am not denying that sexism, racism, lack of access, historic oppression, etc. exist. They most definitely do. I am questioning that they are exclusive explainers for all observed outcomes, and saying that NOT allowing the conversation to even include other potential contributors (and heaping scorn on those who raise these issues for discussion) is part of what’s alienating allies.The irony is that many educators go to conferences with seminars which cogently and deeply tackle these and other topics more honestly, openly, and completely, but in the school environment, there is an overemphasis on the “oppression explains this discrepancy” model compared to those explainers which involve personal volition, choice, responsibility and culture.Footnotes[1] Relationship of gender differences in preferences to economic development and gender equality

In relation to what? And what do you mean by “good?”Overall, the first thing I had to do when reading this question is google “NYIT.” It shows that it’s not recognizable to most. Maybe employers in the New York area might know it, but frankly, out of the area, I would say very little do.I produced a piece on what colleges are the best earlier this year. I’ll copy and paste it here to help maybe understand what I consider at least is a “good college.”I’m sorry if you were hoping for “yes, it’s a good college,” but again, it depends on what you mean by “good.” It could be considered good to some, but overall, I am always looking at “the best.” So, please understand why my answer may be this way.Which Top American Colleges are Truly the Best to Earn a Degree in 2016?For over 20 years, I’ve analyzed the many lists and surveys* about the Top Universities in the United States and the World. A recent inquiry from one of our valued clients reminded me there is significant need to “educate” people in Hong Kong and the world about these rankings and share what I’ve learned. As a result, I’ve decided to aggregate some of my best advice and share it with all of you.It was incredibly important for me to spend this time finally because the landscape is confusing.As you can see from the listing in Wikipedia on College Rankings, there are 19 different rankings they list right away. And these are ONLY the global rankings.If you examine the Regional and National rankings, there are many separate articles that elaborate on how individual nations evaluate higher institutions of education. For example, 3 publications are known to rate colleges in the article on university rankings in the uk: Mayfield University Consultants have created The Complete University Guide, the top UK newspaper regularly publishes a College Guide and The Sunday Times publishes the Good University Guide (and note, this is only one of the 29 different countries they list).The USA has become known for Top UniversitiesAt the same time, the U.S. rankings have become almost the default list of schools for “the world.” As written earlier, the United States supposedly hosts many of the Top Universities. We explain how US universities outdo their european counterparts even using UK based publications. In the same article cited above, the US’s set of rankings was the most exhaustive. It listed 16 different sets of rankings plus a number of “others” which pushes the list to potentially over 20 that are “well known.”There’s the grandaddy of them all: US News & World Report. It’s been around since 1983. This list has so much power that Michael Luca in 2011 claimed that:“The ranking order of universities has been shown to have great effect; a one-rank improvement leads to a 0.9% increase in number of applicants.”In the most recent National Rankings (within the US), they listed Princeton University in New Jersey as #1:And their Top Liberal Arts rankings places Williams College in Massachussetts as #1:While the publication lists their methodology very clearly on their website, do you ever wonder if their location in New York city has anything to do with the fact that all 6 of these Top Universities are in the East Coast? Hmmm…However, if you look at the Top 5 Employers in the world, the #1 company is based in the west coast and founded by two “west coast university” grads. Hmmm (again)…Google was founded by two Stanford graduates. Why is this University which has the lowest admissions rates of all collegesfailing to place in the top 3 in the most recent “grandaddy of all rankings?” Shouldn’t the most sought after university in the world be #1?Also, if you look at the following wired magazine article which analyzes all the universities where Google employs its staff, you can see that it is definitely not Princeton. The schools that “feed” google are the likely candidates like Stanford & UC Berkeley or two other tech behemoths: MIT & Carnegie Mellon. However, UCLA grads also find a way to get into Google more than the average college graduate. However, if you look at the graphic and read the story, you will hear that there are a good number of x-Microsoft employees now at Google. Where do Microsoft employees normally graduate? Well, below, you will see some analysis on the UW and that’s where a significant number of Microsoft staff finished college.In 2003 through approximately 2006, I was the #2 sales person in a Real Estate office in Bellevue, Washington. I sold a $1.75 million dollar home to Adrian Beltre, an MLB all star. In the contract though during the sales process, the seller was this gentleman who was being recruited by Google. He was one of the top minds at Microsoft, but after I “googled” him, I found that the search engine company was being sued by the PC Operating system company for “stealing away” talent from the old wall street darling. Let’s just say it wasn’t going to be the only Microsoft employee that Google stole away. Hundreds, if not thousands of Microsoftees were becoming Googlers, but again, where did the Microsoft employees start? The UW.How about “Visvesvaraya Technological University”? Well, obviously IBM has or its HR recruiters. The graph above clearly shows many somewhat lesser known universities are still good to its graduates.How about Goethe-Univ Frankfurt am Main? The German University ranked #10 in a New York Times list which was compiled by asking recruiters from 20 different nations in terms of the “employability” of their graduates.However, what do “we” seriously mean by the “Top Universities?”Many people don’t realize that it’s not just what our parents or what our friends think are the top institutions of higher learning (unless they are heads of venture capital firms or managers of human resource teams).In actuality, what REALLY matters is what do recruiters or hiring decision makers think? In other realms like venture capital, what really matters is what do the people who are funding startups believe? And if you’re pursuing additional university education, what do the graduate school admissions folks believe are the top universities in the world. It doesn’t exactly matter what you learned, but it truly matters what others believe you may have acquired at your “high quality institution of learning.”So, the above list that identifies the German University should be taken seriously despite the lack of awareness of the institution listed at #10.Obviously, you have heard of the rest of the Top 10:HarvardYaleCambridgeOxfordStanfordMITColumbiaPrincetonImperial CollegeImperial College though? As an American, I didn’t hear about the University until entering the Test Preparation industry. So, despite its top ranking in the UK, is it a school I would take seriously as a Hong Kong or Asian parent?How about Penn State?Well, the Wall Street Journal published an article in 2010 asking which schools were the best according to HR recruiters. They ranked these as the Top Universities they would choose candidates:Penn State UniversityTexas A&MUniversity of Illinois at Urbana-ChampaignPurdue UniversityArizona State UniversityUniversity of MichiganGeorgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech)University of Maryland, College ParkUniversity of FloridaCarnegie Mellon UniversityBrigham Young University (BYU)Ohio State UniversityVirginia Polytechnic Institute and State UniversityCornell UniversityUniversity of California, BerkeleyUniversity of Wisconsin, MadisonUCLATexas TechNorth Carolina State University, RaleighUniversity of Virginia (Tie for 19th)Rutgers UniversityUniversity of Notre DameMassachussetts Institute of Technology (MIT)University of Southern California (USC)Washington State University (Wazzu)University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill (Tie for 25th)What REALLY matters as a parent?Another reason why it’s important for me to share this knowledge is because I am also a parent of two future college graduates. My twin boys are 14 years old and I want to give them the opportunities I didn’t have. For 20+ years, I’ve been questioned about my University degree. Despite graduating in the top 10% of my class, receiving multiple accolades and being a nationally ranked debater as a high school candidate (along with obtaining admissions into the #1 University in my area: University of Washington), I decided to attend the University of Puget Sound. The university was in the Top 40 Colleges that Changes Lives. However, it didn’t “change my life” because of its reputation. It changed my life because despite the hundreds of thousands I poured into the tuition and living fees, nobody recognized the institution after they asked me “What University did you attend?” I constantly had to justify my background and prove to my peers who I was. It made me work harder than most. It may have also slowed down my career growth along with limiting my opportunities due to the brand value.And while I want my children to work harder, I don’t want them to be questioned. As a result, I constantly look for the “better institutions” that will help them “open more doors” as I have for many of my past students who have gone onto Stanford, Yale,Seoul National University, Yonsei and many other top universities.So, what are the Universities that will open the doors? I would argue the number one factor is:#1 – Brand Awareness in ANY CountryAs stated earlier, it is critical for a company human resources recruiter or manager to recognize your university. Additionally, you should have “instant respect” from all the other decision makers in the companies or the folks who might be supporting your kids with future companies. Resumes are passed around inside companies when applicants are being screened. The talk many times will be”XYZ graduated from Stanford. We should look at her.” When someone asks “Where did you graduate from?” your answer should instantly garner attention.If your child was to work in North Carolina after college and then want to go and work in possibly Sweden for a few years, what University should she choose? What if she thought coming back to Hong Kong was ideal or maybe even making a pitstop in Australia for a few years? What would be the best education choice for her?Times Education has their “World Reputation Rankings 2015” which defines:The Times Higher Education World Reputation Rankings 2015 employ the world’s largest invitation-only academic opinion survey to provide the definitive list of the top 100 most powerful global university brands.The list shows Harvard as #1 (and definitely not surprising):The other 4 on the list are obviously not pushovers for Universities, but again, the Top 4 outrank the University that is the hardest to get in (as far as the USA is concerned) and the one that significantly helped in producing what we all use to even find information about University rankings.For further support in terms of brands HR Managers or CEO’s recognize, using “big data,” The Global Language Monitor tries to:“…understan[d] that new technologies and techniques [are] necessary for truly understanding the world of Big Data, as it is now known.”The company has evaluated the top brands in education and have come up with “brand power” lists of the top institutions of higher learning. In a recent report, they quoted the book: “2016 TrendTopper MediaBuzz of the Top 419 College Brands, 10th Edition.” It claimed that public college brands are now dominating the upper echelon. While MIT still claimed the #1 spot, the following public universities landed in the Top 10:University of California, Los Angeles – UCLA (#2)UC Berkeley (#3)UC Davis (#4)UC San Diego (#5)University of Texas, Austin (#7)University of Washington (#9)In its own report, it evaluated “Big Data textual analysis based on billions of webpages, millions of blogs, the top 375,000 global print and electronic media, and new social media formats as they appear.” With this comprehensive gauge, it determined that the top 100 brands were:2014 Rank, University, Rank in 2013Massachusetts Institute of Technology 1Harvard University 2University of California, Berkeley 5University of Chicago 7University of Texas, Austin 8University of California at Los Angeles 14University of California, Davis 18Stanford University 4New York University 15Northwestern University 34University of Pennsylvania 11University of California, San Diego 19University of Washington 13Columbia University 3University of Wisconsin, Madison 16University of Michigan, Ann Arbor 25Princeton University 10Dartmouth College 73University of Virginia 32University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill 23Yale University 6University of Minnesota 20Cornell University 9Michigan State University 31Washington University in St. Louis 47Georgia Institute of Technology 21University of Southern California 30Ohio State University, Columbus 12University of Illinois — Urbana, Champaign 26Johns Hopkins University 22Purdue University 28Indiana University, Bloomington 44University of Colorado, Boulder 43George Washington University 38Texas A&M University 40University of California, Santa Barbara 56University of California, Irvine 49Arizona State University 101Boston College 25Boston University 33Georgetown University 35Pennsylvania State University 39University of Georgia 29University of Iowa 36University of Pittsburgh 37University of Miami 45Iowa State University 64Florida State University 46University of Oregon 50Wake Forest University 94University of Missouri, Columbia 58University of Massachusetts, Amherst 66University of Notre Dame 42Rutgers, the State University of NJ 41Carnegie Mellon University 51University of South Carolina, Columbia 55Loyola University Maryland 79American University 70Oregon State University 60California Institute of Technology 53Duke University 24George Mason University 59Rochester Inst. of Technology 98Californis State U, Long Beach 141Virginia Tech 17Brown University 48University of Florida 72Loyola University, Chicago 80Vanderbilt University 57University of Connecticut 179Syracuse University 52Missouri U. of Science and Technology 72University of California, Riverside 69University of Maryland, College Park 63University of Oklahoma 93Brigham Young University, Provo 106University of Arizona 67Central Michigan University 54Washington State University 143Northeastern University 81CUNY-Brooklyn 121Villanova University 89Colorado State University 132University of California, Santa Cruz 68University of Delaware 74University of Rochester 62Howard University 84St. Joseph’s University 133Case Western Reserve University 76University of Tennessee 77Miami University, OH 89Southern Methodist University 87Emory University 71Stony Brook University 88Cal Poly—San Luis Obispo 139University of Alabama 116University of New Hampshire 95University of Phoenix 27University of Kentucky 75Binghamton– SUNY 130Unfortunately, lower branded universities are just not recognized. I saw an advertisement while writing article about the University of Sydney. They displayed a banner with the following:However, why would you want to brag you are 56th? It’s like saying I finished behind 55 others.So…What if my child was not destined to be one of the chosen 5% of Stanford or the other small percentage selected at the other top 4 institutions? Well, as an American and someone who’s focused on these rankings throughout all my career, the following will be a list of Universities that are “recognized” significantly throughout the world.Here are a golden 40 on top of the Prestigious 5 presented earlier (Harvard, Oxford, Cambridge, MIT & Stanford).Golden 40 Top Ranked University BrandsThese should be strong enough universities to carry your child throughout life. Their brand power is above many of the ones listed already. The list is not in any specific order per se. However, there are some that might be considered a bit better in terms of brands:University of California, BerkeleyCalifornia Institute of Technology (i.e., Cal Tech)University of ChicagoDuke UniversityUniversity of Texas, AustinUniversity of California at Los AngelesNew York University (i.e., NYU)Northwestern UniversityUniversity of Pennsylvania (i.e., UPenn)University of California, San DiegoUniversity of Washington (i.e., UW)Columbia UniversityUniversity of Wisconsin, MadisonUniversity of Michigan, Ann ArborPrinceton UniversityDartmouth CollegeUniversity of VirginiaUniversity of North Carolina, Chapel HillYale UniversityCornell UniversityWashington University in St. LouisGeorgia Institute of Technology (i.e., Georgia Tech)University of Southern CaliforniaUniversity of Illinois — Urbana, ChampaignJohns Hopkins UniversityPurdue UniversityUniversity of Colorado, BoulderBoston CollegeBoston UniversityGeorgetown UniversityWake Forest UniversityUniversity of Missouri, ColumbiaUniversity of Notre DameCarnegie Mellon UniversityRochester Inst. of TechnologyVirginia TechBrown UniversityVanderbilt UniversityUniversity of Maryland, College ParkEmory UniversityUniversity Brand’s Impact – Case in Point, the University of WashingtonFor example, in many rankings lists, the University of Washington is not as visible as top ones like Harvard or even Northwestern. However, everywhere I’ve worked from Seoul to Shanghai to here in Hong Kong, the northwest school is recognized as a reputable alma mater. While the admissions rates there are higher than most of the Top 10 or even 20, it deserves its #13 ranking in the Global Language Monitor surveys.Why?Think about it. The first ever president of the United States was George WASHINGTON. The capital of the United States is WASHINGTON, D.C. Also, the University that is commonly confused with the University of Washington (Washington University in St. Louis) is actually quite strong. And since it’s confused with it, the UW gets credit for the latter’s success academically. Also, the Seattle based institution of higher education has received tons of money from its symbolic prodigal “son” Bill Gates. As of January of 2007 (8 years ago) the University received 242 million (USD) in donations and was collecting close to $1 million a day in donations. Also, as a very entreprenuerial city (home of Microsoft, Starbucks, Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs & more, Nordstroms, Brooks Sports, Costco, MSNBC, Nintendo, PACCAR, R.E.I., Raleigh, Expedia, Brown-Haley [makers of Almond Roca], Callison, Holland America, Alaska Airlines, Safeco, PEMCO, Getty Images, Jones Soda, Cray Supercomputers, T-Mobile, Weyerhaeuser, Zillow: Real Estate, Apartments, Mortgages & Home Values, ZymoGenetics), the city also produces many other future business leaders at a rapid pace. While quiet at times, it produces some of the most savvy brilliant minds including Gates (as mentioned) or Rich Barton. To top it all off, it also has one of the best Medical schools in the entire country.The other universities in the above list provide very similar value in their regions and throughout the world. In future posts, we’ll explain.#2 – Alumni NetworkWhy did Bill Gates become the richest person in the entire world (and stay there for many of the past 20+ years)? Well, it wasn’t because he was antagonistic like Steve Jobs. Many people attribute jobs as being one of the most brilliant people in recent memory in terms of the technology space, but I would argue it’s Gates regardless of his wealth.From the Wikipedia article about Gates:He is the son of William H. Gates, Sr. and Mary Maxwell Gates. Gates’ ancestral origin includes English, German, and Irish, Scots-Irish. His father was a prominent lawyer, and his mother served on the board of directors for First Interstate BancSystem and the United Way. Gates’s maternal grandfather was JW Maxwell, a national bank president.I’ve told this story to many students in my illustrious 10 year teaching career. The main reason is because I point out that Gates was born with a “silver spoon in his mouth.” He didn’t rise from the ghettos of America. He went to Lakeside School – probably the best private school in the Seattle area. His father was the partner of a large law firm and as you can see from the Wiki article, his mom served on the Board of Directors of the United Way. At Lakeside, he met co-founder of Microsoft, Paul Allen. Allen currently is worth over $17 billion, the 38th richest person in the world. Before he dropped out of Harvard, he met Steve Ballmer who was CEO of Microsoft from 2000 to 2014. Basically, Gates networked his company into one of the most powerful companies in the world. Without being able to meet some of the brightest minds in the various education settings he had been connected to, he would most likely have found worst team members and possibly even failed.Harvard, Yale and the many others we’ve listed above have incredible alumni networks. They operate very tightly and filter one another by their own University degree. It’s not a bad filter given that many times their selectivity based on simply the university one attended does vet out very smart and talented people.As popular Harvard professor Steven Pinker wrote:First, an Ivy degree is treated as a certification of intelligence and self-discipline. Apparently adding a few Harvard students to a team raises its average intelligence and makes it more effective at solving problems. That, the employers feel, is more valuable than specific knowledge, which smart people can pick up quickly in any case.Did you know President Obama went to Harvard? How about his wife? Yes, Michelle Obama did as well. It probably didn’t hurt on the way to two terms of President of the most powerful nation on earth that many of his friends were Harvard grads and so were his wife’s.With this said, I would argue the following Top Liberal Arts Colleges also deserve mention:As we wrote before, the “Little Three Ivies:” Williams, Amherst, & Wesleyan.SwarthmoreBowdoinMiddleburyPomonaWellesleyCarletonDavidsonHaverfordVassarHamiltonHarvey MuddSmithWashington and LeeColbyColgateGrinnellBryn MawrColoradoWhitman