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As everything worth considering in this life, the answer is not that simple.I am married to a man with a severe disability -thankfully, one that does not impair his cognition or his health. I advocate for him, and for him to have a full, happy and healthy life. And even after realizing that it is possible to have a meaningful and happy life even with a severe disability - if I were in your shoes, I would consider several things before making a decision.First: How severe is the disability?: It is very different to have a child with cerebral palsy or Down’s syndrome than one that has far more life-threatening or painful or non-treatable conditions. For example, one of my cousins had not one, but two, children with Sanfilippo syndrome - Wikipedia. In a country with limited access to pre-natal testing, and much less abortion, having these children has been nothing but a tragedy for them, but most importantly, for the children. Imagine spending all your life confined to a bed, without the ability to say if something hurts you or if you are in pain, being prodded and poked every time you develop pneumonia because your lung function has gone to shit. Thankfully, they had the means to care for them, but then, we get to the second point:Do you have the means to care for this child?: Being a caregiver of a chronically ill person is extremely expensive. I am talking of mid five-figures a year! for someone that requires only stand by care. Caregiving costs can easily climb to the six-figures if we are talking about someone that requires specialized assistant such as nurses and respiratory technicians. Mobility equipment, health insurance, CNA’s, adaptive housing, physical therapists, hospital equipment - all of this costs a pretty penny, here in the US and everywhere. Not only that, but your ability to work and make a living will be severely impaired the next time your child needs to be hospitalized for the umpteenth time.Third, do you have a strong support network? If you are married, is your marriage stable? Do you have an extensive network of friends and family that can offer respite care?. Do you live in a country where your child can have access to community services in adulthood? What will happen to your child if you are out of the picture, either by age or disability? If you have other children, do you think that they will be in the position to assume the care-giving role if necessary?Fourth, do you have fertility issues? If your ability to become pregnant is severely impaired, it may make sense to bring a child to the world, even if they have a severe disability.Fifth, how would this disability affect other children that you may have? The cost, time and stress of caring of someone with a disability is enormous, and it will definitely affect your other children. The cost alone can affect even if your child goes to college, or even their job prospects (if they have to assume the care-giving role in adulthood). Even in the best case scenario, children may act out as a result of the stress Caring for Siblings of Sick or Disabled Children.It is possible to lead a happy life with a disability (or caring for someone that does)- but it ain’t easy, and not everybody is cut for it. And even this happy life means taking irreversible, and sometimes cold decisions. In our case, we decided against having children despite longing for them - because a) something happened to me, unfortunately we did not have the means to care for both my husband and the children; and b) the cost of motherhood alone would severely limit the quality of care and life that both of us would have.Whatever choice you make, make sure that is an educated one. Research support groups, visit hospitals that deal with this specific conditions, research online for people that are in those shoes. But my suggestion? base your decisions in facts, more than emotion. Emotion will help you cope, but facts will help you act.

I’m Indonesian and happily married to a beautiful Filipina. I finished my college in Manila and therefore know very well about the country and its people. When I was a Freshman, my peers thought I was snob because I always answer their questions in English (not in Tagalog) and my teachers thought I was a loner since I didn’t mingle with the others after class. But they were all very kind and helpful to me, even before they find out that I was a foreigner. And that was when I realized how much they value others and how open and compassionate they are. And that was also the era when everything was so cheap for us due to very favorable Rupiah-Dollar-Peso rate. I studied in the top 3 university there and which was also considered the most expensive (along with Ateneo de Manila), but my complete expenses including annual tuition + living allowance + return tickets were much cheaper compared to those of my Indonesian friend who studied in the top 3 university in Jakarta, living with his parents and chauffeur-driven to and from the school. He couldn’t believe it himself.Edit: One more thing about my peers. Although I studied in one of the most expensive universities in Manila and most of the students belong to the rich and famous families, I hardly noticed it, they are all so good-natured and not snob at all. Since I wasn’t used to famous Filipino family names, I only know that my seatmate was YYYYY Cojuangco, and the one to my left side was R….l Santiago, and somebody else came from the ‘Sy’ family, to name a few. If it was in Indonesia, I would most probably stayed away from them, not because I don’t like to have good connections, but it would be a waste of my time, not to mention my patience in dealing with snob people. I didn’t even know that one is the son of a prominent movie director, and that he himself would become a famous star and subsequently a successful movie director, he’s just so friendly. And so many years later when I was in Manila with my wife, we saw him in a restaurant, and nonchalantly he approached and greeted us. I was actually hesitant to make the first move because I wasn’t sure whether he would still be the same humble person after all the public attention he’s getting, but I was wrong! That’s how it is with Filipinos.And another good example of Filipino hospitality/generosity: My late father had several important friends in the Philippines due to his active contributions to sports, namely Softball/Baseball and Golf, and he always lead the Indonesian teams in international sports-meetings like SEA Games. One of them is the late Gov. Rodriguez of Rizal province, who was the Father of Softball in the Philippines. When I was arranging for my wedding in Manila, my Dad told me to invite the Governor, which I did very reluctantly, with visions of being politely rejected. Afterall, who am I? But lo and behold, when I visited his residence with my fiancee (who incidentally hailed from Rizal), he welcomed us warmly, and he mentioned how he remembered fondly my father, and so on. And he did attend our wedding with his wife, which made for a very happy re-union with my father. I can only imagine what would happen if I invited an Indonesian governor, who hasn’t met with my father for a long time, to our special day. For sure I wouldn’t even be allowed to enter his residence, much less a “Who are you?” question.And with the prevalence of universities there, from the cheapest to the most expensive, most of the population is very highly educated. I had a friend living in the house of an Indonesian diplomat, and his English was not that good. In his freshman year, the housemaid would help him with his homework. How so? Because the maid had already finished college, that’s why, and with no better job available to her, she became a maid just to help support her family while trying to get a better one. Such is the condition of Filipino overseas workers abroad. They are 99.9% likely to have good college degrees but were forced to look for greener pastures in other countries. So they will grab whatever job/jobs they can get, all the while looking for white collar jobs in offices. Sadly to say for Indonesian overseas workers, most of them have yet to finish grade school, and probably do not posses the necessary skill even to work as house helpers.Others have mentioned about less cigarette smoke in the country, which is true nowadays (and a heavenly perk for living there) due to more successful government restrictions, but during my college days it was as bad as in Indonesia now. And I like driving in Manila, even during rush hours, because of less motorcycles (and therefore less pesky riders) on the road. Filipinos really value their families, hence they would rather use very old cars than risking their loved ones being cramped into a motorcycle, which is very common here in Indonesia, and which is very dangerous. And then not even providing helmets for those riding with them. And somehow, the streets in the Philippines are bigger, since they are used to big American cars.And another perk of the streets there involves 2 particular Toyota models (Innova and Avanza), or rather, lack of. Unlike Jakarta, there are only a limited number of the above mentioned cars, and a lot of other choices of cars, which is refreshing.Filipinos don’t really care whether the cars came from (or designed in) Japan or not and embrace cars from other countries, as long as they are good and backed by solid after-sales services. So not only Toyota, Honda, Mazda and Nissan thrive, but so do Chrysler, Kia/Hyundai, Chevrolet, Ford, Alfa Romeo, Fiat, and even Chinese brands like BAIC, BYD, Chery, FAW, FOTON, Geely, among others. And car prices are also lower in the Philippines. While the mentality of Indonesians are (sadly), aside from Japanese cars, other car brands are difficult to maintain, expensive parts, bla-bla-bla, even without trying or knowing those cars. Sometimes I feel so confined and bored when driving in Jakarta streets due to so many ‘generic cars’everywhere you look, and the preference of Indonesians to choose black as the color of their cars. I ordered an Uber in Manila (sadly long gone) and the app informed me that the car was B.Y.D. Uh oh, Chinese car, I said to myself. But was pleasantly surprised when the car arrived, it was very nice, looks like the 2nd generation of Toyota Altis and felt solid and quiet, with a luxurious interior (leather, wood panel, automatic trans) complete with a sunroof.Just try that in Indonesia and I can tell you that 99% of the time you’d get that plain Jane ‘generic car’ I was talking about, Toyota Avanza, with mediocre ride, uncomfortable seats, noisy, and uncomfortable gearing of the manual transmission.A long time ago, when I first came there as a child, Makati (the financial center of Manila), looked like any big city in the US, with wide streets and wide sidewalks, lots of open space, and generally very clean and good cityscaping. Today, the description is still valid, except that there are a bit less open space and a lot more tall buildings.And then there is another very nice and modern city-within-a-city in Manila called Bonifacio Global City (BGC).This is truly the "In" place in Manila and located less than 10 minutes from Makati.Speaking of transportation, Filipinos are much more mobile than Indonesians. You see a lot of public transportation around big cities almost always full of people, from the colorful Jeepneys (traditional minibus)to big buses to LRT (Light Rail Transport) and MRT (which, incidentally, would only be enjoyed by Indonesians from 2019, or 34 years after the first LRT system started operating in Manila). That is very good for the economy. The only thing lacking there is taxis. Filipinos in Indonesia love riding taxis here because the cabs are mostly clean and reliable. Taxis in the Philippines are not as many as before, and those in operation are, sadly, not properly maintained. That’s why Filipinos now prefer online taxis like Uber.Regarding health care and medicines, Indonesia is sorely left behind. Starting from PhilHealth (Philippine Health Insurance Corporation) which is much better all around than Indonesian BPJS, to the many and affordable hospitals around, to cheap medicines (not necessarily generic as in Indonesia), and more than enough good doctors than the country can absorb. Although my wife had stopped working after we got married, up to now she is still being supported by PhilHealth. And despite so many people needing medical assistance, the services in hospitals are so admirably fast and to the point (unlike here wherein doctors sometimes fail to inform patients of dangerous side effects of medicines and are generally annoyed when people keep asking questions about their illness). Edit: And thanks to an inexplicable reason, drugstores in Indonesia are fond of pasting their own store labels directly covering the text containing dosage/contraindication on medicine bottles/tubes, thereby you can read only the dosage from the doctor, me and my wife make sure that we check the dosage/contraindications first on MIMS Online or app.One time my wife had to be confined in NKTI (National Kidney & Transplant Institution) in Manila and after I paid the bill (finished in less than 20 minutes by the way) then proceeded to leave, they called us again for a slight miscalculation on a medicine. Expecting to wait for sometime because of so many people in line, the revised bill came out in just 5 minutes. Impressive! Try that with any of the big hospitals here in Indonesia. To think that NKTI is a government hospital. And contrary to what Indonesians might believe, the best place to go when you have kidney problems is the NKTI in Manila, and not some big hospitals in China.Even when it comes to everyday things like going to mini-markets, the service is almost instantaneous, just like in big supermarkets. That’s why I was so surprised when local mini-market chain Alfamart opened it’s outlets in Manila, because the Alfa I know have verrrry slow services, and certainly out of tune with 7-Eleven chains in the Philippines. Well, maybe they adjusted to the local culture and if so, good luck to them. We were just terribly sad when Indonesian 7-Eleven chains closed shop, because my children will miss so many of their menu, especially the heavenly Slurpee.I was raised in a good family with very close extended families, but that was nothing compared to my wife’s family. They are all very gentle, very hospitable (as any Filipino), and ready to help anybody in need, and not to mention, very humble and friendly. I don’t have to mention about religion and religious tolerance because it is a fact of life. There are churches everywhere, so if you are a Christian, you should be ashamed if you don’t attend mass or even visit any church when you’re there. And religious intolerance? What intolerance? Moslems in the Philippines are very lucky, even though they are the minority.Sadly to say as a Catholic in Indonesia, I see a lot of religious intolerances and persecutions in my own country, so spending Christmas in the Philippines is like a fresh breath of mountain air. My children love spending Christmas vacations with their relatives there. Everywhere you go, Christmas is truly in the air and people flock to the shopping areas with gusto. And they do buy things, lots of them, not just windowshopping like most Indonesians do, even during the days leading to Idul Fitri or the equivalent of Christmas for Moslems.Edit: And I should add here regarding shopping in Manila. Aside from big names in apparels and cosmetics, which are similar in both countries (with similar prices, except for goods coming from the US), I can find a lot more small things in Manila than in Jakarta like gadgets, outdoors equipment, sporting goods, electronics, etc. Just a walk through Greenhills shopping arcade, especially during December-January, is enough to see the difference. Well, you can argue that you can browse and order such things online, but it is always better to see them in front of you and handling it before buying/haggling. And how can you order something if you didn’t even know that it exists? I love the hardware stores in the Philippines. I can literally spend hours just looking around for interesting and useful items in the big stores of True Value in Manila. There used to be True Value stores here in Jakarta but sadly they’re gone, leaving just the boring (local) ACE Hardware chains and a much smaller alternative, Glodok Elektronik. Even SM (Shoe Mart) Hardware stores offer better selections than ACE. The problem with Indonesian hardware (and car accessories) stores is simply lack of choices. You go to one car accessories center and go from shop to shop and finding exactly the same selections of goods, which are mostly made in China and Japan. So generic and boring. While in the Philippines, there are a lot more goods coming from the US and Europe.And as others have said, the beaches in the Philippines are some of the most beautiful in the world, and very affordable too.Indonesians might argue that we also have some of the most beautiful in the world, but sadly and inexplicably, those places are unbearably costly to visit, while a plane ride to Palawan (with some of the best beaches in the Philippines) from Manila only cost $60, the cheapest flight from Jakarta to Raja Ampat islands near the Eastern tip of Indonesia would cost $120. And don’t forget the hospitability of the people, especially those in the tourism business. I even got a very nice surprise from one of their airlines: What is your best or worst experience flying with Cebu Pacific? And the fact that most Filipinos can speak English. I was able to pursue scuba diving cheaply during college and racked up more than a hundred dives, which only cost a fraction of the price if I do it in Indonesia. I was always into skin-diving as a kid, but never imagine myself to go all the way to scuba diving, since the cost was so prohibitive in my own country. As a comparison, I once joined a three days dive cruise with college friends which amazingly cost me only around $70, including all the foods that you can eat, free tank rentals and tank refills. Granted, that was so many years ago, but if I did that in Indonesia at that time, it would cost me at least $200.The food. Ah, the food. When it comes to food, frankly speaking Indonesian foods are tastier. Period. Sorry my Filipino relatives and friends, but those who have tasted Indonesian foods will surely know. Don’t get me wrong. I like sweet Filipino chicken like Aristocrat and steak and cakes and Halo-halo and dried mangoes (which is different and much better than the local version here), but wouldn’t miss them (my youngest daughter will get mad at me because she loves Jollibee). And I’m sure by now many Filipinos have tried the ‘famous’ instant noodle Indomie Mi Goreng (Fried Noodle) from Indonesia. Well, if you tried the ones being sold in somesuper/minimarkets in Manila, you’re still missing the remaining 20% of the original taste. You should try the original instant Mie Goreng being brought into the country as pasalubong, and you won’t go back to the local version. It is that good! I think they reduced the ingredients of the seasoning for local consumption. What a pity. This is actually a clue for Filipinos to ask for simple pasalubong from your Indonesian friend/s who will visit the country, and a much appreciated gift for Indonesians visiting the Philippines. Just bring 10 packs of these and everything will be OK.And speaking of security and contrary to what other people had said, in all the time that I spent in that country, never did I experience any crime or felt threatened in any way. During college, I used to go alone at night riding the LRT almost end-to-end from Pasay to SM City at the other end of the first LRT line at that time, just to catch re-runs of old James Bond movies, and going home past 10pm, without any incident. Actually, I always feel safer there than in my own country.Well, there you have it. Do I recommend Indonesians to go to the Philippines? Highly. Although with some reservations like be prepared to bring your own ‘sambal’ (hot chili sauce) since most restaurants there do not provide such. I myself don’t depend on sambal on my food, unless it is really meant to be eaten with it, but I know a lot of Indonesians who simply can’t live without a lot of hot chili sauce on their plates. And also be prepared to be greeted in Tagalog as most Filipinos like to greet each other in their own language, and like so many have said, Indonesians are pretty indistinguishable from Filipinos. Simply say politely in English that you don’t speak Tagalog and they will understand. It’s also not a bad idea to google for some everyday Tagalog words that you can use in simple conversations in the store, in the airport, in the hotel, restaurants, etc. Even if you only stay for a few days, there is always time to go around Manila and visit historical places like Intramuros (the old city)Fort SantiagoCorregidor island tourand of course, the famous sunset at Manila Bay, where you can choose to eat at numerous restaurants along the bay, after a good stroll.BTW, the best time to visit the Philippines are from December-February where the weather is slightly cooler and typhoon season should have ended. Long time ago during college days, we even enjoyed going to school wearing jackets when the temperature dipped below 30 degrees Celcius during midday and low 20s in the evening in the ‘cool breeze of December’, just like in the song. Enjoy your stay!Edit: Thank you very much for all the comments, upvotes, and shares. Maraming salamat!

1. OYOWith a global headcount of 4,700, OYO is on an expansion spree. Headquartered in Gurugram, the 5-year-old hospitality startup is already India’s largest hotel network with more than 100,000 rooms in 230 cities (compared to Marriott’s 23,000 and Taj Hotels’ 17,000). Over the last nine months, the budget hotel brand has ventured into Malaysia, China and the UK.2. Cure.FitBengaluru-based wellness startup, Cure.Fit has four offerings: no-equipment gyms, health food, yoga and meditation centres, and primary care. With a global headcount of 120, the company just raised $120 million from existing investors and acquired premium gym chain Fitness First in a deal worth $30-35 million.3. Dunzo - Your to-do list saviorBengaluru-based Dunzo has the distinction of being Google's first direct startup investment in India and is fast becoming a verb in Bengaluru. With a global headcount of 160, users of the concierge services venture are “dunzoing” everything from buying groceries to picking up laundry and arranging last-minute gifts.4. RivigoGurugram-based Rivigo attained near-unicorn status recently when it raised $50 million at a valuation of $945 million. Why are investors betting on the logistics services firm? With a global headcount of 3,700, the company is a unique driver relay model that reduces turnaround time, marquee clients such as Maruti Suzuki, ITC and Marks & Spencer, and a freight e-marketplace that's already India's biggest.5. Digit InsuranceThe Bengaluru-based online general insurer says that 87 percent of its claims are approved in 24 hours. With a global headcount of 630, Digit believes in simplifying processes: every insurance product is explained to customers in a 2-page document. Billionaire Prem Watsa's Fairfax Holdings recently put $44 million more in the two-year-old startup.6. LBB - Little Black BookThe Delhi-based Little Black Book (or LBB) started as a Tumblr blog with an initial investment of Rs 80,000 before it morphed into an online platform for cultural goings-on. With a global headcount of 80, its recommendations span everything from food and fashion to theatre and shopping across eight cities. Presently, the company is busy scaling up its curated marketplace for local products and events.7. Republic WorldWith a global headcount of 400, Arnab Goswami's Republic TV has ruled viewership ratings in the English news genre since its launch in May 2017, but bigger rival Times Now seems to be clawing its way back. The Mumbai-based Republic was successful in monetising eyeballs and went on to clock Rs 155 crore in revenue for FY18. But the channel is often accused of having a pro-establishment stance and being over-dependent on Goswami.8. The MinimalistA bootstrapped design agency, The Minimalist started as a Facebook page for witty content. With a global headcount of 60, Mumbai-based startup works with clients such as Saint-Gobain, Bharti Airtel, Berkshire Hathaway, Coca-Cola and Abbott. The last fiscal year was a watershed moment for The Minimalist, one in which its revenue and headcount doubled.9. RazorpayBengaluru-based online payment solutions provider, Razorpay, now services more than 100,000 businesses, including names such as Bharti Airtel, IRCTC and Goibibo. With a global headcount of 230, the company is clocking a monthly growth of 35% and it bagged $20 million in a Series B funding round led by Tiger Global and Y Combinator earlier this year.10. NineleapsBengaluru-based Nineleaps accelerates product development for other startups by providing web and mobile application services. With a global headcount of 200, it's expanding into new markets such as Singapore and Indonesia and diversifying into data science, blockchain and other emerging fields.11. Innov8 CoworkingNew Delhi-based Innov8 says it’s in the business of building entrepreneurs. With a global headcount of 75, the Y-Combinator-backed coworking venture has 13 centres across the country. This year, Innov8 aspires to add 100 employees and treble its seat count to 12,000.12. SchbangMumbai-based Schbang is a digital solution agency that also dabbles in original content. With a global headcount of 240, it counts marquee names — Ashok Leyland, Hot Wheels, Amazon Fashion, and RAW Pressery — as clients. Schbang wants to be India’s first agency export and plans to open an international office next year.13. Acko General InsuranceMumbai-based Acko raised $30 million even before its launch and went on to bag $12 million from Amazon exactly a year later. With a global headcount of 115, the digital insurance firm solves everyday pain points with solutions such as in-trip covers for Ola users and screen protection for devices. Its biggest draw is personalised policies based on user behaviour.14. Treebo HotelsWith a global headcount of 795, Bengaluru-based Treebo scorched its way to 9,000 rooms in three years. The budget hotel chain’s headcount grew by 18% over the past year but it laid off a tenth of the workforce in July, shortly after the data window for this list closed. Bigger rival OYO’s strong investor backing, rapid growth and its rekindled partnership with travel site MakeMyTrip are hurting Treebo, media reports suggest. Treebo did not respond to a LinkedIn survey.15. InCredMumbai-based InCred offers personal, education and home loans as well as credit to small and medium-sized businesses. With a global headcount of 1,000, the firm counts former Deutsche Bank co-CEO Anshu Jain as a backer and has secured the banking regulator’s nod for launching wholesale lending operations.16. JumbotailBengaluru-based Jumbotail is a B2B e-marketplace that connects neighbourhood stores with their suppliers. With a global headcount of 125, the Nexus Venture Partners-backed startup also provides shopfront delivery of groceries and arranges working capital credit for store owners through its lending partners.17. Zapr Media LabsWith a global headcount of 110, Bengaluru-based Zapr Media analyses TV viewership data to provide actionable insights to broadcasters, advertisers and media agencies. To date, the media-tech startup has raised $13 million from Star India, Flipkart, Saavn and Micromax, among others.18. BrowserStackAfter being bootstrapped for 7 years, Mumbai-based BrowserStack hit the headlines for the largest ever Series A funding round of $50 million, led by Accel Partners. With a global headcount of 165, as many as 2 million developers and more than 25,000 paying customers — including Disney, Tesco, and Facebook — use its mobile app and web-testing platform.19. Udaan: India's B2B Marketplace of Retailers, Manufacturers, Traders, WholesalersFounded by three former Flipkart executives, Bengaluru-based Udaan: India's B2B Marketplace of Retailers, Manufacturers, Traders, Wholesalers is an online B2B marketplace for food, clothing and electronics. With a global headcount of 401, the company became the fastest Indian startup to bag unicorn status and expanded its reach to more than 500 cities.20. SigTupleWith a global headcount of 120, Bengaluru-based SigTuple applies robotics and AI to make medical screening tests more accurate. Its offerings include smart hematology analyser Shonit and AI100, a low-cost device that digitises pathology slides. The team has applied for 19 patents in the US and India.21. Online Courses & Education Programs for Professionals | UpGradWith a global headcount of 390, Mumbai-based online educator Online Courses & Education Programs for Professionals | UpGrad offers industry-relevant courses in subjects such as digital marketing, data science and product management. Co-founded by media magnate Ronnie Screwvala, the startup claims to have empowered more than 300 career transitions in the last year and has earmarked 200 crore for expansion in Southeast Asia and the Middle East.22. InterviewBitWith a global headcount of 45, InterviewBit is a preparation site for tech jobs. The Pune-based self-funded startup also sources pre-screened technical talent for coveted employers such as Facebook, Amazon, Uber and Flipkart.23. ShuttlWith a global headcount of 300, Gurugram-based bus aggregation startup Shuttl recently raised $11 million from Amazon, Dentsu Ventures and existing investors including Sequoia Capital. The company clocks 45,000 daily rides in five cities. It aims to expand to two new cities by the end of the year, even as experts feel achieving healthy unit economics remains a challenge.24. MeeshoWith a global headcount of 225, Bengaluru-based reseller marketplace Meesho uses social media platforms like WhatsApp and Facebook to connect sellers directly with suppliers. In June, the Y Combinator-backed firm raised $11.5 million in Series B funding from Sequoia India and a bunch of existing investors.25. Exadatum Software ServicesWith a global headcount of 70, Exadatum positions itself as a one-stop shop for everything Big Data. Pune-based company offerings make Big Data implementation faster, cheaper and standardised for Fortune 500 clients, the two-year-old venture says. Exadatum’s next target — developing products and rendering services in machine learning and artificial intelligence.YOU CAN ADDFLIPCART AND SNAP DEAL- BUT they remain confined to indian borders with fundings from overseas ompanies.