Silent & Live Auction Donor Agreement Form* Yes! I Would Love To: Fill & Download for Free

You lose.The silent treatment is powerful and nasty, and if you try to get the silent person to stop, you’re playing the game. Unless you have some instruments of torture handy, there’s nothing you can do except let go of it. Only that takes the power away. Only that.

The silent treatment serves a few purposes, and it's the easiest tool in the arsenal, yet very effective.The first reason is that the narcissist's attention is elsewhere. If you are getting the silent treatment, at a minimum you are in the devaluation stage, which means someone else is likely in the love bombing stage. While you are pining away, the narcissist hasn't given you a second thought. You are literally out of sight, out of mind and not nearly as important as the new love interest.Another reason for the silent treatment is to chip away at your self-confidence and self-esteem. You are being ignored to show that you do not matter. They will get back to you when they are good and ready to; or maybe they won't. It depends on how the wind blows.The silent treatment is also given as a form of punishment for something you said or did; likely without you even knowing you did it. Maybe you said how smart your friend is; what's that supposed to mean, that the narcissist isn't smart? It's that easy to offend.They also use the silent treatment as a test. How you respond to it shows where your emotions are. If this is your first go around with the silent treatment, you may start begging to find out what happened; what you did wrong; why they aren't responding to you. They are slowly breaking you down and loving every minute of it.You become a crazy person and all they had to do was be silent.

You are given a golden opportunity. And if you don't catch this one, don't worry, another is right around the corner. Getting the silent treatment from a narcissist is your escape hatch.I once got the silent treatment while in a car on a 7 hour road trip. It stemmed from what the narc thought I meant by an innocent comment I made 15 minutes in. I had lots of time to consider what was happening and what I felt about it. My response on getting out of the car was to say, “Guess we really don't have much to share here. Goodbye.” Sadly, he reeled me back a couple of times before I was well and truly convinced, and finished.While on a cruise with a covert narcissist the silent treatment spanned the first three days. Turns out he was angry about how much time it took to set the plans up-a job for which he volunteered. I used most of that time and the remaining cruise days to explore the ship, meet interesting people and entertain myself. He soon entertained himself by trying to find me, and pull me away from whatever enjoyment without him I was having. That was a frustrating lesson but I saw it as an opportunity to wedge us apart.Now I see a silent treatment as the moment not to get them back, but to run right through that big red flag and get away.