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First of all, let me admit that this question hits me where it hurts. Sometimes the truth hurts. This one hit “hard and heavy” big time from all corners. It is a series of dilemmas I have been trying to figure out.Why is Africa rich, yet poor?Why are Africans brilliant and smart, yet, their policies are dumb, especially from the African Union?Why are their most educated and skilled workforce leaving their countries to enrich the already developed countries?Why doctors, engineers, scientists, and business men and women leaving?What is wrong and how can we fix it?It should be for every African who cares about Africa and her people. I will not just complain about issues, I will propose some solutions from an African perspective.“Africa is not poor, it is poorly managed”. Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf.Our resources enrich the rest of the world, but Africa. Without our resources, forget about electronics (computers, cell-phones, etc), without Ghana and Ivory Coast, forget about chocolates, without DRC, Botswana, and South Africa, forget about fancy marriage rings, and jewerly or anything else. This list is endless."Africa is poor" they said!“ Africa does not need aid”. Most of her resources are stolen every year for over 120 years now. From the invasion of Africa in the end of 20th century, to colonization, and today with neo-colonization. Different forms each time, but same results. See below how much money we lose each year. A net loss of $41 billion dollars in 2017. The loss keeps growing every year. We don’t need your aid. We don’t need your “peanuts”.Source: The 2017 Honest Accounts Report by Global Justice Now.The Africa they never show you.There is another Africa that the media never wants to you to see. The positive Africa that is prosperous, progressive and just as developed as the West. Sadly, the NGO industry machine and the western countries never want you to see this side.It is not the narrative that they want to push out, sadly. To make you “ donate”, they have to show you that Africa is “helpless”, that you are the only “ savior” they got. NGOs take your money in forms of donations and taxes.We Africans don’t need your Pity and Sympathy. Keep your Money!Image source: Dreamstime.From an African perspective, Aid leads to dehumanization, low-self esteem, dependency culture, cycle of poverty and pitiful mentality. Would you want to be a beggar for life? How would that make you feel? Think about how this affects African from generations to generations.It is a no-brainer to me that they keep pushing “ aid” to people who don’t need it. Your donations end up in their pockets anyway. They enrich themselves with it.Charities in Africa. How does Aid hurts Africans.There is no doubt in my mind that some of you will be “ shell-shocked” with some photos below. “Africa they never show you”.Six of the top 10 Fastest Growing Economies in 2018 are African.Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania ( East-Africa)Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire; One of my favorite cities in West-Africa.Kigali, Rwanda ( my homecountry).Photo Credit: Rwanda the Heart of AfricaAccra, Ghana. I worked here for three years.Image source: Accra, the capital city of GhanaThe young African millionnaires in business, changing the narratives, making lots of $$ along the way and making a big impact in the lives of many Africans. This is the group I want to be part of someday. Right now, I do “passive investing” with some of them.You will find them in East-Africa, Central Africa, Southern-Africa, North and West-Africa. The ROI (returns) in Africa when you invest directly into small and medium businesses is the best I have ever seen anywhere in the world.Didier Champion's answer to How do you get rich in Africa?They are the real changing the status quo and have benefitted from booming economies around the continent. Today, I see no other place that is easier to become a millionnaire while young than Africa; starting with nothing.If you know of any, let me know.Now, let me get back to your question. I personally don’t agree that “ Africa is poor”. I hate this perspective. I have met many talented Africans around the world. As a continent, we just need to get our shit together and use the resources we have to create strong economic blocs for ourselves.Stop exporting our raw materials. Instead, transform them in our own countries and export them when they are finished products.Imagine if;Ivory Coast did that with their Cocoa in the chocolate industry.Nigeria did that with their oil and gas industry.DRC did that with their natural resources.South Africa, Botswana, Equatorial Guinea, and many other countries. [instert any African country] see 1st graph for more from each country.Our resources enrich the rest of the world, but us Africans. The whole world benefits from our resources. African people remain the biggest losers of all time in the history of mankind. This is why we lag behind. This is why we remain “poor”. If you were to pick one thing that keep Africa “poor”, this is it. Look nowhere else. Period.Why is Africa lagging behind?Let’s be honest. African issues are our own issues. Africans should NOT expect Europeans, Americans, or the Chinese to solve their problems. African problems can only be solved by Africans only. To think otherwise, you have to be “crazy” and “ dumb” on steroids.Africa need to phase out Aid to be politically and economically independent.There are a lot of reasons why Africa has stayed behind; some are obvious and others are not. Some you can blame them on the invaders and neo-colonizers. ( Europeans and the West). But Africans are to blame for the most part. You can put blame on slavery, colonization all you want, but when it comes down to it, Africans are to blame for neo-colonization after the independence mouvement in the 60’s.Yes, the Europeans shitted on us big time with colonization. But, after colonization, they reinvented the wheels with “ aid” and neo-colonialism. Africans allowed them to stick around and accepted their “ inferior” position at the back of the bus. I blame colonization on Europeans, but anything after colonization is the African faults and mistakes.Accepting that they were inferior and that their colonial master was their “savior” all of the sudden. The Europeans have not cared about Africans. They will never and should not care.They supposedly came to Africa to “ civilise” but really it was all about their own self-interests. They have not been “ Mother Theresa” and they will never be. They don’t need to be.After colonization, they got snicky and said we will stick around and be your “savior”. You are an inferior race, who cannot do anything on your own. Let’s us help you. With “ aid”, they still control majority of Africa countries ( especially, France, the UK and the US, who had to play “ catch up” as he missed out on colonization).From unfair trade practices, controlling the monetary and fiscal policies, they can do whatever they want. African leaders don’t answer to their people. They answer to West Europeans (EU, France, UK, Germany, the US, Netherlands, etc) and North America ( US and Canada).All of the above are the African problems and not the neo-colonizers. African people have no opinion about what goes on in their own countries. Their opinions barely matter. Their “ dumb” leaders and representatives are happy to show up in meetings in Paris, London, Berlin, Quebec, and other places.During these meetings, conferences, summits, and what nots.The West already have their own expectations and clear goals of what they want to achieve. More control and power in Africa.On the other hand, African leaders are told what their expectations are and what they should do, how they should do it, when to do it, etc. Do you see this level of control? I see it everyday.What kind of interests do you think a slave owner have in mind for his former slaves?What kind of respect and dignity do they have for them? The same ones a “former colonizer” have for his “former colonies”. This is not hard to understand, but our leaders don’t seem to get it. Mindboggling.They always seem to use “ colonization” as their excuse card. Other countries were colonized too. South Korea, Singapore, Taiwan, the list goes on.What did they do and how did they do it? Loving their countries and caring for their people.It was not through aid. They did it through relying on themselves. Trading and doing business with one another, inovation, education, and many other sectors.Educating their children.Today, Africans still use books written by Europeans. Our real history was erased and rewritten by our slave owners. In schools, we still learn that Africa was “ discovered”, that our rivers and mountains were discovered by some “ European” explorers. Haha! How do you discover people who settled in their lands for generations? I don’t fucking know. It is upsetting.In our history books, our ancestos are called “ indigenous” people. Our heroes who founded our kingdoms, unbreakable empires of their era, fought Europeans with spears and fleshes when they initially came in with guns and bullets.They were fearless, courageous, and were willing to die for their dignity. Our leaders today and just a bunch of punk and wussies. They cannot even speak their minds. I call them “dumb”, but really it is political greed, and fear for their positions. The moment they speak up, they will be shut down by the masters. So, many keep their mouth shut like a baby who can’t for themselves.They only speak at African Union, but elsewhere they are meeting with the G-8 and G-20 countries, they are happy to shake hands and take their place in the “ back seat” of the bus. It pains me to see it every year. It brings me lots of shame to see that kind of humiliation. “ Hate” is not a strong word enough to use in this case.By the time, an African child grows up, because of our education system, he does not see greatness of his country at all. Since kindergarten, we are taught that anything white/European is better. Thanks to Europeanized education system, we are taught every day that Africans are inferior.In middle school, I spent years learning about the 1789 French revolution, WW I and WW II, European leaders ( Adolf Hitler, Napoleon Bonaparte, etc). However, I never learned anything about The Butcher of Congo: King Leopold II of Belgium.Rwanda is a neighbor to DRC. Even Congolese children never learned about the “Congo Free State by King Leopold II”. How do you explain that? The motherfucker and son of bitch who killed millions of Congolese with his “charity organization” he created to exploit the resources of Republic Democratic of Congo for years. He killed, tortured and murdered men, women and children for years.He used the “ charity card” and Christian missionaries to exploit all the resources. Upon his death, he was the richest man in the world. His net worth is estimated to have been between $500 million to a $1 billion ( in 1910 US dollars). Multiple research give different number estimates. His wealth was donated to the Belgian government of course. He is a hero in Belgium. He is got museums, buildings and streets named after him. This is why Africa is “poor”.Our resources enrich everybody else. Ask Africans today about Christianity and charity organizations today. They will tell you that both of these are the main problems plaguing our continent today.Image source: Congolese posing with the severed hands of those failed to make the daily rubber sap quota ( Digital Journal, 1904).Women and Children were not exempt.“The commanding officer ordered us to cut off the heads of the men and hang them on the village palisades, also their sexual members, and to hang the women and the children on the palisade in the form of a cross."The Butcher of Congo: King Leopold II of Belgium.How come I never read any book from some of our own authors such as Chinua Achebe and other amazing African authors. I was busy with European authors and other nonsense that had nothing to do with Africa. You see how it’s messed up, right?This is the biggest problem for me. Education in Africa and how we educate our children. Those who don’t know their history are bound to repeat it. They have no idea of where they have been and where they are going. This is why you see mistakes made in the 50’s are still made today. No changes and nobody has learned. This is what needs to be changed, otherwise, we are kidding ourselves.This is why Africa lags behind.We used to be great, but colonization came and fucked up everything. Since then, we have never been the same. Credit to the Europeans.Our Empires were known to be the great traders and innovators of their time. Look up the history of Empire of Mali in West-Africa, history of our fighters such as Shaka Zulu in South Africa, The Carthage Empire in Northern Africa, the Egyptian Empire in Egypt and elsewhere.Think about it, to this day, nobody can replicate the Pyramids from Egypt. The accuracy, the attention to details, the math, science and innovation that went through building those marvellous pieces of Architecture, how come we never built on those foundations to build and re-invest ourselves after colonization? instead all we got out was tribalism, identity politics, corruption, divisionism, and so many other nonsense. It is a shame and a disgrace.We used to be some of the great traders in the world, but today, we are only known as the biggest beggars and dependent people in the history of mankind. It is a shame and disgrace.There is too many reasons why we have remained poor and still lags behind today. I cannot cover all of them all in one post. But, Africa is Home, I cover most of it and what need to be done. I share my opinions as the “ hard cold truths”. Some do hurt me too, but we have to be frank about our issues as Africans.It is the only way we can progress as one people. Look ourselves in the eyes and say: “Man, we have really fucked up. We are to blame ourselves. Our issues are our problems, and no one else.”Only then, we can start to move ahead in the right direction.We have wasted more than 50 years. My hope is that we start changing and not waste another 30–50 years. In 30 years, I want to look at my children and tell them ( with a straight face) that the “new Africa” they see, I played a small part in changing the status quo.I don’t want them to go study in the West ( like I did). By the time they go to university, I want them to pick any university in Africa and go study there. I want them to be born in Africa, study and work in Africa, and live in a peaceful-progressive Africa. Period.Within my small ways and capacity, I will “fight like hell” starting with my home-country, Rwanda. Hopefully, my fellow Africans strive to do the same in their home countries.So many speeches and quotes from many leaders across the continent already, we need to start translating those “verbal promises” into “action”. Otherwise, we are just kidding ourselves and bullshitting. I will leave you with one quote from one of the few doers I admire and respect today.“We must understand that the time for babysitting is over and that we will never develop as we feel we have a never-ending need for Europeans, Americans, Asians, or other babysitters.” President of Rwanda, Paul Kagame.This quore summarizes my whole post and main answer to your question.As long as Africa is still dependent on Europe, America or Asia with “aid” and not trade, we will keep lagging way behind. Nobody has developed through the “mercy” of others. Why should Africa be different? We know what works and need to do it. Period.Free market capitalism, trade, inovation, business and entrepreneurship.Home | African UnionThank youGod bless Africa.Didier ChampionReferencesAfrica is Home ( My blog on Quora, how to end the cyle of poverty in Africa and take Africa to great levels of economic successs).Africa need to phase out Aid to be politically and economically independent.Charities in Africa. How does Aid hurts Africans.Myths and Stereotypes about Africans and their lives: Africa is Rich and Beautiful.Africans are still tied in the colonial chains of their masters in Africa Today.What does Africa need to be free and independent?

Did this little girl just have a baby? She sure looks young.This is either going to be really good or really bad.It’s actually a little of both. Let me tell you my story.I know I look about 12 however I’d just turned 18.I was a single unwed mother.I named my baby boy Timothy Jason Gordon but he was always just called T.J.I wasn’t going to screw this up. I was going to do whatever it took to give this little boy the best life possible. Plan~Operation Opposite! All I had to do was the exact opposite of what was done to me. I got this!Who knew Osh Kosh were so expensive? I was going to have to get a good job and budget my money wisely. Better find a way to go to college too because I can’t have him get teased and taunted like I did because of his clothes. No old battered hand me downs that stunk like a barn. Not for my son. I got this.Lisa, You need to start focusing and answer the damn question already. Geez Louise! This is about to get really hard. Tissues (check!) A beverage to help swallow the impending snot down and a couple of hits off the vaporizer. (check!)Here we go. The one thing you’ve never been able to talk about to anyone but I think it’s time we get these pent up emotions out before they eat us up completely. Deep breath. In, out. Let’s go!Brush your teeth, my little blue-eyed baby boy. Don’t want to end up like your Momma when you’re old.Hi, My name is Lisa and this is the story of my greatest regret in life. Please bear with me as I relive a very painful and heart-wrenching experience.This has taken me 6 years to even discuss.6 years where every day I have tried to block it from my mind.6 years of agony over a lost moment that I can never reclaim and it has changed me and my life forever.I can still hear Mrs. Whitfield like it was yesterday.I'll never forget the words she spoke or the tone in which she spoke them.I'll never forget the feeling that came over me or the look on my Mother's face.Every moment is frozen in time, from the temperature in the room to the scent in the air to my precious Son laying on that cold steel table covered from head to toe in a dingy blanket.I can still see his face every time I close my eyes.I couldn't imagine how the worst moment in my life could get any worse, after all, I'd just lost my precious boy, my firstborn and only Son and the light and love of my life.He was my world, my everything and he was dead. Taken from me suddenly and tragically as a passenger in an automobile accident.How could this happen again?I need to look into curses. Family curses to be exact. I need to research this.We had such fun together! The best times ever! We make each other laugh and smile.He is the best kid in the world!How did I get so damn lucky?He loves me!!!!! I love him!!!Love is the greatest feeling in the world.Maybe life is going to turn out great after all!The pain I was in was so deep that it rendered me helpless.I was but a shell of the woman who prior, never would have stood for or obeyed those horrifying words that came out of the funeral director's mouth.Words that haunt me to this very dayI had words too.Words I needed to say to that beautiful boy lying on that table.The kinda boy that made you actually believe there might be a god.I was only 18 when I had him.We learned, grew and evolved together.We were a team.Me parenting him, him parenting me.His love, guidance, and support were masterfully adept at keeping me sane, level and happy.As long as I had him, I could bear all of the other pain and losses that I'd endured throughout my life.Somehow, he made everything okay.He was the epitome of love and everything good in my world.I know everyone thinks their kid is special but he really was one in a billion.High school graduation. 4.4 G.P.ACollege Graduation. Dual Major. Computer Science, Robotics. First in his class.4.7 weighted GPAT.J had a genius-level I.Q. Top 1% in the country.We learned this when his private school decided to test the protege they discovered in their midst.He was something special.Everyone knew it and felt it.His soul was so gentle and his heart was full of this deep love and compassion for everyone.Old people, young people, children, the disabled, all colors, creeds, and sexes. Evenanimals flocked to him.He cared about everyone.A giver, not a taker.Never made a single enemy in his life or even had so much as a childhood rough and tumble.Never a fight or a cross word.Just the most peaceful and loving kid you could ever imagine.I never even heard him swear. Not once. (although I’m sure he did when I wasn’t around.) Or maybe not.He would hug and kiss me hello and goodbye every single day, in front of his friends or anyone who happened to be there. Even in public!Sometimes (most of the time) he would give me love throughout the day.A hug in the kitchen. an “I love you” during dinner. Breakfast thank you’s.We just loved each other in such a profound and meaningful way.He didn’t care when he was called a Momma’s boy. He’d just smile and agree that he was. He wasn’t ashamed of it. He was actually quite proud of it!We had our own special language that no one else would understand.They didn’t need to. This was about US and our impenetrable bond.I just needed a few minutes. a moment in time that comes and goes so quickly one barely notices.Words from a Mother to her Son. After all, it would forever be the last time I would ever see him.These words I needed to say to my boy were going to have to sustain me for the remainder of my days on earth.I waited patiently while others filed through. I was trembling both inside and out as the tears flowed down my face in a never-ending stream.Any second and it would be just the two of us.I would hold his hand for the last time and kiss his cheek, whisper those special words in his ear and say goodbye forever.It was paramount to me and I know to him as well.We got each other on a level few can understand. I don’t even get it. I sure do fucking miss it though and I know I will never find it again in this lifetime.I don’t believe in heaven and hell or even that in the end, good wins out over evil.I’m not convinced it even matters anymore. It’s not like life is fair. It is generally unfair in my opinion.The rich get richer.The poor get poorer.Nice guys finish last.Donald Trump is the president! A horrible human being!Only the good die young.All dogs go to heaven.Back to my living breathing nightmare. My hell on earth.Lots of people wanted to say goodbye to my son before they cremated him.It seemed like everyone was there. Many I didn’t even know.This was a no-frills affair.He’d made his wishes known in that regard long ago during a rather deep discussion on death and dying, the environment, profiteers, landmass, toxins, wasteful spending. You get the picture.He was a very deep and intellectual person and we talked every day.The funeral home director's name was Ernestine Whitfield and she was still fuming mad because we hadn’t bought the big money funeral she tried pushing.That should have been a red flag on what was to come but I was too beaten up to even stand up on my own two feet.I was the epitome of destroyed. But what happened next was unfathomable to me and it kills me to this very day and always will.Mrs. Whitfield, the funeral home owner changed my life forever and I can never and will never forgive her.At first, I thought I heard her wrong.Who would deny a Mother 2 minutes to say goodbye to her child?Certainly not someone whose business it was to help us through this traumatic and catastrophic event.I couldn’t possibly be hearing her right but unfortunately, these are the exact words that came out of her mouth when I asked her for those few moments alone with my dead child."NO. You've taken up too much of my time as it is, you all need to leave now!”I was stunned, shocked, frozen.I tried to speak but nothing came out.Inside I was screaming for my baby boy, outside I was frozen in such shock and grief and complete and utter helplessness that I couldn't move a muscle or utter a single word.She hurriedly closed the door between me and that boy on the table. My boy!I strained for one last glimpse and she was gone, he was gone and that one moment, that one most important moment was gone.Lost to me forever and ever and ever.Two minutes of that funeral home’s time changed the remaining minutes, days, weeks and years of my life.*However many I have left. The way things are looking, it won’t be too long.I am not afraid. It will be welcomed.I still cannot fathom such cruelty, such lack of compassion and humanness.Especially from those whose job and business it is to aid us through tragedy and lossThe callous, cold and uncaring have no business in the funeral trade.Read reviews, feel people out, get a sense of their decency and compassionDon't let anyone steal your voice or take a once in a lifetime moment away from you. Don’t let the bastards win. Keep fighting.I don’t want anyone else to make the mistake I did. If I can prevent even one grieving loved one from this pain and regret. These tears that are rendering me unable to see the computer screen will have been worth itI regret not being stronger and speaking up for my son and myself.I’d give anything to go back and not take NO for an answer.I let the bully win. I didn’t just lose my voice that day.I lost everything.My drive, my goals, my reason for being.I lost a thriving business that I’d put my entire life savings into.I lost my house.My Jaguarmy good credit, my self-respect.Everything I had worked hard for all my life.The reason I tried to do everything to the best of my ability.To be kind to others, to not judge and to give back.Help anyone and everyone.Be a good human being.Be honest, forgiving and helpful.Patient and understanding.Generous with one's time and resources.I did all of those things and it got me nowhere in the end. Unless you consider hell a location.A Life with no purpose. I think I just decided what I’d name my book should I write one.I am all alone, self-medicating to escape the unrelenting pain, loss, grief, and isolation that has plagued me since that day.I have a severe case of agoraphobia that’s rendered me terrified to leave my house.I stopped caring about my appearance and let myself go.I used to be considered beautiful. I always took immaculate care of myself.I don’t even run a brush through my hair most days and I can’t remember the last time I put on makeup or real clothes.I won’t answer my phone or door most of the time and only text with the outside world when I must.I rarely eat anything and just try to drink milk to ease the hunger painsI wait until the middle of the night to check my mail for fear someone will see meI have an aggressive skin cancer growing on my nose but I won’t go to the doctor and get it taken care of.My hair is falling out in droves. I get no nutrition.This was me when my son was alive.This is me now.I'm sick pretty much all the time. I’m In pain 24/7. I have no quality of life. I have no one. I have nothing…Except…Bumbie!She is my emotional support, my baby, my love, my world, the little girl that keeps me living and breathing. I love her right to death!Back…Before I lost it all…I was a self-made millionaire at 30 years old, have owned 5 restaurants and employed hundreds of people.Here’s a picture of T.J as he played Host for me at one of my restaurants in New Tampa, Fl. It was called Oceans New England Seafood and Grill.Now I’m dirt poor, live off a meager disability payment of less than $800 a month and $40 in food stamps.I’ve rolled pennies to buy milk. Numerous times. That's a far cry from paying cash for a $64,000 automobileI went from being a type-A overachiever to not giving a fuck about my life or myself.I’ve got a myriad of health problems that I ignore, (M.S, C.O.P.D, Basal Cell Carcinoma and Auto-Immune Dysfunction)All brought on by grief. In my opinion..This is me less than a year after losing my boy. I was given only had a 30% chance of survival and wish every day that I’d never come out of my month-long coma and just died then. It would have ended my suffering sooner.I take drugs, any drugs to numb my emptiness, loss and pain.Street drugs, Pharmaceutical drugs…It doesn’t matter.I can’t eat, Can’t sleep. Take terrible care of myself or should I say, I take no care of myself.I am dying by my own hand, by the act of omission. It’s a subtler form of suicide but just as deadly.I am proof that you can die from a broken heart.I’ve been told that without treatment, I have at most 3–5 years to live.PLEASE REMEMBER TO BE KIND.So my biggest regret in life?I have many but not standing up to that funeral director, I’ll regret that till the day I die!Not getting to say goodbye to the most important, most loved, most admired human of my entire tragic filled, success filled, crazy and loss filled life is the greatest.I never even to got to kiss him goodbye.Edit-I was asked about my family and if there was anything that would bring me some happiness and I took some time to ponder that question.I thought you might also be interested as my answer is shockingly getting viewed which pleases me greatly.I have lost my family through one tragedy or anotherMy sister was killed at the age of 15 by a drunk priest while riding her bicycle. Her name was Christine.My brother was killed in a drunk driving accident at the age of 29. He was the one who had been drinking. He was fleeing a group of college students who were harassing him and who wanted to beat him up because of his sexuality. He was gay and oh so handsome. His name was Dean.My mother died 2 years ago. Exactly 7 days following her car accident. I never left her side. She was 84 years old and mean as a junkyard dog and never once told me she loved me. But she was all I had left and I did love her even though she was incapable of reciprocating that love. All she did during those 7 days was express her anger at how unfair it was that she was going to die and that she wasn’t ready. I found that indicative of her as she couldn’t grasp anything outside of herself. Like the fact we’d buried my son at only 28, My sister at only 15, My brother at only 29 and she got 84 years! Yeah, Mom. You got robbed.My father (who died in my arms) had a heart attack and was resuscitated and put on life support. He was brain dead and I had to be the one to make the decision to have it removed. I laid beside him in that hospital bed for the 11 1/2 hours it took him to die as he drowned on his own fluids. I spent that entire time suctioning all the mucus that was pouring out of his nose and mouth. It was the most horrid thing I have ever witnessed. Not once did a nurse or doctor enter that room. He also never told me he loved me.My beloved stepfather (who also died in my arms) 3 months after being diagnosed with esophageal cancer. He was the first person to ever show me love and affection. I took him into my home and cared for him 24/7 as I watched him waste away. He was only 47 years old and I loved that man with all my heart. Here he is pictured with my Mother. His name was Jason. I named my son Timothy Jason in honor of him even though we shared no blood. We shared the much more important element of love.My childhood sweetheart who I’d planned to spend the rest of my life with died 2 weeks before he was set to graduate from law school. He accidentally overdosed on cocaine and it stopped his heart. The only man I ever loved. He was 26.This is me at his graveside. It’s been almost 25 years since I lost him but I still take care of the plot. I painted the piece of slate with his name on it and many of his qualities as a human being are listed. As you can see, his name was Keith.Then my only son was killed 6 years ago while riding as a passenger in his friends BMW. The friend pulled out in front of a large truck at an intersection and it t-boned the passenger side where my son was sitting. Even though T.J was wearing a seatbelt, he was ejected from the vehicle and flew 90+ feet landing in the middle of the interstate. He was still strapped in his seat. Autopsy determined he died instantly from massive head trauma. His “friend” survived yet never so much as apologizedMy boy had just gotten married and his new bride collected 3.7 million dollars and never spoke to me again. The day she received the settlement she dropped my sons' remains off at my house in a ziplock bag. She now travels the world and takes all of her girlfriends along with her. While I struggle just to keep milk in my refrigerator. My son would be so pissed If he could see how she has conducted herself...He never would have married her.This is the last picture I took of him approx 2 weeks prior to his death. That grin is for me. The red Vette was his high school graduation gift and he’d been restoring it for years. He didn’t care much for new Corvettes. Always just wanted a 70’s era Stingray and of course, that’s exactly what I got him. No one could have deserved it more.What am I doing today?I keep to myself. I have few visitors. Actually one would be more precise. He’s a former chef at one of my restaurants who happens to acknowledge that he’s a Psychopath. (What is it about empathetic people that seem to draw the narcs straight to us?) The two of us have been tangling for years. I can’t get rid of him. Nothing but trouble, trouble, trouble.He comes around to terrorize me, steal my medical marijuana cartridges and gaslight me for entertainment while he’s here. I’m too afraid of him to stop him but it really sucks when he steals my weed carts. They help me a lot with my pain and the Multiple Sclerosis.I interact with only one other person. The elderly lady across the street. She is a hoarder who has difficulty getting to her dirty dishes so I go over and climb through the hoard and wash them for her.I honestly can’t wait to get this torture filled life of mine over with.It’s been a nightmare from day one. both of my parents were abusive alcoholics and narcissists with 11 marriages between them.I was told every day of my life, how they wished abortion had been legal in 1966 so they could have gotten rid of me. Also that I was a piece of shit. Worthless and good for nothing. Can u hear this? “Lisa, I wish you were never born!” “Yeah Mom, Yeah Dad, Me too!I was so neglected and abused that I didn’t speak until I was 4 years old. I can’t hear out of my left ear because my Dad hit me so hard that it burst my eardrum. This is the only photo I can find from when I was that little mute girl.Can you see the pain in my eyes? Can you see how badly I just want to be loved and cared for as I did with my son?I don’t know why someone didn’t question why I didn’t speak or why I was kept out of school for extended periods of time.I hope they are a little more vigilant nowadays.I was so bruised and battered that they’d have to keep me home from school so as to not alert authorities. It often took weeks for my bruises to fade enough so I could go back to school but I missed so much that I was kept back and deemed not ready to progress to the next grade. In spite of the fact that I have a tested I.Q of 142.For as far back as I can remember, I would pray to god every single night and I would beg him to please not let me wake up in the morning.Unfortunately, he didn’t listen. I soon came to the conclusion that there was no god because if there was, why would he allow me to suffer so much. I was just an innocent child.This has made me the Atheist I am today.How could this supposedly “loving god” allow such suffering and human atrocities to happen? Not just to me but to millions of others all over this vast planet.Why would a god who supposedly loves us more than any love we’ll ever know, burn us for eternity if we don’t do everything he says? Stupid shit too! Pay our money. Buy that spot in heaven and don’t ask too many questions.I’m sorry but will NEVER fall for the notion of an invisible man in the sky.Believe me, If anyone would like to believe such fairytales, it would be me!Everyone I ever loved is dead!God is my only chance of being reunited with them.After every death, they’d come knocking and tell me that bullshit. Use the tragic losses of my life to gain another parishioner. Tell me it’s the only way I’ll ever see my precious boy again. I tell them to go fuck themselves cause that’s evil.Nothing is right or fair in this world. I’ve seen the best people suffer and the nastiest ones skate through life without a care in the world. If I’m wrong and there is a god then he is one sadistic bastard.So in answer to your question~ My stepfather and my son are all the familial love I ever knew.Its been a very painful life for me and I agree with my parents. I wish abortion had been legal as well.However, I am not a piece of shit. I am a highly sensitive empath who tries to help everyone I see as less fortunate than myself…even though I have nothing.When I was wealthy I gave away the vast majority of my money to the hungry and the homeless. My heart breaks for them and for animals and children that are neglected and abused.Thank you for your thoughts and your comment. LisaIt really is the simple things that mean the most.Also, the cycle of abuse ended with me. I was determined that my child would never know the pain and suffering I endured. That he would never have a hand put on him unless it was with love! That he would know how deeply he was loved and how wonderful he was..and indeed, he was! So I accomplished both of those things.All you have to do is look at my sons' face and you can see the love and joy I poured into him. He brought me the greatest happiness in life and there are no words that express how much I miss him. It kills me a little more each day.The first thought in the morning, the last at night. All-day long since the day he took his last breath. April 25, 2013.He took great care of me while he was alive and when he moved out at the age of 24 it was to the house right next door. Our doors were less than 10 feet apart.I think that says a great deal about our relationship.Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. It touches me deeply that so many of you wonderful people have sent me messages and comments of love and encouragement. I love you all. Lisa EveI take comfort in one thing and only one thing. My son loved me right to death. This is one of my favorite pictures because he doesn’t need to say a single word.His smile says it all. That is love right there.The most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen!

1) The Wheel of Time Series by Robert JordanThis book is the definitive, classic fantasy series of our generation. Brandon Sanderson was chosen to finish the last several books in the series (after Robert Jordan passed) due to a similar writing-style. So if you like Brandon Sanderson, you’ll love this series. It is 14 books long but retains the same original, mesmerizing structure throughout it’s entirety. It never feels like it was expanded for commercial reasons, which is rare with large series.With a fan-base that includes most of the fantasy community and word-count nearly as huge, I highly reccomend this book, especially if you appreciate Rothfuss and Sanderson. It will keep you satisfied for a long time, and then there’s the rereads…2) Ender’s Game by Orson Scott CardI first read this book when I was in the third grade, and it was my undisputed favorite until well into middle school. This isn’t at all to say that it is a junior or youth-intended novel.In fact, Card said in the foreward of Ender’s Shadow that “it was never intended as a young-adult novel”, and that some of the reasons for its immense popularity with younger audiences was that “Ender's Game is centered around a child, while the sequels are about adults; perhaps more important, Ender's Game is, at least on the surface, a heroic, adventurous novel.”Also, I was also that one kid who read Crime and Punishment in primary school, if that has anything to say about it.Ender’s Game is intensely emotional, vividly intellectual, character-driven, and a painfully accurate tale of children confronting their inner demons. It is also, in my opinion and many others, one of the greatest Science Fiction novels of all time.It has won the Nebula Award for Best Novel, Science Fiction Chronicle Reader Award for Best Novel, and Hugo Award for Best Novel, the most prestigious award in Science Fiction, held by greats like Ray Bradbury for Fahrenheit 451.Perhaps the greatest thing about the book is the fact that—from a third-person limited perspective—the main character is a ruthless, calculating psychopath. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, and this is found through a deeply profound and, honestly, beautiful, insight of the protagonist (Ender) through his eyes.It takes place in a setting with aliens and spaceships and somehow manages to make all of that a backdrop for a brilliant psychological character study and an observation of group dynamics.3) The Kingkiller ChronicleI stopped counting how many times I read The Name of the Wind at the twentieth time through. Seriously. It has immensely impacted the way I write, my eloquence and diction, and truthfully—the way I see the world.It is a deeply intimate coming-of-age story of a brilliant boy, and the not-so-brilliant scenarios he becomes involved with. It is the brainchild of Patrick Rothfuss, a perfectionist who has worked music into his words. Each page has a subtle grace, an incredible intricacy that can leave you laughing, crying, or clenching the book in rabid anticipation.It is written impeccably—in such a fashion that the intelligent will experience a depth rarely found in the fantasy genre, yet balances it with action-packed scenes and rollicking story-telling.If you give it the time, it will reward you greatly.The worldbuilding is amazing, the characters three-dimensional, and the words are like magic. Truly a work of art; a song in everything but name.10/10 would recommend.4) The Gentlemen Bastards SeriesI would highly recommend the Gentlemen Bastards series by Scott Lynch. I’ve read them a few times, and every new read-through reveals more details—many of them humorous—that I had not teased from the text earlier. The worldbuilding is of similar quality to Sanderson and Rothfuss.It has the grander scope of The Way of Kings while still retaining the intimate story of The Name of the Wind. It sits next to them on my shelf. The main difference it has between those two books would be it’s humor—it’s a little more crass, but will leave you literally rolling with laughter. I have hurt myself more than once doing just that.5) A Song of Ice and FireI have yet to finish this series, but the first three have been on-par with any book I’ve read. Unlike, say, works by Rothfuss or Sanderson the magic system is considered “soft-magic”, meaning less detailed, more mystical. Despite that, the story and characters are anything but soft.This book is deeply engrossing; it’s characters possessing all of the dimensions that so many other books lack. This is the book that revolutionized the fantasy genre, inspiring other grim-and-gritty fantasy series like:6) The First LawThis book has—hands down—the best written characters of any series I have come across. You will find yourself sympathizing with a torturer, hating the dashing swordsman, and rooting for the uncultured barbarian, only to have those feelings completely blown away and reversed in the matter of a chapter, only to have them switched again.The author plays with your emotions like a bard would his lute—that is—often and with great skill. This book is not for the faint of heart, but for those who can stand the substantial cut of The Blade Itself, it will reward you with an intricate storyline and a narrative unparalleled.7) The Sword of Truth seriesRead this if you want a bit of a break but still a very good story. You won’t read anything you haven’t before, but the way it is written and relayed is extraordinary. The word choice is very good, and the worldbuilding remarkable. As I said, some consider this cliche and closer to a video-game than a book, but I still recommend it if you have free time. 7–8/108) The Broken Empire Series by Mark LawrenceThis vividly-written book takes the fantasy genre in a new direction. The main character is not a hero by any means, (the opening chapter shows him leading a gang of thieves to pillage a town), but you find yourself sympathizing with him all the same.This book is dark, brooding, and extremely well-written. It is fast-paced while balancing a great story-line. I found myself mesmerized by Lawrence’s first-person narrative yet horrified at the person I was reading about. But, beyond any doubt, this is a book that every fantasy fan should read at least once — and many will read over and over again.The teaser is as follows:“When he was nine, he watched as his mother and brother were killed before him. By the time he was thirteen, he was the leader of a band of bloodthirsty thugs. By fifteen, he intends to be king...It’s time for Prince Honorous Jorg Ancrath to return to the castle he turned his back on, to take what’s rightfully his. Since the day he hung pinned on the thorns of a briar patch and watched Count Renar’s men slaughter his mother and young brother, Jorg has been driven to vent his rage. Life and death are no more than a game to him—and he has nothing left to lose.But treachery awaits him in his father’s castle. Treachery and dark magic. No matter how fierce his will, can one young man conquer enemies with power beyond his imagining?”The series is currently six books long (all best-sellers) and will keep you busy—locked in morbid, adventurous fascination—for some time.9) The Harry Potter Series by J.K. RowlingAs millions of fans can claim, this book is magical in more ways than one.After reading the series numerous times, I can still open up to any book and feel a rush of happiness. Enthrallment in the story-line, passion for the style of writing, and love for the characters themselves.All of this goes to show that Rowling is astonishingly wise. She took this fantastical, unachievable world, and filled it with actual people. Not do-gooders with impossible strength, not perfect incarnations of light. No, she wrote about people. About their flaws. She showed how real people think. She painted the story of an average person and how they lived. She demonstrated with incredible accuracy how love really sets hold on a human heart.That is something so rarely achieved in fantasy, and it makes me happy to read over and over again.She immortalized this book in our hearts and minds as something real. With interactive elements and an entire world at your fingertips due to the extended franchise. It opens up role-play, movie watching, dedicated discussion groups. It offers something for the old and the young, introverted or extroverted. Reading over the course of the series, you get to see old friends grow up a world away. You get to know every aspect of them and grow to love them while having never seen them in your life.It is, in some ways, the perfect book.I may have outgrown it a bit, and look upon it less and less as the years go by, but it still never fails to make me smile.“After all this time?”“Always.”10) I have yet to find a series with better worldbuilding than The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson:As of yet, there’s only three books—but over three thousand pages and a planned cycle of ten novels of similar size. He spent over 15 years conceptualizing the idea, and has written, (in his words), “hundreds of thousands of words just in worldbuilding” for this series.Sanderson’s magnum opus has a richer world than nearly any other you will come across. Every detail is extremely vivid, each description gradually peeling a dust-cover away from the vast, colorful tapestry that is the world within The Stormlight Archive.This book has everything an avid and intelligent reader of fantasy could want. It has constantly evolving characters, massive battles and action, and subtle political intrigue. It is a story of assassins and artists, warriors and scholars, kings and the slaves that rule under them—all at the same time. It is told from many different perspectives to offer broad and contradicting views to the same events that occur.It takes Tolkien-level detail and combines it with heart-pounding action sequences and battle scenes, all written by an author with hands down the best magic-systems I’ve ever witnessed. It incites emotions and storms of thought to ensnare you, pulling you into a world of physical tempestuous turmoil and people full of suffering. Internal and external conflicts mix into an amalgam that paint the world into a breathtaking adventure.Mystery hides in every shadow—the line between history and myth blurring as intricate organizations throughout the world are revealed, their plans and purposes dubious at best.This is one of the best things I’ve ever read, hands-down. The author releases books far more often than some other known fantasy authors (not complaining, I swear, but *cough* Patrick Rothfuss. *cough*) so you’ll never wait too long for the next volume.If you want a book that will enthrall you, make you a better writer, and present you with thought-provoking philosophies at the same time, The Stormlight Archive is for you.I heartily recommend it.11) Another personal favorite of mine is the British-authored CHERUB series.Although the main character is just 13 in the first book, he is mature and ages quickly with the series, (ends with protagonist at 17 years old) making it likable for all ages. The premise is as follows:“CHERUB agents are highly trained, extremely talented--and all under the age of seventeen. For official purposes, these agents do not exist. They are sent out on missions to spy on terrorists, hack into crucial documents, and gather intel on global threats—all without gadgets or weapons. It is an exceptionally dangerous job, but these agents have one crucial advantage: adults never suspect that teens are spying on them. “It might sound a little childish—but honestly—I freaking love this series. The drama is perfectly executed, and the series as a whole is very realistic. It’s not, (let me repeat, NOT) like the move Spy Kids. There’s no super-secret-advanced tools used or anything. Instead, they demonstrate reconnaissance in the form of stealing documents and then trashing the place to cover it up, or pretending to be other people in the hopes of happening across important information.CHERUB has everything: heart-pounding action, excellent character development/flaws, romance, and just that cool spy element. Highly recommend.12) The Martian by Andy WeirEven if you normally dislike the science-fiction genre, you’ll love this book. It focuses less on unlikely future technology so much as the internal struggles of a man millions of miles from everything he’s ever known, and those people so far away who are trying to get him back home.And though this book seems on the surface to be a deeply introspective, novel, it’s hilarious. The main character has an evident sense of humor, utilized as a coping mechanism. One chapter, you’ll be clenching your side in laughter, and the next, gritting your teeth in animalistic anticipation.The teaser on Amazon says:“Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars.Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there.After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive—and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive.Chances are, though, he won't have time to starve to death. The damaged machinery, unforgiving environment, or plain-old "human error" are much more likely to kill him first.But Mark isn't ready to give up yet. Drawing on his ingenuity, his engineering skills—and a relentless, dogged refusal to quit—he steadfastly confronts one seemingly insurmountable obstacle after the next. Will his resourcefulness be enough to overcome the impossible odds against him?”This book is a step in the right direction. You’ll find no laser-guns here, but the message and emotional theme will be just as cutting.13) The Mistborn Trilogy by Brandon SandersonThis book takes your favorite classic story elements and utilizes them to flip the fantasy genre on it’s head. It’s a hybrid epic fantasy heist story with a focus on political intrigue and powerful action scenes.As Sanderson was writing this book, he wanted two central themes at the foundation:1) He knew he wanted a heist story, like Sneakers or Ocean’s Eleven involving a gang of gentlemen thieves who each had a distinctive magic power. He wanted to build an entire world and magic system to show how these people could work together, combining their magics to accomplish incredible tasks.2) And this is the interesting part: He wanted a story where the good-guys lost. That’s right. Everybody’s read the story of the poor peasant boy who discovers he has magic gifts and goes on a quest to defeat the Dark Lord. He posed the question: “What if the hero of the prophecy failed?” What if, in those final gripping moments of battle, the hero was slain and the Dark Lord took over the world?The author’s teaser is as follows:“A thousand years ago, the prophesied hero from lore rose up to overthrow a great and terrible evil. Only, he lost, and the Dark Lord took over and has been ruling with an iron fist for a thousand years.Ash falls from the sky in this barren land, and mists come every night, deep and mysterious. In this setting, a gang of thieves decides that the prophecies were all lies and that they can’t trust in some fabled hero to save them. They decide to take matters into their own hands, and plan a daring heist of the dark lord himself, planning to use the emperor’s own wealth to bribe his armies away from him and take over the empire.”However, this book is far from a “wham bam, thank you ma’am” type of novel. Although the heist is important, it takes a back seat to the development of the characters. Vin: distrustful orphan who spent her life on the streets. Unwilling to recognize what she is.She takes the typical flat orphan character and evolves it into an immensely complex and realistic person with thoughts and feelings outside of the fantasy norm.Kelsier: Charismatic group leader. Scoundrel, rogue, but a perfect person, right? Wrong. His flaws are slowly revealed, showing you his horrifying past while still bonding you to the character.Sanderson is a genius with building fantastical worlds that an ordinary person can still relate to, and characters who are more than their stereotype. As Orson Scott Card (Author of Ender’s Game and many more) said:“It’s rare for a fiction author to have much understanding on how leadership works or how love really takes root in the human heart. Sanderson is astonishingly wise.”This book is amazing. It wraps you up in the storyline, and makes you stay for the characters. With Sandersons’s hallmark intricate magic-system and prodigious worldbuilding combined with an innovative theme, this series will be one you’ll read again and again.…Writing about this has given me the indubitable urge to re-read this book…Au revoir!~~~Edit : Just finished re-reading Mistborn: The Final Empire. I laughed, cried, and generally made a fool of myself to all onlookers. Just as great the second time around.Edit II: After a huge amount of recommendations in the comments for me to read The Malazan Book of the Fallen, I bought it yesterday and shall read it just as soon as I finish Frank Herbert’s Dune. From what I’ve read about it and the raves in the comments, I expect there will soon be an addition to this answer!