In The Matter Of The Guardianship Of Notice Of Hearing For: Fill & Download for Free

I married my wife on July 13, 1974. We barely had the pot to piss in or the window to throw it out of. I came from a wealthy family and my wife from a poor family. My adopted parents hated my wife and did their damnedest to destroy my marriage. (Never worked.)Finances are probably the greatest cause of marriages falling apart than anything else, and I think it is probably higher than infidelity.Young couples do not stop to think their married life will have speed bumps and potholes. They want to believe their marriage should be based upon how much money they make. I feel sorry for them if they think that way.My wife and I were never wealthy. We lived paycheck to paycheck. We raised our children on what we had. My children seem to think they can draw from mommy and daddy and they got pissed off when we said NO.Our daughter got pregnant at 17 and had a little boy. He was our first grandchild. Soon we noticed he was not verbal. He was 2 when he was diagnosed as having ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Our daughter gave her mother and me Powers of Attorney over him because she did not want to deal with him. When he was 7 we discovered he was deaf. She immediately decided to put him up for adoption. We said NO. If she didn’t want him, then we would take him, and she gave us full-guardianship of him and gave up all rights to him. He is now 17, a junior in high school, and attends a great school for the deaf in Riverside, CA. After never being exposed to ASL, he is now about 85% fluent in it after 2 1/2 years. I am adopting him when he turns 18, in 2020.Now, to some that would have ended a marriage. Yet, it made my marriage to my wife stronger. We were doing what was right together. I’m not going to say our life was perfect, far from it. Yet, we knew the most important thing in our marriage, WAS our marriage. Nothing else mattered.If you have read many of my posts, I had to bury being gay for most of my life. My adopted mother viciously outed me to my wife, to destroy my marriage. My wife and I did have an argument over it. Yet, when she saw the scars on my body and understood I had never acted on it during our marriage, and I was not about to start, we worked through it. Now, in previous posts, some have asked about us having sex. My wife, after our children were born had PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease), it made it very painful for us to have sex. But marriage shouldn’t be based upon sex. Sex is only the icing on the cake.I was always faithful to my wife, no matter what. In 2011, my wife developed severe wounds on her feet. Mind you, she was a diabetic. For the next 4 years, I would learn from a wound care facility on how to bind her wounds between clinic visits. I stayed with her through everything. Even when her wounds spread up her legs and we battled MRSA and flesh-eating disease. She was in horrible pain. I held her when she cried. I learned how to clean her up when she soiled herself.On Feb. 3, 2015, I awoke to hear her breathing change. I cradled her in my arms, caressed her face, told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her. I got to kiss her one last time while she was alive. She died at 9:54 a.m. I had been married to this beautiful lady for 40 years, 9 months and 19 days.In all that time, I never broke one vow. I was with her through everything, and I would do it again. After she died, I did openly come out gay. Even so, I have no one in my life right now. I’m still hurting from her death.Do you want to know how to keep a marriage together? Realize that money is not everything. You work together. If you hit a financial pothole, you do what you can, with what you have, and you start filling in the hole.There is the story of the old farmer whose mule fell down a well. He figured the mule was going to die so he started filling in the well with dirt. With every bucket of earth, the mule would tamp it down with his feet. Soon the dirt was high enough he could jump out.Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter said: “When life seems the most dark, one only must remember to turn on the light.”That is my philosophy for how to keep a marriage together.

He was horrid.Both girls spent their lives in-and-out of his favor, trying to dance to his tune and keep his approval and not be punished by banishment.Princess Mary, his first daughter had a golden early childhood in which she was the cherished "pearl" of her father's kingdom, Mary's life was thrown into misery when Anne Boleyn entered the picture and her father sought an annulment from her mother. Mary refused to accept her father's position on the divorce, or as head of the church. She believed denying the authority of the pope was tantamount to denying Catholicism as a whole, and accepting that her parents had never been married was a lie that would damn her soul. Mary was exiled from court, separated from her beloved mother and refused permission to see her, even as Katharine lay dying.In 1533, after Princess Elizabeth was born, Henry decided to break Princess Mary's stubborn pride by forcing Mary to serve the infant sister who had supplanted her. Mary's previous guardian, Countess Margaret Pole, was dismissed, and Lady Shelton appointed in her place. Sir John Shelton was placed in charge of Princess Elizabeth's household.Katharine was convinced this change in guardianship meant she and Mary would soon be martyred. She wrote to Mary, one of the last letters Mary ever received from her mother, and essentially told her to prepare for death.Daughter,I heard such tidings today that I do perceive if it be true, the time is come that Almighty God will prove you; and I am very glad of it, for I trust He doth handle you with a good love. I beseech you agree of His pleasure with a merry heart; and be sure that, without fail, He will not suffer you to perish if you beware to offend Him. I pray you, good daughter, to offer yourself to Him. If any pangs come to you, shrive yourself; first make you clean; take heed of His commandments, and keep them as near as He will give you grace to do, for then you are sure armed. And if this lady [Anne Shelton] do come to you as it is spoken, if she do bring you a letter from the King, I am sure in the self same letter you shall be commanded what you shall do. Answer with few words, obeying the King, your father, in everything, save only that you will not offend God and lose your own soul; and go no further with learning and disputation in the matter. And wheresoever, and in whatsoever company you shall come, observe the King’s commandments. Speak you few words and meddle nothing.[...]And now you shall begin, and by likelihood I shall follow. I set not a rush by it; for when they have done the uttermost they can, than I am sure of the amendment. I pray you, recommend me unto my good lady of Salisbury, and pray her to have a good heart, for we never come to the kingdom of Heaven but by troubles.Daughter, whatsoever you come, take no pain to send unto me, for if I may, I will send to you.Your loving mother,Katharine the Queen.Lady Shelton was instructed to treat Mary harshly to try to induce the girl to capitulate and admit her parents' marriage was invalid and she was a bastard. Some historians claim it was Anne urging this cruelty, but considering it only increased after her death, it doesn't seem the blame can be laid at her feet. Henry was the final authority, and Henry was not a weak-willed man henpecked into mistreating his daughter as some writers suggest.It was a duty Lady Shelton performed with great reluctance, but she enforced the rules that had been laid down for Lady Mary. Mary's health was always precarious and she was prone to stress-induced illness. It wasn't long after the new regime began that she fell ill again.Mary would not eat in the dining hall because her plate was placed with the maids, and Elizabeth was given the seat of honor as princess. Mary took her meals in her rooms until Lady Shelton was instructed to put a stop to it and force Mary eat in the hall at her assigned place. Mary wouldn't concede. She might be forced to sit there, but she refused to eat.As ridiculous to us as it seems that a girl would literally starve herself rather than eat from a plate that was placed in an unacceptable spot at the table, to Mary, this was a deadly-serious battle for her political future, and her immortal soul.To accept a lower seat at the table was loaded with very real implications. If she accepted it, she was admitting Elizabeth had superior status to Mary, which meant her parents' marriage was invalid, Mary was illegitimate, and her father was - indeed - head of the church instead of the pope. To Mary, it was endorsing a lie, denying her faith and putting her in a state of mortal sin.Mary survived on scraps her few faithful servants smuggled to her after the meal. Surrounded by hostile persons, unable to eat regularly, and under enormous stress, Mary succumbed to illness. Part of it may have been malingering, because while she was in her bed, Mary did not have to capitulate to any slights on her status, but Mary did have legitimate medical issues. She suffered from migraines, indigestion - likely from the rich, fatty, heavily sugared diet of Tudor nobles - insomnia, fevers, depression, and menstrual woes.Lady Shelton summoned an apothecary, and Doctor Butts, Henry's personal physician was sent to examine the girl.Katharine wrote to Eustace Chapuys and begged him to ask the king if she could take care of her daughter, certain she knew what it would take it make Mary well again. In truth, she was probably right. With some loving care, Mary probably would have been much better, but the king was unsympathetic.Chapuys reported the encounter to the emperor:He then said there was no great occasion to put the Princess again in the Queen's hands, for it was she who had put it into her head to show such obstinacy and disobedience, as all the world knew; and although sons and daughters were bound to some obedience towards their mothers, their chief duty was to their fathers, and since the Princess could not have much help of the Queen, and it was clear the whole matter proceeded from the latter, she must submit to his pleasure. I did not wish to dispute with him on the subject, but asked that he would at least put the Princess under the care of her old gouvernante, the countess of Salisbury, whom she regarded as her second mother. He replied that the Countess was a fool, of no experience, and that if his daughter had been under her care during this illness she would have died, for she would not have known what to do, whereas her present governess [Lady Shelton] is an expert lady even in such female complaints.Chapuys took it upon himself to warn Lady Shelton what would happen if Mary was poisoned:Long ago I warned her by a third hand of the mischief which might arise to her if anything happened to the said Princess, and I also took care to get the King's physician to tell her that of late there was a common report in London that she had poisoned the said Princess; which put her in terrible fear, so that she can do nothing but weep when the sees the Princess so ill.Whatever Chapuys had Doctor Butts say to her, it must have been very dire to leave the woman in a state of constant weeping. Poor Lady Shelton was afraid to administer any of the apothecary's medicines to Mary, lest the girl die and she be blamed for it.And all the while, Lady Shelton was being urged to treat Mary more harshly to force the girl to capitulate, knowing the harsh treatment was part of what caused Mary's illnesses.Chapuys claims the household servants - who would have been assigned to serve Princess Elizabeth and loyal to Anne Boleyn - were cruel to Mary.Your Majesty may consider what solace and pastime she can have with those about her, hearing them desire her death, by which, they say, the world would be at peace, and they discharged of the pain and trouble they have had about her.The only joy Mary had was the time she spent with the baby. It should have been the perfect recipe for resentment - this baby could have been blamed for all ofher misery, but Mary adored Princess Elizabeth and spent hours playing with her, singing to her, and sewing little dresses for her.Several months later, there was still discussion of Mary's health, and Chapuys reported that Henry decided to go to Mary's residence to check on the issue himself.[Mary] was very ill on the 14th of this month of her usual illness, and the physicians for that day and the two following were in great doubt. On the second day I sent to request Cromwell that he would send someone to see her, and intercede with the King to do the same, assuring him it would be the best medicine she could receive. He did not fail to inform the King, who made answer to me through him that he would see after his daughter as a father should, and that next day, the 19th, he would leave Hampton Court for Greenwich. This he did, and arrived at Greenwich about 2 p.m., where he remained till after the middle of next day.He enquired of the gouvernante and other women about the Princess of her health. He made no enquiry of the Queen's physician nor would he speak with his own. But the said physician made bold to speak to him of the Princess's illness, reporting it as dangerous if not seen to in time.The King, for his pains, told him he was not loyal to him, and that all he said was in behalf of the Princess's desire to go to her mother; but he would take good care not to send her thither, for, the Queen being so haughty in spirit, she might, by favor of the Princess, raise a number of men, and make war, as boldly as did queen Elizabeth (Isabella) her mother.There was no thought of the King seeing the said Princess or sending her a word of consolation. On the contrary, word was sent by her gouvernante that he had no worse enemy in the world than her, and that she was the cause of mischief to the greater number of Christian princes, and the King declared publicly that her conduct was calculated to encourage conspiracy against himImagine Lady Shelton having to deliver that message!Chapuys may have had his own agenda in exaggerating Mary's health concerns. On the exact same day, he wrote to Antoine Perrenot de Granvelle, one of the Emperor's advisors:The Princess is well, better than some would have her. She may be called the paragon of beauty, goodness and virtue.Mary's will was iron, and it frustrated everyone. Anne Boleyn wrote angry letters to Lady Shelton about it, and at one point, Lady Shelton herself said in exasperation that if she were the king, she would throw Mary out of the house for her attitude. But for the most part, she tried to treat her charge with respect. It is recorded at one point, the Duke of Northumberland chastised Lady Shelton for her lenient treatment of Mary. Lady Shelton retorted that even if Mary were only the bastard of a poor gentleman, she deserved honor and good treatment for her goodness and virtues.Lady Shelton is commonly accused of treating Mary poorly in general, egged on by Anne Boleyn, but Chapuys sometimes paints a different picture. After Katharine died in January, 1536, Anne Boleyn tried to make peace, and Lady Shelton did her utmost to urge Mary to accept it.The Concubine, according to what the Princess sent to tell me, threw the first bait to her, and caused her to be told by her aunt, the gouvernante of the said Princess, that if she would lay aside her obstinacy and obey her father, she would be the best friend to her in the world and be like another mother, and would obtain for her anything she could ask, and that if she wished to come to Court she would be exempted from holding the tail of her gown, "et si la meneroit tousjours a son cause"; and the said gouvernante does not cease with hot tears to implore the said Princess to consider these matters; to which the Princess has made no other reply than that there was no daughter in the world who would be more obedient to her father in what she could do saving her honor and conscience.The "hot tears" Chapuys describes implies a lot of emotion on Lady Shelton's part, and I doubt it was all from anger or frustration. She seems to have genuinely cared for Mary. She even agreed to allow Chapuys' servant in to see Mary, though she had been expressly forbidden to do so without a note or other token from the king. Mary, however, refused to see him because she had not gotten permission.Soon afterward, Lady Shelton received a letter from Anne Boleyn telling her to cease with the pressure on Mary. Chapuys reports that Mary found the letter in the oratory, took it to copy, and then returned it before she was discovered. Chapuys wonders in his report if it was a ruse, but relates a copy of Anne's words in his own letter.Mrs. Shelton, my pleasure is that you do not further move the lady Mary to be towards the King's Grace otherwise than it pleases herself. What I have done has been more for charity than for anything the King or I care what road she takes, or whether she will change her purpose, for if I have a son, as I hope shortly, I know what will happen to her; and therefore, considering the Word of God, to do good to one's enemy, I wished to warn her before hand, because I have daily experience that the King's wisdom is such as not to esteem her repentance of her rudeness and unnatural obstinacy when she has no choice. By the law of God and of the King, she ought clearly to acknowledge her error and evil conscience if her blind affection had not so blinded her eyes that she will see nothing but what pleases herself. Mrs. Shelton, I beg you not to think to do me any pleasure by turning her from any of her wilful courses, because she could not do me [good] or evil; and do your duty about her according to the King's command, as I am assured you do.If Mary thought this was light at the end of the tunnel, she was sadly mistaken. A few months later, Anne Boleyn was arrested on charges of adultery and treason, and sent to the Tower. Lady Shelton was summoned to be one of the women assigned to serve Anne during her imprisonment.Mary probably believed the abuse would end now that Anne was gone, but she soon learned that it had come from her father all along. The shock of that realization probably had a lot to do with her finally breaking down under her father's relentless bullying. She submitted to him, but their relationship was never the same.Princess Elizabeth was only two years and eight months old when her mother, Anne Boleyn, died on the scaffold. Anne had provided for her daughter as best she could in the last days of her reign, buying clothing for her - the last Elizabeth would receive for a long while.EElizabeth last saw her mother in January 1536, after the celebrations for Katharine of Aragon’s death. Anne’s expense reports show that Elizabeth was at her own household by January 18. Though Elizabeth would later be told a tale of Anne Boleyn, clasping her baby in her arms and pleading with Henry right before her arrest in May, the story is unlikely to be true.Elizabeth was cared for by Sir John and Lady Shelton, along with her governess, Lady Bryan. Lady Shelton was the sister of Anne’s father, and though they shared no emotional affection, she trusted that Lady Shelton would take good care of her baby. And her faith seems to have been well-placed. Though Lady Shelton had been instructed by the king’s council to treat Princess Mary harshly, Lady Shelton stood up to them and insisted that Mary was so virtuous she deserved to be treated with honor and respect.After Anne was slain, it seems no one told the child of her mother’s death. But the little girl was too intelligent and perceptive not to notice the changes to her lifestyle and the title by which she was addressed. Legend has it Sir John was the one she asked about it."How hath it, yesterday my Lady Princess, and today but my Lady Elizabeth?"It’s not recorded how Elizabeth reacted to the news. She probably had little emotional attachment to her mother - in her little mind Anne was a nice woman Elizabeth saw on occasion who sent her presents. Lady Bryan was probably the one to whom Elizabeth was most attached. But Lady Bryan was suffering her own loss at the moment, as her husband died only a month after Anne Boleyn went to the scaffold. It must have been a very frightening and confusing time for the toddler.Cromwell had apparently visited Elizabeth’s lodgings after her mother’s fall to give instructions to her household, but there was some confusion amongst the staff about the little ex-princess’s rank, and thus what level of respect she was to be accorded.Worse, no income had been allotted for Lady Elizabeth’s personal needs, and the child had outgrown all of the clothing her mother had made for her before her death. In a letter from August, 1536, Lady Bryan begs Cromwell for help.. . . My lord, when your lordship was last here, it pleased you to say, that I should not mistrust the king’s grace, nor your lordship. , Which word was more comfort to me than I can write, as God knoweth. And now it boldeneth me to show you my poor mind. [...]Now, so it is, my lady Elizabeth is put from that degree she was afore; and what degree she is at now, I know not but by hearsay. Therefore I know not how to order her, nor myself, nor none of hers that I have the rule of; that is, her women and her grooms. Beseeching you to be good lord to my lady and to all hers; and that she may have some rayment. For she hath neither gown, nor kirtle, nor petticoat, nor no manner of linen, nor foresmocks, nor kerchiefs, nor sleeves, nor rails, nor body-stitchets, nor mufiiers, nor biggins. All these, her grace’s mostake [”must take” or needs] I have driven off as long as I can, that by my troth, I cannot drive it no longer. Beseeching you, my lord, that you will see that her grace may have that is needful for her,as my trust is ye will do;—that I may know from you by writing how I shall order myself; and what is the king’s grace’s pleasure and yours, that I shall do in every thing.About two weeks later, Sir John wrote back to Cromwell:I perceive by your letter the King's pleasure that my lady Elizabeth shall keep her chamber and not come abroad, and that I shall provide for her as I did for my lady Mary when she kept her chamber. Have me in remembrance for the King's warrant you commanded me to deliver to Master Wrisley for money for the household, otherwise I cannot continue it.Henry seems to have taken out his ill feelings toward Anne Boleyn on their daughter, just as he had once done with Princess Mary. But in Elizabeth’s case, he could not justify it by pointing to his daughter’s willfulness. Elizabeth was an innocent toddler who had done nothing to “deserve” her father’s neglect of her most basic needs.Henry’s purpose in confining Elizabeth to her chambers was the same reason he’d ordered Mary into isolation: to keep people from seeing her and hoping she would disappear from the public eye. Poor, friendless, forgotten, Elizabeth would be no competition for the children Henry was sure he would father with Jane Seymour.The next time Elizabeth would see her father would be at Christmas, 1536. Mary, restored to her father’s favor through Jane Seymour’s efforts, sat at the high table with him; Elizabeth was seated somewhere out of sight.Throughout Elizabeth’s childhood, she was in and out of favor with her father, and it would be Henry’s queens who took pity on her and urged Henry toward grudging kindness to the child. When Anna von Kleefes wanted to bring Elizabeth to court, Henry cited Anne Boleyn as a reason against it, saying Elizabeth had a mother so different from Anna that she shouldn’t want Elizabeth around, but Anna insisted.Elizabeth made Henry uncomfortable. Every time he saw Elizabeth’s dark eyes, did he think of Anne Boleyn?Katheryn Howard made a great effort for Elizabeth because of their blood ties, seating Elizabeth across from her at the dinner table. But it was Kateryn Parr who would prove to be Elizabeth’s greatest ally.But even that went awry. After a lifetime of neglect, Elizabeth had found a kindred soul in her stepmother Kateryn Parr, and it should have been the happiest time of her life. Kateryn not only gave Elizabeth the maternal love she craved, she also encouraged the girl’s brilliant young mind with stellar educational opportunities. Elizabeth flourished in her care.Unfortunately, Kateryn fell in love with a monster. She wasn’t the first woman to ever fall for an abusive man’s charms, and God knows she wouldn’t be the last, but hers was a mistake that would have dire consequences for her stepdaughter.Thomas Seymour started grooming Elizabeth from the moment the girl fell under his power, manipulating her and slowly escalating his advances. The arrogant ass was trying to hedge his bets in case Kateryn died in childbirth. He thought he could make Elizabeth fall in love with him and she’d throw caution to the winds and defy her brother and the council to be with him, just as Kateryn had done. Seymour seriously underestimated Elizabeth.I don’t believe Elizabeth ever had any “romantic” feelings for Seymour. She’d once had affection for him, I think. This man was her stepfather, and at first, he’d been good to her, but his teasing became more serious as time went by and it started making her very uncomfortable. Elizabeth didn’t want to believe badly of Seymour. At first, she probably tried to explain away and justify his behavior - until it became too egregious for her to ignore. Seymour probably also hinted to her that she shouldn’t “upset” Kateryn, whose health was in question because of her pregnancy anyway.He was clever. He covered his tracks by having Kateryn participate in some of the early “games.” Then, when she objected to his later conduct, he could pretend to be offended and shocked that she would would see it as nefarious. “Why, you were there! You know it was all innocent!” He probably tried to tell her it was her pregnancy making her so jealous and irrational. And, like many disgusting creatures of his ilk, he probably tried to blame his abuse on the victim.Kateryn was in a very difficult position. She was in love with this man, and she didn’t want to believe he could do this evil thing, but she kept clear sight of the fact that her first duty was protecting her stepdaughter. She had been taught since birth to obey the men in her life, so it couldn’t have been easy to defy her husband and send Elizabeth away. Seymour had to be enraged, and you know he had to have poured the pressure on his wife not to let his victim escape his grasp, but Kateryn held firm. She deserves some credit for that.The testimony afterward noted the steps Elizabeth took to try to avoid Seymour’s little “games” such as rising extra early to avoid him climbing into her bed, and running into a group of maidens when he approached to try to shield herself. Of course she “blushed and stammered” when people asked her about it. It was embarrassing, and Elizabeth was afraid people would think she had encouraged him in some way. She reacted as many abuse victims: with confusion. She likely wasn’t sure it was abuse at first because Seymour had been so careful in his escalations. But by the time Kateryn intervened, Elizabeth was clearly in distress.And so, Elizabeth lost the happiest home she had known, and was later publicly shamed for Seymour’s abuse of her. She had to undergo hours of brutal interrogations as though shewere the criminal. Shortly thereafter, she wrote to her brother to ask him to let her come to court so she could prove she was not pregnant with Seymour’s child, to face down some of the slanderous gossip about her. The courage that would have taken reminds me of her mother’s courage when she, too, was faced with false accusations of immoral conduct. Anne Boleyn walked in to face her accusers with her head held high, and I think Elizabeth would have, too, even if inside she burned with anger and the terribly confused emotions of an abused young girl. Her brother didn’t allow her to come, but he tried to quell the gossip, at least.But it makes me angry on her behalf that anyone could romanticize this situation. She was fourteen, and an intensely pious young girl who adored her stepmother. Elizabeth wanted to spend her time in translating Latin, not being sexually harassed by her stepfather. But there are still those who would typify this as some sort of love affair, and that’s just so wrong on so many levels.When her brother, Edward VI died and Mary came to the throne, she wanted her little sister with her, but it wasn’t to be the warm, family relationship Mary wanted. Elizabeth was Protestant, and thus a rival for Mary’s throne, whether she wanted to be or not. Religion and politics drove them apart.The abuse both girls suffered shaped them into the people they became.

Hello or Assalaam Alaykum,I’m a revert to Islam and I meet my Saudi husband just a few months after converting. I’ve visited Saudi Arabia before and had a balanced, happy, long-standing relationship with my husband before we married. Our relationship was nurtured in the states and he truly become my best friend. Because marriage is so serious, so important, and a life-long commitment, we both wanted to ensure we were making the right decision. We even took a few breaks exploring more natural spousal options. It didn’t matter. We cared too deeply about one another to move forward with anyone else. So, with the permission of his family and mine, we wedded.——Okay.——After I married my husband (started living together and such), I immediately noticed fundamental differences between us. While intelligent in his own right, family-oriented, religious, and cultured, there were many things I didn't realize he didn’t know or expected from me as his wife. Many things I needed to teach him and him me as a Saudi man.Remember that most Saudi’s are here studying on a full scholarship. Most are not working and, perhaps worst, most don't have any work experience. So, I needed to teach my husband things I learned when I was 15 and 16 years old. For example, he didn’t know how to make an resume, cover letter, how to conduct himself for an interview. I also didn’t know his work-ethic since he never worked. This is simple to teach someone, but Saudi’s are very community-oriented. This usually reflects on their own initializes. What I mean is that they usually study together, make big and small decisions together. They are generally collectivist and can be depended on others more than I noticed of westerners. As a plus for Saudi’s, they are generally also dependable in return.While they love to do everything together, it can become draining for a Westerner who generally teaches to help someone become self-sufficient. Think about that.Americans, on the other hand, are generally individualistic.—-Moving on—Saudi men have extreme control over their women. You can notice this if you gain Saudi girlfriends. Although I am muslim, I struggled with my hijab. There were moments in my life while dating my husband, that I completely abandoned it. He never said anything to make me feel bad for it. However, after marriage, he suddenly became more interested in my dress and began to claim support from the religion about being more covered. As a revert, unless you study immensely, you will never be considered on the same level as a born Muslim. So, the arguments for belief goes straight to him.One of my friends, who is a Saudi woman, is the second wife. She has two kids and went on a vacation trip with her husband. When they got back she began showing me photos from her vacation and she mentioned the same thing. Her husband was dictating what she wore so often that it messed up some of the trip for her. Honestly, this happened years before I married my Saudi so I knew my Saudi was different because we dated for so long and he understood my American personality and values. I thought he would never treat to me that way.And, it happened to me.I should move to Saudi Arabia soon and God knows I’m not thrilled. I was thrilled when I went for ummrah. I was thrilled before marriage. But now, I’m pregnant and feeling stuck. So listen to me.—Love—Love is a beautiful thing.It’s a special, rare, and precious thing. In finding love, however, don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget your values and aspects of life that you enjoy—that simply make you happy. Marrying a Saudi is a big cultural change for a western woman. Marrying a western woman is a big cultural change for a Saudi man. Honestly, unless both are willing to do some major compromising it won’t work where both are truly satisfied and happy. In particular, one person needs to be willing to be more of something (such as more Saudi or Western) and that person needs to enjoy that part of themseleves individually.You really don't want to be stuck in a country that you can’t leave because you made the wrong decision. [when you enter Saudi as his wife, he is your guardian, and a woman can’t travel, open a bank account, go to friends ,…etc. without the guardians permission] Oh, and a woman (regardless of age) will always have a male guardian. Currently, my husband’s mom’s guardian(or wali) is her 29 year old son because she divorced their father.Can you imagine always needed to have a wali?—Opinions from Others—Check out Mandi’s website: http://undertheabaya.com. She discusses her choice to marry a Saudi and move to Saudi. She's been there for years and can’t leave as she has a daughter who’s under the guardianship of her ex-husband. Beyond marriage to him she explores life as a American woman living in Saudi Arabia. The comment section is filled with women who are curious about marriage to a Saudi [the process and such] or in similar situations (western women wanting to marry/married to a Saudi).I’m not telling you to just walk away. But, please, please, please. Consider what you will be doing. You’ll be leaving your home country to start a life in Saudi. Oh, also check out Sukkari Life youtube video:She is a Saudi woman who is a bit westernized. So this video can be informal to hear from her. I’ve watched this video. To assist you properly, listen to how she talks about life in Saudi from her personal experience as woman. A lot of her statements are centered around having a more open family who lets her uncover her hair, who lets her go out (travel inside and outside Saudi). Things could be different if they were not so open.—Closing Remarks—I could continue to write, but I know no-one loves to read a comment that much.[hehe]Back to the point—I really hope my comments were insightful to you. I also hope you truly consider what I am facing, what I see my Saudi girlfriends are accustomed to and life in Saudi as a woman. It’s not about asking your Saudi about his thoughts. You really need to experience life with him, as he has with you. The relationship is largely one-sided because he is in your homeland. You need to be in his homeland to create that balance and see if you can live and bring children up in that society.Side-note: idk your nationality but Saudi is largely an Arab state. While you can work with internationals and such, life for children is not as diverse as westerners. I mean that schools (elementary, middle and high school) are mostly Arabs. Children who are mixed can be picked on because of this. Also, the family of your Saudi may naturally be more used to Arabs. See how you fit in before you make a huge step and bring children into this world.:)Peace, love and happiness to you!-xoxo