Missing Daily Physical Activity Log I Assignment #1 - Moscrop: Fill & Download for Free

How find a way in your life?I explain this concept from a story.Michael was happy. A popular boy living in a small college town in central California, he played sports, hung out with his friends, and enjoyed the fairly carefree life that comes with being a popular boy who plays sports and hangs out with his friends. Michael didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about or planning for the future.He just did whatever was in front of him, and life seemed to work out fine. His mother, however, had plans. Lots of plans. She planned for Michael to go to college, chose where he would apply, and even chose what he would major in. This resulted in Michael’s attending Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo and majoring in civil engineering. Michael wasn’t particularly invested in being a civil engineer; he was simply following Mom’s plan.He did fine in his major and graduated from college. Michael then fell in love with Skylar, who was finishing her degree and moving to Amsterdam to take a corporate consulting job. Michael followed Skylar and took a perfectly good civil-engineering position in Amsterdam, where he did a decent job.Michael was again happily following a path in life that had been chosen for him, and not once having stopped to consider what he wanted to do or who he wanted to become. He had never articulated his Lifeview or Workview and had always let other people steer his course and determine his direction. It had worked well enough so far.After Amsterdam, Michael traveled back to California with Skylar (now his wife), who found a great job she loved; Michael took a job in a nearby civil-engineering firm. That’s when the trouble began. He was doing all the things respectable civil engineers do—but he was bored, restless, and miserable. His newfound misery left him confused. He had no idea where to go or what to do.Work is not supposed to be enjoyable; that’s why theyFor the first time in his life, his plan wasn’t working, and, without a direction, Michael felt absolutely lost.Dysfunctional Belief: call it to work.Reframe: Enjoyment is a guide to finding the right work for you.Lots of people had advice for Michael. A few friends suggested he start his own civil-engineering practice, believing that his problem was due to his working for someone else. His father-in-law told him, “You’re a smart guy. You’re an engineer, so you know your math. You should be in finance. You should be a stockbroker.”Michael thought about all the many suggestions and started calculating how he could quit his job and go back to school to study finance, or maybe go to business school. He considered all of these options because, frankly, he wasn’t sure what the problem was. Had he failed as a civil engineer? Had civil engineering failed him? Was he just supposed to put up with it? After all, it was only a job, right?Wrong.Finding Your WayWayfinding is the ancient art of figuring out where you are going when you don’t actually know your destination. For wayfinding, you need a compass and you need a direction. Not a map—a direction. Think of the American explorers Lewis and Clark. They didn’t have a map when Jefferson sent them out to travel through the land acquired in the Louisiana Purchase and make their way to the Pacific.While wayfinding to the ocean, they mapped the route (140 maps, to be exact). Wayfinding your life is similar. Since there’s no one destination in life, you can’t put your goal into your GPS and get the turn-by-turn directions for how to get there. What you can do is pay attention to the clues in front of you, and make your best way forward with the tools you have at hand. We think the first clues are engagement and energy.EngagementCivil engineering hadn’t failed Michael. He just wasn’t paying attention to his life, and all he knew was that something wasn’t working. At thirty-four years old, Michael didn’t know what he liked and what he didn’t like. When he came to us for help, he was on the verge of upending his life and career completely, and for no good reasons. We had him spend a few weeks doing a simple logging assignment at the end of every workday.Michael wrote down when during the day he had been feeling bored, restless, or unhappy at his job, and what exactly he had been doing during those times (the times when he was disengaged). He also wrote down when he was excited, focused, and having a good time at work, and what exactly he was doing during those times (the times when he was engaged). Michael was working on what we call the Good Time Journal.Why did we have Michael do this (and, yes, we’re going to ask you to do it, too)? Because we were trying to get him to catch himself in the act of having a good time. When you learn what activities reliably engage you, you’re discovering and articulating something that can be very helpful in your life design work. Remember that designers have a bias to action—which is just another way of saying that we pay a lot of attention to doing things, and not just to think about things. Logging when you are and aren’t engaged and energized will help you pay attention to what you’re doing and discover what’s working.Flow: Total EngagementFlow is engagement on steroids. Flow is that state of being in which time stands still, you’re totally engaged in an activity, and the challenge of that particular activity matches up with your skill—so you’re neither bored because it’s too easy nor anxious because it’s too hard. People describe this state of engagement as “euphoric,” “in the zone,” and “freakin’ awesome.”The flow was “discovered” by Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who has been researching this phenomenon since the 1970s. When he first described the state of flow, he had studied the detailed activities of thousands of people going about their daily lives and was able to isolate this very special form of intense engagement.People inflow report the experience as having these sorts of attributes:•Experiencing complete involvement in the activity.•Feeling a sense of ecstasy or euphoria.•Having great inner clarity—knowing just what to do and how to do it.•Being totally calm and at peace.•Feeling as if time were standing still—or disappearing in an instant.Flow can happen during almost any physical or mental activity, and often when both are combined. Dave goes into the flow while editing minute details in a class lesson plan, or out on his sailboat, trimming the sails as it heels into a rising wind. Bill admits to being a flow junkie and finds advising students, sketching in his idea log, or chopping an onion with his favorite knife to be moments most conducive to flow.Flow is one of those “hard to describe but you know it when you feel it” qualitative experiences that you’ll have to identify for yourself. As the ultimate state of personal engagement, flow experiences have a special place in designing your life, so it’s important to get good at capturing them in your Good Time Journal.Flow is play for grown-ups. In the life design dashboard, we assessed our health, work, play, and love. The element we all find the most elusive in our busy modern lives is “play.” You might think that we all have too many responsibilities to have much time for play. Sure, we can strive to have our work and our chores engage skills we like using but face it—it’s work, not play. Maybe. Maybe not. Flow is one key to what we call an adult play, and a really rewarding and satisfying career involves a lot of flow states.The essence of play is being fully immersed and joyful in what you’re doing, without being constantly distracted by concerns about the outcomes. When we’re in the flow, that’s exactly what’s going on—we are fully present to what we’re doing, so present we don’t even notice the time. Seen this way, flow is something we should strive to make a regular part of our work life (and home life, and exercise life, and love life…you get the idea).EnergyAfter the engagement, the second wayfinding clue to look for is energy. Human beings, like all living things, need the energy to live and to thrive. Men and women used to spend most of their daily energy on physical tasks. For most of human history, men and women were working at hunting and gathering, raising children, and raising crops, most of their time consumed with energy-intensive physical labor.Nowadays, many of us are knowledge workers, and we use our brains to do the heavy lifting. The brain is a very energy-hungry organ. Of the roughly two thousand calories we consume a day, five hundred go to running our brains. That’s astonishing: the brain represents only about 2 percent of our body weight, and yet it takes up 25 percent of the energy we consume every day. It’s no wonder that the way we invest our attention is critical to whether or not we feel high or low energy.We engage in physical and mental activities all day long. Some activities sustain our energy and some drain it; we want to track those energy flows as part of our Good Time Journal exercise. Once you have a good handle on where your energy goes every week, you can start redesigning your activities to maximize your vitality. Remember, life design is about getting more out of your current life—and not only about redesigning a whole new life.Even if questions about some big change in your life may be what brought you to this blog, most life design work is directed at tuning up and improving the life you’re in, without having to make huge structural changes like changing jobs or moving or going back to grad school.You may be wondering, “Isn’t tracking my energy level kind of the same thing as tracking how engaged I am?” Yes and no. Yes, high levels of engagement often coincide with high levels of energy, but not necessarily. A colleague of Dave’s, a brilliantly fast-thinking computer engineer, found arguing for his point of view an engaging activity because it made him think on his feet.He was great at it and often found other people at work asking him to make their arguments for them. But he noticed that getting into those arguments totally exhausted him, even when he “won.” He was not a contentious person, and though it seemed fun at the time to outwit others, he always felt terrible when it was over. Energy is also unique in that it can go negative—some activities can actually suck the life right out of us and send us drained into whatever comes next. Boredom is a big energy-suck, but it’s much easier to recover from boredom than from being de-energized, so it’s important to pay specific attention to your energy levels.It’s About JoyAfter working on his Good Time Journal and paying attention to when he was engaged when he was in the flow, and what was energizing for him, Michael realized that he loved his job as a civil engineer when he was working on difficult and complex engineering problems. The times that drained him and made him miserable were those when he was dealing with difficult personalities, struggling to communicate with others, and performing other administrative tasks and distractions that had nothing to do with the intricate task of engineering.The end result was that, for the first time in his life, Michael was paying detailed attention to what really worked for him. The results were amazing. By simply discovering when he was enjoying himself at work and what caused his energies to rise and fall, Michael discovered that he actually enjoyed civil engineering.It was the people stuff, the proposal writing, and the fee negotiations that he hated. He just had to find a way to craft his job so that he was doing more of what he loved and less of what he hated. Instead of business school (which would probably have been a disaster, and an expensive one at that), Michael decided to double down on engineering.He ended up entering a Ph.D. program and is now a high-level civil and structural engineer, who spends his time, mostly alone, working on the kind of complex engineering problems that make him really happy. And he’s become so technically valuable that no one asks him to do the administrative stuff anymore. On good days, he goes home with more energy than when he left for work in the morning. And that’s a pretty great way to work.Here’s another key element when you’re wayfinding in life: follow the joy; follow what engages and excites you, what brings you alive. Most people are taught that work is always hard and that we have to suffer through it. Well, there are parts of any job or any career that are hard and annoying—but if most of what you do at work is not bringing you alive, then it’s killing you. It’s your career, after all, and you are going to be spending a lot of time doing it—we calculate it at 90,000 to 125,000 hours during the course of your lifetime. If it’s not fun, a lot of your life is going to suck.Now, what makes work fun? It’s not what you might think. It’s not one unending office party. It’s not getting paid a lot of money. It’s not having multiple weeks of paid vacations. Work is fun when you are actually leaning into your strengths and are deeply engaged and energized by what you’re doing.What About Purpose?At about this stage, we’re often asked, “Well, this is all great, but where do purpose and mission come into it? There’s more to life than just being engaged and energized. I want to be doing work I care about, work that’s important to me and that matters.”We couldn’t agree more. That’s why we addressed building your compass (your well-integrated Workview and Lifeview). As we suggested, it’s crucial for you to assess how well your work fits your values and priorities—how coherent your work is with who you are and what you believe. We are not suggesting a life singularly focused on engagement and energy level.We are suggesting that focused attention on engagement and energy level can provide very helpful clues to wayfinding your path forward. Life design consists of a whole set of ideas and tools that work together flexibly. We’ll give you lots of suggestions, but in the end, you’ll decide which things to focus on and how to organize your life design project. Now let’s get started on your Good Time Journal.Good Time Journal ExerciseWe’re going to ask you to do a Good Time Journal, as Michael did. Just how you build yours is up to you. You can make your entries all by hand in a bound journal, or use a three-ring binder with loose sheets, or even do it on your computer (though we strongly recommend you try it by hand, so you can sketch in your journal or binder). The most important thing is that you actually do it and regularly make entries; whatever format you will most enjoy and will use most often is the way to go.There are two elements to the Good Time Journal:•Activity Log (where I record where I’m engaged and energized)•Reflections (where I discover what I am learning)The Activity Log simply lists your primary activities and how engaged and energized you were by those activities. We recommend that you make Activity Log entries daily, to be sure to capture lots of good information. If every few daysis easier, that’s fine as well, but log activities at least twice a week or you’ll miss too much. If you’re using a binder, you can make log sheets using the worksheet at the end of this blog, which has little gauges for how engaged and energized you are by your activities. You can also just draw gauges (or whatever engagement and energy symbols you like) into your journal book. Do what works for you—just get the information down on paper.All of us are motivated by different kinds of work activities. Your job is to figure out which ones motivate you—with as much specificity as you can. It will take a while to get the hang of this, because, if you’re like most people, you’ve not been paying detailed attention to this sort of thing.Sure, there are times when we all come home at the end of the day and say, “That was great,” or “That sucked,” but we seldom sift through the particulars of what contributed to those experiences. A day is made up of many moments, some of which are great, some of which suck, and most of which lies somewhere in between. Your job is to drill down into the particulars of your day and catch yourself in the act of having a good time.The second element of the Good Time Journal is a reflection, looking over your Activity Log and noticing trends, insights, surprises—anything that is a clue to what does and doesn’t work for you. We recommend doing your Activity Log for at least three weeks, or whatever period of time you need to be sure you capture all the various kinds of activities that arise in your current situation (some activities may only come around every few weeks). Then we recommend that you do your Good Time Journal reflection weekly, so your reflections are based on more than just a single experience of each activity.Write your weekly reflections on blank pages in your Good Time Journal. We’ve included a page from one of Bill’s recent Good Time Journal Activity Logs.Bill’s reflection included these observations:He noticed that his drawing class and office hours reliably created flow states, and that teaching and “date night” were the activities that returned significantly more energy than they consumed. Doubling up on those activities would certainly be one way to energize his week.His weekly faculty meeting is sometimes full of interesting conversations and sometimes not, so he drew two arrows on his energy diagram. He was not surprised that budget meetings sucked the energy out of his day— he’s never liked the fiscal side of things much (though he appreciates that they’re crucial).Bill adjusted his schedule to surround these less engaging activities with more engaging activities and to give himself small rewards when he completes “energy-negative” tasks. The best way to deal with these energy-negative activities is to make sure that you are well rested and have the energy reserves needed to “do them right.” Otherwise, you might find yourself doing them again—costing you more energy than they should.Bill was surprised that coaching master’s students, the students he likes and spends the most time with, was such a drain on his week. After journaling a bit on that subject, he discovered two things: (1) he was trying to coach in a bad environment (the noisy graduate studio) and (2) his coaching interaction wasn’t effective—his students weren’t “getting it.”Those two observations resulted in a redesign of his Tuesday-night class environment (he changed classrooms) and a shift in the coaching structure from meeting one to one with each student to coaching in small groups, so students could help one another during the interactions. These changes worked so well that a few weeks later he was regularly going into the flow during coaching sessions. The budgeting still sucked, of course, but it’s not that big a part of the job, and the new coaching flow moments help make it more bearable.Bill was using his Good Time Journal primarily to improve his current life design. Michael did the exercise in search of what strategic career path to take.They had very different goals and got very different results, but both used exactly the same technique—paying detailed attention to what was engaging and energizing them.Zooming In—Getting to the Good StuffAfter a week or two, when you’ve got a decent body of entries in your Good Time Journal and you’re starting to notice some interesting things, it’s time to zoom in and take the exercise to the next level. Typically, after you start to get the hang of paying more detailed attention to your days, you notice that some of your log entries could be more specific: you need to zoom in to see more clearly.The idea is to try to become as precise as possible; the clearer you are on what is and isn’t working for you, the better you can set your wayfinding direction. For instance… What you initially logged as “Staff Mtg—Enjoyed it for once today!” might, after you’ve looked at it again, be more accurately restated as “Staff Mtg—Felt great when I rephrased what Jon said and everyone went ‘Ooooh—exactly!’ ”This more precise version tells a much more useful story about what specific activity or behavior engages you. And it opens the door to developing even greater self-awareness. When your entries have that kind of detail in them, your reflections can be more insightful.When journaling your reflection on the blog entry about that staff meeting, you might ask yourself, “Was I more engaged by artfully rephrasing Jon’s comment (getting the articulation dialed in just right) or by facilitating consensus among the staff (being the guy who made the group’s ‘Now we get it!’ unifying moment happen)?”If you conclude that artful articulation was the real sweet spot of that staff meeting moment for you, that important insight can help you be on the lookout for content-creation opportunities over group facilitation opportunities. Take this sort of observation and reflection as far as you find helpful (and no further—you don’t want to get stuck in your journal).AEIOUGetting great insights out of your Good Time Journal reflections isn’t always easy, so here are tool designers use to make detailed and accurate observations—part of getting good at the curiosity mindset. It’s the AEIOU method that provides you with five sets of questions you can use when reflecting on your Activity Log.Activities. What were you actually doing? Was this a structured or an unstructured activity? Did you have a specific role to play (team leader) or were you just a participant (at the meeting)?Environments. Our environment has a profound effect on our emotional state. You feel one way at a football stadium, another in a cathedral. Notice where you were when you were involved in the activity. What kind of a place was it, and how did it make you feel?Interactions. What were you interacting with—people or machines? Was it a new kind of interaction or one you are familiar with? Was it formal or informal? Objects. Were you interacting with any objects or devices—iPads or smartphones, hockey sticks or sailboats? What were the objects that created or supported your feeling engaged?Users. Who else was there, and what role did they play in making it either a positive or a negative experience?Using AEIOU can really help you to zoom in effectively and discover specifically what it is that is or isn’t working for you. Here are two examples:Lydia is a contract writer. She works to help experts document their procedures in manuals. And she’d come to conclude that she hated working with people—mostly because of how awful she felt after going to meetings, and how great she felt when she got to write all day. She was wondering how she could make a living without ever going to a meeting again when she did the Good Time Journal and used the AEIOU method.When she zoomed in, she observed that she actually liked people fine—when she got to meet with only one or two of them and either work hard on the writing or do rapid brainstorming on new project ideas (activity). She hated meetings about planning, schedules, and business strategy and any meeting with more than six people in it; she just couldn’t track all the different points of view (environment). She realized that she was just an intense and focused worker and that her intensity could be either nurtured or frustrated by other people (users), depending on the form of collaboration (interactions).Basra simply loved higher education. It didn’t matter what she was doing—if she was doing it on a university campus, she was a happy camper (environment). So she went to work at the university where she had done her undergraduate degree.For five or six years, she was very happy doing anything and everything from fund-raising to new student orientation (activity). Then it all began to fade, and she was nervous that her love affair with education was over. She did a version of the Good Time Journal and realized that she still loved the university, but had gotten into the wrong job.As she approached her thirties, environment alone was not enough; role mattered now. She’d accepted a promotion that transferred her from student affairs —and lots of interesting student interactions—to legal affairs—and lots of meetings with administrators and lawyers (users), and paperwork (objects). She figured it out and took a slight demotion to accept a position in the housing office, where she once again could have interactions of a more constructive nature and less paperwork.As you work on your reflections in the Good Time Journal, try using this AEIOU method to get more out of your observations. It is important to record whatever comes up and not to judge yourself—there are no right or wrong feelings about your experience. The thing to focus on is that this kind of information is going to be incredibly helpful in designing your life.Mining the MountaintopYour past is waiting to be mined for insights, too—especially your mountaintop moments, or “peak experiences.” Peak experiences in our past—even our long-ago past—can be telling. Take some time to reflect on your memories of past peak work-related experiences and do a Good Time Journal Activity Log and reflection on them to see what you find.Those memories have stuck with you for good reason. You can make a list of those peak experiences, or write them out as a narrative or story. It can be very enjoyable to set to words the story of that great time when you were on the team that planned what they’re still calling the Ultimate Sales Meeting, or when you wrote the procedure manual that they still pass out to new writers as the standard for doing it right. Having the narrative of your peak experiences written down will make it easier to extract from those stories the activities that most engaged and energized you, and to discover insights that you can apply today.Using past experience is particularly useful if you aren’t currently in a situation that lends itself to a successful Good Time Journal exercise, such as if you’re between jobs. It’s also helpful if you’re just getting started on your professional life and don’t yet have much experience.If so, think about activities that you did in other areas of your life (perhaps even decades ago) when you felt that life was working. A historical Good Time Journal on past projects from school, summer programs, volunteer projects—anything that you were seriously engaged by—can be useful. When looking back, do beware of revisionist history—being too kind to the good days or too critical of the bad times. Just try to be honest.Enjoy the JourneyThis new way of noticing will help guide you in finding what’s next for you. Like Lewis and Clark, you are starting to map some of the territories you’ve already covered, and are starting to see new possibilities in the territory ahead. You are moving from one level of awareness to another, really exploring how things make you (not your mom, dad, boss, or spouse) feel. You have started to wayfind— moving from where you are to the next possible place. Armed with your compass and your Good Time Journal insights, you can do a great job of wayfinding.Michael found his way.Lewis and Clark found their way.You can find your way as well.The next step is to generate as many options as possible, so you have lots to experiment with and prototype.For that, we’re going to need to do a little mind mapping.1. Complete a log of your daily activities, using the worksheet provided (or in your own notebook). Note when you are engaged and/or energized and what you are doing during those times. Try to do this daily, or at the very least every few days.2. Continue this daily logging for three weeks.3. At the end of each week, jot down your reflections—notice which activities are engaging and energizing, and which ones are not.4. Are there any surprises in your reflections?5. Zoom in and try to get even more specific about what does or does not engage and energize you.6. Use the AEIOU method as needed to help you in your reflections.

10 Habits That Change Boys Into MenThe demise of our culture will result from the demise of its men if something isn’t changed quickly. Far too many men remain directionless, devastated and scared children.Male suicide rate increased to three to four times higher than the female suicide rate. Men are twice as likely as women to become alcoholics. And males are far more likely to commit juvenile crime.Much has been said and written in recent years about the challenges of men and boys. A sampling of book titles includes:Why There Are No Good Men LeftThe Demise of GuysThe End of Men, Why Boys FailThe End of Men, And The Rise of WomenBoys AdriftManning Up: How The Rise Of Women Has Turned Men Into BoysA common theme is that men and boys have become increasingly confused about their identity and role in society. Kay Hymowitz, author of Manning Up, put it this way:“It’s been an almost universal rule of civilization that whereas girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess, or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors of women and children; this was always their primary social role. Today, however, with women moving ahead in an advanced economy, provider husbands and fathers are now optional, and the character qualities men had needed to play their role—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete and even a little embarrassing.”OBSERVER DAILYObserver Delivered to Your InboxGet the daily roundup from the best of Observer.SIGN UPIt is the norm in Hollywood films, TV and cable shows, and even commercials to portray men as incompetent, immature, or self-absorbed. This underlying message has subtly and increasingly become the collective unconscious with devastating repercussions.Academically, it is reported in the United States that:Girls outperform boys now at every level—from elementary school through graduate school.By eighth grade, only 20 percent of boys are adept in writing and 24 percent adept in reading.Young men’s SAT scores in 2011 were the lowest they’ve been in 40 years.According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to drop out of both high school and college.It is predicted that by 2016, women will earn 60 percent of bachelor’s and 63 percent of master’s degrees.Boys make up two-thirds of students in special education remedial programs.Women deserve the increased success they are getting. They’ve been oppressed for far too long. They’re hungrier and more motivated than most men. And hopefully society will continue to allow them the increased equality they deserve.However, this article’s focus is on helping the struggling and confused young man. Indeed, many young men have taken the adverse cues of society as an excuse to evade responsibility and never really grow up.If you are a young man and you’re struggling, you are not alone. This article is intended to challenge you to rethink your entire approach to life. If applied, these habits will radically set you apart from the decaying norm.Think Beyond YourselfKids look to their parents for all the answers. When they become teenagers they know all the answers. Many never mature out of this stage and remain incredibly narcissistic, which is displayed in the following ways:Believing you are better than othersExaggerating your talents or giftsExpecting constant praise and admirationFailure to recognize other people’s emotions or feelingsExpressing disdain for those who seem inferiorTrouble keeping healthy relationshipsActing as if you have nothing to learnInterestingly, psychological research on generational differences has found that Millennials are more narcissistic than previous generations.Moving beyond self-consciousness requires an increase in overall consciousness.By heightening your level of consciousness, you’ll see the brilliance of humanity in general, be able to relate deeper with others, experience greater joy, and have enhanced ability to manifest the destiny of your choosing.The following are ways to increase your level of consciousness:Allow yourself to experience your feelings, rather than block them out. Meditation is a helpful way to do this. You experience your thoughts and feelings, learn from them, then let them go.Let go of framing your idea of what should be and genuinely accept what is. The journey is the end, not simply a means to an end.Identify the meaningless things to which you’ve assigned meaning. Happiness and security can never be experienced when dependent on the external—they can only be achieved internally.Begin trusting your inner voice. If you feel a prompting to bring an umbrella with you, even when the weather report says the contrary, bring it.Explore the world, experience new cultures, and have your paradigm shaken and reframed.Question your own intentions and motivations.Be humble about your own humanity.Act with love, and become aware when you are not.Stop Playing Video GamesThere are a host of both positive and negative effects of playing video games. However, approximately 15 percent of American youth have an unhealthy addiction to video games. Another study reported that 31 percent of males and 13 percent of females have felt “addicted” to video games.Naturally, boys have a strong need for accomplishment and challenge. Yet, studies suggest that some of the most popular video games are disengaging boys from real-world pursuits. Boys’ need for accomplishment is satisfied by “leveling up” in the game; so they don’t feel the need to go out into the world and solve real problems. Thus, society is not being served by their efforts.Gaming often gets in the way of important relationships or meaningful life pursuits. 15 percent of divorces are filed by women because their husband prefers video games over them.This point is particularly significant to me. I myself spent a large portion of my time in junior high and high school playing World of Warcraft. Literally thousands of hours logged-in and lost.I see many of my high school friends and family members who are now in their late 20’s and 30’s continuing to play 4+ hours of video games per day—even when married with kids.Playing video games is being touted as a “healthy” way to escape reality. Yet, one must ask: Is escaping reality (especially for extended periods of time) ever healthy?The need for achievement and challenge can be accomplished in real life. You can “level-up” the real you while simultaneously solving social problems.Learn In Healthy Environments And Lay-Off The MedsThe industrial classroom model is killing our boys. It is not a healthy environment for them. Young boys need more physical stimulation.The result is that many are improperly and lazily diagnosed with ADHD. Their natural characteristics, emotions, passions, and gifts are being curbed by medications.Although it is not a popular notion, boys and girls are wired differently. Girls are often exclusively motivated by praise. They will perfect their handwriting just to have it noticed.Boys on the other hand, are often motivated by tangible experiences that relate to real life. Thus, many boys see no point in having good handwriting if one day they will spend their time typing. They don’t care as much what other people think. They just want to be challenged.Get Intensive Physical StimulationShort and intensive learning spurts, followed by rigorous physical stimulation is a powerful and positive way for boys and men to learn. Rough-and-tumble play helps develop the frontal lobe of the brain, which is used to regulate behavior. Sadly, many public schools are removing gym class and recess, further exacerbating problems among boys.If you’re living a sedentary life as a man, you’re not getting the needed stimulation you need. Research has found that males thrive in kinesthetic learning environments—learning through moving.Healthy Testosterone LevelsIntensive physical activity, like sprinting or heavy weight lifting (followed by extended rest periods) are a good outlet for men’s need of physical stimulation. Moreover, these intensive physical activities can activate healthy levels of testosterone which produce many positive effects—including:Fat lossMuscle gainHealthier bone densityNormalized blood pressureLower likelihood of obesity and heart attacksIncreased energyMore enjoyment of career and familyFeeling younger, stronger, sexier, and healthierHealthy sex driveStudies have found that healthy testosterone levels affect men’s cognitive performance, and can improve focus, motivation, and memory.The Need For Physical PainInterestingly, boys and girls experience pain differently. For boys, physical pain can be a stimulant fueling mental clarity. On the other hand, physical pain for girls can be a narcotic, making them feel hazy and confused.I’ve seen this in myself. Some of my greatest insights have come while pushing myself to the extreme while doing yard work or while exercising. This phenomenon is also seen in endurance athletes who push themselves through pain for many hours at a time.Take Responsibility For Your Life And Set Your Standards HighIn his book, Boys Adrift, Dr. Leonard Sax explains that boys need—not want—to be responsible. If they are not needed, they don’t flourish.Men step down if they’re not needed. And because of society’s message that men are no longer needed, many are staying in their parents basements.Although most men will not go out of their way to take on challenges and responsibility, this is the very thing they should do if they want to thrive. Indeed, it is becoming common knowledge that perception is followed by physical experience in the form of self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you will succeed, you often do.If you set your sights high in life, you will achieve incredible things. In order to do this, you can no longer play the victim to circumstances. Blaming the world, your parents, school, or the challenges you’ve faced in life is not going to solve your problems. It’s going to keep you stuck and bitter.Instead, take the time to imagine and mentally create your ideal life. Mental creation always precedes physical creation.You have the inner power to create whatever life you want to achieve. All you have to do is spend the time creating that world with intention. Write down exactly what you want in life. Set your standards ridiculously high. Don’t hold anything back.Read, rewrite, and reread your ambitions often. These will soon consume your subconscious mind creating new patterns in your brain. Eventually, you’ll manifest the world you’ve been creating in your head.Prayer, Meditation, And Journal WritingChristianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and every other religious and spiritual tradition strongly stress the significance of regular prayer. Although the form of practice may be different, the purpose is the same: Gratitude, inspiration, self-realization, deepened connection to God/existence, and the improvement of humanity as a whole.Prayer (and modifications such as meditation and gratitude journals) are regularly found to increase physical and mental well-being.For me, I often combine prayer with journal writing as a form of meditation. I seek inspiration, direction, heightened perspective, and gratitude.Scientifically supported benefits of prayer include:Improves self-controlMakes you nicerMakes you more forgivingIncreases your trustOffsets negative health effects of stressPeople are often turned-off by prayer, believing it is a strictly “religious” practice. Even if organized religion is not your thing, you can still have a positive and healthy relationship with prayer.Earn Good FriendsYou are who you surround yourself with. There’s no way around it. If you want to evolve past your current state, you need to remove yourself from the negative forces in your life. This will not be easy. Misery loves company.However, when you decide to remove yourself from negative people—and instead surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you—your life will dramatically improve.Take the leap. Invite your friends to come along with you. If they don’t understand your needed evolution, kindly bid them a loving farewell.Commit Fully To Someone“We’re supposed to believe that relationships tie people down, that they are the death knell for creativity and ambition. Nonsense.”—Ryan HolidayWith all the productivity and success advice going on in the world today, very little is written about the benefits of finding a spouse who supports you and makes you better.It is quite rare for people to stay committed to anything or anyone these days. There are countless fatherless children. Many seek easy sexual prey followed by the internal pit of emptiness—too afraid to reveal and confront their true identity.Research has found that committed relationships can reduce the chance of illness and increase the length of life. Other benefits of long-term commitment in relationships include:Greater sense of life satisfactionIncreased happinessA host of practical benefits, such as shared assets and childrenLess likely to engage substance-abuseDecreased likelihood of depression and neglect of one’s health“Choose your love, love your choice.”—Thomas MonsonI got married at age 24. I’ve never felt restrained by that decision, only liberated. Now 27, we have three foster children, what most would consider a huge blow to our freedom.This could not be further from the truth in my experience. Instead, I’m challenged to become a better person every day. I’m challenged to think beyond my own needs and to learn patience, humility and love.I would never make such monumental decisions without prayer, fasting, meditation, and journaling. However, when you’re in a state of clarity, you can follow your intuition and consistently make good decisions. As Malcom Gladwell expounds in “Blink,” snap decisions are often more accurate than well-thought-out ones.Of course marriage isn’t easy. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But why choose the easy path? As a man, challenge and responsibility is precisely what is needed to thrive.Fall In Love With LearningOrdinary people seek entertainment. Extraordinary people seek education and learning. We now live in a world where you no longer need to go to college (or high school) to become educated. At your fingertips is an unlimited and ever-increasingly well of information. You can become an expert at anything.Many of the world’s most successful people attribute their success to a love for learning. They often read one or more books per week. With a few books, you can learn how to build wealth, healthy relationships, and the life of your dreams.With more information and education, you will make better lifestyle choices. You’ll be less likely to have destructive addictions and make ignorant decisions.You’ll be more likely to surround yourself with brilliant people, learn new languages and explore the world, come up with solutions to the world’s problems, and have passion and zest for life.Stop gaming and start reading. The real world awaits. And it’s amazing.Take Bigger Risks“Don’t fail by default.”—Richard Paul EvansRichard Paul Evans, the famous writer, often tells a story of being a shy high school kid. In one of his classes, he sat next to the girl of his dreams. He spent an entire year wishing he could work up the courage to ask her out. But he never ended up talking to her.“Why would she be interested in a loser like me?” he would say to himself.A few years later, at a high school reunion, they met and talked.“I just have to ask: Why didn’t you ever ask me out?” she asked. “I always liked you and hoped you would talk to me.”Evans was shocked.He had been wrong that entire time and missed the opportunity he spent over a year dreaming about. In that moment, he determined to never fail by default again.“If I’m going to fail, I’m going to fail big,” he has said. “If I fail, I’m going to fail after giving it everything I’ve got.”Stop playing life small. Date people that seem absurdly out of your league. They’re not—only in your head.Don’t be conservative in your career until you’re in your 40’s. There is little risk while you’re young, energetic, and motivated. Now is the time to take huge risks. Embrace rejection and failure. In turn, embrace enormous and unimaginable success.ConclusionYou can have whatever life you choose.Don’t be afraid to dream big for yourself.Have the courage to seize that life and truly live, rather than only imagining living.Pixwebmedia - Image Editing Services Online

How I have dealt with my executive function difficulties.By Jan Fargo responding to request from Helen Wolf on Quora.When I was very little, it was my parent’s constant prodding and reminders to stick to the task at hand that kept me on track.In school we were taught to focus on one thing at a time. Commands like: ‘Put away your spellers and take out your arithmetic books’, helped us focus on the current subject.On my own I learned the value of physical order and organization during free drawing time in grade school. We had very tiny desks with little space to spread out our work, and I became annoyed with myself for constantly misplacing my crayons, ruler, pencil, eraser. So I learned to force myself to always put these items back into the same place I had taken them from, even when I thought I was going to use them again in the next minute. This principle has carried over into adult life, into office work and into managing and running a household, but it has never become completely internalized. Even today, I still have to do a lot of self-talk or nagging to keep myself on the track of orderliness.While I was in grade school, my parents had three more children who were at home playing all day long, making a mess of things every day. Every evening, when it was time for my father to come home, mother said, ‘Put away all the toys! Get ready for dinner! You father will be home soon!’Being so much younger, they had no clue how to tackle the gargantuan mess they had created all day long, so I helped them out. I figured out that it was important to first put away the largest items, like tricycles, Tonka trucks, card tables and chairs. Next came dolls and stuffed animals placed into their own special bin, then the children’s books on their own shelf. Then we would focus on one single construction set at a time. Collect all the Lincoln Logs and put them into their own dedicated box, next gather and box up all the Logstix, then the Legos, and so on. At that time Legos only had red, white, and clear Lego bricks for windows, and we could only build buildings with them. In this way we quickly and easily restored order to the playroom.The principle of clearing the largest most visible items first came in handy after we moved to a house that did not have a playroom. My dad often worked Saturdays and he demanded neatness and order when he came home. In addition to dusting, vacuuming, and washing the floors, our rooms had to be spick and span. Considering that we had been playing in them all day, this was quite a feat. Again we learned to make the bed first. Clear the desk tops and table tops of clutter. If there was not time to carefully sort and box the small items, at least cover the clutter up or sweep it all into a box or drawer where it could not be seen.Somewhere along the way I learned how much easier it was to find and keep clothes and underwear available when they were organized by weight, sleeve length, and color.Unfortunately, I did not receive as much support for keeping track of papers, like my homework, my finished assignments, or my special papers, photos, postcards, and other mementoes I liked to hoard. No one showed me how to organize and keep track of my papers. No one provided me with appropriate storage space and file boxes for my archives. My homework was always lost. My cherished Life Magazine photo essays quickly got tattered and torn as I shifted them from place to place to avoid my father’s wrath. Whenever I found a discarded cardboard box that was the right size for some of my treasures, I gleefully co-opted it for my use, but there was never enough, and I had lost most of my treasures by college.It was only as an adult, while I was temping in various offices that I became aware of the availability of file cabinets, hanging file folders, file boxes, folders, index card boxes and the like. It was even later when I discovered office supply stores where I could buy these items. During many frequent moves and placing items into storage, I learned the value of using uniform size boxes that stack well together. Later I discovered moving suppliers where I could buy what I needed instead of hoping for lucky finds behind the store.Those are some of the ways I deal with physical organization. The mental organization is much more challenging and I have never been satisfied with my handling of it. A typical example is my tardiness in answering your A2A. I actually started my reply weeks ago, when your request for response appeared in my feed, but I have not been able to complete the response yet.One main cause of the delay is my lack of time organization. I have come to realize that I need to SCHEDULE time for special projects like this one, but I seldom have any schedule at all.Secondly, I am so impaired in my keyboarding, that it takes me about three times as long to type out a given paper than it takes a typical person. So, even If I have scheduled and allowed time to do the work, it is never enough time on the first, second, or third attempts.I often cannot and do not schedule time, or enough time, for special projects like this one because my Activities of Daily Living take up more time than my waking hours in the day. If I cook three meals a day, which is my preference because of economy and diet considerations, there is no time left for cleaning, shopping or answering emails. Whenever I have responded promptly to emails and questions on Quora, the time has been stolen from household chores or from sleeping time. I have spent many nights up until 3 or 4 AM reading and answering Quora.Right now I am typing this part of the response instead of doing my ‘setup’ of my weekly supplements. Because I take a large number of supplements every day which help my brain and nervous system function better, I find it efficient to have them all counted out and placed into three containers for each day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This saves time and effort every day, but at the end of the week I need to set aside over an hour to do the setup again for the following week.A third cause of my delays in performing desired or required tasks is a limit in my energy and my endurance, both physical and mental. Housework and daily living tasks are so boring, I have to do them first thing in the morning while I am still energized. Even with an early start, I usually cannot get them done in a reasonable amount of time, so then I cheat myself of exercise and recreation. I skip my walk, I skip my swim, I skip my aerobics class, I skip my discussion groups, I skip my music practice, I skip my arithmetic practice, I skip doing art, I skip singing. Consequently, I become very bored, depressed, and lethargic.Physically, I have difficulty with fine motor activities, so I cannot do needlework, mending, keyboarding, or piano playing, to name a few, efficiently. My fingers, arms and shoulders become stiff and cramped, and my results are so far below par that they are completely unacceptable, even to me, so that I tend to avoid such activities altogether. An illustration: when I was a little girl, my mother tried to teach me to darn socks. After I had darned a sock, no one could wear it! When I was taking piano lessons, even I could not stand the noise of my practicing!Most housework requires standing in one place for long periods of time. Again, this impacts my joints and muscles which have a condition that does not tolerate stress, weight, impact, and repetitive motion.Working on the computer, whether composing or answering emails likewise is very bad for my body, with the addition of the negative effects of sitting. Yes, I did finally get a standing desk, but again, it becomes stressful on my knees, hips, and back.Living with a loved one who has even worse difficulties than I have, I have come to realize that the things I do well, and efficiently, and regularly enough to be of positive value in my life are all things I was forced to do and to practice and to repeat at an early age, so that they became ingrained into my nervous system and my muscle memory and my internal calendar. My partner was given much less encouragement and practice and consequently lacks many basic skills.The activities which I tried once, or which someone once tried to teach me once but gave up after one failed attempt are the activities I have never mastered or taken a liking to. Even lengthy exposure, when not first introduced properly for my mind type has not given me the desired skills or knowledge.I will tell you two stories of abilities I acquired on my own in adulthood. These two instances prove to me that the problem is not with my dense brain or slow reflexes, but rather with the lack of caring, patience, and follow- through I have met in most life situations, even in classes and coaching.If you feel these stories are too long or too distracting from the main topic, please feel free to remove them from your publication or to use them independently elsewhere.The first story is about arithmetic.For various reasons, circumstances, and conditions, including illness, listening and hearing difficulties, and uncorrected near-sightedness, I never received the usual, normal introductions to arithmetic either at home or in pre-school. Because of this lack of preparation compounded by the pre-existing conditions, I never ‘got’ the arithmetic that was taught in the first three or four grades.In addition, I was out of school with an illness when multiplication was introduced. No one bothered to get me caught up. I simply came back to class, sat down, opened the workbook, and wondered what those x’s meant. I wish I had kept track of how long I simply added the numbers before someone noticed and realized what I was doing instead of multiplication! In spite of daily classroom drills in which the whole class recited tables over and over again, I never did learn the multiplication tables. When I graduated from eighth grade, I was still counting on my fingers, and adding up to get the sum of multiplication problems. Fractions completely eluded me.In high school I flunked geometry and algebra, so they did not allow me to take algebra ll. I tried to make up the deficiency by signing up for summer school and was ASKED TO LEAVE BECAUSE I WAS HOLDING BACK THE CLASS! Therefore, I could not take high school trigonometry, or chemistry, or physics. Technically, I should not have been graduated from high school, but they had me make up the extra units by taking two years of a second language.Because of my high IQ scores, my parents and my teachers were bound and determined that I must go to college, so they dissuaded me from taking any practical business courses, not even typing! How many nights of sleep I lost in college sitting up and typing by the ‘hunt and peck’ method so I could slide the already due paper under the prof’s door at the crack of dawn!And why did I have these IQ tests administered to me? Because ‘they’ were trying to understand why I was not ‘getting’ arithmetic. Then when my scores came in so high I was blamed for being lazy, for not caring, for not trying, for not doing my homework, for not listening in class! “If only she would . . . . . .” was the unending refrain. There was no concept at that time of what we today call ‘Twice Exceptional’ or 2E, being gifted and yet having a learning disability.With my lack of math or science background, I could not enter a real state college science program, so I went to a small, private, women’s college with a very limited liberal arts curriculum. The college was located near a military base and the understanding was that we were only there to earn our ‘Mrs.’ Degrees! The three ‘science’ courses I received were lecture courses in astronomy, geography, and physical anthropology! There was absolutely no math or even arithmetic involved.When I ‘graduated’ from this college, I was unemployable. Although I had majored in English and American Literature, I could not teach high school without a Master’s degree in my field. Because of my abysmal track record in education, I certainly was not going into graduate school. So, I tried to find a job in the ‘real’ world.As I searched and interviewed for jobs there were two refrains that were used to disqualify me from every position for which I applied.1. “How fast do you type, dear? You don’t type? That’s a shame. We always need good secretaries.”OR2. “You are too highly educated with your B.A. in liberal arts. We cannot hire you to be a file clerk. You would get bored!”By the end of summer I was desperate. Then someone told me that private schools operating on limited budgets often employed young persons with only a bachelor’s degree. So I applied at our local parochial school and was hired to teach third grade. Of course I knew nothing of real teaching methods. I simply followed the teacher’s guides and my memory of how I was taught at that grade. In the course of attempting to teach these children arithmetic, I became more aware of some of the ‘number facts’ and addition combinations. I even internalized most of the times tables!The following summer in this city there was a teacher shortage, and a special program was initiated to bring adults with bachelor’s degrees into the profession. There were special classes at night and in the summer through which we would earn a standard lifetime teaching credential. Because teaching in the public schools would pay me twice much at the start as did the private school, I jumped at the opportunity.We were taught the history, philosophy and methods of every subject that might be taught from kindergarten through adult. Everything went well for me until the last set of courses. There was a course I had avoided and put off until the last: Methods of Teaching Modern Mathematics for Elementary School Teachers!I was terrified. I had worked diligently and succeeded at every previous course, but I knew I would not be able to pass this one. I could barely do ‘regular’ arithmetic counting on my fingers! How on earth would I do this thing called “Modern Math”? Many of my fellow classmates were similarly terrified. In fact, several of them dropped out of the class.In this class we were taught things I had never heard of, like number theory, number lines, set theory and Venn diagrams, but to my surprise, I understood and enjoyed it all! In fact, I received an ‘A’.After the course was finished, I stayed after and spoke to the professor. I told him my sad story of disability with arithmetic and being ostracized for my failures. I asked him how it was possible that I, the arithmetic dropout could have aced his class. His answer was, “In grade school they were just teaching you arithmetic, which even machines can do. But I was teaching you mathematics, which only the human mind can comprehend!”Years later I was relating this story to a fellow hiker who said: “Of course! I know that professor. I was in his classes. He was the best mathematics professor on campus!”And more years after that, as I was reading and researching to understand my mind, my disabilities, and my failures in life, I read a book titled: In The Mind’s Eye by Thomas G. West https://www.amazon.com/Minds-Eye-Thinkers-Difficulties-Creativity/dp/1573921556.In this book I learned that many successful persons like Ford, Edison, Tesla, had difficulties with schooling and even math. Yet several of them were discovered and helped by some kindly mentor who introduced them to science and higher maths where they eventually made their great contributions.After my success in the course in Modern Math for Elementary Teachers, I had briefly contemplated returning to school and making another try at math, but my need for steady income was greater because I was desperate to escape from my parents’ domination.Off and on over the years I have tried to take remedial courses and tutoring in arithmetic, but have always hit the same two obstacles:1.Either the school, in this case a local community college, repeatedly refuses me appropriate accommodations, not even a quiet study space that I need for my Attention Deficit,OR2.The tutors just want to run me through a bunch of work sheets instead of working on developing the mathematical concepts I missed out on in early childhood and they want to move on as soon as I got a particular type of problem correct once, instead of giving me the tons of practice I need on basics to fix them in my mind.This inability to make up my deficit in math has made me very sad and angry, because I know from my success in the course in Modern Math that I do have the mental capacity to learn and do math, and I know from reading the book In the Mind’s Eye that even geniuses needed some help getting started in their fields of success.My second story concerns volleyball.The same factors that kept me from a normal exposure to and familiarity with the basics of arithmetic kept me from developing any skill at any schoolyard games, particularly ball games. Physical education was the all too common fiasco in which children who were way too young were lined up to pitch, catch, and bat a ball. The few who already had some exposure and practice continued to practice and play and enjoy the game and choose their fellow precocious classmates for their teams, while the rest of us just stood around or ‘walked.’Volleyball seemed different. There was more individual involvement. You had an equal chance of hitting the ball or of being hit by it, but the game was not boring like baseball. Still, even here, the taller, stronger, more developed and more coordinated ones ruled, and clumsy klutzes like me were chosen last because we missed the ball too often.In addition, there was the social factor. Because most classmates had developed a network of friendships and alliances which socially lost aspie me was left out of, there was another reason I did not get chosen for the teams and therefore did not get enough practice to improve my skills.So it went all through high school and college. A few years after graduation, bored with being a stay-at-home mom, I discovered a series of volleyball clinics at the local Parks and Recreation. They were three days a week. Each day focused on a different skill. Tuesdays were serving, Wednesdays were setting, Thursdays were spiking. The first hour we each and all took turns practicing nothing but the skill of the day. No one sat out. Everyone received an equal number of turns. The second hour we played a very slow, low level game, because we were all rank beginners.Towards the end of the semester course, during the second hour of free play, the coaches began to introduce us to more experienced players who would take the opposite court from us. At first these games were rather brutal for our class, but we began to apply what we had learned and slowly improved our odds.The day I realized taking this class had been a very good choice for me, we were in a game against some very aggressive hitters. Whenever we sent the ball over to their side, they returned it, blazing like a meteor, barely over my head, too fast for me to stop it, too low for the one behind me to pick it up. This happened several times when suddenly what we had been practicing was activated in my brain. Without a thought, I jumped up and hit the ball with both fists directly into their faces, two or three times in a row, before they realized they had better aim their fire elsewhere. My moment of triumph came as I heard one of the hard hitters mutter: “I thought she couldn’t do anything!”Now, I did not go on to join the Olympic volleyball team. I did not even sign up for more games, because of my weak knees which would not let me keep jumping like that, but it was such a great feeling to be one of the good players for a change.The message from my experience in the Modern Math class, and in the volleyball clinic is that even someone like me who seems at first to be slow, retarded, and disabled in many areas can shine when given enough support. Sadly, I have not had enough support in most areas of my life.I perceive that the persons of whatever diagnosis who have executive function difficulties simply need more and different support than they have received so far. If I had received proper oversight and supervision with my arithmetic homework, I would eventually have learned the arithmetic, as well as how to study and how to organize my papers. If my partner had been given as many opportunities to practice basic household maintenance as I have had, I would not have to be the guide, the coach, the mentor for every little chore. If I had been shown how the world works, and how people collaborate and get things done, I could have made some great achievements.I feel sick when I read the stories of the painters without hands and the dancers missing a leg and the blind mountaineer who did Everest. All of these people had entire teams supporting them in every aspect of their journey.I usually cannot get all my daily chores done in a day. I have to steal time from chores and from sleep to read Quora and write answers like this one.No, I have not overcome my difficulties with executive function. I just have more practice at ignoring the pain of doing boring things all day which leave no time for recreation or creativity.Executive function is like our appetite for food. We are given appetite and hunger so we will feed ourselves and not starve. But if there is no good-tasting food available, we might eat a lot less or none at all. When there is nothing interesting to do, we might choose to do nothing.When people complain about poor executive function in their spectrumite children or spouses or workers, they need to realize that you are asking them every day to eat gruel, like Oliver Twist and the orphans. You are asking them to eat soggy cardboard. You are asking them to swallow dry crackers. How hungry would you have to be before you would eat a raw worm, or a spider, or something slimy from the bottom of the well?Have you considered how traumatic it is to be rushed through activity after activity from the moment you wake up, with no time to yourself? No time to do anything you care about?You say they should do their chores and homework faster and more efficiently. Well, after seven decades of practice, I am pretty efficient at lots of household chores, and if I were to do everything I am supposed to do, I could never take a walk or read Quora, to give two examples.We cannot be rushed. We need to learn and do at our own pace. Over time we may become more efficient and effective at certain activities. But to get there, you need to wake us up three hours before time to leave the house, because we are not going to learn how to do things right when we are constantly being rushed and hurried.The real problem with executive function is that we do not allow the children or persons to do those things for which they have an appetite, for which they have will and desire, for which they have plenty of executive energy.The real problem is this contemporary lifestyle, this frantic, rushed, consumeristic, driven frenzy in which the only good person is a busy and productive person, a consumer, a doer, a collector of things, an accumulator of experiences.There is too much to do. There is too much to do that is artificial and arbitrary and driven by greed and competition.We need a simple lifestyle. When I was little, I wanted to run away and live with the Indians. I did not want to ride in a car when I could walk. I did not want to go to the movies when I could read a book. I did not want to listen to the record player when I could sing. I did not want to mow the lawn and throw away the grass clippings when I could have planted vegetables to eat. And so on.People like to bring bread to the ducks in the pond. The ducks eat it because they are greedy and hungry and it is available right there. But the bread is not good for them. That is why these days we are requested to please not feed the ducks. But before those laws were made and those signs were put up, I used to bring the ducks snails I had collected in my garden. You should have seen those ducks come swarming over and gobbling them up! Ten times faster than how they ate the bread!If you could only look at your life and your world with the eyes of one of us, you would see that 90% of what we make ourselves and our children do is worthless. The little Ugly Ducklings do not need bread, they need snails and frogs and water plants to eat!Try giving them some snails for a change and watch them gobble them up! There is nothing wrong with their appetites after all. Better yet, turn them loose in the pond and see what they do. There is nothing wrong with their will, with their executive function. They just need real, and interesting and important things to do.Thanks for the A2A, Helen Wolf.23.9 KB 9 pages 4509 words 382 minutes editingMic����)�