The American Cancer Society Is Looking For Volunteers: Fill & Download for Free

I'm very sorry to hear about your troubles. There isn't a one size fits all but here goes.I think that kids know that something is wrong by how things are changed at home as a result of all of this. There is more stress, shorter tempers, less attention. So I recommend that my patients tell their kids early on that something is wrong.Either you or the both of you sit with them and say something like this:"I (we) want to tell you something that is very important. Your daddy has been to see doctors because he isn't feeling well. They have found that he has something called a cancer. This is a serious problem. The cancer is in the part of his body called the pancreas which is behind the stomach. The pancreas is important because it helps people digest the food they eat. This is a big problem and we are worried about it. Daddy's going to have to get treatment that will sometimes make him not feel well. Sometimes your daddy and I will be worried, or tired, or feeling sick. And sometimes we are going to be short with you or we will be busy trying to help him. We want you to know this because we don't want you to think that we don't love you if we are busy or tired.""This isn't something that you can catch, and it's not caused by anything that your daddy or anyone has done. In other words, it's nobody's fault that this is happening (sometimes kids have magical thinking and think that they are being punished for not being good kids or for not cleaning their rooms). And it's important to know that just because your daddy has this, you are not going to get this. (You are basically telling the kids that it's not contagious and not inherited which is good for them to know).""Your daddy and I, with our doctor's help, are going to do everything that we can to make him better. But this is going to take some time and for awhile our lives are going to be a lot different. But some things are not going to change. Your daddy and I love you very much and we are going to do our best to make things OK."So this kind of discussion let's the kids know that something is wrong, what it is, and how it might affect their lives. It also let's them know that whatever is happening is not their fault. Kids seem to know when things aren't right and I believe that being open with them helps them understand a little bit of what's going on and is better than having them wonder why everything seems different.What to answer if they ask if daddy is going to be okay? That's a hard one but maybe "We hope that he will be okay and we're going to do everything that we can, but the doctors don't know".So what else can you do?1. Contact your friends and relatives and let them know what is going on. You don't have to speak with each one. Tell the one or two that you are closest to and have them tell the others. Accept all their offers of help for meals, help shopping, driving your husband to some treatments, driving kids to school, offers to clean your home. Ask your closest friend to organize this. You talk to her, she tells everyone what they need to do. They want to help and you'd do the same for them too. For your friends and relatives that don't offer, ask. It's okay and at the end of the day, everyone is better because of it. People want to help but they don't know what to do.2. For help and support, look at this website:http://www.pancan.org/It would be helpful to be in a support group, whether it's in person or online.3. The American Cancer Society can help you find a local support group also, and often have volunteers that can help with transportation to appointments and treatment.4. Get a second opinion at a university affiliated cancer center to satisfy yourself that the treatments being recommended are correct.5. Don't spend a lot of time online. You are not going to turn yourself in to a pancreatic cancer specialist in a couple of months and there is a lot of bad information online. You are not going to find an effective treatment online that the specialist at the university doesn't already know about. If you want to read something, use the American Cancer Society site to start.6. When you see family and friends, don't feel compelled to give them every detail. It's perfectly OK to say: "I'm really tired and stressed right now. I appreciate you asking but if you don't mind, I'd like to talk about something else"Use this to communicate with family and friends:http://www.caringbridge.org/7. If your kids start having problems at home or school, a counseling appointment is in order. You should speak with their teachers and principals at school so that they'll be more aware and able to help if problems arise.Best wishes to you and yours.

This answer may contain sensitive images. Click on an image to unblur it.Question answered: Is it wrong to say that I enjoy smoking cigarettes so much that if I get cancer someday I don't mind because at least I die doing something I love?To be honest Josh, I’m surprised that you’re still seeking answers to this question, given that as of today, 26 people have already provided you with some very clear-cut feedback, some of it brutally honest.I’m sitting here wondering if you’re looking for someone to tell you that it’s not wrong to say that you enjoy doing something that has a high probability of killing you.In my former volunteer experience in working for the American Cancer Society I visited classrooms throughout the greater Los Angeles area and gave slide shows on the dangers of smoking - one of the most preventable illnesses of our times.Let me rephrase your question and ask you to think about the way you would answer it yourself:“Is it wrong to say that I enjoy shooting up heroin so much that if I die of an overdose someday I don't mind because at least I die doing something I love?”What do you think? Would you be able to rationalize being a heroin junkie using the same logic applied to smoking cigarettes?

Community in regular life and college life are different. In real life, look for what your passions are. Find ways to participate in things that satisfy your passion. Find friends by being a friend to people who need your friendship.You can volunteer at the nearest SPCA if you like animals. Or become an Assistant Scoutmaster for the local Boy Scout Troup. Volunteer to drive cancer patients to their chemo treatment with the American Cancer Society or volunteer at the local Res Cross.