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Note: This answer (to another question) was collapsed by the Quora moderation on account of plagiarism. I was alleged of plagiarism despite having mentioned and linked all the sources and block quoting them. The worst part is that collapsed answers due to “plagiarism” can’t be uncollapsed by Quora. I contacted Quora support but I am yet to get a reply. Meanwhile, I have added some more points to the original answer.Before you start reading this, you need to have two things - time (6000+ words) and tolerance.(A) EVERYONE IS SELFISHThe word “selfish” is derived from “self”. Generally, the word selfish is perceived as a derogatory term, meaning lack of consideration for others. I beg to differ. I think selfish means putting your self-interests above others’. Putting your self-interests above others’ does not necessarily mean that you have a complete lack of consideration for others. And I will explain why isn’t a bad thing to be selfish.Everyone is selfish. Most of us won’t admit that we are selfish. Almost all of us see it as a bad trait in one’s personality. Believe it or not, even the world’s greatest philanthropists are selfish too. They may have donated billions to charity, but by keeping their self-interests above others’. You may be wondering, what can be person’s self-interest who donates most of his money to charity! Happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment. He wouldn’t have donated a single penny, had his action didn’t award him with happiness and content. Does being selfish make him a bad person? No. Does his being selfish meant lack of consideration for others? No. Unfortunately, our society likes to measure self-interests in terms of money and materials, while neglecting feelings like happiness, love, and content, which are actually the core ingredients of a successful life.The above example also disrupts the common notion that someone needs to lose if you want to gain. Being selfish can be a win-win situation for everyone. You get pleasure by helping an old lady with her groceries, by teaching a poor child for free, by randomly smiling at a stranger. In all these situations, you are keeping your self-interests.I have a theory about selfishness, which I call “The cake theory”. There is only one slice of cake, which can’t be split. And there are two people- my mother and me. She wants me to have the slice, and I want her to take it. Naturally, she derives more happiness if I have the cake, and unnaturally, in this case, I derive more happiness if she eats the cake. Finally, she eats the cake. You know who is more selfish? It’s me. You know who sacrificed? My mother. She has the cake, but she would have been happier, had I took that slice. The society, generally, would call my mother more selfish than me. This is another clear example that the society values materials more than happiness.Selfish isn’t a good word either. People kill and cheat others over their self-interests. Other than the commonly perceived meaning of the word, the word itself carry a little significance. Every action that man takes is governed by his self-interests. This makes every person a selfish person.(B) IT IS MORE RACIST TO CALL BLACK PEOPLE “PEOPLE OF COLOUR” THAN CALLING THEM BLACKIf you are refraining from using the term “black” and are searching for alternatives, you are silently asserting that something is wrong with the term “black”. If white people can be called “white”, I don’t see any reason to hide “black” behind a veil, if you truly believe in equality.(C) I DON’T THINK OF ANY REASON TO MOURN OVER RANDOM DEATHS, VIOLENCE AND ASSAULTWhy do people get sad when they hear about the death of their school classmate whom they never talked to? 151,600 people die every day and there is no reason why the death of my old neighbour should bother or surprise me (I dislike him anyway).I don’t understand why news about rape, assault and murder of a random person makes people sad. Just because you don’t get to know similar crimes happening all the time, it doesn’t mean the news you are reading/watching is special in any form. Most people move on with their usual life anyway, after pretending to have felt bad about the victim for 10 minutes.I get it when the number of victims is large, the incident is abnormal or the victim is someone close. I get it when it moves you so much that you take actions (sharing on social media doesn’t count) to stop similar incidents or help the victims. But if you just care, then your care and my indifference- both have practically equal effect in the real world.(D) EVERYONE IS PREJUDICED, RACIST, AGEIST, AND SEXISTHe is such an accomplished scientist for an African.For a white, you are an excellent athlete.Are you from middle-east? You must be very conservative.Look at her dress. She is asking for it.You are a lot younger than me. What do you know about life!He is a Buddhist. He must be peace-loving.Drugs? Mexican? Colombian?See the tattoos and piercings? He must be a junkie.Long before I have time to think about a person, long before I dip in rationality, I am always ready with a preconceived notion about that person. This is an automated response from my brain. I don’t feel ashamed about it. These thoughts don’t represent me. They represent the culture I have been raised in. They represent the conditioning by the society I have lived in, books I have read, movies and television I have watched, and the internet I have been exposed to.Everyone is a bit racist, ageist, and sexist. Prejudice is actually necessary for humans. Our brain works as a feedback mechanism. It accumulates our prior experiences and uses them to make fast and efficient decisions in our daily life. Prejudice is the product of this feedback mechanism.We may all be racist and sexist and ageist at heart, but this is not our doing—we have merely internalized what we have been hearing and reading and seeing our whole life, that is, we are thirsty sponges, and we pick up the patterns that culture happily spoonfeeds us, and we haplessly store it all in our thirsty memory banks, gladly retrieving the connection and filling in the blanks.One conclusion from this study is clear. For most of us, the racist/sexist/ageist inside us may not be a monster of our own making; s/he is not a reflection of who we are, but a reflection of where we've been. Being faster to associate ‘black' with ‘violence' doesn't imply that you are a hardcore racist, it sadly just means you're American.Source: Prime and Prejudice: Why We Are All a Little Bit Racist"One of the things these findings suggest is that for those of us who, like me, very often feel guilty about these gut reactions you have and you're not supposed to have is those gut reactions are normal and they have very little to do with you. They have more to do with the culture around you," said Verhaeghen. "What is more important is your behavior, rather than your gut reaction."Source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/rel...The only way by which we can overcome the effects of prejudice is by acknowledging it. Let that gut-feeling come, and let that gut-feeling pass, and let your rationality take you from there.(E) THERE IS NOTHING WRONG AND THERE IS NOTHING RIGHTMorality is a human invention and is applicable only to humans. It is a guided set of rules aimed at making humans more civilised. Just because humans have objectively classified things into right and wrong doesn’t necessarily mean that these classifications actually exist in nature.These guidelines, and thus the perception of right and wrong keep on changing with time as the opinions of the majority of humans change. There is a statement delivered by Brad Pitt in the movie, 12 Monkeys, "There's no right, there's no wrong, there's only popular opinion." Once there was a popular opinion was that Earth was flat and that notion was considered "right". Then, there were times when the sun revolving the Earth was a common opinion, and the ones opposing that, were considered crazy. While cannibalism, public torture, and blood fights were widely accepted in many societies in the past, these are now considered heinous acts. Until recently, or even today, homosexuality and atheism were/are considered wrong. Today, marijuana and prostitution are illegal(in most parts of the world). Who knows, tomorrow the "popular opinion" changes and what is considered wrong today would be considered right tomorrow.Humans are subjected to cultural conditioning. Children often throw their food, scream, and blatantly talk to others before they are conditioned to the “right” and “wrong”. After the stage when children start to develop the ability to process conditioning, throughout their lives, morality is continuously shoved into them through parents, teachers, society, religion, and education. This conditioning, in one way, is essential to keep humans within the bounds. But this means that morality is something which is taught to humans since childhood, and not something which is inherently present in them.Morality is to humans what geographical coordinate system is to world geography.Now, maybe you are thinking that murder, rape, and violence are outright “wrong”. I would ask you to have a good look at nature. Animals often kill each other over territory or for mates. We don’t call it wrong, we call it the “survival of the fittest”. There have been instances of rape among animals, many times when it doesn’t even seem to be one, and yet it seems perfectly natural. Animals often don’t allow members of different clans in their group. This is what we call “racial discrimination” today. Nature often strikes with earthquakes, floods, and hurricanes, which we would call “violence”. If murder, rape, racism, violence are “wrong”, shouldn’t that “wrong” be applicable to all the species and nature as well. If humans didn’t exist, would morality hold any significance at all? As humans grew intelligent, they invented morality to keep themselves civilised, and as humans grew arrogant, they started believing that morality is a universal thing.For further reads:Morality is a Culturally Conditioned ResponseKant: Morality(F) KARMA DOESN’T WORKKarma goes wrong on so many levels.Karma refers to the the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.Source: karma - definition of karma in English | Oxford DictionariesThe core idea of Karma is based on the idea of reincarnation and the human soul. To have a fair evaluation of an idea and to reach a conclusion, we can only use information that we already know, rather than an unproven hypothesis. There is no firm base of reason and logic by which we can say that reincarnation and soul work. If we base our reason on the things that may work, there are infinite number of other possibilities that may also work. So we can dismiss a part of the core idea of Karma that that is cause-effect relationship that transcends from one life to another.Karma also fails miserably if we dismiss the reincarnation part and limit it to this life. Often people who believe in Karma support it by citing isolated examples of how something “bad” happened to a “bad” person, and something “good” happened to a “good” person. If you really think that this is how it works, you should have a closer look at your world.Source: Nick Ut / The Associated PressHow does Karma know what is right and what is wrong; what is good and what is evil? If morality itself is a human construct, so is Karma.You can believe in whatever you like, but don’t pretend that it is anywhere close to truth.(G) A CRIME LOSES ITS INTENSITY AFTER YOU KNOW THE REASON BEHIND ITLet’s take an example.Sarah killed the 70-year old owner of a small departmental store while he resisted robbery.You hate her, don’t you?Now read the full story: Sarah was abandoned by her alcoholic husband a year ago while she was 8-month pregnant. She worked harder as a waitress as she not only had to carry herself but also her baby, post delivery. Working overtime, she was slowly getting a hold on her life. But three months back, the restaurant caught fire and had to be shut down. Sarah lost her job. She started hunting for a new job. Meanwhile, her rent was overdue but she had already spent her savings on her child’s vaccines. She borrowed some money from her friend to pay the rent. After three months of losing her job, Sarah was penniless, without a job, with a debt and with the homeowner pestering her to pay the rent. Finally, she had exhausted her mental and physical strength when she decided to rob that departmental store. When she entered the store, she thought that the old man would be an easy target and a kitchen knife would suffice. Little did she know that he had a gun in his drawer. When the old man realised he was being robbed, he took out the gun to point at her. Sarah instantly knew he was reaching for the gun, and in the heat of the moment, slammed the vase kept on the table on the old man’s head.Do you still hate Sarah?Okay, you may be thinking this story was specially crafted to prove my point. Let’s take another example- an extreme one.Jimmy raped a girl.You must hate Jimmy.Now let’s try to understand the root cause of the incident. Imagine there’s an island with 100 males and 1 female. Now the best possible scenario to take the race forward would be to produce as many babies one by one. If the female desires to mate with more males at a time, that would be disastrous for the baby and for the race.Now imagine an island with 100 females and 1 male. The best possible way that the race is carried further is when 1 male mates with as many females as he can.This explains why males are more sexually active and aggressive than females. This also explains why there are more rapes against females than against males.It has also been observed that rapes are common in some species of animals with males being the perpetrators in almost every case. So in a way, rape is a natural phenomenon.But this doesn’t justify Jimmy to rape that girl, does it? After all, there are such a large number of “civilised” men. So what caused him to do that apart from natural reasons?A big reason for his act goes to his upbringing. Jimmy grew up in a society where it was considered normal to consider women inferior to men. He saw his father thrashing his mom, his brother passing lewd comments to girls on the streets, and his mom bitching and judging other women. The environment he was brought up in, saw women as objects made to satisfy the needs of men.This reflected in his act. Still, there are many men who grow up in similar environments and don’t go around raping and abusing women. What exactly made Jimmy rape that girl?Jimmy’s nature met nurture, and when those mixed up with his inability to control himself, he ended up committing a crime. But he couldn’t have done anything about it. He couldn’t control himself even when he was a kid. It was a kind of disease which was inherently present in him. He was helpless- like a maniac, like a person with cancer tumour who didn’t invite the tumour to his body. He didn’t realise when the tumour got developed and started engulfing him.You still hate Jimmy, but somehow, when you know the root causes of a crime, you start to hate the causes and the circumstances more than the person himself. You don’t see the individual as an isolated, independent entity, where you can lump all your blame and angst upon. The causes seem to go deeper than the person and even transcends him. And your hatred gets dissolved in a sea of linked causes.(H) I DON’T THINK THESE SHOULD BE ILLEGALDrug use and possession: What a sound-minded adult does with himself/herself shouldn’t be the state’s business. You can counsel them, send them to rehab, stop them from distributing drugs but shouldn’t put them in jail, especially when your jails aren’t competent enough to keep them away from drugs.Suicide: Again, what a sound-minded adult does with himself/herself shouldn’t be the state’s business. If only you tried to find the reason behind suicides and counsel the survivors instead of making it illegal[1], you would have done a better job lowering the overall suicide rates.Prostitution: What two sound-minded consenting adults do behind their doors shouldn’t be the state’s business. You can, however, make sure that no one is pushed into prostitution against one’s will.Homosexuality and same-sex marriage: Again, what two sound-minded consenting adults do behind their doors shouldn’t be the state’s business.Incest: However repulsive it may seem to you and me, what two sound-minded consenting adults do behind their doors shouldn’t be our business. They shouldn’t definitely be sent to jail.Polygamy: When all the partners are in agreement, it’s none of our business what two or more sound-minded consenting adults do behind their doors.Consumption and possession of any substance prohibited based on religious lines (alcohol, beef, pork): Keep your dogma to yourself. Don’t force it on others.Books, films, cartoons, paintings (as long as they don’t violate someone’s privacy): If you don’t like something, don’t indulge in it. Let people’s conscience guide them to what’s truth and what’s not, what’s acceptable and what’s not.Whistleblowing on the government: It’s illegal to expose the misdeeds of your government. Just label the evidence as “confidential” and when someone brings them to the public, they are charged for “releasing the nation’s confidential information to public”. How does that make you different from a dictator?[1] Suicide legislation - Wikipedia(I) I THINK “THE HARE AND THE TORTOISE” IS A BULLSHIT STORYSure, the tortoise won the race. But the hare enjoyed a nice nap. How important is it in life to live in the moment; to live for oneself than to run in a race chasing materialistic trophies.The story is a failure even if you see the win as something more meaningful, like success or contentment. Life is not a one-on-one race. Imagine a lot of tortoises racing against a lot of hares. Now, the probability of all the hares falling asleep during the race is so slim that it is almost impossible for a tortoise to win the race.By teaching the tortoise to race with a hare, you are suggesting the tortoise to rely on luck- a slim probability that the hare will fall asleep during the race. Even if the tortoise is “slow and steady” and show full determination and perseverance, would it be enough to beat the hare in normal circumstances?Why not suggest the tortoise to participate in a different competition where its strength lies- like crack-my-back competition or walk-and-swim competition? If the tortoise has to run that race, better ask it to get a nice jet-pack first.Picture Source: [1]“The hare and the tortoise” is a bullshit story which demotivates kids to find and pursue their strengths and excel in them irrespective of the expectations of the society while teaching them that only perseverance and determination can win them the races of their lives.Either don’t let them take life as a competition or if you let them, make sure they have fair chances of winning it.(J) WE NEED RELIGION (UNPOPULAR OPINION ON QUORA)A few days ago, I was talking to a kid. During our conversation, he told me that he would never steal from anyone because God is seeing him.Hindus don’t consume beef and Muslims don’t consume bacon. There are countless examples where people act or don’t act in a certain way not because they think it is immoral or unethical, but primarily because their religion says so.Although we have seen a large number of critics of religion lately, we definitely need religion.Religion is a set of beliefs, ideas, and rules followed by a sufficiently large group of people. Animals don’t have any religion. Primitive humans didn’t have any religion. It’s only after humans started civilising that the societal rules began taking shape and religions evolved. Religion became necessary to keep humans civilised.We need religion because the majority of the human population is intellectually incapable of thinking for themselves and develop their moral and ethical boundaries. In several cultures, an imaginary creature who was omnipresent and omnipotent was introduced to induce fear in people. A creature who is watching you every second, taking a log of your sins, and deciding which place to send you after you die. Apparently, people would not kill other people not because it is wrong, but because they fear that they would be sent to hell or just because their religion says so.Religion is also a great tool to socialising and preserving your tradition and culture.Almost every religion teaches numerous good things - like you shouldn’t harm anyone (generally, speaking), you shouldn’t steal, you should treat each other with kindness, etc. But religion has its own set of problems. The problems arise when people start taking it too seriously. They start taking their ancient texts literally rather than metaphorically, and give meanings which weren’t intended. The second major problem with religion is that it can’t be revised and updated. The rules of all the religions were written for a different demographic and at a different time frame. With the changing times, the boundaries of morality and ethics change. Science and technology advances, society transforms, and people’s lifestyle changes. So clinging on to the centuries old moral, societal, and cultural norms cause a great imbalance. You can criticise religion but you can’t deny its worthiness.(K) MONOPOLIES CAN BE GOODMonopolies are bad only when they have unethical business models or biased support of the government, or both.Monopolies are widely looked down upon in our society.The term monopoly, however, has taken on bad connotations to the point where goodness is rarely, if ever, associated with it. The one-sided evil ascribed to monopoly is so pronounced in most people’s thinking that one is tempted to coin a new term to convey the idea of monopoly in its good sense.Source: Good and Bad Monopoly | Leonard E. ReadHowever, monopolies are not as bad as they appear on the outside. Here’s what people say about monopolies which are not completely true.Monopolies are bad because the monopolists have no incentive to innovate or invest in R&D of new technologies.I believe, monopolies actually foster innovation and new technologies. When companies are not involved in a cut-throat competition, they have one less thing to worry about. Companies in very competitive markets fight so hard for survival and making profits, that they can hardly allot time and resources for innovation in their product and technology, and for research and development. Take Google for example. Do you think Google could have invested in newer technologies (self-driving cars, wearable computers, mobile phones) if it faced fierce competition from Yahoo and Bing?Monopolies strangle budding companies and stop competition.A company becomes a monopoly by merit by offering a service or product which is so good that it is way above its substitutes. In a free-exposure market, a new company entering the market with the same business model has no other option than to compete against the years of experience, expertise, and trust.“It’s easier to copy a model than to make something new: doing what we already know how to do takes the world from 1 to n, adding more of something familiar. But every time we create something new, we go from 0 to 1. Tomorrow’s champions will not win by competing ruthlessly in today’s marketplace; they will escape competition altogether, because their businesses will be unique.”- Peter TheilThis again explains how monopolies help in innovation in the long run. If you are merely copying the giants to become a giant, you will go nowhere. You have to create something new to dominate the market. There’s no reason to think that new innovations can’t stand against monopolies. AT&T dominated the US telecom market throughout the 20th century. This is how the near-present scenario looks like:With the technology and market changing so fast, the biggest mistake monopolies can do is not to adapt themselves and invest in innovation. Remember the times when Internet Explorer was the only reliable web browser you knew? Well, what are you using now! It would be too limiting to think that you can’t compete and overturn the monopolies.Monopolies can control prices and qualityIt may make sense theoretically that a dominating company, being the sole supplier of a product or a service can control the prices and quality. While it may be true to some extent, it does not paint the whole picture. History has shown that monopolies can be overturned and no company in the present scenario would take things to an extent so as to jeopardize its dominance. With the advent of the internet and diversification of other monopolies, other companies are lined up to grab any opportunity resulting from even a minor goof.(L) INDIA NEEDS RESERVATION (AFFIRMATIVE ACTION).First, let us dive into history why there was a need for reservation in the first place. The caste system in India dates back to the pre-Vedic era, when the society was classified among certain classes - Brahmins (the priests and teachers), Kshatriya (the ruling and military elites), Vaishyas (the farmers and cattle-bearers who eventually became landowners, traders, and money-lenders), and Shudras (who served the three classes). The Dalits were at the bottom of the social pyramid, who were considered “untouchables”. They were not even included in the caste system. Over 3000 years of discrimination and oppression by the higher classes on those at the bottom of the pyramid broke the back of societal structure of India. Along with the independence struggle came the widespread protests against caste-based discrimination and the need for social reforms. After the independence, when the constitution was constituted, reservation in government jobs and in admission in government schools was formalized for Scheduled Tribes, Scheduled Castes (the “untouchables”), Other backward Classes (economically backward Shudra castes). This was the only way to alleviate the social stature of the misrepresented sections of the society.Is cased-based discrimination still prevalent?Now, much of urban upper-class Indian youth think that caste-based discrimination is not much prevalent in modern India. Unfortunately, statistics tell a different story.Source: Study shows NCR homeowners turn away Dalits and MuslimsSource: Just 5% of Indian marriages are inter-caste: surveyI have personally been asked my caste multiple times while searching for a rental property. And note that this is my experience in a metropolitan city while interacting with educated people. Needless to say, the situation is much, much worse in rural areas. In most of the rural areas, the Dalits still live in a separate area, they are still not allowed to enter temples, and they still remain untouchable.Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes are still stuck in poverty much deeper than other classes.Source:http://tribal.nic.in/WriteReadDa...These so-called backward classes are heavily misrepresented in private schools and coaching centers, and in higher job posts.Source: ::Welcome to School Report CardsDespite constituting of around 70% of the total population, number of students belonging to ST, SC, and OBC constitutes no less than 5% of the total students enrolled in DPS. While I think that this data is a bit skewed since most students don’t declare their caste in schools, the reality in still not good.Source: Higher Education is Still a Bar Too High for Muslims, DalitsIs reservation fair?Almost every upper class Indian youth might have complained, at some point, about someone getting half his marks, and still making into an institution while s/he can’t. Is it fair for you? Definitely, not. You may be wondering why should you be facing the consequences of the sins your forefathers committed. This is not a fair system, but still, this can be the fairest a system can be. Imagine a student belonging to the lower social strata. Not your rich SC/ST classmate. The ones who are still living in rural areas, the ones who still can’t afford quality education, the ones who still have to face discrimination on a daily basis. Since your forefathers were privileged, your grandfather, and your father had opportunities. On the other hand, the other kid’s grandfather was still forced to work in his low-key occupation, resulting in lesser opportunities for his father, and then him. If you are getting lesser opportunities due to your financial status, remember that it is your forefathers who might have went wrong somewhere. No one forced you to your present economic conditions. The other kid has lesser opportunities not because of economic reasons, but due to social reasons. And if you and that kid are given equal opportunities, that would be an injustice.So even if you think that the system is not fair for you, it would have been more unfair otherwise.Furthermore, this system not just limited to India. Most of the Indians live with the flawed notion that these privileges are limited to India. The system is called Affirmative actionin US and Canada, positive discrimination in the UK, and reservations in India.US and Canada have been giving special privileges to the Blacks and Hispanics for decades.In South Africa, blacks are privileged despite being the majority.In Australia and New Zealand, Aborigines and Maori are privileged.There have been reservations in parliaments of many countries.Source:The Politics of Group Representation - Quotas for Women and Minorities Worldwide, Mona Lena Krook and Diana Z. O’BrienProspective modifications in current reservation structure in IndiaWhile I believe that India definitely needs reservations, the reservation structure in India is marred by political motivations. There are certain things that should be changed to make this system more effective:While this policy was being included in the constitution, it was proposed that with time, as certain communities move out of backwardness, they should be excluded from privileges. On the contrary, every political party, to increase its vote bank, has kept on adding new groups to the SC, ST, and OBC. This system should be changed, but I don’t think anyone can do anything about this.Just providing reservations is not sufficient. There is a large number of SC/ST students who drop out of the schools or who don’t receive a quality education. If more effort is made by the government in elementary education, there would be a lesser gap in the performance of a reserved category student and an open category student in competitive exams.Families who have already been enjoying reservations since 2–3 generations and/or who are wealthy enough to provide quality education to their children should be exempted from reservation. Creamy and non-creamy layer restrictions have been applied for OBSs, but that needs to be extended to STs and SCs as well.Many people argue about income-basis reservations. The social discrimination and oppression in the past and now is not income-based, it’s caste based. So, it would make little sense to replace caste based reservation with income based reservation. However, I do believe that there should an income based reservation ALONG with caste-based reservation. I don’t know how successful that would be, as it is quite easy in India to manipulate income certificates. And also for political reasons, it seems too far.For me, the ideal system would be to analyze each candidate’s profile and evaluate the difficulties faced by the candidates, similar to the admission application process in top global universities. But, I guess it would be impractical for a country like India.The internet is rife with ignorant Indian youth who are adamant on shaming the reserved category through memes, jokes, terribly analogous stories like Ant and the Grasshopper story. First, it is not their mistake that they were born into a particular family and are provided privileges. Anyone would readily accept any privilege being provided. Second, these ignorant people don’t bother to know the cause of present existing system. It may sound astonishing, but many upper class parents still teach their children to remain away from “lower caste” people. Many of them still dwell in the belief that they are somehow superior to others just because the were randomly born in a particular family but refute the idea of reservation. What a hypocrisy! This is not going to help either of the classes.In a society with different sections, it is the responsibility of the strong to pull the weaker ones up, because the weak are too weak to pull themselves up. Unless the weak become strong, they will and should continue getting privileges. Because the weak were made weak by the strong in the past. Unfortunately, if the strong continue to distance itself from the weak, it would be no good either for the weak or the strong.Fortunately, albeit with a slow pace, India is changing. India needs more people like Bindeshwar Pathak who went against the society after seeing the plight of manual scavengers to establish Sulabh International. I hope that one day, there would be no reservation system because there would be no NEED for a reservation system.Conclusion: India needs caste-based reservation, but the present reservation system needs some solid modifications to make sure the right people are benefited from it.(M) I AM NOT PROUD OF MY NATION.pride: A feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of one's close associates, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.Source: pride - definition of pride in English | Oxford DictionariesThere are two reasons one should be proud of her/his country:Your personal achievement: If you have contributed something significant for your country- for example, a soldier.Your country’s achievement: When you derive pleasure from an achievement of your country- for example, your country topping the Olympics medal tally.For the first case, I don’t think I have contributed anything significant for my country. I am not entitled to pride.The second case is more personal and may vary from person to person. I was escalated when my country won an Olympic medal. I support my national team in sports. I derived great pleasure from ISRO’s Mars mission. Since I derived pleasure from these incidents, by definition, I was proud of my country during those events. I am proud of my country during certain events. But I am not inherently proud to be an Indian. I am not proud of being born in this country, as my birth has been just a matter of chance. There is same probability of being born in India as there is for being born in Somalia.The idea to feel proud as an Indian is shoved down our throat since childhood. Take our pledge (India is my country and I am proud of its…) and other patriotic songs (Saare jahaan se achha, Hindustan hamaara). What is intended to induce the nationalist feeling in people ends up inducing jingoism in certain cases.Pride is an emotion, and emotions are not based on logic and rationality. People are driven by emotions which may make them proud of their family/region/religion/country/gender. This is perfectly fine. If everyone goes by logic without feelings or emotions, our society would break into pieces. Pride is something which creates a bonding among the people. I am driven more by logic, than emotion. I find it difficult to find pleasure in the fact that I was born in this country. As we are all entitled to find pleasure from anything, I have nothing against people who are proud of their country. I expect the same from them.P.S: I have removed some parts of the original answer because of my limitations in understanding of certain subjects as pointed out by some people.Many of you may not find some of my opinions unpopular. It’s fine. Many of you may have been offended by now and would be approaching the downvote button. Go ahead. I’m all prepared to have this answer collapsed like many of my other answers for stupid reasons like plagiarism, improper formatting and violating BNBR.

ABSOLUTELY RESOUNDING YES.UK now offers a wonderful ,preferential access to corrupt of the world to buy their way into this country and hide their stolen wealth thanks to the ‘confidentiality’ laws which have almost a religious faith like reverance in UK. In that respect UK is a pirate’s heaven and is like a off shore limited company with no liability and completely a-moral character. The system is primed to insulate the rich criminals.Numerous Pakistani politicians have bought UK residency visa. This used to be 500000 GBK, then changed to 1 million GBP and now it is 2 million GBP. Off course anyone who has stolen monies to pay 1 million , he can easily pay 2 million GBP…even more.The family of Nawaz Sharif is a prime example. He was the ex-PM of Pakistan.The beauty is that Nawaz Sharif had taken an oath in Pakistan that he is not a dual national or has residency permit of another country. I have written to my local MP and through them to the Home Office UK to explain on what grounds a criminal person who was physically in jail could possibly be allowed in UK and I have faced being fobbed off and given evasive answers. I had complained that British High Commission Islamabad is aiding and abetting in this preferential treatment to a foreign criminal. I have been given no reply. The fact is , thousands of normal people get their visa applications refused , 80 year parents are expected to file in 20 page long applications but this criminal family can go in and out of UK with no questions…….The world is a nasty place and there indeed is a brother hood of criminals.A letter received from my MP after my complaint:Sir Graham Brady [email protected] Reference: M753/20Dear Sir GrahamThank you for your further email correspondence of 24 February 2020 with enclosures on behalf of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, about her concerns relating to the National Crime Agency’s (NCA) involvement regarding the former Prime Minister of Pakistan, Mr Nawaz Sharif. I am sorry for the delay in responding to your correspondence.In order to safeguard an individual’s personal information and comply with the Data Protection Act 2018 we are limited in what information we can provide when the request is made by someone who is not the applicant. We are therefore unable to provide you with information about Mr Sharif’s case.Where a foreign national is seeking to enter or remain in the UK, in order to qualify they will be assessed by UK Visas & Immigration (or Border Force when presenting at the border) against a range of provisions in the current Immigration Rules relating to criminality and other adverse conduct and character prior to their entry to, and any previous time spent in, the UK. Decisions are made on a case-by-case basis, with all relevant factors considered. Failure to satisfy these criteria may mean their application for a visa, entry clearance, leave to enter or leave to remain will be refused, depending on the severity of past offences or other factors in their history. Details of these criteria can be found in Part 9 of the Immigration Rules, which can be found on the http://GOV.UKhttp://GOV.UK website at: http://www.gov.uk/guidance/immigration-rules/immigration-rules-part-9-grounds-for-refusalhttp://www.gov.uk/guidance/immigration-rules/immigration-rules-part-9-grounds-for-refusal.In respect of the NCA’s civil settlement with the Riaz family we are unable to say more publicly than has already been said. The NCA considers a wide range of factors in deciding what course of action to pursue which includes, as in the case, the option of a civil settlement. Details of the factors considered can be found at https://www.nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk/what-we-do/how-we-work/how-we-tackle-illicit-financeshttps://www.nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk/what-we-do/how-we-work/how-we-tackle-illicit-financesYours sincerelyUK Visas and Immigration | HomeFrom: XXXXXXXi. XXXXXXX <[email protected]>Sent: 24 February 2020 11:13To: Office of Graham Brady <[email protected]>Subject: Letter from your constituent XXXXXXXi. XXXXXXXXXXXXXi. XXXXXXXAltrinchamCheshireEmail: Sunday 23 February 2020Dear Graham Brady,Sir, I had written a letter to you in March ( 10th) 2019 about the exprime minister of Pakistan and a declared criminal , wanting to cometo United Kingdom and reside here.Each and everything which I had predicted in my letter last year turnedout to be true. He came to London on the pretext of 'getting medicaltreatment' and now he is refusing to return to Pakistan to finish histerm in jail.I has briefly tried to explain to you how the organised crime (similar to Sicilian mafia, South American countries) in Pakistan givesthem clean chit of health. By quirk of luck, in his case he could noteven achieve that. Despite that he manages to get a visa to travel toLondon, reside here and use British resources ( police, infrastructure,medicines, healthcare, clean water, emergency services, medicines freefrom impurities, ) inexplicably. Right now there are at least 10members of Sharif Family who are absconding from law in Pakistan andusing their stolen wealth to fund their lavish lifestyle in London.I did receive a reply from UK Foreign Office which I could not acceptas a valid justification how a criminal, with all his assets frozen, noknown sources of income, presently incarcerated, several family membershiding form Pakistani Law in London , could possibly allowed to visitUK?I know with 20 years of experience of family members visiting me thatthese are the critical and fundamental requirements for anyone comingto UK for a temporary period.Since then National Crime Agency, UK entered into an out of courtsettlement, the largest in the history of United Kingdom. The owner wasa new buyer of a London Property. The immediate previous owner was theson of the ex Prime Minister , Nawaz Sharif. I wrote to the NCA andthey have informed me that they are exempt from the prevalent laws oftransparency and Freedom of Information. They had previously sent me aresponse at a time while they were negotiating this out of settlement,leaving me with the conclusion that I was given a misleading reply.As a doctor I am contractually obliged to report under PROSPECTprogram. I am supposed to raise safeguarding concerns when needed. Myfamily, myself and the public are largely at risk when this concernof mine is not taken seriously and public is not given a straight andfactual answer. Harboring Pakistani criminals in UK leads to resentmentin people and as a result common people are faced with risk ofretaliation by disgruntled lone men.As if the entire Sharif clan residing in London is not enough, latelythe daughter ,Maryam Nawaz is using the same trick. She is presently injail in Pakistan (for assets beyond income, perjury to Supreme Court)and wishes to ' visit his father". It is unprecedented that a jailedcriminal can get a visa to come to United Kingdom never mind the otherrequirements which are mandatory for visa applicants.This family has committed heinous crimes. By stealing public funds ofenormous magnitudes over years , they have led to collapse of astruggling country. There is no government provided NHS, no schools, nosocial support in Pakistan. Even the medicines are impure for thelicenses were sold to highest bribe offerers. On magnitude, theircrimes are more heinous than holocaust, paedophilia and mass murdercombined.One of the several family members is even accused of stealing fundsfrom DFID, UK. These funds were generously donated by UK government fordisaster relief of the earthquake victims of 2005.My kids have spent their formative years in United Kingdom andPakistan. They want to know how is it that these criminals can get tolive in UK but Border Control and Immigration Control remove minimumwage, illegal visa overstayers, using the might of the law. They havespent last few years watching TV programs how people are scrutinisedand interrogated at Immigration counters when they are about to enterUK. My daughter wishes to study law in future and she asked me recentlyif it is legal to get investment visa of United KIngdom from proceedsof crimes?My respected MP, I would like you to raise this question in the Houseof Commons. I would ideally like to summon the relevant officers andexplain under which law and category , this criminal and his family hasbeen allowed to reside in United Kingdom. How is it that they cancontinue to use their funds, banking resources while they are wanted byLaw enforcement agencies in other countries. These people have nodeclared incomes, their assets are frozen , how on earth do they getaway living a peaceful life in UK.I would like a response from relevant quarters by requesting yourassistance., if there is indeed a different set of laws for thekleptocrats in United Kingdom? And to explain how that is not the casein light of what I mentioned in my letter.I want to know how NCA can refuse to divulge information of an out ofsettlement ( biggest in the entire history of UK) from a criminal fromone of the poorest countries on planet ( Pakistan). How and why is itNCA did not confiscate the property like they do for organised crime orthe case of the spouse of Oligarch from Uzbekistan.Most importantly, the Foreign Office needs to declare openly underwhich visa category the ex Prime Minister and his henchman are livingin UK.I apologize for taking your time. I can assure you I am not sufferingwith paranoia or jealousy. I appreciate your time and resources arevery precious. But more than a Pakistani criminal , this is more aboutrule of law in United Kingdom.Yours sincerely,XXXXXXXXXXX.

Sure! Done right, it's an amazing experience, but done wrong it will have a negative and all-encompassing effect on your life. I've had both.The very first time I heard the word ‘surrogate’ was when I was told that I'd need one. I’d had a horrible pregnancy, ending in a heartbreaking loss that necessitated a lot of interventions, including several D&C’s and antibiotics etc. After it was all over, I was diagnosed with Asherman’s Syndrome (intrauterine scarring) and told that I might face fertility issues. I requested to be panelled, which meant that a group of consulting specialists would get together and collectively review a patient’s file and decide on a course of action or a diagnosis and treatment, if there was any. I remember meeting 7 doctors that all told me, one by one, that pregnancy would be impossible; one doctor actually had the gall to compare me trying to get pregnant to nailing a picture in a crumbling wall full of holes. Through tears, I asked those “specialists” what my options were, because I'd always wanted children, and one doctor replied that adoption was always an option, or later, I could find a surrogate. I asked what a surrogate was and he replied that it was a woman that has a baby for you. I cringed, picturing the Hollywood version of the destitute, but fertile, young woman that moves into my house for however long and into my marital bed for 3–5 nights so that she and my future husband could make a baby and pass it off as mine. Um, no!I became a fertility consultant so that I could help people experience that miracle, and I could enjoy pregnancy and birth by proxy. It helped ease the sting a bit but nothing truly ever took the pain away. I cried sometimes, especially on the first day of my period, and always found a suitable reason (excuse) to miss any baby showers or Christenings or naming ceremonies. One of my friends had a baby girl and I was obligated to visit her in hospital, but didn't stay long enough to even take off my coat and stumbled out in a weepy, emotional mess because although I wanted it so much, I'd never have those experiences.Fast forward a few years and a relocation to Ontario, and I found myself at the doctor’s office again, complaining about irregular periods and cramps on my left side. He explained that I probably had a cyst on my ovary, which is common in Ashermans women; their bodies can't understand why they aren't getting pregnant so the body ramps up the fertility hormones, but to be sure he sent me for an ultrasound. I went next door to the ultrasound clinic and 10 minutes later I was in an ambulance en route to the hospital for treatment of an ectopic pregnancy. I woke up feeling worse than before, because I realized that I had fertilized however many embryos that never had a chance to grow, and I felt like I’d had dozens of abortions. I spoke to the doctor and told him to tie my tubes, do a hysterectomy, whatever, just to make sure that I could not ever fertilize another egg. He agreed, but told me that I should have one spontaneous menstrual cycle and then come back to him to discuss options and make plans. I came back a few months later and told him that he had done something wrong, that at least I used to bleed, but hadn’t since the ectopic issue. In hindsight, I was very abusive to him. He asked if there was anything else going on, were my breasts sore (yes, they were always sore when my period was due!) was I nauseous at all (yes, I had a stomach flu!) was I tired (yes, I’d been working a lot!) and on it went. He asked me for some urine and then I understood what he was getting at and started to cry, begging him not to do that to me. He replied that pregnancy had to be ruled out before any other tests were done, and I relented. He did the test in front of me and the stick went in white and came out vivid blue. Glowing, Microsoft blue. He told me I was pregnant and I told him he was an asshole, then left angry and went about my life, missing every obstetrical ultrasound that he dared to schedule for me. I wasn't an obstetric patient, therefore I had no need for an obstetric ultrasound, right? Eventually this doctor called me at work and invited me to prove him wrong, so to do exactly that, I left work and went to the clinic for my ultrasound, fully expecting to see the same empty and barren mess that I had always seen on a sonography screen. The tech did the usual, measuring this and recording that and then invited me to look at the screen. I saw what looked like an unshelled peanut, the combination of a fetal head and abdomen, and in that abdomen was a beating heart. That transducer was on my belly, and that was my name on the screen and those were my baby's measurements the upper corner and that was my due date beside it, with a date that was 5 months distant and in that split-second, my life was entirely different. No words can explain or describe what that felt like, intense euphoria followed by intense regret. I hadn't believed that it was possible, so I hadn't been behaving like a pregnant woman should. I threw my cigarettes in the garbage before I even got dressed and ate a large, nutritious meal on the way home, which promptly got rejected, and I set about making the changes necessary for Motherhood and waited for my baby. My baby!I went overdue and finally birthed a healthy fat gorgeous baby boy, very quickly. Having spent a long time learning and teaching about fertility, I knew that women are never more fertile than right after a pregnancy, so I started thinking that maybe I could get lightning to strike twice. Well, lightning struck, and I carried and birthed my 2nd son, 13 months after his big brother. I was ecstatic! My doctor warned against pushing the envelope, so I went on birth control pills. When my older son was 2, I dropped a birth control pill down the drain, and that was son #3. Son #4 followed, and so did his siblings, until I had 7 sons and 3 daughters.Following the birth of my youngest baby, I started to give serious consideration to the miracle that I had been given. Yes, the doctors were wrong about me but they wouldn't and couldn't be wrong about everyone, and somewhere in the world there was a good and deserving woman that, through no fault of her own, still cried the same tears that I had cried and I wanted, needed to help her and take that pain away.I got in touch with a surrogacy agency in Canada and filled out the ream of paperwork, applying to their program as a surrogate. I was accepted and I was sent 3 dossiers of intended parents. The surrogacy consultant had told me about a couple that she had been thinking about and I spent a long time thinking about them before I'd received the 3 files, but I put that couple’s file aside and tried hard to be objective as I read through the other 2 files. The 1st couple had children from prior relationships but she’d had a hysterectomy and they wanted a baby together. The 2nd was similar but he’d been rendered a paraplegic following an accident and she had been his nurse and they’d fallen in love; they wanted a baby together and planned to finance IVF and surrogacy with his settlement. Both of those couples looked like okay people, but didn't feel right. I picked up the 3rd file and started to read. Midway through the 1st page, I had to put it down and take a minute to compose myself. Charles and Marie were a traditional married male-female couple, and Marie had been diagnosed with Rokitansy-Mayer-Küster-Hauser Syndrome and her bravery and courage and commitment leapt at me off of the page. They were young, beautiful and deeply in love and their hope matched their commitment. She had uterine issues just like me, mine was broken and hers was absent and we both had functioning ovaries. Marie even mentioned how frustrating that was. She was the same age that I had been when I had been given that heartbreaking, and fortunately wrong, diagnosis, except hers was correct. She felt the frustration I had felt knowing that ovulation was happening but the embryo had no place to develop and I knew without asking that she had cried the same rivers of tears that I had cried too. ‘Them!’ my internal voice screamed, ‘Them! They're right! It's THEM!’Marie and Charles lived in Europe and sought a surrogate in Canada because our laws made citizenship much easier, plus Canada has a high percentage of French speaking people, which I was, but rusty. I told the agency right away that I wanted to work with them. They were sent my file via fax because Marie demanded it once she was told about me, and Marie called the following Sunday. We spoke a little and cried a lot, and developed a method of translating emails that still makes me laugh. That was August and we were ready to start transferring embryos by November.Pregnancy by IVF isn't easy to achieve though. I was evaluated medically and physically and emotionally and psychologically. I was given strong drugs and a very intense schedule of do’s and don'ts. I was put into chemical menopause and then my endometrium was built up and readied for it’s new occupant with more hormones and steroids and blood thinners and prophylactic antibiotics. The transfer itself happened sooner than expected because Marie had triggered a bit early and the embryos weren't doing very well. Out of 24 eggs, only 11 developed and of those, only 7 were considered even remotely viable. I was given the 3 best embryos on day 3 of their development, and quietly told to not get my hopes up. One nurse even said that they'd see us next month. Marie was holding my hand as her baby seeds were transferred into my uterus and I relaxed and waited the requisite hour with Marie by my side the entire time. We left and went home, and walked in to hear the phone ringing; the clinic called to tell Marie and Charles that the remaining 4 embryos had collapsed, so all they had, all of their hopes and dreams, were in me. My past reared it’s ugly head and I refused to be written off again. I was determined to do all that I could to get pregnant and stay that way and surprised everyone by doing exactly that! Marie and Charles lived with me during the retrieval and fertilization and transfer period and it was a beautiful time in all of our lives. I'm delighted to say that I jumped the gun and got my blood tested early at a walk-in clinic, so that Mom was able to hear those words right from the confused doctor’s mouth, ‘'You're pregnant. Um, well, she’s pregnant. Um, well, she’s, er, you're going to have a baby!’I had an early ultrasound as part of the IVF protocol and I remember looking at that tiny little comma of a baby and thinking ‘Do you know how much you're loved already?’Because there's no safe way to know exact amounts, protocol dictates that a surrogate be given plenty of supplementary hormones using pills and injections and vaginal suppositories, for a minimum of 6 weeks before the embryo transfer and at least 12 weeks after. The hormone injections are an oil so you need a bigger gauge needle and by my 13th week of pregnancy, my ass looked like a Monet masterpiece from all the injections. The high doses of hormones tend to exaggerate the usual pregnancy symptom, so you're not a little bit tired, you're wiped right out. You're not a little bit sick, you're extreme. Your breasts aren't tender, they're on fire and I walked around with my arms crossed in front of me for 2 months to safeguard against any bumps. Aside from the injections and resulting exaggerated morning sickness, it was an easy pregnancy and I put intense effort into making sure that Mom and Dad were kept very involved. I was acutely aware of what it was like to need another woman to carry your baby, so I adopted a strict policy of making absolutely certain that all the firsts weren't mine alone, driving my Midwives crazy in the process. Our Midwives were excellent, even rearranging their staff structure so that the only French speaking Midwife was on my team. It became a routine; I would provide a schedule of my pre-natal appointments to Mom and Dad and I would send a quick email when I was leaving my house and again when I arrived at the Midwives office, then Mom would call and I'd hand the phone to the Midwife, who would then do the entire appointment with the phone tucked between her shoulder and her ear. In this way, Mom and Dad were able to hear the baby’s heartbeat at the same time that I did and they would get information directly as it was determined and have the opportunity to ask questions and be very involved. I had an ultrasound and explained the situation to the technician and asked her to write the baby’s gender down on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope. I went to a scheduled appointment with my Midwives right after and she opened the envelope on the phone to Mom, announcing that I carried a baby girl.It was around this time that my Midwives strongly advised Mom to secure the very best travel insurance that she could find, and to make sure that it covered hospitalization. They were unable to explain why, but continued to strongly suggest it. Mom agreed and followed their advice.I saw first-hand all that these brave and selfless and amazing people had been through in order to become parents, and I didn't want to make them wait longer than necessary so I’d sought a social induction and Mom arrived on Monday, 2 days before I was scheduled to be induced. Mom and I walked into the hospital together holding hands and she was there for all of it. The Midwife cleared the baby’s head and shoulder and invited Mom to catch her daughter, which she did. The Midwives invited Mom to cut the umbilical cord and when they took baby girl to attend to her, Mom collapsed on me, sticky and wet with birth, hugging me and speaking the only English words she knew, 'Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU!’ Word spread through the hospital about what was going on and nurses, Midwives, student doctors, health care aides, even a janitor came in to see and congratulate us and wish us their best, and they all started crying and of course my Doula and Marie and I were all crying happy, triumphant tears; there wasn't a dry eye in the ward. Both Marie and I were too busy, me crying and watching this brave and courageous woman become a Mom and Marie in awe of her daughter, to notice that the primary Midwife had disappeared until she returned with paperwork for Mom to sign and bracelets for her wrist; one that matched her daughter and allowed access to the nursery that the baby would never be relinquished to and the other for Marie as a patient. They admitted Marie to hospital for “nonspecific abdominal issues”, but there was nothing wrong with her. They knew that she didn't want to miss a single second of her daughter’s first days, and also because the Midwives, in their unique wisdom, wanted to provide a supportive and watchful environment for the transition of baby going from being in my care to being in her Mom’s. Plus, Marie was a new Mom and could use some support. The next 3 days were amazing; insular and protective, Marie worshipped her daughter and was the fantastic Mother I knew she would be. We laughed together and loved and I'm still so proud of her.I had been a bit concerned about how I would feel, and how it would be for Marie to bond with her daughter because in theory, baby girl had been hearing my voice and my heartbeat and had been rocking in my body to the rhythm of my world and it should have been me that she was used to and took comfort from, so I expected a period of adjustment. Nope! Baby girl was born and came out looking for her Mom and it was Mom that she wanted and Mom that comforted her. On the night of the day she was born, I left to use the bathroom and take care of myself as a newly postpartum woman does and as I was leaving the room, baby girl started to stir in her isolette. I was close by, just in case, but didn't hear a cry and assumed that she had gone back to sleep. I walked back into the room to find the isolette empty and baby girl snuggled in her Mom’s arms. Mom had just gone through a very intense 3 days, with a transatlantic flight and helping her daughter be born and was understandably exhausted! Marie was asleep but baby girl was awake and I looked at them together, a study in beauty. The look on Marie’s beautiful face spoke fulfillment and pride, while baby girl’s face and wise little eyes knew that she was loved and had the world in the palm of her little hand! I understood then that as long and as much as Marie had been waiting for her daughter, so too had her daughter been waiting for Marie. I was just the doorway.Charles arrived a few days later and proved himself to also be an amazing Dad. I took my Mother and children to visit and when baby girl started to fuss in my Mother’s arms, my Mother experienced a moment of uncertainty as to who to pass her to. Her Mom, of course. Dad was flipping a steak and my job was done.Baby girl will be 13 next year. I keep in touch with them still and recently found out that she's studying English in order to better talk with me when we visit them in Europe next spring.You asked about experiences and there were plenty, but one huge thing stands out. Strangers would ask about my pregnancy, how far along are you, is this your first, etc. and when I told them that I was carrying as a surrogate, I always got one of the same two reactions; the person would open a dialogue about their daughter or daughter in law or niece or neighbour or someone else in their world who had experienced infertility and they would tell me what an amazing and generous thing I was doing. Or, the person would be aghast, asking me how I could do that, carry a baby for 9 long months and feel it grow and move and then just give it up? Well, both are wrong. I'm not an amazing and generous person, I’m a woman that was given a miracle and wanted to give a bit of that miracle back because I had red in my ledger and needed to say thanks to the Universe. It wasn't a one-sided act of generosity because I was given plenty of gifts and memories too! Just imagine the trust and confidence that was given to me and I was only one small part of a miracle where the sum total was enormously bigger than its parts. And no, I'm absolutely not carrying and birthing and giving the baby up, I’m giving the baby back!As a really cool footnote, I had a saline ultrasound during the medical evaluation part of things. The Doctor approached me and asked if he could use my images in a professional capacity, to show his infertile patients what a perfect uterus was supposed to look like. I consented and signed off on my permission and release, then smiled a bit, wishing I could package that experience and mail it to each of the 7 “specialists” that had told me that I’d never be pregnant, but since I couldn't do that, I’d have to just enjoy it for myself, that the uterus they all told me was broken and barren was now to be used as the example for the uterus that everyone should be so lucky to have!But this answer wouldn't be complete if I neglected to touch on some of the negative experiences as well. My most recent term surrogacy was fraternal girl-girl twins, and I carried them for a man that should never have been allowed to walk a dog, let alone parent!I met Paul and he introduced himself to me as a single, heterosexual, financially secure and domestically stable man that lived in one of Manitoba's smaller and remote towns. Paul had embryos on ice and explained his need for a surrogate by telling me that he had devoted so much of his life to building a financially secure and stable environment that he hadn't been able to dedicate a lot of time to dating and a social life, but wanted to be a parent and refused to marry a fertile woman he was fond of and could tolerate in order to have children, knowing that he very well might spend the next 20-odd years being miserable. I thought that was noble, and saw no cracks in his façade until I was 20-ish weeks with his twins, when I was trying to explain to him what just gestational diabetes was because I had been diagnosed as hypoglycemic, and borrowed his phone to type in the G for just gestational and GAY CRUISES came up in his history. Um…I'm going to insert a little disclaimer here, and confirm absolutely that I have no issues whatsoever with anyone or any part of the LGTBQ spectrum, but I do have huge issues with liars and even bigger issues with people who exploit me and potentially put me in harm's way. Handling and testing body fluids is a very stern aspect of the IVF clinic protocol for every patient, and there's another layer of protocol for people who potentially engage in what they deem risky behaviour. Same sex physical relations are on that list of risky or at-risk behaviour, and the body fluids of risky or at-risk patients is handled a bit differently. As an example: patients deemed high risk arrive at the clinic January 1st 2015 in anticipation of IVF and their blood and semen is collected, the blood is tested and the semen is cryogenically preserved, then 3–5 days later, more semen is collected and also put on ice. If the blood comes back within normal limits, the patients return to the clinic in 6 to 8 months (or however long depending on the individual clinic regulations) and their blood is tested again. If that round of tests comes back within normal limits and without any red flags that indicate exposure to anything sexually transmitted, the semen sample collected at the 1st and 2nd visit several months prior is washed and used for the IVF process.In my case, none of that happened.Prior to ever getting pregnant, I'd asked Paul what he planned on telling the children about their origins, because I refused to participate in anything other than the truth. I explained to Paul that I'd seen it both ways, where the surrogacy process was explained honestly and normalized and also where the Intended Mother padded her clothes and the Intended Parents sat for expectant parent pictures and lied their faces off to everyone, including and especially the child or children, and had it blow up in their faces and end very badly. I explained that I'd personally known a couple who had become parents via an ova donor and a surrogate but had done the above nonsense and more at the suggestion of their rabbi, and then had a lot to explain when an update letter with pictures to the ova donor was returned for insufficient postage, and I refused to participate in anything other than the truth. Other surrogates might feel differently but for me, dishonesty in any form was a deal breaker, and Paul assured me that he'd discussed that exact topic with counsellor at the mandatory psychological evaluation and decided whole-heartedly that honesty was the ONLY policy, and he asked me if I would avail myself in the future if anyone wanted to meet me or had any questions. I liked that and I was assured and moved forward confidently.It's worth noting that I'd adopted my usual policy of parental involvement and invited Paul to ultrasounds and obstetrician appointments with me, except he'd do this thing where he'd take pictures and videos and plaster them all over social media. Some of them were very personal (think of shutter-happy tourists at an early ultrasound with a trans-vaginal transducer!) and I told him to take them down. Eventually it got to the place where I was going to doctors and sonography appointments by myself because he absolutely could not be trusted, even after I pointed out to him that because I hadn't given him many rules to obey, he needed to be super respectful of the ones I did and it didn't stop.Part of IVF protocol dictates that you name next of kin and other designates in the event of death or other tragedy and provide emergency contacts and emergency numbers He didn't, and when I asked about contacting him, just in case, he very reluctantly gave me his emergency number at work (he was a pilot) and I was in my 24th week when he finally disclosed the numbers, but instructed me to tell them my name was Dayna C****n when I called. Um, wtf?I remember it clearly. It was Christmas and I was sitting on the riser on the basement steps when he finally came clean and told me that Dayna C****n was a portmanteau of my first name and the surname of the anonymous ova donor whose confidential file he had raped when left alone with her file at the IVF clinic. He then went on to explain that he had told everyone in his world that Dayna C****n was an old girlfriend with whom he'd crossed paths and enjoyed a wild, drunken weekend and when this Dayna C****n called to tell him that she'd caught pregnant but planned on scheduling an abortion, he rode in on his white destrier with his salvation banner flying and offered to parent the baby and absolve her of any social or financial obligations. Twins was a surprise to them both. It came out as a whispery croak, but I managed to ask, "And the babies?" He confirmed that they would be told this same story, and I leaned forward and vomited on the floor between my feet. It hit me immediately that these innocent little girls hadn't even taken their first breaths but their father was already deciding on ways to abuse them and damage them because he wasn't comfortable with himself, his life or his choices. Had I been 14 weeks and not 24, I'd have secured an abortion before the sun set on the day but I was far too advanced in my pregnancy to allow a safe abortion. Then that realization hit me too; he had been waiting until the window of opportunity for abortion was closed but he had known all along and he had lied to me about that too! I had no choice but to stay pregnant and make him a parent. My husband was utterly disgusted and offered me as much support as he could, trying himself to speak with Paul but Paul flatly refused to discuss the matter.Prior to me even getting pregnant, Paul and I had agreed to do what most Canadian surrogates and Intended parents do, which is to agree to an amount of compensation and then contract the expenses. I was to have been paid $25,000 in cash and then another $6,000 in credit when I bought a new car as well as receiving $300 a month for expenses. I only got the $300, and Paul explained that he was nervous about violating the Assisted Human Reproduction Act, which forbids commercial surrogacy, and getting in legal trouble, but he assured me that he had the money in a separate account and ready for when I delivered, and to just keep track of all my expenses, which quickly added up into the thousands of dollars. Towards the end of my 37th week, and just as we had often discussed I would do, I got in touch with Paul to give him the details of the car I was buying and the contact information for the dealership. It was at that time I found out that Paul was broke. He was so indebted that he couldn't even provide me the $6,000 on his credit.Later the next day, my husband wanted to show me something on his iPad so I got up to have a look. That 'I'm huge pregnant and I moved too quickly' cramp didn't go away, and I felt a gush of fluid. My first thought was that my membranes had ruptured and the midwife in me wanted to make sure that the amniotic fluid was clear of meconium, except when I checked it wasn't amniotic fluid, it was rich red arterial blood and I was in big trouble hemorrhaging. My husband and my younger 2 daughters rushed to the hospital and I'd bled through 2 big thick bath towels by the time we arrived. A quick ultrasound confirmed that 35% of Baby B's placenta had abrupted and I was wheeled in for an emergency cesarean section, but even that was fubar'd. I had bouts of anaesthetic awareness and I remember feeling ripping and burning and bewildering pain in my chest and fighting at a tube in my throat. I remember floating and seeing my family in the hallway, and wanting to comfort them because they all looked just horrible and lost. I woke up screaming. Apparently the obstetricians weren't comfortable with giving me medicine for pain in anticipation of what I might feel and preferred to treat the pain as I had it, which led to more pain than I had ever felt in my life and a morphine pump, but once that started to work and I stopped screaming, I looked around at all the machines and monitors. I'd had a section with my 2nd surrogacy and distinctly remembered far less monitors and far less intensive care. My husband was there and looked absolutely terrible, all puffy and red and he kept on repeating 'You're here! I can't believe you're here!' til I got annoyed and reminded him that I was fresh out of surgery and asked where the hell else I might have gone? It was then that I found out that some doctor had left the operating theatre and found my husband by name in the waiting room, then without any preliminaries, announced that I was dying, if not already dead. In the reiterating of his perspective, my husband broke down and kept saying 'He told me you were gone. He told me you were dead!' until I picked up on the 'he, him' part and asked who he was, because both of my attending doctors were women. Eventually we were able to sort out that the he in question was a doctor who was so early in his medical training that he was assigned to set out instruments in the operating theatre, and was dismissed from his position due to complaints filed by me and 2 other patients (in one case he'd made some very inappropriate statements to the attending doctor while he was watching the attending repair a brutal episiotomy from an instrument-assisted delivery and the other was following some statements he had made to a new mom whose son was born by section and was having a difficult time nursing, and he had told her that maybe her son was going to grow up to be a faggot since he would chew on those like they were cookies, meaning the new mom's nipples) lodged later that day. My doctors did look for and speak to my husband to secure permission to transfuse but my husband refused his permission since he knew how strongly I felt about donated blood and that if ever my death was a foregone conclusion, not to waste precious donated blood on a lost cause when it could and should be used on lives that can and should be saved. As a result, I have Sheehan Syndrome and my anterior pituitary gland shrivelled up and died.My husband stepped out to move the car and call the family and friends he'd spoken to about my imminent death and set that right, and when I knew he was gone, I collared a nurse and forced her to tell me what my husband wasn't strong enough to hear. I had lost a lot of blood and my heart had stopped working off and on during the surgery. I'd coded twice and the other pain I was in was from the resuscitation efforts, namely chest compressions and mechanical ventilation. Hence all the monitors and the exhaustion…I'd been dead!While I was in surgery, my husband called Paul, who began the 8 hour drive to Winnipeg. He arrived around 2 that morning and was very moved when he met his daughters, naming them Rose and Dawn. No mention of Dayna.I was moved to the post-partum ward and had all kinds of complications, including fainting and ruptures and hematomas. I had a shower when the babies were about 20 hours old and had the audacity to hemorrhage, which disturbed one of the babies when the cavalry arrived, which Paul tried to wring me out for. I was brought for an ultrasound and when I returned, Paul was asleep in my bed so I asked the charge nurse for a pillow and went to sleep on the couch in the family room at the end of the hall, which became a pattern for the 5 days I was an inpatient. Paul had a visitor and wheeled his daughters to the end of the hall to visit, since Dayna C****n was so distraught and distressed that she was unable to receive visitors. While Paul and whoever were enjoying their visit down the hall, I went into the room to get my shower stuff and some pain pills, and sat down to wait for the inevitable confrontation. I was told that I wasn't wanted for anything in the future, social or legal, and I wouldn't be paid until Paul received the proceeds from the sale of his business, about 2 more months, but if I didn't cooperate then I'd get nothing. Please keep in mind that I was exhausted, that I'd been through hell and that I was in significant debt from having taken time from work and having had to pay out of pocket for a nanny and a housekeeper for the last months of the pregnancy. I had no choice but to wait. Over the course of the next few months, I was given meagre amounts of money, $500 here and $750 there, but nothing close to the $31,000 plus expenses that I was owed, and then one day, I was served with the Declaration of Parentage petition documents and when I called Paul's attorney, I was told that Paul had informed his counsel that I'd been paid in full. By that time, I had only a days to prepare a counter-suit before the statute of limitations expired. I filed it but the documents weren't served; Paul had left Manitoba.Do I regret their creation? No, the Universe dictated that Rose and Dawn should exist, and I only hope that they're strong enough to overcome whatever they experience resulting from their father's discomfort with his own self. I've seen him on Facebook, broadcasting his bullshit on single dad group pages, soaking up the admiration of strangers that tell him that he's a lucky guy and an amazing father and that the girls mother is missing out. I've been tempted, so tempted, to respond and post something that indicated the truth, but it won't help anyone except me.I've been involved in the best of surrogacy and the worst of surrogacy, and I still have faith in it, because I've been there when it's amazing and there's nothing quite like it! I do condemn the Assisted Human Reproduction Act and others like it as well as the government and politicians that try to pass and enforce laws that restrict or sanction my body and what I do with it. It boils my blood that countries allow 3rd and 4th and 5th party assisted reproduction but governments try to regulate it and discourage it by making it uncomfortable and dangerous instead of banning it outright. People are getting hurt, women are getting used and exploited, and that shit needs to stop. I can't understand why it's MY BODY-MY CHOICE if I get pregnant and I don't want to be pregnant, but it's MY BODY-YOUR RULES if I want to carry someone else's baby and participate in that miracle. It makes no sense, but surrogacy does, and I'm glad that I've participated in those miracles…