Childcare Resource: Fill & Download for Free

Try calling your local community resource line (usually 2–1–1). Ask them for childcare resources. If you live in a reasonable-sized city, there are usually options for nontraditional childcare. Some places do all-nights or weekends, for example. You might be able to find someone flexible and affordable.

Twice, sort of. Both of my stories are about overbearing grandparents, supposedly “helping” their daughters raise kids. Unfortunately, both of these women were whack-job nutcases who honestly had no business shaping growing minds.For the first story, I was teaching preschool, my class was mostly three year olds. I forgot the boys name so I’ll call him Jimmy. He was timid, whiny and to be frank, an annoying child. Most children, at three years old, know how to ask for what they want but Jimmy just cried. His mother usually dropped him off in the mornings on her way to work. She was in the medical field and seemed pretty normal. She worked long hours and her mother picked Jimmy up around 1pm, after I’d left for the day. Apparently Jimmy stayed at a grandma’s house each day until his mother got off work, 12–14 hours after she dropped him off each day. Jimmy spent more time with his grandmother than with his mom. I worked late one day and had the opportunity to meet his grandmother and after chatting for a few minutes, I suddenly understood why he was such a… weenie. She was surprised that the rest of the staff hadn’t informed me of the tragic death of his father. In her eyes, this (and not her response to this) had a profound impact on his development. Dad went to work one day and was killed in a motorcycle accident, failing to return on time. That would be tragic, and could negatively impact a child’s life, for sure. I’m not denying that. But Jimmy was two weeks old when this happened. He was too young to have any conscious memories of his father, too young to even realize that the man didn’t come home that night. He was taught that his father’s death had damaged him, and coddled to the point of destruction by an over-sympathetic caregiver who planted an irrelevant sense of grief and sadness. She was overindulgent, attributing every undesirable behavior to his mourning and failing to teach him the social skills and communication skills that most three-year-olds are exposed to. She literally encouraged regressive behavior and prevented his normal development because she imagined him to be traumatized by the death of a man he’d essentially never known. He could have been a normal child, if not for her teaching him that he was different.Another time, I was a girl scout troop leader coordinating events for multiple troops. My summer camps were super fun, with tons of art activities, projects, games and creative fun. One child was hesitant on the first day to participate but by day 3 she was enjoying herself immensely, in spite of an enormous level of self-criticism. At times, she seemed paralyzed by the idea that the colors she’d chosen might not match, or her coloring wasn’t up-to-par, her glue had bubbled, her lines weren’t perfect. None of the other kids seemed to care that their work wasn’t perfect, they just wanted it recognizable and enjoyed the process of creating. On the final day, parents were invited to participate in the fun and her grandmother showed up. Grandma proceeded to criticize her artwork, even scooting the child over in order to do each and every project FOR her. The woman could have sat side-by-side with the child, each making their own project (like every other parent in attendance) but this woman chose to do the child’s project for her, then subsequently praise the child for having the best project (that she actually created). No wonder the child was reluctant to participate in the beginning. No wonder she was so afraid that her work wasn’t perfect. How on earth would it be fun if you’re used to being criticized and having your work taken over? I’ve never seen an adult so focused on destroying the creativity of a child by systematically taking over the project and then praising THE CHILD for how well it turned out. The kid wasn’t dumb, she knew it wasn’t her own work. No wonder she’d given up on trying.I can’t decide which story is more sad. In the end, I think I’m most sad for the grandparents who should have known better. What on earth would go wrong in a woman’s mind to believe it was OK to crush a child they should be building up? Sometimes I feel most sad for these kid’s mothers, who might have no idea that Grandma is behaving this way, or worse, they know it because they lived it and have no other childcare resources so their children are doomed to the same childhood they had. Kids are resilient, I hope Jimmy and the girl grew up with enough sense to see that their grandmothers were loony.

The answer to this is very regional. Many larger cities have childcare resource/referral organization that can answer this question for you. If not, call several providers in your area to get an idea of pricing. Expect anything from $100 to $300 or more per week as your answer.