Board Pack - Jackson College: Fill & Download for Free

I realized that something was wrong with my dad at a fairly young age, when he told me he didn't feel guilty about anything he had ever done. Both of my parents had used guilt trips on me and my brother as far back as I could remember to manipulate us into doing what they wanted, as did many adults, but to an excessive extent. That my dad would swear that he didn't feel guilty about anything told me that something was terribly wrong. I don't remember my exact age at the moment as I am still grogy from a medical procedure. I remembered yesterday though and probably will tomorrow.My parents, like most narcissists, didn't like small children and blamed me for nearly everything that was wrong with their lives, when they weren't blaming blacks, Jews, foreigners, homosexuals, or any other minority groups they could think of. At age 3 they sent me to live for a while with friends of theirs who lived across the street from us before we moved again. When I wasn't home taking care of my brother or away at boarding school, I lived with this other family. They were nothing like my parents. They cared about their kids, did things with them, listened to them and obviously valued their children and each other. When I lived with them they treated me as one of their own, so I had a different perspective than many kids of narcissists who may not realize that the way they live is a toxic environment. I knew early that something was very wrong with my parents. I also fantasized about getting away from them. I ran away several times, once overnight, and they didn't even realize I was missing. I finally realized that if I ran away no one would miss me or look for me and I knew I couldn't survive alone so I quit running and laid low when I was home with my folks, read a lot, and waited for the months and years I spent with the other family. By the time I hit my teens I was working odd jobs and saving money (I hid it and sometimes buried it so my parents wouldn't “borrow it” from me) and I planned to leave as soon as I could legally do so. I got my high school diploma right before my 17th birthday and on the day I turned 17 I packed my few possessions in my 1967 Chevy that I bought with my saved money and left home. I stayed that summer with my other family and they encouraged me apply to college. I didn't go home except to visit after that, and not often because when I was around my own family I felr small and worthless, but alone (and with emotional support from my informally adopted family) I felt empowered and motivated to make a life for myself away from crazy. I didn't know that my parents were narcissists. I didn't know what was wrong with them, but I knew they were wrong and I thought they were crazy. I was also lucky to get counseling when I needed it because even though I spent summers and sometimes years away from my family, it was hell when I was home and I still have the emotional scars. I was fortunate to escape without becoming an addict or getting into a romantic relationship with a narcissist (something I greatly feared even though I didn't have a word for it) in order to escape. I was very fortunate to have a normal family in my life so I had experience with normalcy and could make comparisons. I took risks, like the summer I was 19 and had $500 and I had a guy friend who also had $500, so we took off on a road trip to see how far we could go in my little car and a tent. We ended up driving over 12,000 miles that summer, going north to south and coast to coast. We had less than $10 between us when we returned, but it was a grand adventure to go wherever the road took us and we were eating hamburger helper without the hamburger long before we got home to check into the dorms at college that semester. If I had a daughter and at 19 she even thought about taking off with a guy for 5 weeks with no plan and little money I would freak out. I know I couldn't stop her but I would at least want to make sure she was safe. I called my parents once while I was on the trip and they didn't even ask where I was or what I was doing. It was all about them, always. My friend had to call his folks every other day to let them know where he was, and I envied him parents who cared.I loved my parents, but I never respect them or believed their lies. I loved the other family more though, and they were the ones who taught me how to set limits on my own behavior as well as how to deal appropriately with bad behavior from others. I could depend on them to be there and be interested in me for me and not for what I could or couldn't do for them. They came to school recitals and watched me graduate from college. My parents didn't care if I even went to school. I think I survived because of them. My younger brother didn't have role models like I did, and my parents micromanaged his life while neglecting me. I was lucky because I got out. He played their games and ended up just like my dad, a malignant narcissist I found out many years later, and he did to his own kids what our parents did to us. He couldn't understand why I had to get out, and we no longer speak to each other. He used to tell me I was the broken one, my parents opinion of me as well, but I am overall pretty happy with the life I have led, while he is just as miserable as my parents always were, and still blames everyone but himself for his problems. I learned early that I needed to take care of myself and that I was responsible for myself and my actions. If I hadn't learned that, I probably would have been in trouble a lot and had a string of failed relationships. It easily could have gone so wrong. I still see a therapist because healing from growing up in a family like mine is a lifelong process, but if my folks hadn't wanted me out of their lives and sent me to live with their friends, I shudder to think what kind of person I would be today.I would tell anyone with narcissistic parents to lay low, get your act together, don't do drugs or drink or get into legal trouble, and make plans to get out and build your own life when you can. If possible, find a good role model or two, and learn to trust your instincts about other people. Trust is necessary for strong relationships, and there is little to none if you grow up in a family with broken parents. Trust others responsibly, and avoid getting sucked into relationships with people who make you feel like your parents did. I’ve seen lots of kids, some in my extended family, who went from the frying pan into the fire, by hooking up with someone who treated them just like their folks did. It wasn't pretty. Honestly you are better off learning to depend on yourself than to look for a romantic relationship to save you from your parents. It doesn't happen that way. Narcissists can spot a vulnerable young person from miles away and they will use you up just like your folks did. If you learn to spot emotionally unhealthy people, and avoid them, you will have a better chance to live a happy adult life. There is little worse than finally getting away from abusive and manipulating parents and finding you have fallen for someone just like daddy or mommy, then needing them to rescue you from a failed relationship. Then they will have you and you might never get away because they will trample on the tiniest speck of self respect you have left. I have a family member in that situation, with a child she loved more than the narcissist who scammed her, and now she is back with daddy who will never let her forget the “mistake“ that is their grandchild. It was hell for her growing up, but so much more worse now. My heart breaks for her and all children of narcissists, who only want love and someone who really loves them.

OK, going to add my two cents because I've been a poor college student (and a poor public ed teacher) and I helped put my daughter through college. You've gotten advice all over the board, and some of it I agree with and some of I don't, or rather think needs more context. You need to take everything said with a grain of salt (but not too much of course because salt is bad =P).For a single person, I do not agree with the advice to buy everything in big quantities because studies have shown time and time again how often food gets wasted that way either because it goes bad/stale before you actually use it up as just one person or because, like many people, you don't get around to using it up because you can only eat so much of X or Y in a row over the long haul before getting sick of it. That's not me. I can eat from a very limited menu and be real happy about it.The soup idea is a great one (since I'm marrried to the man making the soup who suggested the soup to you). He chops up a bunch of stuff and sticks it in a pot and then uses one of those electric hand mixers (the kinds you use to make smoothies) to cream it all down. The soup is good and does last a while—but not forever. You have to be ready to eat the soup or whatever you make "in batch" for several days in a row, meal in and meal out, to realize the economy of it.The crockpot idea is a really good one, too, especially if you need more "chunk" in your meal than soup provides. Lots of good recipes out there that involve throwing stuff in the crockpot, heading out to class, and coming home to dinner ready to eat.Other great ideas: stay the hell away from the processed foods and drinks. They really serve mostly to fill you up with crap calories that don't help your brain *and* to make you feel hungrier, which means wanting more food not less.Now, as for me, I don't like to cook anything. As in anything. When I lived by myself, I really tried to get "cooking" down to one verb like "peel" or "slice"—peel the banana and eat it; slice the tomatoes and eat them; grab a handful of almonds and eat them. So, by way of being lazy and interested in filling my time with other activities, I ended up eating mostly "raw," and because I can handle a limited menu without getting bored, I economized at the grocery store by buying only the things I actually liked, and everything was portable, so easy to take with me for lunch.Bananas, apples, and almonds (of all the nuts, especially almonds) are three foods that pack a huge nutritional punch, help keep you regular, *and* make you feel fuller relative the amount of them that you eat—i.e., you feel fuller after eating a banana than you do eating, say, a banana's worth of grapes. There's something about bananas, apples, and almonds that are good for helping minimize hunger so you don't feel the urge to splurge when you're out with impulse snack/food buying.As for nuts—especially almonds—yeah, they're high in fat, but it's the "good" fat, and almonds (the raw kind; not roasted or salted) are *really* good for you. Lots of protein and other good stuff. And nuts are pricey, but you don't need to eat a lot of them and they last forever. Don't go bad like meat and fish.Tomaotes—good grief, they're awesome for you and if you like them simple—sliced with a bit of salt AND you pair them with some olives (I love kalamata olives), you have yourself a "superfood" pairing that is relatively cheap and really healthy."Dark" bread won't do anything for you if it isn't dark *whole* or *multi-grain* bread. Some bread makers take what is essentially their crap white-bread recipe and add dye so the bread is "dark." It's not the dark that makes it nutritious—it's being whole grain. So, read the ingredient list to see if they actually list "whole grain" or "multi-grain"—pumpernickel bread is especially good for you, but other whole grain breads are healthy too. Remember that ingredients are listed in order of amount in the food.Shy away from anything with corn syrup—makes you crave more crap with sugar in it and is controversial as an ingredient for other reasons."Natural" apple sauce (with no sugar added) is cheap and nutritious.Peanut butter and banana, PB & honey, PB & jelly—PB and apple slices—Peanut Butter is filling and cheap and not bad for you. Some people like PB on celery sticks. Ew. I can't mix veggies with peanut butter like that myself. PB lasts forever, is portable, and cheap.Humus! You can make your own with the handmixer idea. Humus is portable and super healthy and cheap and it lasts a long time. I ditch the pita (useless carbs) and cut up strips of red bell pepper and cucumbers as my "dipping chips."Rice and beans, together, make a "complete protein"—independent, they both have their merits but together, protein magic happens, and they're cheap as hell to make. White rice: bad; brown and long-grain rice: good. And there's a way to soak the beans before you cook them to remove whatever it is about beans that gives you gas. Can't have you making errant body noises walking to and fro across campus. :)I've taught many a student who went on to college and lived on "Ramen Noodles," an add-hot-water to hydrate egg noodles inside a styrofoam cup soup that costs next to nothing. And that led to Cokes and Redbull, which led to salty crap Dominoes pizza and that led to more Coke and Redbull and more Ramen, which was all an eating plan of salt, sugar, and fat: the triumvirate of true evil. So, the one mentality is to buy the cheapest food at the grocery store and get to eat a lot of it, but that's not the best mentality because the processed stuff doesn't give your body or your brain what it needs to learn at its best AND it all ends up in making you crave more food because of all the salt and added chemicals. Better to eat nutrient-rich foods, as fresh as you can find them, as portable as you can make them, that you actually like so you won't let them rot in the fridge or go stale in the cupboard, and not have to eat quite so much because the food you eat is working harder for you.And get as much sleep as you can. Bad nutrition and weight gain and, thus, more expensive eating, is all directly linked to sleep deprivation, in part because you're awake longer hours to get hungry, so you eat more, and in part because you stress eat in reaction to your body's stress at not getting sleep.

Michael Jackson was extremely naive and gullible. He trusted people too easily and he was thus easily victimized. He was too generous and many people took his kindness for weakness. He was exploited and taken advantage of during the last years of his life. He was easily fooled. For instance, just watching Janet Arvizo on tv she creeps me out. By no means, would i let that woman anywhere near my house. Let alone allow her to stay in my house. Michael Jackson however, when he was informed Gavin had cancer, sent a limo and picked them up from their house, gave them a van, a laptop and money. He had his employees in Neverland donate blood for Gavin. He was beyond generous. Of course that was something he did with many people , not just Gavin, like late Ryan White, Bela Farkas, late Dave Dave, Matt Fidess’ mother etc. It is not true that Michael Jackson paid for Gavin’s chemotherapies because Gavin Arvizo was fully medically covered under Kaiser Membership, thus his medical expenses were all paid and fully covered by his father’s medical insurance !!!! However, Janet Arvizo did use her son’s cancer to pocket people’s donations, as Connie Keenan testified under oath in 2005, an editor for a local newspaper who published an article for Gavin’s 12000 $ per chemotherapy cost his poor family alleged could not afford only to find out that firstly a chemotherapy session costs a lot less than 12000 $ and Gavin had full medical coverage!!!! The Arvizos were fraudsters, with a history of shoplifting , welfare fraud, extortion, perjury and they hustled celebrities for money using Gavin’s illness. Janet Arvizo coached her kids to lie including about sex abuse and prior to Jackson she falsely accused of sex abuse two other men, a JC PENNEY security guard , who caught her kids shoplifting, and her former husband, who said that Janet was a compulsive liar. Indeed, Janet Arvizo was psychollogically diagnosed as depressed and delusional and it was in fact her erratic testimony that dismantled the Prosecution’s case. In fact, when she testified Tom Sneddon held his head with both hands as his case , which was frivolous and based on falsehoods in the first place, was ruined by his own witness, who had zero credibility!!! The prosecutors patched together a case with no credible witnesses!!! which cost taxpayers’ million of dollars!!! Only in America!!! Arvizo’s ludicrous and full of inconsistencies testimony( including an abduction to Brazil in a hot air balloon , yes really) , to which the jury often burst into laughter, vindicated Michael Jackson.Chris Tucker also testified that both Gavin and his brother Star were two very cunning kids for their age, Gavin manipulated his illness to ask him for favours and Star might have easily stolen money from him , thus Tucker felt he had to check Star’s pockets before he left his house. Jay Leno also testified, though unwillingly , that he kept getting calls from Gavin, who praised him lavishly, and he seemed fishy and scripted, so he stopped answering his calls. Even though he said that Gavin did not ask him for money Leno found it odd that a 12 year old would idolize a 50 year old comedian and ask him to be his hero. To be fair, Michael Jackson also got the message about the Arvizos and he avoided them systematically, which Gavin Arvizo admitted himself in his police deposition. He said that Michael Jackson changed his phone number, he didn’t return their phone calls, he was told by his employees that he was out of town and he was very hurt and disappointed to find Jackson in Neverland, when he unexpectedly visited it, which explains Gavin’s bitterness and revengefulness. Even though the Arvizos were serial false accusers, fraudsters and con artists, who took many people for a ride, Michael Jackson should have known better and not trust them so easily , especially after what happened with the Chandlers, whom he called his second family and they also betrayed him for money when Evan Chandler, a dentist by trade ( a failed dentist actually who was at least once sued for malpractice, used his medical diploma to supply his celebrity clients with drugs they could not legally buy and owed his ex wife June 68000 $ on unpaid alimony) and hopeful screenwriter, accused him of molesting his son Jordan in 1993, because Jackson refused to finance his screenplays and thus give Chandler 20 million $, who had some success with Robil Hood: Men in Tights and wanted much more!!! In fact, Evan Chandler was a rotten to the core, mental sociopath, who drugged his son Jordan with Sodium Amytal, a false memory inducing drug, in the pretext he was extracting his wisdom tooth, to also ‘’ extract’’ the bogus molestation story, which was debunked by the 14 month criminal investigation on Jackson ( including a strip search) , which produced no physical evidence of his guilt, thus he was not even indicted , let alone charged in 1993. It is a myth and an ignorant lie that a civil settlement prevents prosecution, investigation or conviction.Evan Chandler then filed a civil lawsuit for money ( Chandler never pursued a criminal trial because his story was bogus ) , which Jackson was ill advised and pressured to settle out of court. It is not true however that the settlement was paid by Jackson. It was negotiated and paid by Jackson’s insurance carrier Lloyds of London as the cost of the civil trial, which only had to do with monetary demands and NOT criminal charges, would have by far exceeded the cost of the settlement. Later, Michael Jackson said that settling the case out of court was the biggest mistake he ever made as it made him look guilty even though he wasn’t and it opened the Pandora’s box for further extortion attempts. Evan Chandler, who suffered from bipolar disorder, assaulted his own son Jordan in 2005 who sued him and got a restraining order against him, was estranged from his family, killed himself in 2009 and absolutely no one attended his funeral. Needless to say, neither Evan or Jordan , had the guts to testify in 2005, even though they were both in the Prosecution’s Witness List. How would they justify and explain the fact that Jordan emancipated himself in 1996 and refused to see or even speak to his parents since 1994, which his own mother June Schwartz Chandler testified in 2005? However, Michael Jackson was facing financial problems in 1995, due to the cancelation of the remainder of the Dangerous tour in 1993, his reckless spending and the drop of record sales after the allegations of child molestation in 1993, thus in 1995 he sold 50% of his ATV catalog to Sony for 90–115 million dollars, which at the time appeared to be a savvy business decision , yet, in the long run, it was a deadly mistake!!!!His talent manager, Sandy Gallin, whom he hired in 1991 urged by David Geffen, the movie and music mogul Jackson admired and respected, ill advised him to get married after the 1993 allegations of child sex abuse, to quell gay rumors and restore his reputation. This resulted in the publicity stunt marriage with Lisa Marie Presley in May 1994, after which he was as ridiculed as ever. The media never bought the romance and Michael Jackson ‘’divorced’’ Lisa Marie in 1996 ( who however became infatuated with Michael Jackson yet her romantic ideations were unrequited, not because he was gay but because she was not at all his type ) and fired Gallin in 1997. The Diane Sawyer interview, the MTV kiss, Lisa Marie Presley’s naked appearance in the YANA video were all Sandy Gallin’s ideas. Michael Jackson fired Frank Dileo in 1989 , his manager since 1984, and surrounded himself with Geffen’s and Mottola’s people ( Sandy Gallin, Bert Fields, Allen Grubman), who were nothing but harmful to him. From that point he only made bad business decisions.Michael Jackson trusted Martin Bashir ( who released an album under a record label of Sony in 2010 ‘’the Bass Lion’’ , with which MJ had a feud in 2002 and announced he would leave once his contract expired ) , who is a two faced snake, a hypocrite and a manipulator, because Uri Geller, who was Michael’s friend until then , put in a good word for Bashi r( for which Geller allegedly received a handsome payment from Bashir’s production company). To be fair, Michael Jackson had his own crew also film Bashir’s interview thus Bashir’s hypocrisy was exposed!!! Michael Jackson should be given credit for that as Bashir’s compliments to Jackson for his relationship with children being nothing short of a spiritual thing and his parental skills, which Bashir said made him cry, were shown to the jury in the 2005 trial , who saw for themselves that MJ was framed and Bashir’s off the record comments on Jackson were in sharp contrast with those of the final edit that were shown to the public ( e.g. Neverland is a very dangerous place for a vulnerable child).Why however should Michael Jackson trust and befriend Uri Geller? He was fascinated by Geller’s ability to bend spoons!!!! Than alone earned Jackson’s admiration, who loved magicians and illusionists. But being a spoon bender ( if that even exists?) is not a big deal and Geller has been accused of being a cheater and a conman. It takes a lot more than bending a spoon for me to trust a person. In fact, that alone would put me off entirely. Why would i trust a person who makes a living on fooling people? Michael Jackson was also a huge fun of David Copperfield, whose shows he often attended , but there is no comparison between Copperfield and Geller!!!! Copperfield is a true show man and Geller is nothing!!! Yet, Michael Jackson was in awe of him , simply because he could bend spoons!!!!Michael Jackson had very poor judgement in people!!!!Yes, that alone earned Geller Jackson’s admiration and trust!!!! Unbelievable!!!!Another flaw was his tendency to spend money literally like water, as though there was no tomorrow!!! He was generous to a fault. He bought his mother and Elizabeth Taylor jewlery worth million of dollars.One of the many diamond jewlery Michael Jackson gave to Elizabeth Taylor is the monkey necklace in diamonds and emeralds worth at least 200.000 $.He gifted his mother with a Rolls Royce in 1984. He also bought John Branca 2 Rolls Royces , as a gift in 1985 for helping him buy his ATV Catalog for 47.5 million $ and in 1988 for helping him buy Neverland for 19.5 million dollars, on which he spent an additional 35 million $ on the 50 seat movie theatre, the amusement park and the menagerie zoo, which featured over 200 exotic animals ( giraffes, tigers, elephants, llamas, deer, Chilean flamingos, reptiles, alligators, hippos, chimps). And who could forget Bubbles the Chimp whom Michael dressed with expensive, designer identical outfits?He donated all his proceeds from his Victory tour ( 5–7 million $) to charity, (when a fan named Ladonna Jones wrote him a letter complaining about the expensive tickets for the Jackson 5 Victory tour) and the 1.5 million $ he got from Pepsi for the fire accident while filming the Pepsi commercial, he donated it for a burn center, which was named after him. He bought late Ryan White and Debbie Rowe each a car. He also paid for Rowe’s college tuition and he gifted her with a 2 million $ Beverly Hills mansion upon their divorce in 1999 apart from the 8–10 million $ settlement he paid her based on their prenuptial agreement. Both Elizabeth Taylor and Debbie Rowe said that Jackson was generous to a fault. He gave most of his proceeds from his Dangerous tour to charity. Michael Jackson holds the World record Guinnes for the pop artist, who supported the most charities (39). He gave his Super Bowl proceeds in 1993 to charity!!! During his lifetime he gave 300 million $ to charity !!!!His HIStory tour, with record breaking ticket sales, had a 165 million $ profit. Yet, he only made a 10% instead a 30% cut because he paid for luxurious hotel suites for his entire entourage, 200.000 $ on landing fees because the airplanes he flew in were too big to land in civilian airports, board and lodging for managers, publicists and assistants!!!! and special effects his tour promoters would not approve of , including 10.000 $ for a working jet pack, an actual tank on stage, several extras etc. He paid Marlon Brando 1 million $ for a brief cameo, during which he was booed off by the audience, for his 30 year anniversary as a solo artist in MSG in 2001Yes, for this Marlon Brando was paid 1 million $!!!!!!, he bribed Elizabeth Taylor with a very expensive piece of jewelry so she would attend, he paid 250,000 $ each of his brothers to make an appearance , including his own parents who merely stood in the audience ( in fact, when they found out he would make 15 million $ , Jermaine Jackson and his parents demanded 500.000 $ each instead of the originally agreed 250.000$) , he paid 500.000 $ to book Tavern on the Green for him and his 500 closest friends to host the post concert party, he bribed Elizebeth Taylor with a 600.000 $ piece of jewelery so she would take part in his rebuttal video The footage you were not meant to see , his own mother ( to whom he monthly gave a 25.000 $ paycheck ) also demanded 250.000 $ to appear on his rebuttal video, in 1991 he paid 1.5 million $ to host Taylor’s 7th wedding in Neverland.In 1999, he paid 1.5 million $ to buy 2 Oscar statues for the 1939 film Gone with the Wind. He rented a 75000 $ NY town house for 2 years ( the highest paid rent for a NY house ever ) yet at the same time he rented, on and off, a deluxe suite at the 4 seasons Hotel , which was just around the corner, for 10.000 $ a night!!!! Only Michael Jackson!!!! In 1994, he paid 110.000 $ a month to rent an apartment in Manhatan while he spent 5 million $ annually merely on Neverland maintenance.He spent 15–20 million $ more than he made on an annual basis for years and though he had assets he had a cash crisis, not due to lack of income ( he always made 2 digit million dollars a year on publishing rights and royalties ), but due to overspending, financial mismanagement and loan interests. Even though in the 80’s he managed his finances brilliantly, made shrewd investments and he would not even tolerate a house maid stealing 20 $ from him, in the 90’s he paid, according to Frank Cascio, the phone bills for 500 people who worked for his companies!!! His finances were in chaos!!! And he kept spending money in almost a self destructive way. What did he spend it on? Antiques, expensive hotel suites, jewelery, private planes, charity, toys, books, artwork. His bodyguards wrote in their book that even though he was obvioulsy in financial trouble he spent ten thousands dollars on toys for his kids and 5000 $ on books weekly!!!! In fact, he even bought an entire book store for 100.000$ cash. He obviously did not trust his manager Raymone Bain, yet he would not fire her, instead he paid her 30.000$ a month to handle his financial and business affairs from her own house !!!!! He was not even aware that she didn’t even have an office!!! and managed his business affairs from her house, his bodyguards filled him in , nor was he aware that Bain and Rwaramba ( his kids’ nanny) rented expensive condos for them in Las Vegas with his own money!!! He no longer lived in Neverland yet he would not sell it even though it was heavily mortgaged and facing foreclosure. At the same time he wanted to buy a mansion in Las Vegas for 55 million $!!!! He would not sell any of his 75 super luxurious cars, including Rolls Royce limos ,or artwork ( worth million of dollars) and even though he organized an auction with his memorabilia for cash he cancelled it the last minute and reached a settlement with Julien’s auction house, which cost him even more money!!! Had he sold his over the top costumes, furniture, art work, jewelery he would have made million $.He took multi million $ loans to pay off previous debts and support his lavish lifestyle and by 2005 he made ridiculous 4.5 million $ ( a month , yes really) monthly payments on loans. Yet, upon his acquittal in 2005 he moved to Bahrein , bought a mansion for an alleged 1.5–8 million $, left Bahrein for good in June 2006, he moved to Ireland , where he rented a castle for several thousands $, left Ireland for Las Vegas in December 2006, he rented the Thriller villa, for 1 million $, meanwhile Neverland stood abandoned, he vowed never to set his foot there, yet he would not sell it, and he was fined with 169.000 $ in 2006 for failing to pay insurance and salaries for the remaining handful ( once up to 100 personell on a 1 million $ annual payroll ) staff for 2 months.Last but not least, his major flaw was his self destruction as far as his appearance is concerned. He hated his looks because his father called him ugly, fat nose and pizza face. He resented his father who was uneffectionate, violent and cruel and wanted to look nothing like him. In general, he remained scarred by his tormented childhood till the end of his life. He felt robbed of his childhood because he worked non stop since the age of 6 and he overcompensated for it as an adult because his money allowed him to. He was detached from reality and had not a clue as to how others ( normal people as he would call them ) perceived it. But he went too far. He hated his nose and resorted to cosmetic surgery to improve his nose but he made it too thin to the point he could not breathe . After the Bad era he should have stopped having any cosmetic work done, but by then he became addicted to it. It is not true however he intentionally bleached his skin to look white. He did suffer from vitiligo, a rare inheritable disease he got from his father’s side , confirmed in his autopsy report.Ironically enough his father Joe Jackson ( a notorious philanderer and strict disciplinarian with a very heavy hand who had no qualms whipping his kids over a miscue or wrong dance step) always told him he looked ugly because he took after his mother Katherine!!!Quincy Jones also said that Michael’s self-esteem issues stemmed from the psychological abuse he received at the hands of his father Joe Jackson. Joe and Michael’s older brothers, Tito Jackson and Jackie Jackson, often teased him when he went through puberty and his face broke out in acne.“I had pimples so badly it used to make me so shy. I cried every day,” Michael said in an interview. He recalled that Tito and Jackie would tell him he had a “big nose”. Michael underwent dozens of surgeries on his skin and nose as a result of the teasing from his own family members.Occasionally, he would not eat because he wanted to look thin, he wanted a dancer’s body, even though he was already slim, in fact underweight!!! Dr Patric Treacy said that Michael Jackson would ask him for diet pills.