Planning Chart: Red Is Best Book Club Event Description: All: Fill & Download for Free

I've been reading a book called 59 Seconds. I decided to go through the book and identify every piece of immediately applicable knowledge and note it. There's a lot.Every one of these bits of advice is based off of some research. It's not conclusive, but there's evidence to indicate that all of these things work. My own anecdotal experience supports most of these as well.So here goes:On happiness:Stay busy. This is important to consider in context, since we all know that always busy miserable person. But when you're sad, or bothered by something, it is best to keep busy. Live life as normal, do things you enjoy, go out, etc.Journal and write out your thoughts daily. People have been shown to cope better with problems in their life by writing out their feelings over talking about them. Getting your thoughts on paper is the narrative to your story. Too many people don't know themselves, and when you write what you actually think and feel down, it's like getting inside the mind of a character in a book, but that book is about you.Note 5 things you are grateful for daily. It can be as simple as the fact that you have a dog you love or the color of the paint on your walls.Write down and describe what you see your ideal future looking like for 4 consecutive days out of the month. This is not about motivation, or Law of Attraction. It just seems that doing this makes us feel happier, and happier people do happen to be more successful.Describe one wonderful experience from your past for 4 consecutive days out of the month. Different experience each time. I suspect this reminds us that we've done wonderful things we've enjoyed in the past. They can happen again. As a personal note, I've found doing this that the more in-depth and detailed I start to describe it, the more intensely I can really feel what I felt the first time as opposed to just remembering it.Think of someone you love and spend 20 minutes writing about why they mean so much to you 3 times over the course of a month. Another link to real gratitude and appreciation. Noticing a pattern?Spend money more on experiences than material items. Experiences tend to make us much happier for much longer and provide far more richness in our lives.Have a “do good for others” day in your week. Develop a list of things you feel are kind to do for someone else. Acts of servitude, money to the homeless, a 40% tip, complimenting someone's attire, reaching out to a friend… you have to do 5 of these items, all in one day. If you'd like to do more of those items or do them on more days, feel free.Make an intentional change in your life once per month. There are circumstantial changes like getting a raise or a significant gift from someone else, and intentional changes like picking up a new hobby, joining a club, developing a habit, meeting regularly with a friend. We reap more satisfaction from intentional changes. We earned them.On persuasion:Don't heavily reward actions or work that is already enjoyed. If we enjoy an activity, rewarding us significantly is the best way to kill that joy. You may offer random small rewards as a surprise, however. But generally, why would we need to be rewarded for doing that which we love? Doing what you love to do is a thankless job.Lay your weaknesses out upfront. A classic episode of Seinfeld had a character in it approach a woman saying something to the effect of “Hi, I'm George, I'm bald, jobless and I live with my parents. How are you?” And the woman's eyes lit up… I wouldn't be surprised to see the same concept work in real life. We respect those who make mistakes and own up to them. They're human, real, and make us feel okay about ourselves. Owning up to your mistakes quickly also demonstrates a lot of confidence.Hide your strengths until later. If you're really good at something, it'll come out sooner or later. At least, that's what most people subconsciously think. If your strengths seem to just happen to come out by accident, you will appear more humble, yet still very impressive.Keep your language simple. There is no need to try to be profound or robust with the cornucopia of literary devices and words you have at your disposal. A true mark of intelligence is getting difficult concepts across as simply as you can.Get people to do you favors. The Benjamin Franklin effect. Most people know this one. People like you more simply because they have done something for you. We crave consistency, so we rectify that we must like those who we do favors for.Make eye contact often. I've been told before that when you're trying to sound energetic, if you think you sound just energetic enough, then you need to up it by about 25-50%. The same is true with eye contact. Subjects who stared each other in the eyes for significant periods of time found themselves feeling an overwhelming connection with their partner in the exercise. Some even became friends or started dating these strangers from this simple bit.Say about others what you want people to think of you. We have a tendency to associate gossip and negative talk with the person who said them even moreso than the subject. The reverse is true with those who always have a good word to say about the people they're in company with.If you really want to persuade someone, do it over food or coffee. We are more easily persuaded when we consume these items, with a whole host of potential reasons why.Rhyme your words to make them heard. Phrases getting the same message across were found to be more agreeable when written in rhyming form.Like creates like. We look for likeness in others so much, we're more likely to vote for presidents we share the same initials with. So seek to highlight the similarities you have with others you want to persuade or impress.Throw humor in to come to an agreement. Phrases like “And if you can take that, I'll even throw in my pet rock” appear to increase the chances of closing a deal.Identify the smallest amount that would help. Charities asking for donations received much more donations on average and overall more money when saying 10 cents helps, as opposed to 1 dollar helps.On motivation:Visualize how things may go if they don't go according to plan. It helps prevent you from getting demotivated when bumps in the road inevitably occur.Make concrete, measurable, time-based goals. Cover the steps that need to occur in that process.Tell other people about your goal. Have someone to hold you accountable, someone to be your system for support, someone to push you forward. Write checks with your mouth that your ass has to cash.Consider what good things will come from achieving your goal. Make an objective checklist of quantifiable benefits. “Work fewer hours, more freedom to pursue activities & hobbies in personal time, etc.”Reward yourself for progress towards your goals and sticking to your plan. Unless you're absolutely loving it anyways. Don't ruin a good thing, remember?Record your progress. Measure how far you've come as a consistent reminder.Commit to starting just 5 minutes of an activity. Once we're 5 minutes into something, the procrastination dies and we're mentally committed to finishing it. If not, hey, you only committed to 5 minutes and did exactly that.Visualize the process of achieving your goals, not the actual achievement of the goal itself. Visualize the long hours, the struggle and hustle you will go through. Visualize the act of the work.Be optimistic about accomplishing your goals but realistic about the hurdles. Consider your top 2 benefits to achieving the goal and the top 2 obstacles in your way.Visualize someone close to you delivering a eulogy of you, regularly. A reminder that our life is finite is important. A reminder of what truly matters to us and what we want said about us is important. It gives you perspective and it helps you work like all hell to live up to it.On creativity:Work solo. We do in fact seem to think up more ideas on our own. Relying on no one else really forces us to tap into our creativity.Track what you're thinking or where your mind is right at the edge of being asleep. Salvador Dali used to hold his hand on a spoon on the edge of a glass of water and fall asleep. As his hand opened up, he'd drop the spoon into the glass of water and wake up, then immediately start sketching what came to mind. It's the blurring of our conscious and subconscious mind.Step away. Let your conscious brain stew on something, then step away and consume/do something else to occupy your conscious thoughts. Your subconscious will work away at the problem you were originally presented with.Look at problems from a different angle. Ask “how would a child/friend/scientist/fool see this?” and switch perspectives.Draw an analogy to the problem and think about how it's solved in another context. How did Coke compete with Pepsi? How did Nike start? What did they do with this 200 years ago?Do something to make you laugh for 15 minutes. Helps you switch gears and activate a different part of your brain. Return to it later.Ask an off the wall question to yourself. Why are bananas yellow? How do plants communicate with each other (yes, they do)? Why do boys like girls?Surround yourself with greenery. Plants at your desk, a window looking out to nature, walks around your local park.Emphasize the color green around you. Green tabs on a paper compared to red tabs on a paper alone appeared to help people respond more creatively to certain prompts.Vary your peers consistently. By being exposed to different minds, we gain different perspectives, new insights, and new approaches to our challenges.Expose yourself to unconventional art. Those who looked at art that had something going “against the grain” i.e. a painting with all arrows facing one way aside from one facing the other way, produced more creative results than a painting with uniform arrows facing one way.Increase comfort. Snuggle up in a blanket, cup of hot chocolate, and wear some soft clothes. Supposedly it helps you with coming up with new ideas. Or sit in your underwear and drink — whatever your comfortable with.Pull lightly on something. Down to the physical level, pushing against things causes us to feel more hard-headed and one-track-minded than pulling on something. So if nothing else, pull lightly on your desk, you may have a new thought come to mind.Open up your posture. A straight and upright back with open palms and arms seems to help us with being more open to the ideas that come to us as opposed to hunching over, crossing our arms and burying our head into what we’re doing.Lay down. If all else fails, get out of your seat, lay down on the floor and stare up. This also is supposed to help boost creativity. If anyone asks you what you’re doing, you can just tell them you’re channeling the creative forces of God/the universe.On attraction:Be hard to get, except for with the person you want. The research has even indicated that playing hard to get has no impact on whether or not someone is interested in you, and in fact prefer to like people who like them. They also don’t want to feel like you just like everyone. So being a little bit hard to grab the attention/interest of by everyone except the apple of your eye can help.Light, respectful touch. People seem to respond positively more often when asked to dance, asked on a date or asked for their number when it’s paired with a light, polite touch on their upper arm as opposed to no contact at all. One might suspect that it subtly says “I’m comfortable with myself and a go-getter, but I still want to respect your space”.Interesting questions. Out of a group of questions, people who went speed dating found the most success with slightly off the wall questions when getting to know someone as opposed to the polite small talk. The most successful question for men to ask was “If you were on a hit TV show, which character would you be?”, for women, it was “If you were a pizza topping, what would you be?”Mirror others verbally and physically. Another pretty well-known one for psychology fans, and something we all do to some extent on a subconscious level. Lightly mimicking someone’s posture and stance, occasionally repeating their questions or statements back to them (i.e. “Well, I did bungee jump out of a hot air balloon once..” “You bungee jumped out of a hot air balloon?!” instead of “Wow, really?!”), and matching the pace of your words with theirs.You never want to try to come across as perfect. On one hand, you can come across as trying too hard and insecure — even on the other hand, if you do well at impressing them, you may seem too good to be true. People who had traits like a job that indicated success or very attractive facial features were both rated relatively highly on being desirable long-term partners, but if they were both, their ratings fell through the floor. Whether it fuels insecurity for their partners or makes them think there must be some other issue, you want to show both your flaws and your strengths.Have a couple activities that just so happen to indicate desirable traits. The physical activities men on average found to be most appealing in women was correlated with activities that would indicate an attractive body type. The physical activities women on average found to be most appealing in men was correlated with activities that would indicate an attractive personality (specifically the willingness to be brave and take on a challenge).Engage in thrilling, heart racing activities. Exercise, amusement parks, haunted houses, scary movies, and other endorphin/hormone releasing activities correlate with finding the other person more attractive than, say, a quiet dinner or walk in the park. Not to say there’s anything wrong with the latter, but you might find more success incorporating one of the initial options into one of your first three dates or so.Share slightly personal info and ask questions that dig a little deeper. Similar to the Benjamin Franklin effect where we feel we must like someone if we do favors for them, we sometimes feel we must like someone if we’re willing to share personal information with them. Note that asking out of nowhere “How many partners have you had?” or “What’s one of the kinkiest things you’re into?” is not what is meant. More like “Most embarrassing moment?” or “If we were gonna become really close friends, what would I absolutely have to know about you first?”Start off lukewarm, and become a bit more agreeable and friendly as time goes on. Back to the concept of not being hard to get with your partner, people want to feel special. They would ideally like to feel that you don’t just agree with everyone enthusiastically all the time, or that you’re this nice to someone you hardly know. But as you get to know them, being interested in them because of them, and furthermore not just because of their looks, but the personality behind the scenes.I do feel it’s important to note especially on the topic of dating and attraction that there’s a fine line between being aware of how you may be perceived and adjusting for that, and manipulating people by acting in a way that you don’t feel or being someone you’re not. It’s the difference between being a charismatic, charming and attractive person, and being a sleazy, manipulative person who hides behind a mask to get dates and sex.On relationships:Eye contact. Mentioned earlier as well, consistent eye contact builds closeness. Studies have helped reiterate what everyone who has sweetly stared into their partner’s eyes already anecdotally knows.Keep life exciting and interesting. It’s important to keep relationships up with how you acted in the beginning. To grow together means growing together, not stagnating or decaying together.Regularly perform romantic gestures that prioritize escapism, surprise and thoughtfulness. People found gestures like being whisked away for a weekend, coming home to a candle-lit dinner or a small love letter to be exponentially more romantic than being given a bouquet of flowers or jewelry.Remind yourself consistently of the positive qualities of your partner. The most successful relationships always had people highlighting the positive qualities of their partner. Even when they had something bad to say it was always qualified with a positive. “He’s not the best cook but he is so great about keeping the house clean.” The minimum ratio for positive:negative things expressed to or about a partner should be about 5:1 in a healthy relationships.Keep objects around that are reminders of your experiences together and relationship. A strong indicator for long-term success of a relationship was the items that held sentimental value or had to do with both partners in terms of it’s meaning or how they procured it. They often had stories behind them. People who first reflected on the positive qualities of their partner also found it much easier to forget, or not even notice in the first place, the physically attractive traits when describing someone of the opposite sex.On stress:When feeling stressed, doing nothing beats reacting in the heat of the moment. Those who applied the classic anger management techniques of hitting a pillow or yelling found themselves much more angry/upset from a stressful occurrence after 5–10 minutes than those who simply did nothing.Respond to stress in a way that’s incompatible with what someone who is stressed would do. This is a short term fix, but when you face acute issues, doing something like playing with an animal, exercising, an outdoor activity, watching a comedy, dancing, or listening to upbeat music all seem to be things which help.Rewrite reality. Reflect on the benefits or upside of what has occurred or may occur from a stressful event. Quite literally, look on the bright side.Pray for someone else. If you don’t believe in any higher power, this one isn’t for you. However, if you do believe in a higher power whether it’s God, the universe, or midichlorians/the force, pray to it regularly for someone else. Those who prayed for the well-being of people they know seemed to show increases in happiness, sense of well-being, decreases in stress and more. Those who prayed for their own well-being, financial or otherwise, did not seem to reap the same benefits. If you’re an atheist, well, this placebo effect would likely not work on you. At least there’s everything else.Listen to classical music. Those who listened to classical music (specifically Four Seasons by Vivaldi), found themselves much more relaxed and at ease compared to pure silence, TV shows, or some other genres of music (pop and rock if I recall correctly).Spend 30+ minutes outside when the weather is warm/pleasant. Spending 30 or more minutes outside when it was warm outside is associated with improved mood and decreased stress. Spending any less than that seemed to actually do the inverse, making people feel sadder, lonelier and more frustrated.Laugh for at least 15 minutes a day. Those who were exposed to comedy for a minimum of 15 minutes correlated with having lower blood pressure than spending that time listening to music or doing nothing.Own a dog. Those who had previously had a heart attack were 9x less likely to have another heart attack when provided a puppy companion as opposed to nothing at all. Some other studies also indicated a heightened sense of happiness, decreased sense of stress and lower blood pressure in those who owned dogs. This did not occur with cats or other pets. I finally have some slightly scientific backings to support my claim that dogs are the superior race.Watch a video of cute animals. Watching videos of any cute animals seems to lower blood pressure, whether it’s puppies, kittens, hamsters, goats or other adorable animals. When your boss wants to know why you’re watching cute animal videos, you can just let them know you’re trying to de-stress so you can be more productive.Keep a chart and track the “invisible” activities you do daily that burn calories. A group of hotel maids was made aware of how many calories they burned doing all the activities they did through their work day and had a chart posted in their backroom to see every day. Compared to a control group, they all lost weight, had decreased stress levels, improved levels of energy and sense of well-being in their lives, even though none of them changed their activity levels or added in exercise outside of work. If this sounds unlikely to you, keep in mind that the placebo effect is well-documented, even moreso than some over-the-counter and prescription drugs.On decision making:Be conscious of making decisions based off of pride or other people’s perceptions instead of for your own objective benefit. When comparing identical job offers, people more frequently opted for a job where they’d be paid $50k per year but their other co-workers would be making an average of $35k per year than making $60k per year but their other co-workers would be making $80k per year. There’s a common theme that many people make decisions based off of pride and how they’ll be relative to others instead of what’s best for themselves. I’m looking at you, anonymous Quora users who ask whether you should go for the choices everyone else wants you to make, or the ones you yourself want to pursue.Think on a decision, then occupy your mind with other things, then come back to it. The idea of sleeping on something just may be valid after-all. Just like with creativity being boosted by occupying your mind with a puzzle or a walk in the park, making important decisions seems to work similarly in terms of satisfaction and certainty with our decisions later as opposed to hashing out a “Pros and Cons” list.Seize opportunities. When describing regrets, it’s consistent that people more frequently describe opportunities they didn’t pursue than ones they did that went poorly.Liars give themselves away more often by showing thoughtfulness than nervousness. Those who indicate through body language that they’re nervous don’t have a strong correlation with lying. It is more often those who seem to be thoughtful that are the one’s who are fabricating. Slower speech, over-elaboration/description, looking upwards while providing details are all things that correlate with lying far more than just showing nervousness.

Excerpt of Chapter 3 of the the book “Pure Influence- The Influencer Formula: Your Brand. Your Story. Your Legacy.”Pure Influence: Chapter 3Influencer 101 (Your Job Offer as an Influencer)In this chapter we will discuss more deeply:1. How much Work it really is to be an Influencer and Steward2. The Job Description of an Influencer: including Roles and Responsibilities3. How to control the Tenure of your Career as an InfluencerDo you want the Job or not?Hit play, let me read you the story!Influencer 101For us to really understand WHAT an Influencer is —— their Capacity and Role they play in our Business Landscape…as well as — HOW that role correlates to Relevancy —Let’s look at the actual definition of the word:Here it is: The Main Event!“The Capacity or Power……to be a Compelling Force……to Produce Effects on the:ActionsBehaviorOpinions…of PEOPLE!One More Time…An Influencer — has that — CAPACITYAn Influencer — has that — POWERTo be — A COMPELLING FORCETo Produce Effects on the —1. ACTIONS 2. BEHAVIOR 3. OPINIONS — of PEOPLE.️ “You ready Big Fella!?” — Chance The RapperWhat Stewardship…What Power…What Care — Thought and Vision must go into such an Undertaking?This is why I say you either —“Got It”Synonyms:“The Juice”…“Swag”…aka… The Ability to carry the weight of being your own mouthpiece —to lead, direct, persuade, educate, consult —PEOPLE…The Power —to make People move — act and behave —differently…I know this sounds a bit dramatic — but, have you thought about this?You sure you wanna do this?The cheap seats are always open.…Or —“You Don’t Want None of These Problems”DISCLAIMER:To those that Don’t Got “It” — If you’ve had to actually rationalize the weight of the responsibility, I’d advise you to stop reading. This all will be a giant waste of your time and give you no value whatsoever.Its okay if you don’t “Got it”…The Weight of StewardshipI kind of feel like this is becoming a Goosebumps — “Choose Your Destiny” book…And I am really happy about it —“SMUG AF”…to be exactRemember This:This whole game is not a joke.Its not a casual thing.It’s not a hobby.Very Tyler Durden-esque eh Matt?Those are the rules to my Fight Club…Because being an Influencer is totally like Fight Club — Nobody talks about “How to be an Influencer” or what makes you a better one. I am self taught and so are you…I am just a little bit further on in my journey.I’ve been in the Matrix awhile and am more than willing to show you my cheat codes.It’s not a question anymore… You are here. You passed my qualification questions.Think of me as a Mr. Miagi, meets Deadpool, meets Matthew McConaughey in every role he ever played…Favorites would be in this order:Dazed and Confused “…It’d be a lot cooler if you did”Wolf of Wall Street (I’ll explain more later)Magic Mike (Jacked AF)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (Kroll the Warrior King)Dallas Buyers Club (Academy Award Speech)All of this laced with the altruism of the entire Dr. Suess Library.The Heroes JourneyHere we are — at the very beginning of your journey.You’ve answered my barraging questions… made it through my logic — which resembles a never-ending pinball game.…and found yourself hereThis is a Chart that we will be referring to periodically throughout the book. The Heroes Journey by Joseph Campell is a great reference for you to study up on.First of all: YOU are a Hero, and WE — are on the quest for YOU to be Super.We are somewhere between the Call to Adventure and Meeting a Mentor phase (see: The Heroes Journey Chart for details).Here is my offer —I’ll serve as your Mentor — its something I’d love to do…Tyler Durden? Totally a mentor. Morpheus? Stellar mentor. Matthew McConaughey in Wolf of Wall Street…?Hall of Fame Mentorship Guy.I am passionate at helping people to solve difficult problems in a shorter amount of time than if they did them on their own.If I can help you to go from MICRO — to MACRO… or MACRO to MEGA —I would feel incredibly fulfilled.It’s my Superpower —Telling stories that help people save time, money and resources… Heartache.My only terms are —“Suspend Your Disbelief : The term suspension of disbelief or willing suspension of disbelief has been defined as a willingness to suspend one’s critical faculties and believe something surreal; sacrifice of realism and logic for the sake of enjoyment” -WikipediaI’d also advise you to get good at this skill — well, only if you want to continually improve as an Influencer —Don’t forget your roots — where you came from. You got to this point because you are a culmination of your experiences.Gain some more (experiences)… Hear people out. You don’t know everything.The most influential people in this world are the ones who have seen, heard and been through the most —…so stay open, keep listening…its in your best interest.I am not saying you have to believe ANYTHING…— just hear me out.Deal?Oh — Something else you gotta know before we move on — this is an ongoing process. Once you go through that Heroes Journey Chart one time —You ain’t done *Bro!(*genderless bro, “colloquialisms” man)It’s really up to you how long (Relevance) you want to Influence for —and its really up to you how broad, how deep and how powerful yourInfluence — will BE…because its not too late… It’s still in your control.Definitely a…“to BE — or NOT — to BE” scenario.Like we just learned about Bill Gates…You gotta want it. You gotta understand the weight of the Calling… the Stewardship.Reminds me of a lesson young Peter Parker experienced, when he realized his newly acquired Capacities. The capacities he discovered would have a Resounding — MEGA effect on an entire metropolitan.The famous Uncle Ben quote:“With Great POWER —…comes Great RESPONSIBILITY”This reminds me of an even bigger word, that ultimately hangs on the Lifespan of your Influence:StewardshipThe (Job) or Office of:1. Duties2. Obligations3. ConductingSupervising… Managing… of something entrusted in one’s care —that something — could be the People you Influence…— also, their thoughts, opinions, perspectives…their Actions — AND their Behavior.Let’s Break it down…Influence and Stewardship are both NOUNS, not VERBS.That means its yours.You own it!— That’s why I asked you if you “Got it” or you don’t.You’d know…1. There is — Weight.2. It is a — Responsibility.3. There is — Trust.The Red Pill or The Blue Pill?Once you begin Creating Relevancy — you begin directing the attention of the world on —what you are doing, saying, thinking, wearing, acting, showing, thinking, going… (V Much Dr. Suess of me, huh?)All of your verbs derive back to your nouns, what you own —your influence and your stewardship — over Your Superpowers.You will never see life the same again after you ask yourself this 1 question:Blue Pill:Do you want to own THINGS —  as a Consumer?orRed Pill:Do you want to own IDEAS… thoughts, movements, visions — as an Influencer?The Influencer Job DescriptionTo be an Influencer:You must OWN — Qualities, Skills and Experiences— AND…2. You must be Ready, Willing and Able (…Juice) to be a Steward of:YOUR (…ownership) — Influence.The Fine Print: Exit Signs Clearly MarkedBest Music Video Ever — fight me on it.“I remember you was CONFLICTED —…Misusing your INFLUENCE”-Kendrick Lamar (Pulitzer Prize Winner)If there is — No Law,there is — No Sin.There is — No Guilt,…if you are unaware of the consequences.Ignorance is bliss —Too bad snitches — you just read all of this.“If ya don’t know — now ya know!” — BiggieThis is the key to Influencing & Stewardship —and How to control the Lifetime, Depth, and Resonance of your Voice as an Influencer (Relevance) —1. Do Your Job2. Stay In Your LaneYou think you can do this?…It’s up to you. This is all it boils down to.The people who do this everyday will always be Influencers.Simple.The time piece?It really depends on the the Relevancy of the Influencing you are planning to do.How well can you “Stay in your lane?”— Kendrick Lamar’s Goals:EDUCATE us on who he was,what he has EXPERIENCED…and how we can CHANGE as a society.Resounding — if not TRANSCENDING — Influence.Kendrick’s Goals > Bill Gates’ GoalsHe is on the books as one of the most influential people of all time.1. He owns his Influence.2. Stays in his lane (understanding of “self “and how that applies to Relevance)…and will ALWAYS be remembered.So before you move on and just go influencing everybody…‘Imma sound like yo’ mama or your High School Counselor real quick —Do You Know Who You Are?Let’s take your first test as an Influencer: In the words of Kendrick —“True Friends — One Question!?” — King KuntaWhich type of Lion are you?A) ScarB) SimbaC) MufasaD) NalaYour Job — Your Life — Depends on it…Next: Pure Influence: Chapter 4- Who the Hell are You and Why Do You Matter?