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Yes. I studied this as a hobby in my late teens and early university days. It’s a psychological phenomenon that tends to be relative to the culture. On average, Eastern and Southern Europeans tend to have a lot more self esteem than Northern and Western Europeans, and Europeans in general have more self esteem than Americans or Canadians.This is because of how different sub groups are raised in their household, as well as the social circle they tend to carry with them throughout their lives.It’s a common cliche and norm to think of a specific range of behaviors typically exhibited by North American elementary and secondary school youth that result in the extreme end of the negative self esteem spectrum of their peers - the school shooting.It’s largely a cultural phenomena. The type of bullying exhibited is different. In North America people that are with low self esteem, and are a disadvantaged group socially in society - fat, ugly, poor, bad teeth, bald, doesn’t shave, short, racial minority in a racist majority locale, etc. tend to be bullied both by friends, family and strangers more so than people who are normal or considered above average in any positive category - including physical attractiveness.When you get bullied in North America, it tends to be a sort of “If I had the chance I’d rape and eat your children” sort of bullying instead of friendly, healthy competition. The viking culture of ignoring one’s children, never hugging them or kissing them or giving them love, and substituting unconditional love for tough love tends to create millions of emotionally, intellectually and mentally damaged people with varying degrees of abnormal neurosis - be it psychopathy, depression, social anxiety, psychosis, paranoia, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc.The thing is it’s not considered a neurosis in North America - it’s considered a culture.But everywhere in the world from South America to Japan it’s considered abnormal human behavior typical of deranged human beings.We tend to rely on North American money so publicly the world does not openly criticize or label North Americans as retarded. Privately, this is the general consensus. North Americans tend to take it very personally when labelled as such, even though most consider their peers to be retarded anyways they will fiercely defend against this public opinion as a sort of farce or cure to this inadequacy, to show that through insults and arguing they are superior.The reason the bullying is so harsh in North America is because North America is known for socially isolating people. Even people who have large social circles feel lonely at times. Again, this is the culture. People tend to be also grouped in relation more to their socio economic status, or career, in terms of an accurate rating of their “sociability”. For example, accountants are known for being introverts. Salesmen are very extroverted by nature. Even lawyers are extroverts, but many people don’t like their personalities. You would hang out more with a salesman over a lawyer as an extrovert, especially if you’ve had a bad experience with a lawyer before.When you get bullied in Europe, depending on which part and what type of bullying, it tends to be more of competitive team spirit since you get support from people as well. Southern and Eastern Europeans tend to be more hospitable and open to friendships than Western or Northern Europeans.And it’s not always the cold climate that makes one distant - Russians are still more friendly towards outsiders than Greeks or Croats, for example.So in essence it’s not a religious or hemisphere or even ethnic grouping trait - Italians are Catholics from the Romance group who tend to be friendlier than Poles who are Slavs or Eastern Europeans, or even Greeks who are Orthodox Christians in a Mediterranean territory.It’s a very complex ranking typically biased not only in comparison to one’s ethnic grouping and what considers to be friendly in contrast to a civilized society(Africans could be friendly but there are parts of Africa a westerner does not consider civilized), but also to one’s own personal experience(Canadians have a reputation for being friendly because Canadians are taught by their system to be civilized and polite, but Canadians themselves will tell you they are not as friendly and benevolent as most of the world thinks they are, if anything in my 18 years of living in Canada and travelling the world I’ve found that Americans are friendlier on average, and New Yorkers are friendlier than Torontonians).Where I come from, despite my pseudonym, is the Balkan peninsula, which tends to have it’s own cultural grouping. Even though it is ethnically, religiously and linguistically diverse in it’s native populations, the Balkans share distinct cultural, social, geographic, climatic, historical, linguistic, religious, mentality based, musical, etc. traits that make them very similar.Even though Albanians and Serbs or Albanians and Macedonians tend to self segregate, there are much more similarities between these two groups than differences.Even though Bulgarians are Cyrillic writing Eastern Orthodox South Slavs who border with the Serbs, they are vastly different in temperament than Serbs, which I believe I read somewhere on multiple occasions for being ranked the friendliest people in the world and in Europe year after year.There are different levels of extreme. In some small towns in Macedonia if you get labelled as something the people will bully you and socially isolate you to the extent you either go crazy or get sick with worry and die, like thousands of people who were a bit different from the rest have.Even though Macedonia is 2nd after Serbia for friendliness and there are even songs such as by Dado Topic on how friendly Macedonia is and how you will never be lonely living there.A lot of times it isn’t just culture that drives different social atmospheres, but the system. In North American large cities people tend to get shuffled around a lot. There are people working close to my place of residence who travel an hour to come and work here, yet live an hour away. And then I who live here close to their place of work has to travel 1 hour close to their place of residence to work.And when millions of people get shuffled as such nobody coincidentally ends up in the same place. The chances are very low, but it happens the smaller the town and the more localized the residents.If there is a place you both frequent more often the likelihood of you seeing them is higher. A simple matter of statistics and probability more so than sociological phenomena..But in the end the more friendly a population, the larger and more open and less cliquish social circles are, and the higher the chance that you will run into somebody you know even in a large city and with different tastes in frequenting locales, than if you were in a small town where people generally ignored you for being an outsider, immigrant or racial minority.North Americans tend to also drive more than Europeans, so even though there are millions of km of sidewalks in North America you will have a higher chance of running into penguins in Antarctica than you would in a person walking on a North American sidewalk.I know it’s a biased representation of my point, but the point still stands.Lastly, how does all of this relate to being ugly?Here’s the kicker: Your economic status, your place of living, even your physical symmetry, does not have much to do by themselves in how physically attractive you are or how highly you think of yourself.It’s all about your social environment. When you yell at a flower, and don’t water it or give it sunshine, it tends to crawl into itself and die.Similarly with people. If you don’t have positive people around you to feed you with positive energy, positive emotions, your brain will start to release toxic chemicals.When a person has sleep apnea, every time they snore their heart pumps out adrenaline because it’s stressing itself out trying to get in oxygen.Adrenaline junkies will tell you about the wear and tear after awhile. Some look for it while others tend to avoid it later on in life.Me, at the age of 26, one can come to 2 conclusions when they spend a few hours in a room with me: 1) I’m an extroverted genius who is still trying to find his place in the world, very positive and the nicest, most humble guy you’ll meet. All my positive traits overshadow all my visible negative quirks. 2) My mind is gone, my nervous system has been broken down, the reason I’m always jumpy, looking over my shoulder, overthinking and sometimes make no sense or have trouble putting a sentence together. A psychiatrist, given the proper information sample by itself, can both diagnose me as somebody who is close to perfection, but not narcissistic, or with PTSD, and therefore a medical anomaly of proper functioning. I was to intrigue psychologists as a troubled kid and I’ve made chins drop from seasoned psychologists who wanted to become my colleagues just so we’d have more to talk about the human mind, and as a case study of what the human mind and body can endure, breaking down and fixing itself again. When the human mind breaks down, it’s extremely difficult to fix it. Even many people who have gone crazy and gone back to normal are visibly damaged. So a mind that has been broken once and has been fixed to the point where it’s difficult to break it down is very rare, but a mind who has been broken multiple times and fixed again to the point of thinking of positive and negative social interactions through the lens of Chris Langan’s CTMU theory, more of a psychological, metaphysical nature, a mere perception of reality, than just through the eyes of a cultural delusion, is almost impossible to find.When a mind breaks down, it’s an extremely useful chance to create something that is very, very resilient out of it. This is why the more stress a person endures, the more we tend to idolize them if they are still sane in the end. The most stressful jobs - soldiers, cops, lawyers, doctors, celebrities, CEO’s, mafia bosses, politicians, where the person is constantly under pressure, the risk is high, the reward is high, and you are surrounded by critics, yet still somehow manage to retain your survivability, let alone your dignity or to function properly, is why we idolize these people and study them or use them as a source of inspiration.A mafia boss has more determination, intellect and spirit driving him than a Fortune 500 CEO, because even though the rewards might be the same financially the risk is much higher for the mafia boss than the Fortune 500 CEO.Also, a person can only function properly knowing 100 people, or having 100 friends maximum. I personally know tens of thousands of people, have been formally introduced and acquainted. I have over 2,000 people I consider friends or family. When it gets too much, people tend to cut people off out of their lives. I’ve done this before. I’ve had so much popularity somewhere, sometime that during a 30 minute walk I’d have 20 people stop to greet me, like we’d known eachother forever, even though I wouldn’t even remember where I met them. That’s how many people I got to know at one point. And we tend to pick the ones that are the most problematic first to cut off. I typically have a rule of not picking fights with people first, so anyone I really dislike I tend to avoid, and I use indirect tactics to get them to screw off by themselves while retaining face and a clean cheek out of politeness. I’ve made respectful people out of the most disobedient, and fearful out of the most disrespectful people without lifting a finger personally.We make movies like legal dramas, cop movies, mob movies, medical dramas, political dramas, war movies, because they tend to be about people who go through nerve rattling shit that carries with it it’s own high sense of reward at the end of the day.To quote a gangster featured in the Serbian crime documentary “See You in The Obituary”, “what we live through in a day, both the joy and disappointment, most people don’t get to experience in their entire lifetimes.”And this is true.I grew moving around, always the new kid from school to school, constantly being bullied and tested, teachers didn’t do anything to step in, and drugged on top of that because of a misdiagnoses, by the time I was 14–15 I was an emotional, mental, intellectual, spiritual, physical and social wreck.I had major depression, social anxiety, was anti authority, had extremely low self esteem and at times both suicidal and homicidal.When I was 11 years old, there was a period I was so depressed and so lonely I would cry at least 3 times a day, every single day, even though when I was in a good mood I’d be a very hyper and happy kid.I juggled between being apathetic and really empathetic.For example, when I was 6 years old in kindergarden I couldn’t stop crying one day because my parents packed me lunch, and just the thought of that made me so sad because of how much they loved me, and I cried out of both joy and out of fear of losing them, and for them because I felt bad life punished them despite being such good parents. This was an example of extreme empathy.Then there are times where I was so numbed out from negative experiences balanced by my positive experiences(that didn’t break me down as if they were only negative, but kept me going with the positive) that I would see people getting killed in front of me, crying, begging, and even though a part of me knew there was nothing I could do for them, it still scares me and prides me at the same time that I didn’t even blink or my heart would race.Those are two experiences that came naturally due to circumstance and conditioning. They are not the result of split personalities or psychopathy. They are the feelings of a trained, conscious individual completely aware of his actions and surroundings, being able to make rational comparisons.Then there were neuroses I gave myself, by convincing myself of one or the other scenario:There were times when I’d have a bunch of 7 foot tall trained killers with guns standing around me, and my legs would be shaking from fear and I’d be paralyzed with fear, which I realized wasn’t cowardice but a healthy emotion driving my actions in order to keep me alive. I never had a flight response, only fight. When you are in a position to fight something you can’t win against, sometimes your body shuts down. I’m not stone cold like Denzel Washington in the Equalizer - when I perceive a threat I must deal with peacefully against my wishes or even if I felt I could win at that time, but the long term consequences would trump short term triumph, my adrenaline would be pumping all over the place. I actually feel less adrenaline in a warzone, if I had offensive capabilities, the ability to shoot back with less conscequences because it’s more expected and therefore the mental flow of processes is smoother(ie pulling out weapon, aiming, pulling trigger, anticipating returning fire, hiding), than I do during a traffic stop in a large North American city. The fact that a cop has a gun and you don’t, and he can shoot you and get away with it but you can’t, even though yours could be justified and his might not be, the thought alone produces a neurosis in itself that creates a sort of cognitive dissonance, a need to fight back but a blockage to it. So the result is shaking because your reflexes tell you to attack, but your mind is consciously telling you to comply.Then there are times when I’d be numbed out to their presence and the level of threat they would pose to me, and additional training and conditioning I’d receive signifies experiential progress and development, even though the treat level ultimately remains the same.A person who has low self esteem is mostly socially conditioned or culturally brainwashed. At 14–15 I was 370 pounds. At 18 I was 240 pounds. People’s reactions, aka friends take you more seriously, don’t bother you as much about your weight, call you fat names less, and easier to get girlfriends, not to mention other less mentioned yet very important aspects - you feel lighter, you sleep better, you have more endurance, you can play sports, thrust more during sex, you can fight back without having a heart attack because of lack of endurance, because of all of this other stuff you learn how to talk better since you opinion matters more now as your social standing has increased, etc. All gives you more assurances and confidence.Now here’s where the more mental than physical part comes in: You get accustomed to your self esteem growing. You realize that all that was said to you before was a result of haters, and trolls will feed on your negative reactions. In essence their threats all of a sudden become empty once you realize you can fight back and people listen to you than if somebody was so fat they couldn’t be taken seriously.And even into adulthood it matters for example during job interviews. You would hire a sexy secretary more over a fat Peggy with saggy tits, or a handsome Josh over a nerdy, balding Dwayne for a car salesman.In my experience, I went from 370 pounds and virtually negative digits self esteem(the suicidal part) to extremely high self esteem(the part where I had 4 girlfriends at once time…in the same dwelling…without them knowing, and then they found out and it didn’t end well…) where you could call me an arrogant prick, where nothing would phase me.But humility, to me, is a quality of a good person. Arrogance, even though it’s more useful to me than suicidally low self image, is still a negative quality.So I tend to keep a borderline humbleness and self depreciating Confucian attitude, how Communists were raised in terms of humility (ie it’s customary in Communist countries to decline an offer of food as a sign of humility when a guest at somebody else’s house, but the host also raised Communist must keep insisting and bring the food out anyways as a sign of honest hospitality and servitude towards the guest on his behalf) while maintaining a high self esteem and extroverted self confidence that is not an openly aggressive, alpha male mentality, or pure ignorant arrogance.When I went from 370 to 240, my self confidence spiked. Then, out of experience and conditioning, I decided this was a good feeling and mindset to have and realizing it’s all about mental conditioning I promised myself never to let myself feel sad(except for grieving), inadequate, dumb, etc. ever again.And I’ve had it tested since then. I went from a very social to a very anti social environment, and in a matter of months I fell into depression because I had no one to talk to(literally the same physiological effect you get from being in solitary confinement, except there’s people around you but they don’t care much to pay any attention to you so it’s worse because you don’t expect it, whereas being locked up in a room by yourself you expect the isolation). I thought this was a biological problem, like a vitamin deficiency, because of how accustomed I grew to being happy and extroverted.I simply refused to believe it was me mentally breaking down again. Then, extroverted nature was tested by workplace censorship and academic censorship, not just social censorship. You can’t say this, you can’t talk to that person, you’re not allowed to be creative, there is a very narrow spectrum of acceptable practices in academic testing, etc.And you start to self censor yourself in order to work within the system, to not be forced out of it like something that doesn’t belong in the human body.But it goes against your nature. And you end up fighting with yourself and your environment even if there is no clear opponent.But then there’s other aspects: I went from 240 pounds to 370 pounds by age 22 yet again. And people treated me differently, some similarly as when I was 15. I realized my attitude had changed and that helped tremendously, but I was definitely NOT getting the same responses from people in the same situations with the same actions I exhibited as when I was 18 and 240 pounds, and it wasn’t simply because I was 4 years older.Less job opportunities, less girlfriends, less friendships, all of a sudden things become more restricted to you and the mindset is “ok so I just have to find a person to like me for who I am” and that spectrum seems to get narrower and narrower the more culturally negative physical and psychological traits I exhibit.It becomes a self perpetuating cycle too - the more I get treated negatively, the more I adjust my reactions accordingly(respond to an insult with an insult instead of a witty comment that results in the insult being retracted and a counter-humoristic comment being made, because my witty comment was being greeted by another insult instead since nobody really cared to prove themselves to the fatso in the room as they did to the supermodel or man’s man)..So the more I adjust my reactions, the more negative thoughts and emotions I fill with myself, and the more I care less about verbally inducing positive reactions from people and the more about being strong in the face of criticism.My positive emotion rate dwindles, as it is replaced by negative emotions resulting from negative experiences.That, or in the case of Canada, neutral and negative experiences. Neutral experiences are like socially isolating yourself in a favorable place - like a mountain cabin or a beach chair, and relaxing in the quiet and tranquility it brings, so not a negative type of forced isolation like solitary confinement.But even being locked up in a cabin with a pretty mountain view or at the beach will eventually become a negative experience. It just gives us time to rest, like resting after a workout, or taking a rest day to let muscles repair themselves after 4 days of exercise.But when there is no positive experiences to fuel them…There are girlfriends I had who promised they’d never leave despite how bad I ended up looking, they slowly disappeared as I increasingly gained weight, the more they would be harder to reach and less responsive the more I gained weight again…Now at 250 again things are vastly different.So going from 370 to 240 to 370 the first time - I retained my self confidence even though the environment started treating me as if I had no self confidence.Going from 370 to 240 to 370 to 240 - it reaffirmed that no extraordinary cosmic circumstances outside the natural order - such as bad luck or simply attracting bad people out of pure chance - happened, and it was all a matter of how I looked.But the physical attractiveness is not the point here. The point is how I convinced myself at 370 pounds that I’m still as good looking as 240 pounds, even though most people would freak out only if they gained 20 or 30 pounds.I would tell myself, even though the scale says the same, the difference in attractiveness is vast - at 15 and 370 pounds I was 67 percent body fat and wore 6 times extra large T-shirts. I also had no endurance, could not run 10 meters without getting tired and had fat arms maybe around 10 inches in the biceps/triceps area.At 22 and 370 pounds, I was 32 percent body fat and wore 2 times extra large t-shirts. I had enough endurance to jog for an hour despite my size, and my arms had grown to 18.5 inches because it would be my 5th year of hitting the gym 4 days a week for 5 years straight in addition to swimming and hitting the punching bag. My mere jogging alone in the gym would surprise observers, and professional well cut bodybuilders would ask me how the hell I was able to do bicep curls with 65 pound dumbbells in addition to 3 hours of other exercises and not take steroids or protein powder to fuel this strength.So, the way I looked at it, I had gained over 70 pounds in muscle mass I never had before, even though I also gained 50 pounds of fat. So the potential was still there to make something out of it, and I shouldn’t let this relapse back to this weight convince me permanently that I’d never get back in shape.I would tell myself, I’m 2.5 inches short of having Arnold Schwarzenneger’s arm size during his prime as Mr. Olympia.How would I also treat somebody who was in my body? Would I treat them with disrespect? No? Well, in that case, when I would get called a bad name by someone, regardless of the weight, I figured the reason behind this was because that person felt so inadequate, he felt that I was more inadequate than him, and would want to take the chance to publicly humiliate me.It’s a weak man’s game and only shows how shallow he is.A strong man is a gentleman who would fight you like a gentleman instead of a cornered dog, who would show some decorum fighting you, some style and class.If that person is so inadequate to not properly conduct a war, and would be willing to do anything and say anything to win(insult the disadvantaged instead of uplifting them, and sucking up to the advantaged, instead of competing with the advantaged while protecting the disadvantaged) that person should not be trusted because he is no different than a parasite.Why would they insult you? What business do they have making you feel bad? Only my enemies should be made to feel bad, and by God it takes a lot for somebody to become my mortal enemy where all bets are off and I’m not only here to make your life a living hell suburban mom style, but I am actually going to kill you, like if my family practiced blood revenge and I was obligated to kill one of your family members out of honor.But there have been people who have earned that title. So far I’ve only had 2 in my place of birth, and about a dozen or so in Canada.Some willingly, thinking they can compete. All of them end up regretting it in the end. I’m patient. I wait years if I have to before exacting my revenge, because when I was wronged maybe I was so inferior I couldn’t fight back, yet it was an injustice I had to fix. But when I was superior after that, I took my chance instead of giving forgiveness. Like nemesis status, forgiveness is earned and doesn’t come naturally than if it was a lighter offense.So whenever I feel somebody wants to hurt me mentally - be it get me fired at work, insult me on the street, say something so I get bad grades at school, a girlfriend who says you have a small dick or aren’t good in bed, etc.I can deal with that and I usually love traumatizing my opponents. I think of it as a challenge. Workplace harassment? Let me press this button on my pen here so I can start recording, and explain to you how what you’re doing is not only a labor code violation, but also a criminal code violation.In the end, I’ve found that in North America, paradoxically, the people with the most freedom tends to be the systematically most repressed population sample - the criminal population.They do not care about workplace censorship, they do not overexert themselves physically or mentally for work(it doesn’t take much brains, physical, mental effort or time investment to sell drugs and make 3 grand a month but it does take a lot of brains for an engineer to do engineering for 3 grand a month) since a robbery is harder to do than a murder and all you need to do is point a gun at someone and demand cash for a robbery to happen, they do not care about academic achievement or failing or passing exams, they are financially secure and don’t have to pay taxes, they take what they want when they need it and let it be when they don’t, they socialize and network in a same way similar to other jobs(HR, doctors, engineers, lawyers, police, politicians) and help each other find work and housing and educational resources, and being a repressed group they develop an anti authority mentality, learn not to rely on the system, use their stolen money to enjoy themselves maximally, give to charity more than regular people out of a fear of karmic retribution, they do not care about mortgage or car payments as much as regular people, some don’t care if they go to jail or die and this is a huge load off their shoulders and therefore are able to live better than most regular people, and are able to be more efficient in their work, and since there is a high level of collegiality between criminals in addition to fierce competition many criminals have adopted the small business family business model, where they treat their employees or co-workers like family(how many people can relate to DEA agents or artists, both class of people tend to get along most ideologically, spiritually and in their level of excitement and their preferences to each other, like how would they share work stories if most people don’t understand them?)….Ironically the most freedom loving part of the population is not only the most oppressed, but also has the least opportunities available within the system it survives on.So, this answer has all been about perspectives and experiences. You should always keep an open mind and a clear mind on top of it. One story/analogy I can make is that of a man who had two cousins - one was a doctor and the other was a mob boss. Both had the same level of relationship with their cousin(closeness). The doctor cousin was asked for a small favor - a loan of 50 German marks and promised he would do a big favor in return in case he couldn’t pay right away. He declined to help outright and made the cousin feel bad for asking. The mob boss cousin was asked for a big favor - men had come to kill his cousin and his cousin had phoned him for assistance. So the mob boss cousin sent 40 people to help and got his cousin out of the mess and asked for nothing in return.The doctor has historically, in public face, been the paragon, and the mob boss, the renegade, yet the doctor can sometimes be arrogant because of his status in society, and not a good representation of his professional status.The mob boss, despite being a renegade and the niceness and generosity generally being seen as a farce to cover up his sins in public, and the public being distrustful of him, will remember his status as the underdog, constantly criticized, and his motivations will be benevolent, as much of him was not inherently evil, as an inherently evil man can do no good, even if it is for some political or materialistic gain(not unconditional). So drawing from the tons of good that hide underneath the thick shell of the criminal, the moral clarity, it is amplified multiple times because it is one chance he gets to do something good for another soul, and remembers how he suffers on a day to day basis and how he could never become a doctor to begin with, otherwise he could’ve been the arrogant prick who is universally praised as a paragon while the mob boss is unjustly stuck with being portrayed as a villain instead of an underdog who got carried away and lost in doing bad with a good intention behind it.It’s all about self image. You can be whoever you want to be, and that’s not some New Age woo-artist talk. All you gotta do is believe in yourself, put the work in and never stop convincing yourself. It’s all simple psychological tricks, mental gymnastics. Try and you never know when you’ll succeed, but trying itself even if you fail is tremendous life experience.I like comfort and repetitive actions that yield positive results too, but sometimes we gotta try new things. You never know what’ll come out of them, even if you’re anxious to find out it might be something negative.What’s the worst that could happen? The universe will collapse?Lastly I want to share that I know some ugly ass motherfuckers, both guys and girls, who have practiced so much on themselves, filled with positive energy, experiences, taught themselves how to taught, how to be charismatic, body language, facial expressions, how to dress, walk, improve their personality, their morals, their way of thinking, that they are extremely charismatic for being so symmetrically ugly.A guy who is obese, who has a huge nose, big ears, a crooked nose, a big pimple, missing teeth, a wimp chin, yet more charismatic than Clark Gable or Marlon Brando.Look at Humphrey Bogart…not the prettiest Hollywood fella…you could say Chris Hemsworth is better looking than him…but you cannot say Chris Hemsworth is more charismatic than Humphrey Bogart…And that in itself makes a huge difference.