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As a landlord, what was your most difficult and costly eviction experience?

I rented out my house while I was working interstate as a private rental, a big mistake in hindsight.For the first 6 months, it was fine, then I got a letter from the council saying if the grass wasn’t cut, they would do it and charge me the cost.hmmmmThis didn’t sound good!Asked a friend to drive by and take some photos.OMFGThe front veranda was completely filled with junk, but that was OK, as it couldn’t be seen from the street due to the overgrown grass, which by that stage was about chest high in places.A long process, almost a year, started with clean it up or you are out, ending up in court where she was evicted, mind you she hasn’t paid a cent in rent since I told her to clean the place up.Finally she was evicted by the sheriffs, locks changed by the locksmiths and I get a phone call from them, that there is an issue with the property as the back door is missing and they can’t secure it.WHAT?I get photos of the entire place, and it is terrifying.EVERY room is filled with junk, to the ceilings, tiny little alleys to move around in.It cost me over 5 GRAND to have the house and yard emptied, 3 DUMP TRUCKS FULL!Because she couldn't get into the bathroom to have a shower or bath, she had taken the shower head off and run a hose out into the hall and apparently had her baths there… NO DRAIN, so the floor is ruined, as are the floor beams beneath, completely rotted out.Threw out the stove as it had over a dozen dead mice in it and hadn’t been cleaned since she moved in I think.Total cost of repairs was in excess of $35000YIKES!In that time she paid $4500 in rent.That house sat empty for the next three years until I moved back, I paid a gardening firm to maintain the yards and got it cleaned once a month, but never rented it again.Never rent out a place on a private agreement, and even through an agent is risky.I have rented in the past, but considering the stories I have heard, I don’t know why people would even bother renting out a house any more, which of course makes it harder to find places to rent.People like that make it hard for everyone else, renters and landlords alike.

What are some bad ideas you've had?

I tried siphoning gas out of my own car. Didn’t work. Got high instead. I don’t recommend.Dropped out of high school once. Went back, dropped out again.Dropped out of college once. Went back, dropped out again.Started a landscape business and passed out fliers throughout the entire city of Austin, and surrounding areas. Spent more money on gas than I made mowing lawns.Pro-tip: condense your client base to one area.Stole a television from a private Christian school. Got stolen later and sold for a bag of weed.Signed a rental agreement with two gutter punks from Midland Texas. They’re the ones that sold my TV for a bag of weed. Dicks.Tried buying ecstasy when I was 18. Never tried it before. Ended up being the most expensive Tylenol ever.Pro-tip: know your drug dealers.More Pro-tip: don’t do drugs.Got drunk and peed in a lot of places one should not pee in.Got drunk in a lot of places one should not get drunk in.Quit my job to go on a road trip with a woman I hardly knew, for four months.Tried forcing my way, Texas style, through a snow storm in Iowa with my pick-up. Ended up stranded and camped out for 10 hours waiting for a tow truck. That was kinda fun, though.Pretty much every time I said, “Hold my beer.”Started smoking cigarettes.Moved to Minnesota for a woman.Not enough room to list all of my ill-advised first dates.Didn’t know what to do with the extra kerosene in my gas lamp, while camping. Decided to dump it in the fire pit. Boom.Wore a phone holster on my hip. For years. Why?!Used Axe Body Spray. WHY?!?Tried towing my car with rope. Rope broke. Car just get going, and going, and going….. Boom.Impromptu trip to the Texas coast. Hurricane ended up touching down. Went anyway. Whoosh.When I was 5, decided to try out my grandpa's kick ass combine on the farm. Ma' was pissed.Worked for a retail warehouse when I was younger. Drank a lot. Went to work inebriated. Drove fork lift. They’re probably still cleaning that shit up. Suntan lotion EVERYWHERE.Throwing hay into the barn loft. Stack starts tall, 6 bales high, making it easy to toss in the barn. At 1 stack, kept throwing. Should have walked them up. Bales start to get heavy after 200 of them. Threw bale up, missed, bale fell down on head. Gravity, thou art a fickle bitch.Back at the ranch, we had a longhorn named Gabriel. Gabriel was just bought by another rancher, and needed to be loaded into the trailer. Gabriel wouldn’t budge, so got rope. Wrapped rope around Gabriel’s horns. Longhorns, apparently, take issue with that. Boom.Allergic to shellfish. Still eat shellfish. It’s fucking delicious, ok? Walk it off.Pretty much any time I drink tequila.

How do I get rid of renters on my property living in a camper on the same property I reside? They don’t even have full electricity in the camper, and no water.

Evict them.If they have a rental agreement or lease, you will have to wait until those are up. Then you evict them. The sheriff will put a notice on their door. Once that happens, depending on the state, you can call a tow truck and place the trailer in impound or you can put a lock on the door and they can't come on your property. Then it's up to you to get rid of it.Remember one thing. Some tenants are very, very vindictive. They might burn your house down with you in it. So, be very careful. Give them chances. If they don't straighten up, then you, start eviction proceedings. Do it legal.

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