Usa Hockey Hockey Canada Transfer & Standard Player Release: Fill & Download for Free

Haha, this is interesting. A class of nations.. So let me try to put this down as I see it.I personified countries and have written headcanon-ish storylines for each of them. If you want me to do any more countries, let me know in the comments.DISCLAIMERS:The stereotypes used are for satirical purposes onlyHistorical exaggeration and trivialization is not meant to offend any perosn, their beliefs, nationality, identity, sex, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race or world-viewThe humor is dark in places and have been used, again, to employ satire and irony, as well as to build personality for the “countries” as “people”.Please view the facts and jokes presented in an unbiased manner as a consumer of art.Now lets dive in.USA:USA wins. Always.He’s got the game, the name and the babes. He always wins by hook or by crook. A rich, powerful, tanned handsome, arrogant son of the powerful yet unlikely couple, city’s second biggest businessman and the well-respected school Principal. Captain of the football team and by far the best player as well (he broke the leg of every player who ever tried to play better than him).He is the kid who throws the most parties and everybody wants to be friend’s with him. He doesn’t know the meaning of ‘minding one’s own business’ and once got in trouble for interfering in Iran’s homework.He comes from an old and rich family related to that of Poland, France and his old childhood rival, UK. Canada is his first cousin. He lives in a huge suburban mansion with his own swimming pool.He is best friends with Australia and Canada and he leads the Big League (USA, UK, China, France and Russia). He however, has a rocky history with Russia who he fought with in middle school. Though they do sometimes work together, they are still at silent war with each other for the top spot within the league. China avoids them both. Apart from Russia and China, he maintains amicable relations with the rest of the league. he is now friends with UK, his playschool rival.Africa used to be his father’s gardener. USA made Africa build his father’s mansion for free, whipping and beating him into submission. He has a bad history with this gardener’s children as well. His gardener has a lot of children; Nigeria, Niger, Liberia, Libya and their many brothers and sisters. As a child, USA used to be racist and bullied the gardener’s sons and made sure they never got the opportunities and freedom that he deserved. But the entire school teamed up to knock some sense into his head. Africa has since left job at USA’s father’s and has setup his own agricultural implements store with which he takes care of his children. USA has become more tolerant recently, at least in public, though people still say he is secretly a big racist even now.He is not a bad fighter as well. In 4th grade, he helped his fellow Big League-ers and friends to fight Germany, Italy and Japan in a huge cataclysmic showdown that wrecked the class. He was initially disinterested in the fight since he considered it a little trifle between Russia and Germany but soon got involved when Japan threw a baseball at him, and called him “sissy” for not joining the fight. USA then proceeded to personally draw the pulp out of Japan and stuck pepper bombs on his seat which literally set fire to Japan’s bottoms. He then worked with Russia, probably for the first and last time to fight Germany who was more than a little stubborn . After the fight became a mess, USA regretted and urged rest of the Big League to be more tolerant.Another country he hates is North Korea. He hates North Korea, vehemently.Rumor has it that anybody who fights with him gets transferred. Recently, his businessman father has changed. He has become more alcoholic and more erratic than ever. This has had a toll on USA’s personality. His father has also now become friends with Russia’s and plays poker with him.RussiaYou wouldn’t like him angry. Ever.Russia rarely gets angry, but whenever he does, he never comes down before drawing blood. He’ll punch your nose to pulp.He is sulking Hulk of the Big League and he never really talks to his other so called ‘friends’ in the league - USA, China, UK and France. He was the most popular guy in school after UK and before USA. USA and Russia got into a fight in middle school, which toppled Russia from it’s position as the class chick-magnet. He has had a long standing rivalry with USA ever since.It all happened in 7th grade. He was the captain of the school football team but when USA tried to break his leg in the locker room, he broke USA’s nose. He got sent to detention the next day becausea) USA had only provoked him with a hockey stick and didn’t actually attackand b) USA’s mother was the Principal.He never really recovered.He is huge. Tall, athletic and exceptionally well built with untamed hair. He sometimes feels like a playboy and has had his share of girlfriends despite his reclusive lifestyle. He never really smiles nor frowns. His lips are always set in an uncomfortable straight line. He is a master at MMA and Jiu Jitsu.Germany once sat at his place in 4th grade and refused to get up. This pissed him off so much, he punched Germany on his face. Agitated Germany ganged up with his friends, Japan and Italy and tried to fight Russia. Bad move, definitely, because immediately Russia instigated the Big League and with their support as well as most of other like India, Canada, Australia and Africa beat the shit of Germany’s gang. The whole class was wrecked and they all got time out after which the Big League took it upon themselves to keep peace in class at all costs despite their differences.He works hard on his studies and does well in science. In fact, in middle school, he led the Science decathlon team. Despite being smart in Physics, he does not take part in decathlons any more. Nobody knows why. He sits in the left corner of classroom smothering down USA with his looks or chatting quietly with his best friends, Kazakhstan and Belarus. He earlier used to live in a hostel with them, but has since separated and moved out to their own homes.Counter-intuitively, however, he works exceptionally well with India, both of whom were lab partners once and share a lot of common interests. He has known China for long, since their fathers had the same political ideas but they are not the best of friends. With China, he never really talks, but they acknowledge each other with nods.Recently his dad has become friends with USA’s and have started playing poker together, much to his dismay.Canada:USA’s younger first cousin.Cute, well mannered, ambivert teenager. Friends with UK, both of them being babysitted together as children (along with Australia and New Zealand). Well liked and easily lovable. Soft spoken but has been known to be extremely aggressive under circumstances. Likes his pancakes with a lot of maple syrup. Aces most tests though he is known to often ask India’s help to complete his homeworks.He is the biggest friend of USA, UK and France and helps them always. He even joined them when they fought Japan, Germany and their friends in 4th grade.Rarely speaks against USA, whether he agrees with him or not. Though not part of the Big League (USA, UK, China, France and Russia), he hangs out with them a lot. Has changed a lot since he started dating France. Some parts of him are almost French.France:She’s hot and she knows it.The first chick of the class and the only girl on the Big League. Shopaholic, arrogant, sassy, smart and talented, she is a stereotypical popular chick. She is on the dance team and plays on the girls’ baseball team. She is the Quidditch team captain and she leads the cheerleading squad as well.She looks down on other girls except those who fan her. She is very friendly with USA though they disagree sometimes and has a frenemy relation with UK, one of her oldest friends as well as rivals.In 3rd grade she revolted against her father. Her father was a very oppressive man who regularly beat her up and abused her mother. She stood up against him knowing that it’d be in vain. But her Revolution, inspired her mother to divorce her father and move out. Her mother has since become a successful Fashion designer who earns more than France can ever spend.She is a pro at fencing and is a ruthless MMA fighter like Russia. Her bestfriend is Italy but she once fought with her as well. Back in 4th grade she teamed up with USA, China, UK, Russia, India, Canada, Pakistan and others to beat the pulp out of Germany, Italy and Japan. Germany had placed a frog on her table once and she hated frogs. Japan had then derogatorily exclaimed that it was a surprise she hated frogs because she ate snails! France, not able to take it any more sided with Russia when he fought these kids, including her erstwhile friend Italy, who in her paranoid mood swings decided that France was an unfaithful friend and therefore helped Germany and Japan. She herself delivered a huge blow on Italy’s ears, it bled straight for an hour. She later apologized to her and they reconciled.She has been dating Canada for a long long time, right from Elementary school and they are very good friends. He always stands by her and that’s what she loves the most about him.She can be very mean but is generally easy to please.UK:He used to be the most popular guy in school, once.A likable kind of guy and he was the Class Prefect once.But he also has a history of misusing his powers. Sometime in 4th grade, when he first became the class prefect, he made a lot of money behind the dark by being a very very mean jerk then who stole South Africa’s lunch money and sold crack to China also to make money. Back then, he used to be in an abusive relationship with India and he used to boss her around. He once forced India to ghost write an essay for him, promising her 50% of the cash prize but went back on his words soon enough. Around the same time, Germany and Russia got into a little fight that escalated into a huge schism. UK then proceeded to defend his Big League friends and forced India and Pakistan to do the same. They together settled the issue by kicking Germany’s ass and making him quiet. This fight however, also gave some nice ideas to India, China, South Africa and the other kids UK had oppressed. As soon as the class was cleaned up, these kids teamed up and kicked UK’s ass. He has become pretty much decent since.Impeccably dressed and handsome in the gentlemanly sense of the word. He reads classics, drinks tea and is on the Shakespearean drama team. He is also an excellent bowler on the Cricket team. He is chivalrous and holds doors open for girls, not that all of them like it.He often keeps to himself and avoids conflicts. Close to USA and extremely close to Canada. He has a dynamic relation with France. He used to be close friends with other European kids and was added by France in their Whatsapp group with Germany, Spain, Italy, Poland, Switzerland, Austria, Portugal and so on. He has since left the group because their messages confused him. Gracefully accepts his lost position at the top the big league and is now concentrating on improving his grades.ChinaHe works hard. Very Hard.China comes from a very old and proud Communist family. His late father used to be a hard-task master who believed in equality of opportunity and meritocracy. His Tiger Mom further ensured that this happened by forcing him to work harder than he possibly could.In 5th grade he fought with depression and broke down under this stress. That’s when UK sold him crack, without completely knowing what it was and eventually got him addicted. This went on for a year, until his father barged into the school and got UK suspended for a week. China was then taken to rehab and he rejoined the next year, as a changed man.His family is overcrowded. He has 8 siblings and a half sibling. He also has a cousin, Taiwan, who he is not allowed to talk to because Taiwan’s father (China’s uncle) and China’s mother are still fighting over the ownership of Grandpa’s house. Despite his autocratic home, his parents’ falling marriage and civil war, his father’s subsequent death, his family conflict with his uncle, his short addiction phase and consequent rehab and all the other challenges he faced, he did not give up. He just worked harder.Despite being smart from the beginning nobody noticed him till ninth grade. That’s when he began to work uber hard. He began to ace all his tests and tops every single paper except Math, which India tops. This has sparked off a rivalry between India and China. Despite being bestfriends in playschool, they don’t talk anymore. His rivalry with India goes so deep that he secretly started dating India’s most hated rival, Pakistan.Initially he did not mind others business . But back in fourth grade when Germany, Italy and Japan were busy pranking others, they made the mistake of pranking China as well. This infuriated China and he teamed up with Russia when fight broke out between him and Germany and contributed some cool karate moves to Japan’s abdomen.He wakes up at 5 and sleeps at 11. He does Karate, Kung Fu and Taekwondo in his free time. He never rests. He is a master tinkerer and knows how to apply science in real life. He has won the Science Fair, every year since 8th grade and sometimes makes super-cheap life hacks for his classmates, which most of them buy, including India, albeit reluctantly.Despite being a straight A student and martial arts expert, he does not have much friends. This is because he is insanely introverted, something that can be justified given his rough past. He also gets pissed off very easily. Emotionally unstable and not very matured in actions. ‘Nerd’ is his trigger word.South Korea has a crush on him and hates Pakistan for being with him. He is the smartest in the Big League.India:India never gives up. She is a fighter.India is a fighter. She never gives up. No matter what you throw at her, she just shakes it off and walks away.India is all about fluidity. Dynamic and fiery. All though, anatomically female, India is genderfluid, sometimes identifying as male at other times female. She is the only genderfluid student in the class and despite her non-binary gender, she prefers the pronouns she/her, a habit that must have come from being closeted so long in such a conservative family. India doesn’t actually mind misgendering and she is quick to forgive even if you bully her, but only after she breaks your nose-ridge.Her inhumanely beautiful mother is a staunch Hindu but her father is an atheist. She has a half sister, Pakistan. India is not in good terms with Pakistan or her mother.India can speak over a dozen languages and can smooth talk better than anyone; the latter quality could have been acquired while she was working at a fast-food joint in Middle School to help support her family. Despite having a rich background, she was forced to work hard and earn when her father’s company went bankrupt during the stock market crash. Her father was subsequently arrested for corruption and money fraud, causing huge distress in the family. India and her crowded household of four siblings worked hard along with her parents to put the family back on track. The owner of the joint where she worked even tried to sexually assault her but she ran away and successfully sued him. Due to her dedicated hardwork, she rebuilt her family and helped free her dad. Her father, has since reformed and is now running a Dosa and Tandoor restaurant. She is very close to her parents and lives in a closely knit household.When India came out in 6th grade, Pakistan and her mother told India that her sexual fluidity was a sin. India refused to change and her dad supported her. Conflicted with their religious ideals, Pakistan and her mother moved out to another apartment. Later, India and Pakistan fell in love with the same boy, Kashmir. Kashmir goes to a different school and really just wants to be left alone, but India and Pakistan are decidedly pursued him. This fanned the conflict between them and they became bitter rivals. Pakistan later began to secretly date China, though she still has her eyes on Kashmir.India comes from a very, very, very old family. It is said, that her grandmother kept a family tree that went back hundreds of generations. Her mother is a strictly conservative, uber-religious, hard-tasking person but her father is more to the liberal side.India is the hot-nerd type of person. She is an uber geek and slaves over her homework. She aces all the tests and always finishes second to China or even defeats China when it comes to Math. China hates her for it and they are bitter rivals, both of them refusing to even share notes.She is quite easily, the most beautiful girl in the class. Most boys have secret crushes on her and find it really awkward when she switches gender. Funny, charismatic, pretty eyes, she is also wild, chaotic and insanely talented. Back when she was poor, China, USA and UK used to laugh at her for her being dirty and is now very fussy about cleaning up her mess. She is known for her strict Yoga regimen and her inhumane flexibility. She is dancer par excellence, specializing Bharatanatyam and is also on the school gymnastics team. She is an exceptionally talented bats-woman and is the captain of the girl’s cricket team.Almost always sweet, but beware, if she gets pissed, then she will piss everybody else off too. In fourth grade she teamed up with UK (with whom she had been in an abusive relationship), USA, China, Canada, France, Russia and others to fight Germany and his buddies when he got into a feud with Russia. By sixth grade UK and India were dating but UK was an abusive boyfriend. One time in 6th grade, UK had made India ghost-write an essay for him by promising her that he would give her 50% of the cash prize that he wins. When he failed to give her the promised prize, she protested outside of Principal’s room, threatening to starve to death if the prize was not repealed. UK’s prize was repealed and the cash prize was given to India. A couple of days later UK got suspended after China’s father complained against him. After UK returned after suspension, guilty and remorseful, India was the first one to re-befriend him and India still remains UK’s friend.USA is always neutral about India, though it is rumored that USA has a thing for Pakistan. Russia and India were lab partners once and they are still very close friends. India’s best friend is Israel and they both help each other always but that hasn’t stopped her from having good friendship with Arabia too, India often acting as a mediator between them. She also sometimes shares her lunch with her neighbor, Bangladesh. India is also Afghanistan’s role model after she helped him rehabilitate from his psychological trauma. Many a times India, tried to get into the Big League, but she never made it.EDIT 1: This is my first answer to cross 300 upvotes in just 10 hours. Thank you so much people. I’ll update soon with the rest of the class.Arabia:Arabia is rich. R-I-C-H rich.Arabia is the rich kid in town. Remember how USA’s father was the second richest businessman? Arabia’s father is the first. He comes to school in a customized Lamborghini and lives in a palatial mansion in the desert that fringes the city. His father became rich in the end of the last century when he discovered oil in their backyard. At age 15, he got into oil business with his dad.He goes on and off at school. Most of his life, he was home-schooled and thus is still a bit socially awkward. He comes from a super-uber religious Muslim family and he is an ardent theist. He even comes to school in his traditional attire and is known for his austere discipline, especially during the month of Ramadan. In fact, it is wonder how he survives the entire month fasting till sundown given that he is otherwise an avid foodie who gorges on his lambs, camels kebabs, hummus and falafels. He however has a no alcohol policy. He grew a mustache when he was 13 and a full beard by 15. He has a wizard’s mastery business . He is the Commerce teacher’s favorite and helps strategizes bake sales for his juniors.He has been accused of being overly conservative and a little extremist. He hates when people disagree with him and he has a peculiar humor sense. Therefore, not many friends.He is however, quite friendly with Pakistan, Afghanistan and Turkey with whom he shares a lot of ideological similarities. He has an amicable relationship with India as well and they help each other out on projects. He hates Israel and that is the only disagreement he has with India. He and Israel often raze each other in stare-off contests from across the class. Afghanistan once pranked USA by placing explosive balloons in his locker and Arabia silently supported Afghanistan when Afghanistan was suspended. USA and Arabia were close friends once, but after this incident friendship has deteriorated some what. They still however, invite each other to parties and their rich fathers still trade and play poker together.GermanyGermany got into serious trouble and learnt.Germany used to be the smartest kid in Elementary school. He always used to sit in the front row and always answered whenever professors asked questions. He built cool things and all was good. However, he was also a hypochondriac and germophobe, who tried to purify himself by going on a detox juice diet and maintaining exceptional cleanliness. This earned him the nickname, “Germ-Many”, a name he detested. Then third grade, began and on the first week when he put up his hand to answer, Belgium called him ‘Germ-many’ loudly and he felt deeply insulted. He began to purposely hurt Belgium during football practice and so the rest of the class led by UK, France and Russia complained to the coach and got him out of team.This apparent defeat made him depressed, paranoid and even more hypochondriac.Now fully resentful and insanely confused, he began to plot marvelous schemes on the back pages of his notebooks on how to mete out ‘justice’ to his ‘stupid’ classmates. That is when he befriended the paranoid backbencher chick, Italy and the awkward new rich kid, Japan. With their help, he began pranking his classmates. He placed a frog in France’s table, stole Poland’s lunch and sat on Russia’s place. The latter was a huge mistake because Russia does not give up easily. Russia dragged Germany by the collar and kicked him in the gut. His Big League-er friends, UK, China and France along with India, Australia, Canada, Pakistan and Africa beat Germany and his friends. Things got messy and eventually Germany gave up.Both parties, realizing their mistakes, apologized and agreed to work together to clean up the class before the next teacher came. All except Japan, who was in First aid room with burning pepper sauce on his ass and USA who had already been sent to detention for doing it.Since then, Germany has changed. Germany now concentrates on improving his grades and bettering his skills at sports. He is an admin on the European Kids Whatsapp Group along with France and others. He has also taken an interest in Classical languages and Sanskrit and has been going to India’s mom for classes. He also won a second place in the Science Fair in 9th grade and later went on to win the first place in Junior year when he designed a brilliant new car. He interns with Mercedes Benz now.JapanChina’s creative, quiet and awkward cousin.Japan is smart. Really, really smart. At age five, he built his first robot, and at age 12, he won the National Science Fair. The Forbes Magazine mentioned him as a 30 Under 30 scientists when he was 16.He is extremely introverted and talks mostly only to China, USA, India, Germany and France. Counter intuitively given his ‘quiet nerdy’ look, he however is stylishly dressed always, and rumor has it that his fashion designer mother designs his clothes for him.Both his parents are Robotics Engineers, with his mother also running a fashion designing boutique in her spare time. His rich technocratic family didn’t send him to school till 3rd grade. This made him awkward when he joined school in 3rd grade. He immediately stuck with Germany, another smart yet awkward and confused kid. They both felt frustrated that other kids weren’t noticing them enough, so got together with the paranoid chick, Italy and decided to pull pranks on rest of the school. Initially they were successful, but Germany made a misstep with Russia and the whole class began fighting. Japan acted like a big bully and threw a basketball at USA and called him “sissy” for not joining the fight. China and the USA then together kicked his ass and beat him to pulp. USA broke his arms and badly hurt him but was still seething in anger. Nobody calls USA sissy. USA in fit of rage, even filled a balloon with chili sauce and made a ‘pepper bomb’ which he placed on Japan’s seat and forced Japan to sit on it. Even the thinking back to that explosion sets fire to Japan’s bottom. USA’s mother, the Principal, for the first time ever scolded USA for this act and asked him to apologize. Filled with remorse on after thought USA apologized to Japan and they reconciled. Germany soon stopped fighting and Japan has since worked with the Big League and the other prefects to maintain peace during and after lectures.He is the only Shinto kid in class, and he is a strong believer. He eats sushi, fish and rice and loves to share it with others. He loves history and physics, an unlikely subject combo, and aces them both. He also has the sickest katana collection in school and he often invites his friends to Zen themed parties in his parents’ meticulous tea garden. He loves anime and aspires to produce his own anime series someday. He is well liked by everyone because a) he generally keeps quiet and minds his business b) he helps everyone with their physics and history quizzes. During this summer, he plans to intern with Honda on their Asimo Robot.PakistanIs China dating Pakistan? Pakistan’s parents can’t know.Pakistan is the bewitchingly beautiful conservative girl who is also happens to be India’s estranged half sister. Their atheist father had two wives, one Hindu and the other Muslim, the latter of which was Pakistan’s mother. India and Pakistan lived together and worked together till their sixth grade and back then Pakistan even supported India during her little skirmish with UK. Then the inevitable happened. Religious tension arose between the two sisters.It all happened in 6th grade, right after India broke up with UK and UK got suspended. Confused by the sudden turn of events, India decided to come out. India came out at the end of sixth grade and declared that she was genderfluid. This did not sit well with Pakistan or her mother. They asked India’s father’s opinion. He staunchly supported India and her decision and appreciated her stance. Pakistan, however, felt that India was being blasphemous and that being Genderfluid was a sin. She moved out with her mother to the neighboring apartment, their father left with no other option but to share time between his two families. Then one day India and Pakistan both fell in love with the same boy, Kashmir.Kashmir goes to another school and really just wants to be left alone. But vying for his attention, the disagreement flared between Pakistan and India and they became bitter rivals. Religious difference and rivalry for Kashmir soured the little bond they shared and they have remained ever since.Israel is one more country that hates her, otherwise, Pakistan maintains good relations with most others, especially Arabia. In eighth grade she began dating China secretly. She knows her mother would never approve of this, but China sure is a charming guy!USA also has a thing for Pakistan and he covertly helps her.Recently, however her friendship with most have dampened. This is because Afghanistan once pranked USA by placing explosive balloons in his locker and together with Arabia, Pakistan silently supported Afghanistan when Afghanistan was suspended. Her constant insult wars with India are also not very image boosting. China, USA and Arabia still remain her friends and within her small circle she is very popular.Pakistan is a dedicated and devoted student. She works hard on improving her grades but in moments of desperation has sometimes cheated on tests as well. Essentially, a person of faith, she prays five times a day and keeps staunch fast during Ramadan. She loves her Biriyani and Tikkas but no matter how much she eats she never gets fat, much to the envy of France. Known to be charming and funny, she is a martial arts expert and an excellent cricketer. Her hijab collection is quite the talk of the fashionistas and she is told to be an immensely resilient person.North KoreaThis guy is paranoid. And self-obsessed.He is more self obsessed than USA, more bossy than China and has Dunning-Kruger Effect, which literally means he “suffers from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing [his] cognitive ability as greater than it is.”He has an estranged twin brother, South Korea. They once got into a terrible fight in 8th grade, wherein NK almost killed SK. After this, both of them were separated. Their parents divorced too, the father siding with SK and the mother with NK. After the divorce, NK has had three stepfathers, each one worse than the last, with all three of them influencing him very negatively.Due to his Dunning-Kruger Effect and self obsession, he struts around throwing weight even though nobody gives a rat’s ass about him. All of SK’s friends hate him. He has a long history of rivalry, or more accurately unrequited loathing to USA . The only person who, even though very rarely, acknowledges him with a curt nod is China.Despite his bucket-list of character defects, he is moderately smart in science and is extremely hardworking. However nobody notices this, as it pales in comparison to his disgusting superiority complex.Recently, his narcissism became insufferable and he began getting a lot hate messages slipped into his locker and lot of hate texts and DMs. Unable to tolerate this he sealed up his locker, broke his cellphone, quit from social media and internet and pulled himself into a shell of isolation and depression. He began to spend his days brooding in the back seat jealously looking at SK. He started calling SK and other names and started throwing threats at USA. Seeing that nobody takes him seriously, in 10th grade, he dropped out of High School and now is being home-schooled by his third and his personal favorite stepfather.EDIT 2: Thank you for the 120k views and 5k upvotes! You guys are awesome! Love. I’ll post other countries as soon as possible. Also, as many of you have commented/messaged, do you think I should write it down as a book?

A trade war, by nature, is transitory in nature. It would mean short to medium-term effects which are fairly hard to predict.No Trade War YetDespite the insults and threats from the United States Administration, there isn't really a trade war yet. Principally, there are the steel and aluminum tariffs placed on the United States against Canada and some other countries. These don't seem to have been catastrophic for Canada. Rather, we see various American industries and American consumers suffer.The principal American threat against Canada had been to impose auto tariffs on Canadian-built vehicles. During the recent hearings in Washington, virtually all presentations from various American industrial groups stated that these would be a really bad idea. What we are seeing now is that the Trump Administration can be made to back down. Donald Trump dropped his threat to impose punitive tariffs against European Union vehicles, in exchange for rather vague promises from Jean-Claude Juncker for talks and more purchases of American soybeans and liquid natural gas. Of course, we have no idea whether President Trump will see the various articles, discussing how he was tricked by a suave European with some flash cards, wake up at 3:00 A.M. in a rage, and Twitter out his repudiation of the whole agreement. We shall see, but more likely he will not do anything that acknowledges that he was taken for a ride.Other than aluminum and steel, we have seen various threats from the Trump Administration, not yet carried out. It appears that the one that would most damage Canada is to impose the threatened car tariffs. However, Canadian auto manufacturing relies to a large extent on parts made in the USA. Like aluminum and steel, the USA risks another shoot yourself in the foot situation.Other than that, what other specific retaliations can the USA use, during trade negotiations, to encourage Canada to become more docile? Since President Trump is infuriated by Canada's dairy supply management system, perhaps he could ban all imports of Canadian dairy products, for national security reasons. Even if he could convince Congress and the World Trade Organization, Canadian dairy exports to the USA are small. The USA exports much more dairy production to the USA than vice versa. So, Canada reciprocates and bans US dairy imports. So, what happens then?The generic United States threat against Canada, so a sort of a trade talk war, is to cancel NAFTA. This is what Donald Trump had promised his base. Instead, the United States Administration is clearly loath to do that. They may have hoped that by, “coming out swinging”, with a series of threats and actions, Mexico and Canada would “fold” fairly quickly, leaving the Trump Administration to declare an unconditional win, well before the United States mid-term elections. It didn't work. The talks have become lengthy and drawn out. There have been endless statements, endless time lines, but nothing has come. The current narrative is that a new NAFTA agreement can be arranged by the end of August, still satisfying the ninety day requirement for debate in Congress before a vote. However, the major issues around NAFTA, a sunset clause, a dispute settlement mechanism, a car manufacturing agreement much more favourable to the USA, haven't begun to be resolved. Since these are all American demands, the USA would have to do as it did with the European Union, a major “fold” in order to secure that agreement. Perhaps this could happen, in which case, the trade war that the USA attempted to initiate, is more or less resolved.None of this is to minimize the negative effects of the uncertainty that result from these prolonged negotiations. These will cause the Canadian economy some damage. However, it will be virtually impossible to quantify. We do not know how many investment decisions will be put off or how many Canadian manufacturing plants and service producers will be transferred elsewhere.After The “War”Perhaps this question could be usefully rephrased as “How will the end results of a trade war with the US affect Canadians?”We can only look at a couple of scenarios. It is much too early to speak with confidence.Canada Pulls Out Some Flash Cards And Smiles A Lot, So Do The Mexicans, The USA FoldsThis is starting to seem like a real possibility. The United States Administration and the Republican Party begin to see the NAFTA negotiations as a swamp and a potentially serious humiliation. They get frustrated with declaiming about the evil of Quebec cows, while our negotiators sit there looking urbane and sophisticated. Then we bring out the big guns, Canada bores them comatose, with a National Film Board at its peak, black and white documentary, about the dairy farmers of Quebec wearing berets and being traditional, to the tune of folkloric fiddle music. The Mexicans pull out some flash cards and a blackboard, and explain to the American negotiators, we really love you, but there are so many things we could buy from Argentina and China. We and the Mexicans make all kinds of vague promises about being nice and not allowing ourselves to have better haircuts then the President. There it is, NAFTA renewed. We Canadians all go back to sleep. If they really want to, the Americans can continue their dispute with the Chinese way of life.America Crashes OutIn an Answer yesterday, I suggested that the American national predicament is starting to look like the British, tail-chase, Brexit debate. During the Brexit referendum a whole lot of British people became convinced that Britain could put their whole, righteous boot into the Europeans, make them fold and release Britain from the continental bear hug, with the United Kingdom winning victorious terms.“Rule Britannia” sounds really good at the Royal Albert Hall, but not so much in international trade negotiations. Like Donald Trump, the British have been outsauved. Putting it in British terms, what Jean-Claude Juncker has said, is, it's our way, or you are stuck on the highway in a twenty kilometre lorry tailback, just outside of Dover. Britain is left with only two choices, forget the autonomy and independence thing and be content with being an overpopulated Norway. Or, crash out and hope you are not doing a national crash dive, straight into the abyss.The USA is not so different. They can either accept a flash card, rather meaningless adjustment to NAFTA, or crash out. In practise, this means giving their six month requisite notice, presumably with an approving Congress dominated by cowardly Republican career politicians, who will vote as they are told.Back To The Canadian FutureUnderneath the obnoxious NAFTA is that old canard, that blast from the past, Canada-US Free Trade Agreement. Strip off that ugly NAFTA sediment and there it is, no longer entombed. So there is no clean slate.At this point, the United States Congress is going to have to decide whether to continue the Trumpian denial of a basic American reality. Canada is insignificant. Any American who gives Canada serious attention is violating their own pride. Canada is the quasi-autonomous frozen backwater of lumberjacks, igloo dwellers, butch hockey players, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in those cute red uniforms and other folkloric irrelevances. America has wasted far too much time on that place already, when we could have been palling it up with Vladimir. Let us use that old free trade agreement to sweep Canada back where it belongs, under the rug. So, us Canadians can forget about trade diversification, and, go back to sleep.They Wanted Us To Go To Bilateral Negotiations, And We Say, No, No, No!No nice, old, sweep Canada, Canada-US Free Trade Agreement! Congress has to cancel it out. The toadies of the House of Representatives and the Senate of course comply. And then the American demand. A bilateral agreement, with a sunset clause, no dispute resolution mechanism, and your dairy farmers had better loose those berets and those damned Celtic fiddles.So, what's a Canadian to do? This is worse than Canada's 1950's relationship with the relatively pleasant Dwight D. Eisenhower. This type of agreement is a total, political loser. If Justin Trudeau so much as thinks about it, then he might as well hand over his office keys to Andrew Scheer.So, no trade war, just a partial trade void. Why partial? Canada has tentative trade agreements under the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP) and the Canada-European Union Comprehensive Economic and Trade Agreement (CETA). But won't Canada's trade with the United States come to a grinding halt? No, the WTO rules will apply. Much of Canada's trade with the USA is innocuous, to the point where the forget Canada principle fully applies. Maybe our Canadian dollar will sink a few pennies, enough to wipe out the effect of the generally not very high WTO-rules tariffs. Canada's automobile industry shrinks, as it has been for a while, but it does not crash out of existence. Toyota, Hyundai, and maybe a few European companies pick up American Big Three company car plants in Canada at bargain basement, distress prices. Canada accepts that their building cars here relies on accepting cheap parts from the developing world. Manufacturing continues for the Canadian market, and, for high end models, where labour costs are not such an issue, for other markets as well.Canada gets a forced crashed out that it didn't want. But, we get the autonomy and independence back, even though we weren't looking for it. The Public Service of Canada is slow and inefficient, but very, very used to drudgery. Canada examines its tariffs and tariff exemptions, product by product, service by service. The federal government chats with the provinces, are there any particular American imports that really are preventing Canada's economic growth? Do we have tariffs on products and services from other countries, that we really don't need? Canada does its own trimming in an independent process, without the USA having trade agreements that they can cancel. Canada identifies alternative foreign suppliers for products we have been importing from the USA. Canada cuts deals, big, moderate and small, with foreign governments here and there.There will be a dislocation, transitional period, but for a certain period of time only. Canada is a business as usual country. Canada does not go around, accusing foreign dairy farmers of wearing berets. Canada does not consider importing foreign lawnmowers, toasters, men's socks, HDTV's, vacuum cleaners, game software, etc., a dire threat to our national security. It is just doing business. It's just stuff at the big box store, stuff you buy on the Internet. Our cows continue to moo, we eat our own cheese, as well as the really classy French stuff that shows up at your local supermarket, because our CETA agreement gives the beret dairy farmers of France, more slack to import Brie to us.It takes two side to make a war. As I have said before, I think a lot of Canadians understand where to put their passion and aggression, that is, at the sports bars and the Internet hookup sites of our great nation.Maybe Donald Trump sees foreign trade as an American national pride pageant. But, Canadians want their public servants to drudge our foreign trade out, 8:30 A.M. to 4:30 P.M, weekdays, in and near downtown Ottawa. Those public servants will, including time for coffee breaks and the Monday morning warm-up chat about what you did at the cottage this past weekend.Martin Levine

Well, I've lived in Europe, and they could quite possibly see it that way. But, what part of Europe are we talking about? And, what age group, what social class and with what personal interests? Is the United Kingdom part of Europe? Maybe, for the purposes of this question, not so much.I would like to qualify this Question though. If a European says that Canada is boring, why are they assessing anything in Canada at all? Like anywhere else in the world, in Europe, Canada has a rather low profile. What is your European talking about, a causal impression, they visit here, they have to do business here, or they immigrate?Also, Quebec and the so-called “The Rest of Canada” don't present the same environments. A francophone visitor might think Montreal is pretty neat, but find Toronto insufferable. I am not familiar with the inner dynamics of what makes Quebec people and places interesting or boring. I will talk about TROC.Common European Non-Boring EnvironmentsSome of the most interesting and exciting human environments exist where the population is fairly dense. A lot of Europe is very densely populated compared to Canada. And, the cities tend to be rather compact, or at least have much higher population densities than Canadian cities.These cities tend to be walkable. They have dense and frequent public transport networks. The cities often have large areas of low-rise apartment buildings with shopping on the ground floor. You can walk to places along streets with a lot of other pedestrians. You see an awful lot of faces and different people. In your own neighbourhood you can walk in and out of stores a lot. A cinema wouldn't necessarily be far away, maybe not even a symphony orchestra, a park with a pavilion, a casino, a brothel (I am not being facetious. I lived in Vienna. In some neighbourhoods they were a local facility.), an amusement park, etc.European cities that didn't experience a lot of bomb and artillery damage during the wars have a range of different architecture, covering a few hundred years. The Europeans are diligent about preserving them. There is a lot to see. These cities have cultural buildings and facilities that have been built up over 1,000 or so years. The Europeans aren't tourists in their own country, but they tend to know and appreciate what they have got.The countryside in many of the European countries is also densely populated. And, where war damage did not destroy everything, there is a lot of history, a lot of old buildings and churches. The distance to a major city isn't for the most part far, so even rural people have relatively good access to the urban amenities.And, the climate anywhere south of Scandinavia and west of Poland, or south of the Alps, is mild. You can go around and do stuff most days of the year. Blizzards are rare or non-existent and your car isn't going to freeze up on an evening out, without a plugged-in block heater. (Actually, since the distances are short, and parking is tough, people tend to take public transport or a taxi.)And, cultural variety isn't hard to get. Most of the European countries are small. It is not a big project to get from one country to the next, sometimes even on a day trip basis.Europe sticks well down into the warm Mediterranean region. This means relatively easy vacation access to warm vacation beaches. If you are travelling from one Euro-denominated country to another (Eg. Germany and France or the Netherlands to Spain, Italy, Malta, the Adriatic coast and Greece.), there isn't even any exchange rate issue. There are very reasonably-priced air charters to get you to the fun places, or you can drive on very good roads. (So, for example, boot it, and you can drive from Prague to coastal Croatia in a day.) And, frankly, there are lots of opportunities to see a variety of nude co-Europeans, and, in morality not being so much of an issue places like Ibiza, nighttime at the beach is an invitation to public intercourse. (Actually, even in a place like Vienna there are in town nude beaches on the Danube, lots of very pale naked people, sunning themselves alongside the bridges over the river)So, What Is The Problem With CanadaA European can be shocked by the geographic size of Canada, the thin population base, and the immense distances from place to place. From their point of view, it can even take a long time or a high cost to get anywhere that looks a lot different. (How far is Toronto from anything comparable to the Alps?) For people who are used to a lot of human interest and easy changes of scene, this can feel very dull.And, the cities of TROC can be startlingly homogeneous. There wasn't any real equivalent in Europe, to the massive building boom in what were previously small Canadian cities, the started in the 1950's and carried on. Europe did not produce the characteristic, very tightly planned, low density, car reliant, sprawl suburbs that are now virtually the core of TROC life. This can make large areas of Canadian cities look very uniform and very bland. And, car-based life is isolating life. A suburban residential street in a Canadian city can look almost abandoned.Conversely, Canadian city cores can look very, very dead. There is still that, “Roll up the streets at 5:00 PM” phenomenon. A European wandering the streets of some place like Ottawa, of an evening (Not a necessarily an uncommon situation after the semi-mandatory tour of the Parliament Buildings) is not going to see outdoor cafes, interesting little boutiques, baroque concert halls, not a lot of tree-lined grand boulevards (Would anyone say that University Avenue in Toronto has a human scale?), not very much except firmly locked up office buildings, surface parking lots, and high rise apartment buildings here and there. Let us face it, in a place like downtown Ottawa, the hottest evening attraction is probably the Shopper's Drug Mart that stays open until 10:00 PM.Tightly, Tightly Organized, Very Rule Observant And Kind of UptightRules matter in Canada, a lot. You will not put up flashing signs. You will not have ground floor shopping on the buildings of residential streets. Your bar will close at 2:00 AM, sharp. (European cities don't necessarily have bar closing hours or liquor inspectors. The bars will tend to serve until the customers go home. Food hygiene inspections are tough though.) Any business to do with sex is tightly zoned and regulated, or preferably, not allowed. You will not build any type of house or any other structure without the local NIMBY community getting to take a good shot at stopping you.Peace, Order And Good GovernmentThat is, officially, Canada. The peaceable kingdom.As I have said in other Answers, much of English-speaking Canada has a Methodist/Presbyterian tradition, which never did have strong counterparts in mainland Europe.(Roman Catholicism, Lutheranism, and the Orthodox churches predominate in Europe. The Netherlands seems to have worked very hard at putting the Dutch Reformed Church behind them, and, would you really call contemporary Switzerland, Calvinist?) And, there was a surprisingly comfortable rollover from that tradition into the political correctness boom. (So, A Canadian woman in 1955, “Men are beasts and they only want one thing from a woman”, and, in 2019, in modernized feminist language, “Men are beasts and they only want one thing from a woman.”) Visiting European men, be careful when you approach Canadian women almost anywhere, except maybe a nightclub for twenty-year olds, and you are the same.Throw in an inherited stiff upper lip, and the emotional exhaustion of trying not to freeze to death, and TROC culture is not one of the more expressive cultures in the world. An immigrant might say that a mainstream, Canadian English-speaker may have to be dug out. (Unless maybe it is a Canadian from your own ethnocultural group, or another culture with rich hand signal and talk loud traditions.)But, maybe Canadian ideas about fun and amusement are also, just very different. Some of us from Winnipeg might say, here is your backyard barbecue, thoroughly mosquito-sprayed on one of our precious warm evenings in July. What more do you need then steaks on the barbecue, some twenty-four packs of Blue (beer), and, if you are really lucky, you have a wife/girlfriend? You may be utterly middle class, but what could create more bliss than watching a National Hockey League game in a sports bar?Some of the European countries have social class conflict traditions that produce disorder, but a certain amount of stimulus as ideas and political parties fight each other out. Canada? As our current federal government says, all Canadians are middle class, or want desperately to be. We all know, there is no class conflict here. The barbecue and sports bar for all!So, Should A Transferred European Despair?As some very famous Europeans said, “Take a chance on me”. If you want to find the non-boring side of human Canada, you may have to take the initiative. For example, tell a Canadian that you are very impressed with how Canada is so much not like the USA, and you may find yourself immediately with a very good friend, ready to tell you their intimacies.Because Canada is one of the world's biggest not-known countries, a European who expects to come here, will do well to do a lot of research. A lot of the most interesting arts and interactions operate on small, local scales, poetry, music, theatre, local music on bar stages, presentations of indigenous culture, interesting local neighbourhoods (For example, Winnipeg does have a stretch of street with outdoor cafes, when it isn't freezing.), and yes, even swinger and kink groups.And, Canada does have lesser known places, that are off the tourist track, but inform you about the country's natural and human environments. Since I am from the Prairies, I can cite some of them that are the most familiar to me, the Cypress Hills, the Drumheller badlands, Manitoba's Riding Mountain, and its lake beaches, among them, Grand and Winnipeg Beaches. Winnipeg has an historic exchange district. In Ontario, I would suggest the City of Kingston, and, the north shore of Lake Erie.Are you immigrating? As a South African emigree once told me, a common joke among her and the other RSA expats was, “Why did the Canadian cross the road, to get to the middle!”. Some immigrants stay within their own ethnocultural communities all their lives. Enough weddings, bar mitzvahs, and visiting performers from the old country, and life is not so boring. But, if you go to live in a car suburb, expect life to be quiet.I think successful immigrants to Canada adjust their expectations. I have said in another Answer, many Canadians cultivate their own secret, emotional and human garden. You may need to do it too. Don't be put off by your first impressions of dull-seeming Canadians. TROC Canadians do not tend to be upfront. It takes time and effort to find out what is really going on.Martin Levine